Weekly Skews - Weekly Skews 1/4/22 – January 6 Anniversary (Almost)

Episode Date: January 5, 2022

Welcome back and Happy New Year, y’all. Tonight, after our brief holiday hiatus, and in advance of the coming one year anniversary of the failed insurrection of January 6, we discuss what we've learned and what it tells us about the future. Also some good dumbasses too!Support the show

Howdy there? Welcome back and Happy New Year, y'all, after a brief hiatus, it is once again Skuse Day. Today's January 4th, 2022. Holy hell. I'm Trey Crowder, and that's Mark Aegee. What's up, Mark? What's up, Trey? I just got back from two weeks of holiday travel yesterday across a fluid of Virginia. drove to Florida, flew back to L.A., and so far, avoided the crime. We'll see how it goes. Yeah. Yeah, no, me too.

I mean, you know, not the same places, but yeah, I've been in rural Tennessee this whole time. We mostly just kept to our, you know, circles, family and whatnot there. But, yeah, pull it, pulling through all right. So far, did you get any wild shit happen? Any good Florida stuff or anything like that go down? I mean, the first thing I saw, we pulled into my in-laws, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, subdivision was a guy

riding at ATV smoking a blunt, so hell yeah, Florida. That's pretty much craziest thing I saw. That was just pure fun. I like Florida. It's a bad rap.

We make fun of it, though, so I guess I got to own that. We're part of the problem. When it comes to people roasting Florida. As far as the news, I don't know if you saw this, but Melania is now selling NFTs, which I'm not really sure what they're

of, and I'm like, if you don't know what NFTs are, you're welcome for not knowing. Sure. I've been like, I've still, it's not like I've tried that hard to understand what they are. But I've had a couple of, you know, brief conversations with people like, what the hell is that? And then they try to explain it and I don't really pick up on it, but then I still haven't really. So if she's doing it, I thought it was whatever. I will really get in the weeds if I start talking about NFTs, I'm sure, because I'm very ignorant. but it's and it's supposed to be some kind of like digital art type thing or something like what is what the hell is she what's it going to be just like yeah i don't know exactly digital like glare or digital think face thing icon i don't get it maybe it's the christmas decorations uh it's a it's a built on blockchain technology and this is like i'm using a bunch of words i barely understand so anybody works in tech uh feel free to throw shit at the screen uh it's a digital record that refers to

to a piece of artwork that you own. But you don't actually own the artwork. You just own the digital record. So literally you can right click on it and steal it. You can download any image on the internet. So this guy, it was really funny, this guy was complaining all over the internet because somebody stole his NFT of a monkey,

a monkey wearing a grill smoking and joint. He apparently paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for this. And he was like, but the thing is like the whole point of blockchain is supposed to make it impossible for your thing to be stolen. That's the whole point is the code makes it impossible to hat. So he was like doing this long explainer thread about actually stealing it's illegal. It's like, buddy, the whole point of technology is not supposed to be illegal.

And you think you discovered theft law. But all someone did was right. It doesn't make any fucking difference. He's also selling a big, a fancy French hat that was gifted to her by the Macron family who visited France, which she's selling it. She autographed it. She should get way more than $2,000 is worth. But I'm wondering, if she built that divorce fund, I don't know, because like what does she need to sell a $2,000 hat for? Getting a war chest together, I guess.

I don't know. I'm surprised it's taking this long, really, if that's a thing that's going to happen. You know what I mean? Yeah. But in further exciting crypto news, Let's Go Brandon is now a Bitcoin that also owns a NASCAR, driven by the actual Brandon, who was the, through no fault of his own was the origin of this chance. And he was complaining last week about how because of the chance, and because he's associated with it, he couldn't get sponsorship. And then he got, and you just wanted to stay out of politics, they didn't want to deal with any of it. And then he signed a promotional deal with the LGBT coin thing because he, I guess because he's so desperate or just is like decided to lead into it.

But anyway, NASCAR might take away his brandy deal. So maybe he's fucked anyway. How do you, how do you, how much, it's got a cost a fair amount of money to sponsor a car for an entire, uh, exfinity series, I would think. Yeah. This is like, is this not just something that somebody just made up? And now they're like, spending all this money on. in the real world and it's because I know it ain't worth much right I mean I looked I looked at today the value of it's down 22% today probably presumably because the NASCAR might make them back out of their sponsorship deal but it's currently trading at 0.000009 cents that is nine 10,000th of a dollar and the point of it was they minted 330 trillion of these things so quite

obviously is a scam trying to get like Trump fans to all by five dollars worth each and they could all cash you off for a for a shit ton of money but it's not working so hell yeah ain't that uh capitalism as well buddy sure is yeah the yeah the future shaping up to be just as dumb as ever you got fucking monkeys with grills smoking blunts getting stolen on the internet and uh cryptocurrency based on a you know i'd rather by actual snake oil to cure my hemorrhoids or whatever because at least that had some opium it. Right. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Or just existed in the

world. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Like Yeah, you could touch it. You could rub snake oil on your butt if that's what you want to do. You know, might not do anything, but you could do it. All this stuff is just fucking like dip shit Harry Potter stuff. It's just made up. At least you felt a hard time. You could throw your pet rocket somebody or eat your beanie babies. Yeah. Oh, well, happy new year indeed. Okay. With us as always as producer, Matt, this is weekly skews.

I do want to remind you if you're vaccinated and want to see me live. You can go to well-read comedy.com for tickets and information on the upcoming shows. That would be super cool. As for the show tonight, as the one-year anniversary of that fateful failed insurrection of last January 6th looms on the near horizon, we look back on what we've learned in the intervening months about that shit show and its perpetrators. What do we know now? What's it tell us about the future? future, is any of it good? I think you know the answer to at least one of those questions,

but we will still try to have some fun along the way, beginning, as always, with the Daily Dumbass. Matt, graphic, please. Tonight's dumbass, uh, God for inventing doctors when he had already invented himself. What am I talking about? I barely know, but here's Senator Ron Johnson with a little more. Why do we assume that the body's natural immune system isn't the marvel that it really is? Why do we think that we can create something better than God in terms of combating disease? Now, there are certain things we have to do, but we've just made so many assumptions, and it's all pointed toward everybody getting a vaccine.

So I'm assuming Ron Johnson walks back and forth to Wisconsin. Right. Or even like is naked all the time? Like God didn't invent the clothes I'm wearing. You know, we've got God invented enough clothes for us, Mark. It's the hairs on our naked body. Why do we need all this shit? Or yes, he invented legs so we could walk everywhere.

Why would you need a car? Or the phone that he's clearly using to call into this television show. Like I just don't understand how any of this is supposed to make sense in this guy's. Yeah, on a phone, on a television show, in pants, having been presumably vaccinated. And it's just like, God didn't even have it shame. That was that dumb bitch Eve, right? So, but apparently he doesn't have shame either. So maybe that's going according to God's plan.

These guys are also fucking dumb, man. Like, I don't think, like, they should Google how long people lived in biblical times because God won't, God wouldn't do it as work back to. Dude, we're like, we have to fight God. Like, God's the one who invents the diseases that are trying to kill us. Like, we're in a war with God, really. Yeah. And we're doing everything we can to keep him from murdering us all with his wrathful machinations.

So, you know, you got to do something. That's just me. That's just how I look at it. God didn't even bother trying to cure leprosy until he sent Jesus. And he still uncured some of it because there's still leprosy. So I don't know. Like, it didn't even, like, didn't even get the job done. So I don't know.

I could, yeah, this guy's, read the Bible. I remember three things from it and have no understanding to memorize like some code words. Anyway, as my Southern Baptist mom says, God helps those who help themselves. So get your fucking vaccine and booster. Please do so. That's right. All right. Honorable mention tonight, Don Jr. for being the Fredo Corleone and an entire family made up of Fredos. Here's Michael Cohen with some interesting back, one of my trying to say, behind the scenes information here on the dynamics of the Trump family. Yeah.

What's funny is you all may remember the big lawsuit that the DA had brought years ago against Don Jr. and Yvonka, as it related to at the time Trump's Soho with the lying to the public about the number of units sold, puffing as Donald liked to call it. I'll never forget when Donald turned around said, because it was Don't, and Ivanka, if it's one of the two that we have to offer up, let it be Don. Ivanka would never be able to handle it. And Don is tough. He could take it.

Now, of course, having a daughter and a son, I wouldn't offer either of them up. I mean, if you're going to fight because you believe that it's not true, you don't offer somebody up in advance in order to put an end to it. So in essence, he didn't want the legal bills. So I do disagree with Trump's premise that Don Jr. would do well in jail. I just want to put that out there. Hell no. Yeah.

John Jr. First of all, I picture making toilet wine. I don't think it's going to go well. I probably can't remember recipe. There's no cocaine or it's harder to get cocaine. Actually, it's usually to get heroin. Can you get coke in prison? It's too expensive probably, right?

I don't know. But either way, it's going to involve a lot of butthole stuff for Don Jr., I think. so you know but hey you know hell man maybe he's into that i don't know but i just think it's funny to imagine that trump like is always offering up don junior you know like whenever any subject matter comes up like they're talking about the january 6 commission or just whatever it is anything at all don junior's name hasn't even been brought up yet and trump's like i got an idea maybe we could just give him my sorry ass son would that work like oh he wasn't involved in this particular thing sir it's like well still could we just quit could i could i

I'd just really like to get rid of him, if possible. That would be good. If somebody could help me out with that. It's like, remember the first season, the Wire, when the Barksdale organization accidentally shoots a cop, and they realize everyone's real mad at them, so they have to give up somebody, so they just pick, they just basically draw lots and Webe has to go to prison for life. Yeah.

It's essentially the same thing. It's like, I can just picture John Jr., like agreeing to take more bodies if they get him another sandwich. Yeah, man, but no, I can't, I mean, I guess. Ivanka, he said Ivanka wouldn't do well. Maybe she would do even worse than Don Jr., but I don't think so. I think even she would be better off in a woman's prison than Don Jr. would fare in, you know, regular old jail.

If you guys don't remember the details of this case, what happened was the New York City District Attorney had the Trump Organization dead to rights for lying about occupancy rates at their buildings to, get further investments. They had emails between Don Jr. and Ivanka talking about how they were lying. And what happened was Trump gave a big campaign donation to the district attorney at Sy Vance and then the case went away. So just another example, the many, many places the Democratic Party could have stopped all this.

Sybantz is, of course, a very powerful Democrat. Right. That's the other thing that's kind of funny about it to me, too, is it's just like, I can't believe that Trump, like, I feel like Trump assumes that none of them are ever going to go to prison. Do you know what I mean? Like he just takes it for granted that they won't. And he's probably right. But I think that makes it funnier that he's like, well, you know who could go to prison as Don G. That would be fine. Like in his head, it's not even really a possibility. But he's like, but still, I mean, he can go. That would be all right. Yeah. He must honestly

not believe in Don is his son. You know, it's sort of like, it's just an embarrassment. I didn't want to be named after him. He's just like, he's not even a person to him. Just like, he'd throw him in a wood chipper for $5. It's pretty funny to me. Absolutely. Yeah. By the way, speaking to Don Jr., congrats on his engagement slash impending second divorce. Because that won't last long. He just got engaged this weekend. No, no, that will not.

All right. Our next honorable mention for Daily Dumbass, all those Floridians who are all hung up on knowing whether or not they have this COVID thing that everybody's talking about. Really shouldn't be so concerned about knowing whether or not you have the disease in the middle of this plague. This, according to Florida's Surgeon General, as you could see in this clip right here. We're going to be working to unwind the sort of testing psychology that our federal leadership has managed to, unfortunately, get most of the country in over the last two years. We need to unwind this testing sort of planning and living one's life around testing.

without it, we're going to be sort of stuck in the same cycle. So, you know, it's really time for people to be living, to, you know, to make the decisions they want regarding vaccination, to enjoy the fact that many people have natural immunity. So what makes us a cosmic fucking joke is he's taught, like the sign, if you're just listening to the podcast version, the sign hanging on the front of his podium says early treatment saves lives. Now, so here's the problem with that. that you don't know to get treatment if you can't get a positive fucking test. This is not a system that works. And the thing on the right recently has been that like there's too much focus on the vaccine is not enough on how much better treatments have gotten.

And okay, fair. Treatments have gotten better. But vaccines are super, super cheap like a dollar apiece or whatever. And the fucking monocle antibodies are like two grand or something. So like it's fairly straightforward reason why the government want everybody to get the fucking vaccine. Well, so, but in Florida specifically, DeSantis was one of the first major people to push that exact narrative, right, about the treatment, the antibodies and all that stuff. And the CEO of Regeneron that makes the antibodies is his literal number one political campaign donor or something like that. So, you know, it's all very American and very much checks out.

But also, like you said, he's standing in a podium that says early treatment saves lives, literally impossible. if testing isn't a thing because how are you going to get early treatment if you don't know you have it also towards the end he says i can't remember exactly but he's like instead of just enjoying the fact that some people have natural immunity you know what i mean it's like that also is um you need to get tested to know whether you have had the damn disease whether you have it or not to know if you've got any kind of natural immunity or know if you need treatment or to know literally anything in this scenario. I don't know what is supposed to put literally the underlying message here is just literally

just go to work and don't worry about this anymore. Like that's all it is. Like just fuck, fuck considering it at all. Just go to work and go to shows and stuff and do whatever you want to do. Yeah. I mean, it's like, look, it's like it's, we're banishing object permanence as a, as a COVID strategy.

It's just like, if you don't look in your blood, the disease can't be there, right? Right. Yeah. So, like, but you're talking to a guy who, historically, when he knows he's broke, which just won't check his bank balance because fuck that shit. But I'm not the governor of California, of Florida. Right. You know, it's like a lot of me.

Dude, I mean, honestly, I come from a long line of every, really every man in my family, and I ain't going to lie, I've got some of this, too. I'm not with COVID specifically, but just that idea. It's like, you can't be sick if you don't go the doctor, you know, like you were just saying. Like just, no, ain't nothing wrong with me. All the doctor is going to do is tell you something's wrong with you. And then you'll know something's wrong with you as opposed to just acting like nothing's wrong with you forever. And that goes for mental shit, too.

It's just a general sort of philosophy that us Crowder boys have always had. And you ought not be that way, but especially in the middle of a pandemic. But even I am not that way when there's a plague on. You know, it should make a, should be a factor in people's, uh, health habits, but what are you going to do? We're starting year three of this pandemic, and we've learned nothing. Oh, my God, dude. The scientists learned a lot, the general public.

And I say that as somebody, I mean, I traveled across the country, but I wore my mask and shit. And we did rapid tests all the time, and I wore my, and then vaccine boosted. But at that said, I recognize that ain't part of the problem, but we flew like the day. It was like, well, Omicron's here and it's getting real bad. I was like, well, we're already in the fucking plate. I don't know what we're supposed to do about it now. But anyway. All right.

So this next one, Mark, I'm definitely going to need you to do because this is one of our like conspiracy lunatics here back for another, back for another go round. So, yeah, I guess that is my, that is my, that is what I bring to this. Your forte, yes. Yeah, that makes sense. Okay, so let's let the, I'll let the clip speak for itself before we get into who it is and why he's arguing, but it's all really funny. But I guess the dumb ass for this one is whoever put this restaurant's menu together. Good to clip, Matt. you message when you finished recording you may hang up press one for more option hello uh this is losers cafe

and i have a phone order by text for a cock sandwich i'm not really sure how you want your cock on that sandwich would you do me a favor please will you call me back remember this is joe bond from losers cafe and i have a text order on our system or a cock sandwich and i need to know do you want that circumcised uncircumcised we can serve the we can serve the circumcision circumcision kind of like you know calimari on the side if you want but we need to know if you have dipping sauce and exactly what you want with it will you call me back thank you okay let's see if we can get the next one so that we've talked about this guy before that's a returning guest slash treasure hunt

slash election fraud experts slash inventor of the QCat Jovon Pulitzer. And what he's doing is phone prank and a fellow conspiracy theorist because of a weird beef they're at. Now, what's really funny to me that video is he's doing a fake voice.

But he used his real name, Jovan, which there aren't a lot of Jovon's run around. For sure. Real quick, is that, do you know, is that his actual name? No, no. He changed it because he changed it

to reframe his Google hits after QCat was such an epic disaster. This is the guy. I figured. Yeah. If you guys remember, he's the guy who blames Mark Cuban for his divorce because Mark Cuban made fun of the Qat. And he also, he went on that history channel saying he discovered, I think, a Viking sword in Canada. And people Googled and saw it was like, it's a novelty sword to come by on Amazon.

I hope he paid a million dollars for it. So, so what, he was one of the big guys behind the Georgia and Arizona recount efforts. he financed them and he he says claim to it of any technology that can scan the ballots and tell if they're fraudulent or not it's it's not real so but the fight he's in because when the fraud when the when the recount failed all the people involved in it blamed each other for bad strategies all right so the guy that's I'm laughing at this headline here yeah he did say he was going to stab the he was going to stab him in the face and then pause dot dot dot with the truth when he realized. Stabbing with the truth. Yeah. So we called this guy.

I also called a woman and he called a woman and offered to talk about the size of his penis. I'm not really sure why. Just, hey, I'll tell you how big my dick is. That was another prank call I did in that session. I was sure the progeny of that one. But what he's really mad at this guy for this, the guy's named David Clements, he was leaving that voicemail for. So what Pulitzer did was he wrote a book.

book that explains how his technology that proves the ballots is fake works, and he's selling it for $250, Trey. For the small price of $250, you can buy this man's lunatic book. And what thing Clement did to set him off was he made fun of the book and pointed out there is a literal typo on the fucking cover of the book. Oh, man. That's rough. Yeah.

Just right out of the gate. I'm not sure it's worth entirely $250, you know. It makes you question your purchase. I think you see a typo on the cover. Otherwise, you know. It is. I'm watching, like, today there's a weird, there's a beef going on between Marjor,

Taylor Green and Dan Crenshaw. They're each other's throats right now. And I'm like, why in the world would you ever join this pack when they're, you're a fucking hyenas who rip each other apart? Right. All the time. All the time they end up.

Yeah, fucking, yeah, when things go wrong. Well, dude, it's like, it just all trickles down from Trump, I feel like, you know, because that's what he does. Like, he'll just fucking throw you smooth under the bus at the earliest opportunity and just keep on a rolling. And so, you know, you just see that kind of same mentality sort of disseminate amongst all of these loonies out here. But I also just like, both these prank calls were dick-based, which, you know, when I was in six, sixth grade and we were in the prank call game i just there just hasn't been a lot of advancements uh well for i guess just with this guy i'm just saying you know like the old cock sandwich play

and also he repeated it too much he kept just saying cock sandwich it's like it's like he came this closer to being like do you get what i'm saying you want to eat a cock is what i'm saying to you like you would be the type of guy who would eat cock but i'm saying it's on a sandwich so like I'm, it's a cock sandwich is what I'm trying to say, okay? Like, I feel like he was this close to just doing that. Yeah, I mean, I don't think he really thought the bit through, considering he was selling himself as the, uh, proprietor of a business called Losers Cafe.

Yeah. So I was like, well, are you the, are you the guy who owns Losers Cafe, right? Is there a cafe that caters to losers or? Right. Also, I just feel like it just, you know, prank call is not the same without the other person on the line. You know what I mean? Yeah. The idea is like he picks up. You're like, hey, this is the guy from the cafe. I understand you ordered a cock sandwich. What are you talking about? I didn't order a cock sandwich. Are you sure you didn't want a cock same? You know, when you're just leaving a voicemail, just, I don't know, poking a lot of holes in this guy's crank call methodology here.

Yeah. I would say as a professional comedy writer that the Calamari part maybe had some originality and some legs to it. I'd rework the whole thing around the Calumari part and start with that. Yeah, there you go. Start from the ground up. Yeah. Okay. Well, we got one more honorable mention for Daily Dumbass, and it is Donald Trump for not loving Donald Trump as much as Alex Jones does, or at least did. I don't know at this point. Alex seems pretty upset. In this clip, he put out his response to Donald Trump debating Candace Owens on the subject of the COVID vaccines.

Go ahead, Matt. Emergency Christmas Day warning to President Trump. You are either completely ignorant about the so-called vaccine gene therapy that you helped ram through with Operation Warp Speed, or you're one of the most evil men who has ever lived to push this toxic poison on the public and to attack your constituents when they simply try to save their lives and the lives of others. We're about to lay out the basic incontrovertible facts that what you told Candace Owens just a few days ago, is nothing but a raft of dirty lies. So there's lots of funny things about this.

One, he did this on Christmas Day, presumably because he didn't have any plans because his wife took his kids away, which was the real-life thing to happen. Sure. This is in response, so Trump went on Candace Owens' YouTube show, which is the dignity that his office deserves.

And he argued with her about vaccines. not the mandates, just the efficacy of the vaccines because he wants to take credit from them. And also he's smarter politically people give him credit for and come back to that in a second. So she argued with him about him, and then she put out of YouTube the next day after people had a backlash against him,

defending him by saying, no, no, guys, he's just really old and stupid and doesn't understand how to do the research on the Internet. He's too old to know how to get on Reddit. He gets his news from the mainstream newspapers, is why he's wrong about this. So that's what started all this. And it's really caused a huge meltdown.

And I think this is really interesting because sort of taking a lead from his head nods, the entire Republican Party has gone in on, like, anti-vaxed bullshit. But vaccines are still fairly popular, even among Republicans. They're just not, the mandate's not obvious, super popular, but they're mostly vaccinated. So, like, literally everybody else on the primary is already locked into an anti-vax path, unless it just turn up about face and laugh and lie, which of course they all will. But Trump can credibly say,

I'm not only my four vaccines, I invented the vaccine. They all these fucking assholes, we don't like you die. Yeah. It's kind of wild to me. Like, they just,

when they, however they land on a position, any given political position, however they land on it, once they have landed on it, there just is, no backing off of it or revisiting it no matter what i feel like is one of the takeaways from this meaning like even when their god emperor you know is saying the opposite it still has no

effect you know like i would have maybe thought before this particular situation and this trump has been a proponent of the vaccines publicly before he said it at rallies and shit like that before all that i would have thought like you know if trump would just tell them to take the vaccine, then maybe they would fucking do it because they'll do whatever he says. I might have thought that to be true, but it clearly isn't. And so it's just like, that's, that's just how dug in they get once they've made up their minds. Like, forget fucking, like, evidence and data and shit like that.

Even, you know, mandates from on high aren't enough to, uh, to sway them once they've gotten there. It's, like, they're totally led by the mob. Like, like, there was a, uh, um, they always talk about the stuff. off the record, but their Republican congressman article a couple weeks ago talking about how, like, they can't say anything publicly it deviates from Fox News Orthodoxy, or they'll do a piece about it

and they get death threats. And they also they face primary charge challenges from the right. So like, they literally can't be saying or they'll lose. Right. So, but it's like, it reminds me of a remember the Simpsons Treehouse of horror where the two aliens ran for president?

Yeah. And the guy has given a speech that goes, Abortions for none. And the car goes, boo. They go, very well then abortions for all booed he goes okay then abortions for some miniature American flags for others to go it's just that

it's just that yeah what it Trump is a salesman and a con artist he knows how to say what people want to hear Ted Cruz is the unlike a little shit piece of shit nobody fucking cares a Ted Cruz says he has no idea how to say what people like so it's just like is that what you said

earlier you said you said Donald Trump is actually smarter politically than people give him credit for more on that in a second. That was it. Yeah. I was going to say, like, yeah. Because he, like, he, like, he knows that people like vaccine in general. Like the 30s, the, the, the psychos you see at Maga rallies aren't enough to win an entire

public primary. They're not. Even when you were the primary in 16, you only got like 30% of the vote. It was just a plurality because we're 16 candidates. So, I think, I don't know what the, this is very, very anecdotal, but, you know, I just got back from my hometown and my wife's hometown. in my wife's hometown, Wayne County, Tennessee is literally the reddest county in the very red state of Tennessee. Like Trump carried it by a larger margin than any other county in Tennessee.

It's just red as hell. And when I was there going to, like, if I went to the grocery store and stuff like that, young people, not really. But most every older person I saw in Wayne County was wearing a mask in the grocery store and stuff. And again, it's anecdotal, but it made me think, it's like, okay, whatever. whatever they might say or, like, complain about or whatnot, I think at this point, a lot of them have realized, like, I might fucking die from this thing. And so. They don't know people who died. They don't know people who died.

Yeah, right, right. So I think, like, if I don't know how long it took, and again, it may not matter in terms of how they, like, vote or whatever. But I do think that a lot of people have just finally had it, you know, beaten into them. That it is an actual thing that you have to take. measures for, you know. My mom's little rural counties and surrounding them, like, it was probably, like, in Southern Virginia, there was probably, like, I don't know, 40 to 60 percent people wearing masks, and it was a little bit higher in Florida, but that's, we were in Orlando,

which is a city, which y'all know about the urban rural, you know, do I, but it's like, people don't want to get sick. Right. It's fairly straightforward. But being sick, don't hit. Been sick, don't hit. You heard it here first, everybody. All right, let's get into it, Mark.

It's two days remote, two days away. from the one-year anniversary of January 6th. A lot has happened. A lot of over 700 arrests at this point. A lot of studying has been done. A lot of data gathered over the past year. And we found some stuff out about who these people are. Is that right?

Yeah. So Slate did an interview today with a researcher of extremism who was talking about, like if you look at the people who have been arrested, like Trace said there's 700 and so far. And it's a little scary because these aren't your normal extremists. And let me tell you what I mean. So the guy said the way the guy put it was January 6 is not really a product or just a fringe. So if you look at who the FBI usually arrests with the right-wing ideologies who do acts of violence,

most of the time they're members of skin-hitted or prison gangs or militia groups or extremist groups like the proud boys. In this case, only 13% of those who've been arrested are parts of those groups. And people assume they're economically motivated or poor or whatever. And usually that's true because usually right-wing. extremists are typically a third unemployed, but only 7% of people arrested the capital for the capital riot had been unemployed, which is basically the national average of the time. So, fairly employment-wise, they're economically average. They're actually, in general, a lot of them were way better than average.

Over half of those who were arrested were business owners, CEOs from white-collar core occupations, doctors, lawyers, and architects. So those were heavily represented in capital riot. And age-wise, it's crazy because two-thirds of them arrested so far over the age of 34, which is wild because normally right-wing extremists, two-thirds are under the age of 34. So this is a wildly, this is a wildly boozy suburban riot. 25% of them have college degrees, which is about the close to the national average of the U.S. electorate at 30%. So all those are like pretty interesting findings, I thought. And the common text sports, wow, because the one-six committee actually did a bunch of shit today.

they actually seem to be getting aggressive, which is, you know, what you and I have been saying, they should have been doing the whole fucking time. And it actually already caused something to happen today. For one, Trump was supposed to give a big press conference on Thursday. Presumably, St. Ashley Babbitt's a hero. Yeah. For sure.

And so here, but then this happened after they started dropping secret texts they've gotten, first from Sean Hannity at Mark Meadows. We'll get to those in a second, but let's see the reaction first. Here's a video for Fox News. In fact of six moments ago, we received a statement from former President Donald Trump. That's right. He just canceled his press conference scheduled for January 6th. He accused the committee of, quote, bias and dishonesty.

The committee just asked Sean Hannity to speak with the panel on a voluntary basis, no subpoena there. The committee says it has information that Hannity, quote, had advanced knowledge related to the planning by the former. president and his legal team leading up to January 6th. On 1-6, Hannity condemned the riot. Hannity's counsel, Jay Sekulose, says the committee's request, quote, raises serious constitutional issues, including First Amendment concerns. Brett. Okay, Chad. Thank you. All right. So when they said that they have information that shown Hannity may know this, the information he may know this is a series of text message where he says he's, he's,

basically warning Trump that if he tries to do whatever he's planning to do, the entire White House counsel's office will quit. And they can't afford to lose all those lawyers right now. And it goes, I do not see January 6th happening the way he's being told. Then he said this right here. I'm very worried about the next 48 hours. Now, the question is when you do, if you don't think the six is going to go the way he is told, what was he told? What was he told? Right. Yeah. I mean, yeah, that is the question. Like, what was the expectation? Well, I, I, Yeah, I don't understand, honestly, because it's like, clearly he knew that something was, but these texts are from the day before. They're from January 5th. So he's already worried about how it's going to, it's not like he saw it unfolding and then was like, oh, shit, this has gone too far. It was before it even happened, he was like, this is not going to be good. But what was even supposed to happen in the first place then? You know, like what was the goal? We talked about, there was other Fox News hosts.

We talked about it on one of the shows before the. the break were there were multiple like pundits and fox news people sending text all over the white house but also like uh don junior or ivanka or both were sending text and trying to get him to trump to do something and he wasn't so it's like they've been this has been gradually coming out and like i said when we talked about before it's like that shows to me that they're um they fully just explain these people that they, you know, gin up and get them all fired up with the bullshit and feeding them everything and getting, you know, pissing them off all the time because that's how

they pad their bank accounts and buy their yachts and stuff and they realize that. But, but they too are afraid of them and, you know, and do not hold a high opinion of these people. They're not on the same side. They're not their people. They serve a purpose for them, but, you know, They don't want them actually showing up and doing shit because that would be bad. Yeah, I mean, con artists typically have zero respect for the intelligence or humanity of their victims, right? Right. So, but, like, the first text I read was from December 31st about how, like, it's January 6th is not going to go how you think, I don't think. So, not going to go how you were told.

So, like, they were aware, like, he was aware of something big being planned like a week earlier. And I'm like, I do want to watch this. It's not just text from Ivanka. We have, here's a video of Liz Chang. We'll play this video, then we'll talk about it. But here's a video from Liz Cheney on a Sunday show, if you have that, Matt. Matt said just one second. He'll get it for us.

Yeah, put it up whenever you've got it there. The morning of this is pretty important. But what, yeah, he'll play it when he has it. But what's the, so what do you think is the tantrum that Trump is throwing by canceling his press conference because this extra stuff is coming? out but like why exactly what would what would him having gone gone forward with it as planned you know what would have been the repercussions or why you know the way he operates and not really giving a shit generally about well much of anything i'm you know wondering why this had this

effect on him well clearly he's seeing what people his friends and allies were seeing about him behind his back and the committee has a lot of it right and he doesn't know what else they're going to put out between now and Thursday or afterwards they would make him look like a fucking idiot idiot for saying something that they then yeah immediately disprove or discredit i mean what if what if he has judge jean intro him at his private press conference and then the they drop text message judge dean calls him a fucking moron right right right again he's not he knows Man, I was going to put on a show. Would you have a comic open for you where you don't know what they're going to do?

Yeah, right. Okay, Matt says he's got it. So this is Liz Cheney talking about some of their findings. Is his failure to make that statement criminal negligence? You know, I think that there are a number of, as the chairman said, potential criminal statutes at issue here. But I think that there's absolutely no question that it was a derelict. of duty. And I think one of the things the committee needs to look at is we're looking at a legislative purpose is whether we need enhanced penalties for that kind of dereliction of duty.

But I think it's also important for the American people to understand how dangerous Donald Trump was. We know as he was sitting there in the dining room next to the Oval Office, members of his staff were pleading with him to go on television to tell people to stop. We know Leader McCarthy was pleading with him to do that. We know members of members of his family. We know his daughter, we have first-hand testimony, that his daughter, Ivanka, went in at least twice to ask him to please stop this violence. Any man who would not do so, any man who would provoke a violent assault on the Capitol to stop the counting of electoral votes, any man who would watch television as police officers were being beaten, as his supporters were invading the capital of the United States, is clearly unfit for future office. Clearly, it can never be anywhere. near the Oval Office ever again. So the thing that perk my ears there, and I'm not going to be one of these, like,

justice porn people is going to promise you Trump's over going to go to jail because he's probably absolutely fucking not if I had to bet on it. But she said, so she told me to Ivanka going to Oval Office a couple times to meet with Trump against president, trying to get him stop this shit. The phrase firsthand information is legally important. Now, Cheney's a lawyer, and she'd know that.

but like firsthand information is a missile point court right so there's a reason to use that so if you so that's another reason Trump would uh might want to not put his foot in his mouth this week uh he he's good at staying out of jail historically um so yeah so yeah uh I'm glad like I don't know why it took them this long to fucking they wait till a holiday week I know that the news is going to be high alert this week there's going to be a lot of news coverage you could be watching a lot of it because it's the anniversary of the thing. So maybe that's where they're doing it. They could have been doing the full court press from January 7th of last year on.

Yeah, that's just how everything moves at a glacial pace where the government is concerned, I feel like. You know, like anytime they are dragging their feet, it's never really surprising. But yeah, it's good to see anything happening at this point, too. I mean, you say that, but like, Ted Cruz said today that if Republicans take back the house next year in the fall, they're definitely going to impeach Biden. And I bet you that will happen in January of next year. No, no, you know, you're right about that. I mean, they've proven multiple times that, like, when they actually are motivated to do something, they can make it happen really fucking quick. Like, when it's actually important to them, they can do it.

I'm just saying, like, that almost never happens. and most things take fucking forever. But yeah, we'll see what else comes out on it. But back to the demographics and the data and whatnot. Basically, the takeaway from that, I guess, is that, and this is what they say in the Slate article and the researcher says, is that it's just, it's mischaracterization to call it like a fringe element or a fringe phenomenon.

It's not really the fringe. It's way more mainstreamed and people really. And I feel like a lot of people at this point would say, yeah, you know, I know that. I could have told you that by now. But I do think that it's, I don't know, I still find it kind of surprising because you look at the number of people. How many people were there? I don't know, a few thousand. Right.

So that's really not that many in the grand scheme of, you know, a fucking even hardcore right winger. So you look at just the numbers and everything. And typically when shit like this happens, I'm always like, well, yeah, well, you know, the end of the day, this is like a fraction of a fraction of whatever. But, um, but, yeah, when you break down the numbers like you did earlier and how it doesn't really match up with what you typically think of when you think of like extremists, then it's, uh, you know, it's pretty freaky. I mean, by not fringe, that doesn't mean a majority, right? Because you're still talking about like, say half people are self-identified as Republicans. So like a quarter to

of the country or something, 20, 25%. But look at the polling data, you've got like 70% of Republicans say that the capital riot was justified or patriotic or whatever. And that doesn't mean they would have gone because obviously a lot of those people are lying about what they believe in order to troll the poster or troll us, right? They know what they're supposed to say to signal tribal solidarity. So it's not necessarily that they believe that, really, but they don't mind fucking saying if they if it helps them get their point across but like there's a story at msabc the day um the title

was from the capital of the city council extremism shifted out to january 6th and it makes the point that like these people made a concentrated effort to go local after that and we've covered a lot of the yelling at school board stuff yeah but it doesn't it doesn't take that many people to sway a city council or a school board anybody's ever like wonder why you can't get new apartment buildings built in your in your town is because the small the small group people who are really against getting new apartments, build in their neighborhood, go and scream at this fucking zoning board and stop it. So there was just a thing last week, this story to talk about this woman, she's head of something called the Mamalicia.

And in Stockton, California, which is basically a suburb of the bay. And she was at January 6th, and then she went back and became an anti-mask mandate person. Now, she routinely goes and screams the school board there. And this is a town that went like a school district that went 30% for buy. Biden. And she succeeded in getting them with her loud group of supporters and going to get them to rescind their mask mandate for the school districts in the middle of the Omicron surge, just by yelling, just by being the loudest person there. And it's just wild to me. So anyway, my point is like, go to your school board meeting and be just as loud as these fucking idiots. If you don't want to run for office, I get that. But like, these people, that woman doesn't even, didn't even have a kid in the district. She picked Stockton for whatever reason. Well, people have been, you know, saying for a long time, like, it's not just the major elections. It's not just the presidential election or Senate and Congress and all that.

It's like state and local elections. That's where a whole lot of important shit happens and those are important too. And seeing that these people in particular really like taking that to heart and are using that to, you know, sort of implement their ideology, but at an even more like localized level is. It's pretty alarming because, I mean, you're right. It doesn't take that many to get those type of changes across. I mean, enough people scream loudly enough in a small enough governing body and some shit's probably going to happen. I mean, the Fed globally act locally used to be a bumper sticker for like local hippie moms who were trying to get you to take a canvas tote bag to get your groceries, right? And now it's the same people, but they're fascists now.

You know, it's like, it's wild, dude. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's like these people are all taking over like local election boards and stuff. So in 24, if the presidential elections overturned, it's going to be a thousand little decisions. It's not going to be not in the state legislature or throwing out results necessarily. It's going to be, you know. There was some other stuff in the data.

Well, first of all, Matt, you can start, you know, if you want to throw some comments up there or whatnot, I'll be scrolling through them too. I want to remind you all before I forget. Okay. Full disclosure. producer matt reminded me i did not remember of my own accord like and subscribe and all that stuff you know what to do we really appreciate it uh and you can go to weekly skews dot com get you a skews shirt if you would like and you can go to well read comedy dot com for uh tour dates and tickets and whatnot so that's all those things done now with that said we'll start looking

at some comments but i did want to say mark because i don't think we talked about it i know that there was also some uh data in there too about or it was a separate article about um like public education and the implications it has for this as well. There was a, I read this piece of the day in the inquiry, not the National Enquirer, the inquiry was starts with an eye from Will Bunch. And he was making this point, you might have seen this viral moment from over the holidays, where there's a lawsuit from a rural county in Pennsylvania where the school district has filed a suit against the state because they say they're underfunded in the way that the state funds schools is unfair.

to rural to rural poor districts. And there was a moment, there's no video of it. It was just a quote from this guy who's on the, he's on the border. Anyway, this politician at this hearing, James John Krill. Harvard educated, right? Didn't I read that, right? That guy's, he went to Harvard. Yeah, it sounds like a guy went to Harvard because listen to what he said.

What use would a carpenter have for biology? What use would someone on the McDonald's career track have for algebra one? Now, off the top of my head, here's the use of Carpenter would have for having a basic understanding of biology. Let's say in the middle of a global pandemic, and instead of having mitigation strategies that makes sense, we're relitigating the germ theory of fucking disease. So that's one reason you would want to Carpenter about biology. But Bunch also makes the point that we've defunded civics education. And with this guy, this guy's statement is revealing because he's talking about, well, the school's purpose is to create workers for the economy. Why would they need to know stuff that's not for their job?

right and one reason would be so you understand when someone's fucking lying to you about how the government works or or having basic media literacy and be understanding when it yeah well just also how who makes the determination that these people these kids and this school well they're all going to be fucking woodworkers they're all going to work at McDonald's or whatever do you know what I mean like I I went to a school and fit the demographic of a you know whatever a factory worker if they just said you know know what, we're not going to do any of this algebra shit or any of that for, you know, before I ever went to school, then I wouldn't have went to college and, you know, wouldn't be sitting here with you today, Mark, you know what I mean? Like, you just, I mean, it becomes an automatic self-fulfilling prophecy, but they don't give a shit about that because that is, that's just how they see these people. It's like you're, you're born here in this bracket or whatever. This is the purpose you are meant to serve society. Be glad we even a lot you a purpose and that, and that's all, that's all this needs to happen. I want to talk about this comment, but, before we don't I just do it like so the the point this guy was making is this exact same district only has only 40,000 people reside in it but they set a busload of people to January 6th and so he's talking about how underfunded schools at civics education you end up with a bunch of fucking even if they're materially well off because they're good at doing a task that they were taught to do by the educational system they don't fucking know anything about how the world works and we're churning out psychotic people who blame all the wrong stuff for their

problem. Anyway, now, if you, if you teach somebody on the McDonald's track how to read a newspaper critically, they will understand that QAnon is a real. That is the reason you're right. Right. Right. Yes. Okay. But anyway, it's funny to me they're doing Soviet-style central planning for how to assign workers to jobs. Yeah, right. Yes. Yeah. B.J. Anderson for Facebook says, you guys see where representative Devin Newt, is it Nunez or it's Nunez, right? I'm saying that right. He's a Portuguese. He's a Portuguese. He's a Portuguese. he's not ethically i think i think it's just newness newness i know i know i get it wrong you got to see debon newness resigned today to run trump's media company uh yeah he i mean he actually

he resigned a couple he told he announced he was going to resign a few months ago but i saw that he actually did it it was it's effective at midnight tonight so uh audios motherfucker enjoy your two-month ride as a CEO of this fake company that's just a cash grab for other people who weren't you um so that's going to go well for him i there's like 10 different right-wing media are They talk about all these hyenas always rip each other apart. There's like 10 different right-wing twitters. None of them work. And all them are publicly, all the leaders of this movement have picked different ones.

And they spent all day on there dissing the other people on the other one and why the other site sucks, presumably because they're own a chunk of the stock. So it's, uh, there's no way it's going to, it's too much too crowded of a marketplace. Yeah, I don't think this will work and also think his motivations are not, you know, exactly the same as some of the others. but we've talked about plenty of times before on the show about how like there seems to be a mentality amongst a lot of them on the right that their government service is just like a stepping stone to being like a personality or not even a stepping stone that they're personal they're like media personalities and media presences first and foremost and that's what the priority is over being an elected representative yeah uh yeah i mean uh ted cruz and as a podcast, Matt Gates as a podcast, they're all trying to be influencers. Michael Stephen Collins from Facebook says

MTG, Marjorie Taylor Green, is a bull of shit. First time I've heard that put that way, but hell I'm into it. She is a bull of shit. I agree with you, Michael. Yes, she got banned from Twitter, so that's fun. She's real upset about her First Amendment rights

right now, I'm certain. Well, it's so funny because she immediately went to get her. That's the one she picked, the right-wing media side she picked, but one of the reasons that those right-wing Twitters aren't going to work is there aren't any libs on there to troll. Right. Yeah.

The whole fun thing for them is to get them in somebody's mentions and call them a Jew. Absolutely. They show up on this show every week, buddy. They found us. They come out. You're so right. I hadn't thought about that that way, but you're 100% right. That does

fully explain to me why none of those have really taken off. that takes all the fun out of it for them. If any of them were going to work, then Marjor Taylor Green wouldn't have spent the last week crying about getting kicked off Twitter. Why does she want to be back on Twitter if it's a ball of fun on Getter? Yeah. So, yeah.

Yeah. All right. Let's see what else we got here. Haley Meade from Facebook says, Who listens to Ted Cruz's podcast? That sounds like torture. Yeah, I agree. I mean, you were saying earlier, like he's.

Seems like he's one of those people seems like nobody likes him, but he sticks around just by virtue of, I guess, where he runs at, you know, or whatever. But even people who like still like hold their noses and support him just because he's aligned with them politically, they don't like to listen to him talk. Like nobody likes to listen to him talk. It's better than looking at his weird face. But I imagine that even his wife is probably like, hey, honey, we should let's have a conversation. He's like, can I just listen to your fucking podcast because I want to do this? Yeah. Oh, by the way, I want to like congratulate, it was snowing real bad in Virginia today.

And I saw it there was like a like a 27-hour pile up on the I-95 that people were stuck in, including Senator Tim Kaine, who apparently survived the 27 hours, heating his car 30 minutes every two hours on drinking, just living on Dr. Pepper. So he made it to D.C. finally. buddy i we were we were doing the show then i probably talked about it last year i remember because it was my son's birthdays was just barely just over a year ago we got stuck on mount baldy out here in california in a big blizzard up there for like 14 hours so half that time and i was on the very edge of my sanity dog i'll go ahead and tell you that right now that was of course i had my

young children with me we stupidly didn't have like food packed it sucked it was sucked it was not a good time. So, you know, glad all those Virginians made it out. Southerners in the snow, not a good combination. I mean, my wife, my sister texted yesterday, talking about they, they were, you know, got like a foot of snow and out of school and all this stuff. And the power was out. And my wife, who's from a city in Florida where it never snows, is like, oh, my God, are you guys okay? And I was like, we once went like 18 days of that power. Like my brother-in-law probably already killed three deer, made a pot of chili, the cooking cornbread in the wood stove. It's fine. Most annoying parts like keeping the kids entertained.

For sure. Tracy Chambers Sear from Facebook says tell your senators to support and protect voting rights. Yes, I always good to tell your senator stuff. Yeah, you can tell them, but like sarcastic, by the way. If I sounded sarcastic, I didn't mean too. You should tell your senator's stuff. Definitely call. People say that they do actually tally up phone calls for who cares about what is she the strongest or whatever.

But my thing is like we talked earlier about Ted Cruz as announced they're going to impeached Joe Biden when they take back the house. And Joe Biden is like, I don't need to do anything to, you know, fix gerrymandering. So, yeah. B.J. Anderson back again. Can we kick Joe Mansion out of the party yet? I mean. But you don't want that, man.

You want Mitch McConnell back, be a majority leader? That's not going to hit. Think about Ted Cruz being judiciary chairman when you're trying to, Biden's trying to nominate judges. Because, well, one of the things Biden actually been. It was really successful at this year. I mean, there's good stuff. I'm not going to, like, get, to get no deep weeds here.

I'm not going to say it's all bad or anything. But, like, the, he's pushed through a ton of judges to the federal courts, like 40, I think, which is, like, a record for a first year of a president. And they're good judges. There are a lot of, like, usually what they do is appoint prosecutors. Fuck that shit. He appointed public defenders and, like, civil rights advocates and shit. So that's good.

So that's a real win. So you do not want Ted Cruz being chair of the Judiciary Committee. So as much as Joe Biden sucks, it's better to, just because Joe Manchin, yeah, Joe Manchin, sorry, 50 is better than 49. So, yeah, yeah, sucks, but is true. Let's see here. I'm just out, damn it. Kim Hunsucker says Marjorie Taylor Green is totally pumping her career. I don't know.

I guess that just means being one of the aforementioned professional. screaming lunatics we were talking about earlier. Yeah. She doesn't want to be Joe Biden. She wants to be Joe Rogan. Yes, exactly. Yep. Let's see what else we got here.

Apparently, John Haymaker says she also got temporarily banned from Facebook as well. I saw where she got taken off Twitter. I didn't know about Facebook, but. I didn't see that, but Facebook tends to lead more than follow us. So if somebody else takes the brunt of the heats and they'll do some expedient, but they're also more scared of the house regulating them because that's where all the old boomers go to complain is on Facebook. So that's the site they care about mostly.

Whereas the trolls care about Twitter. Aaron McCullough, hello, Aaron, back again. From Facebook says, just flip Wisconsin. Isn't Ron Johnson retiring? I don't know. I mean, I'm sure it's in the Lord's hands, one way or the other. yeah yeah i don't know i'm not up on wisconsin politics right now uh but yeah i'm gonna google it real quick flip them all

yeah i guess he is um no i guess he hasn't decided yet at least he hadn't as of november he's hinted that he is though um but yeah i mean wisconsin's one of those states i think is flippable according to like all the yeah politics people i see i read about but Yeah, does, does, does God, did God admit retirement? Because I don't think you can do that if God didn't come up with it. You just got to wait until God kills you and then you can stop working. God decides, that's how God decides when you retire, it's when he kills you. So I'm sorry, Ron, Johns.

Thus spakeeth the Lord. That's right. All right. Good to be back, everybody. Thanks for joining us on the first edition of Weekly Skews for the year 2022. We'll be back next week. Hit the like, hit to subscribe. go to well redcomedy.com do all that shit and thank you very much say you love you bye