Weekly Skews - Weekly Skews 3/29/22 – Lock Him Up/Just Do Anything At All

Episode Date: March 30, 2022

It's Skewsday, and on tonight's show we'll dive into the ever-mounting pile of evidence against Trump RE January 6th, and the ever-maddening amount of NOTHING BEING DONE ABOUT IT. Also Heil-on-Wheels Cawthorn said some orgy stuff and of course...The Slap. Join us!Support the show

what's up everybody welcome back and happy skews day to you it is march 29th 22 i'm trey crowder and that's mark a g what's up mark what's up tray you you're doing good but um uh no we're going to talk to the biggest news of the week uh the slap word around the world in a second course but before we get to that uh mark meadows did a little light voter fraud? No, I did not. He'd vote for his dad papal or something? What do you do?

Yeah, so barely Trump's former chief of staff, right? So he was a congressman from North Carolina. He was in, I think he was in Madison Cawthorne's old district we're going to talk about today too. And Cawthoran ran and replaced him. But I guess he sold his house in his district when he became a full-time resident of D.C. It was no longer a congressman. But he still wanted to vote in North Carolina for whatever reason.

So he just registered him and his wife to vote at some. mobile home that he never even been to or owned or slept at. And people usually go to jail for that. Here's a interview with a reporter who figured it out. And that's voter fraud. People without his resources have been charged with doing very, very similar things that have either gone to jail or been put on probation. And it'll be interesting to see if he gets the same treatment.

I'm going to say, no. Yeah. That's also going to be a theme of the show tonight. Yeah. That just generally doesn't happen. But yeah, no, they're the most like Doth protests. too much ass people ever. But in his mind, it's like, well, no, see, I, like, sure, maybe that's technically voter fraud,

but I'm a patriot who just wanted to do that. So it's fine. It's not like I was cheating. I was just not following the rules, but, you know, that's my right as American. I'm a super citizen. You're just a regular citizen. Right. There's that old quote that conservatism, conservativeism is a belief that the law must protect one group of people

and bind another group, but also the other group should be bound but not protected. So it's like, yeah, you go to jail, I get protected. That's how the system works. Speaking of people not suffering any penalties for wild shit, well, Smith won an Oscar on Sunday. Oh, yeah? Is that all that happened? What else did he do? He also smacked a shit with a Chris Rock for making fun of his wife.

And everybody lost their goddamn mind straight. I've never seen the left, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the nuclear heat of the takes. There was like people saying that Will Smith should go to prison. There are people saying that Chris Rock deserved to get his ass kicked live on national television. There were people saying wild racial takes from libs that I could not get over. There were a lot of white people telling other white people to keep their takes out of it. And then they'd be like, and let me expand on that until you were.

that's what you should do. It's like, you realize you're giving a take right now, right? Like, your whole take is about how white people shouldn't give takes and you're a white person giving a take. But yeah, it was like when they had that big,

uh, leak of all those celebrity nudes a few years ago, right? This was like that, but for hot takes for everybody. It's just like, just, just like an atom bomb of fucking internet hot takes.

One woman was like, I wish Will Smith would get this mad about white men trying to keeping from voting is like what the fuck are you even talking it is like I just like not everything has to be a big thing it's a dude lost his shit

slapped another guy they apparently made up about it after the show and everybody can just move on with her life um the old like this and here's all through the looking glass where one of the most sane takes

I saw was from fucking Marjorie Taylor Green surely not she was basically like yeah Will Smith defendants wife and Chris Walk, Chris Walk kept the show going with no whining. Seems like everybody did fine. I was like, yeah.

She had to include some crazy shit about how Chris Will Smith was being an alpha male, which, you know, I don't necessarily think you need to consider it manly to go around smack, open fan smacking people. No, not over that especially. But yeah, Marjorie Taylor Green, that's the blind squirrel theory in full effect right there, you know. Yeah. You know, every now and then, I guess she'll land on.

But like you said, she still had to crazy. up to. But yeah, no, look, this is a little bit of a different show. We're not, uh, we're not extra over here. So I don't know how much we're going to dive into the whole subject. I know we got one other thing a little bit later, but just everybody knows on the well-read podcast this week, which Corey will put up either later today or tomorrow. We, of course, talk about it for at least like 20 minutes. Um, but yeah, like, I just like, the idea, the fact that like you shouldn't hit people, but also getting one little pop in the mouth isn't the end of your life. Seems to be two thoughts that nobody

can hold in their head at the same time. Right. Yeah. People were saying like he could have killed them and stuff and it's like, no, it was a slap. Again, dude, I've said for years because it's true, Chris Rock is my favorite comedian of all time. And the dude who

directly inspired me to even be a comedian, I love Chris Rock. I thought he handled it like a pros, pro. I didn't think he really could have handled it much better than he did. So props to Chris Rock, but like, I'm not on i'm not defending will smith i'm just saying like chris rock is fine he got slapped and he's fine he didn't almost die you know it's uh i don't know his tour immediately sold up it was awesome

forever he's gonna probably gonna have a bunch of good shit to say about it i can't let i just like i don't know this thought there's a whole class of people who you can you can tell by their general affect they've never been pushed in the face but then something like this happens and you realize oh, they think that being hit is the worst possible thing that can happen to you. And just like, I told you this other day, but my granddad, according to my dad, had a regular Saturday afternoon fist fight with the same dude every week. And the loser bought the winner beer. And it's just like.

Oh, the good old days, buddy. That is, that is some like top shelf papaw shit right there, redneck pap all shit, especially a standing Saturday afternoon. own fist fight with presumably one of his best friends who's like hey can we push the ass whooping back to four this week I got a I got a thing with the old lady earlier in the day so don't worry I'll come through it was a little brain damage come on yeah I did like I don't know like I personally am not a fighter

I think the last time I was I think maybe my adult life one shoving match I think I had one fight in seventh grade in school or whatever we were talking about each of his mom's and it got out of hand that's probably the closest thing that Chris Rock thing Also, Chris Rock didn't write that joke, people. I don't know who did, but they should be slapped for making a G.I.J.2 reference in 2022. I don't think anybody knew that I followed pop culture pretty closely for work represses. And I didn't know that Jada Pinkin had alopecia.

And just everybody just do you got slapped. Move on. Yes. Speaking of which, let's do so. So with us as always, this producer, Matt. this is weekly skews as usual i'd like to remind you real quick of two things number one if you're vaccinated want to see me live you can go to well read comedy dot com for tickets i'll be in arkansas this weekend then later in the month portland and then louisville and coming soon i'll have plenty of

new dates for you as well so stay tuned i hope to see y'all out there all right second thing if you enjoy the show and you'd like to support us and get some extra skews for doing so you can join us on Patreon. For $5 a month, you get full-length bonus episodes, including the one we're going to record later this week on the subject of secession. That's right. Still a thing, everybody, and it ain't just the South. You've got states wanting to secede from the Union.

Counties wanting to secede from states. Other counties trying to see from those kinds. People are seceding or trying to all over the place. It's, of course, insane, and we'll be talking about it this week on Patreon. So you go to weekly skews.com slash more or patreon. dot com slash tray crowder and sign up five dollars a month get a lot of extra good stuff and help to support this show which we would verily appreciate okay on the show tonight we're going to be diving into the ever mounting pile of evidence against donald trump where january sixth is concerned and the

ever maddening pile of not shit being done about it by a g merrick garland how many smoking guns does one man need we got some other fun stuff along the way for you but of course as always We will begin with the Daily Dumbass. Matt, graphic, please. Tonight's D.D., anyone who thought Louis Gomert wouldn't rail a bunch of Coke and then dive butt first into a D.C. orgy wearing nothing but an eyes wide shut mask. That's right. This according to Hile on Wheels himself, Madison Cawthorne,

who said this in a recent podcast interview. About education passed that quickly. and everything else is good aside from that i mean the sexual perversion that goes on i mean being kind of a young guy in washington i mean being kind of a young guy in washington remember the average age is probably 60 or 70 and i look at all these people a lot of them that i you know i've looked up to through my life i always paid attention to politics guys that you know then all of a sudden you get invited to like well hey we're going to have kind of a sexual get together at one of our homes you should come and i'm like what what did you just

ask me to come to you and then you realize they're asking you to come to an orgy uh or Or the fact that, you know, there's some of the people that are leading on the movement to try and remove, you know, addiction in our country. And then you watch them do, you know, a key bump of cocaine right in front of you. And it's, this is, this is, this is why. So, this is a podcast called The Warrior Poet, I guess. I don't really know anything about it. But the question was about whether Kevin Spacey's old show House of Cards was realistic. And then he launched into that.

And this was so funny. First of all, I like how it works in a compliment for himself there. Well, obviously, I'm young and hot. Right. But, like, this has been so funny because I don't believe anything this dude says. He's full of shit, right? But, well, go ahead. But Washington Republicans lost their fucking minds.

What I was going to say about this is this is literally the first time I've heard this dude say something that I immediately fully believed. Like every other time I've ever heard him talk, I'm always like, this is, this dude is more full of shit than anybody I've ever known. But I heard this and I was like, oh, I guarantee that's true. That's got to be true. You know they're up there just, dude, they're getting, they're flogging themselves. They're getting stepped on.

They're putting on diapers and getting screamed at until they cry. Like, it's ancient Greece shit up there, buddy. You just know it. You know they're filthy. Absolutely. But there's, this is, they had a closed door meeting today where Madison call for and didn't show up forward to scream at Kevin McCarthy about this. And the reason why is so funny, because all of all the other shit he's done,

this is the stuff their constituents are calling to ask and complain about. These people go to fucking Nazi rallies, QAnon on shit. Nobody says anything. But they said maybe they did something fun that hit one time and all of a sudden, everybody loses their mind because they don't want anyone thinking they're cool because they know their constituents are. Q people who might come fucking shoot them if they think they're doing weird stuff. It's funny, because you put that in outline, and I didn't even think about it that way,

but it does make sense, meaning like, I just, I just went to, you know, they're the family values party. They can't have people knowing that they, you know, get ripped and open their holes up and stuff. That's not, that's not Christ-like, you know? Like, that's where my head went. But you said, and I do believe you, that they know a big chunk of their constituents are super into Q right now and Q's whole thing focuses on like sexual perversion and sexual predation

and whatnot. So you can't be having this kind of talk swirling around you if you're pandering towards that crowd of people. Yeah. I mean like the thing to remember is like the family values mainstream people wouldn't know what Madison Cawthorn said on a podcast, but the people that are active on like our Reddit thread the Donald and QAnon forums absolutely would. But the funny thing is like, so he says, by the way, these people secretly are cool. And they go, like, actually, we're totally fucking uncool. We're extremely uncool. It got, it got, it got, it got, it got, it got, it got so heightened that one of the guys was really mad is this guy, Steve Womack from Arkansas, who apparently never talked in these meetings.

So the fact he simply stood up at this meeting shocked everyone. And he opened and he complained and said, Warner remarked that many lawmakers go to bed at 9 p.m. And still use fax machines and flip phones, stated it was inappropriate to paint them all with a broad brush. So I went from not believing anything this dude says The thing he sickly revealed the truth that they're all fucking Because the idea that there weren't orgies before fax machines I know I was going to say the same things like I don't know

I'm not in that world But I would speculate that the era of fax machines Overlapped significantly with the era of coke-fueled orgies Okay, you know what I mean? Like we're talking about the 80s All right like I feel like fax machines and coke-fueled orgies were coexisting for quite a while there that that wonderful

decade post pill and pre-aids people just cut loose man and uh yeah these these people like it's just yeah they're all doing coke and fucking i believe it though i'm fully on board uh uh but yeah they're mad they're mad at caulthorn um and he's had some other issues right like it's Yeah. How happy should we be about this guy's struggles? Is it actually going to amount to anything? Because he's had some problems. Yeah.

So he's in actual political trouble because what he did in his home district was. So the state Republicans withdrew the congressional maps. And he decided he wanted to run in an easier district. So he registered to run a different district. But then the state Supreme Court said, no, you can't gerrymander like this. And so he's like, oh, shit. So he has to go back to his old district. But a bunch of people had already filed to run, including a lady he asked to run,

who felt betrayed, and here you have a guy doing the normal thing that would get your booted out of Congress, which is basically saying, I don't like my district, I want to be somewhere else, and then come back hat and hand begging people to please vote for them. So he might not even make out of the fucking primary. So his career in politics might be a brief, wonderful, flew too close to the sun two years. But one thing I wanted to mention about the QAnon stuff about how this, among all the things that they've done, by the way, if you want to keep a, if you're keeping track at home, the stuff that Kevin McCarthy has had to

talk to members of his own caucus about recently, besides Coke orgies, going to white nationalist conferences, Jewish space lasers, and depictions of anime violence, all of which we covered here. But none of that tore the party apart like this, because while one side

of the family values people saying, how dare you associate with the Coke fueled orgies, the Q&O people are like, you've got to name some fucking names, Matt. Yeah, that's also very, but yeah, you've got one contingent. They're saying, if he's really serious about this, then he needs to name names. And you know, there's at least a few other dudes in that room. Like, shut the fuck up, Larry.

No, no, he doesn't need to name any name. That's crazy. We all just know it's not true, all right? No reason for your name any, get into specifics. I don't know why we would do that. I mean, you and I could complain a lot about fucking old Congresses. I would encourage all of them to take up heavy cocaine use. In fact, I would like the CIA to ship cocaine into,

in the Congress like they did South Central LA in the 80s. Sure. There we go. Yeah. Might make them actually do something. I don't know. Of course, these ain't the ones you want doing stuff. Anyway, let's see.

What we got? Honorable mentions here for Daily Dumbass. Number one, Furries for still being up to their shit even after we busted them months ago on the show. That's right. They're still doing it. Listen, this old boy in Nebraska, lay it all out for you. It's something that kind of took me back just a little bit,

and I'm a little shocked. I guess, is what I would put it. Something about furries. If you don't know what furries are, it's where school children as animals, cats or dogs, during the school day, they meow and they bark, and they interact with their school with the teachers in that in this fashion. And now schools are wanting to put litter boxes in the schools.

There it is. To use. How is this Santa. I'm going to have a discussion of a senior Smith about this. This is something I think. So that's a Republican state lawmaker of Nebraska. And people listen regularly know we did like a whole episode on this

a couple of like a month or two ago. There's this moral panic at school boards nationwide about school kids doing furry stuff. And it confuses a lot of stuff about like what furries are, what they're up to, how schools work and how kids' sense of humor work. It's a really fascinating ways, but the broad stuff. It's funny that he's like, he's so off base about the whole thing, but part of it is it's like, it's almost kind of adorable what he apparently thinks furries are. Like, he's appalled by what he thinks furries are and what he thinks furies are is like 14-year-olds putting on bunny ears and like making animal noises in the halls.

Do you know what I mean? Like, that's, that's all he thinks it is. just like they bark and meowing stuff while wearing a costume. And he's like, as I live and breathe, what are we going to do about this? And that's just funny to me because I'm not saying all fairies, but I know some of the shit, some fairs get up to would really blow this guy's hair back. There's a small group of them for whom it's about sex stuff. And that's fine, by the way.

So recap, what happened here is some old boomers, misunderstood the one joke the conservative is always make about transitioning which is I identify as blank right

they heard about furries they assumed furies identify as cats which they don't some kids overheard this confusion

thought it was funny and began trolling in one school and I think Idaho some kids came to school dressed like cats to fuck around with old people

they got sent home to change because the dress code didn't matter it's gone mega viral and we have a full-blown national moral panic about kids

meowing. And now, again, not to reiterate the stuff we covered in that whole episode, but like, furries do not identify as animals, nor do they shit in litter boxes. Because, again,

they're not cats. They're human beings to use toilets. And like we said, on the episode where we covered all that, like, dude, in my high school, the boys' bathrooms didn't have doors on the stall. The idea that they would be installing litter boxes,

you know what I mean? for like to to for these handful of kids who want to be cats or whatever the whole thing is just is just laughable to me but um moving on let's say i do want to say i do want to say congratulate this guy because he apologized after somebody told him who's wrong uh and uh i wanted like finally one of these people was shame he didn't double down he didn't say actually the media is not telling you the truth there are furries all of high school he's like oh shit i'm a i'm a dumb ass his name's bruce bostleman so shout out to bruce bostleman for being the last Republican with shame. But I tell you what? How low is the bar over there? You know what? This guy deserves some props. He admitted he was wrong when he was objectively wrong.

And you know what? You're right, Mark. All right. Next up, honorable mention Joe Biden for not deploying the National Guard on Sunday night in order to combat the slap heard around the world. Let's hear this guy's take on it. One second question.

to talk about Will Smith and Chris Rock. You know, it's the biggest story right now. You saw the level of violence that was unleashed on Chris Rock. Is that something that the White House condoned, that type of violence? Do you condemn it? And do you do anything to support comedian who are being attacked and other artists? That's right. So I don't have any official comment from the White House of the Finally, somebody says it, Mark. The White House has been. I don't have anything, I don't have any official comment from him. You could have that. The White House has been leaving us as comedians hanging out to dry for too long. It's well past time that they assign secret servants agents to each of us.

We're going to go out there and, you know, exercise our courageousness in telling the truth to this society. and realize that we might get slapped for that. And I think it's time the government stepped in to protect us. This guy's making complete sense to me. This is ridiculous. Yeah, Trey, you need secret service protection. I do. This is, first of all, I don't know where this guy,

what news out of this guy's problem. I'm going to guess as a foreign correspondent, but maybe I'm just being unfair because of his accent. But comedians get attacked fairly often. This isn't like something new. It's people are drunk. They don't like me in fun of. I personally once had a guy at a bar show at Mansfield, Texas,

a guy pulled a knife with me and tried to stab me from making fun of his wife, and I had to fend them off with the base of the mic stand until security could drag him out. She would. Yeah, that was a fun. That's the only time anything ever got that bad, but I would much rather get to open hand slapped by Will Smith.

A minor league hockey player wanted to whip my ass after the show for a joke, I told, but he was so hammered. He confused me. another comic who was there and tried to whip his ass while i was just like standing at the bar getting a beer or something like that so i didn't even i found out about it later but the guy he was like quoting the joke it was definitely my joke that i told that got him all pissed off he was just taking out on the wrong guy so uh i dodged it but yes that uh you know it happens like you said people get drunk they get mad you get slapped you know what are you going to do i don't

think it's joe biden's fault at the time i was uh headlining in the velvita room in austin texas and uh This lady came up to yell at all of us after the show. She started with me. She goes, I really did not appreciate that Hitler joke you told. And I was like, I didn't, not that I'm above it, but I didn't, I didn't do a Hitler joke. I didn't do it. So she went to the next comic and was like, I didn't appreciate the Hitler joke you told. He was like, I also did not tell a Hitler joke.

She went through every comic on the show and none of us had done a Hitler joke. We all talked about after she was gone. We'd be honest with each other. Like, no one told it. She just completely invented a thing to be mad about in her head and wanted to see you wanted to confront us about it. People are insane lunatics. It's not just celebrities. That checks out. Matt is asking me in the chat what the joke was about. I'm not going to tell the joke, but I had a joke where I reference the joke was not about or making fun of school shootings, but it referenced school shootings. Okay. And it was that. He was like, all he heard was school shootings. And he came up to my buddy. It was just like, you don't fucking. can joke about school shootings. That's messed up. Of course, my friends just saying, like, I don't know what you're, I didn't do that. I don't know what you're talking about, but his other hockey player buddies had to pull him off of him. Anyway, moving on, next honorable mention, anybody who thinks Donald Trump

wouldn't use a PR firm to cheat at golf. This is wonderful, in my opinion. You want to put this up there, Matt. Trump put out a statement in his little newsletter here of utmost importance. I'm going to read some of it to you. It says many people are asking, so I'll give it to you now. It's 100% true. While playing with the legendary golfer Ernie Ells, winner of four majors and approximately 72 other tournaments throughout the world, Gene Sowers, Ken Duke and Mike Goods, all excellent players, I made a hole in one. It took place at Trump Golf Club in West Palm Beach on the seventh hole, which was playing 181 yards into a slight wind. I hit a five iron.

I hit a five iron which sailed magnificently into a rather strong wind with approximately five feet of cut, whereupon it bounced twice, and then went clank into the hull. So you can rest easy, everybody. Let me read one more sentence here, because this really hit for me. These great tour players noticed it before I did because their eyes are slightly better, but on that one hole only, their swings weren't. Take that R.E.L. Suck it, you old bitch. Ah, good call.

It's definitely worth including. But no, you sent this to me last night, and the first thing I said was, that ain't shit. I heard Kim Jong-Eil once hit 11 holes. in one, which is true. Of course, it's not true that he did that. It's true that he said it, not Kim Jong-un, but his daddy once claimed in 1994 that he played his very first ever round of golf in his entire life. And in that round of golf, he hit 11 holes in one and shot a 38 under par. He was 5'3, he was 5'3 foot 3, and this was a 7,700-yard championship court.

as long as any course ever played in modern championship history. So suck on that, Donald Trump. Okay, how about that? Yeah, even more reason to look up to the Kims. But just it's so, the overlaps with him and these other, you know, lunatic despots and stuff are sometimes funny when it involves lying about golf. You know, I don't know, hell. Maybe he hit one hole in one who gives a shit.

It's still just the whole thing is funny. It's like I think it was Rick Riley He wrote a whole book About how Trump cheats a golf Like he's famous for it He doesn't even know When he's cheating half the time

Because his caddies know To move the ball for him Before he gets there So it's like It's like who gives a shit Like it's like what Let him have a little fantasy He's good at golf

Do you want to move us Through this last one here Real quick In the Ohio Senate race Which has been A fountain of dumbassery So here's your Ohio Senate

an update. We talked last week about the big doings at the debate where Josh Mandel threatened to beat up a 70-something-year-old man and JD got a hit in about how he was also a tough Marine but would never use it to threaten people. Anyway, so this week there was

another debate and Mike Gibbons was asked about a comment he made earlier in the week about how it turns out women have never been oppressed, he said, and you will not have made so I guess the dumb ass here is women for not knowing that they were never oppressed, but And for the record, Mike Gibbons, and for the record, Mike Gibbons is the business papal that Josh Mandel threatened to whip his ass in the debate.

It's the same guy. Yeah. So he basically, you know, there's one thing I know that women love, which when you tell them they don't have it that bad, and they should calm down. They love it. Tell my wife that all the time. She's always like, you know how to cheer me up. So, in the course, defending himself during this debate and trying to get back the support. board of women, he chose to criticize

the only woman in the race, her name's Timkin, by saying that she doesn't know anything because she never worked. In fact, she didn't make her own money. She just married into it. So this guy, this guy's going nuts, but the funny thing was, at least JD

got owned. This clown show is fucking ridiculous. Hit this video where he's defensive. This is the guy. This is Gibbons, Dreher. Yeah. Women have never been oppressed. More than half the women state more than half the voters are when so what do you mean by those comments you have 60 seconds i guess what i would start out by saying um we made a lot of progress back in

2016 jd got to vote for a woman for president it's uh it's a different uh you voted for hillary yeah jd's phase when he said that like he kills me but yeah it's almost like he set this up just so he could say that shit or something. That was, yeah. Way to go, business, papal. One of these people is probably going to be us the next senator from Ohio. And I guess, bad for America.

We'll probably get some good content out of it. This whole thing is, like, Gibbons was saying, he was trying to clarify his point. It was that, yes, women had it bad in some ways, but men had to go fighting World War II. So who was actually oppressed? which is just galaxy brain as hell i salute to him well also him saying that like women have never been oppressed

and then when asked to clarify and again he was just trying to get a dig in on jd i guess but for him to be like listen we've come a long way and it's like from what like if they've never been oppressed what distance have we traveled like they've always just been it's always just been smooth sailing right how else would that work anyway doing that thing i always do trying to make sense of the nonsensical. Let's get into the main story. What do you think? Yeah, let's do it. So a lot of legal shit happened this week already regarding Trump in January 6th. For starters, let's go with this. There's a clean CNN clip to set this up.

Some important breaking news this hour, a federal judge says Donald Trump's effort to stop Congress from certifying the 2020 election results was, quote, more likely than not, a crime. The judge's comments came as he ruled attorney John Eastman, who was working with Trump, must turn over 101 emails to the January 6th committee. As Paul Reed joins us with the latest on this. This is the decision here. Paul, it's a big deal. President saying, more likely than not. Yeah, so this has all been legal wrangling over.

Eastman is Trump's lawyer. He's the one who devised that six-point plan to overthrow the election, right? He's the one who was emailing with Pence's man, basically saying that Pence was a huge pussy for not overthrowing the election. and that's why the mob was going to kill him. They were doing this during the insurrection. All right. So the January 6th committee has been trying to get a lot of his documents, but he's saying, I actually have attorney-client privilege.

Now, I don't think Trump ever actually hired him or paid a retainer as an attorney, so that's always legally dubious. But this was, so this is about a bunch of shit, but this judge's ruling is basically comes down on something called the crime fraud exception. Basically, you can't, you can tell your lawyer all your secrets about crimes you committed in the past. You cannot help, you have your lawyer help you plan future crimes. Yeah, like actively commit.

a crime. If the communication between you and your logger involves the committing of a crime, then attorney-client privilege does not apply. A law license is not a license to be a criminal, is the general idea. It makes sense

to make. Where Eastman got fucked here is he had some leaked emails that came out, because there were group emails where he sent two people in Trump circle, they were saying, well, since we're doing all these other things that are illegal, and unconstitutional, we might as well do this other

one thing that's lesser. You see, he put that in writing. So not only does he puts in writing, but he knows, like a lot of stuff's about intent. Because if he believed what he was doing was legal, he's probably fine. But because he put in writing, he knew it was a crime. He basically just confessed and

gave the whole fucking game up. So I, but this was like, this came out like months ago. So I don't know why everything's taking so long. That's what's getting so pissed off. It's, it's annoying everyone. It's like, this how it happened down in the open, we have another set of elections in a few months. It's so wild, like how, like you say, how just open most of it is.

It's not even like up for debate. A lot of it is just known. Like, it's wild that there exists a five or six point memo that was made for the president that we can all go and read right now, which just explicitly outlines the plan for taking the election from Joe Biden for Donald Trump. Like just in black and white, this is how it's going to work. If long as Mike Pence ain't a bitch, then we got this shit. I'm paraphrasing, but that's basically what it says. And that's another thing, too, is it's like, and, you know, they want to hang him for it now. But, like, what if Mike Pence had just gone along with that at the time?

How would it have shaken out? Like, it's wild that, I don't know. Everything, it's been with, we've been living with it all for so long now and seeing so much information and shit come out about it and seen all the footage 100 times and stuff. But, like, you just sort of step back from it again, and it's just, this shit is so crazy. Everything about it is so crazy. And nothing's happening. It also goes into this, like, mental, like, one, apparently if you do a crime on TV, no one knows what to do about it.

Like, it's just like, yeah, if you just, yeah, exactly, if you just brazen, if you just commit to do stuff brazenly with no shame, no one knows what category to put it into. It's like, that old, like, a theory of it, if you have a clipboard and a headset, you can just walk into anywhere. Everyone is something you know what you're doing. It's like, it's sort of, it's like that level of chicanery. But, like, the idea they'd have some worked out plan. It almost worked. All they had to do was introduce enough chaos to have question, and Trump would just sit in the White House and stay there and no one else would know what to do. And it's like, it's a stupid plan, but stupid plans work all the fucking time.

So I don't know why everyone's so, you know, weirdly, Democrats are trying to act like everything's normal. What the fuck is normal about this? Speaking of which, like, that story came out yesterday. This story was also from yesterday. Here's a clip from CBS News. Breaking news on the investigation into the January 6th assault on the Capitol. CBS News and the Washington Post have obtained White House records of President Trump's activities that day, and they reveal a nearly eight-hour gap in entries in his call log and his daily diary. This gap raises big questions about what the president was just. doing at the time and whether he was using a so-called burner phone, maybe a couple of them,

those are disposable and untraceable. Chief election and campaign courts by this too. Like that's what I'm saying. It's like this is, this is so crazy. I was talking about the president using fucking burner phones in the middle of a literal insurrection. I saw somewhere where people were like, yeah, it could have been burner phones. It could have been using like staffers phones or interns phones or something. And it's funny to me to think of him, like, doing that, but treating them like burner phones.

Like, he just gets, like, an intern's phone. And he's just walking around, like, throwing them in the toilet, putting them in blenders and stuff like that, you know. And they're all just saying, like, actually, that was, okay, it's fine. Throwing them out windows and shit. But, yeah, no, it's, it's so, so wild. Look, everything the president does is deeply recorded, not just for, like, for public records reasons and historian reasons, but also just because the president does a lot of shit. and he can't really remember all the stuff he did.

So someone needs to know what he did and where he was, right? So, but also, like, to use... So the U.S. government has no record of who he talks to in those eight hours. But every other foreign intelligence service in the world has big boom mics pointed at the White House. He's using unsecured phones to do blackmailable acts. This is a huge fucking problem. And the fact that every other foreign country in the world has the intel to send the former president of the United States to jail who's going to run again

is a huge intelligence problem and blackmail problem and no one's going to fucking do anything about it. Anyway, we don't hit but so this was really funny by the way, there's a lot of public reporting of people who said they talked to Trump a bunch of times. Right. I know. I was going to bring that up too.

I feel like that's been stuff that's like come out along the way. We've heard a lot about like all the phone calls he made with various congresspeople and stuff like that over the course of that day you know, during the window that's now missing. So like, you know, like he was definitely on the phone. Just, uh, just, uh, just for some reason, not on the record. People came out and said he made

these phone calls in his defense because people were saying Trump did nothing during the capital insurrection. They were like, I'm in like Kevin McCarthy and all these other dudes like, no, I talked to him a bunch. He was helping us out. He was trying to figure out how to stop it. And here he is deleting the records of the fucking calls where he was allegedly helping. But this is really funny. So Trump, when he wasn't hitting hold. in one. He put out this press statement the other night. In a short statement of Monday night,

Trump said, quote, I have no idea what a burner phone is, to the best of my knowledge. I have never even heard the term. Five minutes later, John Bolton says he recalls Trump using the term burner phones. Yeah. Well, Trump shouldn't have fucking talked all that shit about John Bolton then. Like, we talked about it on the show. It's been forever ago now. But Trump seemingly out of nowhere one day went on a Twitter.

Tyray before he got kicked off of Twitter just going in on John Bolton just Kay was literally saying like you know I've known a lot of stupid worthless idiot pieces of shit in my day but out of all of them none of them can compare to John fucking Bolton this guy is the dumbest most boring asshole I've ever met like literally stuff like that coming from the president and so yeah I'm not shocked that John Bolton's taking every opportunity to fuck his shit up, as it were. I love their weird beef because every time either one calls the other one a dumb, he's a dumb asshole, I agree. Yeah, right.

Sure. Yeah, like, yeah, I'm not, yeah, to hell with John Bolton, too. I thought it was hilarious when Trump went on that Twitter tirade against it because it just seemed to be so out of nowhere. And it was so pointed and vitriolic and John Butler sucks. So it was funny, but this is also funny. John Eastman isn't really. Trump's lawyer, so

fuck him either way. But I just do want to take a moment here to talk about how much it doesn't hit to be Donald Trump's lawyer. Because first of all, he can't really hire a good one. The one he has for his New York cases, one of his many stack of cases, he's like he's got the federal investigation in January 6th. He's got tax problems in New York. He's got fraud problems in New York.

He's got a grand jury investigating him in Georgia for trying to sway the election, yada, yada, yada. He's got stuff going on. In New York, he couldn't get a good lawyer for law firm. She's basically got this woman who lies about her resume. She says she went to Harvard. She went to like a seminar on like a Tuesday afternoon in Harvard. She went to some lower tier law school, which I don't judge anybody for, but why are you lying about it, lady?

And she works like, she works like New Jersey out of like a mall storefront. She's not like a real lawyer you went for a big time case. Anyway, so a couple months ago, she had this really funny hearing because Trump has two different investigations into fraud in New York. got a civil investigation from the state AG. And he up until recently had the New York District Attorney investigating it. It's not clear whether that's still happening because a bunch of couple of people resigned. Again, complaining about the same shit we're complaining about, about here's some obvious crimes and no one's fucking doing shit because they're scared. I don't blame they for being scared.

You're going to get death threats. But you prosecute the mafia. All right. So usually when you're parallel investigations in the same subject matters, a civil investigation and a criminal investigation, the civil investigation will go second because when you get subpoenaed, when you go in there, you'd be like, well, I have a Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination. I can't testify about this stuff because you can still use it in a criminal trial. It almost always gets pushed back.

But Trump's lawyer's problem is anybody knows they ever heard Trump talk, knows that he talks a lot of shit and he denies everything. So how can you go into court and say, in your honor, my client's in legal jeopardy, him and Jared Navakha cannot testify because he'll expose him criminally and the judge just points to it like a quick Google search here's her client saying 400 times they got nothing on him into witch hut

and he didn't do anything wrong and she goes oh yeah because you can't say your honor my client's a dumb fucking liar who wasn't under oath because her client's Donald Trump he will fire her and she'll get death threats so anyway that really hit for me he got hoisted his own batard there a little bit

so he's going to have to sit for subpoenas soon for deposition soon. But back to another one of his lawyers, Clancho lawyers, he doesn't hit. Eastman, just for a general understanding of who he is. One, he's friends with Ted Cruz since 1995. Yeah, so you know he sucks. Yeah.

They both clerk for the same lawyer. He's a fellow at the Claremont Institute, which is not at Claremont College. It's a different thing, but it's in the same town. It's in California, though. So they're like a right-wing nut factory who generate op-ed. One of the op-eds he wrote during the election was basically saying that Kamala Harris

was not constitutionally allowed to be president or vice president because she's not a natural born citizen. Not because of any rumor that she wasn't born here. He was making the argument because her parents were immigrants. She should not be allowed. She does not consider a naturally born citizen. I could maybe be wrong about this, but I think I could go in there and ask my nine-year-old that question. and he would know that that makes that person an American citizen. Someone whose parents covered someone.

If you're born here, I feel like that kids learn that in like second or third grade or something. And they put it in Newsweek. And then later to apologize and retract it and shit because everybody flipped out because it's ridiculous. But yeah. And Trump, though, Trump read it and literally said, this guy's brilliant, actual quote, this guy's brilliant and brought him on board.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, like, all that stuff can be, like, it's not, you could have argued, argued about that cost, meaning the constitution about that stuff in like, I don't know, 1795, but our general understanding of what the framers meant from the stuff they did, who they elected president, their understanding I'm naturally born was just, yeah, you're around here. Because again, the founders weren't citizens of the United States. They were born citizens of the British Empire. So their idea of having a strict instruction of citizenship is fucking ludicrous.

Anyway, we talked about Ted Cruz for a minute, and it's worth pointing out that if anything shitty is happening in Washington, D.C., Ted Cruz is definitely standing adjacent to it. So another story that came up this week was that Ted Cruz, apparently Trump called him and asked him if he would represent Trump's case at the Supreme Court, if the court agreed to hear it, and Cruz said yes. This was also part of Cruz's plan to gum up the works in the Senate. he's the one again who objected to certifying the results in the Senate led that movement. All these are parallel like pincher type moves to help keep Trump in office. Again, by just throwing enough chaos to create questions where everyone would just stand still and Trump would just keep his ass in the White House and everyone would shrug, right? That's essentially the plan here.

Cruz, like I cannot get over what a fucking slimy coward this dude is. He just doesn't hit in so many ways. But it's funny to me that he doesn't hit for a lot of people he used to. to hit for, for example. Right. He, uh, the, the judge that he clerked with Eastman for, um, is a guy named Luddick. Uh, Luddig talked to the post for this article. And this, uh, this, this, this, Luddick is a, to put it mildly disappointed in his old

protege. He told the post that he believes Cruz, who once said that Luddick was like a father to me. So this is going to sting. Played a paramount role in the events lead to January 6th. Quote, once Ted Cruz promised to object January 6th with all but for ordained, because Cruz is the most influential figure in Congress willing to force a vote on Trump's claim the election was stolen. So this guy would line Cruz up and at least give him a wedge if not have him shot for treason. But, oh, God.

Anyway, if you're wondering if Cruz might be in any legal jeopardy, Eastman, they reached out to John Eastman for this story to ask him if he was talking to his old buddy, Ted Cruz, about any of these efforts. And Eastman pled the fifth. So. There you have it. while Congress and Merrick Garland apparently think they didn't do anything illegal. These guys are telling you they did shit that's illegal. So, okay, that's why I want to talk.

Before we get into the comments and stuff, I just wanted, I wanted to ask you what you thought about the whole Merrick Garland part of it all. Like, it was like the silence is deafening. And the committee, the January 6th committee has like explicitly stated, like one of them on the committee literally said, we're trying to do our job. Why don't you do your job or something like that? Like they're calling him out. Nothing is happening. I know for a while, people were like, you know, what takes time to build a case? You've got to build a case.

But it's like, I don't know. You can't address it in any way. Like, what the fuck is going on? Is it just going to stay like this? What the hell's happening, Mark, besides nothing? I mean, like James Comey before him, Comey was a FBI director, not the AG, but Merrick Garland is an institutionalist. He thinks the system is fine, and it's working as intended, and the wheels of justice turned slowly. And he's doing a classic like roll-up style investigation like you use for like the mob or terror grip where you start the low-level guys and go up the ladder.

But here you have a federal judge, the story we started with, apparently making your case for you that this is pretty obvious evidence of a crime. You do not need to get the leader of the proud boys to flip on Roger Stone, to flip on Steve Bannon, to flip on Trump. Even if you did that, that would take fucking years. Here you have Stone Cold writing from Trump's lawyer to Trump, let's do crimes. Trump did crimes after that. Do something, motherfucker. It's also like, I don't, and again, I know the committee has, like, called him out, but I don't understand.

Surely there's pressure from the White House you would think or something. I don't understand how they don't recognize the impact this could have in, like, a grander political sense for the Democrats, I mean. Like, we, there is, there are midterms later this year. In danger of getting their asses whipped. Like, I don't know. You just need to fucking do something. something like it's insane everybody sees all the evidence every day it was literal treason and an actual

insurrection attempt just this is not this should not be another one of those times where they just don't do anything but it's like it seems like that's what's going to happen and it's fucking maddening why would anyone have any faith in any of these people anymore if nothing ever comes of this. Also, why would someone not attempt it again, but be smarter about it next time, if nothing ever comes from something like this? Like, this is, you just,

this is not the type of thing that you can let slide, and no one should need to be told that. It's fucking insane. Yeah, I mean, Hitler got sent to prison and still did it again. The, I just, uh, yeah, I don't

know, you get inside the brains of these people and I guess this makes a certain sort of sense but it's only makes sense if you ignore everything happening right it's like they remember how it worked in 1980s because they're all 95 fucking years old they think it's going to work that way again they're going to go to the white house after trump selected and all have a drink and smoke a cigar and pass an infrastructure bill or some shit and it's like that's not how it's going to work man it's it's not it's not it's not it's not what's in front of you and it's like we started off the show talking about people get hit in the mouth and the type of group

of the group of people who can't imagine anything worse than like how could you dare lose your temper enough to hit a person or why it's worse to be a worst thing of the world to get hit in the face the entire democratic leadership class is that group of people who they think they can think their way around every problem that a solution is going to present itself that won't rankle anybody and everyone will be happy with and sometimes you're just going to get hit in the face and I don't know what to tell you it's just it just be that way sometimes and hey dude You got a group of people who don't want to fight. And I think I said it was a show once.

It doesn't take two people to have a fight. It'll take this one person who wants to fight, another person who doesn't want to die. And then you've got the Democrats who apparently don't have any will to live. So this is what it looks like. Yes, that's fucking perfect. All right, Matt, once you start throwing us some comments up there for us,

also I'll take this opportunity to tell everybody, like and subscribe and all that stuff. You know, share it, write it on the, on the podcast apps, all that good stuff. Keep watching and doing the internet things. And we very much appreciate you. There's Anthony Webb. I got you, Anthony.

I scooped you. He says, hit the like button, everybody. But thank you for having my back. I appreciate you. Y'all know how I'd be forgetful, namely. Let's see.

Fred Skull on YouTube, Fred Skull. I like it. I like it. Red Skull, but Fred Skull. I like Red Skull, yeah. We both get it. Me and Mark, both.

Anyway, on YouTube says, Patreon, subscriber, in the house. Thank you, Fred. We appreciate you. Yeah, we've done a few bonus episodes already. Of course, if, you know, you go and sign up now, you get access to all of them immediately. So, and that will always stay true. So the longer we do it, the larger the archive will be. And we're doing new bonus episodes, roughly every other week at the very least two times a month, two to three times a month, full-length episodes. Like I said, we got another one coming later this week. It's going to be fun. Regina Stogner on YouTube

who says the DOJ just requested 131 additional loggers. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I saw that, but they're all to handle the caseload of the, all the nobodies. Like,

I mean, we make fun of the people who trespassed and walked around the Capitol and took a shit in Nancy Pelosi's office. And they don't, they suck, but like they're not the main problem. Right.

And it's like, like, like we're talking about elite punity, all right? So like, Jenny Thomas, all right? While we're on the subject.

Clarence Thomas's wife. One of the things that came out last week or two weeks ago, whenever it was, was she was texting Mark Meadows, the guy who committed voter fraud earlier in the show, about how they need to overturn the election. She was sitting in Q&N videos. All right. That's gross. But also, Jenny Thomas has a one-woman consultancy shop where people pay her to write amicus briefs for the Supreme Court for cases they're hearing. So Clarence Thomas has a direct finance. incentive to vote certain

ways in cases from people who are paying his wife. He never recuses himself. Democrats are not doing anything about it. This is straightforward corruption. Not just the lunatic variety, but a financial variety. And everyone looks at it and shrugged, like, well, what are you going to do? Make a big deal

about it, man. I know. Right. Yeah. Yeah. What are you going to do? It's like, I don't, just something. Do something. I mean, I don't, I've never expected Donald Trump to go to jail. And I still don't just because I have no faith and something like that happening in this country. But, but it's like, but the idea that they're just not going to do anything,

that there's never going to be any real charges of repercussions for anyone that actually matters is like still extremely upsetting to me and hard for me to stomach. Like, that's just not, that's not palatable to say. And they're talking about like going to jail or whatever. That's naive and I think, but like the January 6th committee is not even doing many public hearings. put the shit on fucking TV, man. Make some good footage. You got to give cable news something to talk about

and you've got to make material for tack ads. All these people in front of the committee, last night they held Peter Navarro and Dan Skavino, who was Trump's former caddy slur turned White House security expert and Q&ONL lunatic. They held them in criminal contempt. It took them months to do that. And all they're doing is referred to the DOJ.

The House has a sergeant in arms. They could literally go arrest the motherfucker and drag them in and make them testify. They're not doing that. Why? I don't know. Because that would, you know, it's just a certain way to handle things, Mark, with a little bit of decorum, okay? You got to be, we're not, it's not the Wild West out here, all right? We're not going to be dragging people around in shackles.

We're going to handle this like professionals because they think that that's the world that we all still live in is where that shit happens or works. Darrell Rutledge on Facebook says, the Democrats need an attorney. tack dog willing to use the same tactics the GOP use. Yeah, I mean, I've thought for years we should do, take some pages out of their playbook and you know, say to hell with like the high road bullshit. Justin Goldberg

on YouTube says, yes, Dem's whole problem is their weakness. It's not just strategic weakness. Like their brand, their brand is effect and effectual weakness. Right. Yes. So like, it's not even about whether you accomplish anything. You need to expand people's imagination of what

your political coalition is because Because they look at Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer, they don't be like, well, these are some tough people out there fighting for me. Like there was a – someone wrote a really insightful article a couple months ago. I wish I could shout out who wrote it. But it was like the headline was the Democrats don't want to answer the question. And the question is, who's sad of you on? Now, imagine – if you asked most Democrats in Congress that, who's out of you on? big business for oligarchs versus regular people working people you'd get a thousand word

answer about how they're on everyone's side you can't be on everyone's side right it doesn't work that way so it's just like the whole thing is just mealy mouth like just to be less mealy mouth just be less mealy mouth like that would help even if you didn't accomplish anything concrete in the criminal justice system speak firmly and directly about who did something wrong and how you're better. Carlos Gonzalez on Facebook says Dems need a brand that shows vision, not weakness and self-loathing.

Yeah. I mean, you know, I made a video about this today, and I was saying, like you said, me, you were like, their brand is ineffectual weakness. And I basically said that in the video I made, too. And I said that, like, a party whose reputation is that

cannot survive letting something like this fucking go, just letting it go. Like, it's the death nail for a party who already has that type of branding, you know? Yeah. So. I like Sheldon White House, too. He was the only one standing up for Kantanji Brown Jack. And, like, well, why would they make a big deal?

Kentonji Jackson is going to be on the court. Why would they do that? Because you can't just let a bunch of people yell QAnon shit at the first black woman nominated to the Supreme Court and just sit there and do nothing and twirl to your thumbs and act like it's normal. Because people look at that and think you're a fucking coward. Everybody thinks you're a coward for that. Long shot,

Louie on YouTube says Sheldon Whitehouse has the right idea. Yeah, like Shelton's responding to it. Yeah. Natalie Nichols, there she is. Hello, Natalie. Natalie, uh, freeze dried some stuff and sent, sent it to me in a gift box this week. How about that?

She got her hands on a freeze dry machine, whatever it's called and went a little nuts with it, but we appreciate her in the crowd her household. Producer Matt says, I didn't get mine. Uh, yeah. She told me. the letter to tell Corey and Drew not to get butt hurt over it. So I guess I'll tell

you that too, Matt. Anyway, Natalie says tell us about the new thing with Corey. Thank God I'm so bad at so many parts of this. I should have at least mentioned. Me and Corey having, y'all know Corey, fucking senior Georgia correspondent Cory Ryan Forrester. We've got a new

thing. I just keep collecting more new things, but you know, I like to have fun out here on the internet. Me and Corey have a new show coming out starting this Friday called Putting On Airs. and, you know, me and Mark, we do the politics stuff. This show will be me and Corey talking about fancy people shit, making fun of rich people, really, and the stuff they do, you know,

tea parties and wine and yachts and stuff like that. And, of course, we're both white trash hicks who don't know anything about it. And therein lies the humor. At least that's the idea. So, yeah, it's called putting on airs. You can get it wherever you get your podcast. And if you want something much sillier than what we do here at the skews, I hope y'all will check it out.

Jason Rutterman on Facebook says, we love Corey. Yeah, well, if you love Corey, you're going to love this. We wear little outfits and stuff. It's all very silly, very silly, but we're having fun with it. So, yeah, okay, what else we got? Let's see here. Betty Veronica over there, I just all says, Trey Poupon. I like that.

That's good. That suits putting on there. Lisa Golden from Facebook says, I think the problem with the current Democratic Party is they are actually old school Republicans. They like corporate capitalism. I mean, yeah, I feel like the vast majority of Democrats are not even a little bit liberal. They're like center, right, or moderate at best. And it's just that Republicans are fringe, extreme, far fucking right.

And then you've got like five people who are actual leftist or progressives. Yeah, I mean, like it's like. government. We use this term, I think the last episode we talked about it, but like cosmopolitan liberal is not really actually left wing. It's like, like, we talked about like the Disney in Florida. It's like, yeah, we're personally fine with different ethnicities and sexualities. And we're fine with that.

But also, but they're like, would you like to spend money from tax money to help them? We're like, oh, no, no, definitely not bad. We're fine with preferably not like an hour neighborhood. But generally, you know, we think they should. should be allowed to exist, of course. Yeah. So that's basically, I mean, you're going to hear a ton of analysis leading up to the election that's from another universe because it's going to act like, like, like it's super complicated

what happened with the economy or Biden's approval rating. But here's a straightforward thing that happened. When Trump was president, the government said everyone had a bunch of money. Biden became president. Democrats took the Senate and they cut it off. So I don't know. No one's going to bring that. up. I'm going to be fucking

furious. Trump did the most left-wing UBI thing in American history at least since FDR or at least let it happen and then Biden said, nope, the good times are over and then here we are. Well, that's a wonderful note to end on.

You're right, though. Anyway, final reminders, go to well-read comedy.com to get a ticket to come save me live. Please do that. Also, go to weekly skews.com slash more or look me up on Patreon and support the show by paying $5 a month to get full length bonus episodes of this program, including one coming this week. Okay, with that said, we'll be back here on the regular show next Scusy Tuesday.

Of course we will. And we see you, love you, bye.