Weekly Skews - S6 Ep8: Weekly Skews – Olympic-Sized Scandals

Episode Date: February 11, 2026

We talk about the various freakouts surrounding the Super Bowl, then the various freakouts surrounding the Olympics. Then we get into the continuing fallout around the Epstein documents and how officials in other countries are facing consequences. Not in America though, because no one here did anything they could be ashamed of, because no one has shame.This episode is sponsored by ZBiotics. Go to https://www.zbiotics.com/SKEW now. You'll get 15% off your first order when you use SKEW at checkout.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp makes it easy to get matched online with a qualified therapist. Sign up and get 10%  https://www.betterhelp.com/skews 

What's up, everybody. Welcome back. Happy Skues Day to you. It is February 10th. As we're recording this, it's Monday, February 9th at about 1.30 p.m. on the left coast. If I sound weird, it's because about 10 minutes ago my sinuses just closed up entirely. Both my nostrils just, what's the word? What do?

What do sphincters do, Mark? They did my nostrils did, you know, like, you know, like sphincter. That's a word for it. What buttholes do. That's what my nostrils did. Contracted? Yeah. I can try, I'm fully, fully just, I can't breathe at all through my nose.

That's fun. I have no idea why that is. Should make for, you know, an interesting, a listener experience. Thank you for being here to the listeners. I'm trying. That's Mark. How are you doing? Oh, good, man.

I had a little bit of hungover this morning from a Super Bowl party. I was at, but then I sweated that in the ellip. I'm just glad the game was boring so we could focus on a real national pastime, which is stupid culture war bullshit. Uh-huh. I want to know about the bad buddy stuff. minute, but I want to read this to you. So R. A.K. Jr. was asked what he would eat during the Super Bowl. He said, quote,

I'm on a carnivore diet, so I just eat meat and fermints, and I'm very happy with that. So I'm probably going to have yogurt. So, Trey, how was your Super Bowl yogurt and other fermints? Yogurt and sundry other fermits. What are other fermits? Is that like kombucha? Is that a fervent? Can you have kombucha? Because that's, you know, that's hippie-coated, although some hippies are right-way now, so he's kind of, he's

for them, so I guess that's fine. He can have confidence. I've never heard the food category of ferments before, so I'm not familiar with what goes in it, so I guess you can put whatever you want in it. So, yeah, kombucha, let's say that's a ferment. So the halftime show, like, I don't think there's a huge segment of actual human beings who give a shit about whether or not Bad Bunny did or did not do the Super Bowl halftime show. I think maybe one every thousand people is convinced they need to care about it.

The problem is that, like, all of those are those people are controlled. though nuclear weapons. Yeah. Right. You saw it, of course, right? Yeah. Oh, dude, I was at a, you know, there's this big group of improv, people like groundlings, you know, so they're all like actors, artists, creatives, or whatever that we always do potlucks with,

including for the Super Bowl. So, I mean, I mean, honestly, that was, like, the main event for most of the people. Yet, like, everyone was watching the halftime show and maybe 8% of people. people were watching the game. Yeah, to be fair, like you said, the game sucked. But it wouldn't matter if it sucked or not. Most of the people at the party, I was at, wouldn't have watched it anyway. But they were keyed in to the halftime show.

So, yes, I saw it every moment. Yeah, I mean, I'm not sure what people were expecting. I guess because, you know, Bad Bunny used to perform in dresses and stuff. They're expecting to see something super gay instead of saw a bunch of, like, pretty ladies dancing, swivel in their hips. Well, it wasn't just that. It was also, like, and I did my video about it. As we're recording this, I haven't put the video out yet, but I'm going to post it

right after we get done, but about, like, I mean, about a lot of things. But one thing I think is funny, it's not just what you just said. It's also like, if it was a white dude on that same set and doing a lot of that same stuff, they'd fucking love that shit. Because it's like, you know, it's like farm looking shit. He's on a truck singing at one point, you know, a man and woman get married in the middle of it. Like, it was all really straight up there shit. Honestly, it's just it was.

brown people and it was in Spanish. So they were like, fuck this. So, I mean... I could even like... It was 13 minutes if you don't like, go smoke a cigarette, bro. I don't know what to tell you. It's time to figure. So anyway, like, I found like the overreaction.

Like, it was just mainly just a performance. And I found that people reacting like it was some super big middle finger to middle America or something like weird. But also the New York Times thing was like it wasn't political at all. Like, it was political just not in a way that was like in your, face. And it wasn't like, it wasn't like fuck America or fuck MAGA. It was, fuck colonialism.

Yeah, well, it was like, uh, I saw a headline that I thought was pretty good. I think it was the Daily Beast or something. So, you know, make a wish. But they, it was, uh, it said something like bad bunny scandalizes MAGA with wholesome culture or something, you know, wholesome Latino culture or something like that. And it really, it's pretty much what it, it was all, it was super wholesome. The whole thing was super wholesome. Again, it's just, if you don't like Puerto Ricans and Latinos and stuff, if you're, if you are, if you're not racist, I don't know what problem you could have with that.

So anybody who doesn't like it, I feel like that means that you are racist. Well, I mean, look, like, I'm not a zoomer and I'm not really into, I don't speak Spanish and I'm not really into like mumble rap. So like, it wasn't like, like, I thought, throwing all that aside, the bad bunny not being like my favorite artist or anything like that. it was fun to watch. But like, but like, so that, so he was wearing a jersey.

It was hard to make out because it was all white, but it's like, the name Ocasio on the back and a bunch of people got mad because they thought he was reping a OEC. His last name was Ocasio. He even said that in the show.

He said it. He said, my name is Benito Martinez, Ocasio. I left one of them out. But yeah. Yeah. Yeah,

it's his last night. So the number 64 on the jersey could maybe avail reference to the artificially deflated death toll after her K. Maria when the government lied about it. There's also like, I saw somebody be like, like, they were forming like paratransformers sparked, like staying on top of the power lines or whatever. That's obviously

an allusion to the power grid crisis in Puerto Rico it's been going on for like a decade. And it was just about the colonial mismanagement. And Laura Lumer was like, oh, he could have called attention to that. Instead, he actually had the power grid was fine. He's like, no, you dumb fucking moron. It's what he's doing. Like these people, the media lit, oh, God. It's like if you, anyway, it was, it was, it was, uh, in, uh, off the, obviously,

the politics of like setting it on a sugar plantation, sugar cane field, what is, kind of was interesting too, but like, it wasn't in your face where if you didn't understand the references, you didn't, it wasn't like, going to annoy you. But like, like, say, other things about the halftime show, um, someone placed 17 winning bets on the halftime show, Polymarket. Um, so, yeah, I just want to, again, I want to keep bringing us up. If you were making bets on those things without inside information, you were a, rude.

Yeah, right, exactly. Yeah. Why are you betting that Lady Gaga will not be in the halftime show when you don't know? Yeah, like who came up with that? Yeah, it seemed, you think it seemed a little fishy that someone even posits that she might. Perhaps that person knows something. But yeah, Gaga showed up. That was a big hit at the party I was at.

And, uh, dude. Pedro Pascal just got out of us. Yeah, spotted them on the port. Bro, Ricky Martin, you talk about a fine wine, buddy. Good Lord. He had aged a day. God damn. He fucking.

He was looking good, boy. Shout out to Ricky. Yeah, he's on an Apple Plus show we watch, call it Paul Morale. He's a, he's a, like, a 60. Like a gay assistant or like a fit? What did he's? He, like, lives in a rich lady's pool house and gives her physical therapy or something. These exact job descriptions aren't really.

He's a kept man. Yeah. So, but the commercials, which lends into a wider economy and culture. Every commercial for the Super Bowl was basically gamble your life away. A.L. will live your life for you and we're watching you. Do you want to see the ring camera?

No, I was about to say the one thing that didn't, like, one thing I noted yesterday was that no one was really paying any attention in any of the commercials, which is such a departure from when I was a kid and stuff when that was like, you know, that was the side show. Like if you didn't care about football, you watched it to see the commercials.

And I know they still put a lot of money in the Super Bowl commercials. but at least where I was, nobody was paying any attention to any of them. Because the ads have become four things no one wants. Right. So, like, the ring camera ad, like, it was like, basically ring cameras are all linked together. And using AI can help find your lost dog. And like, wait, wait, ring cameras are remote controlled and they have facial recognition AI and this is how you're telling us.

Right. So anyway I've always hated this fucking ring camera thing Just because I'd be in like writers rooms And people would be like not get nonstop notifications on their phone People walk by their house They get deeply paranoid about it They're watching their phones all day

Because like I don't know Guys when you're not home people walk past their house So but these things always drive me crazy But anyway You look into a near future where like You'll order a pizza And when the pizza guy walks up to your front door if he has unpaid parking tickets,

you're going to get a bunch of cops screaming up, you know, lights and sirens into your yard to snatch the guy. That's the future we've apparently decided for ourselves. Anyway, to my relief, everyone else was as horrified by the ad as I was, and you're not going to fucking help you find your dog, man. In other news,

blending all our stupid stories together, Bill Belichick's girlfriend, Jordan Hudson, you know, Duke played North Carolina where Belichick coaches now over the weekend at a basketball game. attended the basketball game alongside him, wearing a t-shirt with a logo for the Orchids of Asian Day Spa on it, which is the Florida massage parlor, where Robert Kraft was the owner of the pets, was arrested for prostitution.

Yeah. Perhaps I've been too harsh on this young lady. I really appreciated this move. First thing she's done, that's it for me. I thought that's, I mean, that's pretty hilarious, in my opinion. Right. Fuck Robert Kraft. Right.

So he's in the Epstein Files, of course, we talked about last week. But a lot of things to unpack here. One, the closest we get to consequences for apparently be involved in sex trafficking, which the woman Robert Kraft was accusing him paying for sex was a woman in the country illegally working at a massage parlorish. She's a sex trafficking victim. I have no way of knowing how willing she was a participant in it. But anyway, so like the basically, but anyway, Jordan Hudson, who famously met Bill Belichick when she was like, 20 and he was 70

is now trying to dunk on Robert Kraft for being the emails of a guy who's accused of having sex with much younger women. I just don't think my much older borderline illegal boyfriends ex-best friend is in the Epstein files isn't like the own you think it is Jordan but whatever yeah. Yeah but I think

I mean it's just they got their little pissing match going on, Belichick and Kraft and you know so she's just taking shots at him whatever I mean you're right it's a little and then I'm mad at him for didn't get... They're not matter for being

the pervert because he didn't get the fucking Hall of Fame. Exactly. Right. That's true. No, I know.

Yeah. That's 100% what it is. Which, I mean, that is bullshit, by the way. But,

but, yeah. Yeah. All right. So, no plugs. Jump right into it. Let's just get started.

Why not? With the Daily Dome I asked, Matt. Graphic. I kind of sprung that on you. I'm sorry, Matt. I can vamp a little

bit if you're not at all ready. We all know how you are. You just go hit that graphic whenever you got it, Matt. He can edit it out. I know, but I think this is funny. I want to see how long.

I know he can't edit it out. But I thought, I didn't actually think it would take this long, so I thought he'd just cut me off at some point, and it might be kind of... See, that was good. I bet that played. Anyway, this week's DD is John Holmes for wasting his life inspiring boogie nights

when the whole time he could have been ski jumping. It's the latest scandal to chill this year's Winter Olympics, in Italy, and it's going by one name. Croachgate. That's right, Protchgate. It all started in January when one German newspaper alleged that some male Olympic ski jumpers

have been injecting hyluronic acid into their penises. All right, you're good, man. What? For what? You know a flying squirrels work, try? When you, they hold up their wings and their flaps?

okay so with this stuff makes your dick do that fucking the idea the idea the idea I think is that when they're fitted for their suits they make their dicks bigger so it creates more like a like more like more so the dick's not necessarily big when they're jumping I don't think but like it adds like more fabric in the crotch area so it adds more like lift for them like let me read here from this article

um uh this is so understand the idea this is the second similar scandal the ski jumping's had so um the couple last year i think uh norway ski uh last year norway skiing team was called manipulating their suits to get an edge by adding a band form of stitching to the groin region to increase the suit surface area so so the suit can't you can't artificially increase the surface area of your suit for aerodynamic reasons or whatever but they can't make a law against packing heat right Right. And if you know, if you've got a hammer, you're going to need a bigger suit.

So you got to do anything you can to, yeah, hammer up your hog. Okay. Yeah. As for the advantage this would give, a study published in the journal frontiers in October found that every two centimeter increase in roughly three quarters of an inch in suit circumference increased lift by 4% including an extra two feet going to ski jump. So the difference between like 50th place in the gold medal. is injecting hydrolog acid into your dick. Modern day athletics is truly insane. Like the levels and everybody's at, the standards and stuff, and the constant searching to find an edge

and where that leads you to now, i.e. injecting acid into your dick, pretty wild. Think back to the varsity blue scandal, which is like the best way to backdoor your kid into college is by making them good at some obscure sport where they can get on the team and therefore get admission

without having been to school's academic standards. We're going to have 10th graders injecting hydrolog acid into their dicks when a high school ski jump meet and get into Harvard. Yeah. Like the real solution and stuff is for us to stop caring so much about shit.

Like nobody's cheating at other Olympic, like Olympic, like it's not, if you just, don't care whether your kid gets into Harvard. You don't have to fucking inject shit into it. You know what I'm saying? Like we're scared. We need to be more chill as a goddamn society.

Uh-huh. Yeah. Oh, shit. So a couple of scandals already in the Olympics, even though they'll be going on for like a weekend. The opening ceremony, of course, people thought it was Titanic. Really can't just use red lights in any sort of ceremony anymore.

I would advise people not to do that, no red lighting. Yeah, but it's in Italy. and that's one of their colors. It's also one of our colors, I would note. We use a lot of red. I feel like. Yeah, you can't have the color of tomato sauce in an Italian ceremony.

Right. It does have me Satan's work. I'm not that familiar with this tenets of Satanism, but what would be the advantage of doing a satanic ritual and open an Olympic opening ceremony? Who's out of four? Well, I would imagine the spaghetti people are praying to Satan to, you know, bless their athletes

in the upcoming games, Mark. you know, sacrifice some chickens, goats, and virgins, whatever, maybe climb up the medal count a little bit, probably what they got going on. That's just a guess. Spaghetti people are in league with Satan. We always knew it.

Jay Davis over there, the Olympic committee put a very public request for everyone attending the opening ceremonies to not booed Jadie Vance and immediately what happened was he got very loudly booed at the opening ceremony. The Czech broadcast made fun of his liner, that hit for me.

Jay, just a real goodwill tour. His motorcade, he took way, much larger motorcade and vice presidents usually have for whatever reason, getting around the streets and Belon, isn't it easy for him? So he clogged up traffic. He made American team late for an event where they didn't get to warm up, and they only came in second instead of first. So he cost the America gold medal by causing traffic jam. That's classic ham.

He was watching, I forget what a video was. watching, but he was sitting next to to Jake Paul. He had Jake Paul sitting between him and his wife, Usha. He'd rather talk to Jake Paul than his wife. Yep.

His pregnant wife, with their fourth child. Yeah, everything seems peachy with those two. Since the Eric and Kirk stuff. Yeah. Do you notice that like Usha, Carolyn Levitt, and some other

mega person all got pregnant around the same time like they're having a baby don't have a baby boom in the White House? So Jake Paul was asked about some Olympic athletes speaking out about political stuff and basically did the shut up and escape thing. We'll also criticizing Bad Bunny while he's a boxer and I just want to point

out like well he's shitting on Bad Bunny for being Puerto Rican out loud Jake Paul moved to Puerto Rico to save income taxes. So if if Bad Bunny's not a real American then I don't know what Jake Paul is. So as far as the actual, the person he's talking about, it was an Olympic athlete by the name of Hunter Hess said this, okay?

He said, I talk about represent the United States right now. Quote, I think if it aligns with my moral values, I feel like I'm representing it. Just because I'm wearing the flag doesn't mean I represent everything that's going on in the U.S. So yeah, I just kind of want to do it for my friends and my family and the people that supported me getting here. Did he mention anything specific, Trey? No. Not that I heard. so Donald Trump apparently heard about this and said

U.S. Olympic skier Hunter Hess is a real, real loser says he doesn't represent his country, yada, yada, yada, yada. So Hunter Hess was like, something vaguely sucks in America, and Trump was like, not me. Right. Yeah, no, I mean, I don't, you know, it feels like, I mean, that's not that far off from just a sort of standard athlete, like, kind of, PR trained almost non-answer really. Do you know what I mean? I'm just like hey you know some stuff's great some stuff not so much

it's just gonna go out there and give it 110% or whatever like yeah because it's not like you said he didn't specify he didn't say anything about ice or you know I mean hell for all we know he could love all that shit and he hates bad bunny man the halftime performer or whatever

that's not what he doesn't you know want to represent I'm sure it's not but it could be you don't know because he didn't say anything so there was a cross-country skier who peed fuck ice into the snow and put a post a picture of it on Instagram that's at least a direct message but I don't think he was I forget he was American I don't think he was

but anyway USA figure skater Amber Glenn said this quote it's been a hard time for the community overall under this administration and a maga implored to the name Colin Rugg was like she failed to give any examples like she's being a dumb bitch or whatever but she's a figure skater and they're all gay immigrants

so like I just Also, here's the thing, Colin, I want you to try to remember as far back as a year ago when a huge chunk of the Team USA figure skating team died in a plane crash because the administration was flying a military helicopter around DC transporting VIPs. You killed her friends. Yeah, I forgot. It was figure skaters specifically.

Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty wild. So, yeah, I think she might have a little bit of, she might have specifics in my mind. line, Colin. I just want to say that. So, yeah. All right. Next up, honorable mention for Daily Dumbass, the rest of us for not realizing Epstein's lunch table was for the cool kids.

This is Lady Victoria Hervey, an ex-girlfriend of former Prince Andrew. He knew everybody that was very powerful. So, like, if you were on the scene and you were powerful, like, to be honest, like, if you're not in those files, it would

be an insult because it just means that you were a bit of a loser. Right. So the people who aren't in the files. Yes. Yes. Okay. Good. Who media trains these people, Trey? Yeah, I wanted to talk a little to do some follow-up as like, you know, people are still going through the Epstein files and filing stuff and talk about what consequences look like or what they don't look like.

Because they're apparently going to be none in the United States. We'll talk about the rest of the world in a minute. But if you're wondering who Lady Victoria Hervey is besides being the ex-girlfriend of Prince Andrew, she was a contestant of Love Island. she also appeared with some other reality show and the condition that her dog be allowed into Austria. Yeah, that's second part. Yeah, but she's exactly what you think.

Yeah, but that second part is very on the nose for someone with the, you know, a lady title. But it's wild that there's British Royals on reality TV shows or nobles, whatever the fuck they're called, aristocrats on reality TV shows now, you know, feels like a pretty good sort of symbol or metaphor for the era that we live in. you know.

I mean, it's just always important to remember that, like, the reason, the sensible reason for the Revolutionary War is because we were tired of being rude by, ruled by a cabal of hereditary wealthy perverts. They weren't we find ourselves. It's like the natural state of the world is being ruled by hereditary wealthy perverts. Right. Yeah. So, Lady Victoria once suggested that a photo showing Prince Andrew with Virginia Jeffrey,

was, had been faked with body doubles. After Virginia killed herself, Harvey sparked outraged by sharing a link to the news of her death on social media with the comment. When lies catched up to you, there's no way out. So just all around piece of shit. Yeah, she's a real ride or die, huh? Do you know what kind of, do you know her, so she's lady Victoria Hervey? Is she like, she can't be too much a hot shit if she was on Love Island, right? I mean, in the hierarchy of mid.

dukes and vicarps and all that shit they got going on. You say that when you're dating a prince, you're auditioning to be led into the royal family, so she must be pretty up there, right? So Thomas Massey was on a Republican congressman from Kentucky who was instrumental

in force and releasing of these files. Was on a Sunday show yesterday. It was asked about Howard Lucknick, Trump's Commerce Secretary, being revealed to be a huge liar in the Epstein files. This is what he had to say about it. Trump's Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnik said that he and his wife decided around 2005 to cut ties with Jeffrey Epstein. But the latest release shows that there was some correspondence after that, even after Epstein pleaded guilty for sex crimes in 2008.

What questions do you have about Lutnik's ties to Epstein and should he come before Congress and testify? No, he should just resign. I mean, there's three people in Great Britain that have resigned in politics. the ambassador from Great Britain for the United States, the prince lost his title for less than what we've seen Howard Lutnik fly about. All right, go ahead. Thomas Massey remains a fascinating character to me.

So as soon as the day the Epstein files dropped, the three Israel supporting billionaires who were out to get him, dropped another $800,000 into his primary race to try to defeat him, which is really funny to me because, like, I haven't seen anybody with stake in the game, say for sure they think that Epstein was an agent of Israeli government. But every time more information comes out of it, the people who support Israel the most act absolutely like he was a Mossad agent.

Do you know what I'm saying? Right. It's utterly bizarre. Like, so, like, Massey for his part was like basically said, if I lose because of this, so be it. Right. Which is like, I disagree with him about pretty much everything. Yeah. But at least somebody's willing to lose their seat over doing the right fucking thing.

Right. And I don't, I mean, you know, could be wrong, but I really doubt that he will, don't you? I mean, I feel like it, I would think it would help him, you know. If he's in a district where he can win in the first place, doing all this shit, I feel like would only be a boon to your future prospects. But, you know, who the hell knows more? The only material thing, like he's like, he's anti-woke, but he's also super green, like super into green. energy stuff. Like, he's the only Republican who drives a Tesla for environmental reasons.

Anyway, he's, he's, he's missing a lot of the redacted names. The Department of Justice doesn't. So I hope the lizard people's car accident staging team is still at the top of their game because I have Thomas Massey be checking my breaklines regularly right now. Across the pond, as the people say, the consequences that Massey was referring to, there's a few different scandals related to Peter Mendelsohn's a few different scandals related to Peter Mendelsohn's former ambassador to the Trump White House. And these aren't even sexual, although this picture is funny.

If you got this picture, Matt, this is coming out in the Epstein files. This is Middelson, who, for context, is gay. So there's nothing sexual going on with the girl in this picture, I don't think. Just look at a room service menu and a t-shirt and his tidy white. He's winning the pooing it. That's from Epstein's Place. Paris. What, okay, what was he, what was his position or whatever at the time that that happened?

I know you say it was the British ambassador, but that I assume was years ago if that was, Epstein was still alive and whatever else. He's the Labor Party official. I'm not sure what his job was at that point, but I think he was in the House of Lords. He's a, this guy that is under tidy whitey, again, Winnie the Poohing in a French hotel room is a, is a lord. Another lord, another humanitarian wealthy pervert. So the scandals laid to Peter Mendelsohn involved a 2008, back in the 2008 financial crisis bailout. He was given insider trading information to Jeffrey Epstein.

There was also a 240 million pound contract gifted to Palantir with no competition after Mendelsohn and Starber had an off-the-books meeting with Peter Thiel and Palantir. That was at a time when Mandelsohn owned part of a lobbying firm that works for Palantir. Again, it's always fucking money, dude. and the other head of the lobbying firm by the guy with the name of Benjamin Weg Prosser has also announced his resignation and connected with this scandal

just Benjamin Wigg we got Lord Peter Mendelsoen Benjamin Wigg Prosser keep waiting for Lord Pickles to show up in here when that hasn't yet I can't believe Lord Pickles isn't in the Epstein files

maybe yeah too much integrity Lord Pickles has obviously or I don't know maybe he was you know it was more what lady whatever the fuck her name was just a second ago

lady Victoria was saying, you know, Lord Pickles desperately wanted to get the invite, but just couldn't, you know, couldn't swing it. He didn't, you said Lord Pickles relish the opportunity, right? There it is. There it is. Yeah, it is. Fucking, it's funny to get taken down by the Epstein files, but not have any of it be any kind of like perversion or whatever, because, like, you know he's got to be. It just feels like the rest of his life is just going to be, just so everybody's clear. It wasn't like any of that, you know.

Just like you're always clarifying for people. It's like, yes, I was in the Epstein file. Yes, I was disgraced by it. But not what you're thinking, okay? I just, it was corrupt bribery stuff. Who among us, you know? Guys, I am just a war criminal. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. All right, we'll talk about the continuing fall on the UK. after this. We get to take a quick break. All right. All right. This week's episode of Weekly's Q's is brought to you by Zbiotics. Woo, how about that Super Bowl, eh? Kind of sucked, right? Super Bowl halftime show, though. That was fun, I thought.

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that's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P-Betterhelp.com slash S-K-E-W-S. BetterHelp. com slash skews. 10% off when you sign up today. Well, we're back. All right. All right. So Morgan McSweeney resigned.

He was Prime Minister, Keir-Starmers, Chief of Staff. He was trying to take the blame for Middelson being appointed to Ambassador to the United States because Keir-Starvers facing growing calls for him for Kier Starmor to step down, which means like another Labor Party official would take over as Prime Minister. It's a big setback for, that'd be like a, you know,

Kier Starmer is like a plain flavorless oatmeal was a person, so if he gets forced out, it'd be a big setback for gormless dipshits who believe in nothing all over the world. A year ago, when Middleton was appointed, you and I joked about how the whole reason he was appointed was because Trump and Medelson were both friends with Jeffrey Epstein.

Right. and now McSweeney is resigning saying that Keir Starrmer had no idea that Piedel Mendelsohn was friends with Jeffrey Epstein when we knew it

right yeah how could he possibly have not known it I have never been to the UK I am not the prime minister of the United Kingdom you got out of the fall guy or whatever in situations like this

a guy that will willingly be thrown under the bus in exchange for something you know right closed doors and talking about how if you're not in those files or losers, the entire British political establishment is going to be connected to this in some way. Here's a picture of Lady Victoria Hervey with Nigel Farange, right? Yeah, everybody's in there.

We're all losers. As for the consequences being suffered here in the United States, I think the most significant one so far is that Elon's brother was forced off the Burning Man board? That's a shame. I think that, man, where did I hear that? I think that I heard recently that one of the dudes, I don't know. I'll say something that's probably wrong,

but it was something like one of the guys who was like a creative director at Burning Man is also now one of the guys behind the Portland Frogs or something. Okay. Yeah, I don't know. It does feel like it makes sense,

but I don't know if that's true and I also don't remember where I heard that, but you just said Elon's brother. It's funny that Burning Man Bored had that guy and also Kimball, right? That's a thing, Kimball Musk on it. Yeah.

that that's what he occupies his time with, shit like that. Yeah, Kimball's an email from Jeffrey Epstein says something like, I gave a new girl to Kimball and he loved it. Called a girl,

yeah, after giving it. I don't know what that. You can choose, you can choose to believe whatever you want about what that email means. But, like,

the funny thing to me about Kimmel being forced up the board of Burning Man is like, you're not really allowed to be a pervert at Burning Man. It's fucking required. Yeah. It's like,

mom, come pick me up. I've been canceled from the pervert party. if you wonder what Kendall looks like Look at this fucking Dingus Like look at this idiot and this cowboy He's wearing a crushed velvet sport coat

And a cowboy hat In some event I want Oh god These people He is better looking than Elon though still So that's funny to me too It's funny

Yeah I mean it kind of tracks Like Elon's got like some dipshit younger brother Who just like You know Fucks off around the world doing silly shit all the time, but it's also a piece of shit

and a pervert and, you know. You're saying is Elon's Johnny Drama? Yeah, right. Yes, exactly. Yes. One of the takeaways, like, after absorbing all these, Epstein was definitely a creature of the Silicon Valley fascist movement.

It's one of his many agendas that's continued and thrived without him. New York Times went through all of his, all the emails, and found a bunch of connections between his finances. He was an early investor in companies like Palantir, Coinbase, Bitcoin, possibly SpaceX. Jason Calcanus wrote on Twitter, I barely knew him, but he was everywhere.

He added that quote, his interest in me was probably because I was an angel investor in technology startups. My reading, like his interesting technology really took off after his first arrest in 2008, likely due to the fact his Google search results in Wikipedia, listed him as a sex offender. He was very, like, he was very interested in the Occupy Wall Street movement, followed it very closely. I just wanted to point out, we talked about how he met with the guy who ran 4chan.

We talked about last week. 4chan was a hub for organizing anonymous activity during Occupy Wall Street. And also I want to point out that the company that Lutnik and Epstein started together in 2012

was a digital advertising firm called AdFIN Solutions, which is, you know, connects to his larger interest in tracking, manipulating internet activity, right? Ashton was also really interested in Pokemon Go,

Trey? Yeah. Well, who wasn't at the time, Mark? You know, kind of took us all by storm, I feel like. Yeah, but he was interested in it for like the conspiratorial reasons. Like, I think everybody who was like, you know, 104 Hattie was like, I think the purpose of Pokemon Go was to make a bunch of roobes geo-map the world for you to help missile targeting software, which of course turned out to be reality. But Epstein clocked it fucking immediately. Yeah. Well, that makes sense when you're like, you know, when you do shit like that or hope. up orchestrate shit like that. It's what we probably saw it and was like, damn, I wish I thought of that. Yeah,

everything you'd be doing, everything we've all been doing in our phones last 20 years is training robots to hunt and kill us. I see everyone, every time you, they put your face, upload your face to any sort of app

to use a filter. Like, it's all like, yeah, yeah. So anyway, they use email and Deepak Shoper about, about Pokemon Go in 2016. So, yeah.

I was going to say, like, the Silicon Valley has got a great sense of timing. there was a march for billionaires in a park in Silicon Valley over the weekend I guess trying to get attention because the Super Bowl was there as well throw this picture up if you got it Matt from the March for Billionaires Property rights or human rights this person's holding up this sign her t-shirt shows a picture of a woman centaur and it says I'm in a pollicule with

a with a la tray you know who takes all kinds I guess yeah there are people upside saying like, like, we love you, Jeffrey, according to Bezos, but doesn't become a Gilman Cron. It's kind of tenured in Jeffrey Epstein universe. So, do you know what Ala is, right? No, absolutely not. Well, I regret to inform you that I do, so I'm not to tell you about her.

She is a runaway from a religious fundamentalist household who became a camgirl than a sex worker who's become like an influencer on Silicon Valley. She basically organized sex parties for the, for the tech bros. She's kind of like Dr. Ruth for people with Asperker's syndrome. Okay. She's adjacent to the rashless movement. She's in the wing that thinks AI is going to kill us all. She's kind of like a borderline zizian.

Remember the zizian cult we talked about? Is she also half horse? No. Okay. But she did organize a big gang bang for her 32nd birthday in 2024, which she memorialized with the flowchart. how many people she had sex with and what they did to her. So, yeah. That old chestnut.

You really want to make a chart with a bunch of your gang bang when you live in Silicon Valley. It's a very Silicon Valley thing to do. Yeah. Was the gangbang app going to come out? I'm sure it probably already exists. I think it does actually. It's not exclusively gangbangs, but I know that there's like a dating app for like, you know,

fetishy shit, you know, so you can find whatever on there. Oh, there's got to be. It's going to be a dating app for swingers. Let's set that kind of stuff on it. But yeah, so you're talking about, like, it got another very own point thing in here. Got a very important RFK Jr. thing in here. Apparently, RFK Jr. with hunting for dinosaur bones,

the Dakotas with Jeffrey Epstein and Galane and Maxwell. So glad Nicholas Cage wasn't on that trip. It feels like he could have had something he could have easily been roped into at the time. It would be a real shame. I think he was, I think that was during his dinosaur bones era as well. Maybe they were competing dinosaur bones hunters, though. These were like his rivals that he didn't like. I want to see that movie.

Anyway, go ahead. Well, IFK usually eats the weird animals that he catches, but there's no meatlet of dinosaur bones. So I'm assuming he's just fucking a dinosaur bone. So, RFK actually talked about this during the campaign, so it wasn't like some secret, but it resurfaced on this Epstein stuff.

stuff. What's hilarious about it to me is that the White House apparently didn't figure this out when they vetted him. Because when Todd Blanche was interviewing Galane Maxwell, she mentioned it and apparently caught him off card. She said, she said of Epstein, Bobby Kennedy knew him. And Blanche said, sorry, say it again about Bobby Kennedy. Bobby knew Mr. Epstein, she replied. How do you know that? said Blanche, who was previously Trump's personal attorney. Because we went on a trip together. We went dinosaur bone hunting in the Dakotas. you can like almost hear just read the transcript of this from the uh this of this meaning you can almost hear the curb your enthusiasm music playing and Todd Blanche's head yeah

the trip actually took place in South Dakota on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation where collecting fossils on reservation land without explicit permission is considered looting so Blanche had to go back to the White House and be like well if the kid stuff isn't bad enough we've also disturbed an ancient Indian burial ground I know, that's what I was thinking. You were like, well, why would he go hunt dinosaur bones? You know, you can't eat dinosaur bones. Maybe he's shoving them up his ass or whatever.

And yeah, maybe that's part of it. But also then you get to this part. And it's like, oh, okay, it's also like, you know, defiles sacred Indian ground or whatever. So you can see, you can start to see where some of the appeal would come from for these people. You know, you've got to, like, check enough horrible boxes to make them interested in doing a thing, you know. So, we're talking around the, I don't, I don't love talking about the, the core of this story, which is the child sex abuse.

Yeah. I do want to say, yeah, I've seen all the weird references. They use the word snack a lot in emails. They also talk about going to the dentist, way more than anyone would go to the dentist. Obviously, a lot of people think this is a valid language, but I see a lot of people would think that, but also sometimes they straight up say, I'll give you a girl, so I don't know what they possibly using coded language by

but yeah I've also seen the I saw the translated diary of a 16 year old girl was in a lawsuit where she talks about giving birth

to Epstein's child I just want to say I have no idea of the resolution of that lawsuit there's also another lawsuit deposition in there

it's a lawyer is questioning another one of Epstein's victims but his client is suing the estate and the girl that the lawyer is

questioning pleased the fifth for 101 straight pages. Let me read an exchange here for you. Are you aware of the reports about you indicate you were brought to the United States by Jeffrey Epstein when you're roughly 13 or 14 years old

to be his Yugoslavian lesbian sex slave? The fifth. You did in fact engage in sexual activity with EW that's his client when she was only 16 years old. Isn't that true? The fifth. Are you aware that Jeffrey Epstein reads books and how to be a proper master to his sex slave? The fifth. Of all the different

failures for society in here, elite impunity, inability to regulate tech as a fucking spirals out of control. You know, we need a new way to do the system of justice because why is another one of Epstein's victims

having to plead the Fifth Amendment to avoid testifying on behalf of one of his other victims because she lives in fear of being prosecuted which is what would happen to her in our system of justice. Right.

All the people want to crack down on sex trafficking, what would they end up doing is putting the children in jail for being prostitutes. Right. Which obviously disincentivizes them from, you know,

everyone in the time forward. Justice. forward, yeah, right, or seek justice or anything, yeah. Yeah, we talked last week about how Jeffrey Epstein being the force gump of every horrible event of the past 25 years. So, like, I understand where it gets very, you know, conspiratorial because there's just a lot of fucking coincidences in here. Let me read two of them before you try. Epstein was working on Las Vegas real estate development project directly across the street from Mandalay Bay. Like at the time?

Like, at the hotel where Stephen Paddock would carry out the daily smash. shooting in American history in 2017. No motive for the shooting was ever found. Because there were people would be like, well, he was Jeffrey Epstein trying to drive down the property values? Yeah, there's a lot. There aren't there, you've been knowing about conspiracy theories and stuff. There's a lot about that guy and that event, right?

Aren't they? Aren't there? Because, like, it is the deadliest mass shooting in American history and, like, very little is known about it. And it kind of faded away. I mean, they all fade away because I knew what happens every fucking second week or whatever. But I don't know. There's like weird shit

that guy in there. It faded away because there's no political, there's no bigger tribe to hang it on. So even the conspiracy theories are kind of vary in the weeds because like, you know,

there's not even a way to blame it on like Israel or like the, the detail. Now. Jeff, there you go. Now we have a sense through which to make it make sense.

But like the best, the best, the best idea I've seen for the guy's motive is he'd lost a bunch of money but wasn't being comped and wasn't being treated like a whale. Yeah, a bit of an overreaction. Right. It's just so petty.

It's like, but again, like, what do you want a sane response from a guy who killed 50 people at a country music concert? Right. Right. So like, all right. So another one of these weird coincidences,

according to a September 18th, 2018 email thread, EFstein met with Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia Mohammed bin Salman. Two days later, Washington Post columnist Jamal Khashou. he was murdered inside the Saudi consulate in Istanbul.

I mean, yeah, it's fucking, but shit is wild, dude. Everything about it is super wild. He's like the typhoid mirror of what weird deaths and tragedies. Like, it's like,

admit of him, he has the world's worst fucking luck. But like, like, all this stuff, if it's not conspiracy theory, it goes in the, like,

a category of rumors and gossip, but like, just to understand how we got here, rumors and gossip were how all this jumped off. If it wasn't for rumors and gossip, like, what got the original investigation into Jeffrey Epstein started was two girls in a high school in South Florida got in a fist fight because one called the other one a

whore. When adults look into it, one of the moms found $300 in her daughter's purse, and the daughter lied and said she got it working a secret job at Chick-Fillet when it turns out she'd been paid by Jeffrey Epstein. So if it wasn't for kids gossiping this high school and calling each other whores and getting into fist fights, there never would have been any legal consequences. How, I mean, how did it take that long for something like that to. happened. Do you know what I mean? If something that kind of random and seemingly common

or whatever could be the impetus for this whole thing, it's wild that it didn't happen before that, you know? I mean, that's the core conspiracy here around it. So how was this guy who was so clumsy at doing all this stuff, able to get away with it for so long, an open view of so many of

people that run our fucking country? Right. If you're too stupid to know that Jeffrey Epstein was a pedophile, you're too stupid to be the fucking president, even if you didn't do anything wrong. Right. So the funniest conspiracy theory, and this is deeply weird, okay, but it doesn't make any sort of sense. You think about it for half a second. So one of the things in the Epstein follows is a press statement written up by the U.S.

Attorney's Office for Southern District of New York about Jeffrey Epstein's death announcing it that was dated Friday, August 9th, 2019, when Epstein didn't die until Saturday the 10th. Right. So I just like, this, this conspiracy. I want to be like, okay, we got to loop into PR people a day ahead of time. Like, I don't think that's how it would work. But like, the press release is the key to the whole operation guys. We really got to get the press office in a bit. Like, to believe this conspiracy theory, you've got to be like,

I don't trust the government at all, but they'd never get the date wrong on a form. Right. Yeah, it's like you said, what makes more sense, the idea that they just fucked up the date at the time. Or, yeah, they were like, all right, we got the press release ready for this, right? We need to be on top of this when, you know, before it happens. Doesn't make much sense. No, it really doesn't.

All right, so I keep mentioning, like, the thing I find fascinating about all this is, like, how many of Jeffrey Epstein's, like, plots and schemes kept going after he was gone, right? Not just the tech stuff. And we talked about, like, Tony Blair being put in charge of Gaza, which was his idea, yada, yada, yada. So I want to mention this guy, the name is Sultan bin Suuilla. He's an Emirati Sultan.

He sent this message to Jeffrey Epstein in 2012. I was talking about the level of moron and kind of misogynistic operators we got going on here. The world's elite. The pedophile elites talk just like your dad's divorced friends, okay? Here's an email from Ben Suuilum.

Every married man keeps wondering every evening should I go out and look at what I cannot fuck or stay home and fuck what I don't want to look at. Classy. Yeah. Take my harem, please. Yeah. So one of the things that Epstein was emailing was emailing with Sultan bin Suleum about was he's one of the, uh, about this is about Somaliland, all right? For context, Suleum is one of the most powerful businessmen in the Emirates. He's currently helping lead a to push or recognize the new state of Somaliland. As emails from Epstein show his longstanding

interest in Somaliland, including discussions the year before his death of Suleum, about recognition of the territories and an independent state. There was a pitch deck in the document dump about the international community recognizing Somaliland. It appears to be sent by Sulean to Jeffrey Epstein. One of the things he wanted to do

was start like an African Hollywood, which they called Somaliwood in Somaliland. Let me quote here from another guy emailing him. We could build a small studio in Somaliland and call it Somaliwood Studios. We could do Sesame Street type stuff, including children's programming for African kids, I think it would be fun, fun, fun.

So, yeah, I don't think Jeffrey Epstein starting an African Sesame Street would really be fun. So just Sunday, Super Bowl Sunday, quote this headline, Somalia's Muhammad slams Israel's interference, rejects base on Somaliland. Like, not that anybody needs to follow, like, you know, West African politics closer or whatever. But, like, Somaland's been basically operating as an independent state in Somalia since the Civil War and the North. 90s. It functions separately. The international community just doesn't recognize it because when you start recognizing a bunch of breakaway republics, the rules, the international rules that it prevented World War III sort of fall away.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, right. So it's technically part of Somalia? Yeah. Legally, it's part of Somalia, but it has its own government, has its own army, yada, yada, yada, everybody just lets it be as a state of being. But, yeah, Emily, but Israel wants to build a military base there. An exclusive interview with Al Jazeera broadcast on Saturday, Muhammad, says Somalia, quote, will never allow the establishment of an Israeli base in Somalian

and will confront any such move. Let's go back to December here. Israel recognized Somaliland as an independent state became the first country to do so. So, yeah, officials in wider context here. Officials in Mogadish have been critical of Trump over stuff going in Minnesota, which, of course, is because of Somalis that live there. Right. So I'm trying to say like Trump's obsession with Somalia is, and the elite's obsession with Somalia,

it is not just about welfare fraud in Minneapolis. Okay. So it's because Israel wants a base in Somaliland to help, you know, extend their defensive footprint in the region or whatever the hell. And for that to happen, they need Somalia to come to heal and or release Somaliland. and that type of thing. So that's what the interest in Somaliland is about. They're trying to help Israel. It all comes back to Israel, Mark, every time.

Israel wants to build a military base there to make it easier for them to strike the Houthis in Yemen. Yeah. And the American Republicans and Congress want to build a base there because they want a bigger one in West Africa than the world we currently have, which is in Djibouti. All right. It's also worth noting all the dumb stuff going on.

I think everybody here probably knows about the Georgia raid. where they took a bunch of FBI, took a bunch of ballots under Tulsa Gabbard's supervision. It's worth noting that the core of this conspiracy theory, it was brought to the White House by a woman who went by several aliases, including, quote, the heiress and was known in the Pentagon for ties to Somali pirates. So we've also, we as in the United States, have dramatically escalated airstrikes in Somalia under Trump this year. We've conducted 111 air strikes against armed groups since Trump returned office. Senior U.S. Navy admiral said the United States had carried out what was, quote, the largest air strike in the history of the world from an aircraft carrier. This military campaign is against Al Shabab,

who is the terrorist group or militant group that Trump administration claims is being fundled the money from the Minneapolis, the Minnesota welfare fraud. So again, this is one of those things which keeping track of all the things they're doing makes you stupider. Right. Yeah, so I want to show you this map here if you're wondering what the region looks like because I hope, you know, war is Americans way of TV?

teaching American's geography. If you call up here, you see where Somalia sits. It's across the strait between the Red Sea and the Gulf of Aden. And across the Gulf, you'll see Yemen with Saudi Arabia to the north. And then comes Jordan and Israel. So a few months ago, a number of news outlets reported that Israel had contacted Somaland over the potential resettlement of Palestinian sources removed from Gaza. So that's part of the plan too.

And both Somalia and the Palestinian Authority have suggested Israel's recognition of Somaliland could be linked to a plan to displaced Palestinians. In response to Israel's declaration recognizing Somaliland, Trump was asked about it. And he said, quote, does anyone know where, what Somaland is really? He reportedly said. So I'm like, I don't understand anything our fucking government is doing. And Donald Trump's like, that makes two of us. Yeah, it's hard to keep up with.

Unless you're Jeffrey Epstein's ghost. obviously still running. Still running the show from beyond the veil. All right. Well, that'll do it for us this week. Thank you guys for watching. We appreciate you. Real quick, if you like to see me do

stand-up, comedy, live, and in person, please go to Trey Crowder.com and check out my upcoming tour dates. I'm in Birmingham this week and Atlanta the week after that and a bunch of other places the rest of the year. All at Treycrowder.com. Check out producer Matt's audio exclusive called Good Skews, Good People Doing Good Things. Nice Pallet Clemser.

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and type my name in the search bar there for more information. Either way, you keep watching this. We'll keep pumping them out, I reckon. We'll see you next time. Love you by. Scoo!