Weekly Skews - Weekly Skews 1/25/22 – Candy-Coated Controversy

Episode Date: January 26, 2022

This week we talk about the latest in an endless line of laughably absurd and completely made up conservative controversies: sexy candy and reverse racism. These people are truly somethin’ else. Also “World War III” was trending yesterday, so that’s good. All that and more on this Skewsday.Support the show

Howdy there, y'all, welcome back and happy skews day to you. It is January 25th, 2022. I'm Trey Crowder, and that's Mark. A.G., what's up, Mark? What's up, Trey? And if you saw today's big political news, Nancy Pelosi, now she's going to run again at the age of 81. I guess she really hates her fucking grandkids is my only takeaway. I never want to see my family again.

And J.D. Vance got the coveted Marjorie Taylor Green endorsement. I don't get that MTG bump. That's right. Yeah. He tweeted that we're going to team up to take down the scumbags. So J.D. Vans, I'm like a tough guy. It's so fucking funny to me. Anyway, Josh Mandel's still going to kick his ass, so it doesn't even matter.

Yeah, I was going to ask if there had been any, I know that the last time he talked about it, he wasn't fairing too awfully well in that particular race. and anything changed on that front? I haven't looked at it they're polling recently. Let me take it real quick. I don't think so. I mean, what would make,

he was like trailing by a bunch. I don't know what would make him be able to come back. The MTV bump, of course. That's what. Yeah. And yeah, Nancy Pelosi, she's 82 years old. I cannot imagine wanting to do anything, let alone that job at 82.

I guess you just, I don't know. that people all the people in power they never ever want to walk away must be intoxicated must be something too that whole power deal mark it must uh really be something because nobody ever wants to give any semblance of it up have you ever uh yeah saw somebody say it was a bad idea and then a bunch people on twitter calling them ages so we're in a good place um right do you do you read the sci-fi book series foundation or the apple tv plus series based No, I know what it is. It's one of those things that's like I've always meant to read and just have it.

And I love sci-fi, too. So it's a glaring omission, but no, I haven't. So the central premise is the, the space empire is run by genetic dynasty of clones. This guy's been cloning himself for 400 years and there's like, he'll age out of retirement. There's three of them at any point. There's a baby being trained to be the leader. There's the emperor. And then there's the retired emperor who's like there for advice and counsel or whatever.

Anyway, the big climatic moment, the first episode of the pilot, is the scientists telling them how why they're failing and society's dying is because there have been no new ideas or new blood and leadership for 400 years. Anyway, just potting them ahead for no reason. Yeah, no reason at all. Doesn't seem particularly relevant, but yeah, you're just throwing it out there. Yeah, no, man, I don't know. And just, yeah, people making decisions for the future that have less of a future than most of the rest of us, just statistically speaking. So I just, I'm not saying we can't have no octogenarians in Congress ever, I guess, although I don't know, maybe there should be some kind of age limit.

But we should just have more not super old people in Congress as well, you know, diverse representation perhaps, more than like four that are around our age, you know, would be nice. Especially a leadership class that takes loss after loss after loss after loss after loss. It's not like they have like, it's not like Bill Belichick refusing to retire. It'd be like, I don't know, whoever, the Raiders interim coach refusing to retire. Yeah. Yeah, well, what are you going to do?

Anyway, we're here and with us, as always, is producer Matt. This is weekly skews. First off, if you were vaccinated, want to see me live, you can go to well-read comedy.com for tickets. It will be in Indianapolis this weekend, then a lot of fun places after. that as well. We hope to see y'all out there. Now, on the show tonight, we're going to discuss the latest in a seemingly endless line of completely absurd and totally made up conservative controversies, namely sexy candy and reverse racism. Now, I know the latter has been around for a while, but they've put a fresh new spin on it this time, and it is all, you guessed it, COVID-19.

Also, World War III was trending yesterday, so 2022 is off to a rollicking start. We will touch on the deal with Russia and Ukraine a little later. But along the way, we've got some fun stuff for you, beginning as always, with the Daily Dumbass. Matt, graphic, please. Now, tonight's honorary, and what I think may be the first time in skews history, was actually not selected by any one of us here at the skews.

No, tonight's D-D comes straight from the White House. That's right, because the dumbass of the day today is, according to Joe Biden, Fox News is Peter Ducey. May I play that clip? That's a great asset. More inflation. What a stupid son of a bitch. This is the part of Biden that really is.

me is like he occasionally forgets he is a hot mic. I mean, maybe he doesn't care. He's a hot mic, but he just like, he says swear words like a normal person. And so he, so if you can't quite make it out because Ducey's not miced up because it's not a press availability. It was just a presidential proclamation or not for whatever. And they yelled questions at him from, you know, way in the back, which is they, you know, they do a lot. But so the question he asked was, do you think inflation is a political liability in the midterms? And what he said was, no, it's a great asset more inflation what a stupid son of a bitch that's a great response to that question that's a really stupid question like you know a stupid stupid question gets a stupid answer it's what they say yeah

i just i really like uh hearing the president call someone who i also feel to be a stupid son of a bitch a stupid son of a bitch and you know just does it for me i mean i made a video about this today and i'm saying like you know they got incense talking about how he's he's the most negative president toward the media ever, which is laughable considering how Trump was with the media, obviously, but they just always get all pearl clutchy about decorum and shit. Anytime a Democrat is anything like this. And then they turn around and fucking, you know, get a cardboard cut out of Kamala Harris and flip it off and call it names and shit and put it posted on Twitter and do all kinds of

wild stuff. So I'm all for it. We're a bunch of, it's weird because like we think of like British. people's being stuffy and uptight, but they tell their leaders to fuck off to their face. We talked about it before, but we need a queen to do the pomp and circumstance so we can treat our leaders like regular people, and they can argue with us. If you watch Prime Minister's questions, which is like once a week, the Prime Minister has to go to, you know, the Parliament and be straight up fucking heckled and roasted, which is great, and we should have that.

And they also snap back and do your money. It's almost up to the line of your mama so fat jokes. And, like, it's okay to spar with the, like, I don't care. Maybe, like, everyone was getting so goddamn heated about that last night. But one guy said it was the greatest threat to press freedom in our lifetimes. Right. He just called one guy a stupid son of a bitch. Yeah.

And he even backtracked from it. If you got that second video, Matt, this is the part I'd actually bug me is Biden getting less-based. We have some news tonight. After years of clips of the president. by kind of mixing it up on the campaign trail and during the transition and here at the White House, within about an hour of that exchange, he called my cell phone, and he said, it's nothing personal, pal. That's good, though. We went back and forth, and we were talking about...

Yeah, so here's the thing that's not an apology. Saying it's nothing personal is not really, I'm sorry. It's just saying it's not personal, it's an observation that you're a stupid son of a bit. Yeah, right. I know. That's what I thought, too. It's like it's like he's saying it was, you know, it's like, oh, you know, it's just, it's all business. It's just politics is what it is, me calling you a stupid son of a bitch.

It's nothing personal. It's, you're right. It's not the same thing as him saying, like, I shouldn't have said that. I mean, yeah, I wish he would have said nothing at all after this other than just like, yeah, well, you know, maybe he shouldn't have been acting like a stupid son of a bitch. And then maybe I wouldn't have said it. But he should apologize to me, really, for being a stupid son of a bitch. That's how I feel about it. I would prefer that response, but, you know, what are you going to do?

A couple of things about this. One, someone dug up a video of John McCain also asking why he asked such a stupid, stupid fucking question, which is one of the few things John McCain did good in his life is roast that got a death. But if you're wondering how he has that job, his dad is Steve Ducey, who's one of the dumbest people on television on Fox and Friends. So he's the dumbass fail son of an even bigger dumbass. and ain't that america yeah yeah so this is sort of example a exhibit a why everyone hates the washington media one the pearl clutching over a non a nothing incident that's just marginally funny and we all deal with rougher conflicts in our day-to-day life at work and everything all the time we're adults and two the question itself is fucking stupid on a lot of reasons one the answer

is obvious and you can know the president doesn't want it to be more inflation two why are you framing the problem with inflation as if the main thing is the Democrats lose the house? Because that will be a side effect of things like people not being able to afford milk for their kids or tires for their car. Do you know, like that seems like no, it's a very stupid question. Yeah. Because again, like, I mean, exactly what Biden said. It's like, no, it's an asset. You dip shit.

Yeah. Like, of course it is. Why even ask that, you know? Do you have any plan to fight? inflation would be an actual question. Right. Even then, it's like, yeah, we're doing it. We're doing everything we can, but I can't make microchips from China up here.

So I don't know what the fuck to tell you. I can't, we're going to talk about Ukraine later, but I can't make Russia stop holding back natural gas. I can't re-uncollapse Venezuelan society. I can't. These are not things the United States president has a button to push to do. So I don't know. It's how wild. Yeah.

No, well, you know, you're a dumb son of a bitch. So our first honorable mention tonight for Daily Dumbass is actually our wives, Mark and I's Wives, for never once disavowing us on Twitter when they had the opportunity. So Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. did the thing they loved to do so much, and that was compare their situation with mandates to the Holocaust. But we're super hot right now comparing that shit to the Holocaust. And he said, you know, at least in Nazi Germany, you could hide somewhere. Anne Frank in her attic.

So really he's saying, I would argue that Anne Frank had way better than we have it right now with the mandates in this country. It seems to me what he's saying. So anyway, his wife... She's had to stay indoors. We're having to stay indoors. You know, it's pretty pretty much... You could see the parallels there.

His wife, Cheryl Hines from Kerb Your Enthusiasm, then had to take to Twitter to make it clear. She says, my husband's reference to Anne Frank at a mandate rally in D.C. was reprehensible and insensitive. The atrocities that millions endured during the Holocaust should never be compared to anyone or anything. His opinions are not a reflection of my own. I know every relationship, I know every relationship is different, Mark, but like, this is wild to me. Thinking about this, like, dynamic, like, I don't know.

I mean, I've got ex-girlfriends who now will be all up on Facebook trying to recruit people to go to parlor and shit like that. And mostly all I ever think is, buddy, glad I dodged that boy. You know, like, I just,

I feel fortunate that me and Katie mostly agree on shit like this. Because I just, it just seems like you'd always be having to go on Twitter and apologize for their sorry ass if you were married to somebody like that. It just seems like, I don't know. I wouldn't want to, I wouldn't want that.

I don't think. Yeah. I mean, uh, marriage is can survive a lot. of differences. Some people even have interfaith marriages, but disagreeing about Anne Frank seems pretty irreconcilable. Right. That's what I'm saying. If you're not on that part, like that's, it would seem to be a big dividing line to me. Like, you're either with that

or you're not. And if you're not with that, you're pretty damn not with that, you know? Yeah. It just seems like it would come up periodic. Yeah. I don't know what's going on with political dynasties and they extended Curb Your Enthusiasm family, but like, I don't know if you remember, she's married to RFK, but it was Larry David's ex-wife that allegedly broke up Al Gore's marriage.

Oh, yeah. Yes. Yes, yes. Yeah. So, crazy, crazy things going on around there. Yeah, RFK Jr. is a fucking moron, and he's dangerous. And these people love to compare everything to the Holocaust,

except, like, they, they know really about the Holocaust except the big thing, right? It's like, the problem with the Holocaust, the problem with Nazi Germany was not that Anne Frank stayed indoors. It was the reason she was hiding in the first place. Do you know I'm saying? Like, it's like, like,

plus they're a bunch of Holocaust deniers in this movement, so it'd be like, this is just like the Holocaust, which by the way is totally exaggerated. It's like, what the fuck? Yeah. Yeah, no, it doesn't make any sense, but they're like, it's just the persecution complex. they have, you know, and what, you know, there's no higher level to reach for in the, like, persecution Olympics than going to the Holocaust, you know what I mean?

Like, they want to be like, we basically have it just as bad as people in the Holocaust did, and no one's talking about it. Everybody's just, everybody's just fine with what has been done to us. And it's pretty much the Holocaust, if you think about it. Yeah, but they think about it real hard, squish your eyes. Yeah. Yeah, no, they love it. That's like page one of the COVID-Diate dipshit manual, page one, chapter one.

But all right, what we've got next here? Our next honorable mention for Daily Dumbass is other congressmen for not understanding how to multitask. That's right. So Madison Cawthorne, Heil on Wheels, as I call him, was part of a Zoom-based committee meeting about veterans affairs. It had to do with the danger that veterans face with, like, burn pits and things like that. And it's, you know, serious issues. And on this Zoom call, he thought, it's a big good opportunity to clean my gun, I guess. We have a, we got a screenshot or a clip or something here, Matt, it shows him doing it.

Addison, you know, during this Zoom meeting, which unfortunately we don't actually have the video for, but there was somebody in the meeting who took the screenshot. Well, look at that. All right. So. So, yeah, he's a fucking dumb ass. He's a, one, you're not, he's apparently in his, in his congressional office. And carrying guns is illegal in D.C., but there is a congressman give themselves a car about to keep guns in their own office. Because, of course, they did.

So somebody asked, the Daily Beast asked the call for him's office if he thought it was appropriate time to clean his fire. and his communications director responded, what could possibly be more patriotic than guns and veterans? Okay. So that's a dumb-ass thing to say for a lot of reasons. One, like 90% of the military support staff, not combat troops, because for every guy doing the fighting, you've got to have, like, nine to, like, you know, run his payroll

and run his blood work and keep him fed and gas up his truck and shit. So guns isn't aren't even a big part of it for most troops. But second, the context of, like, what this hearing was about, You guys don't know how burn pits work. The first episode of John Stewart's new show, they went in-depth on this, so you can go learn all about it. So when you invade a country, you destroy the infrastructure or a living outside of it because the country you invaded, it's not going to pick up your fucking trash and shit. So what they do is they dig a big pit and all the waste goes into. We're talking, yes, physical waste, like, you know, your turds and whatnot.

Also your food waste and, you know, discarded munitions and all that stuff. What you do is you cover it in jet fuel and burn it. It turns out, as you might expect, those fumes are noxious and give people a lot of health problems, right? One of the many sacrifices our troops make for us is getting cancer from inhaling, burning jet fuel on top of turds on top of old munitions and old car parts and shit. So, yeah, just he wasn't even listening to the hearing is my fucking point while he was cleanest guy. No, I feel like he was sitting there thinking it's like, uh in his head he's like yeah i mean like troops aren't the only people's got guns and stuff you know like i got i got a gun too you just everybody knows like i'm i'm pretty cool

i'm pretty badass like these troops are it's just like uh i don't know just got to display some manhood you know been a while since he whipped a tree's ass or anything like that so just got to pull a gun out and polish it in the middle of a hearing yeah i mean if you see his videos of him shooting. He shoots a handgun like it's a machine gun. Like, we're just kind of spraying and spraying. So it probably needs a lot of cleaning because he shoots 100 rounds for you one thing he hits. Um, he don't hit in any way. He can't even shoot a fucking gun. So, yeah, he is the worst. So let's say what we got next. Honorable mention we got this guy, this Missouri State rep, who had an interesting response when

he was criticized for calling COVID the China virus. And that's all, it's actually on want to say to set this up so we can watch it and then talk about it because just keep in mind he got criticized by a colleague for calling COVID the China virus and then this is how he responded to that he's also very anti-critical race theory you know the point of origin for a pandemic China is a country and I appreciate that the Spanish flu is such the Spanish flu we are not denigrating Spanish people the German measles are the German measles we're not denigrating the Germans and for the record I love I love dumplings, I love black-eyed peas, and I love cornbread.

All right. Let's sit. All right. I'll second back to how dumb is it. But like, why? Does he think, I was trying to figure out what he's, black cornbread. I don't, I have no idea. It's like he, I don't know, because he says dumplings.

I assume he means like Chinese dumplings. This whole thing is like, I'm not trying to denigrate China by calling it the China flu. Okay. Just so you know, I love dumplings. You would expect me. I love dumplings. I love rice. I love, you know, Kung Pal chicken.

That's what you would think. But he starts with dumplings and then pivots to black-eyed peas and cornbread. It's like his other racism just seeped in. You know what I mean? Like it just, like he just went on racist autopilot or something. I think the guy that criticized him was a black colleague of his. So he's like looking at a black guy while defending this other racism. And he got his racist brain got confused.

And he was just like, listen, man. I love black eye. cornbread and stuff. I don't know. So we say black eyepie's and cornbread are sole food? But honestly, until he got to cornbread, I was like, until we got the cornbread,

it sort of made sense for me because maybe it's like, okay, I like, I like, I like, the black eyep peas. They have one member named taboos, half Asian. Yeah.

It's okay, I could have made it trackfully got to cornbread. I don't know what the fuck he's talking about. Yeah. But, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, if he'd say, like, I love, I love dumplings.

I love black eyes. IPs. I love like Hong Kong action movies, you know, something like that. It'd be like, oh, the middle, if the middle reference was actually the musical group, the black IPs, that would be pretty hilarious. But yeah, no, I don't, I don't know what the hell that was about. I love anime. I love hentai porn. I love all. All right. Let's see what we got next. We got the FBI for not putting a spoiler alert on this footnote in this what you call it, Mark, this legal documents,

deposition, what do you call this? It's an indictment. I think it's part of this guy's indictment. Yeah, it's a court filing trying to get this guy held and this January 6th defendant held into custody. Yeah. So they're trying to get him remanded because he will not follow any orders. This guy has apparently lost like five jobs in the past 12 months because he won't

wear a mask or get vaccinated. So he's a great dude all around. But anyway, so he apparently in a text. message a couple days after January 6th, bragging about about invading the Capitol. He tweeted about choosing violence. And so apparently the FBI took this to be a reference to the Game of Thrones episode where Surze, spoiler alert, if you haven't seen this episode from five years

ago, she blows up the sept with all her political and religious enemies in it using what do you call it, the green wildfire stuff. Wildfire, yeah. Yeah. So anyway, the FBI had this super long footnote explaining who Serze Lannister is and whether they're in the context about she killed other political enemies. And it's just extreme, like, okay, he chose violence. I don't think it needs any further explanation, but yeah.

So actually, I didn't even realize if this is the origin of it. I know like chose, blank, blank, blank, chose violence is like a meme on the internet. Like it pops up a lot. Like on sports, on sports, subredits, stuff. If somebody just trashes the Detroit lines out of nowhere, the comment, top comment will be like, this dude really just woke up and chose violence, huh? And it's just like that type of thing. So I didn't even know it originated with Game of Thrones, but either way, like that

dude right after having been at the Capitol saying he chose violence, I agree with the FBI. It's disconcerting. It's not a good look. But I don't know they had to go into this whole world building game of throne context stuff that they did here you know yeah

I thought yeah I think it's where they chose violence meme I've seen that meme too I think it's like sort of escaped its original context like it's like how

people use Stan now like Stan culture right in common parlance and I don't think I have people know it using it know it comes to the Eminem song

so yeah that's just well okay next up i think this is uh see here yeah i believe this is the last one for we move on and that is uh last honorable mention uh gigantic vaginas for not being sufficiently pro co what hopefully it makes sense in a minute so the leader of the oathkeepers went on a podcast and yeah didn't know that they were still recording he thought they were at break and he started talking about Donald Trump, right? So if you have that, Matt,

just played that part of it. This is Stuart Rose. You and notekeepers and how it's going and how it, you know, built up or not during Trump, and now that Trump's gone, and what do you think Trump's going to be doing? What's the inside scoop on? He's just going to go golfing or?

Trump is the, Trump is the giant vagina. That's what I think. I think Trump is a blowhard. He just wanted to be president and it doesn't have to be shit. Between you and me. He's not doing a damn thing. well we're recording so don't be

we're recording we're recording we said we were on the break we are but that doesn't mean we don't record oh for cry you're from the fucking NSA it's in every freak

yeah the panic in his voice he realized he was still a mic is like fantastic gotta love a hot mic moment man we've had a couple of them now but yeah but it was telling because I didn't realize

that context when I first listened to it I didn't understand that he thought he wasn't being recorded, you know? So, like, for him to just be like, yeah, fuck Trump. Trump sucks. But then you could tell that it's an, oh, shit, moment for him when he realizes that's actually being recorded because, you know, they're still not supposed to say that. And I just wonder how many of them have that going on up here at this point, you know? Well, I don't remember even during the 2016 election, Steve Bannon was openly saying that Trump's just a blunt instrument. like they're like this guy was trying to install trump as a dictator and is saying basically Trump's

beside the point right it's like the move if you it's sort of a case in the day of how much bigger the Trumpist movement is than Trump and he just sort of as an employee of it not really the leader of it so it's just yeah they all just work there man I don't know it's fucking crazy good times fucking crazy uh speaking of fucking crazy and good times let's get into the aforementioned controversy's got them all riled up on the right let's start with the sexy candy we got uh mars the mars candy company just coming way out of left field with with this mark they redesigned the m&Ms characters and uh not everybody's happy about it including tucker carlson we'll start with that that clip there producer matt if we got it

He says it's loading. Maybe we don't. Maybe we don't. The Brown M&M has, quote, transition from high stilettos to lower block heels. Also less sexy. That's progress. Eminem's will not be satisfied until every last cartoon character is deeply unappealing and totally androgynous. Until the moment you wouldn't want to have a drink with any one of them.

That's the goal. When you're totally turned off, we've achieved equity. They've won. All right. man so they're telling he's telling himself in a lot of different ways i mean yeah god so one i too have a very mad at the marx mars candy company for taking the green m&m out of my spank bank um but all they did was change the shoes so not all they're saying they would they want to jerk off to m&Ms but specifically the feet yeah yeah so because they they made the brown emm they

lower her the length of her heels, and the agreement of them, they switched her from go-go boots into like Adidas. Yeah. I'll do. The woke mob don't want you jacking off to sentient confectionery's footwear anymore. Yeah. I hope everybody's happy about that because jacking-in-off's confectionery's footwear has been canceled.

Okay? Yeah. So, and there's no going back. The woke candy company, you just want a Supreme Court case to have the right to have child slaves in its supply chain. I wondered if you were going to bring... I figured you were going to bring that up because I was going to ask you about it if you didn't.

No, there's like... So, what is Mars really doing? Are they really just like... I mean, a whole lot of coverage on this, right? Are they just trying to, like, just stir up anything to make their brand more relevant? Or, like, yes, they had... They've been under fire recently for fucking child slavery

in the Ivory Coast. So, like, this sure is a nice distraction. from child slavery, people talking about wanting to jerk off to our character's feet. Like, that's way better than the alternative, like a smoke screen or just any and all of the above or none of that. They just rebranded and it's just happening. Like, I just wonder what you think about all those things. So, I read an article about somebody used to work in advertising or explaining how

stuff works because I really don't. I've worked on like one or two advertising projects, but nothing like nowhere near an expert. but so they you would have a vague idea you want to rebrand and they're like Mars the Eminem's have had these mascots

since 1956 I think I saw so they've gone through a couple different iterations so just the guy we wanted to do a rebrand also it's worth pointing out the Super Bowl's in two weeks they may be gearing up

to launch a new school ad campaign right so you go out outside ad agency it's like hey we want to redraw these cartoon characters and then the ad agency does their work

for whatever overpaid their amount they can justify their employment and they come up with a rationale for why the character is going to look a little different, right? It's all reverse engineered from just wanting to update your branding.

But they're trying to hang some cult from meaning off of it. First of all, Mars did that too, which is fucking stupid. Nobody cares. I don't think the right wing knows that we all roll around this shit. Nobody cares what's if the green and am is too sexy. Right. Yes. I'm glad you said that too. It's not anyone on the left is like, what a victory. You know, matter of fact, some liberal had tweeted, I'm sorry, I don't remember who it was. I just saw it when this was first happening. like, well, you know, we couldn't get universal health care done or voting rights, but hey, at least we got woke M&Ms, like at least, at least the orange M&M is openly dealing with his mental health issues.

It's like, yeah, no one, like you said, no one is like celebrating that they did this. It's just most people don't give much of a fuck. We're talking about it right now because we're making fun of how outraged they got over them doing this. But nobody on our side was like fucking cheers. in the streets because of, because of, you know, M&M being more body positive

or whatever the hell all they did with the M&Ms. Yeah, I mean, they try to make it vibes and personality base because they can't make it more body, body positive. Right. Because they're M&M's. They're all shaped this.

Yes, exactly. They're already a literal rainbow of colors. You can do nothing with that. And yes, they're all just circles. So all they can, do is put new fucking shoes on them and stuff. They want to switch it up at all.

Give new shoes like one of them a little antsier in the ads or whatever. And then they put all these like corporate buzzwords in the press release. But I read that article you were talking about also. And they pointed out in there, they quote the M&M's press release. And there's a bunch of shit in there about like the importance of self-expression and voice that is more inclusive and unifying and all that type of thing. Right. And then later in the article, they post a quote from a different press release from a different company. And it sounds very similar. It's like we live in a diverse world with different ideas and different perspectives that must come together and make great things happen. We're deeply committed to diversity and inclusion, including attracting and promoting diverse talent across our company. The exchange of different ideas and viewpoints drives innovation and inspires powerful storytelling, all this type of shit. And that press release was from Fox News. so like it's just that's what they all are doing and saying right now is how any kind of

corporate america shit works they have their buzzwords they go you know whatever's most synergistic mark or whatever that type of shit and that's just what they do and that's what mars is doing right here just like it's what fox news was doing with their press release and it's just mars makes fucking candy everyone involved in this is cynical as hell like the the only the only honest actors or the voice actors who show up to voice them and em and go the fuck home them and forget about it. But Fox did a whole week on this. If you have this gut-filled clip,

remember this is Fox's flagship comedy show. So here's the gut-filled fit, if you haven't had. No, he don't have, producer Matt said he couldn't get that one to download. Okay. It's just, yeah. His opening line was,

what Eminem's, he said, well, Eminem still melt in your hands, even if they're trans. Even if they're trans? Because it rhymes. Yeah.

And they've been hitting that. transition real hard and the browner like the brown emin will transition into it's like they're heavily implying that it's that the m and m is trans now even though that's not part of this new lore that it's not part of the they don't have genitals yeah right we kind of hard to transition from one you know uh genderless confectionery to another but yeah but yeah no this the all this stuff does serve a larger purpose and we'll get to that in a second but like i want to show this awesome Ben Garrison cartoon. Oh, you want to play the video now, Matt?

No. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's just on the screen grab, yeah. Who better to commit to a world, more moments of fun by increasing a sense of belonging around the global and M&Ms. Yeah, he's talking about the cynicism in their press release, which it is cynical. Their fucking corporation exists to sell sugar and give you diabetes. They have child slaves.

Yes. Fuck them. Here's a, but anyway, they did catch on. This became a huge issue for everyone to the right. of us apparently. Here's a Ben Garrison cartoon with a, it's called the woke M&Ms.

They're chasing a white chocolate. You get that here, get what's going on. They're chasing the white at M&M, which doesn't like to use this. They're chasing in the green. One is yelling white chocolate privilege.

The blue M&M saying milk bigot while carrying a torch. She got a red M&M with a pitchfork. I guess it means he's the devil now and the green one's got a bat. And he did leave the high heels on the green M&M.

Which is the, that's the one with the go-go boots. You even got that wrong. So the whole thing's fucking ridiculous. That's so funny. White chocolate privilege sort of like, what you do is you keep people riled up and make them feel like they're being oppressed by their own culture. So all the pat-paws get mad at this shit. Yeah. So then when it transitions to real politics, it looks more like this.

If you don't have that political headline, Matt, this is from today. Right. GOP says Democrats' virus drug guidance is anti-white. Now, you might have heard Trump say at a rally last week that they're only given the vaccines to, you know, people of color. They're discriminating against white people, which may or may not be a good way to get them to go take the vaccine if they think brown people are taking it from them. So maybe that's maybe he's being benevolent there. Yeah. But so there's a little bit of truth, but that is not a little bit of truth in the fact that it's anti-white.

So the FDA's guidance. Again, it's important to point out this is not. These are non-binding recommendations. For the monoply antibody treatment, the only one that works against Omicron is called Sutrovamab. I don't know why I can't fucking name drugs something like George or some shit.

So Citrovamath is they said that the guidance is that people of color may be at higher risk for severe COVID-19, and it's one factor among several of the doctors consider when doling out the drugs given that they remain in short supply. So

because there's a huge shortage of monocle antibodies, so the FDA removed a couple from circulation because they don't work for Omicron. So Ron DeSantis was flipping out about that today. I think it's just he literally accused the FDA and the Biden administration were trying to kill Republicans in Florida.

So everything's going normally. But this is catching a little among everybody. Senator Marco Rubio is among several lawmakers pushing the FDA to rescind the recommendation, calling it racist and not American. I told you what Trump said. The Wall Street Journal ran an editorial blasting New York's version of the policy is unfair

and possibly illegal. Stephen Miller Remember our old White House policy advisor slash You know sexy fucking dude Assuming New York over their policy And threatened legal action It's Minnesota and Utah And rally against the efforts

As unconstitutional, immoral, and tyrannical Now This is a context of a pandemic Where people of color dying About twice the rate of white people Now that's for The FDA isn't pretty clear They're pretty sure that's for socioeconomic factors

not probably almost definitely not genetic factors. It's just because people are more likely to work jobs where they catch it, right? Right. White people are more likely to be able to work from home and also have the social connections to get better treatment and to get and more likely be insured.

All the reasons that the world's unfair stack up against. So, but but the end result of which is that people of color are more likely to die than white people from COVID. So it's a, it's a, it's a genuine risk factor, which is why it's listed under risk factors, to be possibly considered.

They've also clarified it's like the likelihood that any white person would meet the other criteria for getting these treatments, but then not get it just because they're white is like very minuscule, you know, unlikely to ever happen. So it's just, it all is very not outrageous, really, and pretty logical and reasonable when you talk through it. But what? they've landed on is they're trying to kill white people with COVID by refusing us the treatment because being racist against white people is fine now and this is what the Democrats want. That's where they're at. If you don't believe it's the world's racist against white people, just look at the M&M commercials.

They took away my feet to jerk off to it. But anyway, despite the FDA recommendations, this is still America. So the system working normally, according to this article, monolent antibodies were given to Hispanic patients, 58% less often than the white patients, no matter what the recommendations are. So it's not even having the effect that they're complaining about. Right. Yeah, it's because, like, like, I mean, I'm all made up. Like, none of it, none of it is true or real.

And it's just like it's their new, it's the next, it this, they're attempting to make this the next thing like critical race theory was, you know, or whatever. Or like, or like with transgender bathrooms or any number of other things that they just like, seize upon that they pretty much invent wholesale out of thin air to get pissed off about. And it like it works because we talked about critical race theory a ton and how much of a factor it was and your home state of Virginia's governor race, governor's race. You know, so like the ship works, but it's very transparent what they're doing or it should be. But if it works, why wouldn't they keep doing it, you know?

It's been 50 years or 60 years or whatever since that famous, BGA quote about how it's like you won't notice a man reached you don't know off the top of your head you won't notice a man reaching in your pocket if you're giving somebody to hate or somebody to look down on or something like that it's just like I can't

believe this hustle still works it's fucking it's fucking maddening because like like social no matter what the FDA says social networks or social networks right like I knew we have people I knew that were very well off got vaxed literally the day after it was approved

even though they weren't on any of the approved lists right and so because because they get access to people who knew where to get it the idea

that white people would even be discriminated against what it is they're not vaccinated you want quick access to the monocular antibodies because that's what

they've been promised in exchange for not being vaccinated so the fact that it's limited supply they see the guidance and they flip out but just get the

fucking vaccine it won't matter so anyway we're talking about World War III I guess so yeah but you're going to have to

you know shock to no one you're going to have to walk me through this day i know that russia's amassing troops around the border of ukraine and it's a hairy situation i know that they're trying to get the band back together russia the old USSR maybe starting with uh ukraine it didn't didn't hit for them having to give out all that up they're like well we'd like to get this back and i know they annexed Crimea a few years back and that was the whole deal and now they're just trying to get the rest of the they got the yeah now they want the caboodle so to speak and this ain't good

Yeah, they've been trying to push disruption in Ukraine ever since their puppet was pushed out a few years ago because they don't like, they, they, my understanding is in a Russian consciousness, Ukraine provides a, it's a buffer between them and the Western world because Russia consumes itself of the West but also an Asian superpower and you don't like people encroaching on them from Europe. Ukraine to defend themselves wants to be allied with NATO because of the joint defense, you know, agreement that they would come to Ukraine's aid if. Russia invaded. Everyone thinks Russia is going to invade so NATO doesn't want to let Ukraine in because they don't want to actually fucking fight for Ukraine. And here comes us, right? So Ukraine is a democracy.

So Russia, that doesn't hit for Russia either. So they're building up troops. They moved all physical assets into the theater. They would need to invade. They haven't moved Czech troops yet. But that's the last thing you do anyway. First you fly the tanks and trucks in, then you

fucking mount up for war. And Ukraine's absolutely going to lose it. And, you know, that won't be good. In this environment, because no one thinks anyone's going to go to war to defend Ukraine. Russia holds a lot of cards because they have a ton of the world's oil and gas supply, so no one can really do much to them. We're between a rock and a hard place. So pretty much the option we have is like sanctions and shit. Anyway, even the sanctions people are sword rattling, the little bit that Biden is doing, like we sold them small weapons and stuff. But here, hit to go back to Tucker Carlson, but he sums up

this, the fucking, how un-united we are to even stand up for democracy against an invading despot like Russia. Play that Tucker Carlson video. Wait a second. Why is it disloyal to side with Russia but loyal to side with

Ukraine? They're both foreign countries that don't care anything about the United States. Kind of strange. it's all right so uh there are a lot of reasons Tucker one again the aforementioned fact that ukraine's democracy in russia is not two um going back a little bit here and this is a real problem of erika has in the world right now is we have no fucking credibility because we will not stand by our word once we change presidents having with the paris accords happened with iran deal and ukraine when the soviet union collapsed ukraine had a bunch of nukes all right they had a

bunch of Soviet nukes. And so we went to them and say, hey, give up your nukes and we'll make sure to defend you from Russia. So we took away their capacity to defend themselves in its exchange for the world becoming less dangerous nuclear weapons floating around. And now the bill has come to. And I don't know what we're going to do. All I know is that war is bad, but these fucking psychopaths are rooting for Russia.

Fuck them. And even like the amount of disinformation is like, like Marjorie Taylor, Green went to play the video map, but she said that essentially the only reason Biden's defending Ukraine is because they have dirt on Hunter Biden. So, anyway, thoughts and prayers to the Ukrainian people.

You're probably on your fucking own because we're yeah, I don't know. Yeah. That seems to me not, you know, not having a firm grasp with the whole deal at all. It feels like Russia just decides to do this, then they're just going to

do it. And then that's what's going to. And I know Ukraine has said like, you know, we're going to fight back. We're going to defend ourselves and I'm sure they will, but probably won't go well. And I don't expect anybody to do much in the way of stopping or helping or anything. I mean, the levers we have to pull are like, Russia's already under pretty quickly economic sanctions. Somebody asked Biden today if he'd approve personal sanction against Vladimir Putin. But like, Putin's money stashed all over the world under various. Like, he's laundered. He's like, he's probably the richest man. Like, he's probably the richest. man of the world. Richard and Bezos, even though on paper, it makes like $400,000 a year. And I don't know what we could actually do it. We could annoy Russian elites by making it so they can't go to their, see their mistresses in France.

That's about it. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Uh, well, yeah. You want to talk about Kid Rock, Trey? Sure. Why not?

No good segue for that. Getting into Kid Rock. But yeah, Matt, you can start looking at comments and stuff to put them up there if you want to, but go ahead, Mark. What about Kid, oh, thank Vegan Lee YouTube says

hit the like button, like, subscribe and all that stuff, share, tell your friends. Thank you, Lee.

Appreciate it. Kid Rock dropped a new hit today. It goes hard. It's called We the people. And the chorus is

we the people, let's go Brandon. We the people, let's go Brandon. We the people. We the people. We the people. So,

Trey doesn't want to play it. You can go find it on YouTube. He's afraid because sometimes we get flagged for copyright violations for playing, for showing clips.

or um with music yeah music especially so i'll just read you some of these lyrics we the people and all we do reserve the right to scream fuck you i'm on board okay uh wear your mask take your pills now whole generation's mentally ill i mean that's probably true uh then he else fuck fouchi uh covid's here covid's here we're coming to town we got a guy quick

shut our borders down joe biden does the media embraces big don does it and they call him racist Kid Rock used to really hit for me, Trey. Yeah, me too. I'm white trash, dog. I grew up in multiple trailers. I fucking loved Kid Rock. You kidding me?

I was a huge fan. Got my mom a Kid Rock box set just a few years ago for Christmas, and she was real fired up about it. Yeah. But yeah, he, uh, then he does the wonderful course you already read. And then the next, uh, little, the bridge, I guess we'll call it, is just fuck Facebook, fuck Twitter too. And the mainstream media, fuck you too.

two, two, yeah, you. A little later, he says, you piece of shit, I don't see color. Black Lives Matter, no shit, motherfucker. That's what he says. Hey, sorry, live show of emergency. My wife blocked herself out of the house or their keys in the car without running.

I go glitter in her apartment. I'll be right back. All right, go ahead. I'm going to keep y'all. So, but the thing I like about it is, so I already read you all this shit that, uh, uh, he said, so half of this song is him saying, fuck this, fuck Fauci, fuck Fouch, fuck Fouch, fuck this,

Fuck you. Fuck everybody. Fuck all that. Black Lives Matter No shit, motherfucker, right? And then the other half of this song is we all bleed red, brother, listen to me. It's time for love and unity. Then back to fuck CNN, fuck TMZ, and you social media trolls, you can suck on D's, D's, D's, Nuts.

That's what's up. And then, if you're down with love and want to make things better. He brought back D's nuts, Trey. He brought back D's nuts. All we got to do is just come. together. And then, so, yeah, it's, he vacillates wildly back and forth between, fuck you, D's nuts, suck it.

And all we got to do is join hands and love each other and everything will be all right. So, I wonder why he turned on TMZ, because TMZ was, I mean, all the tabloids were thoroughly pro-Trump in 2016. Harvey Levin was good friends with Trump, helped cover up a few of his scandals. And I think after Trump won the election, his first interview was Harvey Levin, given Harvey Levin, a tour of Trump, of his Trump, the Trump building, Trump, he's Trump, he's Trump, so, I don't know. Anna Ledford-Afi from Facebook says he rhymes two with two, yes, but also with you and you

and then two again. But yeah, he switches it up, you know. Yeah, I mean, rappers take a lot of liberties with what rhymes. Kid Rock's a bad rapper, but it's still within bounds of the art form. Whisper Mason says, from all the F-bombs, it sounds like he's puberty rock now. All right. He's growing up.

Yeah. Yeah, that's the thing. You pick a name like Kid Rock. You get into your 50s. You still got to just, you know, at what point do you become, he never was teen rock or adult rock, you know? You just stay kid rock. Yeah. It's like, I mean, even little bow wow dropped a little eventually.

He's just bow wow. Right. So. He looked around. He's like, I'm not. little anymore. Kid Rock. Still living a kid dream.

Yeah. If everybody don't know, he's like, he's very much appropriated my people's white trash culture, kid, because he's like a rich kid from the suburbs of Detroit. He grew up in a house with a fucking tennis court and shit like that, so. Yeah. He sold me on it, though. Again, I ain't gonna lie.

Buddy, he was my shit for a while there. Courtney Brown, YouTube says, Tucker's making some Russian coin somehow. That's my prediction. I mean, I don't know. But, you know, like Russia, Russia's hit for them for a long time because it's essentially a white, it's a white ethnic state. They hate Muslims and they're hard on gays and they legalized domestic abuse. It's pretty much, you know, the old school Christian paradise, you know, outside of, you know, the communism. Makes good money by just like hitting the appropriate talking points, you know, get his people all riled up and whatnot.

And in this case, it would be Russia good. They made the legal be gay, so of course they're good. And also it's like Joe Biden is saying that Russia bad because of this. So, you know, and Joe Biden bad to his people there for Russia good, in addition to Russia just being good already. So everything circles back to Russia good for the Fox News crowd. Oh, yeah, I saw that. Aaron McCullough on Facebook says, can we talk about Neil Young's stand against Spotify?

I'm interested in this fight. Spotify's been problematic to comedians for a minute, so I'm fascinated. So the comedians thing, Roy Wood Jr.'s friend of ours in a brilliant comic and an awesome dude, I tweeted the whole thing about it where it was like, it felt like half of comics were like, yo, fuck Spotify. And the other half were like, what's going on on Spotify? And he's like, they're fucking us. Well, fuck Spotify then.

But it was like it felt like it came up out of nowhere to me. And I know it hit Corey got all his shit taking on Spotify overnight for no reason. And we're on the same album together. and mine were left up and his were taken down. So the whole thing was really weird. But it became apparent to me that they were fucking over comedians or attempting to. So, yeah, obviously, I ain't down with that. I think it has something to do with, you might know a bit more than I do.

But it's like the royalties, they weren't paying writing royalties or just paying the, right? Is that right? There's a, there's this like organization that's been trying to like, revise the way that like comedians or any kind of like spoken word orders or anything like that gets royalties on these sites like this and it's a big legal thing and you're like all comedians like sign this petition for them you know they're trying to address it um and Spotify doesn't want to fuck with that they're like no we'll just fuck the comedian we're not doing that so fuck them is what happened but the Neil Young thing is separate from that because the new young thing I don't think think has anything to do with that. Neil Young said that, Neil Young said he was going to take all his shit off Spotify if they didn't take Joe Rogan off Spotify. Now, I feel like, God bless Neil Young, I feel like they're probably going to go with

Joe Rogan on that one at this stage of the game, I would imagine. But, you know, Neil Young's always been about that life. Yeah, I think who you would have to, I mean, the role of this thing had to do with the second half of this guy's question about being problematic to comedians. for a minute. So if you guys don't know, you can copyright a song, but you can't copyright a joke. So there's no like, there's no like writer's compensation for comedians. So, but the Neo Young thing, I mean, for it to be effective, it would have to be like Drake. And probably Drake like plus Beyonce plus Rihanna. I don't think Neil Young. I mean, not, I love, I like

Neil Young's music. I just don't know if it's going to be a powerful enough lever to have an effect. Because Spotify's, they invested $200 million in Joe Rogan for a reason. Like, he's profitable for that. I don't know what they're paying New Young, but it's not $200 million. You know, it ain't like Joe Rogan has become like less relevant or anything since they did that. You know what I mean? Yeah. He's in the headlines and shit all the time.

They are a corporation. So, you know, it's probably, they're probably feeling pretty good about it. Now, if New Young gets all the, you know, golden oldie, the classic rock. All of them together, you know, whoever's controlling all the Beatles songs and the stones, everybody else on there. And they all, you know, agreed with Neil Young, then maybe. But, yeah. But we're worthy of Aaron. Oh, producer might point out that Mark's called Aaron a guy.

He said this guy. Oh, sorry. I got my browser window. I couldn't see the first name. I'm sorry, Aaron. My wife's name's Aaron, so I shouldn't have assumed. That's true. But anyway, yeah.

Um, while Matt's looking for something else, you were going to tell everybody to get all their money out of crypto. Is that right? So crypto collapsed. Like, like, like, I think $1.3 trillion of value evaporated the past couple days. But it's not a good investment for reasons we've made fun of before. But if you guys, even follow what's happening in Kalykstan, Trey? A big crypto, like, farm or whatever, or mining, crypto mining farm or some shit like that. So there's a press blackout right now. Nobody knows really what's happening because a bunch of people took to the streets and the military was deployed to, I don't know, kill them. No one knows. But the reason it took to the streets is because no one can afford to buy gas for the car or heat their houses because energy prices have surged like a tremendous amount.

And one of the root causes this is that Kazakhstan has made itself into the world's number two producer crypto mining. country behind all of the US. So, yeah, we're still number one. But they're eating up like 10% of the country's power grid. So one of the reasons people can't afford to fucking heat their houses is because of these like, uh, uh, you fly by night crypto operations that the government is recruited to try to drum up revenue. And if you don't know, college stands run by this fucking, uh, you know, it's a, it's a,

it's a collectocracy run by a dictator. Uh, so yeah, it's evil all around. Like, even if it's, the, the environmental of impacts. the, the pointlessness of it, the scamming aspect of it. We made fun of Matt Damon last week because that crypto.com got hacked and like a $13 million or whatever, it just disappeared. This is a Ponzi scam stacked on top of a pyramid scheme, stacked on top of just wishcasting. It's just wishing. So anyway, Ukraine, Kazakhstan, all the places that are getting really fucked for stupid-ass reasons right now.

Stay safe. Stay safe. The Collexand excuse, little viewers. Amy Upchurch, Tudel on Facebook says crypto mining is so bad for the environment,

which you touched on in the middle of that, that rant there about it. It burns about as much power, I think, as much power as like Europe per year. It's like, it's fucking stupid.

I think somebody compared the best explanation I've saw of what, how Bitcoin, or sorry, what do you call blockchain works in real life. It's like leaving your car idling 24-7

produce Sudoku's you could use to buy heroin. That's the whole fucking thing. All right. Cats and Jam and YouTube says Crystal, I believe that meant crypto. Typo.

Crypto is a friggin pyramid scheme from what I could see. First one then, first ones then get paid by later suckers. First one is get, first ones then get paid by later suckers people that come later it's not even insured shaking my head no it's it's a it's a

it's a total it's a meme currency based on a joke right like we're we're like bitcoin was a joke take on money doge coin was a joke take on bitcoin now the shiba doge coin it's ironic take on doge coin there was a shiba yeah let's go brandon let's go brandon coin yeah we talked about that a couple weeks ago. Yeah. I should have bought some of that because I feel like that was poised to take off once people heard about it because people will buy it. It's like a Trump collectible coin or something.

People will actually buy it. But yeah, I never got around to buying a thousand, let's go branding coins for about 30 cents. It was 30. Something like that. Yeah. All righty.

Let's say here. Michelle Breerton says, from Facebook says, can we comment on Georgia giving the green light to investigate Trump? they formed a grand jury it's not even like an official grand jury it's a grand jury that will investigate it then hand over their evidence to an real grand jury i don't i don't really understand i'd say it's a step but god damn this shit's moving so fucking slow and 2024 is going to be here in a minute buddy ain't it yeah thought everything like being terrible supposed like pain and whatnot i was supposed to make time go slowly you know i had thought but shit's been terrible for forever and it's just flying by Yeah. The history just keep on coming, as they say.

You only do two days, Trey, the day you go in, the day you come out. That's right, buddy. So, yeah, once again, remind you, like, subscribe, all that stuff. Tell your mom and them, we appreciate it. You go to well-read comedy.com if you want some tickets to see me and Corey and Drew live. We've got some good days coming up this spring. We'll be in Indianapolis this weekend. We'll see y'all there, hopefully.

And you can go to weekly skews.com if you want to. and get you a shirt that producer matt drummed up for us there so yeah that's pretty much it we love y'all and we hope to see you back next skeeusty we'll be right here same time same virtual place so you love you back