Weekly Skews - Weekly Skews 7/12/22 – J6 Hearing: Whole Lotta Crazy

Episode Date: July 13, 2022

Tonight we'll be talking about, what else, today's January 6th Committee Hearing. Yet another doozy, it offered hugs from insurrectionists, fistfights in the Oval Office, and nefarious intentions galore. Lot to unpack; join us! Support the show

Hey, everybody. Welcome back. Happy Skews Day to you. It's July 12th, 2022. I'm Trey Crowder, and that's Mark Audey. What's up, Mark? What's up, Trey? Just ran in from work. We're shooting outside all day to day, so I'm sitting here with my pants off. Nobody can see. It's living in the dream. Yeah. Anybody noticed we got any, like, you know, clockwork? watchers out there. We started a couple minutes late because Mark was texting us fervently. I'm almost there. I'm in traffic. I'm parking. I'm coming upstairs. So we thought we could, you know, stretch until

he arrived because, you know, it's just not the same show without you. And look, here we both are. We made it. We're back, dude. We did it. Well, how's it going otherwise? Pretty good, man. It was pretty hectic day. I prepped this show, but I almost kind of forgot what it's about, so I'm going to enjoy learning

along with everybody else. this story out of Texas made me laugh this woman got pulled over for driving alone in the HOV lane but she's pregnant so she was like do you watch the news motherfucker? This is a person right and so this is a person right here

there's a woman named Brandy Baton if I'm saying her name wrong I apologize BOTT O N E she's here's her recounting the conversation with the cop he said is there anyone else in the car and I looking around said yes there And he said, well, where? I pointed to my stomach. And I was like, right here.

He said, well, it's two bodies outside of the body. So that doesn't count. And I was a shock. And I was like, well, in light of everything that's happened, I'm not trying to make a huge political stance here. But do you understand this is a baby? And the cop was like, I don't want to deal with this. Yeah. Which really hit for me.

Yeah, I don't want to deal with anything if they can help it, you know. But yeah. We'll talk about that in a minute. But yeah. That whole thing of like, you know, it's a person, you know, it's like, you know, fetus is their people. And it's like, well, not like that, though. Like the classic, like, do what we say.

Not like that, though, like is a running theme with their policies. They count for purposes of sending you to jail, but they do not count as people for purposes of helping you drive to jail faster. I think it's the way we look at this. But so the other cop was like, yeah, if you fight this, and most likely get dropped, probably because somebody likes to deal with an angry white woman who's got who's on one and she said but they still gave me a ticket so my $250 ticket was written to cause inconvenience right and nailed it absolutely yeah and also I assume there's some kind

of quota involved or something because it's like the cop is just acknowledging he's like listen you could totally just get this wiped out it probably won't be a problem but you know we're still going to give it to you like I'm acknowledging that it's not entirely legitimate uh if you if you just but, you know, we're going to make you a very pregnant woman put aside multiple parts of multiple days to go to court and just make that happen and, you know, be on your way. I do want to quote this one a little further because she says, if we're talking about a fetus being a person, there's a lot of other rights that attach to being a person that will be litigated in the courts, such as does my fetus qualify for a tax deduction?

Does my fetus qualify for citizenship? Does my fetus qualify for child support? These are all issues that are going to be raised and probably litigated in the courts. And to that, I want to say, yeah, it seems like there are a lot of unintended consequences to this dumb-ass fucking decision. Maybe this woman should be on the Supreme Court. She can go to a fancy law school, but she exists in the real world where we ought to deal with shit. And unlike any of these motherfuckers who decide this stuff. Yeah, it's funny that they're just like, oh, yeah, you know, no way this will spiral out of control in any unforeseen, you know, possibilities at this point.

Like, this is the type of thing that just, you know, you alter it, undo 50 years of, uh, repeat. productive rights and it's just smooth sailing after that everybody just go with it not question us at all and it'll be fine this is a good example if we talked on the show before about the phenomenon of malicious compliance you're about us talking about that where it's like you know complying with the sort of regulation you don't agree with in a malicious fashion this is a kind of version of that the other one was that dude who in florida that teacher who was trying to get the bible removed from school libraries because it's you You know, so graphic.

Yeah, it's very graphic in nature. And I just, I'm a big fan of all types of that shit. Love malicious compliance. So much begatting in the Bible. This guy begat that guy. That guy begat this lady. Yeah. And speaking of cops not one to do stuff if they don't feel like it.

Texas, a newspaper got a hold of some more footage inside the Yuvalde school. today uh and basically just watch the cops fuck around for an hour and a half um the yeah that's that's a picture of a cop getting hand sanitizer so while kids are getting shot in the school this guy's like well you know COVID's still around so right safety first you know yeah yeah yeah yeah um there's a whole more scenes a man of blue rubber gloves and a black shirt, kicky pants to a black baseball cap with a stethoscope around his neck. So he's a medic, I guess, arrives and talks to officers. Other paramedics survival supplies.

Two officers in camouflage fist bump each other. That happened a full 45 minutes before they went in the room. And this one, this cop, while he's shaking his phone, they caught his phone. He's just sitting there reading Twitter or text you against a text message or whatever. His phone has the Punisher logo on it. While he's standing there, you know, not doing any person. punishing. I know. It's like, you know, there's somebody in there that kind of needs punishing right now. A punisher lover. Drew, our buddy Drew Morgan had a bit about like explaining stuff

to kids or whatever. And he, he, there's a whole little runner in there where he talks about cops loving the punisher and how stupid and ironic that is, you know, because he's like, I'm pretty sure the Punisher wasn't too into cops. You know what I mean? He's a fucking murder, homicidal vigilante. It's an odd thing for cops to be super into. It's sort of like, you know, all these hardcore conservatives who are real pissed off right now about Rage Against the Machine's reunion tour because of how political they're being, Rage Against Machines back on tour now. And they've been doing a lot of political stuff, Rage Against the Machine, and a lot of conservatives online are really upset about it. They're like, why are they, like, raging against the machinations of our government? I just wanted to rock out to songs that are completely apolitical and always have been.

You know, this is just weightlifting music. I don't know why they've got to get political with it. And I saw a tweet that was like, what machines do you think they were raging against? The fucking dishwasher, you know, like it's wild. Yeah. Yeah, some people complain a lot about it. They just thought, they thought, you know, killing in the name of, which killing in the name of is in the song because it's about police or it's about killing people killing in your name. And then paying attention to the title, paying no attention to the other lyrics.

The only part of the hits for them is the fuck you. I won't do what you tell me. Right. Which is, in their minds, is aimed at, you know, Dr. Fauci and their moms. So people are telling them not to say slurs anymore, you know. You can't say gay anymore and stuff like, fuck you, I won't do what you tell me. That's how they interpret that. Never mind, I hold some of those who work forces are the same that burn crosses.

Like, they just skip right over that part. Yeah, the song has like six, six lyrics total on the end of hear them. So the thing about the Punisher or anybody who's read the comics is the kind of person that the Punisher would murder is hypothetically a lazy, fat, pensioned cop who sits around outside while people are being killed. That's the kind of person, the Punisher, would be a whole issue about him killing all these cops. So I'm not advocating that. I want to be very clear here. No, Punisher, if you're listening, and we know you are. Yes.

Stand back and stand down. Yeah, right. We're not advocating you do that, just opining on your philosophy as we see it. All right. Well, let's get into it. So another caveat, Mark barely made it, but he's here. Also, producer Matt is here, but here's the deal. If you watch last week, you know that he was among the Vikings in Norway.

Well, you know, classic socialist country. They got a labor strike going on over there. People fighting for the rights and stuff. That's annoying. No, it's in the airlines, which has fucked up. producer Matt's travel schedule, so he's still in Norway, where it's 3 a.m., and I assume the sun's still out, you know, because that's how they work. You know, I don't know how Norway works. But anyway, he's on the other side of the planet in the middle of the night right now, doing his best to be

on the ones and twos and pull his producer duties. So we thank him for that. It does hit for me that Matt's like stuck in Norway for, he's supposed to fly back on Monday, right? So it lasts four or five days ago. No, it's, I forget, it doesn't matter. He's supposed to flown back. And he's stuck in Norway because of a labor action. He would absolutely support. For sure. Burn it all down, motherfuckers, but can you wait until I left? Yeah, until I get out of here.

Right. The same thing happened to me and Corey in the UK. There was a looming train worker strike. And me and Corey were like, you know, hey, fight to power and all that, but like we got a lot of train rides on this itinerary, man. Like, you know, if we just sort of hold that off for three weeks,

which they did. And we thank them for that. Thank you, train workers in the United Kingdom. Anyway, producer Matt is with us from Norway, doing the thing. This is weekly skews. I want to remind you, of course, the requisite two items. First, if you want to see me perform live, you can go to traycrouter.com, get your tickets now. I'm on a solo stand-up tour doing a full hour, all new material, having a lot of fun with it. Thanks to anybody's come out so far.

The show's been great. I'll be in Jersey and New Hampshire this weekend. A lot of fun places after that. I hope you'll come and see me. If you'd like to, go to traycrowder.com and get your tickets. Number two, if you like this humble program who would like to show your support, you can do so by signing up on Patreon, $5 a month, get you access to full-length bonus episodes like the one we did last week

on the rise of violent extremism in this country. A fun-filled topic, to be fair, but y'all know how we do. We bring the levity either way. We've got plenty more in store. We're having a good time. We hope you'll consider it. If you would consider it, go to weekly skews.com slash more or go to Patreon and look me up. Either way, sign up on there, get some more skews in your life.

Okay. As for the show tonight, what else? The most recent episode of the hot new true crime political thriller known as the January 6th committee hearings. This one, like all the ones before, quite a doozy. Bombs dropped a plenty. We'll get through all of them in due time. But first, let's laugh at some dumb stuff, shall we, beginning with. the Daily Dumbass.

Tonight's DD, this lady's grandkids for not coming to Meemaw's house fully strapped. That's right. Let's hear this clip. Wild. I have five grandchildren. I would do anything, anything, to protect my five grandchildren, including as a last resort shooting them if I had to to protect the lives of my grandchildren. Maybe it's maybe I'm not really tracking the logic there.

She's going to protect the lives of her grandchildren by shooting them. It's also like, does she think that grandkids are like horses or something? If she's like, yeah, you know, one of them falls out of a tree and breaks its leg, what are you going to do? You know, you got to shoot it. Everybody knows that. Do you know the context of this? Because I don't, because I thought it was funny. without but like I like to imagine the things she might be talking about like if this is some more

like critical race theory what are they teaching our kids in schools type stuff you know what I mean it's like you're not going to indoctrinate my children with this graphic my grandchildren with this graphic filth I will not stand for it I'll shoot them right now if I have to okay I'll gladly shoot them before I let the liberals poison their minds or whatever no matter what it is pretty wild shit. That would be funnier, but I assume she's just debating her little meant to say shooting to protect them.

It's Debbie Lesko of Arizona. I don't know if she hasn't murdered. I don't she have any bodies on her. You know what's so fun? I'm not kidding. These people are so consistently crazy that it genuinely did not occur to me that

maybe she just meant to say something else. Like, I did not question for a second, that she intended to say, I'll shoot them right now if that's what it takes. Like, I just assumed, I totally bought it. No questions asked. But, yeah, I'm sure you're right. Shooting someone else, I guess.

You know, I'll shoot somebody to protect my grandkids is what she was trying to say. Yeah, I'm assuming. I didn't think to Google because I was so confident, but she did. Yeah, you're probably right. Yeah, so anyway, this is revelatory, though, because there's a very specific American disease that always like drives me insane which is the inability to even imagine a better world like it's just like right it's the best therefore the way we do it is the best therefore can't be right and so she can't even imagine a scenario and living in a country where her

grandchildren aren't under threat of being murdered and she wouldn't have to shoot somebody to stop that them happening right do you know what I'm saying it's like that doesn't even that's not even like it's it's like math that's silly that can't that can't like Norway where mad is that's a made-up place right that doesn't exist like uh Right. Shinsu Abe, and I'm saying his name wrong, I apologize. I've never seen it pronounce, but the former Japanese prime minister just got killed a couple days ago.

Gerserneros were all like, well, Japan has strict gun control laws, and that guy got shot. It was like, yeah, but he's like the first or second guy to get shot in the entire nation of Japan all fucking year, a country of 125 million people, and the guy who did it had to build his own gun to do it. Now, obviously they're going to be rent. You can't stop all bad things from happening. No one's saying you're going to like make a wish and stop all evil. But right, but we could at least try, right?

And on that direct, on that exact note, let's do our first honorable mention for Daily Dumbass. And it is China for thinking we wouldn't notice some lasso in all our clouds up like that. This is Herschel Walker at a campaign event in Georgia. That he got rid of the pipeline. Get rid of the pipeline. Get rid of our energy starts its downfall. Because we energy for everything. You all know that?

And they were talking about the Green New Deal. You know, I just realized how much she sounds like Charles Barkley, not going to hear. I mean, help you all with that real quickly. And I'm going to do it in the rights field way. So you can understand what I'm saying. We, in America, have somebody clean as air and clean this water of anybody in the world.

That's right. That's true. That's true. We got put from the Green New Deal millions or billions of dollars cleaning our good air up. So all of a sudden China and India ain't put nothing in there cleaning that situation up. So all that bad air is still there. But since we don't control the air, our good air decided to flow over to China.

bad air. So when China gets out of good air, their bad air got to move. Yeah. So it moves over to our good air space. And now we got to get that. Can't have that. Yeah.

So a couple of things about this. It's funny to me, I like, the way he sort of prefaces this by kind of saying, he kind of says like, listen, I'm going to say this in a real dumb-ass type of way.

because we're in Georgia and y'all know how dumb we be down here so since we're all dumbasses I'm explaining in a dumb ass fashion for everybody's benefit like I find that funny and then also

we were texting about this and this is what I meant where you're just like oh because other bad things might happen we shouldn't try to make anything any better or whatever it's like the idea that if you just want to say like it's really discouraging

the thought that we would put all this effort into like cleaning up our emissions and clean up our air and water and fighting pollution and whatnot when other countries like India and China do not do that and we share the planet with them and I don't like that you know it's like that is a fair thing to say but to a say it in this profoundly dumbass fashion and B use it to imply that that then means that we shouldn't try to do anything good is fucking insane. And it's a good example of what you're talking about. They won't even attempt to imagine a better world or a better possibility. Yeah. And it also doesn't give China and any enough credit. Now, they obviously, all their

governments have their problems, but they, they are very big countries, a huge population to recognize that because they're very hot countries, especially India, climate change is going be catastrophic for them, so they are trying. But also, like, conservatives have this, like, you know, habit of pretending the world started at, like, 11 a.m. this morning, right? And so the rest of the world, America does look like hypocrites. When we say stuff, like, we all have to clean up air equally because we produce a ton of the world's pollution.

Like, I think we use, we have 3% of the world's population, use, like, 25% of the world's energy, right? So when we say that we all have to cut back, the rest of the role had, here's America to say, well, they already got rich off extracting a bunch of national resources. They built their economy through extracted means. They sort of did their pseudo-colonialism around the world, and now they want to pull a ladder up behind them. But we have yet to even industrialize our economies fully.

We don't like a lot of, to most people in India don't even have air conditioning. They don't a lot of people don't have electricity. And so like, but like the thing is, remember Spider-Man with great power comes great responsibility? Right. See, but a conservative brain goes, we have great power. no one can hold us responsible right yeah exactly yes exactly that's exactly correct with great power comes the ability to do whatever the fuck you want because who's going to stop you right spider man

versus actually that was in the boys this season that exact thing yeah he was talking about homelander and he's like with great power comes uh the the ability to be a truly massive cunt or something like that yeah yeah i butchered butcher's quote but yeah it's uh anyway okay Good Australian accent. Yeah, but the, yeah. So anyway, with it, so what happened, but also what happens when people push up these clown candidates is they have a staff who kind of knows what they're talking about.

And they give them a talking point, and then it plugs in their stupid brain and rattles around. Like with the point that, like, it doesn't make much difference for America, a country of 300 million people to cut back in a ton of ways when China and India, a population of like total, like over 2 billion people aren't going to do much.

It's not going to make much debt in the world. It's like, so that is a fair point. It's still stupid because we're not saving the world here. Cutting back even a half, that tenth or a half a degree is going to save millions of lives. And he's like, well, we shouldn't try if it's hard or, you know, only going to work in the margins. But in him and he is. It's like a young, it's like my sons. It's like elementary school age sibling logic where it's like, well, he ain't got to.

do it if he ain't why i got to do it it's like you know because it's your homework you know we're talking about your grades he ain't in your class or whatever it's like well it's not fair his teacher didn't give him homework so why should i have to do homework you know it's that but you know the people running half of our country or attempting to or just running the whole thing his cookies is bigger but did you get a cookie there you got a cookie there right cookies are good uh yeah but anyway so about time i but that talk that that's half sensible talking point if it's still a, you know, psychopathic filters out of his mouth. It comes out as the Chinese are still in clouts.

Right. All right. Our next honorable mention is Mr. Greedy A-hole for being unavailable for this big new government job. That's right. I put up the screen grab when you have it, man, in case you guys missed it. Joe Biden named a new anti-corruption czar. And it's a man by the name of, I shit you not, rich nephew. Yes.

Simulation, dude. Simulation is just fucking with us at this point. Come on. This is just pure, you know, unfiltered stupidity for us to enjoy. But it's just a bit based on this guy's name. Because he has qualified and seems like a decent dude. Right. Or Dick.

Dick. Dick. Hell, be Dick nephew, you know. That's a good rap name, honestly. Dick nephew. Yeah, he sounds like like fucking commenters on the NBA subreddit or something like that. Yeah, exactly. The dick nephews.

I mean, yeah, no, he does, he does seem, he's like, he has been cool and self-aware, but he laughed it off. He thinks it's funny, like you said, he is qualified, so not shitting on the dude at all. It's just a, it's just a funny headline, and it just seems appropriate for the world in which we live. While we're on the subject of government family corruption, we do a Hunter Biden update, because there's a couple bunch of weird bullshit floating around about him. So somebody hacked his eye cloud. or got some new videos on his old one of the old stolen laptops or something. It's a bunch of videos of him doing Hunter Biden stuff, which is, you know, doing drugs and having sex or prostitutes,

all the stuff that you do when you're a rich fail son. And so, but one of the things they're trying to dump him for is like, is a video of him going down a water slide naked, which honestly, that just fucking hits. Good for him. And there were texts for him talking about how Joe Biden was in possession of five guns in 2019, despite campaigning on gun control. The right-wing media is treated

that have some sort of dunk. You can own guns and be in favor of gun control. There aren't unsensible or hypocritical positions. I mean, I do. I'm that. And I've openly admitted it. I've never purchased a gun,

but I own like a good number of guns because I inherited my grandfather's arsenal. But still, so like, you know, I own guns. him super in favor of gun control. And I don't feel even a little bit weird about that. There's a lot of like liberal gun owners out there, you know, just it doesn't mean you can't say that we could still try to do something to make it a little harder for people to

murder a bunch of their fellow citizens with high power to assault rifles. Yeah. I mean, I have the same way. I have handmade down guns in my mom's house. I don't have any in my apartment because I am ambivalent. My wife's super anti. And that's how those conflicts are resolved. what I don't care. She cares a lot if she gets what she wants and we're both happy.

But like, again, talking about people, gun owners be in favor of gun control. The NRA was in favor of gun control until the 80s because responsible gun owners should be in favor of trying to eliminate irresponsible gun owners because they're in danger to everyone, right? Ronald Reagan signed gun control laws in California. That's mostly because of racism because the Black Panthers walk around Oakland with AK-47s. But anyway, that's so stupid about hypocrisy. There's also like a weird thing floater on right wing media about, so Biden-teth strategic oil reserves try to get gas prices down because Americans get matter about gas prices than literally anything in the world. Anything else. And so what happens to you dump oil onto the free market is the highest bidder gets it, right?

but you still bring down the price because of supply and demand. That's how it works. That's how a market economy works. A Chinese firm bought a bunch of it. It happens to be a Chinese firm that Hunter Biden used to have some sort of deal with years ago. So how that's getting filtered into

is Joe Biden committed treason by selling the strategic oil and reserve to China to benefit Hunter Biden. And it's like, you guys, you guys don't like the free market. I mean, I don't, but you guys, you guys said yeah i love it if you need see it so anyway i just seem like look yeah it seems like hunter

biden is something of a fuck up and a fail son like you said but like he's not in a role like ivanka was i'm not trying to be what about isn't me i'm just saying like he doesn't what's he do he's not in the white house he's not in the administration he's not like doing shit so you know i don't know he like he's a little more hardcore than like billy carter was you know I mean, but there's been, like, presidential fucking, you know, drunk-ass, wild, fuck-up family members before. Yeah. And it's just, I just don't.

Yeah. And it's just, it's like, it's one of those things. It's like, you know, the things that they have to get so incensed about, you know what I mean, are like they just pale in comparison to the things that we are incensed about, you know, fucking mass shootings, outrageous health care, fucking the world dying, literal treason. versus, you know, the president's son is a fuck up and they're teaching kids about slavery and it makes them feel bad

and Mr. Potato Head ain't got a dick anymore or whatever. Like, and it's just wild to me that how they don't, they can't, they have no self-awareness about that whatsoever, but of course they don't. Yeah. We're going to have a civil war in this country trade because people read about a personal internet who prefers to go by they instead of she.

So we got like gift of guns. Sorry. No, I was just going to say a little peek behind the curtain here, a little bit of shop talk. I say we show this Alex Jones video because it's funny and I like it. And then like just sort of briefly mentioned Georgia tablets before moving on to Lauren Bobert and getting to the, because I do want to show, I do want to talk about Lauren Bobert too. All right. Okay.

So with that said, our next honorable mention is Georgia's version of the Joker for not running his mission plan past Alex Jones first. Whoever did this, I would tell you. I understand why you did it. You're probably watching right now. But I would encourage you to stop and to not do anything further. We're very blessed. You didn't hurt anybody. You obviously chose a time to do it where you wouldn't hurt people.

And I respect you. And I understand you. But I also ask you to stand down. And as Trump said, stand by. Pause that, Matt, if you can. Matt, if you can go back to that last part, leave that up, leave it paused. Yeah, because I fucking love this headline on Alex Jones' website. But first, so for context, on our last Patreon episode,

we talked in more detail about the fact that these Georgia guidestone tablets were blown up by a lunatic. They were also built by a lunatic. But if you want to hear us talk more about that, you know, sign up on Patreon, get that last episode. But really, I'm just trying to cuff for time here. Those guidestones were wild. They got blown up. Alex Jones says to the guy, hey, I know you're watching right now.

And I feel like the thing is, he probably is, you know, and Alex Jones is telling him, I love it, love your shit, love what you did. But, you know, don't explode any more stuff. And on the website here where this came up, just read this headline from Info Wars. Watch live. Georgia Guidestones bombed. Texas declares invasion. Netherlands bans cows. And July 4th shooter is Antifa.

It's just like just a. a bingo card of fucking bat shit lunacy, comical bat shit lunacy. I mean, Netherlands, bands, cows. I got a few years ago, as we're going to script about conspiracy theorists, because you know, they hit for me and I'm weird. And so I was reading Infowars every day just to get a feel for what they're talking about. And the thing is, obviously, there's like a bunch of lunacy mixed in there. They'll take real things, the freedom is stupid.

But, like, so much of stuff there catches traction because it is based in reality. The Netherlands bans cows thing Is sort of true if you squint and headbutt a like a cinder block for like three or four minutes What happened was to come back on pollution and river water poisoning and fight global warming Netherlands has tried to restrict the use of nitrogen and fertilizer To which I'm glad to know the Netherlands has lunatics like this too But the lunatic the kind of lunatics who would have storm to capital and not over the capital of the Netherlands is a high Amsterdam.

Amsterdam, yeah. They, they're a bunch of Dutch farmers marched to the capital with their cows. Or basically like, I won't be able to feed this cow. So I'm just going to murder this cow on the streets of the capital. If you don't let me keep using nitrogen and fertilizer.

Yeah. Yeah. They're standing there with like, I assume they don't have guns. They got like a big knife or something to this cow's throat on the steps of their version of Congress. Like, change the law or the cow gets it. I swear to God, I swear to God, I'll do it.

Try me right now. Giant wooden shoes are going to club big cow to hit the head. Yeah, yeah. I heard them coming from a mile away because of the clogging of the wooden shoes down the cobblestone roads or whatever the hell. They're all stone. There's prostitutes standing around. That's the summation of what I know about the Netherlands. So, all right.

One more quick, honorable mention, then we'll get into the January 6th hearing. We got Lauren Bobert for going full woke and putting it. pronouns and her actual name here this is a clip from uh fox news i think right and it's just yeah let's watch the clip then i'll give you the context because its context is hilarious too all right go ahead it's a fun little piece of uh instant karma which who can't enjoy that um if do we lose matt i don't know there we go matt's alive stumbling, fumbling, and mumbling through a teleprompter speech really does call into question not only his mental acuity, but his competency. We'll leave that for another time.

Congressman Womondon, Bobert, thank you so much. He's like, what kind of dumbass can't read a simple teleprompter script? Come on. Anyway, I got Congressman Lauren Bubart, like it's just a... He said, he said, woman bobert, woman bobert. Woman bobert. Oh, my God. So the context of this is Biden gave a speech a couple days ago where he was, right, he was talking about, he saw him an abortion and he said some of the line.

I'm not going to the exact line right, but he said the dynamic win. It was something like, women are going to be harmed by this. Repeat the line. Women are going to be harmed by this. And the right wing crazy went nuts because they think that he was like, there was like a parenthetical state direction of the teleprompter and he just said, repeat the line. now no one else needs to know this that's not how teleprompters work

but the whole point of teleprompter which holds maybe 10, 15 words total is you don't have to remember what to fucking say so you would not put repeat the line and then not repeat the line at teleprompter. Otherwise that would be very confusing for everyone involved including the person reading it and the person plugging the teleprompter copy and the teleprompter operator

is trying to turn at the right speed where you're reading it. So the thing is all these people who are spinning this read teleprompters for a living so they fucking know this shit. So anyway, fuck the moment. they're not just stupid or liars. Yeah, there's a pretty great clip of Kevin Sorbo, who's a noted Christian right-wing lunatic now

when he was on Hercules back in the day. There's like a blooper real footage of him clearly reading stage direction because he says something that's upsetting to the character. He says, frustrated. I thought it was disappointed. Disappointed, you know, which he was supposed to say the line in a disappointed fashion,

but he just said disappointed. So, yeah, anyway, that's good. Lauren Boebert, yeah, she's not done being dumb, never is, some other stuff going on. She argued, she's been arguing that her husband was the real victim of the infamous Bowling Alley, Bowling Alley Dick Showing incident that we've all heard about. According to her, he was simply at the bar at the bowling alley trying to impress Bobert's stepfather, just man to man, being man to him. men stuff and some flusy bartender wouldn't stop flirting with her would-be husband and heard that he had a tattoo on his dick and demanded demanded that he show it to her he being a gentleman refused repeatedly but this woman this loose woman

could not be deterred and she insisted repeatedly please show me your dick tattoo and so finally Mr. Bobert had no other recourse but to attempt to acquiesce but according to her he went to pull his dick out at the bowling alley as you do and was stopped before actually exposing anyone but that's not the real point the real point is it was this fucking slutty-ass bartender

who is actually to be blamed I'm not making any of that up that's what she said happened it's funny too I like if she actually believes that like her husband told like he comes home and he's like maybe they were just like they made me show him my dick you know how they are you know everybody's always begging to see my dick and they're like and she's like yeah i can totally see that who wouldn't want to see his

dick he's like i had no choice they made me do yeah i was reading a story earlier about this woman caught her husband on the ring camera talking about the next door neighbor sand uh when he saw her bending over everyone really wanted to you know throw it in her and so the wife's response to this was to go next door and ask her neighbor to stop bending over in the yard so that feels like bober so there are women that they're like bober do you know what I'm saying the husband can't be playing great like but the funny part was she said she said my mama was one of them yeah the barter the bobert writes in her book that the bartender only asked to see his dick because quote she could tell he was a catch but like the idea that a woman would ask to see a man's dick

and the man would refuse to show it. It's very believable if you've never met anyone who's a woman or a man. Right. And let's leave it at that. Okay. Let's, you know, we're running along.

We're having a good time. Let's talk finally about the big January 6th hearing today. Big part of it. Getting to hear directly from the Looney Tunes finally, some of the nuts who were involved. For example, this rioter showed up and testified and then tried to make some amends. Stephen Ayers,

his name is, the Capitol police officers who defended the Capitol from the mob that he actively participated in. Just trying to hug it out, Mark. Yeah, he does seem to feel remorse tonight, so that's good. I don't know how you get that place in the first place, but, you know, we all make mistakes, including, you know, storming the Capitol, trying over to the government. So, but he said, this guy's name is Ayers. He said he was hugging cops and his way out to apologizing.

And for known, you know, with one of the cops in the face of the Capitol Police, told us they responded to errors by saying no apology. But then he added it doesn't really do shit for me. I hope it does something for him. That feels like how I'd feel about it too. This is a, so today's hearing was like, so all other hearings have been leading up to this one. This is a fairly big win because it's like what, what got the lunatics riled up and started, right? Because you've got to connect that to Trump and did the, were they intending to roll up the lunatics? And this, they all these people were basically saying that yes, the mob got crazier once Trump

promoted it and got crazier as he tweeted throughout the day um like the Washington post headline on this was Trump tweet promoting January 6th protest turned online planning quote openly homicidal panel says so they're making the case that the white house plan the Trump campaign plan was to make shit as nuts as possible right and so that denying they had anything to do with the riot is utter bullshit and here's some uh phone records uh click about phone I guess to back that up. The next day on January 5th, the day before they attack on the Capitol, tens of thousands of people converged on Washington.

While certain close associate Trump privately expressed concerns about what would occur on January 6th, other members of the president's inner circle spoke with great anticipation about the events to come. The committee has learned from the White House phone laws that the president spoke to Steve Bannon, his close advisor, at least twice on January. January 5th. The first conversation they had lasted for 11 minutes. Listen to what Mr. Bannon said that day after the first call he had with the president. All hell is going to break loose tomorrow. It's all converging and now we're on as they say the point of attack, right?

The point of attack tomorrow. I'll tell you this. It's not going to happen like you think it's going to happen. Okay. It's going to be quite extraordinarily different. And all I can say is strap in all right yeah and next week is a one of those notes here's a text from ali alexander if you want to throw that up matt um that this to this image uh for context allie alexander is one of the main organizers of the stop the steel rally he's also conspiracy theorist here's his text message tomorrow ellipson u.s capital trump is supposed to order us to capital at the end of his speech but we'll see now this is like minutia but important.

Right. They, Trump, they've always made the case that when Trump urged everyone to go to the capital in the speech, it was spontaneous, right? But it was not spontaneous,

and they had that pretty much in black letter communications. Because here's a, here's a text from a White House employee, right? If you pull this up now, this is from Kylie Kramer to Mike Lindell. This stage only between us. We're having a second stage of the Supreme Court again after the ellipse.

Post is going to have us march there. slash the Capitol, so as they go on the Supreme Court from the Capitol. It cannot get out about the second stage because people will try to get try to set up another and sabotage it. You can also not get out about the March because I will be in trouble with the National Park Service.

His opponents is just going to call for it, quote, unexpectedly, end quote. So, a couple of things about that. So they planned that they planned to spontaneously call for it. And also, she's more afraid of the fucking Park Service than the FBI. I know. It's so, you're like,

actively plotting a violent coup basically and to be in the middle of that and be like but listen we cannot let the park service find out all right like because they're going to be really mad and i'll get in so much trouble with the park service if they find out about our insurrection that we're plotting for tomorrow but yeah that ali ali alexander guy yeah found it stopped the steel and all that was actively involved yeah him texting somebody he supposed to tell us to do it, but we'll see. It's like, I mean, he wouldn't, I know this dude makes shit up for a living, but like, he got that from somewhere. You know what I mean? Like, it's like someone told him this was supposed to happen,

obviously. And if he made it up, whoever the White House lady in charge of getting park service permits, made it up to its exact same time, you know, even though they don't know each other. So, so the, there's not a crazy stuff from today, but probably the craziest thing I heard that like the big Q&I meeting and the

White House in December, in January 5th, with, you know, Sidney Powell and all the root on me, right, Mike Flynn, the guy from Overstock, David, Patrick Byrne from Overstock.com. So we'll talk about them a little bit more later, but they were there for White House for a six-hour meeting. Trey, in your life, have you ever sat there was six-hour meeting? Dude, no, kill me. I've been at some long meetings. And I've sat through, like, training classes in my old day job, you know, that were like that long and nothing is worse than that.

Let alone being in one where you're being constantly bombarded with fucking treasonous lunacy by a cadre of maniacs, you know, like if you're on Team Normal, as they're called, or whatever, having to sit there for six hours and listen to Team Crazy, talk shit. So I correct myself for a second. I said that meeting was on January 5th. it was on December 19th. So it was on December 19th, um, his December, tone's December 19th tweet,

which I'm assuming was in advance January 6th, Paula and Ovalos meeting were insults, personal attacks, and even challenges to fist fights were exchanged among participants. As a group of outside advisors to Trump, that's Powell and then tried to persuade him to issue an executive order to seize voting machines and named Sidney Powell as a special counsel to investigate fraud in the election.

Uh, and Cassie Hutchinson, who, who was the one he testified about a couple weeks ago that made everybody mad about Trump trying to grab the steering wheel. and the beast. She described the media to the White House

A and a text message as the West Wing is unhinged. Unhinges in all caps, which is really the only way you should write unhinged. So, more about Patrick Byrne for a second.

So Patrick Byrne founded Overstad.com, which is when my broke ass got engaged to my first fiancé where I got her $300 engagement ring on, so shout out to him. He also,

if you've seen her in the news before, he also fucked that Russian spy who took down the NRA, Maria Boutina. And he got pushed out of as CEO of Overstock because not for funneling cash to Maria Butina, which would have had enough. But when he got caused, so they're being like, ah, my bad, I shouldn't have spent company money on a Russian honeypot. He said, he blamed the affair on the deep state. He said, he claimed using company letterhead that, quote, men in black, end quote,

figures in the federal government had urged him to romance Boutina. So I'm sorry, but, you know, Jason Bourne came and told me to fuck her, so I had to. That was his defense. Right. That's right up there with, no, she made me show her my dick. That's what happened. It's like, no, the FBI made me. Yeah, right.

The FBI made me woo this Russian assed. It wasn't my choice. Yeah. So this woman, you know, slept with a lot of, like, right-wing fundraiser dudes around Washington, at least three or four that I can remember from the news reports, which is, you know, I'm not judging her. that. I'm more judging for being the Russian spy part of it. So, so I wonder what Bertina's been up to and Matt filled me in. She ran for, uh, office in Russia. And I think it was

just like a local like state level, equivalent of a state level office, like a state senator kind thing. Um, but she has a shitty reputation, you know, because the Russians still have the internet kind of. And so, but Byrne was funneling cash to her campaign. He's still paying of sending her money, even if she runs her office in Russia. And she lost, they, uh, Putin's government tried to declare her the winner, but it turns out she'd lost so badly they couldn't rig it for her. And one of the reasons she lost. I didn't even know that could happen over there, dude.

Yeah. So, but one of the reasons she lost is because the constituents were upset about foreign money being funneled into their elections. Imagine that. But another detail on this. So according to a 20, 2016 email published in the Senate and Intelligence Committee report. Patina's other level, Paul Erickson, wrote the burn offered Bertina one million dollars to

let him father her child. He did the, he pulled the 50 cent, tray, have a baby by B, baby, be a millionaire. There it is, yeah. And the point of all this is that this guy is one of the small select group of individuals who's in the West Wing in the run-up of January 6th, openly advocating that the president fucking seize ballot machines and, you know, undermine democracy and basically steal the election. This dude who did all that shit that you just downline.

He's funny in the campaign of Vladimir Putin's teacher's pet who took down the NRA. And let's not forget that Paul Erickson thought was in love with Boutina and found out she didn't like him when he tried to flee and got arrested. And cops showed him the interview with her where she was saying she was leaving the country because having sex with him was gross. that's how she broke his heart I got roasted yeah

so back to the back to the hearings where we had a really truly unexpected for me appearance of nest thermostats let's talk about nest thermostats Matt if you have this video

Matt got that Norwegian internet lag maybe doesn't have it we lose Matt There we go. There we go. Yeah. I was asking, like, you're claiming the Democrats were working with Yugosazas, Venezuelans,

and whoever else. And at one point, General took out a diagram that supposedly showed I, Peter S is all over the world. And who was communicating with whom, via the machines and some kind of, comment about like nest thermostats being hooked up to the internet so it's been reported that during this meeting miss powell talked about dominion voting machines and made various election fraud claims that involve foreign countries such as venezuela iran and china is that accurate was it the fifth he said yeah so you can stop it matt uh yeah so this stuff is nice like i don't know if you've ever you have a nest thermostat tray no all right so we

got one air apartment. It's based like a smart thermostat. You're supposed to put on your Wi-Fi that's supposed to anticipate what temperature you'd like it to be, which is stupid because I'm four feet from the thermostat, and I can set it to what it's wanted to be, but the thermostat's smarter than I am. So when I said it's a 73, thermostat goes, no, 77, and I'm constantly argue with my thermostat, which is, I'm glad Mike Flynn has let me know that it's not the stupid computer making me sweat my balls off. It's the dead government of Hugo Chavez who can be depleting my thermostat. Right. Yeah, no, dude, no, thank you. The fucking the dad in me is outraged at how that sounds like it works.

You know, fucking, I can't have nobody else fucking with the thermostat, let alone a goddamn robot or the ghost in the thermostat machine trying to tell me what temperature it needs to be. No, I can't have that. That goes against the dad rules. I'm too stupid to figure out how to fucking turn it off, too. It's really frustrating. So Rudy Giuliani made a brief appearance too. He was at that meeting where he was yelling at the guys like that, that Ersman guy, we were just hearing from about how they didn't understand that laws were made up and they could just do. whatever they want and here's how rudy expressed that idea um if you want to play this is it

just uh it's a video i think about right yeah put screen grab this video yeah here we go maybe matt screen grabbed it i'll just tell you anyway that's my bad and i got i run down i label things either screen grab or uh video and um matt screen grabbed what i wanted to play a video because that's my fuck up anyway so what rudy did was he said um He said they weren't going hard enough. And actually, I think I used the word pussies. I said, you guys are being pussies. And you can imagine Rudy Giuliani's screaming pussy with his dentures flying out of his mouth.

It's someone who, also him calling alleging people are soft. This is the guy who just last week tried to say he could have died from getting a light slap on the back. Right. Yeah, Rudy Giuliani, like trying to physically intimidate anybody, is something to think about pretty wild. But, yeah, and then Hirschman, the guy we just saw being interviewed a minute ago, it was him. he was yelling at and Herschman said he then told he said Rudy kept getting up screaming shit so he finally told him either

come over here or sit your fucking ass down and of course naturally Rudy sat his fucking ass down yeah and so Bernie Carrick who you guys live in New York area at Mary of Bernie Carrick is a former New York

a disgrace former New York City Police Department Commissioner who was kind of Giuliani's right hand man during his reign over there he got he ended up going to prison because he got appointed some in Iraq and stole a bunch of money and took some payoffs. He's also a mob connected. We'll get that that's not, all that's not worth going to. But he was working with Giuliani on investigating the election.

And they got an email that Bernie Carrick at the Meadows. We can do all the investigations we want later. But if the president plans on winning, it's legislators that have to be moved. And this will do just that. So we'll find, we'll do the coup first. And then we'll find the facts that support the coup afterward, is what you're saying there. Yeah.

I mean, you know, I feel like if you're like, if you're on team coo you know like it's uh i'm not surprised by that stance you know what i mean if you're advocating for this in the first place i kind of feel like that's sort of the default position it's like look we'll just steal the country now and then we'll you know we'll back into all the rest it will work out the details later it's kind of how this thing has to work on account of there weren't any details to support doing it in the first place so like what choice didn't I have. During the pre-taped footage in the hearing, Pat Cipollone, who was a White House lawyer,

said that Pence should get the presidential Medal of Freedom for his courage, which made me laugh pretty hard. But I do think it would be funny for Biden to give Pence the Medal of Freedom because that would definitely get him murdered. That would be the last thing on the Congress. Joe Biden and Donald Trump conspiring him to get Pence murdered by giving the presidential middle of freedom. The thing is really funny to me is like,

If you guys watch this show regularly or read a lot of this stuff, so much this stuff is already public. It might just be for things or whatever, but a lot of it's been documented to the point that, like, Patrick Byrne being there and advocating the coup has already been out there for a while, which you'd know if you read Patrick Burns' blog, and this is from Will Summers' Report for the Daily Beast. Yeah, it's always funny to me when X Overstock founded, Patrick Burns shows up in this Trump election overthrow meeting. He blew the little of this thing soon after January 6th by writing a huge blog, revealing. the meeting and bragging about eating a ton of pigs in the blanket from the White House Chef. It's so funny for a million to be bragging about eating pigs in the blanket, but also that Trump had the White House chef make pigs in the blanket.

This is the guy with like a Michelin Star, is I bet. Yeah, but dude, Trump also like when Alabama or one of them won the national championship and got the White House visit, he served them like cold McDonald's and stuff. So I'm not surprised. It also just reminded me in that clip of Rudy Giuliani that we accidentally screen grabbed instead of playing the clip. It ended with him talking about how everybody split up at the end of being pissed off. And he was like, yeah, they went here, they went there.

And I got the cabinet offices all by myself. So that was pretty cool. And that's like exactly how he says it too. It's just like, I don't know. He's just a dumb ass. The minds of children, man. Anyway, my point with all this being, a lot of this being public already is like, it's good that the January 6th committee has turned this all into a compelling TV show

to grab America's attention to put it all in narrative form and tell a linear story in ways that are digestible for and think clips for us to show and for the TV news to break down and stuff. But I do wish that Americans would just pay attention to stuff and care, but then I guess it'd put me out of a job. I mean, not talking about you guys, I mean, the news shows and stuff I work on. So at the end of the hearing, Liz Cheney dropped, it could be a pretty big bomb. So apparently, an upcoming witness they have, Trump just tried to tamper with them. Like, Trump tried to call them and they, and they instead of talking to Trump, answer the phone, they just told the lawyer who told the Justice Department, and they referred the former president of the United States to the Justice Department for trying to, you know, just get someone on the phone to, I don't know, maybe not with us to hamper, maybe just trying to sexually harass them or say a bunch of racist jokes.

You never know with that guy. No, but like that, what are they going to like, yeah, I don't know. It's just like it's just throw it on the pile, add it to the list type of thing, you know, for me. It's like, oh, it's yet another thing he did that now the DOJ knows about. And it's like, all right. You just need one thing. I know, right. That's what you think.

Just need one thing. One thing would work. It's like, why don't any of these things work for y'all, DOJ? But yeah, this feels like another one of those things to me. But anyway. To go to that, to go to the hat comparison, they got, you know, what's I call it, Al Capone on tax evasion, because tax evasion is easier to prove the conspiracy to commit murder. If you got a phone record and a voicemail of whippers tampered on it, go with it.

I don't think we'd have to keep going. Just put him in jail for three months. I don't care. That's enough. That's enough to satisfy me. Just to end on one of the most absurd moments of today is that to be hearing it is. CNN, for some reason, employs John Bolton, Trump's psychotic former national security advisor, who has been a psycho for years.

he was George W. Bush's ambassador to the United Nations, even though his basic belief, his most basic belief, is the United Nations is stupid and should not exist. He's claimed that his biggest, proudest accomplishment was keeping America out of the International Criminal Court. And once you see this footage, you'll be glad, you'll know why he's glad to were out of the National Criminal Court because he is absolutely a fucking war criminal.

It's a play, man. It's not an attack on our democracy. It's Donald Trump looking. out for Donald Trump. It's a once in a lifetime occurrence. I don't know that I agree with you to be fair with all due respect. One doesn't have to be brilliant to attempt a coup. I disagree with that. As somebody who has helped plan coup d'etat. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's good, Matt. We don't have to hear the rest of it. But yeah, that's, dude, that's so wild. He's like, well, actually, you do have to be brilliant to do a coup. And the reason I know is because,

I do coos and I'm pretty brilliant. So I take, I resemble that remark, sir. I'll have you know. I need to remind everyone that the official position of the U.S. government is that they don't do coups. Right. Whenever we interfere in a foreign country, it's to elevate the rightly elected due ruler of that country. Right. And he's just on CNN like, hey, you know all those coups we do?

We did. Yeah, right. Well, that was me, dude. I did that, and it would fucking work great. So, like, don't start talking to me about how you don't have to be smart to do a coup, okay? Pretty smart guy. I take any opportunity to remind people this is the same dude that Trump tweeted out of nowhere once, something to the effect of. I'm paraphrasing, but he was like, you know, I've known a lot of stupid, boring, worthless pieces of shit in my time.

But out of all of them, I've never known a dumber, shittier, more awful and worthless piece of human trash than John. balton I wish tweets were only 240 characters because I could have got a stupid worthless piece of shit idiotic lying he said he says so was basically like yeah I'd look over meetings I'd just see him sitting there with this dumb fucking face just not doing shit made me sick it was just it was so funny to me but anyway that's that's this guy so apparently they both disagree on who is and is not stupid all right let's

And thank you all for being with us. We appreciate it. I want to say, of course, remind you, go to traycrouter.com, get some tickets and come see me. Please do it. I'd love to see you there. Also, you can go to patreon.com, look me up, sign up for the skews tier, get some bonus episodes, and support the show. We would appreciate it. And, yeah, so also, oh, like, subscribe, share, all that stuff.

God damn, about missed it, just got in under the wire. Wouldn't have missed it if we've been able to do comments, but we're having too much fun. we talk for too long we do that sometimes thank you all for putting up with us we verily do appreciate it and we'll be back next week with more skews see you love you bye