Weekly Skews - Weekly Skews 2/01/22 – Suffer the Furry Children

Episode Date: February 2, 2022

Alright so to hear conservatives tell it, the radical left has made a bunch of high school kids think they’re animals and demand dog bowls and litter boxes and whatnot. Which is as hilarious as it is not at all true, as per usual. Also, cops in small town AL are policing for profit. So that’s fun. Join us!Support the show

Hey, everybody. Welcome back. Happy Skews Day to you. Today is February 1st, 2022. I'm Trey Crowder, and that's Mark Aegee. What's up, Mark? What's up, Trey? How are you doing today, bud? All right. Are you, I spent today thinking about geography, specifically how the Super Bowl is going to be here in two weeks and that's probably going to fuck our lives up? But also, truckers in Canada, have you been following the Canadian trucker caravan? Just a little bit. I know it seems like truckers in Canada are maybe more like truckers in America than I realized,

or at least these truckers are. Look, listen, hashtag not all truckers, I'm aware. My grandpa was a trucker. But these truckers, yeah, they seem to be on some shit. Yeah, I mean, my dad was a long-haul trucker, and their culture seems to mostly revolve around amphetamines and knowing every interstate in the country but the uh don't forget more's sorry yeah it's lot lizards yeah sorry everybody go ahead mom having different families in four different towns that's why it's part of the culture too uh so but canadian trucker first of all you see not

truckers the canadian trucker caravan is overwhelmingly not truckers so i want to say that off the top so what happened was this trucker trucker alliance or whatever was sort of protesting the vaccine mandates to start with they eventually pulled out of this because this got fucking insane because a bunch of people that weren't them took up their cause now any sort of union or trade alliance is going to resist government mandates for fairly obvious reasons that I'm not totally unsympathetic to trying to protect your workforce like if you're going to

collect the bargain something give us something for it then we'll do it right but like 90% of Canadian cross-border truckers that's who mostly we're talking about here are vaccinated so we're talking about like the 10% holdouts. And so they decided to organize this protest where a bunch of truckers are going to drive to Ottawa, the nation's capital. But then like a bunch of other people decided they were going to do it and join the trucker. So like a bunch of people and like the original estimates from the people in the protest

said that 100,000 truckers were coming to Iowa in like a long caravan. Ottawa. Yeah, Ottawa, yeah. So here's the thing. I don't have a little bit of rough back of the envelope of math. A 100,000 truck caravan, if you're falling at a safe distance, would last for a couple thousand miles, perhaps. This was not going to be, that's ridiculous. There's not, you'll be able to see that from space.

Yeah. So that didn't happen. This is mostly a couple hundred truck drivers and then a bunch of random, um, make MCGAs, how do you pronounce it, macagas? Oh, right. McCugas. A bunch of make Canada great again, people joining in to blast their horns. essentially occupy the city of Ottawa, which isn't very big. So they've been able to totally take it over, be complete assholes.

They were flying Nazi flags, Confederate flags, wearing Trump hats for some reason. And tell the people about the sign you were talking about. So I saw a sign one of them had that said, uh, 222 is the new 1776 or something like that. And it's like, you read that, that's, but that's our debt. What is that? What does 1776 have to do with y'all? And it's like, we're clearly. exporting a certain

type of dumb assery around the globe like we're the number one exporter of that type of dip shit I guess like it's just we just send it everywhere apparently yeah I mean especially because like Canada was invited to join us the Canadian teric colonies were invited to

you know join us in the American Revolution to cast off the queen and they were like no thanks we like the queen the king at the time and were like okay cool so like they had their choice to join in our drunken whiskey revolt against uh against king george they decided not to now they guess they have fear of missing out 200 from 50 250 years ago yeah but so they they couldn't get into restaurants because they have vaccine requirements so instead they harassed a soup kitchen

to feed them they like surrounded the place and made this uh uh organization that normally feeds homeless people make them give them fucking food which is evil and crass they like they like they They tore up a warm of oil to some like Canadian medical, you know, military heroes. I can't remember. Also the two men, the unknown soldier, they have one of those two. And so the trucker organization immediately that had originally planned the protest was like, fuck these people. We're not into this anymore.

So they pulled out of the protest. But they're still there. They're just hanging around in Ottawa. And the police are saying nothing's gone wrong because when you're a right-wing protester, you can do whatever the fuck you want, apparently. So, yeah, but the funny thing to come out of it, the Nazi, I say pictures weren't all that hilarious, but an excuse viewer by the name of,

you want to try your name? It's her, right? On Twitter, she tagged us on this picture on Twitter. Safi Jane or S-A-P-H-I-Jane on Twitter tagged us. Yeah. This picture, which is pretty great. That's a Canada first hat with a very unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on your perspective,

placed hoodie obscuring the top part. If you're only listening to us, appears to say anal first. So the guy's got his priorities in line. Yeah. The only way this could hit harder is the hoodie somehow covered the R in first too. So I just said anal fist. That would have really been made a bit.

So anyway, I just want to say to our friends up north, y'all are no longer smarter and nicer than us. This pretty much ends that myth. So there we go. All right. Well, as always, producer Matt is with us. This is weekly skews. I want to remind you real quick.

If you're vaccinated and want to see me live, you can go to well-read comment. dot com for tickets and whatnot being Appleton, Wisconsin this here weekend. I hope to see y'all out there. Okay, on the show tonight, another week, another made up and absurd conservative conspiracy theory. What is it this time?

Well, apparently liberals are turning kids into cats out here. Dogs too. Let them meet from bowls, pooping boxes, putting hooves on their hands. It's wild. You name it, they're tore up about it. Also, the small town Alabama police force with a revolutionary approach to

generating revenue. Stealing from people. All right, maybe it's not all that revolutionary, but either way, they're doing it. We're going to talk about it. All that and more on tonight's skews. First, as always, the Daily Dumbass. Matt, graphic, please. Tonight's DD is Bet Midler for insulting West Virginians, an action which prompted an immediate, concise, erudite, and appropriate response from the state's governor, Jim which you will see right here to be here they told every bad joke in the world

about us and so from that standpoint baby dog tells vet middler and all those out there kiss her honey oh we're butthole heavy on this episode up we're top top loaded front loaded with butthole stuff here's this way we didn't plan that but what are you going to do we we know our lane bud uh so if you don't know what bet mdler did was after joe mansion refuses for the bullback better act she uh called west virginians quote poor illiterate and strung out which really only two of those are true and you can pick which two depending on the day right but like it's like no we love you west Virginia, which is what we're making fun about Miller here.

But, uh, the, but the, but through up this, the steel image is even better because the freeze, the, the face, like, everything about this is really funny, because you've got, you've got a guy saying, we're not dumb hillbillies. Right. Here's my dog's,

and this guy is smart and he, but he's wearing an ill-fitting suit presenting his dog's butthole arguing we're not weird ill-belies. I don't love it so much. You know, you throw down with West Virginians, you're going to see some dog's buttholes. that's just part of the that's all in the game yeah no i'm uh yeah i'm not with what bet midler did because of the way she went about you know joe mansion sucks sure and a lot of them do but don't

just call them all illiterate strung out hillbillies or whatever again they're i'm sure they would tell you like that's only like two-thirds of us or something like a lot of us are cool you know yeah no i mean i feel like everybody i know from west virginia you'd be like that's not fair i mean i do got cousins yeah but the uh that guy what's his what's the governor's name jim justice just yeah yeah so like we've talked about him before because he actually kind of hits

for me because like he does he he went there's these exasperated vaccine uh uh COVID updates where he just was continually shitting on people from not getting vaccinated so he has a Republican he's pro coal and that sucks but he's kind of funny sometimes so I go to that time yeah so all right well in keeping with the themes see the conservative politicians

they're really upping their speech game they're just getting better at the at the podium you know as you saw with the dog's butthole here and then also this new approach from uh an iowa state congressman right yeah when it comes to these gun grabbing freedom hating over-regulating civil liberty violating tyrants here's my message thank you if you're listening it was the classic double bird they blurred it out they blurred the birds but he just flipped everybody off and then left so going going full done WWA with it.

Yeah. It's not like, yeah, he's ex-Poc right there, right? So the thing it kills me is like, all right, so there was a viral clip from Newsmax that chose not to use it

because it was otherwise boring, but to get, Greg Kelly was going on a rant about how on American it is for Pepsi to have Snoop Dog and Dr. Dre on the Super Bowl halftime show because they, when they were 20 in their 20s,

you know, 35 years ago, they said F the police. Now, this this guy's also saying fuck the government I just want consumers to make a list over what parts of the government were supposed to were allowed to tell to fuck off and which ones are not because I'm getting very

confused at this point is this guy on patriotic I don't know here's what I do know about him he's a fucking dog murderer somebody dug this up when he was running for the state house this guy told this story so this guy was his neighbor posted story it sent this letter into the paper about he watched this guy

hit a dog and not stop so he chased him down and when he got when a guy got home around the corner he said hey did you know you hit a dog and a guy basically was like it's no big deal he says you go back and talk to the young boy who's dog he killed he told him to mad his own business and said actually i'm related to that kid don't worry about it so he's like wait you killed your relatives fucking dog and didn't stop that seems worse anyway so the guy posted on facebook about it and then he went on uh he started sending the guy threatening messages telling him to take his facebook post down probably because he's planning to run for the house anyway this guy's all around now asshole, fuck him, but not because he flipped off the government.

I don't care about that. Just don't be killing dogs. A lot of dog stuff going on this episode, too. And you just like I said, that guy's an asshole. It's just dogs and assholes, man. That's what we got tonight. Yeah. But yeah, that's a wild story.

I know this is dark and fucked up, but it's just true. That happened to me when I was a kid, but with our cat. And it was our neighbor who was a drunken dip shit, who I'm sure was hammered while driving and I was standing in the yard just standing right there and he just he just fucking plowed it and just kept going never never never look back but that guy was a you know like I said drunken pill billy maniac this guy probably also is that but he's a congressman so you know yeah yeah let's uh what do we got next oh yes uh next honorable mention for daily dumb ass is uh this guy's medical stool for not

medical school for not having better stammering classes. This is the, this is DeSantis's Surgeon General appointee or nominee or whatever. Nominee, yes. This is confirmation hearing. His name is Joseph Lidopo, I think is how you say. And if he looks familiar to you, he was one of the group of frontline doctors who were the anti-vax group with MDs, who Trump would bring up to talk at the Capitol a lot. So the context of this clip is he was asked at, I guess, a hearing in the state Congress of Florida are vaccines effective against in this pandemic he rambles for 40 seconds without answering it and then this happens that vaccines in fighting against a pandemic like COVID-19 are effective

you recognize thank you for your question Senator. So again, I would say that the question is a scientific one, and it's one that is answered with data. So the question is informed by data on specific outcomes and specific therapies. So that's the scientific question. That's the scientific question. Mr. Chair, just a couple more follow-up. Just a yes or no, do vaccines work in fighting against COVID-19? Yes or no? You recognize.

Senator, I just, as a scientist, you know, I, I, I am compelled to answer the scientific question. And I'd be happy to answer any specific scientific question that you have related to vaccines and, COVID-19. Here go. Do vaccines, does the, do the vaccines against preventing COVID-19? Yes or no? Recognized. Okay.

Well, thank you again, Senator. So, you know, yes or no questions are not. All right. You got a blind in science. So I will. He's not going to answer the fucking question. These people are fucking infuriating, man. Like, I know what he's trying to say.

So it's like, if you have a specific question about the vaccines, I would love to answer that. And she's like, okay, well, I do. Seems like it's among the most specific and simplistic questions. One could ask you about these vaccines, in fact, which is, are they effective at fighting COVID-19 or not? And then he's just like, well, see, as a scientist, I can't. I've got to, it's got to be more data driven than just, I can't just. And then he does that for a minute and a half. and that's the whole deal.

What he wants to do is the typical anti-vax dance here to try to not sound anti-vax. He wants to be like, well, for 14-year-olds who have no other core morbidity, they actually doesn't improve their odds of survival that much because they're most likely, he wants to get into that bullshit, but she's asking a broad question so he fucking can't. Right. He's like, because the answer is in general, yes, everyone's better off for the vaccine. It's just like that that is what it is. And nothing's perfect. I know people have breakthrough cases.

They're all fine now. But, you know, whatever. Fuck this guy. fuck ronda santis uh i i i hate i hate bullshit more than i hate liars for whatever reason yeah and uh yeah fuck this guy for bullshitting yeah for sure all right next up we got uh anybody who thought don junior wouldn't be ready for a zombie apocalypse that's right he's prepping already you see it right here see what he's got going on guys you've heard about the infamous chainsaw bayonet it is real i haven't we're going to put it to read

So, okay. Yeah, if you're listening to podcast version, that's as a minute, there's a submachine gun, I don't know what to get, MP15, or I don't know, it's a really it's a small one, and he's got a bayonet in the front that is an electric chainsaw. Now, I want you to think of the things that could be used for that where it's actually useful. And I have been thinking all day, and I haven't come up with one yet. So, I guess you have a very small tree you need to shoot down before getting at a very short shootout with a very small number of people that can be killed with a small caliber bullet. Right.

Yeah, I was thinking like, you know, you're clearing some brush and you're attacked by 50 or 60 wild hogs or whatever, which, as you recall, it's something I would not worry about if you're done. Yeah, that would especially. You do not want to be fighting feral hogs with that little piece of shit, first of all. No, I don't think of parologs, period. I wouldn't take him against feral hogs regardless of what he's packing. But yeah, no, I don't know. He's just, he's been whiling out lately, not that that's all that weird, but he's just, he's just always going on there on the internet and just saying crazy shit.

I don't know where he gets that from, but he seems a little, a little koki or something. Got a little bit of that going on. I don't know. I figured out what you'd use that weapon for. Okay, I got you straight. What you do is, it's if you need to. saw down a single bonsai tree but we're having a shootout with 20 miniature

yakuza. There you go. That's what's for. All right, so let's see what else we get. It does look cool, though, which I guess is the points anyway, yeah. Yeah, but Preishman had pointed out it didn't sound, I guess because it's an electric chainsaw. It doesn't and it got like the whole leather face sound or the slim, shady sound

that you want from a chainsaw, in my opinion. They need to do something about that. But anyway, that would just be, that would be my Yelp review. on the chainsaw bayonet. So his daddy had another rally in Texas, went pretty good unless you are the governor of Texas, in which case it went like this. Please welcome the governor of the great state of Texas.

Liar Rabbis! All right. Okay, Matt, but, uh. He did not turn around, though. Yes, he did. So I was going to say, he figured out the key. He cracked the code to how to get this, uh, this Trump rally crowd behind him. Uh, and it's, you know, pretty straightforward.

Let's see, let's see what he went with here, Matt. Are you ready for Donald Jason? Trump. Donald J. Trump is ready for you. How about them cowboys? Donald J. Trump loves the great state of Texas. Just started U.S.A. chant. Yeah. And Texans love President Donald J. Trump. So he just literally starts repeating Trump's name over and over again because he figured it out every time you say Donald Trump's name, like, you know, they go, you know, they hear Trump, they go, woo, you know, they hear Abbott, they go boo. So he said, I'll just, I'll just start saying his name instead. Seems to work about okay for him. I'm off top of my head. I read

some reporter counted. I think you said Trump's name 60 times in 16 minutes. And to my year, every single one of them had the Donald J in it, which is like, seems. I feel like he literally called him Donald J. Trump the first time. And they, they, you know, they. cheered as opposed to hissing for the first time since he was up there and so he just he just went with that exact iteration of his name every time you know he found something that worked for him um so so the whole sorry i was going to say the whole trump rally was wild um that saw interviews with flat earthers uh don junior was out there signing his dad's book because his dad was too busy although people were still kissing him um there were there were a couple speakers that said they were

going to getter tattoos if enough people at the rally follow them on getter which is the you know the trumps the nazi social media site and then they were but they were interrupted by a pre-recorded message from Donald trump plugging his book then they then they're then our home boy the big guy came out and said part of everyone for january 6 which is the news everyone's already already seen but this was probably my favorite part matterola's cliff they'll have to change the name of the detroit tigers because they don't want to it's unfair to use the word tiger you know they're changing the name of the Cleveland Indians. Can you believe that one?

Can you believe that? They're changing the name of the Cleveland Indians. So I guess Tiger is probably at play also. Everything's at play. If you let these people get away with it, they'll destroy your whole country, okay? It's crazy. This is not even worth making fun of,

but this is like the movement buying for Papas. It's like, buy Papas format Papas. It's like the dumbest fucking complaint. Cleveland, we made a fun of this before, but sports teams changed their name. It doesn't matter. It's not tearing your country apart to fucking rename the Cleveland Indians who gives it shit. Fuck you. But also, it's like, if he had said, like, the Kansas Sea Chiefs or Florida State Seminoles

or something like that, I'd be like, okay, I get what he's doing here. And I guess I still do because he is who he is. But, like, tigers, what's the tigers are speaking out about their own oppression? Now, I'm not saying we don't oppress tigers, you know, they're animal. We oppress the shit out of tigers. But I don't think they're like rallying to, you know, have their name stop being appropriated. It's also not like, it's not, tiger's not a slur for a striped big cat. That's just what it's called.

Yeah. You know? So my wife lived in Singapore for a while and she refuses to go to zoos anymore because whenever she visited a couple of zoos in Asia. And like, those are basically open air zoos where you can walk up and pet the animals and take pictures of them. The reason you can do that is because they're heavily fucking sedated. right yes we do oppress tigers which is they have actual problems which is why they're not complaining about the name of the fucking Detroit baseball team also they're tigers and can't talk and stuff yeah there's that too but if they could talk they got bigger issues so this kind of leads into I do want to watch the last one real quick because it's also related it's this thing that's happening with them now where they're talking about how we are canceling everything you know that they like and also inventing shit that they don't like, and like the radical left is just out of control.

We're trying to cancel tigers now. We turn the M&Ms, not sex anymore, Dr. Seuss, potato head, all that. Here is a new one, right here from Candace Owens, new one to me anyway, about Minnie Mouse. We're coming from Minnie Mouse's skirt. Yeah, apparently. Apparently. This is why people don't take these people seriously.

They're taking all of these things that nobody was offended by. It's like they have to get rid of them and destroy them because they're bored. You know, they're absolutely bored. They're trying to destroy fabrics of our society, pretending that there's issues. So everybody looks over here. Look at Minnie Mouse. Don't look at Inflation, Jesse. Look at Minnie Mouse.

The world is going forward because you've got her in a pantsuit. Never mind that you can't get anything at the grocery store and you can't buy a piece of bacon unless you've got $30 in your pocket. At least we're addressing the real problem, which is Minnie Mouse. That's right. We've gone off on this before, I know, but like it's so wild. me how like how kind of close she is to being self-aware or to being correct about it. You know what I mean? Because it's like, that's exactly how we feel.

Yeah, we do have actual problems. Why are you all screaming about Minnie Mouse's pants? You know what I mean? Like you spend all this time on outrage or shit that's just made up and is totally irrelevant instead of the things that matter, which is their argument for why we shouldn't put pants on mini mouse or something. Yeah. The funny joke I saw about this is somebody said they called

Mini Mousin a pants suit, Hilary Rottom Mouse, which I thought was funny. But the idea that she has a lot of things going on there. One, the idea that Disney put pants on Minnie Mouse for any other reason than to sell more Minnie Mouse dolls. And two, that it's part of an orchestrated campaign by the Biden White House who, I guess, controls Disney. Right.

I don't know. It doesn't find it. I don't know. And also, I just bought bacon the other day. It didn't cost me $7.30 for bacon. So. Yeah. It's almost like they're completely full of shit. So on that note, we'll get into the first big topic today.

It's related. Again, it's their newest big conspiracy theory that's happening. It's truly disturbing, Mark. So, yeah, critical horse theory is what we're going to talk about. So I ended up in a fun wormhole the other day trying to figure out what the fuck these people are talking about. Because Texas Monthly had this. I used to live in Texas. I still follow a lot of Texas media.

Texas Monthly had this article titled Texas GOP candidates, new claim school cafeteria tables are being lowered for furries. So this article, this Pullman's running for the Texas State House, just tweeted out this claim that the cafeteria tables being lowered for furries so they could eat with their faces out of bowls because they're identifying as cats and dogs. Now, they called up her to see what the fuck she's talking about. to respond for comment and then they call up the school and be like hey is this true and they're like our tables don't even lower

yeah we couldn't do that if we wanted to do that so the reporter yeah so the reporter dug around trying to figure what the fuck she's talking about she found this video from michigan where a parent uh it's not this is just a texas thing a parent went to a school board meeting and said this so it was like okay this is the origin played the video that man Agenda that is being pushed through our schools is just my opinion, but somewhat nefarious when it comes to some of the activities. So let's talk about furries. It was addressed by a child a couple months ago that they are put in an environment where there are kids that identify as a furry, a cat or a dog, whatever. And so yesterday I heard that at least one of our schools in our town has a, in one of the unisex bathrooms, a litter box for the kids that identify as cats. And I am really disturbed by that.

And I will do some more investigation on that. I know what's going on nationwide. I know it is. It's part of the agenda that's being pushed. I don't even want to understand it. What? That's what I'm saying. They're on to us, Mark.

The cat, who's actually a child, is out of the bag. put in an environment like that. They know what we're trying to do. You know, I'm all for creativity and imagination, but when somebody lives in a fantasy world and expects other people to go along with it, I have a problem with that. So I'm just putting that out there.

I will investigate more. Yeah, I bet you'll do some serious investigative journalism here. This lady is. So the furries are interesting community, and they do exist. They have conventions where they dress up like animals and hang out together. But I don't know.

personally, as far as I know, no judgment, if any of you are furies. But so one of these reporters called up a furry leader of a furry group and talked to them, and it was like, well, furries don't identify as animals. It's like, it's like you dress up like, you know, Han Solo

to go to Comic Con. It's like you're a fan of Rocket Raccoon from Guardians of the Galaxy, so you dressed up as a raccoon. You're not identified as a raccoon. You're not going to live as a raccoon. You just want to have sex while dressed as a raccoon. Well, the sex part, my understanding, standing is that the horny sex people furries

are a much smaller, a smaller subset of them. It's not a sex thing for most of them. But regardless, you still are a person who shits like a person and not in a fucking litter box. You don't demand a litter box. Also, like the idea that schools would accommodate that, like, dude, my high school

didn't even have doors on the stalls in the boys' bathroom. You know what I mean? It's just like you're shit in front of the rest of them, like a man. All right? Man's shit in front of each other. We're going to do hide behind the door like a pussy. You know, like that. I can, of course, I went to Salina High School in Salina, Tennessee. But my point is the idea that these schools, I'm assuming public schools, will be bending over backwards for these, like, very demanding furry children that they have, you know, so many of.

It's wild to me that people hear this shit and believe it, because they clearly, the first lady in Texas, when they, she said she was, she's just relaying what she was told by a concerned parent. It's like, okay, so you saw that on Facebook somewhere. And then you just state it as fact. which is how all of this shit works. But it's why I mean that they hear this and they're like, here they come, here come the liberals turning kids into fucking sheep and stuff. Well,

not dogs, literal sheep, wearing wool, fucking humping, doing all that stuff. We talked before about the critical race theory stuff about how like all this stuff is sort of so paranoid. Like you've never actually talked to a teacher

about what their day-to-day problems are like or what they're actually up to. I think the idea that they have the time to indoctrinate your children. But these people is like, have you met an actual kid? you live your whole life in middle school and high school trying to avoid being made fun of or having this sort of attention drawn to you like you would not shit in a litter box even if you were dying to shit in a litter box like again i'm hardly shit at school but there weren't no doors on the stalls so like yeah but yeah you fucking yeah that too a hundred percent i'm sure there's you know there's probably some kids in high school out there really into that furry shit and again that's fine but they're not gonna be just parading that

around making demands that the school, you know, go out of their way to accommodate them for the reasons you just said. It's like, that ain't, ain't how I remember high school working. Nobody in my high school showered after gym because nobody wanted to be seen with their pants off in front of them. Nobody wants to be made fun of that idea that you're going to drop trow and fucking squat like a cat. And there's like a fox tail sticking out of your butt hole or something and you're just going to roll with that as a high school kid. Yeah, I don't know. But I don't know where old Markell might. It's what I'm so they hear these things and they're like, that's of course like they hear this and they're like of course they are of course

the radical left that's what they've done to these kids won't somebody please think of the children and it's just wild to me being the type of person to hear something so outrageous like that and just think to yourself i knew it you know what i mean it's wild they hear these stories on the internet automatically believe them and then assume it's the kids who were in a mental health crisis uh right so we i thought oh i thought oh the michigan things you origin of this story. Nope. It's neither the origin nor the end of it. Because buckle up, this is a story from late last summer from Mead County, Kentucky, which is a population of 28,000 southwest of Louisville. Headline, Kentucky School District, students are dressing and acting like cats.

Do they know that that's actually just a cat? Like, they know that's not, that's not a child with a cat suit on. That's just a cat. See, it seems they've been misled to me. Okay, so that's what's happened here. There's just some cats in the school. and they're like, oh, fuck, that liberal kids dressed up like a cat. Well, now I get it. Okay. Well, there's a few funny things about that story, including that picture, because the source for this story is one concerned grandparent who said the kids were passing around pictures of people of kids dressed like cats. Now, if he had pictures of people dressed like cats, where is the fucking picture lady?

Where is the picture? Because it's not in the news story. Also, fuck that news website in Kentucky. So she hears this woman. This woman's so funny. this is this quick concern Grandmother who asked to remain anonymous I don't even know she fucking exists

Apparently from what I understand I call furries she said They identify with animals These people were hiss at you or scratch you If they don't like something you're doing Which is honestly fucking hilarious Now here's the extra funny thing to this This story appears to actually have some truth

To it because they call up the superintendent This is really really funny He said a petition isn't needed The costumes violate the school dress code Quote a small number of Mead County high school students Have violated a dress code policy In the early part of the school year they've been addressed consistently and addressed co-policy will continue to be implemented

finality and then he told it basically was told the reporter to fuck up but so so some kids dressed here's what I've got to tell you a quick story trait so my buddy John one of my best friends in high school he decided to troll the teachers and see how crazy he had to act to be sent to counseling so he started he started off wearing paper bag shoes to school we worked at the we worked at a grocery store together you were paper bag shoes to school that didn't work. They're just like, oh, John's being weird again.

So he had his own Spanish book because his parents both taught in a school district. And he, he, so he, his parents were teachers in the school

where he's doing this shit? His mom was a guiding counselor at the middle school. So he knew what he, I think it's one of the reasons he's trying to get sent to the guidance counselor. Yeah, right.

Knowing his mom who knew he was acting. So he burned his Spanish book and kept, pretended to read it in class, he was just charred ash, still nothing. So then he found a dead lizard

and he, he stapled it in the Spanish book. He named it Pepe and would drag it around on a leash, like talking to it like it was a lie of his burned Spanish book in his paperbag shoes. They finally called him in the office and be like, John, we know you're not crazy. What the fuck are you doing? He's like, so, okay, so you quit. Anyway, these kids are trolling and they've set off a national moral panic.

And here's how nationally. Maybe, but I've seen, you know, I don't know what the kids are out here doing, Mark, but I know that there's like. little like cat ear things that like you can and it's not it ain't full on furry shit it's like an accessory that has cat ears maybe has LED lights on it or something yeah whatever you know what I mean like there's it's possible that even if a couple girls saw some and thought they were cool and more cat ears to school and that's it that you still could end up in this scenario where it's like an epidemic of cats or kids believe in their cats now.

Yeah, my wife's easy, quickie DIY Halloween costume is a pair of cat ears on like a hair band and then a t-shirt with this leopard print that says this is a cat costume. This might probably that level of cat outfit, right? Right. So this is when that first text month took, this is nationwide, okay, this is what we've discovered. Okay. So that first Texas monthly story included this little tidbit in October and Idaho talk radio station ran a report that says students who claim to be furries were being excused from their homework

because, quote, Pauls and hooves can't give a pencil and struggle with the keyboard input. So this should be trolling shit. Yes. If that one has any truth at all, that's 100% some your buddy John stuff right there.

Yes. And it's also pretty fucking funny, in my opinion. If they're doing that, it's like, why identify as a horse? And, you know, horses have hooves,

so I can't possibly type the SATs or what. Exactly. This feels like a TikTok challenge. they're fucking confused this shit out of parents. So anyway, they got somebody called the superintendent up and said he said, nobody's been disruptive

during class, and quote, he added that such a claim would not exempt a student from homework, because of course it fucking wouldn't. So anyway, this kid's plan to troll didn't even work. There was another report from Iowa that school boards are considering a place in litter box in the bathrooms. In Canada,

our good friends in Canada are back again. Public school director to the media to connect similar to rumors of this community to a backlash around accommodations that is school recreated for transgender students. And there we are back to what this is actually about. So anyway. Probably going to use this to ban animal farm sometime soon, you know. Yeah. Add it to the list of books you can't have because of furry panic or whatever.

Yeah. All the richest scary books got to go. Oh, yeah. The kids are all right, man. A big fan of these kids. these parents are dipshits. Yeah. That shit is wild.

Okay. I wonder what it's going to be next week. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. People are having too much fun. They're like, oh,

they'll fix it soon. They'll get to something. So to bleed. Don't worry. We know this show. It's going to be something upsetting around the corner. Yeah. Cops in Alabama,

Mark Small Town, Alabama. Up to some bullshit. Yeah. So this story from some intrepid local reporters in Alabama. went national. Let's start with this scene setting clip from CNN, which picked up the story of Matt, if you got it. The local media outlet, AL.com, between 2018 and 2020, under Brookside Police Chief Mike Jones, income from fees and forfeitures increased by 640%.

The outlet says the money amounts to half of the town's total income, or roughly $1.2 million. All right. So this is a town of 1,200 people just north of, yeah, about hacking outside of Birmingham. They reported just 55 serious crimes of the state in an eight-year period. None of them were murders or rapes. But still, this town that when their police chief got hired, he was the only cop in the town. They now have 14. This town has six miles total of roads and a mile and a half of jurisdiction on interstate 22. Despite that, they've made more misdemeanor arrests than it has residents in 2020 and went from 2050 vehicles in 2018 to 789 in 2020, each carrying fines. That was a 500% increase in fines, 1.7 toes for every household in town.

They started seasoned cars during traffic stops, which doubled from 2018 to 2019. In 2020, they came close to $610,000 in revenue as 49% of the entire town skyrocketing revenue. Yeah, so this guy is really on one. By the way, the national average for the ratio of cops in the country is about one cop every 600 residents. So that town now is 14 for 1,200. That's a cop. It's about six times the cop-to-person ratio. My town was like that, and I don't know, it never occurred to me that it might be some shit like this.

I mean, I was just a kid, and we just hated how many goddamn cops we had. But, like, Salinas, around 1,000 residents, and I don't know exactly, but between, like, county and city cops when I lived there, I guarantee you it was at least 10 or 11. And there also was a highway patrol office in Salinas, so there were state troopers. I know we barely had highways, dude. There was no interstate or nothing like that. But it was a lake town, so in the summer there were tourists and stuff. and I don't know looking back maybe they were

pulling some shit like this too fucking with the tourists a lot or something like that maybe it was around it just always we were just like this is horseshit why there's so many goddamn cops

but like I never considered what the actual reason was but my town was like that too so might be some shit like this I don't know I'll show you some reasons and what they did with the money a second but some other stuff

besides hiring a bunch of cops but about that about that personnel ratio this sheriff's I want to give this guy some credit I guess he gets some pretty fire quotes in this article because he disapproves this policy. I want to make that clear before we read this quote because it sounds like he's excited about the idea. What the sheriff said was, I could take over the whole country with numbers like that. Which he's fucking right.

You could occupy a country with a 100 to one troop to, you know, occupied people ratio. So anyway, getting back to how they'd spend that money. Here's a clip from CNN about some shit they do. Remember, a town of 1,200 people. I need to tell you this for frame of reference. The only corporate tax base in this entire town is a single dollar general. Yeah, they have only, yeah. Again, it's just like my hometown.

They said there's no traffic lights. There's no retail or anything other than a dollar general. Again, it literally sounds exactly like Salina where I'm from. Yeah. One dollar general in this town, 1,200 people, and this is what they did with this money. Has a lot of cops to police it. Brookside is only about three miles long and has just over 1,200 residents. But the police here, they feel the need for,

At least three SWAT vehicles. Not only that. They also have a tank, which looks brand new. What the fuck. Yeah. That is so audacious, man. Like, I mean, of course it ended up on CNN. Like, that shit is, that is wild.

What the hell are they doing with that tank? I'm not trying to pick on Alabama here, but, like, they could spend that money on schools. You look at Nationwide Rankers for Test scores and stuff. They could probably, there are places you could really use that money. So the town with no traffic lights collected $500 in fines and forfeitures in 2020 for every man, woman, and child. Yeah, but these are, it's mostly, isn't it mostly like out of town

people driving through, because an interstate goes through or by this town, right? And I'm reading the article of stuff. It's like they're mostly harassing people that are coming through or like, you know. all that is not just coming from the residents like we talk about capita and stuff they're like harassing outsiders a lot well trade they don't unless you have out of state license plates they don't know and plus you have a year to change your license plates you move so they're just harassing fucking everyone

regardless and a bunch of law students filed against them in complaints say that they're pulling over people miles outside of town they're just hunting infractions right do and don't exist and by the way I want to say they don't exist they need a ton of people in the in these in this article who's got eventually got dropped when they had the money to fight them but most people don't have the money to fight them which is the fucking problem at the point um it's it's just like like they arrested a passenger in a car for not having her ID with her which is not remotely a crime right eventually his charges got dismissed when she went to court and raised her hand and said I didn't commit a crime like oh yeah you're right we looked it up

and it's not a crime um one of the things they ticket about 500 people for was just driving in the left lane right um not speeding not blocking traffic just exactly existing in the left lane. Now, Alabama did pass, and this kind of hits for me, because I don't like people to slow down traffic by driving by driving the left lane. They did pass an anti-road rage bill in the middle of that stretch where they pulled over all those people, making illegal to block the left lane for more than a mile and a half. But the cops in court when questioned openly admitted they didn't follow them that far. So they didn't have no idea if they even broke the fucking law. Anyway, another thing, you know they're doing, another way you know they're doing something fucked up is they, in the police or sports, they used code names.

this one police report, they call themselves Agent J.S and Agent A.R. Now, hopefully those are initials and not AR short for AR-15, but I don't fucking know. Yeah. But anyway, you cannot- Agent shit, too. Like, it's not officer or deputy or whatever. It's agent, because that's cooler, Mark. That's one more bad.

Agents are cooler than deputy. Everybody knows that. So, agent code name. I cannot, like, okay, so one of the things we talked about before, we used to be a reporter, and sometimes people will complain about the stuff that's in a newspaper saying, well, why do you have this person's address? Why do you say where they live? Why do you say so many details of the crime? Those come from arrest war affidavits and search warrant affidavits, which are documents the government has to file to make

its case to the public letting them know why they're using state authority to crush a person, right? You can't just arrest people and put a fake name on a fucking government document. You have to say who you are and what you're accused of the moment. If you're two chickens shit to do that, go do another job. Go be the security guard of that dollar job. general. It's only got one of them, but they've been shoplifted all to hell. But the, God, this story drives me crazy. Here's another element of this. What they were doing to squash dissent besides having a fucking tank in a count of 1200 people was they were scrolling social media and threatening people with arrest who complained about the cops on Facebook.

So this woman posted on Facebook. She's in the other article, the first article too, but she said what she did was she flashed her lights someone to let another they were they were approaching a speed trap some cops saw her they charged her in an unmarked SUV came bounding out of an unmarked clothes they couldn't even tell she was a cop took her phone away from her destroyed it threatened to arrest her and they did ticket her when she complained about him in facebook they said they said her Facebook posts were threats she had incited a riot and slanted to blow side police department in her Facebook post and this cop told her that quote his police chief was mad you don't get to arrest people because you're fucking mad no it's not supposed to work it's also it's funny they've got so many cops that they some of them are patrolling facebook you know not just the street like it's like fucking cops and over eating the donut talking shit on facebook's like what are you doing i'm on patrol i got uh i got the facebook beat today making sure to squash this dissent and, you know, intimidate the citizens.

Look, here's a small tip to the cops out there. The whole reason you scroll social media at work is to fucking not do work. Stop harassing people on Facebook because you think it's part of your job. Anyway. Yeah, but it's just a job, Mark. It's a passion. It's a way of life, buddy. Yeah.

It's what you don't understand about it. Say, it's deeper than that. So, I brought up the problems with that, you know, the underfund. of schools and stuff all over the south, but especially Alabama is one of the worst. And so I thought this part of the story was fairly poignant. Here's a quote to the CNN story where they interviewed this woman from that. He's an activist. Nelson with the social justice nonprofit, Alabama Appleseed, says Alabama doesn't generate

enough revenue from taxation. So public policy incentivizes cities and counties to get that revenue another way. And the path of least resistance is very often ticketing people for low-level offenses. Brookside residents wonder if these old tactics will continue under a new chief. Nelson said, the social justice nonprofit, Alabama Appleseed. Yeah. There you have it. Corporations and rich people don't want to pay taxes, so cost don't make enough money.

It's what they do is they steal it from other people who are other services are underfunded. That's basically just the story. So they said what they're in America. Yeah. The fees are making some quick back of the envelope of math here. Those fees are making up $600,000. of the city's $1.2 million budget, right? Let's say, like you said,

they're probably taking a bunch of out-town people, too. Let's say 300,000 of that comes for people in town. Let's say half, only half. 1,200 people live there. So was that close to $3,000? A person, man, woman, and child coming out of their pockets to buy cops fucking tanks. This is not a rich city.

These are people going dead broke to buy the cops' toys. Yeah. But, Mark, think about how cool that tank looks in the homecoming parade, you know, when they put a nice float on it, you know, a bulldog or whatever the mascot is, roll it down the town square. It's going to be pretty, that's going to be pretty sweet.

You know, we didn't have a tank in our homecoming parade, and this town does. So, you know, you should think about that. Maybe that's how we sell this is, like, to people by reording our priorities to things that make sense. It's like, if we sold the tank, we could buy the high school football team's pads. Right. Right? And then we win more football games. The roll tied, baby.

Come on, man. Alabama. Alabama, that's right. everything comes back to football. Anyway, after the story came out last week, the police chief suddenly resigned. They won't say why because they say it's a personnel matter. I imagine they're trying to like squash some the heat from this

because lieutenant governors come out and request an audit of Brooksdale's town and police force and lawmakers across party lines have called for bills to help curb small town policing for profit on Alabama interstates. So maybe some good could come with this fucking horse shit. But this is six years after Ferguson. And if you remember the federal crackdown on Ferguson, after the, you know, the murder there and people dug into their finances,

so they were doing the same kind of shit arresting everybody so they could buy themselves toys and give themselves raises. And the federal government cracked down on Ferguson, which led to a nationwide revolt of cops who said they were going to arrest anybody if they weren't allowed to arrest anybody they want. So here we go again, circle of times a flat circle. Absolutely. Yeah. All right, Matt, you can start throwing up some comments and stuff.

As you see them, I would like to remind everybody, look at this, I'm remembering on my own. Like and subscribe and all that stuff. Hit the like, you know, leave a, if you're on the audio version, leave us a five-star review, all that, all that good shit. We really appreciate it. It helps us out, algorithms and whatnot, computer stuff. Y'all know how it is. I don't. But anyway, yeah, hit the light button.

Be awful cool of you. And, Mark, you were going to, you're going to say something about the Supreme Court deal or waiting on this? Yeah, we're waiting on comments. So the argument about the Supreme Court qualifications in Biden's hypothetical nominee who's going to be a black woman, I've read the woman's most likely nominee's name. I can't remember off the top of my head. It's like because not, I can't remember it either. I don't want to try it. Yeah.

Yeah. But that's sort of beside the point. I haven't read much better background, but Amy Coney Barrett had never tried a case. Had never been a judge for 2017. She's in the court. Because let's circle back here. There are no constitutional requirements to be. a Supreme Court justice.

The idea that you have to be some sort of genius to sit on the Supreme Court. And by the way, just because this one person is a black woman, she could absolutely be a genius. I'm tired of even fucking having that discussion about, like, whether they can't be qualified if you set some parameters. So this law blog alike named Lawyers, Guns and Money broke down this fucking the math of it. And basically, they were making the argument that being Supreme Court justice is a really

easy fucking job, which it really is. You don't have to try cases. You go to work for six months. a year, two days a week, your clerks do all your writing. You do have to know some stuff about the law, but when they say qualifications, what they want are people are overqualified, see to the point they, in a specific way, they see everything in these sort of abstractions that are hypothetical and not what they're doing to people's lives on the ground.

I would much for a regular person with a community college degree or a bachelor's degree and no legal training whatsoever, who would sit up there and hear some fucked up shit that a corporation or a cop did and be like, man, that's fucked up. We've got to stop that. As opposed to somebody being like, well, actually, according to the case of 1824, you need to have, the test for this case. I don't, I don't fucking care. Stop the fucked up shit and let it, you know, yeah.

Anyway, but they want us to think they're super qualified genius wizards. So when they do something counterintuitive that ruins our lives, we just assume they must have the credibility to do it. It's part of the mystique for the institution. I think it's bullshit. If they suck, they suck. They're good. They're good.

That's the end of it. Right on. Linda Allwell, Medina from Facebook, says DeSantis is refusing to denounce the Nazis that were protesting in Orlando this weekend. Well, you know, good people on both sides, Linda. We all heard that. No, I don't, but DeSantis is a kind of part of the course for him, I feel like. Well, he's in a vibe because a lot of conservatives in Florida are Jewish. So a bunch of Nazis protested in Orlando, and he was asked about it, and he instead said,

I'm not falling in this political trap where Democrats are trying to play games. I was essentially trucks of it. Meanwhile, his directs. His political trap of denouncing Nazis, you know what I mean? He's like, ah, you're not going to get me with that old chestnut. I'm not better than to denounce Nazis. I'm a conservative. Yeah.

Anyway, his director's communication essentially said it was a false flag operations by liberals to trap DeSantis into like being this really rock and a hard place spot where he has to either denounce Nazis or look like one. Right. Doesn't seem like that big of a trap. to me. Yeah. That's what I'm saying.

Seems like a pretty straightforward decision. False flags. Again, Dave, we're just, we're really excelling at false flags recently. Between that, between all these false flags and turning all these kids into fucking pot belly pigs and stuff, like,

I don't know how any of us have time to do anything else, you know? Liberal agenda, really going strong lately. Any thoughts on Joe Rogan? My main thought is, like, we have a culture, get caught up and thinking about,

specific people way too much. Like, like, here's a big meta takeaway. The people, the reason people yell at Spotify over this shit like this is because the government's completely non-responsive. Like, I'm not saying the government's doing anything about Joe Rogan. I'm saying we take all our frustrations out of private companies because your vote change is nothing. Politicians don't do anything when you tell them to, but you can take $5 a month away

from Spotify. That's all you can do. So that's why people take it out on Spotify. I don't listen to him, I haven't in years. but like I know I feel like and I don't know maybe this isn't the point or whatever

but even if like Spotify got rid of him he'd probably arguably it'd be hitting even harder that was Tracy Martinson who said that Suzanne Bryan says Joe Rogan who so like what I mean is he was huge before Spotify

he's limited somewhat to Spotify now if he got kicked off by Spotify it's not really going to affect him or anything he does and I don't and I don't think that he should be like censored by the, I don't think he should be like completely shut down by the fucking government or

whatever, because you know, we've got free speech and shit, so I don't really like I don't see, I don't see too much of poem in it, I guess. Censorship's the wrong way to frame it to me because I think what the question people are asking, especially artists

who, we talked last week about this a little bit or getting fucked by Spotify, because artists get nothing from Spotify. It's like 0.001 cents per stream and Even though that, most of it goes to the record company. So it's like, why are you paying Joe Rogan $100 million in not paying musicians anything? It's really the, because it's hard.

They're not, no one's asked them to take Joe Rogan off. It's more like a question, why was the business decision to pay them $100 million? Now, I don't pocket why. I don't know. It's tough to wait. All this is like you get into abstractions and stuff. I think people shouldn't do vaccine misinformation. Rogan's a mixed bag because he shouldn't be doing COVID disinformation,

but also nobody else with that big of an audience is bringing on somebody to talk about the prison industrial complex for three hours or Palestinian oppression for three hours. I used to, before COVID-19, I was pretty big, or I would have been, if anybody ever asked me about it, which fewer people were doing at the time, a pretty big apologist for Rogan's podcast because I thought a lot of that at the time, that gateway to the alt-right stuff he was being accused of wasn't really fair because he would do he would fucking have Bernie on and have a really great interview or whatever and like his defense was like you know I bring on people all these different points of view and whatnot I mean it felt to me like he genuinely did and also I was like if you listen to that fucking Alex Jones interview with Joe Rogan and your takeaway is like oh man this Alex Jones is making a lot of good points then like you were already a lost cause because the dude is a fucking lunatic as far as I'm concerned so I used to be I used to kind of defend him but COVID-19, as it has to so many people in this country, has just, like, you know, made it wait.

Like, I'm not going to do any of that now with all this COVID-19 shit because he's definitely, he's clearly, like, drawn a line in the sand at this point. It feels like, you know, it's not like it used to be with him. And it's, you know, it is harmful and everything. And people have a good point, you know, and I just don't know, like I said, COVID made a lot of people crazy. I guess y'all around one of them. I think COVID I was trying to think of a way to phrase

that frame this earlier but like I like crazy people in my life I enjoy iconoclasts and contrarians I am myself wanted in certain times but in time like a pandemic that requires collective action from virtual everybody to bring it to an end they're not particularly helpful

which is why people get extra mad at them in typical times I love listening to people that I disagree with I can't tell you the number of my favorite rappers who are absolutely conspiracy theorist i got a buddy who doesn't believe in dinosaurs he's really fun to argue with i i but but right now it feels like you shouldn't be peddling uh yes even in the just asking questions sort of thing that is pretty much how i feel about it too yes because i also fused to find that shit mostly entertaining but it just it has it just has a

different context and a different kind of feel now and it ain't really the same thing anymore so Yeah, no, I'm with you on that. So, can just die, if I'm saying that right from YouTube, says, guys, Ukraine, was that last week we talked about Ukraine? Yeah, we talked for a while about Ukraine last week. I don't have any. Just a meeting that we're dumb about it. It just feels like if Russia wants to do some shit to Ukraine,

they're probably just going to and no one else will do anything about it is probably what's going to. Well, it's going to be, if an invasion happened, it's going to be one. hell for the Ukrainian civilians and too not pleasant for the Russian army because we're going to think today about how if they think Russia is going to be a kick walk I mean Ukraine's going to be a kickwalk like you know what's the Crimea or Afghanistan you know was that it's like not going to I mean Afghanistan was a kickwalk at first resistance built up later but the idea that like Russia we we just gave Ukraine a bunch of surface their missiles Poland gave them a bunch of artillery they're going to be

in the fight and it's not going to be pleasant to the they're not going to walk into Kiev and yeah they're going to make it easy for them for sure but yeah it's just just a really shitty situation all the way around obviously you know wish Russia would chill out but I don't know

they don't seem to be too into that old Putin not the most chilly guy if there's a lesson here is that countries might want to think about allowing sociopathic megalomaniacs to take power and they might send your kids to war for no fucking reason yeah all right well listen thank you all for watching again you go to well red comedy

com for tickets and whatnot if you want to save me live you can go to weekly skews.com get you a shirt and uh we got some things in the works over here at the skews we'll let y'all know about for long we're just we're looking forward to the future here we hope you are you all are as well we will see you next time right here so you love you bye