Weekly Skews - Weekly Skews 6/15/21 - Eat the Rich?

Episode Date: June 16, 2021

Tonight, guest host Corey Ryan Forrester returns (Smart Mark will be back next week) for a fun, dumbass-heavy episode, before we are joined by Seattle billionaire/income inequality activist Nick Hanauer for a discussion on the uber wealthy and sharpening pitchforks. Join us!Support the show

Howdy, everybody, happy skews day to you. Today is June 15th, 2021. I'm Trey Crowder, and that you may have ascertained is not smart Mark. He's on vacation in Hawaii, perhaps giving a sea turtle the business. Who knows? Either way, he'll be back next week. That is our guest host tonight. You know him, you love him.

It's senior Georgia correspondent and chief good buddy, Corey Ryan Forrest. Hey, Corey, what's up? Heidi, Trey. I sort of look like if Mark got stung by a bunch of jellyfish on the head while he was at the – that's a reappropriation of your classic, but I figured, you know, why not? Still from the best. How are you, buddy? I'm doing good.

Thanks for coming back. Have you seen those pictures of Mark, by the way? Yeah, for y'all that don't – I feel like y'all do know just because you see him and even from the shoulders up, you could tell. But Mark is jacked, and he's on the – and he takes his shirt off. And it's so funny because he looks so sad still. Like, it's this shirtless Adonis.

Mark has just ripped on the beach with his wife just dead inside. Just no emotion on his face. He's a beautiful Hawaiian ocean scape behind him. He's got abs and shit. And he's just looking at the camera like, do you know why? It's because he's 48 years old and hasn't had a carb in three years. Yeah, well, hey, listen, Mark was on vacation either way, but this works out well with you coming back, Corey, because we've got a little announcement to make for everybody.

Me and Corey and our buddy Drew Morgan are going back on tour. Finally, finally, we're doing live comedy shows again, y'all. And we're starting off in Atlanta on July 10th, but we've got, we're adding dates every day. We're a bunch of cities. We're trying to get out there as much as we can. You go to well-read comedy.com, producer mats, put it up there, and check out the tour dates and get your tickets and whatnot. And if your city's on there and there are no tickets, they will be soon. It's a logistical nightmare trying to put all this together after 18 months off.

But we're working through it all, and we hope y'all come and see us. Yeah, and if you're in a city that we've played before and it's not up there, don't worry, we're working on it. We're getting around to it. It's been, you know, logistics are a whole thing. And today, we, heck, we booked three or four shows that just aren't on that list because you've got to get confirmation and stuff. But, I mean, I'm so excited. Can't wait to go out and see everybody.

And, well, you know, I'm just, I'm excited to do the only thing I'm good at again, finally. No, you're good at this too, baby, and we're about to prove it. But, yeah, I'm with you. Come check us out live on the road. We would appreciate it. But let's do the show with us as always, as producer Matt, holding it all together. This is Weekly Skews tonight. because our guest host is so skilled at talking shit about them,

we have a very dumbass heavy episode for you. If we have time, we will also talk shit about Joe Manchin being Mitch McConnell's bitch. And either way, at the halfway point, we will welcome our guests this evening. Seattle billionaire and income inequality activists. Yeah, you heard that right. Nick Hanauer, who'll join us for a conversation. That's a liberal redneck type of thing. It is.

It's an oxymoron. That's right. Yeah, but he backs it up. He'll join us for a conversation on the Uber wealthy in this country and the prospect of perhaps eating them all. All that and more on tonight's skews. But first, as always, the Daily Dumbass, Matt, graphic, please. Tonight's D.D., one of my favorite clips yet.

It's from last week, and it's Texas Republican Congressman Louis Gomert, who had some interesting thoughts on how we might best battle climate change. Matt? I understand from what's been testified to, the Forest Service and the BLM, you want very much to work on the issue of climate change. I was informed by the immediate past director of NASA that they have found that the moon's orbit is changing slightly, and so is the Earth's orbit around the sun. And we know there's been a significant solar flare activity. And so is there anything that the National Forest Service or BLM can do to change the course of the moon's orbit or the Earth's orbit around the sun? Obviously, that would have profound effects on our climate.

I would have to follow up with you on that one, Mr. Gohmert. Yeah. Well, if you figure out a way that you in the Forest Service can make that change, I'd like to know. Also, just to put on your... I just, I love this clip so much. I made an internet video about it last week, but I just love the sort of professional, senatorial way in which he asked this absurdly stupid question. He's just like, listen, is there a way we could perhaps hook the moon up to a truck? like a very large, like a space truck. I'm sure Joe Manchin's got a big winch.

He's from West Virginia. Toe it out a little ways. Just kind of see what happens. Can we maybe do that? If you looked into that. I got a couple. I got a couple things. Let's do it, please.

So first and foremost, one thing that really pisses me off, for a lot of you that don't know, recently, very recently in my career, I have sort of entered the satirical video business. And I try to do my best. to provide at least two or three tails in the video so that people can be like, yeah, this is clearly satire. Because I still trick people, but I'm not trying to.

I want people to know it's a comedy bit. And some people will share these videos and be like, it's so close to the truth. I had to watch it three times to make sure. And I'm always like, really? Come on, guys. Like, I know that they're dumb. I know they do stupid things. But like, come on.

You had to know this is comedy. Dude, if that word for word just came out of your mouth on a video, I'll be like, well done like good job good job really funny shit i just yeah it's that the pose law thing it's pose law full effect it becomes so much harder to tell what is or is not satire and satire itself just becomes so much more difficult when the object of the satire is you know satirizing itself almost or parroting itself it's almost impossible to tell what is or is not a joke because you can't make a joke that's more ridiculous than the shit they actually say. I do like that he's trying.

I know. I agree with that, actually. I kind of don't want to shit on him too much. Right. No, I'm with you on that, actually. This man's literally willing to lasso the moon. Yeah. You know, like, come on.

Like, it just reminds me so much of, I mean, one time my granny, who, as you know, was very old, pretty much all, her whole life. She was real old, born in 1920. Um, didn't go to school. And, uh, I loved her, but not the smartest woman on earth. And when I first started going bald, uh, my granny, my granny one time, she goes, uh, she goes, hey, have you ever thought about rubbing salt on your head? And I go, uh, I go, uh, I go, huh? And she goes, yeah, rub salt on your head.

And I'm sitting there like, hey, she's, um, old wives tells her thing. I go, oh, what, what's that supposed to do? Like, and she goes, huh? Oh. Yeah, I don't know. I just can't. hurt you can't hurt like but we got a dude who's an elected official pretty much as being like are you ever talking about just pulling the moon like it's just it's just beyond man it's unbelievable i actually think

that's really uh indicative what you just said because like they they have always because you know your granny listen god rest her soul somehow behind her time uh but but i'd say she didn't what she was not doing was watching like YouTube clips right do your own research and stuff right she was just coming up with shit yeah saying what sticks you know but it's like yeah man they have that same impulse i feel like today and we don't have to but but they can they can go on youtube and find something that supports it do you know what i'm saying so now it's like no look do your research look at the facts or whatever as opposed to back then you asked her how's that supposed to work and she just had to say oh i don't know either hell i don't know i don't know i don't

know, I just thought maybe it would. I was just coming up with something. Yeah, I missed up. My granny also wasn't a, uh, dip shit hateful bitch. So like that helped too, you know. But again, like the simple fact that he's looking for answers and admitting that it's a problem that needs being solved is a step in the right direction. I've got to say. No, you're right. You're right. Uh, all right. Moving on, our first honorable mention for Daily dumbass is kind of in the same vein. It's anti-vaxxers for not just appreciating their new superpowers. What am I talking about? Well, we've got a clip from an Ohio city council meeting where a anti-vax expert witness stated her case for the court. Matt, play it, please.

And some of the information that I think had been discussed in your podcast related to EMF, frequencies? That was a thought. And would you, can you elaborate on that? Because right now we're all kind of hypothesizing. I mean, what is it that's actually being transmitted that's causing all of these things? Is it a combination of the protein which now

we're finding has a metal attached to it? I'm sure you've seen the pictures all over the internet of people who've had these shots and now they're magnetized and put a key on their forehead. It sticks. They can put spoons and forks all over them and they can stick. Because now we think that there's a metal piece to that. There's been people who've long suspected that

There was some sort of an interface. You get to be defined, an interface between what's being injected in these shots and all of the 5G towers. Not proven yet, but we're trying to figure out what is it that's being transmitted to these unvaccinated people. They're magnetized, Joe. They're like, they now are tuned into the 5G network. They are one with the internet. You know what I mean? Like, just why wouldn't you want to get vaccinated if it could do all that to turn you into?

magneto shit why not yeah i know i was about to say like me mentioning a lot of features not bugs in my opinion like i don't like it's just so goddamn bizarre to me that this fucking substitute teacher lady is like like sitting there just like yeah by the way the government is trying to turn citizens into the fucking winter soldier anonymously and with just complete chaos we're not going to give them any orders we're just going to like it's just dude

like we can't even like there's if I go a mile two miles from my house I don't have cell service no more and I live in what's considered a civilized area my point is like we can't even figure out actual cell phones yeah what the fuck do these people think

that they're really going to put something in our brain that they can just click on and again if that is what's going to happen at least it'll happen to all of us. You know what I mean? In which case, like, who gives a shit? I don't know, man. Like, I just don't understand how these people just really did. By the way,

twice in there, she goes, it's not been proven. We're just, you have to stop there. You have to shut the fuck up and sit back down. If they want everyone to get on the network through which they can control us, you would think the first thing they would do is make this network

unbelievably efficient. Like you were saying, it's like everyone knows the 5G network, unreal. It works so good. That way it gets everybody onto it. That way they can control us. But like you said, you go out into a holler somewhere and shit don't even work anymore, but we're supposed to believe that they just sort of put aside the making it all kind of hit part of the research and moved on to the controlling everybody's brains through the frequencies that are injected in the chemicals that come with the COVID vaccine

or whatever the fuck they are saying happens. Also, here's the deal. I don't know if these, like, just step back for a second. Think about what you're saying and then examine the world around you and understand that this shit has already happened.

All right? You look at this and you go, the government wants to control us and they want us to all be, you know, unified and under their control. They've already done that. It's called the 40-hour work week with a goddamn minimum wage

that hasn't gone up in years and Adderall prescriptions that are being written out of the back of a goddamn van. You already are, they control you. You know what I'm saying? Until people start making a minimum wage, until the market doesn't completely collapse in on it itself, until scammers, like, you know, a new Bitcoin or something is coming and taking all these teenagers money. And I'm not, I'm sure that's a fine thing.

I'm just saying, like, we are under capitalistic control. All of us. I'm doing well in it, by the way. And I'm, but I'm still a part of their fucking system. That is the government's control. Sorry, if I'm having my own Alex Jones moment, but they don't need to do any fucking thing else. No, they've got us, dude. Every single person that they want to be their little worker bee just fucking marches to that beat because they have to.

It's called the five o'clock goddamn whistle. That's right. But, Cho, she's not alone, okay? There are rock gods who believe the same thing this woman believes. That's right. I'm talking about Eric Clapton, baby. We were just talking about Eric Clapton last week on the well. Red podcast talking shit about him.

We'll come back to that in a little bit, but he's on an anti-vax kick lately, and we've got a couple clips to that effect. Matt, I don't know which one's first. Just play it, and we'll talk about it. Was a little drawing of a guy interviewing to Quakers and saying, how come none of your community has got COVID? And they said, well, we don't watch TV. It's so true, man.

So much of the sickness is. is in our heads now. And I, I, I, also Amish? Dude. So like, did we predict this shit? They probably get, for Amish people or Quakers or whatever the hell he's talking about, get COVID and don't, they just think they've coughed themselves to death in the mud because that's what happens when you're Amish.

Do you know what I mean? Like they don't know the difference between COVID and fucking, they probably still got tuberculosis. I don't know. I'm the one. being ignorant now. I'm just saying you can't ask an Amish or quake, whatever hell he's talking about. It's Amish equivalent. It's Amish adjacent.

You can't ask them, what's going on with COVID in your community and then equate it to the fact that they don't watch TV and thus they're just fine, you know? Of course. I was about saying, in all these instances, think about what you're saying, step back for a second, apply it to the world around you and realize that

it's already happening. Amish people and Quakers don't get COVID because they've been quarantining since the dawn of time. They are, they are fucking quarantining in place. Like, they only go around each other. Like, that's probably the first human being that they've talked to. Some insane lady who just ran up to Amishville. And I know that they have to send their representative to sell butter. I understand that they got to make a living. I'm just saying, like, the Amish don't just, like, go, you know, rub elbows with the common folk who have the goddamn COVID. Like, that's very, but you're right.

Like, you can't. That's not how they are. No, is my thing. You know what I mean? Like they would, whatever. Nope, we all just got black lung. Right. Pneumonia, whatever they think it is. How would they even know?

It's COVID. Now, Matt, we're going to move on. I want everybody to know, though, that Clapton later in that same interview says the thing that worries him the most about vaccines is how is it's going to affect his children and listen. Yeah. Just, I don't know. If you know anything about it. Open a window.

Yeah. Yeah, there you go. Also, listen, of course Eric Clapton rocks. Of course he rocks. But if y'all are unaware, we, like I said, just talked about it on the Well Red podcast. He's got a longstanding resume as being a bit of a lunatic dip shit. He's gone on racist tirades on stage before that you can look up yourself where he just says some pretty out there shit. It's not veiled either, really.

Not at all. He's just like, the Jamaicans need to get the fuck out of Britain because it's a white man's country. Like, literally, literally that, that type of thing. That's the type of shit that Eric Clapton believed in the 70s. And now we're putting him on hearing out his thoughts on COVID and the vaccine. And I'm just not trying to hear it. But moving on, our next honorable mention for Daily Dumbass, anybody who thinks

God was just you know kind of bullshit and with all that other plague stuff put up the screen grab this is Corey's favorite Marjorie Taylor Green who said that COVID must be a bioweapon

it must be it had to come from a Chinese laboratory because God would never create a fatal illness that harms people what God she's been fucking with Cho Like, because in my experience, that's like, that's God's thing, baby.

Like, nothing is more God's willhouse than a plague, you know? Like, dude, God's been doing plagues since way back in the day. Yeah, like that's his wet bandit's calling card for sure. But, like, no, when we, I think our first digital show, like a very, very early on, like a joke that I was working on. I can't remember the back part too, but it was basically like, I'm seeing a lot of people. you know, like, oh, God will get us through us. God will get us through this. God will get us through this.

And they were like praying to God. And I just like imagined God up there just like, y'all, y'all know I did the pandemic, right? Like this is me. This is like, yeah, dude, there wasn't, dude, back in the biblical days, in God's opinion, there wasn't a situation couldn't be handled by a good old fashioned plague. Plague.

He loved it. He had the plague, but he got a real hair plague trigger like he had the plague button on speed dial back in the day it's like people you fucking around you you know uh talking shit you're not yeah plague not addressing the fucking crops properly or whatever plague he would many plague people in a way i don't appreciate plague yeah dude just everything was plague from god back in the day but now this plague must be chinese because god would never do that. That's what God do. That's what he

do. And sometimes when it is, that's that is what he do. And so like, dude, there was even one time where he was like, I don't want to be derivative, so he just drowned everybody. You know, like, I don't know. Yeah, dude, again, it's like, it's one of those, like that's a very, I don't even like to say his name really, but like

Trumpian, two Corinthians thing, like just how full of shit these people are. Because that's just, that's clearly just her say anything. Oh, God would never, but Again, as you said, like, dude, even people that barely fuck with the Bible are like, I'm pretty sure that's the plague guy. You know what I mean? Isn't that the reason you're supposed to like fear him?

All the godly shit is because if we don't, he'll plague us all to death. Yeah, yeah. Like, if we don't do what God says we're supposed to do, he'll murder us all with a plague. Like, that's straight from the Bible, right? Yeah, dude. That's like, sometimes he like, it's like eight things in a row. It's like, all right, day one. crickets, you know what I mean?

There's just rains crickets. And then it's like, all right, we're going to kill just your firstborn. You know what I mean? All your most important babies. All your, yeah, the air. Yeah, unless you slaughter a lamb and rub their neck blood on the top of a door, this guy, I got to tell you, unhinged. Did that by their own doctrine and then turn around and being like, God would never.

Never. It must be the china. Now Shinto, whoever their God is, sure, maybe. All right, our next honorable mention, it's one of Chow's favorites. It's Ted Cruz for hoping that his flag would talk back. I don't know. Let's see how he spent the morning of Flag Day, everybody. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands.

one nation under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all. Okay, I know you've got some thoughts on this, Cho. Some of our fans may have seen you go off on it already, but he tweeted this with the caption, This didn't used to be controversial. And then he did that. So Cho, won't you tell us what you think about all this? Well, I can't really rile myself up to the extent that I was yesterday

when I took my shirt off and screamed into a camera. about exactly how much this type of shit pisses me off. But a couple immediate thoughts for this that I really always like to put out there because something that always happens to me and you and anyone, anytime you just dare speak the words, hey, I don't think, hypothetically, just throwing it out there,

I don't think that you should shoot an unarmed black person. When you say something that, like, just crazy and controversial, there will be people that jump on and go, look at this social justice warrior that's virtue signaling. They go, oh, that's all the left is do. This is fucking virtue signaling. That's what that is. You're signaling your virtue.

By the way, I don't find there to be anything wrong, realistically, with the Pledge of Allegiance or whatever, like, from a just, if I saw a child doing it, whatever. It's the, hey, we must do this. You must be forced to do this. That's not what the goddamn, that's not what soldiers died for. And I'm obviously, I can't speak. The whole, this didn't used to be controversial thing. I know you touched on this, too.

It's like, dude, my sons go to fucking Walt Disney Elementary in fucking Los Angeles, California, all right? It's a very California-e school. At the Christmas, the Christmas events, they sang like fucking Christmas songs for every culture. They got Kwanza covered. I think they do fucking Saturday all, yeah, right? That's how open-minded and progressive they are as a school. They do the goddamn pledging allegiance. Right, of course.

Like, it's not at all controversial. We are still doing it, all right? Now, the thing is, his ass ain't doing it. You will never in a million years convince me that he's waking up every day and starting it with that bullshit. There's no way he is. But it's not controversial. It still happens. Even in gay-ass California, it happens.

It's just like that Roy Wood Jr. bit when he's like, oh, yeah, white people, y'all love the national anthem, right? Yeah, you got it on a playlist. You're playing it when you're mowing. They're like, no, you don't. Like, nobody fucking gives a shit about that song. And again, like, it's not, the national anthem was never controversial. It became controversial when people used that moment when they knew millions of people were watching to take a knee. And then everybody goes, they must hate the song.

No, they hate getting shot. You know what I'm saying? That, by the way, is what's controversial. Nobody gives a fuck. Nobody on earth. But they can do that. They can sit there and go, you know what? I'm going to post this goddamn video that everybody gets mad about pledgingly to the flag.

And then all my supporters, which God damn it, he has them, it's amazing, can go, yeah, we like the flag. And then they will just excuse him for another couple months of not doing anything to help fucking Texas that desperately needs it. Because that's all they give a shit about. It's virtue signaling. They just give a shit if you do and say the right thing and are wearing the exact right colors. It's no different than just, America's a fucking sports team to them, but our manager's been, our manager drove off a bridge. You know what I mean? It's just bullshit.

Producer Matt points out that under God was added to the Pledge of Allegiance in 1954. Okay. So, yeah, they're obviously full of shit. I want to get through some of these next ones a little quicker because we're having so much fun with these dumb asses here. No, I think it's great. It's awesome. But I want to make sure we get some of them out there. The next honorable mention for Daily Dumbass, whoever paid $18,000 for literally nothing.

Matt, put the screen grab up there. I'm done, yeah. You're going to love this. An Italian artist auctioned off a, quote, invisible sculpture for $18,300. It is made of literally nothing. It is a work that asks you to activate the power of your imagination, Salvatore Gatorreau said of his sculpture. This is not the first time this guy's done this show. He has a history of making invisible sculptures.

It's kind of his forte. He put Aphrodite cries outside of the stock exchange. I believe it was, which is just a circle of white tape with nothing in it, but you're supposed to imagine the sculpture inside of that. He also had another sculpture. Like the Harry Potter mirror? What the fuck is that shit? See, all right. Well, here's what he says.

He says that the artwork finds form in its own nothingness. The vacuum, Corey, is nothing more than a space full of energy. And even if we empty it and there is nothing left, according to the Heisenberg, uncertainty principle, that nothing has. a weight therefore it has energy that is condensed and transformed into particles that is into us so the art is what you make it this is one of the things we're like we're artists right hell we're artists i love art but this is one of those things where it's like i get anyone who fucking makes the jerk off motion whenever fucking high art comes up because what the fuck is this like we should put out of album that just the first track is just us being like hey first

the next 45 minutes, imagine this is the most insightful, incisive, searing social commentary comedy you've ever heard in your entire life. And somebody paid us $20,000 for that. You know what I think. If I find out that this is just his commentary, like, and this is what an NFT is, you know, like I can buy into that. Because like that, to me, that sounds exactly like that explanation. Here's $18,000 for to have this, like, imaginary fucking thing. And also, Also, I'm wondering, I want you to get, what do you think the person's, because this is a political show, excuse, what do you think the politics are of the person that, that bought that? Because I could go either way on it. I could too, but I, I don't know. My inclination is super left wing. Yeah, me too. Just because of how artistic it is. So when you buy it, you pay $18,000, you get a certificate of authenticity and a set of rules for how you must display the sculpture. It has to be displayed.

I swear God, has to be displayed in a five-by-five empty space in your home for people to best appreciate it. Again, we're talking about literally nothing. It's a fart. Nothing. Yeah, yeah, man, I was about to say, like, spending money on something stupid is, like, sort of a conservative move, but like this, I think this is on us. Yeah, right. No, I agree. I don't know, man.

I just suspended in piss was Jesus suspended in piss. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, absolutely. So the other one was called, I mentioned the Aphrodite cries. He also had one called Buddha in Contemplation, which was another invisible sculpture demarcated by a square of tape on a cobblestone walkway. Hold on. Run that back for me again. That's a lot.

It's entitled Buddha in Contemplation. Got that. It's an invisible sculpture. sculpture demarcated by a square of white tape on a cobblestone walkway. Okay. So you look at the square of tape. You imagine this sculpture you've ever seen in your life inside of that. It's like the fucking tenacious D song, Tribute.

Except they made a fucking hard rock and rad ass song. That was a tribute to, you know, the greatest song ever written. So my thing is like with art, it's like, you know, art. obviously a subjective, but there are people who get to decide, like, but this, because, like, so much, it's cliche to be like, it looks like something my four-year-old did, but some people get to decide that's worth $35,000. Why does this guy get to sell invisible stuff? I've, dude, honestly, I'm glad you brought that up because I actually, like, I got to respect the hustle. Me too. Oh, I'm not mad at him at all. I'm so, I'm not mad at him at all either. I'm so jealous of artists like this, because if you can get into that lane. Like you were just saying, if you can get to be somebody who can just say that and people will buy it, literally buy it for tens of thousands of dollars, that's fucking incredible, dude. That's like, and I don't know.

I don't know how, I mean, I assume, I don't know this dude's history, but I assume you have to hit real hard for a while. Wow, right, doing real stuff. In the physical realm. Right. Before you can just say this type of shit. But either way, it's a fucking, it's a good gig if you can get it, man. Dude's like Joel Osteen, like they're going to get their $18,000, but it will literally take them $18,000 dumbasses, $1 at a time to do it.

But those, but like the reason I have a problem with that is because like those people needed that $1 and they don't have any hope. And that's why they give that guy. If you're taking $18,000 from a son of a bitch for an invisible art, fuck that person. Enjoy your Audi. You know what I mean? Imagine you went to a Hollywood party, Joe, and they displayed this for you. They were like, and right over here, we have. this like literally i know what i do what would you do in that moment if i explained it to you

they were like how many beers have i had you're uh you're halfway lit you know you're like one and a half sheets to the wind uh are we with were we brought there by people that we know really good okay does the is the person's house we're at like do we have a deal that's contingent on them liking me no but we're somebody who we do want to hit for us And they're the ones that brought us there. But not directly related to this. If I was halfway lit, depending on what time it was in the night, I would spread my ass cheeks and fart on the air where the invisible statue was.

And I'd be like, Zat is on your statue now. Zit is the stink buddha. That's what I would do. I'd get all French because I know they like fancy stuff. Well, dude, that's your own interpretation of the art. I would sell that part. That's how it's supposed to work, right? I would flip the fork.

I would flip the fork. interpret it. Yeah, right. I'd flip the fart. I'd sell it back to him for 20 grand. I'll be like, I'm going to take that fart with me. If y'all, you know, you got to, it's on your statue. I'm taking the statue and the fart, 20 grand right now. And this dumb ass would do it. Yeah.

Producer Matt points out that the one that sold for $18,000 didn't even come with its own tape. You got to bring your own tape. Accessories not included. Hilarious. So, all right, we're going to keep going with the dumbasses here. We'll see if Nick shows up, waiting on. him still. That's fine. He's got a lot of shit going on. We've got plenty more to talk about.

He might have bought that. He might have been intended off that. He could certainly afford it. All right. So next up, Honorable Mentioned Daily Dumbass. Jonah from the Bible for being so easy to fucking swallow. Matt put up the screen

grab. If you guys missed it, this is pretty wild. A Cape cod lobster diver was briefly eaten by a whale not fully eaten. He got the whale grabbed him in its mouth, he chilled in its mouth for a minute, and then the whale spit him out, which who can be blamed for spitting out, you know, a fucking white trash New England lobster man.

You know what I mean? Just tastes like fucking old bay and cigarettes and shit. I don't blame the whale. But, yeah, a humpback whale tried to eat this guy and then spat him out. Here's what's super insane about this story that I found out from reading about on the internet. This dude in his youth was in a single-engine plane crash in, I think the Caribbean, somewhere around the equator. He was in a single-engine plane crash in the jungle. He was pinned by the wreckage for two days and nights in the jungle and got rescued on the verge of death and survived a plane crash in the goddamn jungle.

Only two years later be eaten and then spat out by a fucking whale. yeah i heard somewhere i was like in a reddit rabbit hole and i think there's like i think i could i could have been high um i was on reddit uh that like one of his buddies is talking about how like he don't buy it because because of that and like as he's always he's all he's a drama he's a drama queen yeah but like this dude like you know we all know people who were like oh you know i've i've got a headache or like oh i had a rare yeah they're constantly with their drama it's always something going on but to him it's like this guy's equivalent of that is like going and telling

people he got swallowed by a whale and spit back up. But like that is pretty fucking crazy. I keep there's dudes like that that just like Harrison Ford and Jimmy Buffett for instance. Both of them some bitches have like wrecked their plane like seven or eight times a piece

and they just keep bouncing back but like. One of the wildest ones to me is Jim Caviesel. Is that how he says his name? Did he come back three days later? Yeah, pretty much. So we're talking about the guy that played Jesus in The Passion of the Christ from Crazy Mel Gibson. He's crazy, too.

The actor that he's crazy now, he might have been crazy then, too. But no bullshit. The actor that played Jesus in that movie got struck by lightning multiple times while filming that movie. So like, honestly, dude, if he's wild and super Jesusy now, I almost don't blame him. If you're playing fucking Jesus and God smite you multiple times in the process of doing it, you're going to make some inferences, you know. Yeah, I know.

But, yeah, that literally happened. I bet neither him nor Mel Gibson stopped and thought, I wonder if it's about all the Jew stuff. You know what I think that's it? They're like, are we not going in hard enough on the Jews? I think we're not. We're not really pushing the Jew button hard enough. Have you?

That's why he's upset. I know Jesus don't hit for you. I mean, me either. That's fine. But like, I saw the movie because like it was required viewing for like, us in my area. Did you see it? Yeah, I saw it because I was, listen.

For educational purposes. I'm just going to tell, no. You love Mel Gibson? Straight up, I was a massive Mel Gibson fan as a director. Dude, fucking brave artist that you, listen, you say what you want about him. I'm not defending him as a dude. His body of work separate the art from the artist type of thing. That motherfucker is a G.

And at the time, he had done all that Jew stuff. And I was just like, I'll watch anything. Mel Gibson makes. So even though I don't fuck with Jesus, I watch the Passion of the Christ, it was hilariously metal. Metal as fuck.

Could have definitely made us know that there was some impending Jew stuff. Oh, dude. You know what I mean? Like, go back and look at it now, it's like, oh my God. The Jew characters in that movie, they all looks like.

Especially with the benefit of hindsight, it is rough, dog. Boy, yeah, it's something else. But no, I mean, I hear you, dude. I've had to do this with Hulk Hogan so many times. Like, like, dude, no. Like, no, like, no, of course.

Of course now. Fuck them, whatever. But like, you can't take away the 80s. You didn't know that when he was the whole fucking fucking, yeah, all the fucking 10 million Hulkomaniacs didn't know that he was saying the N word. Yeah, the brave heart, braveheart doesn't magically suck now. You know what I mean? Right.

Absolutely. All right. So our neck moving on. I'm sure we're getting eaten alive in the comments and that's all my fault. I'm sorry. No, we're hitting. It's fine. We're moving on into the Daily Dumbasses here. Next up, all of us liberals, for just taking it for granted, we'll always be able to find our way home.

The MyPillow guy is at it again. Oh, goodness. Yes. And he's a friend of mine about a month ago, I was on his radio show, and they put up, he sent it out the podcast part to all his, he emailed it out, 30,000 emails. Google took away his emails and his Google Maps. I want you to think about that. They took away his Google Maps.

He did it. Took away his Google Maps, Cho, for daring to speak the truth. They took away this man's Google Maps. There is a 100% chance. This is just a dipship boomer who couldn't get the maps pulled up or whatever and was like, it must have been

because that podcast I did with the My Pillow guy or whatever the fuck he's talking about. It's, yeah, it's unbelievable. Like, like George Soros or whatever was like, all right, well, let's see you get to Chipotle now, you fat fuck. Like, that's not, it doesn't make any goddamn sense. But like, I've actually been thinking a lot about this My Pillow guy, like recently, but like not for reasons that you think. Like, I'm kind of conflicted on him and not in a, do I like him? Do I like him?

He fucking sucks. But like, I don't know, man. I have a lot of empathy for. because of where we're from. I have a lot of empathy for drug addicts. And this man is clearly, clearly addicted to crack cocaine. And we are watching a psychotic break.

This man's going to have a heart attack soon. And granted, I can't decide if it's like us shitting on him or we egging him on. Or if it's like, well, no, I mean, he hits for these people. And they're the reason they're propping him up. But then I'm like, God damn, how sad is that that a dude. whose whole thing is he sells a pillow and he's clearly on crack cocaine and there's like legions of people

that are like, that's our fucking dude. Like, it's just like, I don't know, man. I'm starting to get like genuinely upset and sad about that guy's whole fucking deal. Well, it's like that that's the whole problem with like disinformation and why it's such a big deal. It's like that whole story for a few weeks ago where the Q Shaman, the fucking shirtless horn guy.

The dude that looks like Drew. Yeah, that when his law, All year literally said, listen, this guy is our word. Our word, yeah, literally called his own client. Lost that one four years to stand, didn't we? And his whole defense was like, listen, you can't, you can't give a guy like this access to shit like that. You know, you can't bombard someone this dumb or unwell or whatever. you can't bombard people like that

with disinformation like this and not expect some shit like this to happen. That's one of the reasons why it's such a problem and it's easy to make fun of them, but it is fucked up. It is. Drug addicts are mentally ill or whatever or even just really stupid.

They can't help that they're really stupid. But fucking those people having such easy everyday access to shit like that, like the whole, the QAnon rabbit hole and whatnot. Of course, this is what it leads to, you know?

And that's part of the reason why it's so fucked up. Yeah, and I have like, I hear that and I go, yeah, I agree. Like, I want to go, like, literally anybody that believes that is, like, has to be clinically insane. But then I got to step back and I'm like, dog, that's millions of people. So, like, there's, so, like, there's millions of people that we deem unfit to even stand trial. And therefore it's like, and therefore it's like, so they get off the hook.

And it's like, all right, well, no, if they can't stand trial them, they gotta fucking get locked up somewhere. Because dog, my uncle, you won't believe this. Rest in peace, you'll believe that part. But like, I assume that part. He was deemed unfit to stay in trial a couple times. But they, but a couple times they were, well, he held himself hostage. Literally like the scene from fucking blazing saddles where he's like,

he's just crazy enough to do it. You know, like, it fucking did that shit. But they locked him up. Like, they put him in, they put him in, they put him in, they put him away. Like, he didn't go to jail, but he went,

he went somewhere. So, like, I don't know, man, like, it's very hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that, like, we joke and we say it in,

like, cliche forms, but like, there's millions of fucking people that really, really need to be in a room with a key locked in there with some padded walls and shit and just,

honestly, on the one hand, I'm totally with you. We're on the same page. But on the other hand, the fact that there are so many of them makes me feel like we are giving them like too much

sympathy or... No, I agree. They know what they're fucking doing. There's no fucking way that that many people have a sort of like genuine mental incapacity justification for all this shit that they have done. They're just shitty.

That's what I said. They're just shitty. And that's what I said. And that's just what it is. Yeah, last time I was on CNN I made the point and I think is important is like for the worst thing that we've done is talking about how like

everybody calling Donald Trump stupid and Marjorie Tether Green stupid and all the people that support them stupid like of course there's some dumb people but like what really it is is a lot of them are just bad you know what I mean?

Like a lot of them are just bad and that fucking shaman dude like clearly he's he don't head but like you know it takes some brain sales to like dude his paint was on right you know what I

mean like that's a sweet hat like he got he had to buy that he had to get the money somewhere like they're just fucking dickheads he don't look no different than those assholes you see on on greek row wearing togas and shit slipping zanax into girls peach bellini's they just fucking suck but so a he can stand trial but be like i don't dude i don't know what the i don't know what the answer is man like i really don't no i don't either that's that's what's part That's part of what's so alarming about it is that it is so many, like, not mentally ill or addicted to drugs, people that feel the shit. It's like, what the fuck do we do? There's that many just assholes.

Like, what do we do with that? And I don't know. But we started this about talking about the My Pillow guy at this big rally. Well, the big man himself made an appearance at this rally show, a Zoom appearance. Hush. And it was pretty right down the fairway for him, I feel like. Matt, play the clip of the big appearance here. I'm part time with the contractors.

I know contractors better than anyone. They're very brilliant. They may not read or write in some cases, but you know what? They're smarter than the rest. It's smarter. So I just want to thank everybody. Dude, right? Right?

Has this motherfucker ever missed an opportunity to shit on working class people in his life has he ever passed up an opportunity to call working class people fucking dip shits and they still that's that's his fucking base dog they love him and the fact that it froze up in the middle of that too it's just I don't know it's just perfect it's a couple things couple things number one I'm sorry for laughing like a hyena but man that shit got me uh like now that he's not the president I'm like all right he's funny again uh but he's not he's not but like that that that just got me it shouldn't have caught me by surprise because yeah that's what he do but like that's that's part of their

their whole outlook on life is like oh he's not talking about me you know what i mean like i i hit if i just follow the trump plan i'll go from this and i'll work my way up and i'll what was it somebody who was it that said that uh socialism never took over in this country because uh the poor in this country don't see themselves as poor but temporarily embarrassed billionaires Like that's his fucking people But like dude also Here's the deal though Again let's go back

To like the Mel Gibson thing Let's put all the Trump's things aside The delivery on These contractors look they can't read They can't write sometimes It was fucking flawless Like it was amazing Like that was fucking

That was really good That was really good shit Absolutely and I think it's just like a human nature thing It's like that Chris Rock bit About rap music And this is like a 15 year old bit At this point or whatever Where he's like

He's talking about women listening to rap music and he's just like you know he's like he ain't talking about me yeah come in her eyes, blind a bitch blind a bitch like he ain't talking about me yeah yeah like that's how it is man but that is how it is and I mean we all do that like you listen to like a fucking rap song

where they talk shit about some beta motherfucker that they're gonna whip their ass or whatever yeah you listen to that and in your head you're like yeah I'll whip that beta motherfucker's eyes I'm DMX right exactly I'm DMX in this scenario. And that's what these people do with Trump and his fucking shit talking of just regular working class people. I mean, I guess, because otherwise I don't understand it, because he literally talks shit about them to their face. And has ever since he came on the

scene and they're just fucking fine with it. Matt, you can start throwing up questions and comments, by the way. Here's the thing, though, too, about that is that Trump also feels that way about people who make $150,000 a year. He feels the exact same way. He doesn't know how much those fucking con- You don't know how I know he doesn't know how much those goddamn contractors make because he's never seen the invoice. He doesn't fucking pay them.

I love that. God, I can't. I'm so do not miss that whole like literally every single thing was followed by. No one knows blank better than me. No one's dealt with blank more than me. Like that shit was so goddamn unnerving. I know that we have problems with Joe Biden.

I got problems with Joe Biden. I've got problems with the Democratic establishment, as it were. But like at fucking least, we've got somebody who talks like a human being is supposed to talk. And it's so nice. And this might be bad for me to look at that Trump quick because I've been like, okay, here's what I'm going to say. Here's what I would say to Joe Biden if I ever saw him. Blah, blah, blah. And then I just saw that.

And I'm just like, Uncle Joe, can we go have some cotton candy? You know what I mean? Yeah. Mary Whalen says Trump can't read very well. probably accurate i don't know yes i assume that's yeah probably true um but yeah he just you know it's just what he do that was so good man they don't read they don't write i'm glad you appreciated that they just it is it is like it does make you appreciate in a bad way look we hate him of course oh my god i hope he dies he's like a race from the public eye for a little while

and then he comes back in and does some very standard Trump shit. Like that was very, very, very garden variety Trump shit. Absolutely. But when you haven't seen Trump shit in a while and then he comes back through with some fucking right down the fairway Trump shit, you just remember like, my God, this motherfucker is something else. It's like going to see Seinfeld. Like you're going to get the same act, but you're like, he's the best at it.

You know what I mean? Like he's fucking real. He's like, it's just like you're really seeing something. These tickets were expensive. We're all dressed nice. Do you think he's going to die before, you know,

like the next election or whatever? I mean, during the middle of it. I mean, bro, I fucking hope so. Yeah, and publicly.

Like, I hope I know that that's going to happen. I mean, I don't know. Like, it's like, it's like, the dude's very out of shape.

He's not young for being the out of shape that he is. He also clearly has some sort of speed problem. and I don't know like there's no way but like he's also got access to like all the best shit and like vitamins and like I don't know man

I can't decide like I feel like at this point he's made it to where he's made it to being relatively okay health-wise yeah he'll fall apart and there's got to be a reason for that because of how much of a fucking

trash bag shit dumpster he lives worse than us I know dude he does which is insane insane because like my God Imagine being 75 and live in that fucking way. It's garbage every day, never exercising how terrible you would feel. Let me read this real quick.

Scotty Lewis says, I think he actually means to be praising anti-intellectualism, as in one doesn't need to read or write to be smart the way that Trump thinks of himself. That's a good take. I think that's a good take, Scott. I think you make a good point. But I think in that clip, he's just shitting on contractors who do not have. for him. Yeah, I think Scotty, what you just did would be the perfect Sean Spicer line to go out. But like, yeah, but that is a good point. Somewhere in his brain, that's, that's probably

rolling around. And that's been, that's really been, dude. And the anti-intellectualism obviously didn't start with Trump. Trump actually, in my opinion, is a symptom of the anti-intellectualism that they're really, realistically, Reagan. Like, if we want to go back to like a prime example of a, you know but bullish really like that's Reagan is pretty much when all of this shit star like for sure for sure present day version of of them yeah them the GOP that we have to fucking deal with and everything that we have to worry about all the time I feel like that all really really kicked off in earnest with for sure Ronald Reagan dotty Kelly says Trump does a lot of projection he knows deep down that he is stupid that's true because

Trump Trump and his age group were like the Richard Spencer age when Reagan was a thing and then they grew up into the Trump people. So like it's kind of that's actually a really good point that you just made. That's something to keep that in your mind for 25

years from now when the young Republicans who voted for Trump, what they're fucking doing. Like what guy they get. Well, dude, I'm just saying. No, no. Trump is absolutely a result of a bunch of people who grew up as young Republicans, frat boys in the 80s.

They grew up, got old, and they helped Trump get in. Imagine what that trickled. That's trickled down right there. Yeah, well, Aaron McCullough, welcome back, Aaron, says trickled down racism. Oh, wow. I didn't say that. Also, did I, I can't remember, did I say earlier when we were talking about the invisible art, did I give it up to our fan, Alan Smith?

He's the one who submitted it. I'm sorry, I was supposed to do that. The invisible art from earlier, Alan Smith, sent that to us, and I appreciate Alan. Appreciate you, Alan. Producer Matt says that we've gotten a lot of comments about the critical race theory panic. I'm going to be completely honest with you. Smart Mark sent this to us as a group earlier when I was getting ready for the show tonight.

We had so many dumbasses. I didn't think it would get to it, and I was going to read up on it later. He's enjoying Hawaii, isn't he? Yes, absolutely. He's spending his time doing this. In towns nationwide, well-connected. conservative activists and Fox News have ramped up the tension in fights over race and equity in schools. So, yeah, obviously, I'm looking over this as I'm talking to y'all.

I don't know, I don't know much about it. Do you know about this show? I mean, probably not. No, I mean, I know in a general sense, like what's been going on with critical race theory being, you know, a lot of people say, hey, we need to teach this in school. And a lot of the schools in the South being like, I don't think so. which is insane because they're the same people that talk about cancel culture and there's no greater example of something being canceled than the history of slavery and systemic racism in this goddamn country. Because I saw somebody point out the other day, I wish I remembered who it was, that like for the most part, cancel culture isn't, it's the opposite. It's actually reminding you of shit you didn't know from the past and it's uncancelling history.

It's actually showing you stuff that was canceled by the system, and now we've figured it out, and we've learned that, hey, maybe some of these people and some of these systems were bullshit. So that's the extent of what I know about it, and I don't know what to say other than like, yeah, man, they barely wanted to talk about fucking slavery, like when it was actually in our textbooks. I know they don't want to do a goddamn deep dive fucking podcast style. Well, and every time something comes up with these people, hypocrisy is always just right there immediately. And what I mean is like... The same people also, when we're talking about Confederate statues and taking them down and stuff, they'll be quick to try to make the point of like, well, that's just, that's like erasing history. Yeah. Or whatever.

You know what I mean? Like, we can't do that because that's erasing history. But then when you want to say, well, we should teach how horrifically racist the history of this country is, they're like, I don't know, maybe we should erase that history. Exactly. Because that's upsetting. And we don't want to talk about that. So we should just act like America's the hero, because this is our own Marvel movie. We've scripted for ourselves.

It's also stupid because, like, that's the clear compromise right there. It's like, okay, guys, you know what? You can keep your statues. But we have to provide context for the statues. And they're like, no, we don't want it. Then fuck your statues. Be a goddamn old. Or we're taking your fucking toys away, you dip shit.

Aaron McCullough, once again, says, my state senator literally calls it the war between the states. I mean, yeah, that's, that was in my bed. It's called the, we have the War Between the States Festival. The War of Northern Aggression is another one. I mean, that's like, it's definitely a thing. War between the States is fine, I think, because like that act, that is what, that is what it is. As long as you then teach the accurate part of the rest of it. Well, I'm just saying like, you know what I mean?

You know, no, no, I'm just saying like war between the states. It was literally true. It was a war between the states. The War of Northern aggression is trying to act like the Big Bad North was just being a bunch of dick bad. And it's like, yeah, they were being a little, they were a little unnerved because of the whole state's rights thing. And as we've said, it wasn't just all states rights. It was your favorite one. It was the slavery one.

The right to own slaves. Yeah, come on. John L. Childress says, example of critical race theory is that slaves were not happy to work for their masters. That is absolutely another thing for sure that they love to do. They'll find, they'll cherry pick these examples of some poor Stockholm syndrome slave from, you know, the 1800s who wrote a letter to their master after the fact. Like, can I please come back or that type of shit as if that disproves the idea that slavery is bad. Actually, what's so funny to me about it is that that's like that's ultimately what you're arguing is that slavery is bad.

And I feel like generally speaking, society at large is kind of landed on a stance for that. it is bad also again think about what you're saying step back for a second look at it and understand what it truly is you go yet those letters by the way were written they were absolutely written but here's the thing about why it wasn't because they were like oh sure did love being a slave it was just that's proof right there that when slavery ended racism didn't the reason that they wanted to go back to the goddamn farm is because they couldn't get hired anywhere and at least there they did have shelter and they did have food. It's why it's why fucking Brooks wanted to go back to jail in Shawshank.

It's the only place that he knew how to behave because he had been systemally in a system. He'd been set up. It's the only system that he fucking knew and the outside wouldn't let him behave in a way that he was comfortable with. You dumb fucks. Yeah, dude. And also just like, that's 100% true, but also even if it was just a real letter written by a real slave who was really treated very well by his master and so thus was like you know i think we really fucked up here getting rid of the slavery thing yeah that wouldn't prove anything of course not

anecdotal it right it's anecdotal you can find any one cherry-picked example of anything that goes against the argument and opposition to it but it doesn't fucking prove shit also i love another one too that they're like like the one is Thomas Jefferson they're like Thomas Jefferson wasn't yeah sure he had slaves but his wife was black like oh he fucked one of his slaves yeah you're right you know what I mean like

of course dude of course sometimes they were nice to him they literally did everything but that doesn't change the fact because my dad like me and my fucking dad had this conversation when he goes I said I said dude he was somebody goes he was like Thomas Jefferson you know he he had

a child with one of his slaves and I go yeah he raped He raped a slave, and dad's like, no, no, and I go, Dad, what do you mean? I said, Dad, if it's his property, then by that, it can't, she can't consent. And he goes, you can literally only rape a slave. First of all, in order to rape slaves, you have to own slaves. That's what I said. That's what I said.

That's like, no, I don't know about that. I go, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, regardless, it was his slave. So you don't think that guy would rape? Right. You know what I'm saying? He draws the line at that. I'm sorry, I've said rape three times. I'm sure Martin Screlly is about to walk through the,

door some shit like a beetle juice i don't but i but like i don't like it doesn't make sense like that that whole but they liked it i don't give a shit like again like we know what stockholm syndrome is now also what was i don't know dude there's just so many things you could say that seem just so obvious that these people like what were fucking lynch mobs you know after the fact like what what like was this that because, uh, I don't know, people, the, black people were willing to just put up with that, I guess, even though slavery was so much better. Do you know what I mean? Like, they were, they were, like, they fought so hard for some other alternative, right, even though slavery was really

the optimal living experience for them. Yeah, well, this just in, they're way better than what they had in Africa, too. Right. Like, yeah, oh, like, well, that's where it all starts right there is well, do you know how bad they had it over there? It was like, well, at least they had fucking autonomy to do it for it to be bad. Jesus. Like that's, by the way, I'm from a rural area that barely has internet. If you came and stole me and took me to Cupertino, you know, and just they're like, hey, look at this.

You're in a three-story house and there's people developing apps right beside you. I'd be like, that's true, but I didn't ask for this. You know what I mean? Also, if you had to fucking work 19 hours a day or whatever. whatever, under threat of fucking flogging or death. Yeah, you'd be like, yeah, I think I'd rather just go back to rural Georgia. Yeah, I know Cooper Tino's really nice. At least, yeah, at least I know where all the good fishing spots are where I'm at.

You know what I mean? Like, I was getting on fine. We's all hanging out. Yeah, all right. Well, listen, we're out of time. Thank you, Corey, for coming back. And also, Matt, sorry a downer. No, no, no.

We're hitting Matt. Put up the, uh, I guess he's, got a graphic, Matt says, of our, yeah, look at that, well-read comedy tour. Go to well-read comedy.com, please, and there you see it down there in the bottom. And thank you all for joining us, and Smart Mark will be back next week. And thank you, Corey, and yeah, all that. Hey, thank you, uh, thanks to the skeuniverse. Is that what you call them?

That's right. Yes, that's what we call it now, the skeuniverse. Oh, that make that up? You did make that up, yeah. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. It's funny because, like, we say skews day, a fan said that. We didn't think of that either.

We've never thought of any of those. Like other people say, yeah, and then we're like, oh, that's good. We should do that. Yeah. Anyway, thank you all very much, and we'll see you next week. See you, love you bye. See you. Love you, bye.