Weekly Skews - Weekly Skews 9/14/2021 – CA Recall and a Whole Lotta Dumb

Episode Date: September 15, 2021

 We got a whole mess of dumbasses today, ranging from swollen ball fears to a hammered drunk Giuliani to Trump wantin’ to meet Biden in the octagon (and more). Also the California recall is upon us so we transplants will give y’all an update (spoiler: Larry Elder’s wild). Support the show

Hi to y'all, welcome back. It is skewsday, September 14th, 2021. I'm Trey Crowder. That's Mark A.G. Mark, sad day in the comedy world, eh? Yeah, man. RIP and Norm McDonald. I feel like we're starting with the RIP every week lately.

All the hitters, man. Two real bummers in a row. Yeah, Norm MacDonald, like, I don't care who your favorite comedian is. Norm MacDonald's probably your favorite comedian's favorite comedian, like he's that type. of thing. He's just, uh, if you like internet rabbit holes, like, you know what I mean, like following a specific topic or subject matter on the internet with YouTube videos and stuff like that. The Norm MacDonald internet rabbit hole is one of the hit in this ones that's ever existed if people have never partaken in that. It's endless and so funny. Just

click around various norm videos on YouTube and laugh your ass off for hours on end. I would recommend any of his O.J. Simpson jokes. his um him roasting keratop on the old conan show any of his common appearances most of his light night appearances all those are great he tells him bob yuker that one's really good look that one up to bicycle announcer him uh the conan's last night show taking the welcome basket which he'd never gotten around to given six months earlier yeah yeah uh that's funny the comedy essential roast we only did compliments yeah man just a legend gone on two son, rest in peace, yeah.

The gift basket, like, one thing I love about comedians is no one knows how to fail in style better than them slash us. And his monologue on SNL, after he got fired, was brought back to host a year later, is fantastic. Where he's like a year ago was so goddamn unfunny they wouldn't let me in the building. But now I'm so funny, I get to host. So either I've gotten way funnier or the show's gotten way worse. Yeah. Always kills me. Rest in peace to a legend.

But the show must go on, as they say. With us, as always, is producer Matt. This is weekly skews. I want to remind you, I'm on tour if you are vaccinated. You go to well-read comedy.com for tickets. I've been Atlanta in a couple days, plenty of other places after that. You can also support me on Patreon if you'd like. And a little later in the show, producer Matt has made us some shirts, some skews shirts.

We're going to be sharing those with you as well. As for the show tonight, we got a little update on the, circus that is the California recall. Today is the big day. And you're never going to believe this, but the main Republican out here seems to be a bit of a lunatic. I know that's not fitting for them lately, but it's true. We'll talk about that. I'm going to ask Mark for a little update on the big vaccine mandate from over the weekend as I was on the road and some other fun stuff as well. But because we have a lot of candidates for it, let's go ahead and do the Daily Dumbass. Matt, graphic, please.

Tonight's dumbass, the gentleman in Trinidad who thought he could hide his swollen balls from Tucker Carlson. What even is the world we live in? In case you missed it, rapper Nikki Minaj shared her rationale for being against the vaccine on Twitter, and it was pretty specific. And then Tucker covered it for his fans, which we will see here. Yes, she said that her cousin in Trinidad, quote, won't get the vaccine because his friend got it and became impotent. His testicles became swollen.

His friend was weeks away from getting married. Now that girl called off the wedding. So just pray on it and make sure you're comfortable with your decision, not bullied. Which seems sensible. Big reaction to this. We'll report on that tomorrow. Just the hard-hitting stuff over there. More of this guy's balls tomorrow.

Yeah, I know, right. Also, what a week that guy had, you know. we got his balls all swell up his lady left him also like I love picture in that like I thought you weren't supposed to each other before the wedding mark you can't be getting that intimate and she sees him she's like I can't marry a man with balls that big

those balls are out of control I mean quite obviously first of all this dude confided to his friend who happens to be Nikki Minaj's cousin apparently that his balls got all swollen and this is fairly transparently a cover story for an STD he got but he told it

he told that story to his now X, who was smarter than Nicky Minnaz, apparently. But if you're wondering, like, the reason I was like smart than Nicky Mina is why she might be too credulous. There's another reason she might be, have not gone to the Met Gallo, besides she didn't want to abide by the vaccine requirement. She is currently married to a guy who just four days ago pled guilty to failing to register as a sex offender.

And there you go. That's the dude. And I'm willing to bet, because New York's fairly cramped together town, the Met Gallo is within a half a mile of a school or whatever. So that is probably a bigger reason. Detective Mark on the case over here, getting to the bottom of it. Because, yeah, that was the context.

You couldn't go to the Met Gallagher for not being vaccinated. That's how this even got brought up. But, like, again, what a world. Because, like, there's probably at least a few people, I would imagine, who exist that are now, like, somebody's going to ask them, did you get vaccinated? No. Why not? Well, did you hear about Nikki Minaj's cousins, friends, balls?

And that's their reason for not doing it. But, yeah, also, like you said, this dude confides in his buddy, and now it's on Fox News. Everybody's talking about his gorge balls. It's like, God damn, you can't have nothing out here in these streets. Speaking of which, the Met Gala, incendiary, I guess. First of all, and I assume you're the same way. I don't know shit about the Met Gala. Way too, you know, I'm way too trash to even be allowed to know things about the Met Gala.

I'm pretty sure. Like, I don't think I'd do well there. But, man, y'all got a lot of feathers. What's going on? I don't have any idea what they do there. It's a reason for existing as a fashion theme. Everyone's supposed to come in theme. Yesterday was something about America,

American fashion, whatever. Nobody really paid attention to the theme. There's a weird shift to go. So a lot of Levi's, I'm assuming. A lot of blue jeans. Just cool stuff like that. Nothing out insane looking, of course. No, yeah.

I think Lil Nas X went his C3PO or something. I had a difficulty. It was like a, like. Well, he's a famous American C3PO. Yeah. so it's supposed to be for charity but it's probably one of those things where all the money goes to overhead because you got to rent out the Met and pay for all the service and shit so it's a big route anyway whole thing sucks it seems really stupid don't know what they do other than get dressed up and walk in probably one of those eyes-wise shut orgy type situations it's all rich people but uh the other big kerfuffle to come out of it was aOC who did abide by the theme she dressed in all white and she does for a lot of uh fancy occasions uh as an homage to suffragettes. But her dress also had this on the back of it.

I don't know if Matt has the picture. Yeah, it said, Tax the Rich on a dress she wore of the Met Gala. And I don't want to roast his agency too hard because she's probably one of the top five Congress people and not being an insane person and actually giving a shit about people. But she has, only her second term,

she has come down with a pretty bad case of Democrat brainworms. If she thinks this reads optically, like whatever she was going for, it's just as dumb looking as Nancy Polone. use the ice cream fridge or Gavin Newsom we'll talk about later going to French laundering and having a $12,000 bottle of wine

during when no one else can go to restaurants. Yeah. Well, what did you think of like the sort of? Okay, so when I first saw this this morning, the first thing I thought was, who, that's going to piss them off. Just immediately, as soon as I saw her, I saw like a, like I got on Twitter to talk clip,

I heard turning around, I read the back of it, and I was like, oh, law. Like, they're going to latch on to this boy. And, you know, they did. They started throwing around the word hypocrite and all that type of stuff. And like you said, I mean, you know, I fucking, I love AOC. I also am a longtime supporter of anything that really pisses them off as a general rule. But I so I guess the defense they, her and the designer have given for it is like it's important to expose super rich people to the messaging or something like that.

You know what I'm talking about? That was like how they sort of laid it out. They were like, listen, these people need to be involved in the, they need to be like confronted with this and involved in the conversation. So doing it in front of all them is, you know, sort of the point or whatever. Well, this is how deeply indoctrinated we are is like there's no rule that says you can't be a socialist and also have money, right? The idea is you make money off your labor, not off like rent seeking, right? So most of the people there who actors and musicians do you make money off their actual labor.

Right. So they are paying a higher degree of taxes. The exception to be like Kim Kardashian, who makes money off like owning a chunk of cosmetics gene dorses or whatever. That's a little bit different. But like anyway, it's like it. It doesn't. They get for Bernie for like being a millionaire off his book sales and having a second like a second like a second lake house he inherited from his dad or whatever. It's just not the same thing. You can you can you can want other people to be able to go to the doctor and also have a nice life yourself. The two things are mutually exclusive. I know. Yeah. That is how they treat. Like, we're all supposed, anybody who thinks you should tax the rich is supposed to be like, you know, living as a beggar, wearing, you know, just rags and walking around barefoot and stuff in solidarity with the poor or whatnot. And it's like, no, we just don't want Jeff Bezos to own all of space and people who work a full-time job to not need fucking food stamps. You know what I mean? Like, that's really what we're talking about. It's not that you can't have any money or nice clothes or whatever. it's we can get all that later on way down the road once we fix all this other shit first it's also way bigger hypocrisy for example for christian ministers to uh to be millionaires off their

ministries right your uh your televangelists are way huge of hypocrites no no mark that's not true because i've heard them justify their actions and did you know that by having a private plane you can fly closer to god that's uh that's part of that's what you're what Kenneth Covellar was said. I remember Creflo Dollar was literally praying for a new jet, and people were giving him money for a new jet, and a guy's name was literally Creflod Dollar. Says what he's doing right there in his name.

Now, this dude prayed for a jet, too, got it, and then he got some criticism, but he said he needed it so he could be literally closer to God. And then he started talking about how to do God's work, he can't be expected to fly from engagement to engagement in a, quote, tube full of demons. That's what he called, like, a Delta flight. Yes, a commercial flight.

That's a two full of demons. That's not what the Lord wants for his, you know, his servant or whatever. So they need to be planes. It's also a child's conception of heaven that it's up there in the clouds. So it doesn't really make any. Right. That's where God is right behind that cloud, plain, closer to cloud, closer to God. You all get it.

All right. Our next honorable mention for Daily Dumbass, mothers-in-law for not lining up for the wood chipper. So this dude doesn't have to make his kids lunch in the morning for school. It'll make sense at a minute. This is from one of the infamous school board meetings that are such nightmares around this country. This one, and producer Matt's homeland of South Dakota. Like all animal species, humans, until last year, have sacrificed their own lives so that young people can thrive.

And throughout this, I've heard phrases like, what, am I supposed to let my grandma die so that kids can go to school without mass? Yes, you're supposed to let your mother's mother die of the flu so that kids can go to school. and thrive without more anxieties and your fears. Well, there you have it. I almost like, I almost kind of respect this version of those lunatics because, like, one of the things always bothers me so much about them is I feel like they won't just actually say the thing they're saying. Do you know what I mean?

Like, they dance around saying, oh, people need to die so that the businesses could be open or whatever. Like, they won't literally just say that. but every word they're saying is alluding to that, but they'll never just come out and say it, but there's my fucker here. He just, he just laid out. Yeah, yeah.

He's not, he's not, so I ain't got to put a mask on this kid, and that's just the way it is. He's getting straight over social Darwinism, straight to just Darwinism. So I wonder. Get the ice flows out, dude.

Trip them off. He ain't having it. Yeah, I mean, evolutionary biologists have struggled for centuries over, like, the grandma problem, which is like most sexual species reproduce sexually. You do, as soon as your baby making years are gone, you do fade away and die, right? Whereas humans keep living for another few decades.

It's like, oh, well, obviously the human offspring take a lot of, like, effort to rear because they're basically defenseless into like 15, 16, 17. So grandparents are there to help you raise your kids. That was always the reasoning they came up with, a lot of them anyway. And this guy is just like, nope, they exist to die. So you got it. Yeah. Yeah, they're really just wearing it on their sleeves out there, those of them that have sleeves.

So next honorable mention for Daily Dumbass, City Slickers for not knowing that what really powers our tractors is hope. Just listen what this old boy had to say at an agriculture conference call. Yeah. And frankly, from the standpoint of rural America, you know, we don't produce carbon in rural America. We need carbon to grow our trees. and a plant and everything else. Yeah, that's a Georgia congressman by the name of Rick Allen,

who is an agriculture committee bill market meeting, I think about the infrastructure bill. So he's arguing against the Green New Deal because people that live in the country, you know, where there are trees and grass, have no interest in the environment. That river water that your cows drink out of has no interest in being clean, I guess.

Where does carbon come from? It's like China, China makes all the carbon or like just the cities. Carbon only comes from cities. So it's a city problem. We only got good air. All our air is good clean, rural country air. We've got none of that. Yeah.

We need carbon to grow our trees, which is he does correctly understand that trees are very effective by carbon capture. They capture carbon in the air and turn it into tree, right? Yay, yay, yay for trees. Trees, do good job, trees. but yeah they can't quite keep up with how much we're producing is

especially when we're cutting down the Amazon and shit so yeah he read he read the top line of how trees work and then took it from there carbon superpowers trees cray we're gonna get all redwoods

that's we're gonna get rid of global warming I like this clip but it's still ain't as good as old Gohmert asking if they could maybe literally lasso the moon pull it in a little closer or push it out a little further I couldn't remember which one

but he was wanting to readjust the moon, thought that might. They should look into that. That's my favorite. Yeah, I think it was push, because the tide are coming in stronger, so if you push the moon back a little further, then the oceans won't rise as quickly, I think was the idea. Yeah. Just need a real big space truck, drive it out to the other side of the moon,

hook it up, and just tow it out. A few more moon feet. Dude, as a redneck, I can tell you, not many problems you can't solve with a good enough winch. Let's get a winch. Yeah. The old trailer hitch. Moom stuck.

We'll get it out of there. I'm worried with our space truck. All right. Next up. Here's my favorite runner. This is a good one. Yeah. Go ahead.

Sorry. Oh, no. Next hour will mention Rudy Giuliani for a whole bunch of reasons, but most recently having a little bit too much of this old scotch, hitting the sauce a little bit too hard on the 20th anniversary of 9-11. And if you don't believe me, just take a look at some of these clips, starting with this one. Can you imagine that Tony Blankin or Miley?

How's that guy a general? Jesus. The other day, he said that the backroom Air Force base is not strategically important. I wanted to grab his, what do you have, five stars, ten stars, twelve stars? He has so many stars that come in him into his ears. I wanted to grab his stars, shove it down his throat, and say, it's 400 miles from China, asshole! China is going to be our enemy for the next 40 years.

So, okay, that goes on for a full two. Well, apparently it went on for a very long time, but that clip goes on for two minutes. By the end of it, he's literally just trying, he's looking at the crowd trying to remember people's names and stuff and just asking them how many people help them. He's like, Joe, you know. You know what I'm talking about.

How much help do you have? Right? Right? Just going full drunk dude at the wedding, man. Yeah, that's apparently a dinner they had. They've had every year on 9-11 since the first one. So, yeah, it's just like he's probably been giving that speech every year for 20 years. So thanks for the Afghanistan withdrawal from giving me a new content.

The idea that we need to be 400 miles from China to do war against it. It's like that's not how war is going to be done. And also we don't want to go to World War is bad. Plus, anybody that's trying to buy anything with a semiconductor chip than I recently knows that we need trade with China to build basic shit in America anymore. We couldn't even get PPE and toilet paper from China. So, yeah, he was, that whole thing was a full in a van. He issued a denial afterwards saying, I'm not an alcoholic.

I'm a functioning. That's what he said. That was the exact quote, which is just hilarious to me. Not functioning alcohol, just, I'm a functional. Yes. Yes. He obviously stopped himself for saying a functioning alcoholic. He was like, he literally said, if I was an alcoholic, I'd be dead by now, which is like a really funny way to say you drink heavily, but not quite too much. But I, so he did, he caused a little bit of international incident with the royal family because the speech went on and he, he did this series of things, which are, I'm fucking hilarious. This is great. She said, you did a wonderful job on September 11. And therefore, I'm making you an honorary knight, commander of the royal something, rather.

I turned down a knighthood because if you took a knighthood, you had to lose your citizenship. I know Prince Andrew is very questionable now. I never went out with him. Ever. Never, never had a drink with him. never was with a woman or a young girl with him ever ever one time i met him in my office and one time when we had the party right burney you were there yeah burney's like leave me out of him i know bertie imagine that's what i'm saying the end of that kills me like in the context of that it'd be like

right bertie you were there come on man i mean again he's literally just like it's like a scene from a movie where somebody's dad gets too hammered at the wedding and just starts doing all the wrong things, but yeah. If you're not familiar, Prince Andrew is incredibly accused pedophile and hung around with Jeffrey Epstein. A lot. A cohort.

Yeah. It is being sued by... Went to the aisle and rode on the plane a whole bunch, all that shit. It's being sued by an Epstein victim and chose to go in 60 minutes a couple years ago and give a very sweaty non-dial denial. Afterwards, the queen canceled his birthday party.

She was so mad at him. So there you go. Britishville family don't hit. So that impression was with the queen if you couldn't tell. His British accent's better than mine. given that. But so the royalists, the people who love the royal family, got real mad about this,

making fun of the queen, doing a compression of the queen, and making fun of Prince Andrew. And so he was all of the Daily Mail metabolys, and he had to apologize to them. And they did a deep dive investigative report and asked him exactly how much he drank. And he said, according to the Daily Mail, I had one Scotch. That was what he had. One Scotch. This whole headline is great from the Daily Mail exclusive. Yes.

I had one scotch. Giuliani says he was not drunk during rambling September 11th speech at Sipriani, that's the venue, isn't an alcoholic and denies mocking the queen, claims he is the victim of a left-wing smear. And then producer, producer Matt points out the title of the video clip there is drunk Rudy Giuliani imitates queen during 9-11. It's just again, dude. What even is the world? It's insane. Yeah, you destroy your whole country and economy, you know, and it's caused a series of political revocations leading to Brexit.

It's called supply shortages where you can't even get the snacks you like in British grocery stores at the moment. And your payback for it is Rudy Giuliani making fun of your monarch blit out of his mind. Giuliani's buddy Trump had a pretty big 9-11 too. He had a lot of shit going on. This one, I'm definitely going to need you to walk me through. I don't know a lot about the Mooneys. I'm not going to lie to you. All right.

So the unification, unification shirts founded by a refugee from North Korea, lived in South Korea, the move in the United States. His last name is Moon. I'm not going to, I'm not going to butcher it because I forgot to memorize it. So he claims to be basically reincarnation of Christ or claimed to be he died. His wife's still alive.

We run the organization. He died a long time ago. If you're wondering why she elizant, living by so much just because when they got married he was 40 and she was 17 always be like that you know how it is uh so it comes to america starts this hugely influenced influenced church that's a huge and regular politics because it was found as an anti-communist group to try to overthrow north korea right his age church believes in the region it's called unification church because they want to unify the korean peninsula um it's been called a cult by a lot of people um moon by the way uh spent

time in federal prison for filing federal income tax returns and conspiracy to do that. So always be like that, right? It's always about not paying in Texas. So it's very controversial. One of his sons, by the way, runs a militia compound in Texas where they carry A.R. 15s to church. And just if you're wondering, yes, he was there on January 6th. So Trump showed up there to do a paid appearance because he's going to get that motherfucking chick, maybe. So this was a little bit of that.

Donald Trump, who will now deliver us a priceless speech on Heavenly Unified Korea and the vision of peace. It was a great and profound honor to address this seventh rally of hope and to speak to you today about a cause that is very close to my heart, the dream of peace and unity on the Korean Peninsula. I want to thank the Universal Peace Federation, and in particular, Dr. Hawke Jahan Moon, a tremendous person for her incredible work on behalf of peace all over the world. Her story of escaping from North Korea at five years old at the outset of the Korean War is an amazing example of the power of faith in Almighty God. I also want to thank her late husband, Reverend Moon, for founding the Washington Times, an organization for which I have tremendous respect and admiration.

They have done an incredible job. So, yeah, so the Moody's don't just own the Washington Times. They own a car company and a bunch of media. I think they own the Epoch Times, too, which is that when you see a weird link show on Facebook about conspiracy theories and stuff, that's them. Right. So that was, so that's one of the things he did on 9-11 was to a paid appearance at a cult, cult rally. He also, um, uh, he went on newsmax.

Trump making up lies about what he was doing in 9-11 is like one of his favorite genres. I mean, there was the thing about how he went down there with taking into the rubble, which you don't have to trick my word for it he didn't do. No one else saw there. And also he was on Fox News the entire day and bragging about how he now had the tallest building in Manhattan. Yeah. Everyone, if you remember anything about Trump on 9-11, You remember that, that he was talking about having the biggest, the tallest building in the thing?

Matt's correct to me. You've got epoch times as Phelangong, which is a different cult. So, so, so he made up a new one this week, and it's pretty, it's pretty awesome. Check us to play their video, Matt. That are very possibly going to be pouring down on them any minute. And they're working like nothing's wrong. I mean, it's, they're amazing. So that's 20 years.

ago, we're back with the former president on the phone. Sir, thank you so much for joining us tonight. I want to just ask, you know, at that time, you offered to help and what a mess we had in New York City. Get us your reflection of that period of time 20 years later. Well, I was down there right after the event, and I brought a big crew of people down, and I helped a lot of other people help. Those first responders are very brave, and I'm telling you, we were hearing creeks. I've never forgotten it. There was, I think, the United States Steel Building was called at the time,

and it's 50 stories tall. And we heard creeks. I said, that building's going to come down. And two big firemen grabbed me and grabbed other people, and they just moved out of that area. Never came down, but I'd never heard a noise like that. And

it was a scary situation. But the job they did was so incredible. The first responders, by the way, the fire so his big story of not 11 was hearing no ways and then two firefighters saving they're always two big strong guys they're always big strong guys like he's the he's fast be a big strong guy also like i totally believe that i totally believe that he just continuously makes up more elaborate lies about what he did that day but this one's funny to me because like it ends with him saying yeah nothing ever happened with those creeks i heard you know what i mean but like i knew something was wrong and i let them know and they were like oh shit he's right he knows building stuff and let's get everybody out of here. But then he ends it by saying, and it was all fine.

But yeah, some wild noises going on that day. Yeah. I mean, like at least, wild shit, man. At least when Mark Wahlberg says he could have stopped 9-11

if he was on one of those flights and shit like that, Mark Wahlberg's been in some fist fights. Yeah. You know, like Donald Trump is like, I think he'd be one of his teachers when he was in high school, but that's the only thing I ever heard about him being tough.

You don't think Donald Trump can fight, Mark? There is a story. he tells, he got a place in a tabloid in the 80s. I bet in the early 80s, late 70s back when New York was still considered pretty crime-written about him riding through Manhattan in his limo and he sees two guys beating a guy with a bat. And he jumps out a limo and says, hey, cut that out. And then, of course, they do. And they go, oh, it's Mr. Trump.

Then the muggers run off. They called him Mr. Trump as they ran away. Sorry for the crime, Mr. Trump. We didn't mean to be doing crime in front of you, Mr. Trump. We'll make sure to keep all our crime away from your delicate eyes, Mr. Trump. We have no intention of doing more crime. We would never. He was basically Batman, except didn't bother put on a costume.

So he's the hero man Gotham needed at that point. Yeah, but the big guy had a huge week. I mean, he also spent 9-11, he called a celebrity boxing match between a bunch of has-beens. So it was a total, he had a bunch of 50s, I think, Paul Vanderholyfield boxing, 57 years old. Tita Ortiz, a Q and I was a Q&O. Ortiz, a Q&on M&A fighter, got the ship kicked out of him. He was a former C. retired from city council in Orange County to do this fight and get his head caved in. So that was cool.

But the one newsworthy thing that happened was the pre-fight way in, speaking of Trump getting violent, he decided to talk shit. Put the clip back. Got a promo here. From Josh Peter of USA Today, if you had to box somebody on Saturday night, who would it be? and what would the fight look like? Well, if I had to pick somebody in the world, not only a professional boxer, because I'll take a pass on the professional boxes,

that can be a very dangerous subject. But if you said, if I had to box somebody, anybody? I think probably my easiest fight would be Joe Biden, because I think he'd go down very, very quickly, very quickly. You know, he once said, oh, I'd like to take him behind the bar, and he'd be in big trouble if he ever did. I think Biden would go down within the first few seconds.

The first few seconds. All right, President Trump. Thank you so much for your time. We will see you on Saturday night. Yeah. Former president out here at, like you said, celebrity boxing match literally talking about whipping the current president's ass in a parking lot or whatever.

And they're both fucking, you know, in their 70s. and again, I can't stress this enough, presidents. I mean, I don't, you know, it's just, I say again, what is, what even is the world? I mean, how do you think that fight would actually, because Trump's got a bunch of weight on him, obviously, in height, I think. So does a, is, is he like taller than Biden? I don't know how tall either one of them is. I'm sure Trump's, you could say he's, you know, 6-5 or whatever. I think Trump's 6-3, 6-4.

I don't think Biden's that. Yeah. I don't know. Listen, I mean, sure. Yeah, I knew as soon as I saw this on the lineup, we would end up discussing who, in fact, would whip the other one's ass. No matter who wins, America loses, am I right? But I, it's not that I think Joe Biden could like whip ass. You know what I mean? I don't like look at Joe Biden. I'm like, yeah, no, he could, he could, you know, throw hands. I don't get that vibe from Joe Biden. It's just that I just can't imagine Donald Trump. ever whipping anyone's ass for any reason. I can't imagine he has any kind of competency. I mean, he could sort of like fad all over him, you know what I mean? Because he is bigger than him.

So if he kind of just like fatted him to the ground and then just sort of stayed there, you know? Yeah. Biden passes out from all that hairspray or whatever, starts to asphyxiate. Then maybe it could go Trump's way, I guess. But he ain't going to be like setting the tone with the jab or nothing like that. It's not working the body.

You know, he ain't going to do none of that shit. I think in an M.A fight, if they got to go to the ground, I think Trump definitely has the advantage, right? But if we're doing by, like, boxing rules, first of all, Joe is definitely going to do some, like, Marquia, Queensberry stuff. He's going to do the upside-down hands like that, right? And Trump's going to just going to, like, do the overhand, like, run like a kid, you know, just, like, just brawling. And if Joe can backpedal enough, like, it gets winded, I think that's how it's going. He's going to rope it open. Just going to rope it up.

It's going to run. It's going to Floyd Mayweather. A whole lot of people over here are saying that he apparently is known to wear lifts. Trump wears lift. He's six to with lifts, so he wears heels or whatnot. Other people are pointing out. Remember when Trump couldn't navigate the ramp. I saw somebody, but I lost it saying, hang on, I like this one, though. Somebody's saying literally all Biden would have to do is walk because Trump couldn't catch him.

Yeah, but we're talking about they've already gotten, walking's out the window, okay? Yeah, you got to move in a ring. like I'll do it. Nicole Johnson says Bernie would end up coming in with the steel chair and whoop all their ass. By God, that's Bernie Sanders music. God is my witness. He's broken in half. Oh, man. Yeah. We got to get, we have some politicians in their 80 is my way. My take away from this. Yeah. Yeah. We need the MTV clay ring matches. We're a celebrity death match that MTV used to do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, anyway, so they did have the boxing match. And like,

there was people that were the crowd was chanting we won Trump and if you're wondering what that representative of these are people who bought tickets to see Tito Ortiz box so it's not this isn't like some uh random sampling of America Eric B Trump's got those tiny baby hands that's right you know it's got to be a factor too I think yeah short-fingered Bulgarian yeah okay uh shit Mark we live in California let's I don't I don't have a good bead on how much everybody else is paying attention not to the California recall, but, uh, you know, it's a shit show. It's an American politics situation. So, of course, there's a lot of shit and a lot of show and it's a bit of a circus.

But today is the day. However, we're not going to know anything, right, Mark? That's generally accepted. It's going to be a while for we know what actually happened. Yeah, California doesn't really get in a hurry to get the ballots counted. It never really matters much of the presidential election because everyone knows the Democrat's going to win and just call it and move on. Um, but I'd stay wide. I mean, Democrats seem pretty cocky about this, and maybe they're safe. But I do think their decision to white knuckle it down to the line was pretty destructive. But I think Gavin's pretty safe unless this one makes sense to you this video clip.

It just depends on how many dudes girlfriends he fucked in high school, Matt Rolka. You remind me of the guy in high school who took my girlfriend, then went on to the next girl. You still think you're better than everyone else. You shut down public schools while your kids went to private school. Even now you live by different rules. You close tiny coffee shops. While you ate dinner at the fanciest restaurant, $12,000 for wine. You've lost touch with reality.

This is not about political parties. It is about you, Gavin Newsome. Recall Newsom. Bring us together. Yeah, everybody says that's like, it certainly seems like this is about something else. A little overly specific there, buddy. Yeah. So I think we've talked about Larry Elder a little bit before,

but in case you don't know exactly who he is, he's a right-wing talk radio host, who's been pretty prominent in that world for a long time. He's just always sort of around doing interviews with Fox News and shit. So a little bit about him. He has said that he would have voted against the Civil Rights Act and the American Disability Act. He literally said that the market was sort of had to have to do with handicapped people.

He would vote against the minimum wage. and he went on TV to defend George Zimmerman after he killed Ceylon Martin. He's also four reparations for slavery. Good news. Yeah, it's pretty progressive, right? Not really. Check out this. The UK was ahead of us. They were.

Do you know that the slave owners were compensated? After they lost their quote-unquote property, the government compensated slave owners. I didn't know that. Yeah. And so when people talk about reparations, did they really want to have that conversation? Because like it or not, slavery was legal. And so their property, their legal property, was taken away from them after the, after the Civil War. So, uh, you can make an argument that the people that are old reparations and not only just black people, but also the people whose quote property, close quote, was taken away after after the end of the civil.

No, fuck you. How about that? All right. Yeah. Uh, why do we, why? Yeah, we don't. I get, I suppose you could make an argument, like, you literally could if you were so inclined, make the argument that slave owners deserved reparation. But why would anyone ever make that argument? Like we don't, we don't need to be doing all that. Yeah, I mean, I think a 400-year head start on property owning all land and having built up generational wealth from owning people is a good enough, yeah, financial basis to move on with your life. And like we brought up a Reverend Moon, how it's always like that with the tax evasion and weird sex stuff.

well it always is that way and elder his former fiance came out and said in 2015 he pulled the gun on her during an argument after sex so that happened he's also been accused

of sexual harassment a few times and in one case he said he defended himself by implying that the woman was too unattracted for him to sexually harassed saying quote

if you had seen her you would know that the picture would be a complete defense I'm just saying Trump did the same thing too ugly to harass defense yeah

Classic there. That one goes back a long ways. Here's an obscure one that I really, really hit for me. It came out for school vouchers, but not any school vouchers. He wanted school vouchers specifically go to charter schools that advocate corporal punishment for parents who want teachers to beat the kids. Hey, this is America. You should have the freedom to have your child beaten by their teacher and exposed to a virus

and all that stuff. I'm starting to think you don't even believe in freedom at all, Mark. Yeah. This is the guy who's going to be governor with 20% of the vote if Gavin Newsom doesn't get 50.1. So I know we've talked about that on here before, but what, like, why is it, is it some just like archaic loophole of the system that's never been fixed or maybe a loophole isn't the right word? But how is that the way that it works? Because that could happen. If Gavin Newsom either has to be successful in staving off the recall or it'll be the top one.

of them who could be elder with, yeah, 20-something percent of the vote and now he's the governor of the state. Like, in what view this does that make sense? You can call for, you can get a recall election on the ballot by getting 15% of the signatures of people who voted in the last election. So that's how low the bar is. And people are really mad at Newsom, who is not awesome. He has been really annoying and bad at optics and fucked up various car parts of everything.

Yeah, he's not been crushing it by any means. He also has, like, one of the reasons he will never be president is because he got called a sex scandal by, I think he had sex with his best friend's wife, something like that. He also used to date Kimberly Guilfoyle, who was in Don Nade and Don Jr. He used to be married to Kimberly Gilfoyle, but not a Don Jr. So he's shown lapses of, lapses in judgment throughout his lifetime. Let's put it that way. So that, so, but basically my understanding is when they're right in the California Constitution,

The reason that was the local bar for recalls was so low, but the California politics was dominated by the railroads who had taken complete control over California's economy by the use of said things like Chinese slave labor, all right? So if a governor was too much in the railroad's pocket, it was going to be easy to recall, and that was the idea. So I ask you, Trey, do you feel like you're suffering under the tyranny of the railroads? I am not successful.

Okay, there you go. The railroad's my family's farm in forever now. You know, it used to be a real problem amongst, people. Railroads always coming through taking your shit. You couldn't have nothing. You needed to, you know. I've seen it. I've seen Westerns. Come through town. Yeah, take care of it for you.

And if that didn't happen, you were just fucked. Railroad was going to have you over a barrel. Yeah. I've seen Westerns. They come through. They put the railroad right in the middle of your rants. They make you put up barbara. You don't want to put up barbara. It's a whole wars over that. Range Wars. So, if you're wondering who's supporting Larry Elder, he's got a huge support

from a luminaries such as John Voight and Mike Piazza, who will promise to go to Dodger Stadium and personally thank everyone. Mike Piazza played for, of course, the Mets and the Dodgers later in his career, I believe. Is that the other order right there, correct? You're a bigger baseball fan I am. Anyway, Piazza played with the Dodgers. Yes, it's, uh, yes, that's correct.

I know in my head he was mostly on the Mets, but he definitely played for the Dodgers, yeah. But yeah, he promised to go to Dodgers Stadium and say thank you if they vote elder in. So how can't, you know, with a deal like that, you almost can't not vote for it, Larry Elder. Rose McGowan actress who was on Charmed She also was in the news a lot recently for Me Too stuff Because she was the biggest She was the first and biggest Harvey Weinstein accuser

And she's supporting elder for a personal beef Gavin Newson's wife where she Gavin Newsom's wife is a documentary filmmaker Who also was a Harvey Weinstein accuser But Rose says that she sent her an email Trying to get her to tone down her criticisms Because her brother works for Weinstein's lawyer. It doesn't really matter. It's a really weird reason to support Larry Elder,

even if you hate Gavin Newsom. Anyway, so what's going to happen next when Larry Elder loses? Well, big news. He already has a page on his website, say, an election, which hadn't happened yet, is fraudulent. All right? He's the, this headline sums it up. Larry Elder announces he's Detective Thaw in California recall vote results, which don't yet exist. he's already he's already been calling for a special session of the legislature to investigate investigate overturning the election that for record hasn't fucking happened uh so what i hate this so much because this is like this is just going to be the move now isn't it like this is just going to happen in every goddamn

election we have in this country for the next however long is i mean if you're if you're like a say a a minority uh uh uh political party who uh who all your hopes depend on say for example to get grab the govern the governorship of california depend on say an off your recall election where you only need to get 20% of the vote capitalizing the people being pissed of all political stripes being pissed off of gavin news and for being an annoying uh uh a tone deaf scumbagg um it would frustrate you that for example a state of california made mailed every voter a ballot i voted two weeks ago it was very easy that would be annoying to me it's not a conspiracy but it is a huge democratic advantage

to have to have people vote yes yeah i know yeah that's the whole thing dude it's apparently a major advantage for the democrats is that when people vote they win and yeah you can see how that's unfair for the republicans it really they're not into it at all they find it very upsetting we have we have to do everything the way the founders intended tray which is to minority voters, well, white voters did to be in and out like it's a McDonald's drive-thru, and minority voters have to compete a double-dair course to be able to file their ballot. That's the way that's the way the Constitution was written. So anyway, somebody asked him about whether he was going to accept the results, and you'll be shocked what he said

if we have that clip in that. Again, whether or not you win or lose, will you accept the results of the election tomorrow? All ought to be looking at election integrity, no matter whether you're a Democrat, an independent, or a Republican. Let's all make sure that the election is a fair election. So let's all work together, no matter what the results are, to make sure that the results are valid and legitimate, and everybody who voted should have voted. Let's all do that together.

Is that a commitment to accept the results of the election tomorrow? Let's all do that together. Let's all work together on both sides of the aisle and make sure that the election is a fair election. You know what, though, the elections today, and it turns out today there was a bunch of a weird shit happening at the polls. Do we have this screen? This is from West Highway.

Check the shit out. Matt, you have that photo. Yeah, it's a poll worker and a Trump 2020 hat and a wears Hunter shirt. So that guy was fired and kicked out because you can't election near the poll, of course. But he was there. So they're out here trying it. The balls on these people. Not swollen, though.

Not swollen because they don't get vaccinated. So they got nice, properly sized balls on them. So anyway, okay, well, listen, I set it up top, might get that graphic. Producer Matt made some shirts. I think they're awful nice. Look at that. I got the logo on them and our names, who doesn't want our names, on your chest. You can get a weekly skews shirt now by going to weekly skews.com.

Producer Matt is hoping you'll give it a shot. He's set all this up. He's real proud of it. We're real proud of it going there and we've got all the sizes and whatnot. And, yeah, if you're into that, then holler at it. Get you some sweet new skews merch. So with that said, I'm going to start looking through some comments and stuff over here while I'm doing that. And I'm already because I can't do two things at once.

And I'm going to try to look through some of these comments and stuff. So y'all hit them with them. But Mark, I was on the road over the weekend and I'm aware that the big vaccine mandate happened, a federal one, right? And I know that like it was a whole thing. But I don't know like how much of a thing. It's just for federal employees is all it is or what exactly happened with that? so under authority granted to OSHA for workplace safety uh joe biden has mandated i'm sure there'll be court challenges to this um that every company with over 100 employees has to do weekly testing

for uh for all their employees unless they're vaccinated so what everyone's calling a vaccine mandate is in reality a testing mandate you can opt out of by getting vaccinated uh so big fucking deal i'm sure somebody if you're just trying to annoy people into getting the vaccines they don't have to like shift to work 15 minutes earlier to get the PCR test, right? I'm sure, by the way, I'm sure the companies, because the expenses of the test and the expenses of care of the patients, the health insurance costs here are taking care of employees who have COVID will probably be able to get vaccinated, but that's the company's choice, not Joe Biden's.

Joe Biden is mandating testing, so we can go back to work. But J.D. Vance called for massive disobedience. Dan Crenshaw urged for a full-on, he said, what do you? trying to jumpstart a full on. It wasn't revolution. It was a, I don't know. I forget what a wordy, but it was, he used violent, violent iconography by revolution. Yeah, they did not handle it well.

And also, they're bullshitting. Fox News on the Sunday morning show, Chris Wallace interrogated the governor Tom Ricketts in Nebraska about what was some difference between the 10 other vaccine mandates that Nebraska has for schools and the COVID mandate. And he took all, he got tripped over all his dick trying to answer because he He doesn't have a good answer. There is no good answer. It's fully FDA approved.

It's way more widely tested in the polio vaccine ever was for as rolled out. Yeah. But the freedom, though. Hawks fan on YouTube says, how come Democrats seem to be the only ones able to make fake ballots? If it were so easy, wouldn't Republicans do it too? Well, no, because, see, they're true patriots who have integrity, and we're the fraudulent election stealers.

So that's the difference. I can see how you'd overlook that, Hawks fan. I was about to say the only times we've ever like I not maybe not literally ever but anytime it is identified voter fraud or election fraud or whatever it's always from them it's always actually some dumb ass on their side attempting it in the first place so yeah yeah they do that I don't know not we're a term for this because there's a there's a thing for like if you is one of the reason you define the other side is deviant because excuse your bad behavior right so like but every time they're in power they seem to really believe the Democrats are up to a bunch of crooked ship because they do try it. They got caught. Like, there was a congressional election in North Carolina where they got caught caught doing a bunch of voter fraud. And there were all the people that I heard about getting arrested for in-person voter fraud

for all this last election or mailing frauds on balance. We're Republicans because they assumed everyone else is knowing it. They were trying to even up the odds. Yeah. Yeah. Justin Goldberg says, thank you, Mark. Seriously, it's not a vaccine mandate. So, yeah, glad I asked over here.

There's some also. There's people saying that the damn mic is too low. we talk about this before the show every time. Y'all can't see it, but we have what levels, they're called. And on our damn screens, it looks as though my levels and Mark's levels are identical. Also, you can see my fucking mic's right in front of my face. So what I'm saying, I believe you all when you say it, and I apologize. So I try to turn it up a little bit.

I just turned mine up, hopefully they'll help. No, I think yours is okay. Well, I shouldn't, let's just not even get into it. We'll try to do better next time. I'm also some people, and I appreciate all saying this. You're saying, I should also say hit the like button, you know, like, subscribe, all shit that you're supposed to say. I literally never say that. But yeah, thank you guys for looking out for me over there. I appreciate it. And plenty of other people are saying that

the sound is fine. So who the hell knows? You know, I love y'all either way. Let's see, what are we got? A lot of people arguing about who sucks worse, DeSantis or Abbott, or saying at least Newsom isn't Abbott or, you know, just, it's a real governor's shit off out there. Let me give you an example of like, okay, so when the pandemic first started, when Newsom first, First of all, he held off on shutting things down a little bit longer than he should have. But he did, he was one of the first, it's not as quickly as he should have. But when he issued the first shutdown order, he exempted Disney's very, all the entertainment industry is very powerful from California. But especially Disney, which just merged with Fox, it's one of the biggest corporations of the world,

also owns one of the world's biggest theme parks in California in Disney World. Disneyland's California, right? So he exempted Disneyland from the shutdown order. Every whole state had shut down except for the independent principality of Disneyland like it's like Luxembourg so but then someone whispered in his ears like Gavin you're never going to be president anyway you can afford to piss off Disney a little bit so then two days later he like you backtracked him it also when he went to that maybe the restaurant was outdoors maybe texting was with technically it was within the guidelines but it was just really obtuse to go to a birthday party at a really expensive restaurant when no one else could go out to eat it's like when Nancy Pelosi got a hair did it might in within the mildly breaking the rules like pretty much everyone was doing during the pandemic. But when you're in charge, Caesar's wife must be beyond reproach, you know. Yeah.

Dragon X-Flyer. That sounds pretty rad. On YouTube says mandated vaccines go back hundreds of years. There's inoculations and stuff. I know who said, Jim Jordan said that vaccine mandates were un-American and people started pointing out that George Washington mandated smallpox inoculation. So slightly different, but basically, you know,

technically the same thing. to the Continental Army and the Revolutionary War. And he's like, I mean, he's like the first American, Mark. Kind of. Washington, the very first American he is. Other than Jesus, of course. Jesus is the spiritual first American. But other than that, George Washington, number one.

That's all just a bunch of bullshit I'm saying. But he's super American, and he was down with keeping people from dying. He was on board with that, weirdly. Yeah, George Washington's pretty American, Trey. Yeah. Uh, yeah, there's also, I mean, there's a, I mean, any, you do any deep dive in a vaccine history. We go through this about every, uh, every once in a hundred years. There's a, there's a pandemic and then a vaccine or inoculations and a huge backlash to it.

And people eventually come around. And yes, I agree with this person. J.D. Bance does need to shut the fuck up about everything. Yeah, that was Scotty Lewis. He said, apparently the voters feel the same way up there in, uh, in Ohio. He's got the, he's got the charisma of old mayonnaise, buddy. And it's, uh, showing through. I think nothing wrong with old.

Well, I mean, yeah, two old mayonnaise. That's a problem, but, you know. Just because it's the 20th anniversary and everyone would talk about it much ever again. What's your memory? Where were you at on 9-11? Let me ask. What were you doing that day?

You're in college? No, I was a sophomore in high school. I was in Spanish class. And also, not that it might, you know, but this is just kind of wild in retrospect. When I think about it, our teacher in Spanish class specifically, she wouldn't like turn the TV on or whatever. Then we left Spanish class and the whole school was like everyone else had been watching it in all the other classes. So everybody's going insane.

So it was like kind of a delight. But it's very much, you know, a flashbulb thing like it is for everybody. I mean, I vividly remember all that. I remember walking out of Spanish class. It was like somebody came in there and told her some shit it went down and you could tell something was wrong. But she like tried to just not get into it or something. We all left class, and I remember some dips shit I went to high school with, ran out of another room down the hall and yelled, we're going to war. Jesus Christ.

It's like, it's, no. I mean, like, I remember, I mean, one of the things I remember was the next day, Hunter S. Thompson had an essay. He was writing for ESPN to page two at the time. But, quote, the towers are gone now, reduced to bloody rubble, along with hopes for peace in their time. In the United States or any other country, making no mistake about it, we are at war now. with somebody, and we will stay at war with that mysterious enemy for the rest of our lives. And it was really clear to somebody, but for me and your Spanish teacher, it was not. I was just out of college and my first job at a newspaper, and I was sitting at home watching TV, mesmerized,

and it didn't occur to me that I work in news now. I should go to work with news is happening. So I totally did not get it. Yeah. Yeah. Mike H. noticed the same thing. We noticed, producer Matt point in the side. I said, man, I always need a reminder to hit Hitler.

Like, I noticed how it went up right after you sent that, L.O.L. Producer Matt put that in the comments. It's like, holy shit. A lot of people just hit like. Oh, yeah. Funny how that worked. Literally never once entered my mind until people told me to do it. So once again, in the words of Randy Travis, it wouldn't be nothing if I didn't have you. You sweet, sweet people out there. Yeah. Yeah, this has been happening a lot, not just with Abbott. And it is always pretty, it's something else. But Razor girl on YouTube says, I can't get over Abbott using quote. quote, the right to choose when talking about the vaccine. What the actual fuck. They're throwing that around.

They're all four. They're super pro choice when freedom's involved. But, you know, and by that, I mean the shots, the vaccines. But yeah, they're throwing right. They're being pretty cavalier with the right to choose lately. Yeah, I mean, everyone's made this point, but pregnancies are contagious. So it doesn't, the argument doesn't have any fucking, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. they just like it's a turn of phrase they think it's a real gotcha a real own um and uh but here's like talking about the people whether or not people are going to get the vaccines because the mandates uh it's really it's really funny you can watch people struggle their red of threads you can watch people struggle with it the anti-vaccers argue what they're going to do and the workplace requires it and here's here's a funny exchange this guy he goes i got my vaccine against my absolute morality i just couldn't afford to lose my job pray for me and my family this was very hard this was degrading to the core, an absolute abomination of my freedom, which I will never forget.

Literally, one day later, we're fine, not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Yeah, they'll cry and dry their feet, but the minute they get it becomes the inconvenience to them, they'll go get it. Wolf Dragon on YouTube says, Jim Sox, Jordan is un-American. I've just always liked it for whatever reason when people call him Jim and spell it like a gymnasium, you know? Jim's not familiar he's called that because he was a wrestling coach in Ohio State I know and he covered a whole bunch of rapes and stuff yeah I know I know you know

I was probably very much the thing that oh I'm sorry yeah we are doing a show right now you could have been talking to the other people yeah I don't know what's wrong with me tonight but yes that's a pretty wild case there and it's also like I feel like most people did that didn't even I mean that was a big story but not on the level of like like Sandus or something and it involves a congressman which is you know yeah that's why or what but it's wild that that isn't hasn't been a bigger thing for him i know people on our stop bringing up all the time but it's like you know it's a pretty heavy shit to say the least and he just i think he just rolls with it i think uh sex abuse of college age men doesn't like hit like it doesn't hit people's

Or it is. I think the team doctor was fondling kids when he gave them the exams and stuff. And Jim was told or allegedly it was told and didn't do anything about it. Yeah. Yeah, well, you know, locker room, boys will be boys. I'm sure that's what Jim was thinking at the time. Oh, it's a little horseplay. That's all it is.

That type of thing. Yeah. Or he just didn't give a fuck. I mean, I'm sure he knew that it was fucked up, but also was like, yeah, I'd rather not deal with all that so so yeah i mean like i remember how way dr asshole joe paterno's defense when uh when he was finally confronted about uh sandusky was that he'd never heard of a man with the boy it didn't even compute for him which is interesting i guess he's never heard of ancient greece i mean it was like 150 uh you know 10 years ago or whatever and you know

they hadn't invented guys yet mark when he was a kid Guys didn't get invented to like the 60s or 70, something like that. You know that? Yeah. I never told you that? Yeah. None of them had guys back then. Where my wife's from, they still don't have guys now.

They still ain't been invented in Wayne County. That's why that's my own in a while to. No, fuck Joe Paterno. Fuck all that. Obviously, I'm just dicking around. Poor choice of words, maybe, but that's not. Not how I'm in it. Live shows, baby.

Live shows, baby. All righty here. well um so yeah a couple quick reminders go ahead go ahead oh just the one last thing that not let me think about the onion was on a real banger uh that whole decade but uh never not been it's it's weird how like clearly some people see stuff like the hunter s tops and quote i threw out there and like your buddy just ran through screaming we're going to war then like the onion is really like right before we invaded iraq uh yeah they had this point counterpoint column they would do right And it was a left winger versus the right winger

And it was a this war would destabilize the entire Middle East region And set off a global shockwave anti-Americanism Versus the counterpoint, no it won't No it won't Oh god And it really do be like that, Mark Yeah It really do be like that

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