Weekly Skews - Weekly Skews 9/07/2021 – Texas Wronghorns

Episode Date: September 8, 2021

Tonight we discuss the horrific new Texas abortion law and the myriad ways in which it sucks, as well as Satan’s efforts to fight back (for real, though). We’ve also got a slew of wonderful dumbasses and plenty of other fun stuff in store. Join us. Support the show

Howdy, everybody, welcome back and happy skews day to you. It's September 7th, 2021. I'm Trey Crowder, and that's Mark Audey. What's up, Mark? What's up, Trey? Just pouring out a little liquor morning passing in Michael K. Williams, one of my favorite actors of his generation. Yeah.

I was a sad one, man. It hit me. Yeah, because I also, I just, I think it was. a few months ago now, but I just recently listened to him on, I think it was WTF podcast, I'm pretty sure, but I listened to a podcast on him on it where he was talking about being

an addict and being sober. He talked a lot about that, and apparently that's what happened with his death, I guess. There was a relapse or something it seems like, and that's just always a huge member to hear because, yeah, I was a huge fan of his also. Yeah, that's what the

original report said. I don't know. Of course, he's 54 could have underlying health stuff too, but But, you know, I don't want to be one of those white people. He yells everybody to watch The Wire because, you know, we exist and we're out there. But it is, for my money, the best TV show of all time. And Omar Little is one of the greatest characters of all time. And a man's got to have a code, Trey. A man's got to have a code.

Well, I'll say the Wire, you know, TV fans since forever. And the Wire came out when I was in this stage of my life where I couldn't. It was before DVR and the Internet and streaming and all. that stuff and you had to be like you had to be there every week to watch a show and I was at a point where I couldn't watch a show every week and so I missed the wire and for years the wire was at the top of my I know I need to watch that but I don't I haven't had the time to watch that list and so the very first thing I did when the pandemic started was I watched the wire and I got to tell you pretty good that's it's pretty good I see what all the I see what all the fuss is about no

So it's, I mean, I agree with you. It's, yeah, the best TV show of all time, and he's arguably the best part of it. His whole courtroom scene that he has in season three or four, whatever that is, right there in the middle. That's the first season. I got the shotgun. You got the briefcase, but it's all the game. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

But, yeah, it's a great scene. It's like, they teach, like, show and sociology classes for a reason. All this shit we spent, we spend our time on this show yelling about the wire explains in detail. what happened to America. It's like, you want to know what's up. Right. What happened to America while we're in such deep decline, the wire fucking lays it out.

It's all quarterly reports and institutional bullshit. Yeah, man. So rest in peace, Michael K. Williams. Huge fucking bummer. You know, why not? 2021. Bummers all around. But anyway, with us as always,

this producer, Matt, this is weekly skews. I want to remind you real quick. I'm on tour again. If you are vaccinated, go to well-read comedy. dot com for tickets and information will be in Raleigh this weekend looking forward to that if you want to support me on patreon go to patreon.com slash track router i do a lot of fun bonus stuff over there but as far as the show tonight we mess with texas in particular the state's horrific new abortion law which threatens to undermine decades of reproductive rights in this country existence is a nightmare and

the skews is here to document it for you and we and you know some other fun stuff stuff too, but first, as always, we begin with the Daily Dumbass. Matt, graphic, please. Tonight's dumbass, anyone who listens to the rhetoric of elected Republican officials. This, according to, the country's top elected Republican official. Matt, play the clip. Actually, my friends, it never occurred to me that we'd have a challenge getting people to take the vaccine. But that's where we are.

90% of the people in the hospitals are unvaccinated. Does he not listen to his own caucus? Because Rand Paul is still running around telling people not to fucking get vaccinated. Yeah, who knew? It's like when they were all huddled in the chambers of the Senate hoping not to get murdered on January 6th, you know, and they're like, you know, I don't know why these people believe this crazy bullshit after a year spent propagating the crazy bullshit publicly, you know?

Like, that's their whole thing right now, it feels like. I, like, there's an overarching theory I haven't been to wrap my mind around, but I think about a lot that, like, somehow Americans have come to the conclusion that they're never going to die, and therefore their immediate prospects, their jobs, their immediate grasp of power is, like, the most important thing in the world, God damn, the consequences, right? Like, it's not, it's like there's nothing worth sacrificing yourself for, nothing worth putting your career on the line for,

nothing in the world worth sacrificing anything for, and you arrive at people like saying anything to get through the next 10 minutes without thinking about their fellow man or their children or the people around them. And so you end up advocating for people not to take the vaccine, and they're complaining out of people not taking the vaccine, and we just think they'd be trapped in this fucking circle. Yeah. And on that note,

apparently they are not immune to the effects of this. It seems like it's starting to wear on some of them. If you don't believe me, at this fun little montage put together of West Virginia Republican Governor Jim Justice. May I play that, please? Vaccinated. Absolutely getting yourself vaccinated and we're running out of time. A bunch of people will die. I don't know how we can be more explicit. Oh, boy, we have got to get vaccinated. More people will die. All you're doing is entering

the death drawing. What in the world? I mean, I would run over top of somebody. death after death after death if we don't get ourselves vaccinated. You know, I... Yeah, that's the Republican governor of West Virginia. Just like, fucking, I guess he, that guy, I guess he flipped parties three or four times. I don't really know what his, like, actual belief system is.

That shit goes on in West Virginia, I feel like, you know, because you, like Joe Manchin, the Democrat or whatever. Like, it's hard to tell in West Virginia. Virginia, I think. And I think it's like a result of the whole, like, the longstanding tradition of unions and shit there and like old school Democrats or whatever. And it's like, oh, they're Democrats, but they're also racist, you know, or whatever. And trying to, trying to clarify who is what in the state of West Virginia. It's always some shit like that. Yeah. The, uh, shout out to the video was put together other people at the recount, by the way.

Twitter count at the recount. Uh, they make some good content. So since we ganked it, I wanted to give them credit for it. But you can just see the exasperation set in it. Because he's like a governor hashtag govern, whereas Mitch McConnell doesn't have to fucking do shit, right? Right. Like he's not responsible for anyone's lives outside of that maybe his staffers in his department. But here's a guy who literally has to take the phone calls in the hospitals who's like,

please fucking take the vaccine. And it's like what's on the ground and what's happening in, you know, elite media circles is not the same thing. And thank you, Governor West Virginia, for reminding us with that. Also, get vaccinated if you haven't yet. Put it on your due list. I imagine most people listen to this have, or at least in favor of it in theory. But if you haven't done it yet, make time, go do it. Yeah, because if you don't, what are you going to do?

You're going to take horse pills. That's what you're going to do. You're going to end up taking horse medicine. And there's some new information that's come out about horse medicine, Mark. Is that correct? Turns out taking horse medicine could have some weird impacts. Yeah, it turns out if you take a bunch of ivermectin, your sperm gets real slow. and grows two heads.

That's pretty fun. I guess, like, natural selection works itself out eventually, I guess, even if, like, you cure yourself a COVID with the horse pills, you're going to be selected out of the gene pool. But the fun part to me is it just drives down on testosterone as well, so a bunch of papal is about to grow some titties. That's going to really hit for me. But here's the fun part about it.

Well, two fun things. We'll go, well, Matt's dad provided us a little bit of fact check. We'll get to in a second. But this was a study from 2011 done in Nigeria. But the thing is, veterinarians know that this shit causes problems with spurn, which is why they tell breeders not to give it to breeding studs, it turns out. So if these people, forget consulting with a doctor. If they had consulted with a veterinarian, they wouldn't have taken this shit,

which is endlessly funny to me. but Matt's dad who I guess works in medical research want to know this is a very small study only done with 39 people and it's not a super reputable journal but it is good enough information to justify a larger study which the good news is we have a huge sample size to pull from in the coming years

when birth rates in Oklahoma go through the floor and no one knows why so yeah it's like yeah even people who work with horses and prescribe horse medicine for horses. If you have a horse whose dick you want to work, horse experts agree. You probably shouldn't give them Ivermectin.

And it's funny because, like, I feel like that's the, you know, having your dick work has jumped to the top of medical priorities over the years. Do you know what I mean? Like Viagra being the biggest thing, you know what I mean? Like, you would think this would have an impact on the people, the demographic who's taking ivermectin you tell them's like hey yeah you know you can own the lips like sure you'll poop yourself to own the lives and that's worth it

but also your wainer might not work anymore and you would think maybe that would have an impact but i guess not also but i mean these people aren't reading medical journals but there were i remember around march at 2020 there was a bunch of research coming out of china whereas like it was basically the top line of it was like COVID causes erectile dysfunction and out of the moment

it made me laugh because I was like all the China figured out how to talk to Americans right they'll care now now they will care yeah they're trying to tell us something that we care about we don't care about our lungs we think we're never going to die as we just talked about earlier but fuck who wants to live forever

you can't get it up right you think that would that would work on people but up still didn't work so this probably won't work either They're just like, yeah, we're just doing this. Yeah, nothing works. But apparently there's some other side effects of ibermectin as well. If you don't believe us, take it from Alex Jones, renowned horse medicine expert.

Play the clip, Matt. You'll see what I'm talking about. Hmm. Oh, my gosh, that is absolutely hideous. I mean, they told me not to take it. Oh, ho, ho, he-ha, he-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. I've turned into a Democrat. I took the Ivermacked.

Oh, no, Fauci's right. I didn't turn into a horse. How owned do you feel right now, Mark? You feel pretty owned by that? I'm so on because, like, apparently this is the fantastic content I'm missing out on by not watching Info Wars more often. If Alex Jones was all this shit,

I would watch, honestly, used to be all this shit Alex Jones used to be a fun-loving conspiracy theorist in the night and he just talk about like moon lasers and aliens and shit before he got hyped up on politics before Trump got elected when Obama got elected I guess is a better way to put it

but he's always a good got to turn to like I remember he had a whole theory that Obama had weather machines it was controlling the weather when he was president but then Trump took over and I never heard anymore about the weather machines which like did Obama take the weather machines with him when he left

took him back to Kenya with him. That's what he did. Yeah. Yeah, I guess. What is supposed to be the, like, his whole thing is that Ivermectin's, he's making fun of the idea that Ivermectin doesn't, and I know, it's like, you sooner lasso the moon than make sense of the point Alex Jones is trying to make. I understand that, but it's like.

Well, no, I can tell you what point he's trying to make. Okay, all right. Okay, so there's a meme on the right that, like, the fact people are calling Abermexin horse pills that we joking about. Like somebody later said, if people at this point, people calling Ivermectin horse medicine or in a cult, like we're in denial with their human versions of it, when that's not really exactly

what we're talking about. But he's making fun of like the lib panic around, which is I'm not panicked about it. I'm not taking it. I'm just laughing if people are taking it and asking people not to if they want to live. You know, but I don't really, I'm not deeply invested in it, but he's making fun of us for panicking and thinking that

taking Ivermecta will turn people into horse is or something? I don't really know. But yeah. But then he's like, but what it will turn you into is a Democrat somehow, which is like that's the worst thing that could happen, you would think. Well, he's mixing

his metaphors because he said he turned into a horse but he's he-hawing like a donkey, which of course is the semi-democratic party. So not only does he know the difference between horse medicine and people medicine, but he doesn't know the difference between a donkey and a horse. So fuck out. Shows. Mixing metaphors? Not making sense? What is the world?

coming to, man. This doesn't, this doesn't check out. All right. Our next honorable mention for Daily Dumbass is all of us for not realizing that all of this shit is true. You're going to feel really stupid after you watch this clip because you didn't understand just how bad things have gotten out here. This is, this is Lynn Wood, who you remember from the Big Lie fame. And he's out there workshop and new shit now. And y'all, it's some block. bust your stuff. Matt, play the clip. Going to Walmart, stop going to Target.

Stop buying the foods that they have been producing for years with fetal tissue parts to kill you. John D. Rockefeller was a devil worshiper. Part of the Illuminati. You heard Jaron Jackson say, boy, oh boy, it drives them wild when somebody gets out public and says the Illuminati, do the research, connect the dots, the luminaity is real, and they're devil worship.

So, uh, so yeah, go ahead, Mark. So Lynn Wood, who is Donald, Donald Trump's big election lawyer and also a big Q and on dude, he's been running around the last year saying that Hillary Clinton eats baby parts to live forever, but also Walmart putting baby parts in your food to kill you. So I have a question about where you get the good baby parts versus the bootleg baby parts.

Yeah. You got down to the farmer's market. Yeah. The good baby parts. From your local baby part you know, farmer. Your local baby part farmer. Yeah. No, this one, it sounds like a mad lib, right? Just like

insert lunacy, here thing where he's just like how I wonder how long he talked you know and like that was what was that 60 seconds and it was just just five different types of lunacy just back to back to back to back to back and it's like how much can he fit into it does he do an hour does he got an hour or a shit because I just you feel like you'd almost run out at some point but I guess not man I mean I feel like he's scraping the bottom of the barrel to rant about John D. Rockefeller who died in 1937. Right.

Like, I don't even know the thing about abortion, Satan. Maybe it did. I don't give a shit. But I don't know whether he, I don't, like,

you can make any sense of all that shit. It's like, this is the president's lawyer, ex-president's lawyer. No, our true president's lawyer, but just get it straight.

Yeah. So. Yep. All right. Our next honorable, next honorable mention for Daily Dumbass, Joe Biden, for not keeping some of those

surplus tanks around to combat the hurricanes that came through last week. Matt, play the clip. Tell you what would be a good start for the people of Louisiana. 85 billion dollars worth of military equipment that was left behind in Afghanistan. We could use some of those assets for the citizens of America. Let us put America first. Yeah, it's a Louisiana Congressman Andy Biggs. He's got his finger on the pulse of what's really happening, the problems in his home state right there. People don't have electricity. They don't have air conditioning.

They don't have health care. They don't have vaccines. We've got to get on tanks. But imagine if they had tanks. If we had had some tanks when Ida rolled through, none of this shit would be going on. It's another mad-lib situation. He sounds like,

listen, everybody's asking me about floods. You know the real problem? Joe Biden is flooding this country with Mexicans. That's the real problem. It's a flood of immigrants coming. over the border and that's what I want to talk about like yeah you talk about moving the gold post dude but yeah what the fuck are 80 billion dollars worth of tanks which of course that's all completely made up by the way but what is that going to do uh in a hurricane relief

effort you know talking about the green new deal you know this is green the hundred dollar bills that hunter Biden uses to snort cocaine that's what I'm worried about that's what we need to talking about out here he says standing amongst the rubble oh man all right standing amongst the rubble complaining about bullshit that's pretty that's that's american politics right now buddy ain't that america uh fucking shovel and start digging your people out asshole okay so for our last arm we'll mention we're going to do a little bit of a deep dive here it's a school board update mark will you uh walk us through this please it's a wild shit So last Thursday, this is a bunch of crazy, we've been talking about crazy shit happening in schools.

So last Thursday afternoon, three guys, only one of them which has a kid in school. This guy's kid got set home due to COVID contact tracing, asked to isolate, and to wear a mask after she tested negative and came back to school for a few days. In response to which, this dad gathered up a couple of his buddies and went to citizens arrest the principal with some zip time. And here's a quick video of him live cast by broadcasting himself going to kidnap a high school, uh, school prints. Yeah. Here, I'll show you. Law enforcement zip ties. Okay, where is the office?

We're just, oh, this over there? I thought it was up front. Okay, probably. We're just coming in to talk first. but our public officials need to know that there he is we here all right so a couple things about that video uh i want to show the whole thing it's a rambling facebook live stream but uh the buddy was carrying the zip ties and he pivoted the camera over to show the zip ties and the buddy goes hey i don't want to be on camera like because his buddy's like we're committing the crime he's smart enough to know it and so he hands the zip ties off so this guy instead to confess to planning a crime on on face Facebook Live. And I like that he goes, we're just going to talk first because it really does outline the problem here, because there has to be a step two to the zip line, the zip tie.

Right. Right. Yes, right. It's like, it's like step one, talk. Step two, question marks. Step three, law enforcement zip ties. Citizens arrest. Like what step four, though?

Yeah, right. What happens after that? Yeah. Yeah. Who knows? You're like keeping your basement. to confesses they're going to be they are going to be hoisted upon the shoulders of their community members and and lauded throughout the streets as heroes for arresting the principal of the school that's what step four is mark that's what happens after that yeah so uh so what happened next was a school a school cop came and said hey what the fuck buddy and so he politely asked the cop if he could do a citizen's arresting the principal and the cop's like that that's not a thing buddy so they left after a little bit

and the guy made another Facebook video where he was saying that the school was merely the school's not like it when dads come in because they're too masculine so they were just put off by how tough and masculine these guys are. Yeah, that was the problem. Yeah. Anyway, today all those guys

got arrested. So, yeah, all three members of Arizona Trio, bars in the elementary school principal's office was zip ties and threatened to place her or citizens' arrest for following public health guidelines have instead been arrested themselves. That's how that goes. Yeah, the video they made before they got arrested

was them saying like, listen, when moms come in and they have concerns about what's going on with our children, everybody's fine with it. But as soon as a man shows up with concerns, all of a sudden, it's a problem. Everybody's worried about it. As soon as a masculine father shows up with some legitimate concerns about his child's education and also cameras and zip ties and the idea to citizens arrest the school's principal. As soon as that happens, all of a sudden, it's a problem just because we're men.

We are men who are being persecuted for having manly thoughts and society can't handle it. That's their general stance on the situation. A mom brought in cookies. I brought in zip ties. They're both objects. Right. Right. But one of them's a problem somehow.

Okay. Whatever. America. This is noun discrimination. You're discriminating against different kinds of nouns here, but he's zip ties versus, you know. But this guy owns a coffee shop. That's his like, that's what he does for living. Like, well, we're not telling what I should.

But just know that with this guy's the play about masculinity, he does not exude masculinity. Let's just put it that way. And he owns a coffee shop where he hosts meet and greets with the likes of, like, for example, Dinesh D'Souza, convicted felon, and former Laura Ingraham College boyfriend has spoken there. The one that really got me with a recently held a meet and greet with a, quote, disgraced Space Force Lieutenant Colonel,

which is a really funny description to me. How Space Force has been around for like, like 10 minutes. How have you been driven out of it already? But I guess he published a book warning of white genocide and a neo-Marxist agenda. Yeah, that'll do it. Even the space force should have been focused on the moon

Muslims, Mark, but he was out here talking about white genocide and a neo-Marxist agenda. And as such, he got disgraced, smooth out of the space force, but he's a featured speaker at this lunatics coffee shop.

Also, like, dude, this is how truly mainstream coffee shops have gotten. Do you know what I mean? Like there's a coffee company that's like, I think it's called, and I don't know that much about them, but it's called Black Rifle Coffee Company, I think. And their whole thing is being like pro veteran, pro-flag, hardcore, manly coffee company. Yeah. Like coffee shops used to be the realm of, you know, us liberal queers.

That's where we were at. We were at, if you wanted to find a liberal query, you go to the coffee shop. But coffee has gotten so undeniably mainstream that you've got fucking mega lunatic coffee shops now where they're having speaking engagements from disgraced space force kernels and shit. Like, dude, America is wild, man. We are wild. It was like six months ago, Ted Cruz was still making latte liberal jokes. Which is, like, extremely funny because Starbucks is super successful because they made, like, something with the aesthetics of, like, rich people stuff, like, affordable for, like, three bucks, right?

So, like, there's Starbucks in truck stops along I-35 in Texas. You can stop halfway between Waco and Austin and get a latte behind another guy getting a latte wearing work boots who's on a break from his construction job. This is not the purview, but, like, so, but instead they've started right-wing coffee shops who are, like, lattes, but with huge gun dicks. Yeah, big old gun dick. Big old gun dick lattes right here at America Beans Incorporated. Yeah, man. But anyway, this stuff, we should probably skip over because we're running out of town. But there was a – along the same lines around schools like Patriot Prayer and the Proud Boys

shut – they managed to put three schools on lockdown in Vancouver, Washington this week because they were doing mass protests. And they were doing prayer circles around, I guess, right kids who didn't want to wear masks and then sending them into the schools unmasked like in waves like they're like the storm of Normandy and the school had to like go in lockdown to try to figure out

what the fuck was going on. Yeah, those people they're like in their heads they're freedom writers. You know what I mean? Like fucking. Oh, they're literally used somebody said last week they called it Rosa Parks again that they were going to do. Right. Yeah. There you go. Yep.

Okay. All right. Well, Mark, former text I mean, you're not from Texas, but you're a former Texan. You know a lot about Texas shit. Let's talk about Texas shit. Not a good week to be Texan. I mean, unless, you know, you're super into the Lord and all that type of thing. But, yeah, Texas is in the news.

Big new abortion law. All right. They got through the Supreme Court and people are mad and for good reason. And Mark, former Texan, tell us about it. All right. So you guys have probably heard the news by now. If you haven't followed in the close details, we're going to get through them real quick. But Texas passed a law called SB 8, which is a novelty because what it does instead of banning abortion or using a state enforcement mechanism, it outlaws enforcement to individuals.

So basically it sets up a civil procedure where if you suspect someone has had an abortion past six weeks of pregnancy, you can sue anyone who facilitates it for $10,000. And they have to prove they didn't. And if they can't, they have to pay you $10,000 plus your legal fees and also their legal fees and stuff with shit like that, right? It's, um, the woman can't get sued, which is one way they get around making this a huge civil rights violation. But it's like it's for the doctor or the administrator, the nurse, the, uh, an Uber driver unwittingly drives a woman to a clinic, right? Can all be on the hook for $10,000 plus legal fees. Um, and the person who sues cannot lose. Now this, this framework has a lot of like, uh, potential pitfalls, which are,

well, I don't think it's ever going to, like, have any direct effect. I think the indirect effects of making clinics shut down because they can't figure out how to manage this, navigate this dynamic is going to be the real problem. But Supreme Court, people filed an emergency injunctioner to stop this, and went to the Supreme Court, the Supreme Court killed it in their shadow docket, which is where you just issued an unside opinion in the middle of the night without actually hearing the case or taking any arguments. And basically, five justices said, well, we can't figure this out because you need to be

able to sue, usually when you file an injunction to stop a law from going into effect, you sue the state official or county official or whatever in charge of enforcing it, right? That's who you put on the lawsuit. But there is no official in charge of enforcing it because it's a bunch of random people are going to file it because there's no one's done that. There's no one to, there's no one to sue yet. So there's, it's outstanding issues in technical legal bullshit. Basically, they're cowards.

They don't believe anything that they're saying, but they want to let the law go into effect and see how it plays. So while other states pass the law, and maybe the momentum will let it carry through before anybody figures out that what's, they're doing. It's crooked and awful. It's not a popular law. It's not going to be a popular law because anything we're enlisting people to snitch on their neighbors is not going to play out how you think because I imagine that say, even if my wife is getting an abortion, I don't want her to get, I'm going to be more mad at the person who puts her name in the fucking newspaper and sues us

for $10,000 than I am over, what's happened in my marriage is my business. It's not going to play how people think. But if you want to get a gauge of how I'm popular this is, even among Republicans, uh, you can check out all the times they don't want to talk about it. For example, uh, Fox News didn't talk about it at all, like two days after it passed. They should be gloating, right? It's a 40-year project, the conservative movement to overturn Roe v. Wade. They did it in the dead of night. They fucking won, and they're doing zero end-zone dances. And here's Bill Cassidy, a senator from Louisiana on, uh, one of the Sunday shows this week. Talked themselves in circles around it. You want to see how they feel about it.

So the law is being enacted right now. Let's talk about the underlying law, which is talk about the substance of the underlying law. It gives private citizens the right to enforce this law. It actually tasked private citizens with enforcing this law. And the Wall Street Journal came out against that this week. They called it, said an editorial calling it the Texas abortion law blunder, saying the law sets an awful precedent that conservatives should hate. Could California allow private citizens to sue individuals for hate speech?

Or New York deputized private lawsuits against gun owners? So setting aside the standing issue, what do you think of the underlying substance of the law? I think the Supreme Court will swat it away once it comes to them in an appropriate manner. If it is as terrible as people say it is, it will be destroyed by the Supreme Court. But to act like this is an assault upon Roe v. Wade is, again, something the President's doing, I think, to distract from his other issues. And it is clearly not an assault upon the country. By the way, I'm pro-life. But just to say, the facts are this is about standing, about nothing else, and the Supreme Court will decide how to affect standing.

before all these other things play out you don't you don't think it signals that the court is prepared to undo rovi way now you know so we can always talk about eventualities we can always talk about theoreticals it makes good fodder but but i'm kind of a guy who's in the middle of a state in which 700 000 people don't have electricity all right so you can do the law school like like debate club bullshit you want but you can't say roby way it is fine also america second in the largest state, women don't have a right to get an abortion in the first trimester. Because that's absolutely not fucking real. It's a lie.

So he's bullshitting. Everyone's bullshitting. Susan Collins is pretending to be shocked. Shocked that people we put on Supreme Court to overturn Roeby Wade have done it. She released a statement saying the law was extreme and harmful, yada, yada, yada. I oppose the court's decision. I remember she told us that she had been assured by both Amy Coney and Brett Kavanaugh that they would never did it considered Rhodes settled law.

right and that's one of those things it's like it's just like we're saying all the trust that our some of our leaders seem to have in them do you know what I mean it's like oh they wouldn't do that do you know what I mean like we we believe in working working with these people and bipartisanship and whatever and I have been assured that that would never happen and as such it's okay and it's like yeah you know now she's just aghast at the fact that these super pro-life judges that she helped to confirm are doing some super pro-life I'm fucking I hate to turn pro-life also but it's just the way the the narrative is framed now but yeah it's like this is exactly what this is literally exactly what everyone was screaming about the possibility of it happening it's what's happening right now so you can't now sit back and be like I can't believe this is happening it's like fucking Mitch McConnell up top talking about I don't it's so wild to me that that people aren't taking the vaccine it's like that's fucking bullshit you you had to know you were it was screamed in your face and you

rebuked it and now it's happening you can't act like you didn't know you fucking knew it's the I'm shocked shocked to discover gambling is going on this establishment except you're you're the middle of holding a cup of dice a hand of cards right you got a stack of chips in front of you. It's a it's utterly like the thing that drives me crazy about this is like we on the left are kind of considered panicky like sky is falling tight. We get patted on the head tell us what we see is happening isn't really happening with climate change or income inequality or wars go into shit or whatever and or road getting overturned and no it's actually going to be fine. People can tell us oh it's going to be fine and it's never fucking fine and it's it's it's

you feel like Cassandra at a certain point the you know Greek mythological character um but But, yeah, and no one can decide what to say. Like that clip, they pointed out, even the Wall Street Journal was like, you guys fucked up. This is a bad law. This is not going to play out the way you think, which we'll get back to in a minute. But they asked Caitlin Jenner. She, Caitlin Jenner is running for governor here in our fucked up state of California on the recall ballot. She's polling at 1%.

Doesn't stop her from getting all the interviews she wants. And here she took an interesting tack being asked about it. Yeah, hit that clip, man. I am for a women's right to choose. I am also for a state having the ability to make their own laws. And so I support Texas in that decision. That's their decision. I'm okay with that. But as far as being a woman's right to choose, I don't see any changes in our laws in California in the future. But you're fine with the Texas law, even though you say yeah it's okay

I am for Romans right to choose but I am for the general concept of laws well I also Caitlin Jeremy for the general concept of laws but it's not like we're not arguing for anarchy versus legislatures existing we're talking about specific fucking laws such bullshit it doesn't like

she has Trump's political team though so this kind of bullshit you're going to come out with well it's also like it's another version of that shit that Cassidy was doing in that other clip you know what I mean where he's like listen I'm pro life but like I'm not going to going to back this law. If this law is as bad as you say it is, then

someone else will take care of it. Okay? If it's that bad, it'll be taken care of. But he's like, yeah, it's just, they're all trying to do some real fence riding shit right now because I think they recognize the implications of this, you know.

The dog, I mean, everyone keeps making this point, but like, if California had done this with a different, with a left wing priority, say, like, you could see your neighbor having a handgun for $10,000. Supreme Court would have fucking tossed it out and for the bullshit that it was because it's not it's not a way you it's not a way you run a government it's like the closest analog to this is the fugitive slave act which deputize regular citizens to kidnap black people and take them back and sell them back in the south and that's like

this is you you can't let's be like okay we're we can't pass the law we want so we're doing vigilantes now doesn't fucking work that way not in a country that works anyway um so yeah it seems like Texas is uh it feels like Texas is uh giving their citizens the legal right to round up a posse and abortion posse and uh Greg Abbott the governor he seems to be all about rounding up posse uh it feels to me like because he's got a plan for if you're worried about how people how women who are victims of rape or sexual assault how this will affect him don't worry he's got a plan for it Texas is going to take care of it, and we could play that clip now, Matt, from Abbott.

It's going to heartbeat film. Why force a rape or incest victim to carry a pregnancy to drug? It doesn't require that at all because, obviously, it provides at least six weeks for a person to be able to get an abortion. So, for one, it doesn't provide that. That said, however, let's make something very clear. Rape is a crime. And Texas, will work tirelessly to make sure that we eliminate all rapists from the streets of Texas by aggressively going out and arresting them and prosecuting them and getting them off the streets. Yeah, so instead of giving women rights, we're going to eliminate all rape. Yeah, you heard her here first.

Everybody, Texas, rape free from this point forward. There will be no more rapes because they're going to round up a posse and they're going to eliminate rape as a concept in the state of Texas. Because that's how rape works. Future rapes. They're going to adjudicate all future rapes, right? Anybody that's got rape in their mind in the future, they're about to get arrested in Texas and strung up because that's how Texas does it.

And we won't have to worry about women getting raped in morning an abortion because Texas is going to take care of it. There's a lot of bullshit in there. We're eliminating rapists in the streets because he's presenting this like stranger in the bushes kind of rape. It almost never fucking happens. Right, somebody you know. Yeah. Your uncle, your boyfriend, your husband, your, uh, yeah, it's like it's, it's not how it fucking happens.

And he knows that. He's not an idiot. But he's like, he's trying to act like this is something that you'd be able to ward off a pepper spray. You know, it's like it's fucking, everything about this is so bleak and dishonest. Well, right. Well, yeah, because he starts by saying like, like, listen, it doesn't say that. They have six weeks.

But of course, anybody that has children or just knows anything. about pregnancy at all should know that six weeks is fucking nothing most women don't even know they're pregnant by six weeks like six weeks is nothing in pregnancy terms you could easily get well beyond the six week window after having been raped and find out you are pregnant and not be able to do shit about it in Texas although I guess not in the future because rape is out of the equation now because they're going to take care of it. Greg Abbott's going to take care of it. But yeah. What you've got to do is

you've got to like rapid daily COVID testing. You've got to take a pregnancy test every morning. Right. Right. You'll be covered. Yeah. This isn't going to so I don't think it's going to play out how people think it's going to. Because like I said, I don't think anyone's going to avail themselves

of trying to get this 10 grand other like maybe a couple dozen. How do you know people don't go around telling everyone their social circle or their church or whatever they're going to get

an abortion. I'm sorry there will be some fucking Nancy Grace types in Texas who point

who go to get that $10,000 abortion cop money or whatever based on somebody, you know, eating a real big lasagna the night before

or whatever just looking a little heavy retaining water somebody's retaining water and somebody like you but they people are going to go for it they're going to go for that ten thousand dollar abortion prize I think or abortion cop prize I mean they're they're going to be I mean match making the point these are from the people who tell us

the vaccine passports or a hippo violation just going to ask every woman entering her business whether she's pregnant or not and whether it's past six weeks um so I I just like I think the real like a bunch of abortion clinics in Texas have stopped giving abortions to people past six weeks because They don't have the money to get sued, right? They can't afford that. I think that's the real danger here more than people availing themselves this law, is that nobody knows how to navigate this new dynamic, right?

Which is the point. Right, of course, yeah, yeah. But people are fighting back, including Mark, the Dark Lord Satan. You put that screen grab up there, Matt, The satanic temple in Texas is not having this shit, and they are offering an out for people in Texas that need an abortion, and it's under the rights of the Religious Freedom Act. So according to the Satanic Temple, it is a tenet of their religion that your body is yours, and it's inviolable, and it's a very deeply held religious precept that abortion is a right that women have. And as such, it cannot be interfered upon by the state government. So if you would like to participate in the abortion ritual, you can seek the Satanic Temple's assistance, and they will help you out with this.

And one of the main guys of the Satanic Temple said, I am sure Texas Attorney General Kim Paxton, who famously champions religious liberty issues, will be proud to see that Texas's robust religious liberty laws, which he so vociferously champions. will prevent future abortion rituals from being interrupted by superfluous government restrictions. Satan to the rescue once again, Mark. For people that don't know, the funny thing about the mainline church of Satan is they don't believe in Satan. No, I don't. Well, okay, first of all, so you said this is the satanic temple. There's also the church of Satan. the church of Satan is different and they kind of don't hit really they're sort of in but the satanic temple doesn't actually believe in Satan or any of that they kind of exist to fuck with religious hypocrisy and troll Christians and that shit in this country I for one am very much a fan of what they do but yeah it's two different things they are atheists who like trolling right yes like the them don't know with the the very

and Satanists or like basically like their belief system is hedonism like the only like that's that that's uh so like they're so I feel like the problem right here is they don't have any actual rituals uh so if if they but I would like to watch the Supreme Court here we'd have to walk through their belief system and read the satanic Bible that'd be that that would really hit for me um but uh right because if you I mean the idea is if you stand there and say it's a deeply held precept of my religion that i have the right to an abortion you know at this time and i'm invoking this under our state's religious freedom laws like what can they say about it's like their whole thing is like oh

religious freedom is ultra important that's why we need the 10 commandments at the state capitol and we need kids to say under god as part of the pledge of allegiance that's what religious freedom is vitally important and in this satanic temple is like well part of our religious freedom is getting abortions, and then they're like, well, no, not like that. Like that, no, that's different. But you can't have it that way, right? I mean, like, I don't know. This shit seems clever to me.

Yeah, I mean, it's like it will work, and you can just ask any, uh, any Rastafarian who's been called a weed or any Native American can call a peyote. Yeah, it just don't work like that in this country. No, no. The guy with the guy with the guns makes the rules and it's the Christians in this country. Right. So, yeah, I mean, good luck. I'll be rooting for you, Satanists.

I never said that sentence before. But yeah. So the politics of this is interesting because I think everyone knows that most people are pro-life or are in favor of some form of legal abortion. The problem with abortion advocates or pro-choice advocates is most people feel ambivalent or it's, it's, It's not their top issue to be pro-choice because people don't think about having to get an abort. But most people aren't planning, thinking about needing an abortion in a couple weeks, which is like a huge chunk of people that get abortions in America are married women who already have kids. Either they find to discover a medical problem with either them or the child or they just got back in the workforce and they don't want to take a few years off from the career again, yada, yada, yada. A lot of people have people have personal reasons.

this idea this image people have that it's all like I don't know frivolous sluts in the early 20s or whatever running around just using it for birth control is but I'm not I think it was black and Mexican it's immigrants it's black welfare queens they're all just can't keep their legs closed and can't stop having babies that's what they think it is but talk about the racist welfare queen trope are kids free checks from the government or are you murdering them so you can keep living a frivolous thing? like which which one is it right right like right right can't be both right yeah exactly like yes that is such a good point if they are free if it's not if it's not a child it's a check if that's how welfare queen's work then they would never get an abortion they would get pregnant at every opportunity and have another kid so you give them another check so they can keep propping their feet up and just doing bullshit that's what they would do but so what's your problem with you should be fully in favor of abortion if that's how you feel about it right but but you know it's again i'd sooner lasso the moon than try to find consistency in the tenets of their political

philosophies that they have the uh um the i i know people who feel strongly about pro-life views and while i disagree with them i can respect them having an honest view the people have my contempt for here are the cynics who just want to be mean and troll the lips which is everyone in power here. Greg Abbott does not fucking have a sincere belief. The guy I wrote the bill, I saw an interview with him who was laughing his ass off about this, about how clever he was to write the bill to where there's no one to sue. All the Republicans in Congress, at least Annie Coney Barrett probably is a hardcore pro-life or Brett Kavanaugh doesn't fucking give a shit. He just hates women. All these people are such fucking assholes. And

Right. So many of them have probably paid for an abortion, I would imagine, at some point in their political careers, you know. The scandal that brought Michael Cohen down, he was handling the three heads of the Republican Finance Committee. He was handling their payoffs to women they'd had sex with. Literally two of the three had used him as a pass-through to pay for abortions with strippers. They got pregnant or whatever. These people don't believe anything they're fucking saying. They did the people I have utmost contempt for. The rules, the rich people always go to get abortions.

The rules never applied. There used to be this, I think it was a Reddit thread. It was just stories from people that worked in abortion clinics. And almost every story was about how there would be a woman outside the clinic protesting. And then one day she'd be in there getting abortion. She'd be outside protesting the next day. Because her case is special, Trey. She's not one of the whores.

She actually had a problem, right? Yeah. She had a right to get one. It's all the other people that are bad, right? Yeah. Yeah, it's like, dude, I've known, there's plenty of people I went to high school with that fucking hate welfare queens and all that type of shit, but get food stamps. They're like, well, I need, I need my food stamps. It's different.

Like, I deserve mine. It's a problem. They're fucking lazy where it's like, I had to get an abortion. They're fucking whores. They're sluts. You know, that's how, that's how a lot of these people's work, man. I mean, the purest essence of Trumpism, if you got to have to sum it up in a sense. sentence, it would be that, like, he cut out the bullshit and just said the government should

give you benefits, but not them, right? The government should take care of you, which is just fair and vote democracy. That's basically what Hitler pitched. But it's like, it is, they don't, it's not principle there. It's just like, I want mine and I want to fucking hurt other people. That's right. That's the core of it, you know. Yeah.

He's not hurting the right people. It's like one of the number one complaints from Trump. That was an exact quote. That was an exact quote from some lady. Yeah, yeah. he's not hurting the right people yeah so yeah okay let's get in some questions and comments over here i don't know about what i guess texas the abortion law whatever y'all want to whatever y'all want to hit us with let's uh we didn't get around to it last week you were that will wilkinson piece

real quick yeah go yeah go ahead so as a writer i find interesting that will wilkinson he has a substack i think uh or me it doesn't matter but he had wrote a piece last week about the southernification of all rural america and it was like It really hit home for me because I'd never thought about this, but like you drive an hour outside of L.A. Like if you go to like wine tasting individual, you'll hear shitty pop country music, people who wear in boots. And you'll, anybody see the pictures of people flying Confederate flags at the Iowa State Fair or whatever. It's like the South has risen again. It's taken over all of rural American culture.

And it's boring. I'm whatever Iowa, like I like Southern culture. I'm from the South, not the Confederate flag bullshit. It's all the worst parts of us. That's what the problem is. It's like they, you're right. Southern culture has overtaken a huge chunk of America, but it's only the worst parts of our, it's just the racism and all that shit that's really huge. And because I took, dude, the whole like, it ain't south and north anymore whatsoever.

It's fucking urban and rural. That's what it is. Like I've, I've toured the whole country. I've driven across most of the states and shit. and you drive from Spokane, Washington to Seattle, Washington, that six-hour trip you take, it's going to feel like you're driving across Alabama, dude. It's going to feel like the exact same thing.

I know, because I've done it. It's the same exact shit. You hear the same music, see the same signs, all the same shit. What can you take good country music or barbecue? I know, right, yeah. Learn the fucking barbecue. Buddy, I know. I hear you, man.

but let's see Missy Barber from YouTube says they see anyone they don't know as MPCs non-player characters especially people who are non-white we're talking about the whole like oh I need my food stamps or oh my abortion was justified thing

and you're right it's just like it's the same thing with like you talk about raising the minimum wage and they're like I'm an EMT you think of McDonald's burger flipper deserves more money than I get and it's like no no one thing thinks that. We think you both are getting fucked. You both should get more. You both

are getting fucked over. But people interpret it as you're trying to fuck me. My problems are different than everybody else's. Like people interpret it as everyone else is an MPC. They are the main character.

And everything is angled against them. That's how it works. Part of a subcategory of that dynamic I was talking about earlier where we all think we're going to live forever, therefore our lives and interests of the most important things is like part of this is like I am the protagonist to reality right there are no rules they're just my interest there are no

principles you know um yeah that speaking of the urban rural divide um there's a there's a great new yorker piece i want to recommend um called the other afghan women by a writer name anand koppal he basically um went around helmland province or rural afghanistan and talked to the women who live there about their thoughts on the war, and it was just a really interesting talked to a woman who was in her mid-40s, so she survived. The Afghan communist government, the rise, the Mujahideen, the Soviet invasion, Taliban, the American War. It's like, it's all the same shit to them.

It's basically it, and they just want peace, you know. Yeah. Warrior Max 2013 from YouTube says, General Lee Statue coming down tomorrow. This is in Mark's home state of Virginia, one of the oldest Confederate monuments in the country, I believe 1890 or something like that. A statue of Robert E. Lee

is coming down tomorrow. The headline of the AP story was like Statue of Civil War Hero. Yeah. I do not understand how that still happens. Like, how do you not

know to not call Robert E. Lee a hero? If you're a fucking writer for the AP or whoever put that out there. As Southerners, I just want to say this clearly 300,000 southerners fault for the union.

300,000 people evaluated the same dynamic Robert Lee did and came on the right fucking side of it and disagreed with their brothers and their family and their cousins and their sisters and sometimes their wives

and picked up a gun to go prove them fucking wrong. They're heroes. Robert Lee is a piece of shit. Sorry. All right. Yeah. Yeah, man.

100%. Let's say here. I'm looking through these over here. Oh, hell, we got some trolls doing troll shit, which is fine. A lot of people saying Robert E. Lee was a traitor, which I mean, he objectively was. Textbook definition. And a loser, also objectively true, both a traitor and a loser. Can't argue the facts of either of those things.

Let's see here. Why aren't, hang on from Kim Coussada, why aren't Southerners embarrassed about the Civil War and slavery? It's a very good question. A lot of, a lot of Southerners are taught that they shouldn't be. Like a lot of them are taught that it wasn't actually about slavery. They're taught so many things, a lot of Southern. I don't know if this is still true. I assume it is, but I know, like, when I was growing up and everything, like, A, slavery wasn't that bad.

Like, people will literally take, there were slaves who fought for the Confederacy. There were slaves who missed being slaves. You hear shit like this. And also, A, slavery wasn't that bad, but B, even if it was that bad, the war was never about slavery to begin with. It was about states' rights, the rights of the southern states to do what they wanted to do. never mind the fact that the main thing they wanted to do was continue owning slaves. But I'm saying just, fuck, the same problem we have with vaccines and everything right now, disinformation and just fucking ignorance and bullshit.

But I'm saying, like, I would say that the frame is people, Southerners are embarrassed by the Civil War and slavery. Well, dude, me and you, of course are right. No, no, no. I'm saying the reason you formulate all those lies was to try to assuage your thing. Because you were ashamed in the first place. Yeah, the, the number one dichotomy of being. from the South, every Southerner knows is pride and shame.

Like, wanting to be proud of where you're from and, you know, your people and your home and whatever versus the objective shame of, you know, where you're from. But there's a whole lot of shame. But the people that are like upfront shameless about it, they just, you know, they treat it all like fake news or like it's all not true or like it was justified in the first place. I do disagree with the premise of the question a little, but I think the entire existence of Southern Dwar and blues music and all this stuff is an expression of how much blood's in the ground

is unnecessarily spilled for 400 years. It's like there's a deep sense of, you can't consume any Southern art, not a sense of deep sense of sadness. Yeah, well, I get, dude, me and you, me and you both are Southerners, and we are both very embarrassed by both of those things. Well, this stuff gets a historicalized, but like, it was a scandal when Thomas Jefferson was,

was present, but he impregnated a 15 year old a girl he owned who was also related to him somehow. He was ashamed up to the degree that he fucking lied about it. It was in the newspapers and he told everyone it was fake news. So like he was ashamed. It's always

been shame. It's always been shame. Like it's like it's like it's just people lie and say that they're proud doesn't mean they're not deeply ashamed. We did we just like we just pretend shit didn't exist because we know it's real and it hurts. Yeah. producer matt also points out that the civil rights movement was kind of southern in nature that's another thing too is like what people like and i'm guilty because i just interpreted this as one type of southerner but plenty of southerners are ashamed and also a huge chunk of southerners are black and feel and are on the exact opposite side of this entire dynamic and have fought their entire existence for things to be different they are still southerners though you know what i mean so it's yeah

it's uh it's fucking complicated to say those of those 300,000 southerners I talked about fighting for the union earlier 100,000 of them were black and I remember back during Juneteenth I read this piece was that it was the I forget the headline the substance of it was something about the slaves freed themselves and basically by flock into the union calls and fighting for their own freedom um they black people black Americans made it black southern Americans made it untenable for Lincoln to not extend the mansprace and proclamation to out to the entire country so it was like that the Constitution Amendment

is how do you put people back in chains when they just saved the country? They just like that was made it to look like but if it wasn't

for black people in this country I shuddered to think where we where we would be as a society man like fucking most of the marches of progress

have happened because of them including you know even though the last election and shit us winning us on the left winning is because of black people

It's like fucking... Well, that's always what's galling about when people run around saying groups like Black Lives Matter or Black Americans are being un-American and it's like they're literally the only people still believe in the promise of this country

and still think it can be achieved which is where there's streets fighting for it all the time. You know? Right. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, we're out of time for this week. We will be back next week on weekly skews. We hope to see you right here.

We'll have a good time. Yeah. Check me out on tour. well read comedy.com, Patreon.com, slash track writer, all that good stuff. I'm Trey.

That's Mark, producer Matt. Thank you very much. See y'all love you. Bye.