Weekly Skews - Weekly Skews 5/25/21 - Aliens? Aliens!

Episode Date: May 26, 2021

Tonight we uphold the high journalistic standard the Skews is known for and discuss UFOS IN AMERICA. Because why WOULDN’T there now be aliens? For the record, Smart Mark isn’t convinced and we’ve got plenty of other topics for y’all too. Join us please.Support the show

Hey, everybody. Welcome back today's Tuesday. May 25th, 2021. I'm Trey Crouter, and that's Mark Adjew. What's up, Mark? What's up, Sherey? How you doing? I'm doing all right, buddy. We may or may not be having time to have a difficulty tonight. We're going to find out in real time, so y'all. You all know us. I know. Hard to believe. But, yeah, we might have some issues with our clips tonight. We will see. But either way, me and him will be running our mouths, whatever happened with that. So, yeah. Those always work for the ride. Do you trade, do anybody trying to buy a house right now? No, but I'll tell you this.

I live in Southern California, obviously, as do you, with my wife and children. And I've been, I've lived here since 2017, and I've been terrified to even attempt to buy a house the entire time and remain so, especially after the pandemic, because it seems to be such a cluster fuck minefield. Why do you ask? One of our mutual friends I was talking to was trying to buy a house, either Austin or Dallas, lives in L.A., but just wants a place on the real world to retire to you one day, right? And he was talking about, like, he was got like, I'll pay you half a million dollars cash, which is usually enough to buy a place in Texas. He would want listing price, 500 tried that, couldn't find anybody to take 500, started offering places over, like, here's 100K over what you're doing. what you're asking for. Nope, already sold. People are paying $750,000 cash for houses that were listed at five.

Apparently, this is a nationwide fucking phenomenon, and no one can really tell you why it's happening. It's like 20 different reasons to look at experts. But I was scrolling across these facts. This is a stats from Redfin, all right? One, currently in America, there are no more realtors than listings. Don't know how that's happening. Housing inventory is down 40% this year, which one of reasons demand so high.

Home selling 17 days a record low. Housing prices are up 24%. year over year homes homes on average are selling two percent higher than asking price but two percent sounds ridiculous but like this is like new housing permits are up like 40 percent in 48 percent in Chicago 40 percent in L.A., 50 percent in Seattle. No one knows, but we're doing our own housing boom. We're doing it voluntarily. Apparently people say to a bunch of money during quarantine and want to blow it

on a place they can work remotely from. It's further away from where they currently are. So lumber prices are up 300 percent, right? Good luck building a fucking house. Well, I tell you. Personally, I blame HGTV. That's the theory I'm going with. Look, I don't know at all what I'm talking about here.

But just coming off the dome, I believe this is HGTV's fault. There's been, you know, people have gotten hooked on this flipping houses. Love it listed all this type of shit. And it's just led to this cultural explosion of fucking with real estate. That's what I think. You think they spent the whole pandemic year, watch stream, uh, bingeing HDTV and now they want a yard to, uh, to turn it to put a treehouse in or something. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, obviously, I'm sure it's some, you know, oligarchal bullshit that's really going on.

Yeah. But that's my fun answer is that it's HGTV's fault. So I think they're happy. I would assume there's some private equity dickbaggery somewhere involved in this. It's got it. And also, it has something like that. And also people can work remotely. I saw like not like people were going to remotely, people are moving for like California to like a, like a, like a, like a. lower like a lower real estate state and so their wife can stay home with their kids or they can retire early which is like more power to them more money equals freedom that's part of your labor shortage we keep like we keep hearing about people have more money so they're voluntarily leaving the labor force to spend time with their kids horrible horrible shit like that for the economy fucking terrible right yeah it's not just like also like the student loan crisis in the year without

work and the uncertainty of the future and everything and then you know but at least it's hard and fucked up and expensive to buy a house. So we got that going for us, which is nice. All right. Yeah. Late capitalism rules, baby. Yeah, the show. Let's do it.

With us as always his producer, Matt, doing his best to make it work. This is weekly skews. Tonight, we discuss the state of criminal justice reform in this country on the anniversary of George Floyd's death. Is shit changing? Will it change? Can it change in this country? We will talk about it.

Also, while we acknowledge this is quite the tonal shift, we will attempt to lighten the mood and also uphold the high journalistic standard this show is known for. And talk about aliens for a little while. I mean, if 60 Minutes can do it, then we can too. All that and more on tonight's weekly skews. But first, as always, the Daily Dumbass. Matt, are graphics still cool? Yeah, well, at least we got the graphics, baby.

tonight's dumbass for the second week in a row. And listen, I don't want to crown her too early or anything. But I've got to say, if she keeps up this pace, it is possible she could surpass Donald Trump on our all-time dumbass leaderboard. So something to watch, skews fans. She's the Zion Williamson of dumbass. It's just fucking a young upstart who's dominating in unprecedented levels. And y'all already know who we're talking about. She's back again. It's Marjorie Taylor Green, who is incensed at the treatment, that the persecution being faced by anti-maskers and anti-vaxxers, both on the floors of Congress and the streets of this country.

And if the video works, here's what she had to say. Try it, Matt. This woman is mentally ill. You know, we can look back in a time in history where people were told to wear a gold star, and they were definitely treated like second-class citizens, so much so that they were putting trains and taken to gas chains. members in Nazi Germany. And this is exactly the type of abuse that Nancy Pelosi is talking about. Well, let's talk about the Queen of the House of Hippah. Exactly. This is exactly

the type of thing that they are facing, Mark, the literal Holocaust. There's a certain kind of brain disease where like the Nazis have become this like cartoon and moment of evil where everything they did is just like, I mean, I'm not saying they weren't evil. I'm fucking saying, like, we hold them up to be like, other than human, kind of, we sort of dehumanize them. These are regular people just doing office jobs

and including running the fucking Holocaust. Right. That's hugely important to remember in my opinion is the fact that they were just regular people. That's what makes it so much more fucked up. But you're right. They're treated as like comic book villains or something. Yeah. But it's not the like the Nazis making the Jews where yellow stars was

the best thing that they did. But Also, if that had been the worst thing that they did, they probably wouldn't be such a big chapter in theistic books. Like, she's talking about this is up a program where some stores letting their employees go maskless if they were willing to put a button on their name tag so they were vaccinated to put customers at ease. So it would encourage their employees to get vaccinated because they get vaccinated.

They can stop wearing their fucking masks at work. Seems like a good incentive program. Also, it's just like a yellow star, which is obviously the worst thing the Nazis did. So that's basically where we're at. Well, also, it's not like Jews literally, endangered the lives of other people by just being Jewish, you know, or gay people for being gay and all the other people that were targeted by the Nazis. You know what I mean? Like,

that's obviously the massive difference here is the reason people are even telling you you should wear a mask is because not doing it could kill someone. Just continuing to be a Jew wasn't going to endanger anybody in, you know, the 1930s and 40s. So it's just false equivalency all around. But it feels like they always go to the Holocaust. You know what I mean? I guess because the comic book villain thing, but it's always like, you know what this is like? Let me guess.

Is it the Holocaust? And it is every time. That's always their go-to. Yeah. I mean, she You know else drove Mercedes-Benz's dreg? You know who else were Hugo Boss? You know who else who had trains?

Had interstates? Holy shit. Yeah. She was asked about it. it. Of course, she's been asked about it countless times, but she was asked about it after this happened, and she doubled down very much so, I know, hard to believe. But what she said was, because I'm unsure of the video clips, what she said was, I think, first she said, I didn't say anything wrong. I stand by what I said. And furthermore, any rational Jewish person would be

upset about the Holocaust. I'm with her there. And then she continued. And also, any rational Jewish person would be upset about all this shit that's going on. So, you know. Yeah, and in response to this, remember this is the same group that just kicked Liz Cheney out of caucus for refusing to go along with the big lie, the election was stolen, right?

And Marjorie Green still remember good standing. Kevin McCarthy, after like a week of her doing this dumb shit, includes she did this big rant where she called, we could be, that's one of the videos we're in trouble with, but she called, I called Nancy Pelosi speaker mask hole, and then she bashed and how funny that was for like five minutes.

She just soaked it in from the crowd. And it's just like, so anyway, Kevin McCarthy put out a statement today, admonishing her for the inherent anti-Semitism in her remarks for about a half a paragraph, then the rest of the statement was about how the real anti-Semitism's on the left in the squad or whatever. And so things are going well for them. Anyway, if you thought that was going to pacify her, so she responded to that. She quote tweeted someone calling Kevin McCarthy a feckless C-word.

So his deal with the devil definitely paid off. So, yeah, some dude, if you're only listening, there's this guy some, you know, dip shit on Twitter who's, uh, whose Twitter username is literally a simple patriot. Yeah, his screen name was American 357. So I think of that. Yeah, you know, like the magnum. Yeah. Anyway, he quote tweeted Kevin McCarthy saying she was wrong to have invoked the Holocaust while talking about mass protocols.

And he said, uh, he said, but look, you, you moron, nobody supported Israel in their recent conflict with Hamas more than MTG did. Her analogy may not have been perfect, but you seriously need to get a grip. You feckless sea word, Pelosi is the villain here. She retweeted that. She's in Congress, and she retweet. She didn't just retweet it. She quote tweeted it and elaborated on it.

This dude calling Kevin McCarthy a, well, you know, you get it, a C word. And so it's also, it's funny to me that we're censoring in it. We're censoring the word here, but it's very funny to me that this dude censored it. Again, if you're only listening, he put C asteris, asteris, T. So this guy, it's just funny to me that this. this guy censored that word. You know what I mean? Like, I guess he's married

and he fucking knows better or something. But I also wonder how much that played into her decision to retweet it. Do you know what I mean? Like, if he had spelled it out, would you have had any pause? Like, did she consider the asterisk? And she was like, oh, well, it's fine then.

I mean, these people will never learn that you cannot, it's, they live in the scorpion and the frog thing over and over and over and over again. Yes. You cannot, you cannot, appease a moron because they have one speed it's straightforward full speed ahead like she cannot just there's no off ramp for her you cannot give her a different lane to take she doesn't want another line she wants this lane she likes it so you can tell her you can tell her to

screw off or you can follow her but you cannot lead her from behind it doesn't work that way and uh anyway uh she see Pelosi's the real villain here and i absolutely think Pelosi's a villain a lot of stuff. But in this one, all she's doing is requiring members of Congress who get paid like $180,000 a year base pay plus a ton of perks to wear masks or get vaccinated. That's all she's asking to do or face a little bit of a fine. And that's what makes Pelosi Hitler. So, yeah. Yeah. All right. So our first honorable mention tonight is Joel Greenberg. Is that right, Mark? That's his name. Joel Greenberg. Yes. Who is a renowned. a serial child sex

trafficker, allegedly. And that's why he's an asshole. But the reason he's a dumbass tonight is for being friends with Matt Gates. One of his many poor decisions he's made. And if I wonder why I'm saying that, Matt, if we could attempt to play the clip, please. I'm not too worried about it.

All right, well, there you go. That's what we were worried about with the first one. At least we got through the first one. But in that clip, Gates says, I'm not too worried about this guy because this is a guy who accused people who aren't guilty of anything for being guilty of a thing. And now he's in jail for it. So, you know, fuck that guy. What I'm really worried about is socialism. And yeah, so does he go a little

before his death of specifics here? So, so he says, how can you trust what this guy saying when he's trying to accuse me of being involved, of being a pervert? Because literally what he's in jail for is accusing someone else and being a pervert. That's absolutely true because the first thing Greenberg was investigated for was starting a bunch of sock puppet accounts

and running like using campaign funds to try to push out this message this guy running against him in the Republican Party primary for county tax assessor was a pedophile, right? He did do that. Matt Gates is a dumb ass

because he kept being friends with this guy afterwards and he's saying, how could you trust this guy who tried to frame another guy for being a child molester? He's just doing the same thing to me. But he did it. and trust him. You trusted it.

You were the one that kept party with him after he did that. So something about being judged with the company you keep I think is the lesson here. But like, how can you tell us not to trust the motherfucker when you trust him? He was your boy for years. Also, in that clip, it turns out

Matt Gates is saying all this while he's on tour with who, you guessed it, Marjorie Taylor Green. Matt Gates and MTV making rounds just out there. The the blue-collar comedy tour of fucking vile dip

shits. I saw in about 1998, I think, I saw Wu-Tang Clan and Rays Against the Machine at an outdoor concert and Meredith Post in Maryland. It was awesome. One of the best concert I ever did. Can you mention two better acts to see at their peak

than those two groups? No, dude. No, that's super fucking sweet. Except these two. I can't that's got to be the hottest ticket. I've decided to do headlines. Like Wutang and Rates, flip-flop. You've got to, like, trade-off headlining that tour. Yes, this is the

Wu-Tang Clan and Rage Against the Machine of Brain Damage, Q&N idiots. Well, remember, MTG's main reason we're getting into politics, which tried to stop child sex traffic. Now she's on tour. It's like, she's doing the speech.

I had not considered that. That's, boy, that's just their whole thing in a nutshell, man. Yeah. Yeah. Let me get the funniest DM from Matt with the private chat, Matt just said, I have the screen grab by the chicken lady. I'm not sure we're going to explain you guys what that means,

but I guess maybe we'll give it a shot because we can't play a video. So throw the screen grab up here from Tucker Carlson. I don't think we need to preface it because it's not going to make any sense anyway. We'll just have explained afterwards. It says a clucking disaster, the CDC comes out, it urges against kissing and snuggling chickens. This is a real screen grab from Tucker Carlson's show. So Tucker did a segment last week where the CDC apparently is a salmonella outbreak in 40-some states, people have gotten sick.

The CDC is asking people to not, among other things, do not hang out with their pet chickens and pet them and snuggle them and kiss them. Apparently, this is a thing among hippies and hipsters to keep chickens in their backyard. It's not just a hillbilly thing. One of the many things that the hipsters have stolen from the hillbillies trade yardbirds. So He's trucker's doing this Manly as a way to own the CDC Because it sounds like a silly thing

And so why would you trust them on masks When they're obsessed with things like snuggling chickens Except people are getting a salmonella They're trying to give you so I don't I don't fucking understand What he's doing doesn't make any sense He's just trying to confuse old people But he did find this woman to come on his show And talk about how it's in John Just

The CDC wants to stop kissing her chicken She's a former bachelor contestant Who now is a chicken influencer on Instagram So that's where Yeah so the whole his whole thing is he's trying to undermine the very concept of the CDC with his audience right that's the deal here by being like yeah sure they say this about mass but you know what else they're saying not to kiss chickens you imagine like yeah what kind of organization is this and then he brings on the the chicken lady who loves to kiss and sleep with her chickens uh you know which is fine hell no judgment and um but yeah There, it's not just, this is like the logical culmination of like 50, not just 50, 70 years.

The entire concerted projects have been like undermined the whole concept of the public good. Like anything where it's like, let's all pull together and do this and make things better for all of us. They're like, no, fuck that as a concept. Fuck that as a staff, record label and a crew. I don't like the idea of it. So even you have a friendly old doctor and I'm not happy with everything the CDC's done the last year and a half. But if you, like, anybody is like, come on, guys, let's all stop kissing chicken so we can lie. so less people will die with Salmonella.

It's like, I won't even stop doing that. Fuck you. I'm going to kill. They're going to start kissing chickens now. Yeah. That's what they're going to do. They're like, where's the closest chicken? We're like, we're less than six months away from them saying we should put lead back in gasoline.

I'm not even fucking. Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah, it's funny because we talked about last week, them starting to wear masks just to own the lives because. Yeah. whatever the hell that works also two chicken related stories in a row they've been on one about chickens lately it was chicken sails last week our last honorable mention is uh honestly most of us are dumbasses for not thinking of the idea to start a fake farm to make up a fake farm in order to get free money from

the federal government mark explain what happened there all right so uh in the middle of a horrific bank deregulation, but a bunch of apps have started up, like, basically this app had the idea to, like, speed up underwriting based to automate it with algorithms. And so, they also, one of the programs was handling PPP loans. So you could apply for a PPP loan through this app, but apparently didn't do enough due diligence.

And no one even knows who got these loans. But anyone who looked at them should have known, because here's a list of hypothetical farms that got $7 million in loans. These are about $20,000, $30,000 each. Gunther, Poison Snicks, LLC. see. Another farm was named Lord Pigs. A third was named Beans for Eat. That's the number four, by the way. All one word, beans, the number four, eat.

Beans for eight. Yeah. Which is what beans are for. They are. You can't argue. Another one went to a hypothetical potato farm in Florida. And the guy who got that loan for his potato farm in Florida, where I don't think there were any potato farms. his name was Neil Potatoes. Yeah. So I just want to, Neil Potatoes over here.

So basically any, anybody watching this show who's not Neil Potatoes is a dumb ass who missed out of a bunch of free money. Because like the people whose names on these loans, they call them up and be like, hey, are you a, are you a beet farmer? They're like, I've never eaten a beat in my goddamn wife.

I'm like, okay, well, somebody got $20,000 in your name. Dude, it's so, like, do you, okay, do you think that, These were, like, people mostly trolling. Just like, you know what I'm going to do if I can apply for a Neil Potato's loan?

And then they got a purve and they were like, holy shit, I got $20,000. Or were these all, like, sincere efforts that, I mean, I assume it is probably that one, but that makes it funnier that these are the names they chose. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, if they were, like, sincere efforts to defraud the government, why are the names so ludicrous? Because they knew, like, they're not going to fucking check. They don't give a fuck. like or like i don't know it's weird man and hilarious this is total hypothesizing all right

just on my part but but here's my guess here's my guess what i imagine most of these loans went to one person who got most of the seven million dollars once they figured out this app was easily easily gained and they probably started off trying real hard to come up realistic sounding names with real people's names attached to it then they realized it was way easier than that they were just giving it to whoever yeah yeah hit their vapor would be like neo potatoes laugh for half an hour $20,000. Beans for Eith. Like a bunch of idiots.

It's probably a Reddit subthread with their pitch of names, you know, a subreddit somewhere. Yeah, it is probably some like fucking Wall Streety type guy who was like, there's this, there's this story. And I'm not claiming it's true in the country music world. And obviously, I'm not like a fan of this dude. But there's a story that Toby Keith was at a party once and was drinking beer from a red solo cup and said, you know what?

I could write, they were talking about his songwriting prowess and he was like, I bet you I could write a chart topping head about this goddamn cup or whatever. I know you can't Toby. And then he wrote Red Solo Cup, which went to the top of the charts or whatever. And this is like the finance version of that maybe. They're like, I can't give, I can't get them to give Neil Potatoes money fucking say I can't. And then he just, and then he did it. Beams 4-8. It's making them more ridiculous just to prove a point. I mean, what you're describing right now is like meme stocks, which we talked about GameStop. a couple months ago, but like, everybody who put their entire life savings into Bitcoin, whether or not they'll ever be able to buy food again or retire, is it dependent entirely upon what Elon Musk tweets tomorrow, right? So this is the whole economy now. So I hope Toby Keith went long on Red Solo Cup futures before we put that song. We live in a meme-based economy.

It's true, though. It's funny and true. Okay, so listen, the first of at least two tonal shit. Let's talk about, as everybody's aware, today is the anniversary of George Floyd's death. And his family has taken the occasion to urge Congress to actually pass some police reform. They met with Joe Biden, who, you know, they said was extremely respectful and listened and all that, but also said they had to make sure they got the legislation right. And there's been the George Floyd bill has passed the House of Representatives twice,

but Senate won't vote on it, whatever. So, of course, everything's moving at a glacial pace. So how are you feeling, Mark, about the prospect of actual police reform in this country one year after the fact? Well, the actual bill are considering. It would ban chokeholds, which is fine. It won't do anything. Chokeholds have been illegal in New York, and the guy who choked Eric Garner to death didn't even lose his job. He did it on camera.

They argue that it wasn't choking or whatever. I don't know. All that stuff can be very parsed. Republic is already going to fight that because who gives a shit because no one's going to be held responsible for doing a chokehold anyway. The bill, as proposed, would end qualified immunity, which if you don't know qualified immunity is, is basically the idea invented out of whole cloth by appeals court judges

that says that if a police officer hasn't been instructed specifically, that specific act isn't unconstitutional, then they can't be sued for it. So, but it, it, they're certainly specific, you'd be like, like, oh, you never told this guy couldn't shoot a fleeing suspect in the back. And then it's so funny because that's like, that's the flip version of that Chappelle bit. I'm sorry, officer, I didn't know I couldn't do that. Like, it's the cop version of I didn't know I couldn't do that, which, you know, doesn't

work for regular people, obviously, but it's like that flipped around. but it's like so but it gets you know like absurdly parsed we're like so that so now you've held that you it's unconstitutional shoot a guy in the back so in the next case another guy shoots guy in the back and like oh but that was the upper back this is the lower back so he can't be sued for that either can be no response for that it's like like the big cases where a guy like sat on a guy's kneecap bent it backwards to break it and the judge is like well you never told him specifically he couldn't do that no one's ever ruled that that's unconstitutional so but we we all understand the tortures are constitutional but but you can always find Harris a split whereas no one's been instructed

specifically not to be evil. So anyway, this is not a law. Qualified media is not based on the law. Republican judges invented it. So they need to pass a law to get rid of it. That would be good. That's the part Republicans are going to fight.

Have I told you, so I had this idea of way to solve this problem, I think. All right. Yes. Let's solve it, Mark. Let's do it. Do you know how when bees sting someone, their tails fall off?

The stingers falls off so they die, right? Yes. that's their disincentive for using their stinger is that they can only use it once so my proposal is if you kill someone on duty as a police officer you understand that's the end of your job so when you say my life was threatened we know you we know at least you believe it's some

because you're willing to lose your job over discharging your weapon right yeah why can't we do that like that okay you you you may at least sacrifice your financial future to make sure you could walk go home a night so therefore. Like Derek Chauvin, like it shouldn't be like where I think George Floyd was the third person, second or third person he killed. And there'd been other other use of force complaints against him. And he kept being able to go back to work. It's like, well, why did the revision report for George Floyd, by the way, said he died in natural causes? If a bunch of people

hadn't filmed it, that would have been the official story. 100%. Yeah. So nobody would have ever heard shit about it if there hadn't been cell phone cameras there. Yeah. So I find, to find you all it's been a year and almost nothing's even attempted to change but there are here's the part that concerns me there are a bunch of people already trying to make it worse because the we can't play video but there's a question there's been all this meme popping up lately about what are we going to do about the surge in crime now um no one understands why but shootings are way up the last couple years not conservatives would tell you it's because the black clouds matter movement made things more lawless and cops are scared to do their job they're fucking full of shit

violent crime dove after the 70s. Nobody knows why. It's still way lower than it historically has been throughout of modern American history. No one knows why. But even though property crimes down all over America, you're seeing stories about the shoplifting surge or epidemic or whatever, about shoplifting gangs, organized rings to trade goods for fentanyl or whatever,

which I have a reason to disbelieve that's happening at all somewhere, but it's not a big societal fucking problem. Although Walrines is running a big campaign trying to get people to crack down on property crimes, even though property crimes down overall, as I said. Jim Posaki was asked a question today about the surge in crime, and really annoying me about it, which she didn't dispute that it's actually some big problem that requires a bunch of reinvesting in criminal justice and locking more people up. She basically said to say, well, this started before the presidency and tried to duck responsibility for it, which is true and fine, but also because these are big things that happen without one.

factor or one contributing reason. And it's hope people don't fall this idea that what we need to do is lock more people up or invest in a bunch of intense, more intense violent policing because America locks more people up than any place on earth. If that was a solution, crime would be solved here. We wouldn't have any crime. Also, I feel like, and again, I don't know, obviously I'm just pulling this out of my ass, but, you know, maybe it's got something to do with fucking increasing income inequality.

You know what I mean? as you like put fuck more and more people over and make more and more people desperate, you're probably going to have more and more crimes being committed by those people, I would think, like as we continue down the same trajectory we've been on

for so long. And then the pandemic, I know that Jen Saki said in that answer to the question, she was like, well, this actually, this goes back to when the pandemic started. And you said earlier, it's like, oh, for the past two years it's been rising or whatever. But I mean, it wouldn't surprise me to find that crime

has risen since the beginning of the pandemic for the same reason. You know what I mean? Like desperation can lead to that type of shit. Also, you know, as long as there continue to be fucking people are giving guns at birth, there's going to be more shootings

that happen too, you know, just all that shit. It's what, yeah, it's like, just like the real estate thing up top, it's a confluence of a myriad of factors that come together to form shit like that. I just like, Not George Floyd.

There was a, the Philly, the Philly D.A. election just happened. And Larry Krasner, who was like a big hopeful, like, close thing you can have in America to progress in D.A. And we have a new one in L.A. too, a part of the same movement. And they tried, all the forces that be in Philadelphia, because he came in, he fired a bunch of career prosecutors who were assholes who were being too harsh for no reason. He promised not prosecute people for, like, marijuana possession. And he's tried to get rid of cash bail, a bunch of shit like that.

And they tried to, you. use this short-term spike in crimes. No one can attribute anything to his soft-term crime policies, as they put it. Now, he wanted to leave re-election. So I'm hoping people are understanding this is a juke to get more money and to get cops paid more and to get more money into private prisons and shit. It's not about actually solving a society's problems. But, yeah, I mean, look, domestic, most murders are domestic or local or about, like,

personal beeps, right? They're not like random shootings on the street. That's just not how human beings behave. So it would not surprise to me after a year of being stuck in home with people. Domestic disputes were up, arguments from neighbors were up, all that shit. Domestic disputes spike in the summertime because it's hot. They spike on Super Bowl Sunday because people are mad their team lost. So it's like trying to attribute this stuff to like criminal justice policies is crazy to me.

But I mean, I saw people, people are stressed out, dude. The first called most of the pandemic, I saw like three different people getting fights walking their dogs in my fucking little suburban Los Angeles neighborhood. But it's like, people are fried, man. To try to attribute it to, like, what you think your sentence is going to be, where they're not going to get cash bail when you're in a moment we're in a fist fight with somebody. No one thinks that. Right. No one thinks of that.

Right. Yeah, exactly. So you said, you were like, oh, you know, it's a duke to get more money for criminal justice and that type of thing. You want to transition now? Yeah. I'd say that's going to be a theme here. Yeah. That philosophy.

Because we've got a name in his mark. Yeah. Speaking of coordinated publicity campaigns trying to generate more tax funding for someone's specific priorities, let's talk about the government's coordinated

alien insurrection rollout, all right? So, Tray's been want to talk about aliens for a couple weeks. We didn't get around here last week. Probably longer than a couple weeks, but especially the past two weeks.

I've been like, Mark, let's talk about aliens. He's like, we're not fucking talking about aliens. But tonight we're talking about aliens. So, yeah, let's do it. I do want to talk about it because this is like a very fascinating example

of like somebody very interesting to me, But so about two weeks ago, 60 minutes did this big piece that went viral, interviewing this guy used to work for the Pentagon and a couple of Navy pilots about UFOs they've seen and have video of. Now, an important component of this is the Pentagon has rebranded UFOs to be UAPs, unidentified aerial phenomena. This is part of the, this is a giveaway to me that they're rebranding it to be more creditable to get rid of all the horrific. Only like hippie weirdos of ponytails who smoke weed and their 46 believe in aliens, right? So the rebranding. We can't show you the video, of course, but a couple things jumped out of me about it, that were also a little bit of giveaways.

All the sightings they talked about Roth, the Atlantic Coast, they kept talking about it, which is, you know, they're aliens are scoping out D.C. We've got to beef up a national defense, so they can't take out our national defense infrastructure, right? And they also talked about how these UFOs, remember, not from this planet, don't really care about anything going on here specifically if they were doing anything if you were looking at us like zoo animals and there were no threat to them

but they said they were hovering over a restricted airspace. Now why the fuck would an alien give about what air, care about what air restricted airspace is? Okay, listen, I think we're getting ahead of ourselves a little bit. We're probably going to jump around a lot because I have some reactions to what you just said, but I want to say, just everybody knows

has some context here. Listen, I've always been like at least mildly into aliens, right? I've always, my sincere actual thoughts on aliens are, I think statistically, mathematically speaking, to me, it's a virtual certainty that other intelligent life exist in the universe and also probably virtual certainty that some of them are spacefaring. I believe that just because of how big the universe is. That doesn't mean any of them have ever been here or that any of that is the case, but I'm saying I do think they exist somewhere, okay? So, having put that out there, I used to be fascinated with like, yeah.

God damn you, Matt. I didn't know Matt, had even made this. If you're only listening, he put my face on me. God damn it. He put my face on the aliens guy. I'm not saying it's aliens, but it's aliens. And it's my face. Matt, that's the best thing you've ever done.

See, now I don't even want to keep talking, but I'm going to keep talking. Matt just absolutely bodied me with that. I did not know that was coming. So I'm just saying, I've been open to this. Mark's idea, of course it was. Teaming up behind my back. It's okay. It's fine.

I've always been very open to this idea. I never, ever in my life thought you would see the U.S. government, like, acknowledging that it might even be a thing. Here's my questions for you, Mark, about what you just said. You're like, oh, they're all off the Atlantic coast. They're all in restricted airspace. Could that be a 90% of shark attacks happen in shallow water type of thing? Or 90% of car accidents happen within five miles a home or whatever, meaning like, that's where, the people that are reporting this are Navy pilots.

That's where they're, that's where they are flying at. Where else are they going to see them and report them? Also, Redneck's been reporting alien. abductions as long as you can remember. God damn it. It's not just out there, but I'm saying these reports are from Navy pilots. That's where they are. They're not going to, they're not going to be able to report them from somewhere else. So of course, that's where it's all taking place at. Okay. All right. So first of all, my general thoughts in aliens. It's not that I don't believe that life exists elsewhere in the universe. Mathematically, it's an incredible certainty, right? Law and

large numbers has to be. Like, but one, to presume, to presume that's intelligent life is weird. most life from this planet is just like about eating and fucking and pooping, right? Drafts. Draft's not building a ship to go anywhere, right? There's no reason to think that life from the planet plants would be intelligent. There's no reason to think that we aren't the most developed species in the universe. There's no reason to think. It's possible that we are first.

We could be the first one to have gotten as advanced as we had. I mean, yeah, that's possible. Also, it's just like, I always had this thought even as a kid that it was weird that not only did we give God like, we anthropomorphize God have very human qualities, but we give him, like, the worst human qualities? Like, like, the God in the Old Testament's, like, he's like, you've got to sing songs about how great are he am or I'm going to kill you. Like, why do you mind?

If that's a person, would you go to his party? Like, that's King Joffrey, right? So we look at these aliens. We do the same thing. It's like, well, they're coming here to kill us. Like, well, maybe they're not bloodthirsty like us. Maybe they don't think like that. No, I agree with that.

I'm view on that. As far as like that whole, like, that whole Stephen Hawking thing of like, look at what happened to the Native Americans. when Europeans showed up. That's what will happen to us when aliens show up. And I was always like, well, part of our evolution, and we still got a long way to go, but part of our evolution has been this sort of moral evolution as well.

Do you know what I mean? Like, you should just, cavemen used to just fucking hit people over the head with rocks and do whatever the hell they wanted to with them or whatever. And then we were fucking burning women at the state for lack of numbers and shit. And you know what I mean? Like, we've advanced in that direction too. so why wouldn't a civilization that has advanced so far beyond us technologically also have done so morally and ethically?

I agree there's no reason to assume that they would come here just to kill us. I will say, I think there's some people after this past year who are probably standing out in their yard just looking at the sky. Like, do it, you fucking cowards! Fucking do it! They're holding the gun to his head in an action movie, you know? But yeah, I agree with you on that. There is a I'm just anyone who's like lived through it was alive in 2003 I think would instinctually be suspicious of the military announcing there's a big threat we got to worry about

right I and so like I just like this is not a recent thing it's like we can talk about they remember the main or the Gulf of Tonkin or whatever like we go through this and like America is so powerful we don't have any we don't have any earthly enemies left right they're They're basically gone. We can pretend ISIS is a threat, but ISIS doesn't have an aircraft carrier. They can't fucking have an Air Force. You can't get here. There's no, like, so in the military, it's like, we need a new super jet.

It's like, for what? For what fucking reason? Aliens. All right? So it's like, there's a, there's a famous quote from Colin Powell when his secretary, when he's chairman of the Joint Chiefs under the first Bush, McClinton or whatever. He's like, he told civilian authorities, you have to find me an enemy, right? And eventually what they settled on was Saddam for the first Gulf War,

and he was the big enemy to like 2003. But like at the time of the first Gulf invasion, Iraq had the third biggest army in the world. We cut through them in about three hours, right? There's no threats. So why would we give them any more money? And like every time the question comes up, why would we give them more money?

There's a new threat analysis. And fuck, I'm suspicious of it. I'm just inherently suspicious of it. And even, by the way, it's hopeless. If an alien is sophisticated enough to travel of intergalactually to get here, we cannot defend ourselves against it. No, not even at all. I agree with that completely.

That's why I feel like it's, so what is to drum up funding for the Space Force? Like, is the DOD still sold on the Space Force, even in the post-Trump era? Like, they're like, we got to do something to get money funneled into the Space Force. Also, the DOD hasn't, they need, I mean, I don't know. I guess I sort of understand that. The second point you made, I agree with, it's like, with that, what are we going to do if that is the case? you know, like, we're fucked either way. But I just feel like the DoD doesn't need,

if they need excuses to drum up funding, which they're already flush with anyway, it's wild to me that they sat in a room and landed on aliens, especially because this all predates the space force. So it's like, I'm not saying they weren't all just doing coke in there, and you're like, you know what's next fucking aliens? And they were like, yeah, let's do that. But that just seems wild to me that that would have been,

what happened but also like so does that mean you think that all of these like all the footage and the eyewitness accounts and stuff like that that they are all like totally fabricated for this sign up or they did exist but there's some other

explanation for them and this is all bullshit like which side of that do you do you follow on? I mean I've like like even in a 60 Minutes piece the Navy pilots were like fully on and be like this could just be an America weapons program we're to know about that probably makes the most sense that they're that's some sort of uh u.s made drone that they just they're just not fully aware of it's being tested but why are they what are they doing that for is it to flex on other countries so they see this and they're like yeah

this is what we got going on like why I know DARPA has a bunch of crazy advanced shit they do that we're not allowed to know about but why would they allow us to know about these ones especially when it's all military people who've seen the evidence for it and everything Like, if it is our own stuff, what's the rationale there? Like, first of all, it's not true. You don't know, Mark. No, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know, but neither does the Pentagon.

They don't fucking know unless it's theirs. That's what sounds scary. The Pentagon don't know. It could be aliens, man. I'm not saying everybody at the Pentagon knows. They don't, they don't fucking tell each other. They don't tell each other jack shit they're up to. The Navy doesn't tell the Air Force, Air Force.

Like, by the way, I think Jeff Bezos's dad started DARPOS. I don't trust any of these motherfuckers. That checks out. Is that a real thing, or did you just say that? I think he's a granddad. Wow. Ain't that America.

It's all evil. It's all, yeah, yeah, evil overlord shit. It's all the same five family. I don't know if I can get too paranoid right now. But it's just like, I don't, I just don't, all this information is coming from the Pentagon. It's all coming to the Pentagon and a bunch of former federal officials. I don't, so I don't trust it. I just don't.

You know what's funny about that is that there are people in the, and I'm not, listen, guys, I'm not a part of the UFO community. But my good buddy, DJ Lewis, who if you follow the Well Red podcast and us separately, then you know DJ, awesome dude. A new goat, daddy, just got a baby goat recently. He's having a wonderful experience with that. Anyway, DJ is very plugged into the UFO community. And I know from DJ that a whole lot of people in the UFO community, like, had that exact same thought process where as soon as the government acknowledged, hey, there's actual UFOs out there.

They were like, there ain't no goddamn UFOs. As soon as the government said it, they were like, well, you know, that's bullshit then. Yeah. If the government says that you know that shit ain't true, after 50 years of like trying to uncover the truth, the government comes out and be like, hey, you guys are on. to something they're like nope no way well the culmination this by the way and like like the one of the things that made me suspicious like CNBC did the exact same story see 60 minutes did like a month earlier and this is all leading the building up to a big UFO report the military is supposed to deliver to Congress in GM so like this is right I'm talking about this stuff being coordinated rollouts

like I like it's like you can you can fucking see the domino's falling but anyway it occurs to me I saw this is what I sound like let me read this headline QAnon on crowd convinced you Fos are a diversion from voter fraud. Okay. So I'm aware that I'm a fucking lunatic who's throwing in with some idiots. But yeah, so, but it's all very predictable. If you're a UFO person who's a conspiracy theorist, the main appeal is you think you know something that no one else knows.

The minute everyone else knows it, you've got to find something else. Exactly. Yes, exactly. Right. Yes. But so, but I'm trying to, going back to what I asked you, earlier, like, do you believe that these observed phenomena were actually observed, right? And if you do, like, that they have observed these things, and that don't mean that they're aliens, and I'm with, I'm with you on that, or do you think all that is just made up? Because if they do exist, that's still fucking wild, whether it's aliens or not, and some weird shit is going on there. Or do you think it's all just bullshit?

shit. I've never been flying a spy plane at 48,000 feet, and I'm sure they see some weird shit, right? Aurora Borealis. Even stuff we can explain, no. So, like, the grainy footage doesn't convince me of anything because that doesn't look like anything to me. I see it a little dot moving around. They're used to looking at that footage. I think I mean, this is amazing. I've never seen anything like this. Like, okay, but it looked to me, it looks like anything else that I could have made on, like, Adobe Maconam, you dummy it up in five minutes on Adobe Premiere or whatever. But I do believe It's going to kill me every time.

Matt just put the meme up there to the podcast listeners. But here's the thing, like, people that go places that people don't go have been reporting seeing shit that couldn't explain since the dawn of humanity. Like sailors used to report seeing sea monsters and mermaids. Now we know now what they saw was whales and manatees, right? That's true. So I don't know, man. Maybe they saw something that we'll understand it a little bit.

maybe they just will never, maybe they'll like the Bermuda triangle will never figure it out. But it's like, well, listen, Matt, you can start throwing questions and comments up there about aliens if y'all want to or anything else we've talked about

or just any other question you have. But yeah, I just, I'm not even saying that I want it to be true or nothing because I mean, shit, who knows how that's going to go again, but it's also like there is this element of like,

yeah, that's about right. You know, like after the past year and the plague and everything, it's like, guess what aliens are here now and are like yeah that checks out why wouldn't they be here now i mean that's to me the worst the most obvious worst case scenario here and we're worried about

invasions or militaristic whatever is like we just went through it out of control disease pandemic now you're going to expose your immune system to a handshake with an alien uh another another thing is funny about that to me but like kim shay 22 from youtube says i need matt to post that meme somewhere i can copy it man i'll tweet it out i'll tweet out on the show mark you tweet it and i'll retweet it or whatever but yeah we could do that that's fine. But another thing that's funny about what you just said is like, I know that people are talking about it now because Obama mentioned it

and Harry Reid's been talking about it and Trump talked about it and 60 minutes and all that. And people are talking about it now. But like it was first acknowledged by the Pentagon like last year that, oh, this is like a real thing. Acknowledged publicly. And it's so funny to me like that's how shitty 2020 was that the federal government came out and was like, hey, y'all. So it might be aliens.

people collectively are just like, well, tell the aliens, we'll call them back. God damn. Don't they know we got shit going on right now? Ain't nobody got time to deal with no fucking aliens. Well, that's one thing that made me suspicious. They did this already in 2017 and 2018. They announced, they unclassified all those videos, the 60 Minutes show. They've been out for a while.

They tried to buy aliens. Because that's what you do first. You try to hold people catch it on their own because they know the local trust to the government tells. UFL community is not going to trust it. So you try like, just let it be. Let it, let it be out there and hope it catches on to where a bunch of people believe in it. More people believe in aliens now. Then in 2018, they full on announced that were tracking this asteroid that had spontaneously changed directions. That was 2018. And then some physicists a couple days later,

we're like, this is overblown. This is not what the Pentagon's telling you it is. And then now we're here. Now we're doing, now a bunch of spokesmen are doing 16 minutes pieces. Well, that last thing you said, then I'm going to read Sally's comment in here. That last thing you said was apparently any, like, actual credited or credible astronomer and, like, actual space people don't give a lot of credence

to any of this shit, apparently, for the records. That obviously, I mean, yes, that tells you something, too. Sally, Doctor, from Facebook says, when aliens pass by Earth, they lock their doors. I do, you mentioned earlier, it's like, oh, what if it's a zoo or something? But, yeah, that, you know, the idea

that, like, these are just, like, rich kid, aliens just, you know, like doing like a pleasure. You're like, you got to see the fucking hairless meatbags they got down there. And maybe it's kicked up in recent years because Trump got elected. It's like, dude, have you been watching that show? Have you been watching Earth? Because fucking season, you know, whenever they're watching it is popping off. It's crazy.

You won't believe the new villain they got going on, you know. And that's why they all got to come down here and check it out, you know, say it for themselves. Somewhere. Somewhere out there in the universe, Moon Tucker Carlson is making fun of the space CDC for telling rich kid aliens to stop kissing their pet humans when they bring them back. Yeah, try to tell us we can't butt probe humans. No, we're not hearing it's space CDC. Yeah. All right. Linda Alwell Medina, who's tired of this alien shit, says DeSantis is going after social media companies for banning political candidates. Yeah. Yeah, that law is completely stupid. It's not going to hold it to any sort of court challenge.

It won't even, I'm not even clear how it does anything. So the law basically says that people can sue social media companies if they're banned over political speech, especially if they're candidates for office. So they're trying to make it so if you live in Florida, which Trump does, you can sue Twitter for having met a political figure who was kicked off, kicked off. But the really funny thing about it was I guess Disney came at DeSantis and you want to show who they actually work for. It was like really funny in California when Governor Newsom, the issue the first run of lockdowns, he let Disneyland stay open. uh yeah yeah so they're just like we're cutting next to california Disneyland makes their they're nobody who fuck with Disney man they're independent municipality like uh like luxembourg or whatever like a principality they do what they want so so they're writing this law

and Disney's like man we have content moderation policies we have a bunch of fucking uh you know comment sections or whatever this shit sucks we want to be able to ban Nazis so they put our carve out that social media platforms what can be sued for yada yada yada unless they own a amusement park of at least 25 acres. So I look forward to Twitter and Facebook opening amusement parks are exactly 26 acres in Florida.

Facebook land. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, dude. People don't fuck with the mouse, man. People up and, you know, like it's wild how like how much of a in that way sort of evil empire Disney is,

you know what I mean, while being the like the, the, like, the of childlike joy or whatever for generations, you know, and yet they just run shit at the highest levels. They, like, basically are copyright law, you know, for the past since copyright law has existed. Like, people do what the fucking mouse tells them to do, generally speaking. Especially the one of my TV shows.

I will totally take the money. Yeah, right. I have worked for them. I love it. But it's like, it is funny. it gives away the game in a couple different ways. One, it shows that Desantis is a whore. Two, it shows that you know this law is stupid

if he's agreeing with Disney that it's stupid and let them opt out of it. Three, it's just for show. And he trusts his own supporters to not read the news enough to understand what it is he's doing. It's like, the headline will be that DeSantis tries to get Trump reinstated on Twitter

where the actual, what's actually happening is not that. And it's, yeah. So how does it work? You get, if you get banned by the social media, So if you get banned by Twitter or Facebook or whatever, if they ban you, you can sue them is how the bill would work. Yeah, it's not going to happen.

But yeah, that's in theory with a bed with a bed. Like, they'd be like if you, Trey, if you want me to leave your house, I'm going to sue you for something. It's your house, right? Patricia Auburn says Texas banned abortions after six weeks and made it legal to carry a gun without a license, registration, or background check. The alien stuff is hilarious. but Texas is scary. This is definitely, I mean, and of course, anybody could have seen this coming,

but there is this huge, like, backlash, you know, to them losing in the recent elections to Trump losing, because you see this, like, state-level legislation across Red America popping up like fucking crazy. My home state of Tennessee, they've been fucking on one lately, too.

I mean, they all are. In Georgia and the voter restriction laws, everything, they've all, like, they've all got to try to punch back against the national democratic victory or whatever. And yeah, it's, you know, it sucks. Matt, Matt says, comments are saying Disneyland shut down. They did.

Mark didn't say they didn't shut down. He said when they first, when it all first happened, they were allowed to remain open briefly and they were, but then they shut down. And believe me, my wife is one of those Disney adults. And so I know Disney was shut down for a long time. That's true. Yeah, I wasn't saying they didn't ever shut down.

I was saying like there was like a 48-hour window where California was on lockdown, but Disneyland was completely open. But not Disneyland. Right. Because Gabon & Newsom works for Disneyland. He knows it. Yeah, the Texas thing. Go ahead. Yeah.

All right. So to be clear here, the things we talk about are not necessarily things we think are most important. Sometimes you're just going to have fun time by aliens. And we're not some tremendously influence of news show here. It's just like, here's a public policy thing happening. We think it's funny. about politics. Yeah, the abortion stuff in Texas is like, this fight was always going to be happening because they were just waiting until they had a solid majority in the Supreme Court

for overturning it, and Kavanaugh and Amy Conan Barrett are open to it, so they're going to push it up the Supreme Court and see what they can get away with, right? The gun stuff, as somebody who lived in Texas for a long time, I'm not clear with a law, legal change even actually is because everyone there carried a gun anyway. So I'm not sure, like, I've been in bars where you could see people had a gun in their side in their boot and it's just like it's just yeah it's not it's not how i would design a society but i i don't think you're going to see some some use some gun carrying because it i'm not even quite sure what exactly changed in that um so yeah like you said you know we're just because we talk about aliens doesn't mean we think aliens is the

most important thing or whatnot uh also brief PSA we talked about it last week actually and i made a video about it yesterday, but I made a video of making fun of all the scandals that conservatives have accused Joe Biden of and all things we've talked about on the show. And some people were like, and you brought this up last week, they're like, yeah, but what about all the shitty stuff Joe Biden has done? And that's different. That's stuff we can be mad at him for. The thing is, the reason we're mad at him for that is because they're into it, right?

So, like, they're not going to be mad at him for any of those things. why we're mad at him so they don't have anything to be mad at him for so they make up his old dog and the dandelion and all that type of shit and that's all i was saying so yeah it's not i know i know about one thing doesn't mean you don't care about the other thing or whatever you know i was i was thinking about that because i i i've been trying to figure out why because obviously i give you some pushback whenever you have that take and i actually have words like next time it comes up i can put it into words now because i could i didn't have the actual i was like why is it it's like yeah because they're they're dumb asses because their

priorities are out of whack and we already disagree with them politically because they think bad things are good and good things are bad so like today when like Joe when uh Joe Biden uh like one of things came out is like one of his former closest advisors now works for the nursing home industry and he's he's been lobbying Joe Biden personally to keep in place that loophole that keeps nursing home execs from being sued for all the COVID fuckups and like that sucks it fucking sucks. He's keeping a Trump policy to allow people to make money killing old people. That fucking sucks. Now

Fox News isn't going to get mad about it. They love that. So, you know. Right. Linda Rain says, grand jury convened in Trump case. Astros, happy dance. Linda's doing a happy dance. I just,

my take on that the whole time has been I'll believe it when I say it's like I, you know, I hope so. Yeah. But I can't allow myself to be optimistic about. about that. Speaking of coordinated PR campaigns, I'm not quite sure with the Manhattan DA. First of all, the Manhattan DA.

Well, the AG is pretty cool. Titia writes fine, but Sy Vance is a crooked son of a bitch. You could have put Trump in jail a bunch of times in the 90s in 2000s. But it didn't because Trump gave him campaign donations. So that's that. But like, so last week they announced that they had turned a civil investigation to a criminal thing. Every lawyer would be like, that's not a thing.

I understand what they're saying because you don't announce that. It's not some formality. You're just investigations, investigation. and, like, you don't formally open an investigation. That's stupid. You just start investigating. And two, like, this grand jury has apparently been meeting already for in secret for, like, a month or two.

So I'm not sure why they announced it this week, probably because somebody's about to run for a higher office, I'm guessing. But, yeah, I'll believe when someone's indicted, I'll be like, okay, this is what's actually happening. For sure. All right. Well, listen, thanks for joining us. Sorry about the video and this app.

We figured out next week. We hope so. But, hey, we had fun anyway, and we'll see you in seven days. Aliens Aliens