Weekly Skews - Weekly Skews 9/06/22 – How Ranked Choice Voting Baked Alaska

Episode Date: September 7, 2022

Tonight we’re talking about fishin’. Salmon fishin’ in Alaska’s congressional election, and how their own plan to do ranked choice voting has driven Alaska Republicans crazy. Plus, Dr. Oz continues to suck and melt down, and how Brett Favre is caught up in one of the dumbest political scandals in America’s history of really dumb political scandals. Trae’s on the road, so Corey sits in again on tonight’s Skews, can’t wait. Join us.Support the show

Howdy, skewers, I'm trying to do my best tray. I'm not going to do the voice this time, but Trey always says howdy, so I thought we should start the show with a howdy. Trey's on the road tonight, so I'm joined by our Georgia correspondent, Corey Ryan Forrester. What's going on, Corey? Hey, Mark, how are you? That was a wonderful tray. It did sound dumb indeed. Does he do howdy?

He does. He starts to show with how he had it. I don't actually pay attention to what stuff he says at the beginning of the show, so I'm probably going to fuck it up. All the different plugs and whatnot. With Trey, you know that if he starts talking, you've got at least three and a half to four minutes that you can finish a group, Chad, check your fantasy football lineup, do whatever you got to do. And then come back in and just go, yes, Trey, you're right. You're brilliant. You're the voice of a generation. And he'll be like, he did hear me. That's awesome. Yeah. So we got to. We've got a really fun show. Trey is good at talking.

He likes doing it. Tonight we're talking about, we've got a good show. We're talking about fishing, specifically how ranked choice voting has made politics in Alaska kind of more sane while it's true in Republicans insane

because they made salmon fishing, the most salient issue in the congressional election, and it's because fishing hits for people in Alaska. We're also talking about how Dr. Oz continues to fuck up and fuck around and how Brett Farve is caught up in one of the dumbest political scandals ever heard of, and it's going to be a lot of fun to talk about.

Before we get the show... It's going to break my heart. It's going to break my heart. I know it's one of your favorites. Also, the million-dollar man, Ted DiBiasey's got up in this. Well, I have a story about him, actually. I can't wait to share it. Oh, yeah.

We'll do that. We'll wait to get there then. Before we get to the show, a brief update of recurring character, one of Trace's favorites, because he's a proof of nominative determinism. Cooie Griffin, our favorite coup doer, who's a guy who got himself... Wait, wait, wait, what? His name is Pooey Griffin. Yeah, he's a head of Cowboys for Trump in New Mexico.

He's also a county commissioner in Otero County. We talked about him recently because he refused to certify the results of a Democrat, of a primary election because they used to. He just got removed from off a day by judge who basically said he officially ruled the gender sex was an insurrection, which no one has done legally before. and because the clause in the 13th Amendment, I believe, Section 3th or 14th Amendment, sorry, says if you try to go through the government, you can't hold office. So that's a good call. Yeah. He just got out of jail.

He served his time for January 6th. But when I was looking into this, something I missed in early 2021, he's a former street preacher, by the way, which I didn't know, which I don't know how you have a street preacher in New Mexico. Yeah, no kidding. But he was banned from entering the Mescalero Apache Reservation because the Apaches said him storming the capital didn't hit for him. So he's already banned from half his jurisdiction. To be a street preacher, like I've seen so many absolute god-awful dipshit preachers who like have a really nice building and stuff that they figured out. So if you are relegated to only doing it on the street level, I mean, that's pretty right. stuff.

Yeah. It shouldn't be that hard to find four walls to preach in a place with real estate as affordable as New Mexico. But, so yeah,

Kui, bye Kui, fuck off, go away. Just like, I agree with you. I agree with the Apaches. You're not welcome on my house either.

So, Corey, oh, we're supposed to shout out Nancy Fraser sent us that Kui Griffin story. She's a long time. Oh, thank you,

Nancy. I know Nancy. Yeah. I've been fascinated for a while, Corey by a billionaires do doomsday prepping you know how they are all building like these like the panic rooms and stuff well we're talking about full on underground bunkers with like bowling alleys and swimming pools because they're building yeah uh they're their favorite

places to do this or new zealand and i think maybe alaska is a close second now because they can't figure out whether they want to be on an island where the poorest can't swim to or okay you're saying rich dudes from america buy a place in new zealand. or are you saying that this is an epidemic amongst the rich of New Zealand? No. We're talking American tech billionaires mostly. Who have destroyed society in their heads and are like, I've got to get the fuck out of here.

The pores are going to, pores or climate change or a biological attack is going to kill me. And I don't want to die because I'm a billionaire and my life hits. So I got to get out of here, right? I'm not against panic rooms and like doomsday prepping in the sense of like every time I ever hear about one of these dudes' rooms that they build, I'm like, that would be sweet. I mean, I wouldn't want to build it for paranoid reasons, but I've, you know, I've been to the built more. I could get with having a bowling alley in my house, but like, not because I think

that, you know, Robert Kennedy's coming back to life or something and is going to, like, take all the Mexicans and storm the capital again, whatever their newest thing is. That would just hit for me. Yeah. Yeah. So, but I've always wondered, though, So you take your private jet from New Zealand, right? What's the next step in your plan? It's got to be to execute your jet pilot, right? Because you're not going to, like, feed your jet pilot. You can't have that working class guy.

Yeah. It's like who built the Batcave. You know what I mean? Like, Bruce Wayne had to kill some migrant workers. Like, otherwise there's people that know he's Batman. Yeah. So we got this, so during the Cold War, the government built this in my hometown. I can blank with the name over right now.

They said it was for communication, like in an event of a nuclear war. So all the rednecks they had built this underground concrete bunkers. The FBI made them sign in, like swore him to secrecy and signed NDAs. But these guys, no one kept this fucking secret. Anyway, the government abandoned it a few years ago, and now some guy just lives there. He bought it. He lives in the underground bunkers. But so, anyway, so the jet pilot question, because like, that's going to be an awkward ride

because the jet pilot knows you've got to kill him as soon as you lay it, right? Of course. So he's got to figure out how to put. autopilot on and kill you while you're in mid-air so he can take over your compound. So I thought maybe I'm just being paranoid, but even more paranoid than these guys are, except I read this article this week. Apparently, the billionaires have been game planning this scenario. Really? Like what you're saying? Yeah. So I read this interview with this guy who's like a futurist who does like TED talks. These billionaires paid him to come talk to them. And basically we wanted to ask

him questions about how to solve this. This guy, so the CEO of a brokerage house explained that he it nearly completed building his own underground bunker system and asked, quote, how do I maintain authority over my security force after the event? Now, the event is like whatever in society. The apocadics, yeah. Yeah, and that's pretty much all they wanted to talk about because they said they knew the armed guards would be acquired to protect their compounds from raiders as well as angry mobs.

One already secured a dozen Navy SEALs to make their way to his compound if you gave them the right cue. But how would he pay the guards once his crypto was worthless? Oh, my God. What would stop the guards from eventually choosing their own leader? Good question. The Baylor is considered using special combination locks and food supply that only they knew or making guards were disciplinary collars of some kind of return for their own survival.

Like a dog, like a shotgun collar? Navy SEALs were exploding. A dog collars exploded if you don't follow the billionaire's commands. And the guy was like, so the guy, he was like, he tried to make the same pro-social argument spot, but I hadn't handled the Navy SEALs would also stop the destruction of society and stuff. Like you should be nice to them now on the front end. You should make friends with the Navy Seals. You should be civil to them and pay them well.

And they're like, no, that sounds like some hippie bullshit. I've got to figure out what a dog dollar thing. It's also, too, if you took this guy and you hear this whole plan and you're like, okay, yes. Or all of y'all that can afford to do this could get together and put your massive, opulent amount of wealth to stopping climate change and they would be like that sounds way too complicated

we can't do that yeah you're exploiting dog colleagues Mark before we oh do you have more on this yeah just one last thing so um so the interview one guy actually thought

one of these billioners actually thought through he formed a compound with teaching people actual survival skills like you can you're in charge of farming you learn first aid you learn how to fix the windmill or whatever whatever, right? But he also was worried about porous coming to take his shit. Of course.

And he said, honestly, I'm less concerned about gangs with guns than the woman at the end of the driveway holding a baby and asking for food. He paused and sighed, I don't want to be in that moral dilemma. You fucks just pay your taxes, build a school to a hospital and stop climate change. This won't happen. Yes, yes, a true passenger train moral dilemma that one was, Jesus. Yeah. All right, so go ahead. You know, you know, Corey does a bit about stuff in the news and I don't know what's coming.

Yeah, yeah, I don't know anything. Everybody knows that. Yet y'all continue to have me on this show where I think the gimmick is that you all know everything. Or at least that's what it seems like. That's the way I just, I just go by how Trey acts all the time. You know what I mean? And, yeah, I don't know what's going on. So I always like to have three questions that you can fill me in on.

I would like to begin with this one. They are in order of what I think is the most pressing. Is Mad Dog Mattis still alive? Yes, he's still alive. I think after Trump, Matt, nice work, Matt. After he left the Trump administration, he resumed his board seat on a defense contractor and wrote a book about how he's a big hero. I would not mind reading that book because I have to assume that he buries Trump a lot

it on account of like maybe i mean he like he was trump when this dude came out it was like oh my god i mean say what you will but trump trump knows how to pick him to appeal to the base i mean this guy's name is mad dog mattis he's like a he's a civil war veteran or whatever it was that he was in and then uh that was my first clue that maybe trump wasn't a good president was when that guy was like you know what i'm out of here uh so yeah he uh He's a, yeah, he's a big Marine Corps hero, still revered by them. He also has one of the coolest, I'm going to call it. I think he says it all the time, so it's kind of like a slogan or cashphrase.

It's like, be polite, be professional, have a plan to kill everyone you meet. I got rules. Come on. I'm glad he's still alive. I'm going to read that book. I hope he writes another one. All right. What does a whip do?

Like a majority whip and conquers? Yeah. I think I know, but I'm not. 100% sure. There's a lot of things that I think I know and then I'll bring it up to you and you're like, Corey, you didn't know even a little bit. And so I'll just worry out. What is a whip? They're like at a legislative sense, a muscle for the leaders. They go around and count votes and try to urge people to vote with the majority to be like, you give us this or we'll punish you or we'll hold withhold funds or we'll support your bill when it comes up, that kind of thing. So they count votes. In a bipartisan way? Does both sides have a whip? Both sides are their own whip. So it would be like, so it would be like Nancy Pelosi's whip

would go around and be like, you better vote with fucking Nancy or we're gonna like, we'll make your life miserable. Do you know who the, who like our whip is? Does anybody know? Or is it like a...

Okay, right on. Last, certainly not least. Matter of fact, the thing that I'm the most curious about, Ukraine? Yes, it's last. It's not getting a lot of coverage right now. And I feel like it was the hot new.

It was like COVID 2.0. Like we were hearing all about it, this Zelenskyy guy. He's crazy. He's funny. He's sexy. He's nice. He's the anti- Putin. I hadn't heard much about the Ukraine mark.

Excuse me. I haven't heard much about Ukraine, Mark. Yeah. And I need to know. I know. I didn't mean to. I need to know is that because things are going well? Or is that because,

things are going slowly so they're kind of like that ukraines push russia back to the all way to the eastern front which the the two russian was basically been happening since 2014 and uh they're kind of settling into like not trench warfare because it doesn't exist anymore but just exchanging artillery in the front lines of it russia occupied a nuclear facility which is a nightmare scenario for a lot of people because you know you're noble was yeah right and uh but nothing nothing nuclear has happened yet and and uh and nothing nuclear's happened yet, but you should not be fighting in and around a nuclear facility, so that's bad.

But basically, Ukraine's feeling pressured to mount an offensive to keep Western enthusiasm and attention, and it might do it too soon, which could be a fuck-up, but they are pushing back and having success, and, you know, they have, Russia keeps getting smacked in areas. They didn't know Ukraine could reach, which is kind of funny. Hilarious. Yeah, Russia's also had, like, run out of musicians, is trying to buy some from North Korea. So when you're buying weapons from North Korea, they'd think your shit's not going well.

Yeah, well, because I like, I remember like three or four months ago, you had sent me like a couple texts or tweets or videos on Reddit or whatever of like these Russian some bitches having to like Fred Flintstone their tanks because they ran out of gas and stuff. And I was like, well, I mean, surely this will be over soon if they're Fred Flintstone and their tanks, but apparently still going on, huh? Well, yeah, they've also, Russian troops have stopped getting paid

and they've started killing a few other commanding officers. so morale is not high in the Russian military. They should have had shot collars on, Mark. Yeah, exploding dog collars. That's your three questions, right? Yeah, that's it, buddy. That's all I needed to know. All right, so a couple quick plugs.

Trey is not on the show tonight because he's back on the road. Trey's tour dates are, Matt, you don't need to feel a graph to go, but go check them out. You're going back out with Trey. There we go. There's Trey's tour dates. Yeah, all the ones in red. all the ones in red I'll be with him but other than that I am currently not

on the road but go see my boy Trey Crowder.com and we've been as always and let's plug our Patreon we've been doing a couple extra episodes of skews a month on the Patreon so if you want to do that go to Trey's Patreon and sign up for the skews tier or search weekly skews

I don't know exactly how it works but if you go to weekly skews.com slash more you'll be able to figure it out. All right we did last week we talked about Joe Biden's big fascism speech and latest developments and Trump's legal bullshit. All right. So let's get on with the show.

Matt, graphic pleas with Daily Dumbass. Our Dumbass, Daily Dumbass winner this week is anyone who doesn't get horny for their good-smelling cousin. I'll let Dr. Oz take it. Oh, we got. There we go. I can't stop smashing my cousin. We hooked up at a young age and now in our 20s she still wants it, no matter how much I want to stop.

I always give it to her. Help me. Now, what advice would you give that person? If you're more than a first cousin away, it's not a big problem. Okay, so second cousin. You know, it's so funny because I knew that. How did you know that? Because I'm from the country.

Third cousins. Yeah, it's fine. It's all good. Because they say four cousins, you might end up with a kid would like Down syndrome or something? It's not that. So every family has genetic strengths and weaknesses. And so the reason we naturally crave people who are not so like us is because you just have to mix the gene pull up a little bit. So that if I have one gene for, let's say, hemophilia, which is a classic example, where you bleed a lot, if you catch yourself.

I don't want to marry a cousin has the same hemophilia gene because the chance of our child having both those genes is much higher. But for, you know, for the vast majority of problems that, you know, it's not an issue. But, you know, that's why children, girls, don't like their father's smell. Their hormones will actually repel their daughters because they're not supposed to be together. Right. And so our daughter will always, my daughter, hate me. I've done some independent research that would suggest the complete opposite of girls not wanting to be with their father. But that's just maybe me and my little corner of the earth.

Where, by the way, this same corner of the earth, I happen to agree with Dr. Oz on the, if it's not your first cousin, I mean, who gives a shit? I'm not saying Mariam, first off. I'm definitely not saying Mariam. I'm just saying we've all... Now, granted, the cousin that I made out with was my first cousin, but we were in middle school, which I maintain is a little bit different. And the one that I hooked up with,

we were cousins by marriage. And not only that, she didn't tell me until immediately afterwards, which was a weird time to be like, both of the ones, you know, the cousins? And so, again, I'm... like the first part of what Dr. Oz was saying, I'm for. I don't know about all this other stuff where it gets into the doctor

talk. I used to write on a show where I had a co-worker who was from his family was from Syria. He was a Muslim and he thought that the prohibition against cousin fucking was like Western imperialism. I was like, I don't want to die of this anymore any deeper. But so, but I do have a question for it, Corey.

Is the only reason you don't want to fuck your mom because she doesn't smell good to you? No, there's at least a couple more. I can think. there's like a several and for the record my mama do smell good like my mom is one of the best smelling ladies in the world we're a very clean family uh but no i could think of at least off the top of my head five to six other reasons that i don't want to fuck my mom yeah yeah so i was dug up from a dr oz's old radio show i came out resurfaced this week oh that's not that's not

new no no no he's just back when he was just a tv doctor just want to talk about cousin fucking so I want to talk about Dr. Oz because he's getting gross. Like, I don't understand why these guys become, once their losses become more and more assured to get more and more gross and mean, because, like, if you're going to go down, definitely. It's a hell Mary. Yeah, but like, you're down four touchdowns, but a minute to go. Is he losing? I didn't know that. Last poll, I saw he's down by 16 points.

Okay, because I got to tell you, like, when you say Dr. Oz is losing, of course that makes sense to the rational part of my brain. But, like, as you know, like, it literally nothing surprises me anymore. So, like, I just assumed, like, man, here's a guy who Oprah put over when that meant something, buddy. And I was like, I just figured this guy Mike could walk in. It is weird when you write, when America's post-mortem is written, like, probably no one is more responsible for its demise than Oprah Winfrey. But we never talked about it. It's crazy. The secret mainline anti-back stuff.

Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil. It's fucking insane. So one of Oz's lines of attack recently has been slamming Fetterman for having, quote, convicted murders on his payroll. This pisses me off for a lot of reasons. But there's a huge caveat here. Basically, these guys were wrongfully convicted. It's been 28 years in prison.

Yeah. So his Dr. Oz. to Twitter thread trying to capitalize on this shit um wait hold on explain the situation to me like i didn't know it at all before and am a dumb dumb all right so these two brothers um i'm blank of their names right now i was lee and dennis hill horton sorry um they were it was a memorial day 1993 and they were going to pick up some beers as you do a memorial day in america and they saw their buddy and they offered them a ride to go get some beers and then the cops surrounded this car and apparently the guy they were given a ride to had just

committed an armed robbery where he killed the guy. They didn't know that, or they say they didn't know that. Either way, offering a guy ride afterwards wouldn't seem to be a thing you'd get a life in prison for unless you were driving him to and from the murder. Right, right. I'm just going to pick up some beers. They went to prison. They spent 28 years there for giving a guy a ride to the beer store.

John Federman, who's, of course, the guy, Dr. Oz is running against, and his role as as lieutenant governor sat on, like, a parole board, and he advocated for their release because while they're in prison, they got jobs, like volunteer jobs is something like the prison equivalent of a social worker and worked to resolve violent disputes. They helped a lot of people out. And once they got out, they basically started a nonprofit where they helped try to end Philly's gun violence problem. These are like model inmate citizens.

Right. This is what you want. So Fetterman, in his defense is not, it hasn't panicked fired them. It's like, fuck you. This is dumb racist bullshit and your fear mong about two really nice guys. And I just they just all this really fucking gross me out He also went after Oz I'll have to give up this video Matt

I like this Federman guy now Yeah he'd be fucking he's not without his flaws But he's also not a cowering sack of shit And he also like He had a stroke recently He was off the campaign trail for having a stroke During which Dr. Oz's campaign account Started making fun of Federman for deserving his stroke for being fat

And so Federman gave this interview recently. We talked about all this. I think he pretty much nailed it. I'll let him sum it up. Funny to mock your recovery. How do you convince voters you can do this job? First, their approach, I always just would say, desperation is the worst cologne.

And they understand that Dr. Oz's campaign is in shambles. whether you look at the polls you look at the fundraising you know they've just figured out that you know let's appeal to folks that get their jollies you know you know making fun of the stroke dude and and again if that's your story you got to yeah that's pretty perfect and i like that's a great approach and but that's the guy he's calling fat yeah he's lost a lot of weight recently used to be a lot bigger but yeah but he's basically because you know dr oz had that we're just flap where he went to the store to pick up a crude-a-tray and was complaining about expensive

it is. So Fetterman's campaign was making fun of Oz or being an out-of-touch guy who goes to the store and gets avocados for his fruity-tay tray. And he was like, well, if Fetterman had ever ate a vegetable, maybe he wouldn't have a stroke. That was basically what they said. Yeah, it's not a bad joke, but also

like, Oz got, you get roasted for it because, you know, this is America where a lot of us are bigger people. Yeah, of course, right. You can't be doing that, dude. strokes. And Dr. Oz was like, well, I actually didn't have anything to do with that. A campaign is a big operation. His campaign is like $12 left. It's like four people left working for. It's like fucking, what are you talking about? If you didn't post the tweet, you can turn to your left and right and see exactly who did it. So I don't understand.

So is he just going to go straight back from the campaign trail to his, was he on TV before the campaigner? Or was he doing like a YouTube show or something? I think he's still on his TV show until recently. I don't know. My friend used to work for it. So Dr. Oz is a huge asshole independent politics. Really? I don't see it, you know?

So Trump had a rally for Oz over the weekend in Pennsylvania. Did his normal Trump shit. Nothing much to talk about except for one of the guest speakers was a woman named Cynthia Hughes, who runs a support group for January Sixers. She told the story of her poor little news. nephew, Tim Cousinelli, who's a convicted capital writer. He's their poster child for January 6th. The poor sweet boy who just was passionate about government. Is he the boy that was in the, in the prison sale? Okay. Hold on. I'm doing a bit here. Got here's it. So this is their poster child for, uh, for January 6th. This is the poor sweet guy who's caught up and being persecuted by the government. I want you to picture this guy, this mascot for being wrongfully accused and convicted. What do you think he looks like?

that was a full mustache and doing Nazi salutes so yeah got the Michael Jordan mustache you don't see it a lot you don't see it a lot anymore yeah it's just a fan of those Michael Jordan Haynes commercials that's it just and silent films that's all it is he's a big basketball and silent film guy so am I you know yeah oh dude it's the hair to Jesus God man like it's so funny too that that people really do look at that

right there and they go that is the model of supremacy. That right there is what we're striving for. And like Pedro Pascal is a mud blood. You know what I'm saying? Like it doesn't make any goddamn sense. Yeah, Hitler

was like 5'3 and pudgy and couldn't do a single pull-up. Fuck that. What sense is he the superior race? So it's not just Oz. I wanted to talk about this lady real quick. A lot of Trump's candidates are crashing and burning. Some of them literally. Here's a quote from Christina Karamo, per her ex-husband,

after he told her he wanted a divorce while they were driving their car, fuck it, I'll kill us all while she tried to swerve the car off the road. This is like a metaphor for American democracy, right? This is essentially what's happening. If I'm going down, we're all going down. God damn it. Yeah. We've talked about her before in case you've forgotten.

Karamo, she's endorsed by Trump. She's election denier and conspiracy theorist. She spoke at a Q&on conference last year. She's called abortion. Democrat child sacrifice to the devil and satanic practice. What are we getting out of it then? Why isn't the devil doing anything for us? Help us out, devil.

Come on, devil. She also thinks the premarital sex leads to demonic possession because, like, once you let a strange dick in you, like the demon comes out, the guy's dick and possesses you or something? I don't know. She thinks that's what twerking is? Like, that's it. Demon.

So, yeah, he says, they were driving the car and their kids were in their daughters who were then, who were like 11 in the back seat. She tried to crash the car off a bridge and killed them all. This from the legal, like, really made me laugh because it's written in this like legalistic doctrine with a doctor where the father's trying to be as nice as possible. As importantly, father does not raise this issue to denigrate mother, only to make the point that he has always been morally upstanding as it relates to his relationship with his daughters, whereas mother is literally sought to take their lives on previous occasions. I'm not saying she's a bad woman. I'm just saying she's trying to prove her own fucking... We've all had a bad day. It can happen to anybody.

You know? Yeah. Take the trash out, fellas. I'm telling you. Yeah. Anyway, so if you live in Michigan or Pennsylvania, don't vote for that one of those people, please, because we're all going to die.

Our next honor will mention Daily Dumbass is other 14-year-old New Yorkers for not wanting to return to the gold standard. What am I talking about? Bill Barr. I'll talk you back to his childhood. So he came after you, of course, for saying what you said the other day. They were jerking around, called you a rhino. Do you care about any of that?

No, I mean, I've heard that a lot. You've gotten used to it. But, you know, a rhino for him is anyone who disagrees with him that the election was stolen. Right, that's a rhino. Now, you know, as someone who handed out Barry Goldwater literature when I was 14 years old on the Upper West Side, it's a little silly. These are the weirdest fucking people on the planet. These are the weirdest people. Barry Goldwater ran for president as a Republican in 1964 on pretty much an insane segregationist John Bercher platform.

We should get rid of the Federal Reserve and return to the gold standard. And 14-year-old Bill Burr, Bill Barr was like, this is no, I get girls. Yeah, right. Dude, those rhinos, man, like, you, like, there's part of me that does have a, a little sympathy for them a little bit because like everyone hates them. Like every like their side is like no fuck you and like

you'd think that they're looking at us just being like see they don't like us so it's like the enemy of my enemy right and we're just like no you stupid Goldwater bitch going with your stuff you know what I mean? He's right. The only sense of which he's a rino is that he disagrees the election was stolen because he disagrees the election was stolen because he was the attorney general at the time and he thoroughly

investigated it because he wanted to make sure what see if it was true. So they could overthrow the election. So, like, there's no, like, he is absolutely a psycho. He just wanted to acknowledge reality at a very late stage. But it's worth knowledge. Bill Barr was already, uh, attorney general under, I forget which president, which Bush president, but maybe the first Bush, I forget. But he had already had his run. He was retired working for a lawyer firm making millions of dollars. He only reemerged in the public sphere because he wrote an op-ed saying that Trump was being persecuted by Robert Mueller. That's how he got the job with his attorney general. So like he's, he's absolutely psycho. But,

But he's all over, he was all over Fox News today, basically calling on, so yesterday, this Trump judge in Florida, when I say Trump judge, she was nominated, nominated confirmed by President Trump after he lost the election in a rush job to Southern District of Florida. So she could do this. And so she ruled yesterday that the FBI documents that belong to the American government need to have a special master to make sure Donald Trump isn't legally entitled to own America. And no more or Fox News yesterday today saying this is this rule. he's absolute horses shit. This is a crock of shit. This is stupid.

It doesn't even do anything. By the way, I got a news alert right, we decided to start to start the show that the FBI says some of the docs

they took from, the Trump had it more a lot of nuclear secrets. Oh, good. Yeah. They are the safest with him, though, like as long as he doesn't

give him to somebody else because it's not like he can do anything with the information. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's not like he knows what's going on

on that piece of paper. By the way, I'm sure that y'all talked about it on last week's skews, but how funny was it that the thing Trump was mad about the most, it seemed like, was that they inferred that he was a messy person when they had all the papers out on the floor. And I saw so many of the people on their side that were like, yeah, just so you know, Donald Trump would never just have stuff laid across on the floor. And it's like they've got to get it all in the picture, you dumb fuck. But that was

killing me, dude. It's been quite the saga. Yeah. Yeah. So Donald Trump's, the important takeaways here. Donald Trump's team of lawyers turned in absolute dog horse shit. She took the holiday weekend making their arguments better, which judge isn't necessarily ever going to do for anybody else. And they're arriving at conclusion they wanted, even though they didn't even really asked for it because they filed such shitty lawyering. Anyway, so there's a piece I read today. It's basically like, this is what their next 30 years look like if we don't do something about the courts, because these morons are going to be there forever. This woman's like in her 30s. Yeah, I was about to say, we're just at the beginning of a lot.

of this because we all know that like politicians like if you look at all the people that are in power right now a lot of them like their first campaign was like for nixon you know what i mean like there's pictures of pelosi like i mean she was you know a younger person but like standing there next to robert kennedy as a young woman wanting to get into politics for the love of god so like everything that we're dealing with now it's only going to get worse and they're going to get better at being worse, if that makes sense. When Diane Feinstein was mayor of San Francisco, she flew the Confederate flag over San Francisco City Hall.

That's how long she's been in politics. It's the Confederate flag hit for the residents of San Francisco. What even was the point of that? She wanted to seem like a centrist who'd be popular than South. She could get the nomination for the vice president. It doesn't fucking matter. Go shoot a deer. you dumbass like yes so anyway the point is like there are things that congress used to be able

to do that are utterly routine like the federal courts are understaffed like if you if you trump got a hearing over the weekend but if you and i fought a federal lawsuit we might not get the court for like four fucking years because there aren't enough judges you can solve two problems you could dilute this woman's influence by adding giving her 10 new colleagues and also make the system function or you can sit here and do nothing and this is what's going to happen anyway so Hey, can I make a guess as to which one they're going to do? Do nothing. That's going to be their instinct.

Hopefully, like, you know that old Winston Churchill quote where you can always count America do the right thing after they've exhausted all other options? It feels like the Democratic Party to me. Maybe they eventually figure out, well, I guess we got to fucking know what else is going to do it. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. So our last daily dumbass, so I'm really excited to talk about this one.

We pre-tease this at the beginning of the show. Our last day of dumbass is the New Orleans Saints for not up. helping those Bounty Gate Bounties. That's right. Brett Farr, who was famously the victim of those Bounty Gate Bounties, when the Saints players were offered bribes to try to injure him and some other Minnesota Vikings players, is caught up in a scandal where he got paid out of the state's welfare funds

to make speeches. He made the speeches. Mississippi's idea to fight poverty is to have Brett Farr give speeches to poor people where he tells them to play through the whistle. It's just so fucking funny. It's just so fucking funny. They said the state auditor says $70 million in federal funds went to Farr of a volleyball complex and a former pro wrestler and a scandal of the Rocky Mississippi. For context, Brett Farr made $140 million just in NFL money.

And if you've seen his Wrangler Gene ads, you know he made more endorsements. But it didn't stop the state of Mississippi from paying at $1.1 million to make motivational speeches, again, that he never gave. And so, but so Brett Farb also, he tried to get other funding for, like the funding went for a volleyball complex was $5 million to Mississippi's university's volleyball program because Brett Farb's daughter plays there. At Ole Miss? Yeah. Yeah. He also got a $3 million grant for a drug company. He was a shareholder in that the drug apparently, apparently a drug that hasn't been approved the FDA, but Brett Farf claims.

it fights concussions. Remember all Tom Brady saying he had special water that prevents concussions? Yeah. Brett Farr's got that in pill for. I mean, to defend Brett Farrv a little bit, almost all of the things that we're saying that he's doing sound as if they're being done by a man who's been kicked in the head a lot. You know what I'm saying?

Maybe when you brought up the whole bounty gate, thing, you've actually solved this. It's that had Sean Peyton and those assholes not further scrambled the barely brain that this son of a bitch already have, I mean, this, then maybe he's not

doing any of this. Because that's the only way, Mark, the only way that I can sleep at night with my childhood hero, who I've said many times, and my wife fought me on this. We're trying to have a child, and I,

told her, she asked me what I wanted to name our child, and I said, if it's a boy, I want to name it McNair. First name, and only one name, not McNair Forster, just McNair. Of course, after Steve McNair, the quarterback for the Tennessee Titans, rest in peace, he was murdered by a David Buster's waitress. And I told her that if we had a daughter, I wanted that daughter to be named Brett Farv Jr. And I meant that. And Brett Farv was one of my heroes as a kid. A Brett Farr's jersey. He was one of the first jerseys I ever had. And then I found out later in my life that this guy takes pills and pulls his dick out. I knew he was my man for some reason. I fucking love this guy. So when I saw him golfing with Trump and then I heard him

allocating funds from Mississippi's social welfare programs, the only thing that makes sense to me, Mark, is that he got hitting a head one too many times. Well, it's funny he raises a hypothesis because there's another guy caught up in this scandal who also famously got a hit in the head bunch uh turns out that like three million dollars this funds went to uh former pro wrestler ted debi this is what makes this might like he ran it some sort of charity that gives speeches to poor people like a christian charity and their their yearly budget before this is about 200 grand and the state of mississippi gave them 3 million now this is why this is my favorite the state of mississippi took funds that was supposed to go to help poor people that's what

makes the most perfect Republican scandal of all time. Money is supposed to get poor people and gave it to a guy whose wrestling gimmick was literally the million-dollar man. Yeah, yeah. If a lot of y'all don't know, the million-dollar man, Ted DiBiase, huge heel back in the 70s, 80s, early 90s, he used to, one of his things that he would do was he would tell a kid that if he could, like, dribble a basketball four or five times, he'd give him $100, and then the kid would come up a ring, and he would get on the third bounce

and Ted would just kick the basketball into the, end of the crowd. And, of course, that was all a gimmick. But turns out he's a real-life heel and dickhead. Basically, it's funny because Trump saw the million-dollar man. I was like, that's my gimmick. I'm going to do that now. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

With Ted, though, here's the thing. I knew as soon as he, I remember when everybody told me, like, Ted DiBiase is going to go be a preacher. And I was like, well, I know exactly what's going on, because there's only, two types of people that I know, the entertainers that I follow, that end up becoming preachers that weren't preachers their whole life. And it is pro wrestlers such as Ted DBIC and, oh my God, I'm blanking on another one, he was in the Four Horseman, I'm sorry, and rappers. Rappers often become preachers. And let me tell you that when they don't become preachers, they don't become preachers when they've got a number one hit on the radio. You know what I'm saying? They

become preachers when they're still on top of the card at WrestleMania. They start turning rappers when all of a sudden they run out of, or preachers, when they run out of money, it's like, you know what? I feel like the Lord is calling me to do something, which means it's completely disingenuine. Ted DiBiase one time was a freaking dickhead to me at a wrestling convention when all I was trying to do is help him get some water. I was working his table and he was a piece of shit to me. At first, I was kind of happy because I was like, oh my God, I just got healed out by Ted DiBiase, and then I heard all this stuff, he can go fuck himself.

Right. I'm glad he was personally mean to you. That's like, that's it was pretty cool. The one counter example to your rappers rappers only turn preachers after they fail but your theory does hit for me because it's like you know what? My business has stopped giving me

money. Now the Lord has called you to give me money. Yeah, it's all good. But also Mace. Mace quit at the height of his fame when he was puffed at his sidekick to go become a rap. But then he went the other way because he's preaching the rear failed. He tried to come back as a rapper.

Yes, I remember that song. It was, they, they remixed the Welcome Back Cotter theme song for Welcome Back for Mace. And I loved that song and then, but that was the last we ever heard of him. I got to go listen to that. We get off now. Oh, that's right.

So on our main topic, this happened a week or two ago, but we haven't got a chance to talk to yet. It's a slow Tuesday after one more day a weekend. be fun to talk about how rank choice voting screwed up Alaska's politics because Sarah Palin lost and I am so happy about that the new representative for the state of Alaska is going to be a Democrat by the name Mary Peltola who will talk about a little bit but first I want to talk about Sarah Palin losing out. Damn bro she got beat by a woman too

hmm holy shit so I want to watch this no offense women I know how that may have come out but like genuinely like that's amazing Alaska is a fun state. Alaska, Corey, have been there? I've never been to Alaska. It is one of two states that I have not been to. It's a beautiful land of criminals and weirdos. I love it.

And they also take more federal money than any other state per capita, I think. And also, instead of paying a state income tax, the government sends you money from oil revenues the end of the year. So it's a weird one of place. But I want to watch this video of Sarah Palin eating shit because it's really fun. Let's watch it. It's her financial loss. When it comes down to second and third place votes, that's going to decide who's going to win?

I mean, really? Alaskans want Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi. So what she's mad about is this is the first election when they try to rank choice voting. Can you tell me what that is? Because I don't know. It's very simple. If there are four people in the ballot, there were three this time, I think. You go to the polls and you write who your favorite you want to win is, who your second

favorite is and your last choice is that's it okay okay it's how it's American weird also trade out talked about this in episode a couple weeks ago but it's weird how broken america's brains are by like two-party electoral politics in their college right right choice voting is how you make every other decision in your life yeah that's true what do you want to get to dinner tonight uh Corey what do you want to get for dinner night I want to get Chinese and I go well I had Chinese for lunch and you go well my second choice would be right right it's it's like it is utterly simple. But Republicans are acting like it's very confusing because

they lost, even though they would have lost in the first round. Poltola, go ahead. I only, and I'm sorry for interrupting you, but I need to let you know why I needed to ask you what ranked choice voting is is because that's what I thought it was, the thing that you just said that it was, and I thought, well,

there's no way it's that simple because everyone's losing their goddamn mind about it. It must be something else. They're losing their minds because of Republicans won. And I'm trying to figure out what this was passed through a ballot initiative in 2020 and barely won by like one percentage point but i wish everybody would do this because it makes politics kind of way more sane and i'll we'll get to that part in a second but like i was talking about the republican freak out for us because it's pretty funny uh tom cotton posted tweet where

he basically was conspiratorial about all this is designed to fuck them the right choice cavoting is a scand rig elections which is just funny because alaska's run by republicans right it's not some bastion of like liberalism where they need where the jury it doesn't make any fucking sense. Yeah. And this has that pretty much sums it out. Republicans have only, have only themselves to blame for their Alaskan defeat.

This political writer named Joshua Crashow argued that rank choice voting is so inscrutable, your average voter, they're only fuel the conspiracy theories that are defined elections in recent years. And you rank shit one, two, three. It's not fucking, it's how they do the Olympics. Yeah. It basically, if no candidate, if somebody reaches over 50% on the first ballot, that person wins.

If nobody reaches 50%, which is what happened here, the lowest candidates are limited and their votes are redistributed to whoever the second choice is. And you keep going to that process is over. It's also not the reason counting the votes took so long because it took like a week or two to get the results. Alaska is a very world state. So they have a law that says as long as your votes mailed by election day, it has 10 days to get there because the mail is slow and fucking Alaska. That's just it. It's not hard. And this is really fun for me too.

The Alaska Elections Division was trying to beat back accusations. This is complicated. So they did mock elections with fake ballots. They posted concept ballots online. And different groups have different demonstrations on ranked choice voting works. Somebody put on a drag show and had people come out and write their top three favorite drag queens to demonstrate how ranked choice voting works. And the pictures from the show looked really fun. There was a drag king Elvis there.

Amazing. Amazing work, everybody. Yeah, you're giving me flashbacks. I used to make out with drag queens at shows all the time. I used to open for them. It was part of the bit. It was fun. Yeah.

So here's some numbers for you, by the way. Peltola would have won in the first ballot. She got 40% of the first ballot. Palin got 31%. And Nick Begich, I don't know how you say his name. Begish Begich got at 28%. Basically what happened here is that Palin and Begich fucking hate each other. Right.

So their voters hate each other So they wouldn't put the other one second Or hilarious Or they did They did the thing where some people thought it was a scam Because Republicans have taught their voters to think it's a scam So one person is the only wanted to vote for Begatch Right Begatch in all three places

And they don't count that No, it's one vote And it's like Sarah Palin's worth mentioning Does not hit for a lot of Alaskans Because I mean clearly not And the Oz Federman thing, one of Federman's big attack lines is Oz doesn't even go here. He lives in fucking New Jersey.

And so, Palin quite famously, resigned in the middle of gubernatorial term to move to New York and go on Fox News and be divorced. She didn't, she left. She got rich and bailed on her people for an easier kick. People don't forget that shit. She sucks, and they know it. So Federman pulled out a mean girl's quote? This is me summarizing his campaign stance Oh, okay, okay, right on.

So you're hitting for me, not him, which is great. Yeah, yeah. Let me ask you this while, because this is kind of, you just brought up Dr. Oz again. Because I just never, I never know how to feel when I talk to you. And here's why, usually you lay it all out to me in a way that I'm like, yep, I was right, we're all doomed, we're all screwed. But we're sitting here talking about how Trump's campaigning for all these people. He's campaigning for Dr. Oz, and Dr. Oz is getting whipped by 16 points. Sarah Palin just got beat by a woman in Alaska.

I mean, isn't that a good sign for the possible or the inevitable Trump, 2024, to not work out the way that they think it's going to work out? Yes. Yeah, but the important, this one I want to talk about Ranked Choice Foting, because this election was pretty sane and it had the correct result. I don't know much about Beggich, but one of his big problems is he's a real problem. He's a hardcore Republican, but his family's been in Alaska politics for decades as Democrats. So Republican primary, hardcore Republicans is like, this guy's a fucking undercover Democrat.

So, like, anyway. And so Trump endorsed Sera Palin's that it's all sort of screwy. But Peltola, let's talk about her for a second anyway. She's not just, um, Sarah Pellon just loses to a woman she lost to an native, an indigenous woman, a Native American woman. Even better, by her. Her big campaign issue, Troy, I did, Corey. I tease at the top of the show was. fishing. This lady likes fishing.

Hell yeah. And you wonder what does ranked choice voting have for this? Well, the thing is, it's a non-partisan election, which is essentially what ranked choice voting does. Then what you want to do is you want to build an actual coalition of people. So you have this native woman who likes fishing, what binds Alaskans together? You know, subsistence fishing for their food. Right. Or the big factory boats for the guys who need

relounce salmon for their living. It's protecting fish in the wildlife reserves right yeah that's what she ran on she ran on the very same campaign about her love of fishing i want to watch this video because it's from 2017 and it basically it's from five years ago there's so much this lady loves fishing she's basically got designed this campaign in 2017 if you got this video clip matt you call it up just like think about how sane and normal this lady is that she won an election in Alaska in 2022 It's like something from Parks and Rec. Yeah, I was getting that vibe.

Yeah. I think our Internet's from Parks and Rec, too. Yeah. I'm Mary Sattler Peltola, and I'm from Bethel. It's along the Cusco Corm River. And I don't really have one story about salmon from growing up. It's just, you know, spending all summer, and the whole summer is revolving around the King Run and the Chum Run, and then the red salmon run and the silver salmon run and harvesting salmon and commercial fishing as well.

She looks like a nice, sane, sweet lady who likes fish. I was about to say, I'm having a little trouble here. So what we found out is that in this one election is that Trump can campaign for someone and it not work, ranked choice voting works. And if you run a campaign that is not just It's actually about a goddamn policy that matters to the majority of people, then you can win an election

because that makes me want to pull a Brett Farre and whip my dick out right now, buddy, because that's really good stuff. Yeah, it's good. It's what politics is supposed to be is I have a idea about how to help you and that person's idea out of help you. You pick your favorite idea.

But Palin and Beggage are running around calling each other undercover communists and huge cyclos. And she was just rope and open them. She was just fucking over here. Meanwhile, this lady is just going door to door

talking to people about how she likes fish. So right now this is what's happening. So like they're right. For the top choice for people, Republicans got 60% of the votes, but they split them 31, 28, and Peltola got 40. But so if one of them drops out,

they can probably go back to pivoting to be insane and win in Alaska, but they're not dropping out. The deadline passed today for wanting to drop out. Both are going to be on the fucking ballot just because they hate each other so goddamn much. They hate each other more than they want to see a Republican represent Alaska, and that's why Mary Poltolla might win in the fall, because this is just a special election to replace that old Frank Don Young who died. So Peltolla's got like a few months left in her term now and a new car spokesperson.

Anyway, and I hope it's Mary Poloola. Yeah, me too now. yeah the fish lady yeah the fish lady man what a good day what a good skews running to represent Alaska which is America's cold Australia that's how I choose to think yeah man we got to go now yeah I want to go let's go my grandma used to go

every couple years to like a crew Alaska cruise a cruise yeah was there gambling on the cruise line Nah, my non-a doesn't It isn't about the gambling She's just like the scenery She always bring her back a t-shirt With wolves on it So yeah, Matt, you go ahead

Always wolves Always wolves in Lasca a t-shirt Missou may have you if want to grab some comments We've got a few minutes where you have to go Corey, you want to plug your Oh, yeah Absolutely we mentioned at the top That Trey's touring without me

Because I took some time off to do some other things I'm going to be taking a little bit of time off Next year too to do some other things. So the thing I'm promoting the most now is my publication called Corey writes for you.com. That is where I write for you.

I do essays. I do podcasts. I do a little video series. And it's actually about to grow because I'm spending more time at the house. So Corey writes for you.com. There is a, if y'all have any money left over from the skews Patreon,

there is a $5 tier that gets you bonus things, that gets you things early. For instance, it gets you, me and my sister are doing a A House of the Dragon review show called Little House of the Dragon. You get those early and ad free over at Corey Wrightsfor-you.com for $5, but also if you can't afford it and would still like it, you can just email me at ButtercreamCore at gmail.com, and I will give it to you for free like a socialist twat.

So Corey writesfor-you.com, we'd love to have you. Yeah, all about the working man. Aren't you, Corey? Yeah, buddy. Yeah. Do you want to, so while I'm asking for some comments, I want to ask you, and you can answer this in character or not, about the weekend's events. So the Buttercream Dream got hit in the head with a guitar by Jeff Jarrett, famous wrestler. And the fallout from that has been pretty intense. How would you just grab it? Um, cataclysmic. Um, it's been rough. And what I'd like to say to everybody watching this right now, because I get, oh, it was staged. Oh, it was staged. Oh. was fake. First off, in wrestling, we don't use that word. It's called a work. And yes, it was staged, but I'd like to let everybody know. It was staged that I was going to take a slap to the

face. That was what we agreed to. That was what was agreed for the show. I'm going to take a slap to the face. And then Jeff Jarrett, double J, the rotten son of the bitch that he is, went into Biss for himself and came upside my head with a guitar. That's why you see the look of shock on my face. I was expecting a slap and here comes one of my childhood heroes with a guitar and smashes it directly over my head. And I can't understand why. Because again, we agreed to the slap. Now, the only thing I can think of is that, oh, I'm not one of the boys. I'm not actually a wrestler. I'm a comedian that's just playing wrestling. I'm going to teach him something. I'm going to give him a potato. You know what I mean? I'm going to, I'm going to shoot on him. It's the only thing I can

think of because it's not what I agreed to. I make my fucking living with my face. I do auditions every day that I don't get. Sure. This mustache is blonde because I tried out for Hulk Hogan. This is my goddamn moneymaker. Do you really think that I'm going to agree to a guitar shot in the face? No. No, I will not. Mr. Jarrett, expect litigation or me to drive up to wherever the fuck Tennessee you live in now. And it's going down. I will not forget this. Yeah. Is this where Corey goes? I will see him the ring next Sunday for the takedown. That's from NLA. We'll have to work out the actual dates, but yeah.

I wish you could do a poll of people. I can't forget what the bit is here, which part is? Because you've driven the internet, I'm not going to make you break K-Fa, but you've driven the internet and saying it's been fun to watch, because people can't forget what the bid is or what's it going on. It's been fun to participate.

Let me let let you know that, because I've got to, I mean, it's a childhood dream I'm living here. yeah Corey is really in reality of huge wrestling fans

and doing that was a big dream and he can we talk about the roast because I was sad yeah I mean

I did like I was supposed to roast Rick Flair a couple weeks ago for his last match and one day before I tested positive

for COVID after not having COVID the entire three and a half years avoiding it and so I didn't get to do that you know

I was trying to stay safe for everybody and then I got invited to do a panel, and I got to hang out with, you know, Mick Foley and, you know, mankind, for those of you who only know wrestling names, this past weekend is where I agreed to take a slap in the face from Jeff Jarrett, which I thought would more than make up for me, you know, not doing the roast. I was like, hey, this is an actual wrestling angle. And then he went into business for himself, and again, I've exhausted it. But yeah, that's what happened.

Folks, I have no idea if he's lied either. I have no idea. Yeah. Are you frozen or you... I don't know what else to say about it. You know what I mean? I was assaulted and everyone seems to find it hilarious. Yeah, it's pretty great. If you can go to Corey's Twitter,

you can find the videos on Instagram too. Oh, yeah. Well, I just now put it up on Instagram. I was... The thing is, I forgot that I even had an Instagram because I had a concussion. I was knocked unconscious by a man's guitar. so I've been a little winky-wonkey on social media because of a concussion.

Rick is done. John L. Chilters asks, Rick is done? What? I think he broke his heart. He didn't know that news. Wait, what? Oh, Rick Flair. Yeah.

Yeah, he had his last match a couple weeks ago. But here's the deal, man. There's a lot of wrestlers who had their last match 20 years ago, and I saw him this weekend wrestling. You know what I'm saying? Like, who knows? But Rick is, he's getting up there. Rick has had some heart trouble, so it's probably for the best.

But, yeah, he had his last match, and it was actually against Jeff Jarrett, the sack of shit himself. Rick had an all-time quote in one of it. I think it was his 30-for-30 documentary, but somebody asked him, is like, are you an alcoholic? And he goes, how would I know? I never tried to quit. I can attest to that, yeah. That's a solid redneck line. I love it.

Yeah. Yeah, my face looks fine. I see that comment. but do you see this bruising on my shoulder right here? And would you also like to see the back of my fucking neck that's all cut up from the guitar that may I remind you I was smashed over the head with? Yeah, fame never ends, folks,

but skews has to do at one point, some point. So I think that's about it for today's show. Don't forget to like and subscribe. I forgot to say that so you guys could do that. It'd be awesome. Trey, we'll be back next week as far as I know. if not i'll be here yeah

somebody will be because it's uh we don't go on we don't go on because it's 5 o'clock on because it's 5 o'clock on tuesday so that's tray's tour dates the red dates so we can see or he'll be with uh kori cori and drew and then our skews tier uh if you guys want more episodes of skews took out our bonus content at weekly skews.com slash more uh thank you guys for tuning in

say goodbye corey goodbye everybody i love y'all cori rots for you dot com scooooo