Weekly Skews - Weekly Skews 5/16/2023 – RIP Miller Lite w/ Corey Ryan Forrester

Episode Date: May 17, 2023

Tonight we welcome Corey Ryan Forrester back to the show, filling in for Smart Mark, and we'll be diving into the well of insanity that is the new Giuliani lawsuit, Miller Lite's cancellation, DeSantis's attempts at human emotion, and more.Support the show

what's up everybody welcome back happy skews day to you it's may 16th 2023 i'm trey crowder that you may or may not have fast retained is not smart mark age you know mark is out because he's got a networking event for the job he apparently has knowing his stead that is you know him you love him senior georgia correspondent otherwise known as the show. Corey Ryan Forrester is back. How you doing, buddy? I'm good, Trey. It's good to be here. Thank you to the Skews Nation for having me for those of you who this is against your will. I'm so sorry as we see the people flood out because they realize I'm their least favorite bald instead of their favorite. You might just have to deal with me. Happy to be here and Trey, I don't know if you know this or if you tune into the show whenever you're not on it.

Like if you watch the rerun or whatever, but I have a running bit with Smart Mark when I'm co-hosting with where I have five questions that about the news that I don't know anything about and I ask smart Mark because I know that he will know everything about them. Well, when I found out I was filling in for Mark instead of you, I realized that that would be a fool's errand because you don't know near as much as Mark. No. So, so. Not even close.

Because I wanted to still do a bit, what I have done, Trey, and I have taken the time to write some uh late show style monologue jokes about the news that i do know about now again i'm not entirely caught up so some of this may feel dated uh because i normally get my news from mark uh so if you wouldn't mind i would like to do a monologue of recent news jokes if that's sure so okay so i'm like i'm kevin you banks yes you're kevin you banks that's sweet that you went to that yeah i was going to say what do you mean well i would I'd say Ed McMahon, but like Kevin, but yeah, Kevin Eubanks is fine. Either one you want to be. If you want to be Paul, that's totally cool too.

But anyways, will you feel like 30 seconds of time real quick? Just feel 30 seconds of time. I sure, yeah. I've really loved monologue jokes when I was growing up and oftentimes I've sent packets in to the late show and they have always turned me down. I've never once gotten a job writing monologue jokes and perhaps when I read these, you're going to understand why, but it is a passion of mine, and I feel that I need to come prepared with a bit to skews every week because I'm a professional.

You know what I'm saying? I'm back. Go ahead. Okay. Without further ado, here we go. All right, everybody. What's going on? I don't know if you've heard about this,

but a male prostitute recently took to social media accusing Senator Lindsey Graham of having a swath of moles in his butt hole that he calls his little ladybugs. When reached for comment, a ladybug said, Hey, leave us out of this. I don't look like no mole in Lindsey Graham's behole. I'm a pretty ladybug. That's good.

That's good. I thought, no, I can't do the rest. No, I'm not going to do that. But, uh, but yeah, no, I thought you meant like groundhog type moles. You know what I thought. We're keeping them. We're keeping them recent. Recently, very recent in the news, Elon Musk is reportedly

in talks to buy the social media platform Twitter in order to, quote, save free speech, because we all know what the founding father said. It is your inalienable right to make your screen name PussyFart 69 and type the N-word whenever you want. Ha ha, ha, people love the N-word. They do. They do. Thank you, Kev.

I appreciate that. Oh, let's see. What else is going on? As the Clinton Lewinsky scandal continues to heat up, Linda Tripp is looking to cash in by writing a tell-all book. Hopefully she answers the question we all want to know. How big is Janet Reno's dick? She is like a man.

I'll tell you what. Yeah, that guy from Roseanne played her in the sketches. That's right. Former First Lady Jackie Kennedy has just announced her engagement to business magnate Aristotle Onassis. When asked about the language barrier with her new in-law, she said, oh, you know, it's All Greek to me. I think we've reached a point where I'm not allowed to talk in this country's history.

I'm still playing Kevin U. Banks in this thing. Just so you all know. Oh, God. Oh, good. Oh, good. After realizing defeat was all but certain, German dictator Adolf Hitler shot himself in his bunker next to his wife, Ava Braun. Boy, I bet she did not see that coming. Hey.

Hey, yo. That guy's an American hero. Because he shot Hitler, you know what I'm like? That's true. That's true. And finally, a prophet and the alleged son of God just awoke from his tomb after being dead for three days. The Roman soldier on guard was quoted as saying, I don't know where he went, but Jesus, Christ, he stank. I want fishing loaves all of a sudden.

Am I right? Thank you, Kemp. Ladies and gentlemen, the Tonight Show band. Oh, yeah. Play us off, everybody. Already?

Yeah. Oh, man. I hope you enjoyed it. Lovely. People are not going to be able to experience this. So I'm loved to even put it out there in the world. But during COVID, we did a computer show. We remember we did a few computer shows.

We did. Which one are you talking about? I'm talking about there was a computer show we did, so a Zoom-based show, Zoom-based comedy show, people bought tickets and stuff, where your whole entire set was just those. I did 30 minutes. 30 minutes of Johnny Carson jokes. Yep. Or whatever, which I know had to confuse, but also probably elate people. I'm sure some people, I think people were probably into it for five minutes.

But yeah, I was like, those shows were so weird. and I wanted all of them to be different. And that one was, we had, it was close to New Year's. So I decided to do a year-in review monologue jokes. And I mean, it was fun to do. I hope everybody liked it. Yep, baby. So here we are.

Like I said, Mark's out. Mark wanted me to, there was a few things Mark wanted me to note before we start or as we start. Because I guess, and this is funny to me, Mark wanted to eat a little bit of crow, which is funny because he's not here. Do you know what I mean? Protein, though. That's Mark's thing.

Right. Yeah. Crow was some mustard, you know, some white beans. Then he goes and works out for four hours. But, uh, but, uh, but yeah, Mark in his absence wanted to, you know, bow down and admit he had been wrong about some things, which I think is truly brave. It's truly brave of him to do it while he's not here. But he said that, uh, you guys have often gotten upset at him for, you know,

implying that Joe Biden ain't done shit, right? And, uh, he wants. wanted me to acknowledge on his behalf that Joe Biden has, in fact, done some shit. He's talking about the Inflation Reduction Act and some of the things it has accomplished. So the IRS is rolling out a new free e-filing system that could compete with the tax giants like H&R Block and them motherfuckers. Basically, the idea is you shouldn't have to pay somebody in order to pay the government, right? traveling, you know, people do their taxes. You got to go somewhere, pay somebody to do your taxes.

We both pay somebody to do our taxes. The government's making easier for people and, you know, regular day-to-day people to just do their own goddamn taxes, which is wild that that's a novel concept in this country. Right. Me and Mark have talked about it before. Did you know that in other countries that make sense? Yeah. They just tell you.

Every year they just tell you, hey, this is what you owe the government. or whatever. And like, it's insane that we don't do that. It's one of those things like you grow up your whole life in this country. You never think about that. And you're like, oh,

that's just how it works. Then you find out that other places that make more sense do it differently. And you're like, nothing makes sense anymore because why the fuck do we have to do that? Like, why do they make us do that? Friend of the show, Joe Zimmerman has my favorite bit about it where he says,

at the end of the year, the government's like, hey, you owe us money. And I'm like, oh, cool. How much do I owe you? And they're like, why don't you tell us how much you owe us? And I'm like, what if I'm wrong?

They're like, you'll go to jail. And it really is insane. It's fucking bananas. But like to me, that is like, that kind of is such the American system where it's like set up so that they can make someone do the wrong thing and then they can get more money out of them. Like they want you to be wrong. If they didn't want you to be wrong, they would just tell you the number, right? Right.

I mean, or they want you to overpay. They just don't want to do shit. Our government is built entirely around the concept of like not doing shit. I feel like. You know what I mean? I can't hear for them to do stuff. I got to make everybody else do stuff for them.

One of Mark's other points is the IRA, the Inflation Reduction Act, has been a major boon to the solar industry. Apparently, more than $13 billion of new domestic manufacturing investments have been announced in the solar industry. field to date, right? So, you know, it's weird. You know, you put government money behind something like solar and that takes off as opposed to just propping up oil companies and shit like that does seem like that would hit harder. I mean, you know, because you can't have a, you can't have a business.

You can't have an industry in this country without the government funneling money into it. If they're going to do that, they might as well do it for good stuff for things that hit. I mean, I can already see the immediate blowback on. this because most CPAs are probably conservative and they're about to be out of a job and solar panelings for queer. So your move, Joe. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, dude, you know people are going to be absolutely furious. So, and then the last thing, Mark wanted me to note, the Inflation Reduction Act also has led to some pro-union thing. So basically, the Inflation Reduction Act gave a lot of money to bus companies to out to,

replace their diesel buses with, you know, hitting her buses, hitting her for the environment buses, right? Electric buses, electric buses, things of that nature. They offered a lot of money to bus companies to do this, a lot of money, like $500 million worth of money, right? But there were stipulations in the legislation. If you're going to get this government money, you have to agree to remain neutral in any kind of organizing campaign or to recognize a union based on a show of majority support.

So basically, if you want all this government money, you can't be union busting anymore. And they want all this free money, which has led directly to the formation of some new unions in this industry. So it's like it's sort of pro-union, but really it's more like it's just pro-neutrality because they're not saying, hey, form a union and you'll get more money. they're just saying, hey, don't destroy unions and you can have all this extra money. And weirdly, that is working. I'll be goddamned. Yeah, how about that? I mean, go Joe, man.

I mean, this is some good stuff. They're really going with the name IRA. Like, that's sort of disrespectful to that terrorist organization. Like, do you think those guys are like, did we not, like, you wouldn't have called it ISIS. You would have came up with a different abbreviation if it was ISIS, but we get no love. You know, we're not terrified. enough. I'd never, when I heard it when I first came out with it, you know,

talking about it as the Inflation Reduction Act, I didn't think about any of that, but in reading through all this, they keep calling it the IRA and I just keep thinking about, you know, Ireland. But like, you know. I'm just a big cranberries fan, you know, so maybe that's just me.

All right. So with that said, let's get into it with us. This is always his producer, Matt. This is weekly skews. Before we continue on, I do want to remind you guys of a few items of business. Number one, if you'd like to see me slash us perform live, go to Trey Crowder.com. Check out all the upcoming dates. Me and Cho, along with Drew Morgan, we'll be in Knoxville, Tennessee, this weekend. And then Asheville, North Carolina,

right after that, Saturday and Sunday, Knoxville, then Asheville, it's going to be a good time. We've got some fun stuff in store for the Knoxville show, especially. So you guys won't, although the truth is most of those shows are nearly sold out in Knoxville. Nashville. But still, go check it out. Go to Trey Crowder.com. If you're not there, come and see me wherever I'm coming nearby. I got a lot of dates coming up. We're adding more all the time. Treycrouter.com. It'll be fun. Yeah, I counted earlier today. Oh, I'm sorry, Trey. No, no, go ahead. I was going to say I counted earlier in between all three shows we're doing this weekend. There are a total of 15 tickets left. So if you're sitting there listening to us right

now, thinking I want to see those shows, honestly, you need to take a break from the podcast and go order those tickets at tracrouter.com. But also let you know if you're in any of those other markets coming up in the future, hey, you need to jump on it now. Holar at it. Get your tickets come and see me. Number two, since Corey's here, I wanted to remind you guys that me and him have our own other little side project podcast, which is very, very different, called putting on airs

wherein we talk about all things fancy, fancy people, fancy shit, fancy culture, fancy, you name it. New episodes come out. every Friday. You can get it wherever you get your podcast or you can subscribe to the YouTube channel at watch p.OA.com. Joe, is there anything you want to tell them about putting on airs? I mean, I just want to say, and this may be offensive to you, considering we have several other projects together that we're working on, but this is my favorite one. It's the, it's the most fun I have all week. So it is very different from this show, but in these insane times in which we live, if you

need a couple hours of a break from it all just to unwind and have some fun. If you have half as much fun listening to it as we have recording it, then putting on airs is the podcast for you. Sorry, I got a broadcastie. Hell yeah, no,

hit for me. And then lastly, if you enjoy this here program, you can show somebody just fucking said he and I, they're grammatically correcting my fucking podcast straight. You read the comments right now? I wasn't, I haven't been, and then I just looked over don't do that because

well sometimes trolls show up and you never know what's going to go on over there you start reading the comments it's going to derail the whole thing it was a grammatical thing I'm sorry that's all right

and then lastly I want to say if you enjoyed this program and we'd like to show your support for it you can do so by signing up on Patreon you can go to weekly skews.com slash more $5 a month gets you access to full length bonus episodes we just did two straight skew and A's in a row

other than that we cover things that we don't have time for on the main show or that come up in between the main show or just shit we want to talk about. It's a lot of fun. We hope you'll consider it and support the show in the process. Weekly skews.com slash more or go on Patreon and look me up. Sign up on there.

Get some more skews in your life. Now, as for the show tonight, a recent landmark lawsuit would seem to imply that America's mayor, Rudy Giuliani, is not, in fact, the paragon of American exceptionalism that we'd always thought him to be. That's right. I know that's shocking. But it's true.

It's bombshell after bombshell. We'll talk about that a little later, but we've got a lot of other shit along the way, beginning, of course, with the Daily Dumbass. Matt, graphic plea. Tonight's D-D. Aliens who think we can't tell when they're undercover as human beings. Hit it, Matt. How much is that work? Matt, play that again.

Play that again. How much is that work? Okay. Now, Matt, if you could, pull that down and put up the screen shot or the, the, the, the still image of Ron DeSantis in the middle of that moment. It's the next image there. This is Ron DeSantis attempting to laugh in the way that a normal human being would laugh. He's run into problems with this recently. He seems to like malfunction whenever he tries to express the emotion of joy. yeah yeah look yeah totally normal they put who in cages right so I knew I said for a while before we ever even got into the run-up to like the Republican primary for this upcoming election just the showdown between him and Trump I knew I was going to enjoy it along the way like pretty much no matter what you know what I mean and and And I have been because DeSantis has, because I thought, I don't know about you, but I thought that like, I thought before we really got into the meat of it and everything, I thought DeSantis was like, I thought he was the new. Polished. Me too, dude.

Like he was like, because for years, people were like, during the Trump era, people were like, and I bought into this, people were like, hey, you think Trump is bad. You wait till the like next wave shows up, the ones that are like Trump, but they're competent or but they're. they're smart or but they know what they're doing. And I was always terrified by that. And for a while there, when he first burst onto the scene, I was like, Ron DeSantis, that, he, that's him. He's here. Yeah.

That's the guy. He's here. And watching him like flail and fall apart and just get roasted to bits has been thoroughly entertaining for me. I'm not counting anybody out at this point. I'm just saying I think it's funny because it turns out he's really, it's weird. apparently Florida is not the bell weather for the rest of this country that everyone just assumed that it was. Well, dude, I'm with you and me and you have talked off mic and on the well-read podcast several times about how like Ron DeSantis might be the most dangerous man in America because he has all the same core beliefs as Trump except for he's actually a really good politician.

He's slick, you know, he can he can appeal to some people. that don't necessarily like an Adderall riddled lunatic tweeting from the toilet. However, what we're encountering here is something we've also talked about in off mic and on the well-read podcast, which is anyone who tries to emulate Trump can't do it. You cannot coach that. You can't coach that. You cannot. And listen, I know that people are going to get mad for me or us saying this.

And even you saying that you're enjoying the run-up because, Listen, this is democracy failing, all right? But nothing we can do in this moment is going to change that. So it is must-see television. And I, you know, like, but I'm with you. Like, you look at Ron DeSantis and all these people trying to be Trump Jr. And you just want to go, oh, you think you're something, don't you? You know what I mean?

But, like, he's the goat. Here's what's really wild about the whole thing to me is that, like, he's having to, like, move to the right of Trump. Like, he don't have. the charisma with these people, whatever else. So he's trying to, like, out lunatic him. Yeah. Which is insane. Like, for example, like, one of the things Trump is running on is like, I'm not going to take away your social security, right? Right. Which is like, it sucks for me, because it's like that old onion headline. It's like, worst person you know, just made a really good point or whatever. It's like, I see that. And I'm like, thank you, Donald. You know,

right? Broken caught. In trying to like out Trump, Trump, they've gone so far. to the right that it's making some of Trump's shit look reasonable by comparison almost same thing happened with Bush man it's not you know what I mean like same thing happened with Bush but like

yeah I don't like you you the thing is though when you it's like Trump's stuff that he said all the horrible things that he said he said with the swagger of fatty Arbuckle you know what I mean so like you just accepted it it was fun

when you actually hear his pitch and fundamentals from someone talking like a political robot, it sounds like Hitler. With Trump, it didn't. It just sounded like a guy at the bar who was just kind of like, here's what we need to do. And everybody was like, fuckers, making some good

points. Yeah, so DeSantis' recent thing in trying to out-sacco Trump is he's really backing vigilantism, particularly in the case of Daniel Penny. Do you know Daniel Penny is? you know what this? Daniel Penny is what they're calling the Subway Samaritan. He choked out a mentally ill. And I only, dude, I literally only know that because I am informed when it comes to mental health stuff. Like, I get a Google alert. I don't really, but all of my fans text me things or tweet me things. But yes, I, I'm aware of who this poodle-headed motherfucker is.

Right. So DeSantis and a lot of other hard riders like your girl, Marjorie Taylor Green, your home district. there in Georgia, have been hailing Penny as a hero who stepped in to protect others. Matt Gates has come to bat for him. They're raising money for him. They're raised $2.5 million already for his legal defense fund. For people that don't know what we're talking about, Daniel Penny is an ex-marine who was on a subway in New York City when a homeless man started doing homeless stuff. Yes, right. I don't mean that as a joke, just like we've all seen it, you know.

yeah being loud getting in people's faces whatever it was clearly you know having some issues right and uh he's getting out of pocket and so this ex-marine jumps in puts him in a choke hold chokes him all the way smooth to death right and these people are saying he shouldn't be charged with anything you shouldn't anything like that and like uh this whole thing is kind of making me rethink a lot of the Batman trilogy of the

Patman trilogy? Yes! Yes! You knew where I was going with it. Because we knew what I was going with that's right. The fucking Nolan verse

Batman trilogy. It's like a lot of it is like I'm starting to, it's called into question because of this because it's like, you know,

the cops are always like this man can't be out. Like there's Gordon, but the rest of the cops are like this vigilante can't be out here doing this type of shit. And now I'm looking at it, like, they would love that.

Like, fucking, you know what I mean? Like, Batman caught shit for this, but this dude's an American hero. Like, maybe we need to rethink Batman or vice versa or whatever, but yeah. I just saw Guardians of the Galaxy 3, and before it, there was a trailer for the new Blue Beetle movie, which is a D.C. property. And I don't remember much about it except for, obviously, kid turns into Blue Beetle. and his dad is George Lopez. Like, George Lopez plays the character,

not like the Blue Beetle's dad is famous comedian George Lopez. But anyways, they're at the end, like the Blue Beetle is talking about, like, getting his powers or whatever. And he's like, oh, my God,

I'm going to get to hang out with Batman. And the last line of the trailer is George Lopez screaming, Batman's a fascist. And it really hit for me. Because, like, yeah, there is something to say about, like, Bruce Wayne is a tech billionaire who beats up mentally, ill people. Now, but here's the difference

in Batman, though. Here's the difference in Batman. He does not kill them. Like, at least in the back, he tries not to kill them. Listen, I know. I know. Like, he purports not to kill them. I know. But also, kill him. I punched him off the building. Okay. Okay. Okay. But to defend Batman,

to defend Batman, which I will do, a lot of the people in the Batman movies are armed and have guns and they are trying to do some insane shit. If this if, listen, if this dude on the subway, he wasn't armed, right? No, I don't think so.

Dude, if he was armed, we wouldn't be having this conversation. You know what I mean? If he was armed and waving a gun around, then it's like, it's one thing. Now, granted, as a trained military person, you know how to subdue someone without killing them. Without killing them, right? And like, that's the thing. It's like, this dude, I don't know, this, I wasn't fucking there. I don't know.

This guy may have been like, crazy. genuinely threatening the safety of other people or something. And that's not cool. No, it's not. But you don't have to kill him. Right, exactly. Like, we're so bloodthirsty in this country. It's like, it doesn't make it okay to kill somebody.

Do you know how many fucking Alabama fans I've seen at bars during college football that were absolutely acting irate and seem to be posing a physical threat to everyone at the bar? Imagine if I just went and choked. one of them to death. Like, again, if this dude had just got him down on the ground and held him there until everybody could get off, I don't have a problem with it. But he didn't do that. As an ex-military person, he 100% knew that he was killing this man.

And being crazy may be a crime to some degree, but the death penalty is not your sentence. Right. All right. Our first honorable mention for Daily Dumbass is anybody who doesn't think that being white is the same as having mesothelioma. Let's watch this ad from Stephen Miller. Hit it Matt whenever you got there. Chow, I don't know if you recall or if you've had the experience,

but it takes Matt a minute. To be fair to him, we're kind of, me and you sort of going off the rails a little bit. We're not on screw up. He's having the finest play. No, we're not. So anyway, yeah, hit Matt, whenever you got it. If you are a loved one, we're denied a job, raise, promotion, or professional opportunity, as a result of diversity quotas, equity mandates, affirmative action, or other racial preferences we want to hear from you.

Please, call us at 1-877 AFL-5454 or go to AF Legal Affairs. I sort of got lost in the dumb assery. So he has... Is he talking about white people, victims of white racism? Is that what he's talking about? Yes, yes, it is. So he started a, he started like a law firm. or whatever that's supposed to be the right-wing answer to the ACLU, right?

So it's like, you know, have you been victimized by all these queers? I can, you know, call this number. We'll get you money somehow. Oh, wait, that was Stephen Miller? Yes. Dude, I was a, when that was happening, I was about to say, is that that schmigel-looking motherfucker from the Trump administration? But I didn't know it actually was him.

Holy shit. Yeah, so they're going to like, so they're going to be like, You know, in practice, they're going to be representing, like, the free speech rights of Nazis and court and stuff like that is what they're going to actually be doing because all of the rest of this is bullshit. Right. You know what I mean? So it's going to be just things like that. So that's what he's got going on. Have you ever just sit around as a white man and wonder when your life is going to start getting as difficult as these people purport it to be?

Right. Do you know what I mean? Because, like, it hadn't happened. It hasn't happened to me yet. Yeah, I know. Like, I don't know. I don't know how, I don't know how a lot of white people don't feel bad about shit all the time. Do you know what I mean?

Like white guilt, like, you know what I mean? Like, oh man, it does hit to be white. It's so hard. You know. Yeah, right. But like, my thing on that is like, it's like if you, like, I look at white guilt and white privilege is something that like, if I don't wake up and thank God. for it every day, it's in vain. You know what I mean? Like, I enjoy mine. I wish that I didn't. I wish that everyone was treated fairly. I really do wish that everyone was treated fairly. That's not the

case, though, and my life is amazing. So I think that if I don't thank God for it every day, I'm doing a disservice to those that would love to have it. Right. And I just can't imagine being on the opposite end of the spectrum. Like, I just can't imagine being a white, a straight white man in America and being like, when will I get under this boot hill? But the thing is, actually, the thing is,

there are straight white men in this country who are under the fucking boot hill. They're poor trash who are held down by like the fucking rich puppet masters. That's right. But it's not about their race. But they don't, they don't see that. Do you know what I mean?

Like, if they saw that, I'd be with them. I'd be like, Yeah, brother, you're right. Fuck these motherfuckers. We should eat them all. You know, but they don't, it's not about that.

It's like the fucking woke, woke, multicolored queer mob is what's holding them down or whatever. And it's just like, that don't, I don't. Meanwhile, they've never even met one of them. You know what I mean? They're like, what am I supposed to call them? I don't know if it's a girl or boy. It's like, you're never going to be in that position. You're never going to be in that position.

Like, fuck you. Just go weld and have fun. That wasn't, it's fine to weld. Welding is fun. Do you weld in high school? Yeah, we did. My father and, it was my father-in-law's class. Yeah.

So, uh, this next one, I've been, uh, waiting to talk. I've been waiting to talk to you about this. Uh, our next honorable mention for Daily Dumbass is real Americans for not realizing they're going to have to make their own unwoke toilet beer pretty soon because all the beer in this country getting too damn. woke show in case you missed it. Miller Light has joined the ranks of Bud Light in the woke mind

virus. Now listen Matt, before you play this, so I saw that Miller Light was getting canceled by the right for being woke, right? Because they had a woke ad like Bud Light did. And when I saw that, I was like, oh shit, I wonder what this is. You know,

is it, is there, is it a trans spokesperson? Is it a gay couple making out while drinking Miller Light? Like, what like what is this right then i watched it and it turns out it's just a fully clothed woman talking that's all it is i mean three for three don't and that don't hit for them right yeah so if you don't believe me hit it matt play the play the there's a little known fact women were among the very first to brew beer ever from mesopotamia to the middle ages to colonial america women were the ones

doing the brewing centuries later how did the industry homage to the founding mothers of beer, they put us in bikinis. Wow. Look at this shit. Wild. It's time beer made it up to women. So today, Miller Light is on a mission to clean up not just their shit, but the whole beer industry's shit.

Miller Light has been scouring the internet for all this shit and buying it back. So she goes on to say that, like, Miller Light started this campaign where they'll take like their old titty posters and turn them into comedy. compost that they then let women grow hops with or whatever, it's fine. It's all fine. Of course. Well, I'm saying, like, that, like, just the idea that is overly woke is so fucking hilarious to me. And if you don't think that it's bullshit, let me tell you right now, that ad came out three weeks before the Bud Light ad did.

they only just now today or yesterday started giving a fuck about it because someone went back saw it and decided to make it a thing and now they're upset here's my take on this whole situation it's that i don't understand when the switch goes off for these people that they stop getting on their knees and sucking the penis of capitalism until it you know blows a hole in the back of their throat because if you know anything about these big corporations bud light miller light fucking nike whatever you know that their main objective is to make money and absolutely and when they do advertising they don't just have someone willy-nilly come up with an idea and then they go cool do that they have market research they have testers they have test audiences they have statistics

what i'm saying to you is if one of these companies makes an ad they know that this ad will rate more dollars, right? So all they're doing, they're being capitalist. It's just like when people are like Victoria's Secret showing fat women now, it's like, you know why? Because they realize that everyone buys their fucking bras. They want to sell

bras to fat men. Everyone buys their fucking bras, right? And maybe Coors Light and Miller Light and Bud Light don't really do well with women who are drinking Celsius. Right. Right. Because they know that you're going to bitch for two weeks, cut the Nike swoosh off your socks, and then quit.

it, dude, preach. That's all I can say. So give it up for capitalism. Just for, right. Just so everybody knows, like I don't, all these woke-ass commercials from all these different brands, I don't believe any, the brands are not woke, corporations are not woke, they don't give a fuck about anything other than building, you know, the bottom line line for the shareholders.

That's all they give a fuck about. And like you said, you're 100% right. They wouldn't make these ads. if they didn't have analysis and metrics and all this shit that indicate that that's something they need to do. They don't, none of this shit is real with corporations. They don't give a fuck about any of it. They're just trying to make more money. And these people, these dipshit, see these ads.

And they're like, do they not realize who their target demographic is? And it's like, yes, they know. Of course they do. They're trying to reach other demographics with these fucking ad campaigns. It's why Hank Williams. They're trying to spread the, they're trying to grow. Their business to make more money for their shareholders. That's what they're trying to do.

That's all they're trying to do. You fucking idiot. Now, if I believe for one second that any of these people had the capacity for abstract thought to think beyond any of this, and what they're really upset about is, man, you know, as soon as stuff ends up in movies and commercials, that means that there's been a huge paradigm shift in society. And now this is what the populace believes in. This is where we are as a country from a population standpoint. And that means that my ideals are getting left behind.

Yeah, that's what they're mad about. You know what I mean? Like on a subconscious level, it's because, like, dude, if you go watch fucking old Hollywood movies and shit, like there's so much racism, there's so much homophobia. But Hollywood, even at that time, was still the most woke entity in the country. You know what I mean? so like it was always pushing the things forward so it's like whatever hollywood's doing they're trying to replicate what society thinks and it just means that and it's and it is great to see it these corporations don't give a fuck about gay people or the agenda but it is great to see that they know hey more and more people are feeling this way so we have to do it and that's great we have to acknowledge that we have to acknowledge that that's indicative of a encouraging trend and in the greater society.

But that's all it is. That's it. The company's on a one-to-one basis, they don't give a fuck, dude. They don't care. And it's like, I don't know. And they,

you know, we've talked, me and you've talked about this before, like on the well-reb podcast and stuff where they're like, it just killed like the way, they're like, go woke, go broke.

This whole idea. It's like, look, when will they learn? When will they learn? It's like, did they not see what we did to Disney and the NFL? Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, right.

I'm sure they missed. They're like Nike, like the Nike shit with Colin Kaepernick. Their sales exploded through the fucking roof like these dipshits don't understand. You're not taking anything down. Sometimes it's a boon to these companies, what you do. And it's never, ever a death nail. You're not doing anything. you fucking idiots well and they talk out both sides of their mouth too because i have had people

send me twitter like you know you'll have someone send you a twitter message you don't respond to it and then two years later they send you another one so the two messages are beside each other but from two years apart one time i saw one that was this dude had sent me a thing that was like all you're doing you don't believe none of this shit and you're just cowtow into the liberal media because it's going to make you rich, right? Two years later, this guy's like, go woke, go broke. You know what I mean? So, like, they say both of these things.

They're like, oh, all these comedians and actors, they just believe in all this stuff because they can make money off of it. And that's what Hollywood wants. And then they go, go, woke, go broke. It's like, you have to fucking pick one of those things. Is it making money for you or is it going to make you broke because it can't be both? You know what I mean? Right.

Yeah. So it's a 540 almost on the west coast. I want to do this last dumbass quickly, Matt. And then I want to get to what's ostensibly the main topic. Oh, no. Because yeah, well, no, we've been having fun out here. Was this my fault? No, no, we're having a good time.

The next honorable mention for Daily Dumbassers, Joe Biden, of course, for ignoring the threats of mermaid invasion, as they are clearly evident. This is from a Trump event in Miami. Chow, hit it, Matt. There's wickedness attempting to completely cover this nation in perversion and seductive

seducing spirits. I have never seen more images of more mermaids and water people in my life. That's a division in the kingdom of darkness and they're highly technologically advanced. We have to understand what we're dealing with. All right. That's good.

That's good. So yeah, like Mike, did this lady like get drunk and watch Aquaman and think it was CNN or something. It's like, this is Joe Biden's America. The fucking highly technologically advanced Mur people are coming for our American values. What the fuck was that? Like, I thought it was about to turn into like, you know,

their normal indictment of like Disney remaking the classics like Little Mermaid, but it never got there. That's why I'm very confused. like they so so this is like a new adrenicrome thing she's like she's in miami she's in south florida they're surrounded by the water you know they got to do it like they're constantly beset by mur people down there i assume like uh you know like all these goddamn queer fish people keep fucking our shit up it ain't mur people it's either a mur man or a mer woman all right not mur they fuck that they mur them fuck that this is an event uh an event

in Miami at a Trump property with a lot of insanity. She wasn't the only one. Everybody seemed to be a lunatic preacher or God-adjacent person who talked about demons and, you know, evil mermaids and all this shit. And if you think like, okay, well, it's a bunch of crazies doing a vent at a Trump property. Maybe that doesn't necessarily mean Trump's involved. he himself called in to this dipshit Jonestown, Matt, if you got that video real quick. This is General Michael Flynn, noted a felon and Trump Pardney, who's also a huge piece of shit,

who headlines a lot of these events. He called their Lord and Savior from the stage in Miami to get their reaction. So we'll watch a little bit of this. Hey, Mr. President, can you hear us? I can. This place is going crazy. This place is going crazy. General Flynn, he's some general, he's some man, he took abuse like nobody could have handled that he came out.

All right, that's good, Matt. You can cut it off? Can I say something real quick? Just wanted to illustrate that Trump called in to this shit show circus and gave it his tacit endorsement. Yeah, Cho, go ahead. Daniel Perry should have choked that mermaid woman. That's all I want to say. All right.

So what, what? Well, I did, like, so, like, what, what was going to? going on there, that was literally just like, I'm just going to call Trump and he's just going to say a couple things and that'll hit for everybody. Like, that's a feature. Yeah, so they were at a Trump property in Miami. It's a bunch of hard-wright people at a conference there. Again, a lot of, like, preachers get up there, preach fire and brimstone, the woke mine virus is dragging us all to hell. Mermaids are coming. They're queer. Everything's bad, whatever. Like, they're doing that for an hour and a half. Michael Flynn is the headliner.

he gets up there, he calls their Jesus, Trump, on the phone, and everybody loses their mind. That's basically the culmination of it. But before we get to the comments here in a little bit, I wanted to at least mention what was ostensibly the main story of the night that we're just now getting to. Cho, did you hear that Rudy Giuliani is under fire from a former employee of his who has filed a bombshell lawsuit, 70-page lawsuit alleging a lot. of pretty wild shit. You're aware of this? No, but if Rudy Giuliani's under fire, his mascara is going to ruin.

You know what I'm saying? For an introduction. Let's watch this clip from the Lawrence O'Donnell show. Day in his guest room in his apartment. Page 15. Ms. Dunphy was frightened. She said she wanted to get dressed, unpack, and settle in.

She asked for privacy. She said she would meet him in the living room when she was ready, but Giuliani would not. leave, he sat on the bed and pulled down his pants the following screenshot from the film Borat. Subsequent movie film depicts Giuliani acting in a similar manner to how he acted with Ms. Dunphy. And a screenshot from Borat actually appears in this lawsuit right in the middle of the page, this lawsuit against this is the this is the stupid time. This is the stupid time.

timeline that we live in, right? Is the fucking Borat's subsequent movie film is getting quoted in lawsuits about the president's fucking personal lawyer, the former, you know, former American mayor and Times man of the year, Rudy Giuliani. So that hit double for me because at the, I didn't see the Borat mentioned in there. And as they were reading, I was like, just like in Borat. And there you go. In the, in the article you read it, like it reminds you that at the end of it, Borat rushes

into the room and goes, she's too old for you, is she 15? Sasha Baron Cohen remains undefated. Unassailable, my friend. But, uh, yeah, so Rudy, he's going through a lot of shit right now. He's being accused not just of all

this sexual impropriety, although he's being accused of a lot of it. There's a lot of other things he's been accused of too. It's from a former employee or I guess would be employee because he didn't really pay her, she says. That's a loophole.

Yeah. Noel Dunfee, who was hired for him for the ostensible salary of a million dollars a year plus free legal representation in a domestic violence case she had against her former partner, right? So he's like, I'll be your logger for free and pay you a million dollars a year if you come to work for me. If you can't work for me, they didn't pay her shit and just, asked her to get naked and suck his winger and stuff the whole time. That's what he did, according to the lawsuit.

But also, Giuliani is accused in the lawsuit of telling her that him and Donald Trump were collectively selling pardons for $2 million a piece if she knew anybody that needed a pardon and had $2 million. So he's telling his assistant, and he's like, hey, if you know any fucking meatballs on Long Island, yeah, yeah, yeah. If you get out of some shit and also have $2 million, I'm the guy to call me and Trump will take care of it. I didn't even think about how that could be a thing.

That's a fucking good racket right there, buddy. I mean, you could clean up. Yeah. I mean, it's wrong and detestable, but like, you know, good thinking. Yeah, so she says that. She says that because she was working with him. Like, starting in 2019, she says in 2020, he openly was telling her about Trump's plans for if he lost the election, which included, like, claiming voter fraud and that he had actually won the election. Like, he was, she says he was telling her that before any of that ever happened, right?

Uh, but mostly he was just taking Viagra and pulling his wiener out and being a huge piece of shit, right? While also being racist and anti-Semitic, for the record. like we should also state that she says that she says that he was always talking shit about jews and uh black people in mexicans uh because none of them hit for him i guess yeah he said that jews wainers didn't hit uh like and also that they always wanted to reenact their passover why they always want to reenact their passover oh the red sea was parted quote that's not the first time that happened show you know more about the bible than i do What the fuck does that mean?

Say it again? So, he says they're always talking about how the Red Sea was parted, right? That's not the first time that has. Okay, Jews want to go through their fucking Passover all the time. Get over the Passover. It was 3,000 years ago. The Red Sea parted, big deal. It's not the first time that happened.

First off, I would like to say, I agree with the whole get over it. it was 3,000 years ago, part of that. But from all my biblical knowledge, I mean, Moses only parted the Red Sea the one time. So I don't know, I don't know what the fuck he's, I genuinely don't know what the fuck he's talking about right there. Yeah. I mean, don't like the, it's so funny that like there is a large percentage of the country that when they hear that he took a lot of Viagra and pulled his dick out all the time, that literally go he gave her a million dollars you know what he didn't but he didn't okay oh but he didn't like he said he was going to he kept not paying her because he told her i got to get through this

divorce with my bitch wife first that's what he told her like as soon as soon as i divorce my bitch wife i can pay you the million dollars but then that just never happened so he didn't pay her shit and uh pretty much just uh well you know raped her there's no other way to put it i mean based on well yeah i mean based on you know based on how she describes it it's one of the same like there's parts in here that are like easily made fun of yeah of course of course fucking clown and whatever but there's also a lot of parts that are really fucking gross and it's like it's hard to uh it's hard to navigate or hard to parse. So, yeah, he said that.

This seems to happen a lot with the, with that ilk, the whole rape and being not paying people and generally not hitting and being racist. It's like a theme with that party, I think. Yeah. So I think that like Rudy Giuliani is one of the most like, and now I'll grant you, this is an odd thing to say about nine 11. But Rudy Giuliani is one of the most right place, right time motherfuckers that had ever existed in this country. Agreed. Because he, dude, circa early 2002, he was literally Timesman of the year. He was America's mayor. He was hosting Saturday Night Live. He was an American hero. He was like, big guy.

And like, look at, look at. him now, like what we know about him now compared to that. You know what I mean? It's just like he just happened to be in that position and have that job when that thing happened and people thought he hit for a while. He's the Brett Farr of politics. It's like if you'd just walked away, dog, like imagine if he could have just walked away. If Rudy Giuliani had served his, his, his, the last segment of his meridum, you know, like if he had just done that and then be like, you know what, I'm going to write a tell-all book, and I'm just going to go on a speaking circuit for the rest of my life and not do anything else except for be America's

mayor. Dude, the life, the life. But pieces of shit don't do that. You know what I mean? Yes, there's, again, there's a lot of shit in this lawsuit. Y'all should look it up yourself if you want to be grossed out and upset and whatnot. But like a lot of it has to do with his wainter and things of that nature. he like there's some accusations in here that he like so like i said she wanted he was going to represent her for free in a domestic violence case that she had right so she found out later that he was sexually aroused by her talking about the domestic violence she suffered so when she talked about like getting her ass whipped he's getting his dick hard and stuff also he liked to

refer to her in texan shit as his uh as his daughter oh that's yeah another theme i know It's all real, it's all real, real, real, real gross. But, can I say this? That's what Rudy. And also, and she, he would have her, he would have her suck his wiener while he was on conference calls with important people because, quote, he said it made him feel like Bill Clinton. That's what he said. Can I go out on a limb here? Yeah.

I don't think Rudy G. I know. That's what I'm saying. I'm going to add him to. We all thought he hit, you know. What's our list that don't hit? So shocking. Oh, our thing, yeah, our list of things that don't hit, 9-11, right, Hitler, right, genocide.

Genocide. None of those things are-redi Giuliani. Yeah. Yeah, he's made the Mount Rush more of don't hits. Yeah. All right. So I think that's enough of that because, yeah, that's fine. Yeah, it's all, the truth is, it's all pretty gross.

It's all very gross, in fact. At least he looks disgusting, too. Right, I know. I know. It's something got fucking poop. Poop oil dripping down his face and stuff. So, Matt, if you got some questions and comments and whatnot for us in this last five and a half minutes that would work. No Mystic on YouTube says Giuliani was always a piece of shit racist long before 9-11 and long after he had one good day on everyone else's worst day.

Yeah. You're 100% correct. Yeah, he was like. he was, you know, like a tough on crime mayor in New York and that's so like super racist and shit. But because of 9-11, everybody, most Americans thought he hit for a while. But then he exposed himself as someone who does not hit. And he came at the tail end, too, of that period where, like, the divide between Republican and Democrat wasn't as stark as it is today. You know what I mean?

Like, you could have, like, your John McCain's and yada yada, there were people that were like, you know why a maverick you know reach across the aisle but like yeah he was like right at the tail into that where like he'd quit like dude arnold sworetsnager was a fucking republican hits you know what i mean like it was possible right and he's like Arnold is such a rhino you know today like they would never claim that motherfucker today politically speaking Aaron mccullough says hit that like button y'all thank you erin i always forget how do i do that smash that like button i don't know how you do it but just like share subscribe uh rate and review all that all that internet stuff

we would appreciate it here at the skews yeah and while we're saying that go yeah oh god craigist who obviously is someone who watches putting on airs which we appreciate says can tray and cori answer the comments in limerick form no we cannot we're not free style we're not that good we're not freestyle limerick is but yeah limericks have been a recurring theme on putting on airs in the past couple weeks yeah i wouldn't reason you should watch it dude there's my As much as I like freestyle rap, I think freestyle limericks would arguably be harder because you actually have to follow a, like a method, you know. I'm scheme and yeah, right. Yeah, the number of syllables is different. Yeah, it'd be harder. But yeah, yeah, we do do a lot of limericks over at, on putting on airs. Sorry.

Buddy of mine I used to work with had texted me earlier in the week and I called him back and he was like, I'll call you back and he called me back two days later in the middle of this. So I had to call him back on that goes. Epic game of phone tag. Kim Cousado, who's a long-time skewser, says, Corey, you're going to shave for your drag show in Knoxville? Trey says you're going all out.

Damn it, Kim and Matt, you've out. You've outed us. Which is fine. Kim is a Patreon member, and I told my patrons that we were going to be wearing dresses and shit, but now it's out there for the world to see, which is fine. We're performing in Knoxville, Tennessee on Saturday, and we're all apparently, not apparently, We're all going to be wearing women's attire.

So that's a good question, Cho. You're going to shave? The last time I shaved was for Trey, but it was for a comedy central sketch where I played a mamaw. And in that, like, I do like mammal characters now, but I don't shave for it. But in that, it was like, hey, this is a high budget thing, so I'll go all out. That's the last time I shaved my face. I absolutely hate the way I look with no facial hair, and so does my wife. So absolutely not.

I will not be shaking. Well, I'm actually, I'm glad she said that because I had been thinking the same thing. Because like I said, so to catch y'all up a little bit, obviously my homestead of Tennessee is a nightmare shit show, drag ban, all that stuff. People have been performing in Tennessee in drag or in various stages of drag as a form of protest. Like James McMurtry was the tweet of him went viral. He's, yeah, he's awesome singers. songwriter from Texas. Old boy singer songwriter from Texas wearing a fucking dress on stage in Nashville as a former

protest. It's a thing. So we're going to do that too. But like with McMurtry, he's just McMurtry with a dress on. And that's how I will be. And that's also what I'm planning. Yeah. Like pretty much.

It's just, I'm planning on just me with a dress on basically. But there's a big gulf between that and full drag. where it's, like, you know, I mean, I'll put makeup on. All that, right. And I'm down with all that. Oh, I am going to wear wig. Oh, fuck yes.

That's amazing. I can actually go on stage and have hair like I've always wanted to. But Cho, you're going to do all that, but not shave your face? I feel like if you're going to do all that, you got to shave your face. Ain't Lita, like, not do any of that. No. Trey. I look so horrible with.

I have the same. I'm also dealing with the same thing about whether I should shave my face. You shave all the fucking time. I don't shave it all the way down. Yes, you do sometimes and I fucking hate it. I always tell you how much I hate it. I love you with a full beard and a moustache. I don't know.

What you've got right there will grow, but what you've got right there on your face will grow back in literally a week and a half, two weeks. Mine fucking won't. I got a good mustache going right now. Not giving it up. Well, don't do the fucking wig and everything. Yes, I am.

I'm saying. Fuck to you. That doesn't. No, it don't. Makes it harder. Either. Just the position. Look, look, look, you wear the fucking, you wear the ball cap, you got the beard,

the fucking mustache, whatever, and you put a dress on. I'm with that. But no way. You put a dress on and a wig and makeup and everything, but don't shave your face. That's not, it's one or the other. You got to do one or the other. I know what you're doing. No, I'm not.

That middle ground. not make sense. It doesn't make sense. Oh, yeah, because it all makes sense what we're doing. Yeah. It does make sense what we're doing. Either just fucking, first of all, let me, Nicole Johnson says you did a great job filling in tonight. Corey, love when you join us on the skews. Thank you. I love you too, Nicole. But I'm saying, but I'm saying if you keep your fucking trucker cap and your beard and all that on and you just wear a dress, I get that. What about trucker cap on top of wig?

That works. That works. Okay. But if you're going to put the dress on and also a fucking flowing luxurious wig and makeup but not shave your face that don't you either got beef you got monkey big gorilla by the way the other you can't do i recently split the difference like that you got i just pulled the comments back over and everybody's saying tray quit gate keeping protesting tray let him protest the way he wants to and then a slew of people going keep the beard keep the beard so i'm going with the people because that's who i am these people don't know shit anyway i'll see y'all next week i'll see y'all next week go to traycrouter com come and see me live uh y'all can i plug me y'all betrayed me just now but that's fine

go to tracruder dot com for all the shit we got going on watch putting on airs and uh yeah weekly skews dot com slash more can i plug real quick around and yes you can uh i would love it if y'all would go subscribe at part-time funnyman.com. That is my substack. It is like a Patreon. It's just called a different thing. It's part-time funnyman.com. I do bonus podcasts.

I do bonus essays. I write stupid poetry that Trey hates. I do a whole lot of things, and I just started a new series that will come out tomorrow called Three Clicks and a Hick, where I play the fun Wikipedia game, Three Clicks to Hitler. We're doing a lot of crazy stuff on there,

and there's also fictionalized audio dramas. It's great, part-time funnyman.com. All right, that'll do it. Thank you. We'll see you next week. See, love you, bye. Thank you.