Weekly Skews - Weekly Skews 8/09/22 – The Raid

Episode Date: August 10, 2022

Tonight Senior Good Buddy Corey Ryan Forrester rejoins the show! He and I will be talking about, what else, THE RAID, and the almost comically insane response to it thus far. (Fret not, Smart Mark is fine and will be back next week.) Join us!Support the show

Hey, everybody. Welcome back. Happy Skues Day to you. It is August 9th, 2020. I'm Trey Crowder. And that you may have ascertained is not smart Mark. Don't worry. He's fine. He's at a taping in New York City. So back once again, senior Georgia correspondent and frequent guest host, Mr. Cory Ryan Forster, the show himself. What's up, Cho? Well, about you, Trey. Appreciate you having me. Glad to be here. I'm starting to feel like Joan Rivers on the Johnny Carson show. Like once one of y'all leaves, if I don't get this, I'm going to feel slighted. No, I know, dude. I was going to say, we're going to put you on the non-existent payroll pretty soon. I mean. Yeah. High dollar operation. We appreciate you coming through each and every time. Like I said, so I don't know if you know, and I can't, it wouldn't be proper for me to go in any real details. Also, I don't have them. But Mark, he's at this taping in New York. And the way he kept, there. describing it was he was like yeah i got to be on the ones and twos at this thing which i think he means it's some sort of like producer capacity but i keep picturing him as like an DJ and it's funny to think of mark with like one headphone on just totally stone face like dropping the base or whatever yeah goes wild and he's just like just playing the national and then

just boppa b b b bhao bhao bha yeah you motherfucker ready to get sad but yeah he's good he's fine he'll be back next week we're glad you're here everybody knows what we're going to be talking about tonight and they're correct they do tray i wanted to hit you with this real quick and i didn't give you any preparation i'm sorry about that but now every time i feel like i can get a little bit more responsibility now that i have guest hosted so many time so i have gone out of my way i did this last week or a couple weeks ago when i was on the show with mark everybody knows here that i don't know shit i don't know anything going into this taping i'll let tray tell me the news tray as always he's like my husband

He tells me what to believe, and that's how I vote. So, because of that, I had, right before we started recording, I had some looming political questions that I didn't know the answer to that I thought maybe you could give me the answer to. Oh, Lord. Probably not, but sure. Go ahead. Okay.

Number one, is Dick Cheney still alive? He is. He is. I know that because Liz Cheney put out like a campaign ad type deal in Wyoming starring Dick Cheney. and me and Mark talked about it on a Patreon episode and he looked like death. You never believe that. But like all true assholes,

we'll never die. It was sort of a trick question. I know that he's sentient, but I don't know if you'd call it alive. Yeah, he seems just as, you know, crabby and terrible as always based on what I saw. Okay, good to know.

Okay, number two, does Biden still have the same press secretary? I seem to remember a gal. Yeah, Jen Sacky. Is it not her? Is it not her? Did she leave? I don't know. I thought I haven't seen her around in a minute.

Right. Well, here's the thing. It just came to my attention. I was like, huh? She left. Okay. But it just came to my attention. I was like, man, when Trump was in, I used to hear a lot more press secretary stuff.

You know what I mean? Like he had sort of a rotating door of them. They were always having to go, okay, look, we know what he said. But what he meant was this. And I feel like, say what you will about the Biden administration, not as much spin required. You know what I mean? So that one. And last but not least, Trace, something I really need to know.

When is the next Geneva Convention? I don't know. They having those like the Olympics? Is that what they're doing? Every four years or something like that? I don't know. I mean, I felt like we might, you know, we need another convention of some kind. I agree.

Don't know what it is. Never knew. Well, actually, you know who needs fewer conventions is the CPAC people, which we're going to talk about a little bit later, they throw conventions like a motherfucker. Do you know there was another one? I have them all the time. No? Like, I thought they just had the one a year.

Hold on. No, they don't. They're like every two weeks now, evidently, and they're always very stupid. We're going to talk about one of them a little bit here later. But first, before we, again, we're going to talk about the raid and all that. Before we get into all that, I just want to ask you, like, is it just me or, like, have things the past few days been, like, sort of good? Like, what's up with that? Is the simulation broken or what?

What the fuck's going on? It seems like there's been good stuff because like I'm going to forget some. But, you know, there's like gas prices falling, record job growth, Ben Laden's successor got taken out. Alex Jones is getting wrecked in the courts. The Senate actually did stuff. And then now the big raid, it's like, I don't know what to do with myself. Universe ain't supposed to give us none of this in the 2020s. What's up?

No, it's funny you say that because I remember this morning, like I was looking at everything that was trending on Twitter. and it seemed to all hit. And I almost texted you and I was like, so do we still do the show tonight? Like, what happens? It feels like we could take the week on. Well, this is actually the second or third episode in a row, particularly if you count Patreon episodes

that have been generally positive and we're on a real hater. That never happens. What's funny is there's still abject, doom, and despair in the midst of the positivity. Don't worry, y'all. If that's what you're here for, it will arrive. Dude, if we were at the casino right now,

this would be the moment where the Asian lady comes and starts dealing. You know what I mean? That's how, that's not racism, by the way. It's just a fact. Every time we're on a heater, they switch hands and it's a nice little Asian lady. And then boom, I bust like five times in a row. That's actually what I've been thinking about is that things have been going so well that my brain immediately goes to calm before the storm. Absolutely. You know, because like we can't. It's just the universe trying to get us to drop our guard a little bit so it can come with the haymaker over the top. exactly so like I'm not getting I'm not getting excited I'm actually kind of worried yeah no I hear you but on the note of some of the good stuff so the inflation reduction act the Senate did some

stuff it's not enough but it's something and I'll take something over nothing every time but also you can tell it's at least partially good because of how much the Republicans hate it so this thing the Republicans been doing a little bit of duplicity coming from there so I don't know that's surprising but they it was found out this week that there was this clean energy group called United for Clean Power that have been sending out all these messages and PSAs and ads and stuff aimed at getting Democrats to not support this climate legislation because it's not good enough is what they say. It's like this ain't enough. Demand that they, you know, if they're not going to do it all the way, they don't do it at all. Well, turns out, never believe this. United for

Clean Power is a front for Republican dart money and they're just trying to pull the wool over everybody's eyes. So that's fun. But also, they're freaking out about the fact that there's some funding included in the Inflation Reduction Act for the IRS, like 87,000 new IRS agents, which has really got them bugging, including Ted Cruz, who put this little number together. Matt, if you've got that video for us. Demanding a full investigation of the Internal Revenue Service after officials admitted to... targeting conservative political groups, not only the Tea Party groups, get more scrutiny, but... Matt's internet, I'm hitting. How about that?

Dude, it's literally like a shot-for-shot remake of old Red Scare videos. No, I know. They've even got the, like, there's always like... The marching Nazi type shit. Yeah, exactly. Like, this looks like it would be in Captain America's Civil War. You know what I mean? Like a super on-the-nose throwback to the Red Scare video.

Propaganda of that time. Yeah, I agree completely. that's all right mad hopefully the other ones work well enough you can go and get that one down but you talk about if it ain't broke don't fix it uh theology is like they know they can always go back to just let's just do the red scare 2.0 3.0 whatever we don't have to write new material basically the structure's the same we just have to like mad libs it and instead of this person they're dead now put this person in like it's right and the thing is i feel like a whole lot of people don't like the irs likes, you know.

No, dude, fuck them. But, like, the thing is, it may not be immediately apparent. We talked on an old episode about how the IRS is, was super understaffed and underfunded. And the result of that ended up being that they oftentimes audited poor people way more than rich people in America. Imagine that. Because, like, it's way easier to audit a poor person.

So, like, it takes less resources to do so. So having more IRS agents. But you're not getting as much. So don't that cancel out? Yeah, but that wasn't, it was just like a practical. thing for them of like, we just don't got time to hold billionaires accountable for their money. And that's the point of this is that more IRS agents and more resources for them means that more rich people will be audited and it's harder to cheat on your taxes, which does not hit for

Republicans, as you not imagine. So, yeah, they're really on one. All right, moving into the show, producer Matt is with us, as you've probably figured out there. This is weekly skews. Before we go on, I do want to remind you all of not two things, but three things this week. First, of course, if you want to see me live, go to traycrouter.com. I'm on a solo stand-up tour, doing an hour or more of new material, and we're having fun with it. Got some dates coming up in September, going to be adding dates very soon, including some well-read dates, getting a ban back together.

So keep your eyes peeled. Go to traycrouter.com. Number two, if you enjoy this program and we'd like to show your support, you can do so by signing up on Patreon. $5 a month, get you full-link bonus episodes, like the one we did a few days ago on the Inflation Reduction Act. of the good stuff that's been happening. We've got plenty more in store. We'd love it. If you would support us, you can go to weekly skews.com slash more or just go on

Patreon and look me up, sign up, get some more skews in your life. And the third, special item in honor of Corey being here, as I wanted to let you know in case you're unaware, that my intrepid co-host tonight, and I have another podcast. That's right, another one called putting on airs, where we talk about fancy people, fancy culture, fancy shit. All things fancy. Tis a silly program, but it's a lot of fun. New episodes every Friday. So get it wherever you get your podcast or subscribe to the YouTube channel or both. Go to watch p.OA.com to get on that YouTube tip. Putting on airs, check it out. Okay. It's the best. Tonight, we're going to be talking about what else, the big raid, the FBI raided Trump's house in Mara Lago,

his compound down there. And the nation, particularly the right wing of it, collectively lost its damn mind. The response so far has been over-the-top bat shit even for them, and we're going to talk about it. But first, of course, we must begin with the Daily Dumbass. Matt, graphic, please. Tonight's D-D. Anyone who thought that CPAC events

were non-stop bullshit start to finish. No, no, no. Sometimes they keep it real. Matt, play this clip. ladies and gentlemen we are all domestic terrorists please welcome what it word this is just like that

J.D. Vance video where he was like are you a racist? Do you hate Mexicans? No I know it's like so I'm sure they've got it on the banner over the state We are all domestic. May I play that one more time? It just has for me. That's great.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are all domestic terrorists. Please welcome. Please welcome. So, all right. Well, I don't understand. Is it like, is that the name of the panel? It is. Who the fuck is producing this and not like, hey, guys, I don't know how this is going to play.

My assumption is that you're 100% right about the J.D. Vance thing. That it's a, like, that is what they all think of you. Yeah, right. But the tone, the delivery, everything about it, none of it suggests that. It just sounds like them just stating a fact for the record before starting. Can I pitch to you what I think our new tour should be next year at Trey Crowder and Corey Forster? We're a bunch of baby-killing coyers to see how that plays, put that on banners everywhere. Yeah, so this is at CPAC, like I told you, they got to have them all the time.

This one was in Texas, and it was wild shit. They had a keynote speaker there guy named Victor Orban, who is kind of sort of dictator of Hungary who last week said that Hungary should be all white. He said, you know, in Europe, we don't believe in mixing the races. So that's his big thing right now. So CPAC said, hey, call his agent. Get that dude on the phone. We need him on stage, baby.

But the biggest sort of headliner for CPAC, and I know you saw this, Tucker? Was no, a dude playing a January 6th rioter in a fake prison cell crying while people put on headphones that played testimony from January 6 defendants lamenting the state of their lives. So you turn it on. It's like, it was so awful. I was so mean to us. And in front of you while that's happening. They ruined my big Johnson shirt. In front of you while it's happening is this dude sitting in a cell pretending to cry

and writing sad statements on the chalkboard. Like, where is everyone? Right. This was the most popular booth at the convention. The line was out the door, which I think completely makes sense when you consider it's their persecution complex and full display. They had to be rock hard as soon as they saw this. A whole testament to like how bad they've got it and how unjustly

they've been treated so it was a big hit you were actually wrong i do know what you're talking about now but i had just seen pictures of it and i genuinely thought that it was just like a wax sculpture display thing because i saw the picture of margery with it and i was like okay it's just a thing a photo op i did not know that it was like a haunted house type shit so matt we don't have to watch the whole thing but play a little bit of the clip so you can sort of see it in action It's definitely not a sculpture. I don't know. We might be having,

wouldn't be skews without technical difficulties to tell you what. We may not be able to do the videos tonight, man. I don't know what else to say. Get busy hating Mexicans or get busy trying. Fuck, man. Look, you could see him there. He basically just cries and feels bad and everybody wanders around.

Some people threw money into the cage, Many spectators were openly weeping. Others came up and gave him words of comfort and support, you know, as though this isn't all fucking completely fake. So, yeah, it was all pretty par for the course. I know that we make jokes. Obviously, that's what we do. And we act flipping about everything. Of course, everybody knows we care.

But I would like to stop for a second and say that, and I'm not someone who gets triggered or really offended by anything just because I've been in so many green ones. rooms over the past 17 years but bro sitting here actually thinking about it and looking at them treating january 6th like it's fucking 9-11 is really insane and really like that's it's terrifying that there is a lot of people who just see that and go yep same same and i'm probably more worried right now about 2024 than I've ever been. Sorry to bring this program down. So there's another wrinkle to it. That guy, the actual dude in the in the jail cell, his name is Brandon Straka. Let me guess. He was a rioter. Yes, a conservative influencer and January 6th defendant who provided significant information to the FBI as part of a plea deal that kept him out of

jail. So this dude's a snitch who set up this whole exhibit talking about how terrible it is that these people are being held in jail, some of whom he presumably put there by ratting them out to the FBI in keeping his own ass out of jail. So you don't see a lot of, well, here's what I say. I do respect it because you don't see a lot of reenactors who were actually in the war. You know what I mean? Like that's a, that's pretty sweet. Yeah, but again, he put himself in a jail cell, which he notably did not go to because of cooperating with the FBI, which is, you know, what a piece of shit. Cardinal rule for these people.

He said, he said, basically that is their complex distilled right there, which is feeling bad and persecuted for a thing that didn't even happen to you. Right. Yeah. And the guy said, he was like, he said, there's nothing wrong with talking to the DOJ and telling them your friends are innocent. He tried to say, like, yeah, I talked to the FBI, but the whole time I was just like, those guys are rad.

The whole time we just talked about how great you guys were, and that's why they didn't make me go to jail. It's like, oh, that's not how any of that works, buddy. I was just telling him how sweet your snake flag shirt was, bro. Right. But you already mentioned your, your congresswoman there in North Georgia, Marge, Marjorie Taylor Green showed up. Got in there with him. Matt, I'm going to say it right now. We're going to try this video.

If it jacks up, we're just going to do pictures and whatnot. We can do reenactments of them. Yeah. I mean, I'll describe any of them we hadn't lined up. if they just won't play, but... Humbly pray, and do thou prince a heavenly host, by the power of God. All right, skip forward a little bit, Matt, just to see.

So, MTG is in the cell with Brandon Stryka, crying, holding him vertical. Cold in his hands, or holding his hands, crying while this dude does a crazy-ass prayer. And it's one of those things where it's like, to me, you just sort of like step back for a minute and remember like, oh, right, like, they are truly fucking nuts. Like, this shit is wild.

If this was like a scene from a dystopian show or something, it would be blood curdling, but it's real life, you know. But, all right, let's move on here. Matt Arbel mentioned for Daily Dumbass is Trump's Tirds for being snitches. I may recall. Trump's Tirds? Yeah, we covered before. There was a story from the New York Times Maggie Haberman that claimed that President Trump

would confound the White House staff by taking his documents he was given and tearing them up and putting them in the toilet and then flushing them away, which is not what you're supposed to do with those, turns out. They called it bullshit, but she has produced receipts. There's pictures here purporting to be of the toilet with the documents inside of them. So that's fun. In response to this, he called the journalist Haberman a maggot. and uh i thought that had for them so just business yeah right yeah now like like the fly baby i like that not like the red hat tight yeah right um but trump yeah a lot of trump stuff this week the man just will not go away another uh article came out outlining the war between trump and

his generals turns out that trump's generals in his office did not have just blind loyalty to him they had things like rules and standards and like principles and stuff like that none of which hit for Trump, hugely. So in one meeting, he reportedly screamed at John Kelly, quote, you fucking generals, why can't you be more like the German generals? And John Kelly said, uh, what,

which German generals? And he said, the German generals in World War II. And that's the end of the quote, but he's just like, you know, the good ones, the fucking Nazi ones, the ones who knew how to listen, the ones who knew who the man was. His name was Hitler

and they respected him and they did what the fuck he said, and that's what I'm trying to get more of around here. I love that homie was like, all right, no, hold on. Maybe he meant a different Germany, you know what I mean? Maybe it was a different war. Oh, my God. Kelly reportedly said to him, you know, they tried to kill Hitler three times and almost pulled it off, right?

Which presumably also did not have for him. The next- His soldiers tried to kill him? Hitler's did. Yeah, Project Valkyry. Tom Cruise, might move about it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The next honorable mention for Daily Dumbass is the woke left for making it so that you can't even rub one out to your buddy's wife anymore. So no video here, but the logger of the Sandy Hook families reported that Alex Jones, you know, they got a cell phone, right?

He said Alex Jones' cell phone was eat up A with dick picks, just all sorts of dick picks. He is? Yeah, of course he is. Right. Well, I don't know. You know, he likes to show his dick off. But also, nude pictures But you just take the one and then you keep it on there

forever. Sure, everybody knows that. Not him. He got a whole portfolio. He got a spread of his own dick and his phone. Also nude pictures of his wife that he sent to Roger Stone without her knowing about it. Can't do that. You know, just a top bloke, Alex Jones. That ain't it. He's having a great week too.

All right, here's the last honorable mention. and this is the one I'm most excited to talk to you about. I don't know if you've heard about it already or not. But our last honorable mention for Daily Dumbass is Cracker Barrel for thinking their customers would be okay with living longer. So Crackle, I know what this is. Cracker Barrel had a bit of a firestorm this week show when they introduced. Actually, a brief anecdote.

I was recently in rural New Jersey doing shows like three weeks ago, and there was a Cracker Barrel there, so I went to it. And I was looking at the menu, and I saw that they have impossible. sausage. And I swear to, so vegan sausage, plant-based sausage, and I swear to God, I thought to myself, I was like, holy shit. A, I did not see that coming. And B, I cannot believe I ain't heard about this shit yet. Well, like, I guess they just hadn't found out about it. It wasn't public information yet, because this past week, Cracker Barrel Faithful found out, and it did not it for them. Cracker Barrel posted about it on their Facebook page, and the faithful popped

off. The blowback was immediate and intense, hundreds of comments saying things like all the more reason to stop eating at Cracker Barrel. This is not what Cracker Barrel was all about. And I just lost respect for a once great Tennessee company. Another one. If I wanted a salad, I would in fact order a salad. Stop with the plant-based meat crap. And then finally, oh no, the Cracker Barrel has gone woke. It really is the end time. So people up in arms over this fake sausage at Cracker Barrel show. I feel betrayed. Here's the thing. If Cracker Barrel came out and said, we are no longer going to have real meat and instead we'll have this, I would be right there beside these slack-jawed yokels. You know what I mean? I would be pissed, but that is not what's happening.

And this is exactly the same logic that went down with people who got mad at other people for wearing masks. In both situations, I can understand how the inverse would be true, but not this. Such as if there was a vegan restaurant and the vegan restaurant started serving actual real sausage, I could see where the vegans would be like, well, I can't even have that touch my plate because then it's no longer vegan. Well, if you cook a vegan sausage right next to a real sausage, it doesn't make the real sausage vegan, therefore it doesn't matter. Just like I could see people that were immunocompromised going, hey, why the fuck don't you have on a mask? But it makes no sense for someone to look at someone with a mask and go, oh my God, take the fucking mask off. It's not hurting you, you dumb fuck.

The addition of something doesn't necessarily mean the subtraction of another thing. That's all I have you say. I totally agree with you, but in that vegan example you laid out, a vegan reference. restaurant starting to sell real meat, and their clientele being like, this goes against everything you stand for. Right. Well, that's how a lot of these cracker barrels, that's how they feel about this. Like they said, this ain't what cracker barrels are like, no, cracker barrels about fat

mammals. And they're right to contract diabetes, okay? And like, you can't just be, you know, you can't just be going against that type of thing with this new pansy sausage you're trying to put out here. It's so funny to me, too, because you know I told you that I grew up, like, and my grandmother was like a accidental vegetarian. Like, like, like, when she was a kid, yeah, they couldn't afford meat. So she just ate vegetables from the garden.

And so whenever I went over there for Sunday dinner, don't you're wrong, she would have meat every now and then. But like, it wasn't strange for me to just eat a vegetable plate. And so like, I don't know, there's a lot of old people that I don't, they're so for vegetables. But again, I think what it is. And it's because the Alex Jones types rile these people up so much, I've genuinely. think what it is is that they're thinking further in the future to like this is the this is how

it starts and then they're going to take away our meat because they're constantly sending pamphlets to my house saying that democrats want to take away our cheeseburger so they're definitely coming at it from a place like that yeah no doubt about it all right so let's get into a show you said earlier and matt we're going to try this video because it's very short that's why but you said earlier you're like i'm so tired of them treating january 6 like it's 9-11 well they got a a new another 9-11 now in case you missed it if you don't believe me watch this clip from fox news here this very brief one this is the worst attack on this republic in modern history period there you go yeah what's he talking about something terrible right something gets

bloated up blown blown to pieces no no he's talking of course about the monday night raid on mara lago from the fbi and that response there's pretty indicative of how they've been handling it. But first, the news was broken by Trump himself, which I find kind of funny. He took to his little newsletter and put it on true social and just let everybody know what was going on. And he was absolutely irate in the memo he put out, saying among many, many other things. This has never happened to a U.S. president ever before in history. Nothing like this has ever happened to a president of the United States. And it's like, yeah, well, you know, might be some reasons for that, you know.

Is Watergate not this? Well, Watergate. Did they go to a Nixon's house? No, no. Well, no, his house was the White House. Right, but also they weren't there, like, serving, you know, federal warrant as part of an ongoing investigation into this man's criminal activity, which I feel like is sort of the key differentiating factor here.

It's like, yeah, most of all the other presidents, they ain't. don't do that shit. Right. Like him saying this has never happened to another. Right. Him saying

this has never happened to another president is not the dunk that he thinks it is. It's like, yes, exactly. You were rare in so many ways that there's certain things

that only happen to you because, and I think you may have said this in your video, but I'd like to piggyback on it. All presidents have committed crimes. Every goddamn one of them.

Whoever your favorite one is, Them too, all right? It doesn't matter. And they just were smart about it. Smarter. Right. Just how they got elected president in the first place. But like, he just crimes out loud. Like, dumbly. He narrates. He does crime dumbly and out loud. And that's really, and prolifically. Like, he do just so many crimes. It almost seems like that was his crime strategy. Was like, I'll hit them with so many crimes. They can't possibly keep. up with just one one of the crimes, you know, because I've got so many crimes coming at them. He do love crime. This particular crime, it's speculated. As far as I'm aware of this still isn't like concretely known for sure. But the general assumption right now is that this

had to do with some classified documents that he was not supposed to have on account of he ain't supposed to have no classified documents anymore. He had a security clearance stricken in 2021, which was in itself, an uncommon move. But yeah, it supposedly has to do with classified documents. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. But, you know, there's a proper disposition for classified documents. You may recall them bitching about Hillary's, like treatment of classified documents

and classified channels. So they're pretty aware of it, I would imagine. But either way, it's like, I think when people first heard it, they, you know, they thought, like January 6th shit or whatever, and then you find out it's classified documents. he's not supposed to have, but for me, it's Al Capone tax evasion type thing. Yeah, right. You know what I mean? Where it's like, I don't give a damn, what kind of hammer you have to use, just nail that some bitch,

you know what I'm saying? Like, whatever it is. And, you know, there's only a couple reasons for him to keep whatever these documents are. They're either, like, embarrassing or compromising for him, evidence of some kind of corruption. They're definitely embarrassing. Right. I guarantee you they're embarrassing. Or they're like, you know, some way for him to profit off them or whatever.

But either way, it ain't shit that he ought to be had. But, of course, he fancies himself the victim in this. The whole family does. Eric Trump went on Fox News and tried to explain it away by saying, and we have a clammy one. We have a, uh, yeah, I mean, he that one. But, um, anyway, I mean, Matt, you could try to play it. Is it working?

No. Okay, so basically he says, is he in South Dakota right now? Is that what's happening? Who? Matt? I don't know. I think maybe. I don't know what's up. It's okay, though. He's trying his best. But little Trump there, he tried to explain away by saying, listen, my dad's always kept stuff. Like, he kept, like, he kept document. He kept like newspaper clippings, press releases. He kept cheating on mom. No, he said notes from us, the kids. And that's when I was like, okay, bullshit. I know he didn't keep that fucking stuff. They ain't know. way like dude you know it's like it's also funny to think of like the trump kids in their 30s and 40s like drawing him little picture like crayon pictures like please love me daddy pisses us holding hands

and then you know that shit went straight into the presidential shitter from a few segments ago like rip that shit up put it in there with the rest of you know the fucking reports and i ran or whatever he was flushing down the toilet eric looks like he still sits around and draws those like asses with like the six lines oh yeah man that looks like that looks like of what he's doing yeah i agree so that's how you know he's like so that's all it is it's just newspapers and stuff it's like yeah okay classified newspapers doesn't entirely check out check out trump was also pissed off because he said they even broke into my safe it's like no shit if they got a warrant right yeah they got a warrant and they're looking for crime stuff

they're not going to be like what's that a safe ah can't be in there uh try more drawers There's been a shark attack and they're looking where the people are. What the fuck is going on? So, yeah, they're really on one. And the thing is, like, Mark pointed this out in the outline and I agree with him. Like, and a lot of other people have said this too, there has to be something here or they just, there's no fucking way they would have done this. The FBI and the DOJ, like, dude, everything about how they've always operated would have told them to not do this. unless they felt very damn sure about because this type of thing just does not ever fucking.

That's why I was so blown away by is because like we just don't do this in this country to like rich, powerful white guys with connections. Like it just does not happen. Right. And also it's an FBI director appointed by Trump or Republican and all that. Like there were many, many, you know, obstacles to this happening along the way. But it got followed through on anyway. That has to surely mean something.

I mean, you would think because I saw Andrew Yang tweeted, your boy, tweeted earlier that he was like, you know, this right, this was not a good idea because this is going to be used as fuel by the right that, you know, and like, here's the deal. I do agree with him that that will happen, but you can't just make certain people immune to laws because of how it might look. We don't want to upset them. We'll fuck them. That means they get away with everything. But like you said, I think they all know that going in. Like, listen, guys, if we do this, this is going to be some shit. So for the love of God, it better be something.

So I'm with you and that I feel, you know. But also the Andrew Yang thing, and I saw other people saying that too. And I touched on that in the video, the idea that like, we shouldn't antagonize these people. This really fire them up. And I'm like, have you seen them? Like, they stayed pretty fired up, dude. That's like their default state is fired the fuck up. And, like, oh, they'll rally behind Trump because of this.

It's like, where else have they been? So the only places they ever go to is Trump rallies. Like, the idea that some of them had, like, you know, lost the fire, like they weren't passionate about Trump anymore or something. But now because of this, they're back in the game. I just don't buy. They're going to be the way they be regardless of this shit. But more importantly, like you said, if he did some shit, he should be held accountable for the shit that he did because that's how things are supposed. to work. The only people who were screaming for Trump four years ago that aren't screaming for

Trump as loudly now are on a breathing machine. And I agree that this is, again, I totally agree that this is going to make them, like you said, somehow more fervent, but like I don't understand how anyone thinks that you can operate under the system of, we don't want to upset these people, therefore let's just leave it alone. Let's just let them do whatever the fuck they want. That's insanity. That's the exact opposite of what you weren't doing it. So, uh, oh, that flag.

One other note on Trump's defense of the whole thing. So I wouldn't have known this, but, you know, law smart people have pointed out that the way this all works, Trump definitely would have been given a copy of the warrant and everything and an inventory of everything that was seized as part of the procedure. because that's like the law how that goes so like he has that so he could you know reveal that and there's only one reason for him not to do it and it's that it ain't good right like there's nothing in it that exonerates him or for him to point out and be like look how frivolous this is like if there was he'd be using it because he definitely has it but he's not so it isn't so

okay but we still are me and you on agreement that this some bitch is not going to jail, correct? I was going to, I was definitely going to ask you that before we got out of this topic, but since you've brought it up, yeah, I guess we could talk about it now before we get into the Republican response to it in detail. Yeah, dude, I don't, I mean, I've said the whole time openly, like, but again, I didn't expect anything like this to happen. That's true.

That's true. Like, at all, I was totally stunned by that, because I just don't, like I said earlier, I just expect nothing. Nothing about this country's history or my experience, live in this country or anything, especially in recent history, has led me to believe that someone like Donald Trump would actually face consequences for the shit that he did. Right. Like I just, as a general rule, we just ain't never done that. Again, I didn't think the FBI would write his house either.

But I think, I mean, no, dude. You're talking about like a jumpsuit and shackles and shit? No. It's not happening. No, I don't think so. But there could still be some measure of accountability, some actual, like, level of consequences that, you know, could amount to something. Possibly, but no, he ain't going to... He ain't going to the hoose gal.

He's about to say, for anyone just tuning in or for anyone that accidentally cherry picks things we say, I want him to go to jail. Of course. Or to go to jail. It's just that he will not go to jail, in my opinion. And I've never wanted to be wrong more about anything in my life. Right, agreed.

So, let's talk about the Republican response to the whole thing a little bit. They've been flipping the fuck out. We'll get to the mayonnaise brigade and a little bit later, like the base. So we were just talking about the red hats. But first, the pundits and the politicians, they real, real upset about this. And here's a tweet from Ron DeSantis. The raid of Mar-Lago is another escalation in the weaponization of federal agencies against the regime's political opponents, while people like Hunter Biden get treated with kid gloves.

Now the regime's getting another 87,000 IRS agents to wield against its adversaries, Banana Republic. So a few things about this, and there, Marjorie Taylor Green, defund the FBI. There's so many different things to point out here. I can't even keep up with it. And then lastly, this dude says, I think this is a wake-up call for those in Congress to be able to use the tools at their disposal to defund the FBI and prepare for a church-style commission next year if given a Republican majority to dismantle the FBI into a thousand bits.

So, you know, choose where you want to start at. First of all, the whole, like, they've been saying this thing, like, you know, you're going to regret weaponizing the FBI when we get back into power. It's like them just openly stating. It's like, you just wait, you're going to fucking throw y'all out of windows, all right? You ain't seen shit. You think this is okay? You ain't going to believe the type of gulogs we're going to build for you fucking, you know, dip shits. Like, they're just openly saying it. Then, of course, you got the people that, like, went in on Black Lives Matter protesters and activists forever about their messaging and whatnot, about defund the police.

Now they're literally screaming. We've got to defund the federal police. Yeah, right. The big police. They just have no self-awareness about it whatsoever. The Banana Republic thing, this is like a third world country. It's like, no, in third world countries, the Trump person, they just get to stay in power forever and never, or get killed by a new Trump who then stays in power forever. but what they don't do is face, you know, accountability from law enforcement or anything like that.

It's like this is the opposite of that. This is you should arrest or you should, you know, attempt to prosecute corrupt figures. It would be more corrupt and more third-worldy to have not done this. So it's just a bullshit from every angle. But it's also just it's, it's scary. Oh, and the Hunter Biden thing. They keep talking about, oh, what about Hunter Biden? It's like he is not.

He doesn't work there. He doesn't even work there. He doesn't even work there. he don't even work. He don't work there. Why would they be doing that? I would tell you this. Donald Trump is the former president. It's not the same thing as the current president's crackhead son who ain't got shit to do with the administration. It's so asinine. I don't know Hunter Biden. He could be a good dude. I have no idea. But I am willing to have him put on a block of ice and set a drift if it will get everyone to shut the fuck up. You know what I mean? I've never heard anyone be like,

Like, no, protect Hunter. It's just like, again, the response is always the same. What are you talking about? He don't even go here. Like, what are we doing? Yeah, man. But they, it seems, there seems to be this undercurrent of the whole thing, the way they're reacting to it to me, where it's like, it's like they're acknowledging or something that to them, these institutions are there to either work for or against them. Right. Do you know what I'm saying?

Yes. It's like they've got to be. It's, yeah, it's either or. It's either like they're on our side. If it's a Democratic president, they're coming for all the Republicans. Right. And if we're in power, then we're going to send them after all the Democrats because that's what they're there for.

And it's like, no, they're there to prosecute federal crimes uphold the federal law. You should know that as the party of law and order. That's nothing to us. I don't know how people don't just jump all over this shit from a campaign perspective. of like, you know, what happened to law and order and all that stuff. Right. Like, these are cops. They're just big cops.

Don't you back the blue, don't you? You just don't back this blue. But the thing is, like, their side of the fence, the voter base and everything, they just, they've already separated them in their head. You know what I mean? Like, them cops don't count. Well, we're talking about the good cops, the ones that shoot black people. Don't, them cops hit.

The cops that do this stuff, they don't have for us, so you can do whatever fuck you want. You should defund them. And they just say it all with a straight face, and it don't. don't bother them at all. Dude, they can't, they don't understand the differences between the things they're saying. I have seen, like, protest signs that, unironically said, like, keep the government out of my Medicaid. You know what I mean?

Like, I'm not, I've seen that. Like, a bunch of people just sitting there, it's like, they're wanting to do socialized medicine. How's that going to affect my Medicaid and my social security and shit? It's like, what the fuck are you talking about? So, yeah, man, I don't know. Like, I, that's, uh, them and the cops. man again it's like they only they only back the blue when the blue is I guess beating on somebody

they don't like right this is so these are the people at the top to people with like a major platform the fringe the the basement dwellers you know as it were they've really been losing it they're just openly talking them they're rallying cry reportedly right now is three words lock and load they're saying yeah call it openly calling it a war the new civil war all that shit they're talking about arming up people that track that kind of thing says it's the worst they've seen since january 5th oh my god i'm just wondering what you you know what you think about about that but where are they going to go they're going to go the pentagon i don't think that'll work out for them uh like well i'm lucky in the sense that like where i'm at i'm sort of safe i guess unless they

come from me at my point you know like i'm i'm in the bad part so it's all going to be going away from me which is good on a person which is good on a personal they're going to be all going up north and I'm just going to sit here like I'll keep the tomatoes you know what I mean so I don't know man like hearing things like it's not been this bad since January 5th like that's that's pretty rough to hear and I mean I don't know dude like as I've always thought about like you know I tell people all there's going to be another civil war and they say that with this like fervor like this excitement like yeah there's going to be another civil war and I'm like dude this civil war ain't going to go the same way that the first civil war went because the first

Civil War, everybody had the same type of shit. Everybody had the same type of guns. You know what I'm saying? There was like musket loaders. And there was, but like you're going to, if there really was a civil war and you tried to form a bunch of militias around the country to go up against the actual government dog, like that ain't, that's not going to work. And also it's like, it just wouldn't be like the last one in terms of like, here's this part and here's this part. Every single state in this country would be like here's a part of the other side right and we're in the part of our side in whatever state you're in even southern states or whatever and it'd just be an absolute fucking nightmare i keep telling myself that they're largely you know disorganized and incompetent

and also like way more bark than bite type motherfuckers you know so that's what i'm hanging my hat on right now listen matt producer matt before we get to uh before we go into comments and stuff i did want to try to watch those last two videos they're short hopefully we can get through them, start with the Marsha Blackburn one, because I have something I want to say about that. Love her. Oh, always. She's a frequent contributor to the skews. But yeah, this was this was her take on the whole situation. If we can get it go and. Questions that we justifiably have. And we want answers because if the FBI can do this to President Donald Trump, they can do it to you. And the American people know.

All right. So, like, as long as you committed. Exactly. It's like, that's true. They can. They've always been able to do that on account of they're the FBI. Matter of fact, it's wilder that they're being able to do it to him. Usually they would just be able to do it to you always. Exactly. And there's also, there's this like underpinning of their rhetoric about it that's like, it feels to me like they're. Mad because they're basically saying to like the Democrats at the top, it's like, listen, guys, you know, we've always had this tacit agreement that like, we all going to be doing crimes and breaking laws and stuff. And nothing is ever going to happen. And it's always been that way.

It's always supposed to. But now, y'all are acting like that act. We can't do crimes. We can't do crimes anymore. And I just want you know as soon as we get in, we're going to get you for all your crimes too. And most Democrats are like, we stop doing crimes, you know, or whatever. What the fuck? When did that happen? I thought we were all doing crimes. It's like it's like they just assume like we've all got crimes. And I hope you know now you can be punished for your crimes before. We never could. So I hope you're happy. And it's like we as the Republicans used to never come at Democrats for any of the crimes that they did or that we made up about them. But now gloves are off, motherfucker. It's kind of like the like the thing with some conversations I've had with some hardcore Christians before.

And I know me and you have talked about this where they're like, they'll say something like, you know, without the Bible, how are you supposed to, what's to stop you from murdering somebody or molesting children or whatever? It's like, I just don't want to. Don't want to do that? Are you saying that you want to do that, but you don't? You read that book. It's like, most of us just don't want to do that. It's a similar type of thing with the way they're talking about this and the FBI. It's like, I'm not all that worried about the FBI.

personally, because I'm not doing federal crimes. Which, this is the same group of people that is constantly like, well, if you can't do the crime, don't do the time. Whenever, like, they show a clip of, like, some, you know, inner city mother who got caught selling a little bag of weed and now she's going to be ripped away from her family. They're like, well, I mean, that wouldn't happen to me because I don't commit crimes. Well, fucking same same, you son of a bitch. You know what I'm saying?

I'm not worried about this because I don't take confidential documents and dump them in my poop bowl. Amen, brother. All right. Last video, then we'll get some comments. This is sort of similar to the CPAC video

we opened with. Every now and then, they do get it right, though. Play it, Matt. I just want to say in closing, listen, America, they're laughing at you. The left thinks this is hilarious.

If you doubt me, just go to any of their goofy platforms, Twitter or else who are right now, they think this is hilarious. You know what? Yeah. Yes, Dan. Yeah, sure it do.

Mr. Bongino, I think this is quite humor. Well, and also terrifying, but yes, I'm laughing at y'all for sure. Right. Yeah, this is one of those goofy platforms, and it is indeed hilarious. That's why they do combine, like, abject terror with, like, comical lunacy in a very fascinating way. You know what I mean? Because, like, they are so easy to laugh at so often, but then you sort of stop and remember, like, oh, right. they believe this shit they'll kill us all yeah yeah it's like you it's like you said with that clip of

those dudes praying and stuff like me and you as godless heathens want to look at that and laugh and i'm like but you have to understand like those are the people like they believe that shit dog and there's a lot of them that believe that shit and you cannot coming from someone who grew up in a religious background when you have people that are religious committed to something you literally can't tell them shit i mean because and because One of the fundamentals that they're taught early is, by the way, a lot of people are going to be saying a whole bunch of stuff to you that makes sense. You got to ignore that, all right? That's the devil, right?

And they take those same little tips and drills and they put them into this, and now it's, I'm telling you, dude, like, you just, you can't, you can't do it. No, all right, Matt, get some comments up there if you can, if the technical stuff isn't fucking us too much. And Heather L. Ramsey on Facebook says, yep it's pretty funny yeah can't deny that it's funny christie van hoff says accurate as fuck yeah agreed an enemy and then an enemy anemone i like that name despite my uh tongues level of incompetence our goofy platforms says the guy who uses truth social should i've been meaning to ask you about that should we get on truth social and just start some shit like would that even would that be possible? It had occurred to me to when Parlor was a thing or any of those, like to maybe get

on there and fuck around with it and hoping to get some material or content out of it or something. You'll get shared hate-wise. Well, here's the thing. Yeah, I sort of did that with Fox News for a while. I started doing like reaction videos to Fox News. And the one thing that I found was like more than anything, it just upset me. Right. Do you know what I mean? Like, I thought it'd be. funny ripping. I was ripping on them and everything, but it was just like, it's hard. Harming my soul after a while. Also, like, dude, you know, the free speech warriors over there on true social, they will ban, hammer your ass immediately for not following the crowd. Like, that is for damn sure. Well, maybe we should. Yeah, right. Dustin Anderson just said, they'll ban you

on truth. Well, maybe we should. They put, they have no tolerance for, you know, anything other than the stuff that they're all saying already. Maybe we should start one and, like, pretend like we're like them and then, like, troll in the reverse way. You know what I mean? And then just, like, read what we do on our podcast. Right. Yeah, like, like, do it satirically or something. Yeah, like catfish them, but make it seem real.

Right. Yeah. Yeah, I could get into that. Let's add another social media to the ones I already hate using. Sure. Fannie lip shit says, yes, get on true social. Fuck with them. Yeah.

Why? I nominate the show here. to take the first foray into doing that. You've got a little, well, I don't want to out you, but I guess I'm going to me. No, go ahead. Go ahead. I know what you're going to say. You've got a little bit of experience with that, but it's a much more benign, harmless version of it. But Corey has gotten accidentally put onto a group chat, a group text chain with a bunch of old Southern church ladies, and they do not know that he's not one of them because he's been responding to the text and playing along with them for what?

A couple weeks now or something like that? It's actually been months, so it's been months overall, and I thought I was like that one group stopped texting me. So what I assumed happened was they were like, they went to Becky and was like, hey, Becky, you said he's going to bring the macaroni because I kept, they was asking me to do stuff. And I'd be like, oh, yeah, girl, of course, I'll bring the macaroni to the place. And do y'all want pimentos in it this time or what? And they just like, no, I don't know about that. And so I figured that they finally showed up and the lady hadn't done the things that she said she was going to. And they were like, oh, that's not my number anymore.

And I think that happened into one, but a random new person just texting me the other day, and I was like, oh, shit, it's back. And so I started texting her some wild stuff, and I was screenshot them and sending them to you, and I was like, I don't know if I should go this far. And then I would, and she would just respond back with like, girl, I hear you. That's how them young and's on her. So I'm back, baby. It's also, but I feel like in the first scenario you laid out, like, oh, you said I'll bring the potato salad. Then they get there and Becky, who they think you are, she don't have the potato salad. Yeah.

And you're like, so I get, you know, figured out. But I feel like them type of ladies, they wouldn't say anything to her face. But then all the rest of them get to go to that bitch. You keep up with that bitch, Becky, didn't burn any potatoes out. And she said, she was going to. So, like, you've just ostracized Becky from this group of church. Like, she's a woman who is not friends. She has no idea what's happened.

They all just hate her now. Remind me next week on the podcast, I want to read the text exchange that we did with them. But yeah, dude, it's been great. And I don't ever want it to end. Julie wine and reason says old southern church ladies L.O.L. I mean, is the food good? Because y'all know the food's good. I guarantee you the food is good. Although I bet your potato salad would head harder than real Becky's potato salad. I agree. And like, I remember

when I was a kid at church and they would do the covered dish thing, which by the way, in hindsight, I would, ugh, I don't know what's in these people's kitchens. As my sister would always say, what if they had cats on the table? But it was, it was either fire. It was either absolute fire or someone literally just, or it was just like someone made mashed potatoes and they literally just

mashed up potatoes in a bowl. Didn't put no salt, didn't put no pepper, no butter, no nothing. Yeah, or weird. And there was definitely some. Like raisins and mac and cheese or some kind of shit like that out of nowhere. And there would be some where like there was a couple ladies there that like they definitely like, you know, they

just come to church and they just have doodoo on their back, you know what I mean? Because they was old and they couldn't wipe right and stuff. And so My mama, we'd always sit down and she's like, okay, you can't get the one in the green bowl. You can't get the one into that because that's Miss Sally's, and she sometimes has doodoo on her back. You know what I mean? Old doodoo back, Katie, or whatever name, yeah.

Ruby Laguna says, oh, no, still all their casserole recipes before your cover gets blown, Corey. My casserole hits harder than theirs, guarantee it. Yeah. So that's, you change your phone number. And apparently your new phone number maybe used to be Becky's number or it's one number off or something like that. So that's how you got roped into this thing. But it's the same area where you live. It's not the same area of code where I live.

I have a 4-2-3 cell phone because that's Chattanooga and that's where the cell phone comes from. So it's a Tennessee group of, ostensibly. Actually, I know because they mentioned the church. And I'm not going to say it out loud because, again, if somebody is in here and here. But like they mentioned the church. and I was like, oh, yeah, it's up here North Chattanooga or whatever, so, yeah. Kim Cousato says, post your casserole recipe, Corey. Just pour a bunch of Campbell soup in a thing, put crackers on it, and bake the sunbits.

There you go. There you go. Yeah, Campbell soup. Those trash casseroles. Oh, my God. Trash casseroles, baby. They're what's up. Say what you will. Me and my sister was high the other night, and we was talking about why casseroles,

trash casseroles are so good. And she was like, man, you know, it's like the, chicken soup is just like, it's just like a rue, you know? So like, you're just getting a rue that you don't have to like rue. And I was like, oh, word, that's true. And it is, it does hit. I've been known to eat a can of condensed soup without actually cooking it. Yeah, I can see that.

That's all right. A dip crackers in it. Yeah, it's just sort of like chicken yogurt. Chicken yogurt. Unchilled chicken yogurt. Yeah, I could get down with that for sure. I made me a big beef pot roast And I'm going to go

Just smash here in a minute Yeah You like chicken yogurt. Get your chicken yogurt, boy I love chicken yogurt I'll never think of it as anything other than Chicken yogurt from that one I mean that's what it is I know it is chicken yogurt dude

And it hits so hard Just dip the some bitch and crackers I know Listen we're about to get out of here But Cho like tell people about stuff If you yeah Hey I have a publication It's at Corey writes for you.com.

It's a newsletter slash blog, but I also put videos and audio stories and stuff up there. You can subscribe for free, but you can also subscribe for $5 a month at cory rightsfor you.com, and you get bonus stuff. But if you can't afford the $5 a month, just email me at buttercream corey at gmail.com, and I will comp you, no questions asked, because I know how hard it is out there. Once again, that's cori writes for you.com. All right, and again, if you want some goofy shit from the two of us, watch or listen to putting on airs every Friday.

It's a great time. And sign up on the Patreon for skews. Get some bonus skews episodes, support the show. Go to Trey Crowder.com and check out my tour dates. Again, we'll be adding more very soon. And come and see me, come and see us when we do well-read shows, which there are more coming. And do all that. I appreciate y'all being here.

I love you like chicken. I'll be back with Smart Mart next week. Corey Ryan Forrester, everybody. Thank you. So you love you, bye. Somebody said, I love you like chicken yogurt.