Weekly Skews - Weekly Skews 8/10/21 – INFRASTRUCT-SURE

Episode Date: August 11, 2021

Tonight we cover the big bipartisan infrastructure bill that passed the Senate today. They did a thing! Which we contrast with the actions of governors in FL and TX, who seem to be focused mostly on doing things that lead to death. Also a brief Cuomo update and plenty of good dummies. Support the show

Howdy y'all, welcome back. Happy Skews Day. Today's August 10th, 2021. I'm Trey Crowder, and that's Mark Aegee. What's up, Mark? What's up, Trey? We did it, man. We took down Cuomo. We fucking, uh, mission accomplished banner dropping behind me.

Yeah, that's due to us, man. We covered it last week. We said, hey, he needs to resign, I think. us and the president, but mostly us, said that. Yeah. And the next thing you know, only a week later, he resigns. Only a week later, it comes out, like it has a lot of given hour-long presentation where she literally says, and I'm quoting verbatim, he did not mean to group her.

Then Cuomo gets up there and does his, I'm just a man from a different time. A more Italian time. Yeah, more Italian time. I'm from the bottom of being born and raised. I am but a simple meatball American. Yeah. So he gave himself two weeks. Like, I don't know what's going to do in two weeks.

But, yeah, so he was resigning in two weeks. Yeah. Good riddance, buddy. And we did it. Yeah. But we got some other housekeeping, right? We need to let people know about something. Yeah.

It must be complained about misinformation. Disinformation. We did somebody. We did some ago weeks ago. We did the disinforming. Yeah. The video from a shop steward for the Frito-Lay plant turned out to be a comedy video from a guy who's very funny. You got his name, right?

Shut him out. Very funny. Yeah. His actual name is apparently James Bates and he goes by The Real Spark online. But he's a very funny guy who fooled us into thinking he was a union steward from, I think, Missouri at the time. or Alabama, one of the two, something like that. Yeah. Yeah, but he tricked us, but then he tricked the world, Mark, after that.

When the Frontier Airlines thing happened, we're another, the second person got duct taped to a plane seat in like as many weeks, because that's the timeline we all live in, people just getting duct taped to plane seats and shit. The second time that happened with the affluenza kid bragging about his parents' money and shit, But this guy, who is a comedian, went viral for saying he was a flight attendant. And a lot of people were like, is this a real fly?

I can't really tell the difference here. So it wasn't just us, but we did do that. We got fooled by that guy because of how good he is. You're fucking great job, Mr. Bates. You're fantastic. And that's when we learned we had gotten fooled because, like, we're not geniuses, but we did see that and go, like, is that guy both a flight attendant and a union shopstress? too.

I got, I'll see that. But I did like the getting today's uptake to a seed story because it's like, we know doctors and nurses are fed up right now, but holy shit. I think flight attention is for a close second. They're fucking done, man. Yeah. But this is a good reminder. And like, we're, I mean, all you can do when you get got like that is to be like,

oh shit. Like, you know, my bad. Because like, we're all constantly getting fool of the internet. So much internet stuff on the internet's fake. And I was, uh, speaking of which I saw it's fascinating. story. This kid got convicted a couple years ago for vehicular manslaughter in Tampa, I think Tampa, for street racing and a crosswalk. And that doesn't really bearing on the news right now, but this mysterious just happened. It's a worldwide TikTok trend and it stops happening

on Twitter where a bunch of random people that appear to be bots are advocating for him to be freed. And no one really knows why. His lawyer swears, they're not funding it. It's a lot of it's coming out of Saudi. And it doesn't make any goddamn sense. way the internet's fucking fake and yeah. Right. I'm starting to feel like the internet has its own like whims that are separate from the people

and or bots that you know, ostensibly pilot it at all times. You know what I mean? Like you just can't account for the internet's whims at any given time. And there's a good chance that it's going to be some bullshit whatever its whims are

onto. Part of it's organic, but there was a thing to happen with the TikTok algorithm a couple months ago decided this kid he said he sent out a birthday invite to his school the hashtag like some kickback for nick's kickback or whatever whatever his kid's name is and the algorithm decided that was worldwide news and pushed it wide like a hundred thousand kids showed this kid's birthday party basically him a meme and there were riots in san an monica then they had a they had a spin-off party in his honor in seattle it caused another regret the internet just has its own stuff but also it's like like cynical actors like manipulating it so yeah i don't know

Yeah, well, thanks for joining us on the internet, everybody. Let's get into our internet. It's like the conspiracy theorist who thinks you're a Jewish actor or pretend to be a redneck to manipulate. Yes, yes. That's my favorite conspiracy theory about myself. I've read that I'm a Jewish actor from New York planted by the Obama administration because it's how long ago it was

to spread propaganda amongst the rural populace. Anyway, I'm not saying it's not true, but, you know. So that's Mark. I'm Trey with as always as producer, Matt. I want to remind you all that I'm doing live shows again. I'll be in Denver, Colorado next weekend, August 19th through the 21st, at the world famous Comedy Works, one of the best clubs in the country. You go to Well Red, that's well, R-E-D, well-read comedy.com for tickets and information.

I sure would appreciate seeing you out there. Also, quick note, let y'all know, and y'all know how we are with technology and things of that nature on the show. I'm going to attempt to leave us some comments and stuff. You guys are already doing it. I'm going to attempt to put some comments out there before we

get to the part at the end. Because we like doing the engagement. Doing the engagement. That's what the kids call it. We're going to do the engagement. I'm going to try to put some more comments up as we go. I'm attempting that for the first time while producer Matt handles the videos and stuff. So we

will see. But as for the show tonight, make a wish, y'all. The U.S. Senate did a thing. That's right. The big bipartisan infrastructure bill passed. We're going to talk about it. It's great. Is it good enough? Well, as for me in this nightmarish hellscape in which we live, I'll take what I can get. Speaking of hellscape, Florida, making news, there's a particularly Governor Ron DeSantis as well as Texas Governor Greg Abbott, both of whom seem hell bent, on ensuring the maximum amount possible of their constituents contract coronavirus, especially the children. All that more on tonight's skews, but first, as always, we begin with the Daily Dumbass.

Matt, graphic, please. Tonight's D.D. God for playing whack-a-mole with the devil. What am I talking about? Something so silly it could only have originated with my pillow CEO, Mike Lendale, who had this to say during his big cyber festival that he had today. Play the clip, Mike. God let this happen. Why didn't God bring me? this stuff forward at the why did he let this happen and i said well let me tell you i said you're in this spiritual battle of good and evil and we've now think what's happened since the election if

if we went to caught this if we wanted to caught this and all these things happened all the things were going through um you would have you know it wouldn't have revealed all the evil the evil is revealing itself it's just amazing it's popping up all over like like pocket gopers popping up their heads. So there you go. You get pocket gopher's popping up their heads. And that's why God didn't prevent the stealing of the election. You guys follow it.

You understand what he's saying. Yeah. God had to let make Trump lose the election so you would know that Trump was the rightful president. So that the devil's pocket gophers would emerge periodically to illustrate the truth of the devil's reaching his grand plan. God had to do that or else you wouldn't know. Yeah, I get it.

It's like, you know, it's like boxing, right? If you're up, if you won the first round, the first matchup, you have to lose the second one to set up the tiebreaker final match so you all get the biggest payday, right? So God had to take a dive against the devil. So 2024 will be the rubber match, right? Where God takes on the devil and presumably doesn't take a dive is the hope. but the uh so his cyber symposium that actually is a clip from steve bannan show from a couple days ago but his big cyber cyber uh whatever symposium was today and a couple big things happened

and at one his plane was late because the deep state he literally said that he said it was mysterious that his plane was late uh which is like i fly a decent about deep state doesn't have to get involved for that but so i mean okay so uh play that this first video we're going to play is him showing lockstep proof that uh trump won minnesota all right you know lose and the uh what do we what do we have up here we okay we're gonna wait for them all you all want to do it today all right it says look at how much they took it by how much you know they really want i think this one they really wanted to get like so they're going you know what i proud because i promised the president we're going to take mine i said sir

you're 100% we're getting it and I'll tell you what that was two days before the election here's the real truth look at that Donald Trump takes the state of Minnesota Donald Trump

won the state of Minnesota and we already did New Hampshire there's two states you wouldn't have thought of right because they condition well how can you argue with that Mark I mean you clearly see you can see on the data that was presented, that really Minnesota was different than what we thought it was.

And it's all right there. He laid it out for you. For those you all listening to the podcast, all he did was change the numbers on the screen and changed the color of the state on the map. Yes. I already, there's no like, and here's how they did it. There's no like, here's how we know these real numbers. It's just, boom, I changed the numbers.

No sources. I could have done that in like MS paint in 2003. You know what I mean? And I'm terrible with this shit. I think you did make that slide with the 2000 version of MS paint. It doesn't, yeah, it doesn't, I can't even, it's not even a real argument there. This is just a very sad, lonely, fucking crazy guy who's dwindling away his own whole fortune on this weird bullshit. He can't follow his own thoughts.

It's, uh, yeah, man, somebody's, well, listen, if he's long, if he's lonely, I don't have a solution, Trey. We got to, we got to put Britney Spears' father in charge of his company. Yeah, there you go. That would be good. Two problems. Yeah. I got another solution for you. If he's lonely, Luke Simichek, a viewer from YouTube, said earlier,

he wants to do DMT with Mike Lindale. And I feel like Mike Lindell would be down with that. So, Mike, you and Luke hook up, you know, patrol the stars together. I hope that works out okay for Luke. It's going to be some pretty wild shit, I would imagine. But, uh... Can I come? I love DMT.

Yeah, fantastic. All right. Our first honorable mention for Daily Dumbass, Uber, for not hating their drivers enough. That's right. There's big advances being made in the field of hating your drivers if you own any kind of ride service company. If you don't believe me, check out Yo! Yo cars. I don't remember what's called. It's Yo something in Pacific Missouri, who's got a pretty interesting policy where drivers are concerned. Matt, you can play this clip, please.

Charlie Bullington is adding new rules for passengers riding with his company. no masks or vaccinated riders allowed. We don't allow any type of masks in our vehicles. The second one, we're very against the vaccines, and we do not wish to have people in our vehicle that did the vaccines. A requirement, Bullington asks before he even picks passengers up. One man took to Facebook saying he was told he couldn't get a ride to the airport because he's vaccinated.

I understand that the state of Missouri is one of the top three lowest vaccinated states, I'm proud of all the Missouri people for standing against us. Yeah. Way to go, Missouri. Yeah. Is there like a way we can just mark off one state and be like, if you don't want to live in a society, go to this place? Like, you know, it's like, I don't know what to do.

Listen, I, I hear you. A, I know you're doing a bit and B, I hear you. But, dude, I'm from Tennessee, man. And I just can't, like, we would have. have to, but we would have to be near the top of that list based on recent events. And we'll have some Tennesseans showing up as we moved throughout the show tonight. But, yeah, I hear you. I mean, Missouri's been on some bullshit lately, but I don't know that it's all the fault of,

or well, it's not every Missouran's fault that yo transportation will not allow you to ride in their, what was that, a key of soul? What was that? I don't know. But it was pink. That's an interesting choice. Did you think about that, both the name and the car itself, the color scheme, I felt like were interesting choices for that dude.

This like white Missouri boomer who believes COVID is a hoax and hates mask and everything, he goes with pink or fuchsia, whatever the fuck that is, and, and yo transportation. I just felt like, I felt like that came out of nowhere a little bit. the name of MTV's flagship rap show from the 80s. Yeah, I mean, you're right. I didn't think about it that way, but yeah, he's aping two other two things

he didn't invent gay culture and black culture to... And two things I would assume he's not a huge fan of. It's like, yeah, I don't know what this guy's going for. It almost seems like this guy might be crazy. Yeah, I mean, at least there's no toxic masculinity involved with his COVID-denying. Right. But Lyft's thing used to be pink mustaches, right? So he's even stealing, like, from Steve Lips Mojo.

I remember the cars that pink mustaches? I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. Yes, no, you're right. That was, I feel like Lyft came out right towards the end of mustaches being like the bacon of facial hair. Do you know what I mean? Or it's like shirts with mustaches on them and hats and shit and mustaches were everywhere. And Lyft came out right at that time. So they had to, uh, they had to put a mustache on their cars.

Derek Duke says, magenta. Thank you, Derek. I'm color dumb. I'm, listen. You know. What colors I do see, I'm dumb about, you know what I mean? So I'm color dumb, so I appreciate that, buddy. Thank you.

Derek, I don't see color when it comes to cars. I'm just more than you, I guess. Sorry, buddy. We just see neutral. We just see a stupid-ass neutral car that won't let responsible people ride in it to the airport. All right. How do you prove you're not vaccinated? I know.

It's proving a negative. That's the whole thing with these people. I think it's just like, I don't know, dude. can tell you know you show up without a mask pissed off generally you know what I mean like they believe you like you've got you've got multiple flag tattoos you know what I mean you're wearing an eagle shirt that's how you prove you don't have a vaccine you haven't had the vaccine yeah all right our first honorable mention uh or I'm sorry our second honorable mention for Daily Dumbass. Anybody who goes to the stupid-ass doctor instead just drinking their own piss?

What am I talking about? Well, this guy was right back. I said Tennessee was going to show up multiple times. This is mild stop of grounds. Knoxville, Tennessee, where a candidate for the Knoxville City Council has taken some interesting stances on the subject of public health. We've got some screen grabs. Yes, here they are. Her name's Elizabeth Murphy. She believes that the health department should be dissolved, just so y'all know. She's campaigning in favor of that. I assume because they're trying to stop COVID from killing people and that don't have for her. But so she believes the health department should be dissolved separately also, but very much related. She believes that pissing on yourself and your baby and pissing in your ears is what's up, Mark.

This is what's up. Here's Elizabeth Murphy on her Facebook page. I've used urine therapy for an ear infection, pink eye, and insomnia. Somebody uses she put piss in her own eye to cure her pink eye. I'm wondering if the extra case did, yeah. She responds this woman, how's it cured insomnia? How? She says, our urine is not waste, but excess. This includes hormones.

There's a website called Aquarius the Water Bear. There's many books on urine therapy available online in PDF format. Check it out. So do not trust the CDC. Do trust a website called Aquarius the water barrier. So, okay, I want to ask you something about that. Show my own prejudices here, okay? I feel like all the wild-ass crazy people are starting to sort of come together as one.

And that's dangerous for the rest of us. And the reason I say that is because I would have told you, hell, not even years, a few months ago probably, I would have told you that someone who quotes... Aquarius the water bearer as a source for the benefits of piss therapy was like a, you know, a California crystal person, like a, meaning like a super lefty lunatic is what I would have thought. But this lady is like on the other side of things in Knoxville, Tennessee. And it's like, it, I want to say that the lines are being blurred, but it feels really like what's happening is just like all the different types of crazy are finding each other or something. You know what I'm like? They're coalescing their harmful disbeliefs into one big amalgamation of bullshit that's going to fuck us all up in the future.

Yeah. I'm just wondering what you think about that. Yeah, I mean, we talked a lot last year about, like, Q&A was basically just forming like emerging all the conspiracy theories into like one cinematic universe where it's all kind of interconnected. And whether your thing is lizards or flat earth or big pharma is trying to kill you, which is semi-true and all these other stuff. Sure, you're welcome.

Everybody come in. We've got an answer for all that. All that's, it's all the same, right? And other, like most researchers about fascism would tell you that a lot of things fascist believe are like conflicting what what fascism frees you from is having to think logically at all or to believe anything or remember anything you can say one thing one minute another thing next minute you're welcome um as long as you as long as you support the leader you can do whatever you want so that's that's sort of what's happening here is like as long as you love trump you can be a hippie

you can be a gun nut you can run for city council on anti crt you can whatever your thing is buddy it's a big tent it's a big tent you're welcome we're welcome in it um that that lady uh she She's a bit fascinating. I watched the interview with her. She reads insane and she has opinions about regular stuff like bond issues and stuff. And they're like, okay, maybe that'll work. But she's anti-vaccin. The Facebook thread was really funny because their next post in it was like,

I'm happy to chat about urine anytime. And then after arguing with a few more people, I know what matters a screen grab, but she says that Jesus drank is on urine. How does she know that? Because he stayed alive in the desert for 40 days with no water. And what else you're going to do? Not like he's a miracle.

worker you know he's got to do something practical am i right the whole point is he has magic superpowers right yeah if he just drank his own piss like a regular dumbass he didn't do anything special right bear grills is the messiah you know that's all it takes yeah uh hobie heninger the third says probably got the pink eye from having her head stuck up her dot dot dot i'll say it but that's what you meant hobie her butt had her head stuck up her on a butt her own butt, because that's apparently where pink eye comes from. Yeah. But stuff on the face.

Fecal matter in your eye, yeah. Yeah, fecal matter in your eye. Okay, let's see here. What are we going to do? Let's move into, I want to, let's briefly cover another NFL dumbass. Actually, we are all the dumb ass. The rest of us are all the dumb ass for not realizing we could just skip the vaccines and stuff and choose to live life as a David Blaine trick.

Matt, play the clip if you have it, which I hope. you don't. I'm going to be vigilant about avoiding a close contact. I've even thought about should I just set up literally plexiglass around where I sit so that this could never happen again. I thought about it because I'm going to do whatever it takes. All right. So I know we don't have a lot of, yeah, instead of the vaccine, we have a lot of sports people, which is fine. That's the quarterback of the Minnesota Vikings, Kurt Cousins, who has been vocally opposed to getting the vaccine. And this is him. outlining the other steps which he could take to protect himself, I guess, which is enclosing himself in a plexiglass box. He's apparently thought about that. Instead of just getting the goddamn shot, we talked, wasn't it last week or the week before we talked about how like, just having to show up to work early every day and get a separate test every day that other people don't have to. That alone would make me get the shot if I didn't want to. You know what I mean?

But this is, they are willing to build glass boxes around themselves to not do this, uh, this helpful thing that every reputable expert on earth says they should do. Trey, uh, because of union rules, uh, we, uh, we have a, my job, I have a shoot on Monday. And, uh, because the union rules, even though I'm vaccinated, even though we wear masks and goggles on set, I have to go get a COVID test on Saturday. I just have to take two hours on a weekday, drive half an hour each way to get a nasal swab,

even though I'm vaccinated. If you told me I didn't have to do that, I will get three more vaccine doses. For sure. Absolutely. Yeah. I don't understand. It's just like life is so much easier if you just fucking follow.

It's like I understand cutting corners and cheating if it saves you time and effort. I don't understand cheating and lying. People are selling fake vaccine cards for $400. The shot itself is free. You're paying $400 to not get a free shot. It's also, and this isn't my thought. I saw someone else tweet about this earlier, but like those same people that are spending all this money

to get these fake COVID vaccine passports or whatever are the same people that, you know, shit on immigrants for, you know, any of the loopholes they take. or whatever to try to pursue a better life. Do you know what I mean? Like any of that type of shit, they're like, that's fundamentally immoral. And then they go out of their way to spend all this extra money

to not protect the health and safety of their community members and the general human rights. If you buy a social security number, yeah, you're cheating the system. But also you're doing it with a goal in mind is to get a job, to pay taxes, to make money. You can send back some back to your family in Guatemala or Mexico or whatever. this you're paying money to cheat the system to fuck yourself. I don't understand it.

It's beyond bizarre. And we don't have to show the clip if you don't want to. But in case you're wondering, Kirk Cousin's dad is in fact a mega minister. He's one of those guys who uses his pulpit to preach about critical race theory and Black Lives Matter, which is a good use of church time. Yeah.

Whole family crazy, Trey. Whole family crazy. It's funny how it be that way, Mark. Whole family crazy, it do be that way. Mm-hmm. Um, that's my big takeaway from it. Okay, let's talk about the big, some, uh, at least somewhat good news, right? Like I said, up top the Senate did a thing.

The big Biden administration bipartisan infrastructure bill passed the Senate today with how many votes, Mark? 69. That's right. Nice. 69. 69 votes. Good number of votes.

Uh, but no, obviously we'll talk, we'll get in some details and, and whatnot about it. But I just like, I don't know. Like, I'm like, just trying to find the bright side and any possible opportunity, like I said, up top with the hell the hellscape we live in, you know. But I'm just glad to see something that would seem to me to be pretty common sense actually being commonly supported and happening. You know, I know there's a lot more to be done, but I'm still, I feel pretty good about this. How you feel about this? it's one of both i mean i feel mixed feelings about it because it's one of those things like two things can be true right this is the most progressive bill probably of my lifetime it's a

democrat's letting go of austerity spending which is good it's a huge chunk of money going towards a lot of good projects but also it's like it can be the best one of the best bills passed in my lifetime and also not nearly enough because we're just so far behind you know right yeah Like when a past, it was simultaneously the most progressive piece of legislation to pass since the LBJ and also fucking sucked. You know, so like it's like I don't know what to do with that. So, so kind of on that note, and I'm sorry if I'm sort of skipping ahead a little bit, but this bill passed the Senate. It's got to go through the House and it might have some trouble in the House because Pelosi is saying we want the Senate to commit on voting on this larger bill, which would do a lot more. Right. And so I'm wondering where you stand on that sort of tactic. They're still going to vote on it eventually, right? Like, it's not like it's going to, like, that's going to be the thing that crushes it. But holding it up to try to push more shit through, that's further aggression, which we are generally for, right? Like, that's what you got to do if I can.

Yeah, I don't know a good read the house. Yeah. I read one explainer. I'm not really sure because you've got like a bunch of moderates in the house who were like, you know, in the pockets of various interests. group who various interest groups who are scared about losing their swing districts next year who probably want to fight for something different or smaller but then you the progressive caucus is big enough to kill the bill so like the squad and their allies Pelosi needs their votes so if they don't get more promises on the green new green new deal elements of this stuff and you know child care and all that shit it's uh it might not you might not be able to pass this so they have they have real leverage and they should use it you know it's like they should

should get the, even if, like, so Bernie's going to mark up or propose a three and a half $300 bill. If they knock it down a 2.2, uh, Joe Manchin gets to go back and say, I saved a billion dollars out of that communist Bernie bill. He's a break about $2.2 billion is still a fucking huge bill. So like it could be one of those things where everybody wins. Yeah. Uh, yeah. Joe comments the 19th Republican to vote yes was like, well, now I have to. which is funny to me. They had 68. The next guy was like, well, come on.

I can't not. We've got to get 69 up there. If it was Madison, if Madison, if, if, if Madison Cawthorne was in the Senate, that definitely would have happened. Yeah, yeah. But, uh, you want to know, like, the arguments against it because the stuff in it's very, it's like we're building roads and bridges. We're trying to help make energy cheaper.

This is a broadly popular stuff. It's very simple stuff that, you know, functioning government will be doing anyway. So the arguments against it have been really hilarious. here's a Louisiana senator and blank on his name right now the guy that sounds like a cartoon alligator here's argument against it if you look up stupid stuff

in the dictionary there's a picture of this bill is that true Mark Bill killed motherfucker that bill is never passing now wait can we verify that can we look up stupid stuff Also, like, I don't think you can look up stupid stuff in the dictionary.

You could look up stupid and stuff, but I don't know if you can look up stupid stuff in a regular old dictionary. And I'm skeptical, for one, as to whether or not it would actually show a picture of this bill if you were able to do that. Maybe that's just me. But I don't buy it. I mean, I remember that being like a joke. Like, it was like a joke from the 80s. Yes, I know. Yeah.

No, but it's like, it's so funny that resulting in the stuff I, like, there was played out when I was in fifth grade. to be like, you look up ugly in a dictionary is a picture of you. It's like, okay. Right. Well, dude, there's a Robert Downey Jr. Val Kilmer movie written and directed by Shane Black from like 2003 or something like that called Kiss Kiss, Kiss, Bang, and there's a joke in that that goes,

if you look up the word idiot in the dictionary, you'll find the definition of the word idiot, which you fucking are. So I'm saying, they're like taking the piss out of that cliche almost 20 years ago. You know what I mean? Yeah. And this guy's still using it unironically. But yeah. But I guess we've got to just kill this bill now, like you said, because it's stupid stuff. They're so rusty. They used to, like, when they actually, when Democrats used to

try to pass stuff, they would, they were, the Republicans had this Muslim memory. Like, you just go through the line item. You find something that sounds stupid like 20 grand for fly food research or whatever. And you make that the face of the whole bill and then slam it over and over again. And Democrats just want to, like, spend all this money on fruit flies. And it's like, it's like, science is crazy, but scientific research is good. I don't know what I tell you, man. But they don't even have that.

Like, here's another Tennesseean, Trace Home State Senator Bill Haggerty. He tried a couple different. You've discussed a 27-800-page bill that was put before us. Yeah, that's twice the size of King James Bible. Six days to review that. And then on. Well, then throw it out. can't have laws been longer than the Bible

but bills are you ever seen a bill written out like it's printed like quadruple it's like the margins are like four inches on either side and it's quadruple space right down the middle it's like leaves room to write on the margins so you can mark the bill up right so like yes it's a lot of pages

but there's like 12 words per page also don't they all have like rooms and rooms of staffers or whatnot, whose whole job it should be to, you know, make sure they understand all this, to read through all the fine details and give them the high points and whatnot, which I realize that has its own problems, but I'm just saying in terms of making it the excuse, we couldn't possibly read through this in that amount of time. It's just fully bullshit, but that's what we do.

We export bullshit from the great state of Tennessee lately. Yes, I've talked a lot about Marshall Blackburn, how much she sucks. our governor he also sucks his name's bill lee and then you got bill haggerty marshes uh compatriot in in the senate and he's not all that much better it's just a fucking nightmare circus coming out of my home state lately but yeah you said there's uh he had a couple arguments for why this bill's bad right we got another yeah we got it you got another one map play if you got it this is going to empower secretary transportation pete budage to determine uh how racist the system is and how

he's going to fix it. This bill is going to let that gay man call us racist because of bridges or whatever the fuck and I don't like it. Like, what? The Department of Transportation is going to be dicted. What is this supposed to mean, Mark? Like, how's this supposed to work? I think it means Interstate 95 is not going to be known as the Bill Haggerty is a cracker freeway.

I think that's what this bill enables Pete Buttigieg to just go around willy-nilly deciding if things are racist, just like with a magic wand, just like erasing and adding bridges. No, white people can't go on bridges anymore. There's a troll. If you can't answer riddles that proves you have at least 16% Cherokee blood, you cannot cross the road. I don't even know. Some of the stuff is like, what the fuck is it even? right well it's because it's because they have to the ones that are going to oppose it they're only opposing it opposing it because it originates with the democrats right and they have to find some ludicrous reason to oppose it because as as is proved by the fact that it's truly bipartisan this is something that pretty much every single person actually would want at the end of the day right like there's no there aren't very many valid criticisms for the heart of what the bill is. Most people in this country, whichever side you're on, want our infrastructure

to be improved and acknowledge that it needs to be. So all they can do is say it's longer than the Bible and it's going to let these guys call you racist or whatever the fuck Bill Haggerty's doing out here because what other cards do they have? I was just thinking about it and like when you talk about how rusted they are, I'm assuming there's language of the bill is as a certain amount of the highway funding. It goes to private contractor says to go to minority in businesses. maybe that's what he's talking about. But how are you supposed to get that from that clip? Right.

You know, it's just like, oh, God, it's so silly. It's just like, yeah. So kind of on that note, I'm sorry if I'm jumping the gun here, Mark, but Bemarella from YouTube says Tennessee is going to see kids getting sick because we're talking about how shitty Tennessee's politicians are. But that actually leads pretty nicely into the other thing we're going to talk about, which is all the other states that are trying to get kids sick and not just kids, but everybody else too.

Texas and Florida have been all over the news lately for seemingly actively legislating the contracting of COVID, right? Like Ron DeSantis and Greg Abbott, the governors of those two states, Florida and Texas respectively, are just going out of their way to make it hard to not get COVID, it seems like. Yeah. So DeSantis has both both governors forbade mask mandates in schools, right as the school year is about to start. And just a reminder, kids under 12 can't get vaccinated. Right. Which is like, so because it would be anti-American, right, to force people to do something with the government, the government can't force you to do something. So I'm going to use my government.

to force these smaller governments to not be able to do that, right? Yeah. Like, it's still a big, it's the bigger government making, like, it's the state's rights crowd, fucking forcing the local municipal governments to do what they say because they say it, which is just inherently hypocritical, which I know, hard to believe, inherently hypocritical coming from them, but it's just so fucking ridiculous. Yeah. DeSantis authorized a State Department of Education to withholds from school board members, superintendents, who ignore him and require masks. I imagine something they're going to do it anyway out of principle because they care more about kids' lives than a few weeks. Well, that's what's happening in Texas. There are like stories coming out yesterday and today about school boards in some of the city, Austin and Dallas and some of the cities.

Because they have the same law because of Greg Abbott. They have the same law in Texas. And some of these city school boards are doing exactly what you just said and saying, well, fuck that law. We're going to do it anyway because there's a goddamn plague going on. We're living in a pandemic. And we are the shepherds of these children's livelihood. There's safety.

So fuck your stupid law. We're going to do it anyway. And it's, you know, controversial. I keep wondering where this ends for Abbott. because his problem is he's being primaried from the right. We talked about this a couple weeks ago when the Democrats fled to D.C. But he's been primary from the right because he's a rhino. He looks weak because he actually did some COVID stuff at the beginning of the pandemic, right?

And so he has like four people running against him all from the right. So he's trying to look real tough right now. But he just got the middle finger from two of the state's biggest school districts. So he can't take that laying down. Like, so I don't know if this ends with those supermenists getting arrested. And I think a lot of the other, I think a lot of the other Texas City's school boards are already talking about doing the same thing. Like, it's like Domino's starting to fall, I think, in the big urban centers in Texas where they're basically going to tell the governor to go fuck himself, which they should, as far as I'm concerned. But yeah.

Because they're in this, they see these teachers and meetings who want to catch COVID from the kids. They see, they have to, they have to go to school board meetings and listen. to parents talk about their kids being on ventilators. It's like these aren't abstractions to them. There's people on the ground who have to deal with actual problems. So I just, I don't know like it's you'd think if I'm Greg Abbott's political advisor

I'm saying to like, hey the lane here since you have four people running to out crazy you is not to try to outcraze them is to pivot and be the sane responsible one and I hope 51% or plurality of Republicans in the state. Let's say it's 30% recognize sane reasonableness when they see it.

So I don't think it's going to happen that way. but yeah and they also keep doing it and i brought this up before but i'm going to bring it up again it's also it's just wild to me that they keep because both of them have done this and other politicians from their respective states keep doing this like tag cruz where they're trying to like spin it into an immigration problem like that really what's happening with covid is all these immigrants are coming over the border which biden is leaving wide open and they're bringing the COVID up here. And that's why it's such a problem. And just them doing this while making it illegal to combat the virus is just so audacious to me, but they're doing it with a straight

face. And yeah, it's like how can you say that it's Joe Biden's fault for killing you all with this COVID, but also it's not real and you don't have to wear a mask? How the fuck can you say both those things at the same time? It doesn't make it doesn't make any sense. It's only real if it comes from illegal Mexican immigrants, in which case it's real and it's a very serious danger. And they're coming up here because Joe Biden won't stop it. But outside of that, don't worry about it. No reason. You know, wearing a mask or getting a vaccine would be an infringement upon your personal liberties as an American or whatnot.

Again, unless it's the Mexicans bringing it, in which case we got to do something about that. To be, so to be, I don't even want to start a sentence as way, but to be fair to DeSantis, uh, the, uh, Florida has a deal. decent vaccine uptake rate, so it's not even clear totally that there are a lot of external factors like this is Florida's be inside crowded around people season because it's hot and it's air conditioning, right? So there's environmental factors contributing to their boom, a booming outbreak. But I want you to look at this map.

If you get that map, Matt, throw it up because it shows how fuck, look, look how red the whole Gulf Coast is right here. But the funniest part, you see Nebraska? Nobody in Nebraska has COVID That's clearly just alive Clearly The few hot spots are like Democrat cities So you have a couple accurate numbers

From Democrat-run cities The show cap COVID And then just all this fucking rural area Would Nebraska thanks they're slick, buddy Nebraska just crushing it that's all that it's just like why are we talking about what the fuck has happened in Nebraska they cured corn buddy corn is the secret

turns out all these scientists seem to be looking into corn because that's how you keep from getting COVID we gotta get the whole country on a diet of breakfast mayonnaise because it's fucking kicking ass SLO food and travel just Kim Chase says they stopped reporting cases in Nebraska they admit it on their website

so I guess maybe me and Mark being a little too harsh. I guess they openly admit that they're doing that, which, I mean, frankly, that does make it different. SLO Food and Travel says, corn can't get COVID. So, yeah, see, some people see the truth. All right. Yeah.

It comes down to the corn. So, listen, I'm going to be looking through the comments and stuff over here. Y'all hit me with whatever. Mark has another lunatic update for us, I believe, right? Yeah. So one of my, one of my, uh, the most fascinating mega dumbasses to me is a guy by name of Patrick Byrne. All right.

Patrick Byrne, just a few years ago, life was going great. He's like on his way to being a billionaire. He's the founder of Overstock.com. He was a CEO. He'd been there for 20 years. And then what happened was he ended up having sex with a Russian spy. But accident, maybe. It's not really clear.

She seemed like they seemed to have been into it. So anyway, he's ended up this law. He got to serve this lawsuit today. And this is, this is about the means you can be in actual lawsuit. The first sentence of it goes, after blowing up his career at Overstock by having an affair or the Russian spy. Patrick Byrne soon found himself a new pet project

promoting the false narrative that the 2020 election had been stolen. Now, that's about as close to as mean as we are on this show you can get to being in a fucking lawsuit. Yeah. But this guy, so he,

according to him, him, he's just mind of his own business and he meets this redhead, half his age at a party. He's just made Maria Butina, the same one is in jail for 18 months for like funding all that money to the NRA, right?

and not registering as a foreign spy. So he meets her party, and according to him, he has no interest in this redhead half his age. Instead, but the FBI comes to him and says, please, sir, please sleep with this woman. We need to do it for your country. So what are you going to do, Mark? He starts having a fair with Maria Butina.

And then when his story comes out, he's asked to resign. He turns hardcore MAGA. he says that the deep state was behind since the deep state was behind his downfall and the downfall of his love Maria Boutina they must also be behind the downfall of President Trump and he's become one of the leading the leading financier behind the Arizona audit

which is one of the reasons dominion is suiting but listen to the seek can you imagine like how do you bumble fuck your life up this badly he was chief this in the sequence of events chief executive overstock.com had a fair of the Russian spy Maria Boutina who was convicted and deported. After that he was,

was fired. Then he came to believe what Tina was framed by a deep state conspiracy. Then he got heavy to Trump his conspiracy theories. Started giving interviews to the likes of Glenn Beck and lo and behold, find himself in the White House as a presidential strategist. Jesus, like, that happened in two years. Yeah. Just like,

force gumping yourself into the dumbest situations happening in the late 20 teens. Just fucking, just Jesus crazy. Yeah. Mark, you've got a little correction here. I know in the interest of journalistic integrity, I have to share it with you. Jessica Marie says, excuse me, Mark, we don't eat mayonnaise for breakfast in Nebraska.

We eat ranch sauce. Thank you very much. So keep it straight, Mark. For the record, I have had plenty of mayonnaise on scrambled egg sandwiches. This is not a judgment call. Yeah, it's good. I'll do mayonnaise with anything. My dad used to eat mayonnaise and grape jelly sandwiches, which is surprisingly good.

Yeah, I don't know that one. but I believe it, because I know your dad was sort of a bit of a, like, hitter. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Man could just get you a feral cat like that. You need a feral cat by this afternoon? He'll get you two, three, whatever.

No, no, I'm saying something that they have no idea what I'm talking about. So my sister had a mouse problem in her barn, and my dad was like, you need a cat. And my sister goes, I have a cat. He goes, no, no, no. you need a cat so he leaves and comes back a couple hours later he hongs the horn tells my sister to get in the house and then he pops the trunk and this kid this email cat comes screaming out of the trunk they never saw the cat again but all the mice were gone so if I could they got a cat yeah that's a real cat baby uh my cat is just more of a fancy cat she just sits

around being fat and just staring at us with contempt which is what we like I don't know that I should have put this up here but I'm dead anyway Joshua key says Trey Crowder, can you please just require vaccines to attend your shows just to piss people off in the state you're performing? It's a win-win publicity to America. I'm genuinely going to look into whether or not I could do that. I don't know if that's up to me or the venue itself, but I've been saying online only come if you're vaccinated. Like, we are very much, we want people to be vaccinated who come. So I'm on board with that. But I will look into like literally requiring it. But I just don't know in each different state how, like the mechanisms that go into actually proving it.

I trust the people that come to my shows, you know, and I trust that they're all vaccinated. That is the only people I want there, unless you just can't help it for some legitimate reason or whatnot. But, but, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I think maybe the reason they're asking is Jason Isbel had a cancel a show today because a venue in Houston refused to require a back. Or maybe it might be because it might be because the law, like the governor's orders and stuff, they can't require. We have a vaccine to get in the show, but either way, he had to cancel a show in Houston. So I have a feeling it depends on. I mean, I'm not, I'm not going to lie to y'all.

It's a bit of a nightmare logistically right now, obviously, like trying to do the right thing, but still trying to have shows and have a good time and whatnot. And it's different everywhere, because it's everywhere so, so different. And some places are maniacal and some places are saying, and you just don't know, but we're trying to do, trying to do the best we can. I've got some other people saying that, oh, some of them. I said that's a lame excuse. It's not an excuse, Catherine.

I'm going to, I just hadn't actually attempted to do it, but I will. I'm not saying I won't do it. But I'm also saying, like, you, if you've been to my shows, dude, I don't, listen, I'm not Jason Isbell. There's, like, people coming to my shows know what's up for the most part. Yeah. I mean, like, look, these things, you can only, you can only, you can only, you can only, you can only,

you can negotiate what you can get, right? Like, you can't, like, we're not the most powerful people in the world, and Trey's also got to feed his kids. So, yes, that too. And also, if there's one given venue that's like, no, I'm not going to go through the process of requiring vaccines when I know for a fact that the huge majority of people that will actually be there will be vaccinated, I know they will because I've done shows for long enough and I know y'all and I know these people, I'm not going to fuck all them over.

you know, by canceling the whole show or whatnot just because we can't have it written in stone like this. You know what I mean? Like, I'm just, it's like I said, I don't know. I know who y'all are. I know who the people are coming to my shows and I'm not worried about us and I haven't been the whole time and I'm still not. So that's pretty much where I stand on it. Yeah. I mean, you could like, you could put the venue in a tough spot and make them mad, but that's like none that's going to affect the attention.

tenants. Plus, also, people have them wear masks. Yes, we can. I want, I want to do all this. It, like, yeah, see, this is my fault. Here we go. Vinyl, uh, well, God damn it. Hang on a second. Vinyl floor says, I vaccinated my cock. So here you go. We've got some, some responsible people out here doing it. Most people doesn't cut it. I don't know why I'm putting these up here, Mark. This is, I'm the one, I'm the one picking these and putting them up there. I'm just back painting myself into a corner. I just don't know how else to do it better other than Matt is laughing at me in the comments for putting my own comments up here. You know what?

God damn it, if you don't respect this, then you can get the hell out. I'm fucking, I'm the one choosing. This isn't producer Matt doing it. I'm putting these critical comments. up here and trying to respond to them poorly, but I'm still, you know, I'm still doing it. I'm airing all this laundry.

Y'all could say it. I'm doing my goddamn best, okay? I think, I think we're pretty clear here that we'd love everyone to get vaccinated. I don't think that's enough, but like, I think some of you guys think

Trey is more powerful than he is. I'm not trying to insult Trey. I just think, if personally, if I was on tour, and I was demanding venues do anything, they would tell me to fuck off and die. So, yeah,

well, that and also, I'm just not going to, I'm not going to die on that hill to keep what I know for a fact to be a very small percentage of people that would come to my show anyway from being able

to come because they refuse to get vaccinated. I know that to be true and so I'm just not going to fucking like I'm not going to get a whole goddamn show canceled because I won't require vaccines when I know that

huge percentage y'all come and are going to be vaccinated anyway. I would require vaccines tomorrow if I could. Mark, oh my God, please help me, Mark. I'm sorry. What have I done to myself? There's no, there's no, you're not, I mean, look, we all have, we all snap our fingers and have everything you fix tomorrow, but I don't think you do, taking some sort of big stand would accomplish anything. But also like, you're literally known, more people know you as a liberal redneck than know your name, right? So like, anybody comes to your show. That's what I'm saying. I don't yeah it's like I don't they're they're like

if anybody who's not who's willfully unvaccinated would come to Trey's show would be someone someone's liberal cousin drag a mouth to try to get him to change their mind right so in any given show you've got a small percentage of people that might be like that right and if I contact the venue and I'm like hey we got to require every single person to be vaccinated and the venue says well we're not going to do that and now I got to cancel the whole show

the 90 plus percent of people or more who I knew that were going to be vaccinated because those are people who come see me now none of us have shit to do none of us have a show to go to or to do or whatever

because of that and that's just that's what I'm weighing out and I'm not going to do that if I was a fucking rock band and I didn't know where the preponderance of my fucking

fan base stood on this shit I genuinely believe it would be different but I'm not a rock band and I do know that and I think that makes a fucking difference. I think that that makes it a different scenario. One of the reasons, one of the reasons you want to be as famous and successful as Jason is

bulls, because you can say no to stuff. You don't want to do it. Right. It's like a lot of us don't have as many options to say no to stuff. And also like, there are things that make a difference and things that don't make a difference. This reminds me of like my wife has a friend who has descended into being a bit of an anti-vaxxer. And she has spent days of her life arguing with this woman and it's like i have to be like why are you like changing one person's mind isn't going to right the problem is the problem is is is a large it's law of large numbers problem it's not changing one person's buying problem you know i just i don't know what difference you know shanty pants for the wind says stop talking five minutes ago that's buddy that's the advice i get

i should get every day let me tell you i run out that same problem all the time is this my wife's account. I didn't know she was on here. All right. So let me see if we guys... Katie, who's watching the kids? Yeah. Fuck, Mark, some people were asking, because we did, I won't, because I have seen a lot of

people ask because I guess they weren't here when we very first started the show. People won't know what you think about Cuomo. We did address the fact that he resigned, but we addressed it quickly because we talked about him in depth last week. But a lot of people have been asking about it, so you want to circle back to that while I try to find something else. So if you want to know how I feel about Cuomo and how I think you should feel about Cuomo,

you should look up the, straight up on Liz Smith, who was one of his top political advisors. She wanted to do by Pete Buttigieg, LIS Smith. She used to work for a group. I'm trying to find the name of the group right now. The name of it doesn't matter. It was a state organization,

independent democratic conference, right? So what she and Cuomo conspired to do was to get a bunch of New York Senate Democrats to caucus with the Republicans so the Democrats would not have control of the state legislature. So Andrew Cuomo will be able to hold back progressive goals and keep taxes being raised on the wealthy. Cuomo is one of the most cynical, power-hungry people in American politics, and the world's better off if he goes and does anything else. He missed on COVID horribly, and because he lied about it, a bunch managed to parlay. it into a $4 million book deal. He made $4 million by killing a bunch of people in nursing homes. And he can burn in hell for all I care.

Sure. And I'm 100% with you on that. The only thing I'll add to it, which we covered last week, is just that, like, this is another example of there isn't a double standard where we are concerned with this type of shit as far as, like, you know, like Matt Gates is still out here doing it and he's fine. And that's what always happens. And when something like this comes up, the commenters on the right immediately start saying like, look, see, they're fine with it when it happens over there. But like, but that that's not the case.

Like, that's not ever how it plays out in my recollection, you know, I mean, Al Franken's still gone. And this is another example of that. We were saying last week, like, yeah, he, fuck him, he got to go. Like you were saying, like, he wasn't that great to begin with. But even if he was, man, like, he got to go. you know that's just all there is to it and it just doesn't happen on there there is a double standard but it's not in this direction can a double standard even be in one direction but you know what i'm saying um we actually have a standard i think for accountability on the left

generally more so than they do yeah i mean i still i still see people saying they doing what aboutism stuff we're like Cuomo shouldn't resign because desantis is the worst governor and Trump molested more people and the worst stuff. I don't care about it. Those people exist, but I don't think that's the like general narrative that has come out from

the left since all this Cuomo shit happened. And it's certainly not how I feel about it. A few times when I posted fucking stuff about how Cuomo sucks. I get people argue with me and my mentions about as a Democrat, as a little Democrat, I support Andrew Cuomo. It's like, ah, shut the fuck up. I don't care. Like it's like what

I remember the beginning of the pandemic, complain about Trump mishandling stuff and people would be like, but China lies. Like I don't vote for the Chinese Communist Party. I don't have any saying what they knew in their country. I don't like that's that's going back to the COVID conversation we were just having, there's stuff you can control and stuff make a difference and stuff you that's totally out of control and makes no difference. And we have a real hard time separating those things.

I don't live in Matt Gates's district. I don't have anything to do with him. I do support left wing political party that was that it installed Andrew Cuomo at his fucking figurehead in one of 50 states. So, like, speak out on that, you know, I don't know what to do about the rest of it. But the, another problem of Cuomo illustrates is, like, in single-party state, run states like New York and California and Texas and Alabama and whatever, like, you end up a lot of people putting that letters next to their name that don't reflect their actual beliefs in any way, shape, reform.

If Andrew Cuomo was in Florida, he'd be a Republican. He doesn't have any left-of-centered beliefs. He just wants power. And you see this. And in California, we were Democrats run everything. But the Los Angeles City Council is run by ideological Republicans. They're cosmopolitan Republicans. They don't have any problem with you being gay.

Right. They still want to push out all the homeless and develop as much property as possible and push out renters. Yeah, not pay taxes as much as possible and all that type of shit. Yeah. Yeah. Well, here's a nice comment, Mark, from Technologic 21. Good show tonight, dudes. Also, just want everybody know, I will, uh, I'm a,

keep doing this comment thing and I won't always make it about me. You did make it about you as a narcissist, but also you picked all the most hateful comments. I know. And that's so that is such an insight into how I be looking at the internet and so many, there's so many

great comments over here and I just I see the negative ones. I'm like, I got throw that, I got throw that up there and argue with that person for fucking 90 seconds. But it'll get better. So if you guys, if you guys know it's a very familiar comment very familiar comedian thing it's a well-known I joke that like if you're 300 people in the crowd 299 I'm laughing you'll you'll just be staring at the one who isn't yes very much but I will get but

thank you thank you Matt I'm also on tour or everybody come on and no come get COVID at Trey Palooza all right god damn it Mark all right but yeah come see me Delta. Please go save me. Well, God damn it. Wellredcomedy.com. I just want to live.

That's all. Thank you all very much. We appreciate it. We'll be back in seven days. And it'll be fun. Yeah. It will be. I still love you.

All, God damn. See you. Bye.