Weekly Skews - Weekly Skews – Help Wanted at The Misery Factory

Episode Date: August 13, 2025

We talk about ICE’s staffing woes even after $50,000 signing bonuses and hiring Dean Cain, and whether it’s a good idea to have an entire agency made up of unhirable lunkheads. Before that, WNBA sex toy-gate has the dumbest possible conclusion, and the Army will occupy DC because Big Balls can’t fight.Support the show

what's up everybody welcome back happy skews day to you it's august 12th 2025 uh we're recording this on monday on the left coast this is weekly skews on tray and that's mark mark like your uh hat and color scheme it's a little it feels a little like 90s to me or something like that a little throwback with like the teal and the pink and shit you got going on you know okay yeah yeah yeah i used to i had a pair of uh what did they've had a pair of uh what did they've the long skateboarding shorts you called them jams back in the day they're like really brightly colored and they're my favorite pair of clothing like fifth grade i would wash them every day and wear them every day but kids would believe i wash them so they'd make fun of me so that's a little

throwback um before we get we're talking about trump's takeover of dc plus a few other things today but I wanted to, before we get to the show, I wanted to do an update of a story we talked about last week, which is that the media finally got to the bottom of the WNBA Dildo Gate, you know, the wave of sex toy stochastic terrorism that's been plaguing women's basketball. Yes. You'll never guess, Trey, with some crypto fucking dinguses. ESPN spoke anonymously with a man who, they got on a video call with him, which we'll get to in a second. But the guy, his internet handle is Lieutenant Daldo Rain, which. I get it, you know. It's like Aldo Rain from Inglorious Bastards, but it also participation or a precipitation of sex toys, you know, mixed up.

It's rain and dildos in here. I get it. Yeah. So the way they were able to prove these reporters that it's him is like the edge kid showed him screen grabbing the video call of like them planning the thing before it went viral. So he's, you just said, Deldo said, quote, We really wanted to make memes funny again, but that's their goal or whatever. The coin is promoting is called Green Dildo coin, which is why they were throwing green dildos.

A part of this story here that I found, I had to go to like three or four different outlets to figure out the name of the coin because ESPN, which broke the story first, is owned by Disney, which will not let them print the word dildo. Right. So, like, I just had to feel like the discused commandments we're making, like, live your life in such a way as to not have a Hitler controversy section in your Wikipedia page. I think another command we have now is you cannot, if you're securitized, financialized, whatever, cannot be, if the nail of it's too puerile to put in the newspaper, you cannot be

fucking money. Right. Yes. I would agree with that. Yeah, but that being a Disney-based puritanical reason they wouldn't do it is one thing, but also it kind of helps in. not publicizing it for those dudes, right? Like, they want it to get attention.

So ESPN refusing to say the name of it is kind of funny in that regard if you think these guys are douchebags or whatever. Right, but the crypto guys figured it out because their values up 300% the past week. So it worked, right? Yep, yeah. So. Here's the real plot twist here. These guys see themselves as Robin Hoods.

They try to frame themselves as the crypto version of like script of social justice warriors. Because what they're trying to protest here is they feel like the meme coin world, which they're in, is too full of grifters and scammers, right? They cannot get the word out about their fake money because big-name people, like the Winklevoss twins, have paid Tom Brady to promote other fake crypto money, right? So this is their way of trying to grab the narrative back and get the, you know, let people know about the little mom-and-pop meme coin. That's inspiring. Yeah, according to the group, many smaller players in the space are struggling to keep up with the influence. influences, the influx of influencers and scammers, quote, we knew that in order to get a voice in the space, like, you know, when they save the space, you're about to hear some weird business stuff for the worst social justice, the worst bending of social justice language you ever heard in your life. We know where to get a voice in the space. We had to go out and do some viral stunts to save us. I'm going to pay that influencer cabal, sacrifice our souls, and the fate of our project.

Now, they started this, but it did take on life of its own. Some of the people throwing dildos were not at all involved or on the payroll or connected to these guys at all. And I don't know who these people think the world works. I got 23-0 by him with Delbert Carver got arrested at a game. He told cops, well, this was supposed to be a joke that was supposed to go viral, which I guess he thought was a reason not to get arrested for throwing a dildo at someone. Yeah, well, you know, it's the, it's just a prank bro defense. They've been utilizing that defense for ages now.

And at least one of them got shot to death finally. I can't remember the exact circumstances of it, but that did finally happen. One of those, like, YouTube prankster people, you know, did it in Texas or whatnot and got shot and died and, you know, that was okay because I can't remember exactly what he was doing, but it was something ridiculous. So, and then try to just throw his hands up and be like, oh, I didn't mean it. It was for the gram. But, yeah, is it? Does it may be hypocriticry from against standard ground laws except against YouTube.

Yeah, right. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. That's exactly what you mean. so yeah like I just like this guy thinks like virality is to like your honor my client's pleading epic like anyway

it's so fucking stupid hopefully it's over now well what is the like what is the charge for throwing a dildo in a public space is it like public indecency or something like that it could like it depends on whether

like one of them hit Sophie Cunningham I think you could call it you can't construe that as assault fairly easily but like the same laws like you can't streak in a basketball game like you're interrupting like it's just like you're interrupting like it's yeah i don't sure the specific charge but there's a there's a whole host of things available to them public disorder yeah all right well we're still do coin all the best but before we continue with this week's episode of course i got some announcements to make if you wanted to see me do comedy live and in person like I just did this weekend in Indianapolis, Indiana.

You can go to Trey Crowder.com and check out my upcoming tour days. Next up is Austin, Texas, then St. Louis, upstate New York, Connecticut, and then my yearly Ohio trick in September. But a lot of other places after that this fall and even into 2026 already. So go to Trey Crowder.com and check out the upcoming dates. Grab some tickets. Also there, there's a link to my most recent special trash daddy, which you can check out. If you are interested in hearing some good news,

in there. How about some good skews? This is the producer Matt's. Audio exclusive side projects. You can only get this on the audio version of this show. It's like the podcast version of it. Matt talks to good people doing good things. It's a nice palette cleanser here and there.

And finally, if you want to support this here program specifically, you can do so by signing up on Patreon. You can go to weekly skews.com slash more. Or just go to Patreon and search for my name. Either way, works. $5 a month to get you access to two full-length bonus episodes. It's just additional episodes of this show, and every now and then we do Q&As and answer your burning questions. So, yeah, get some more skews in your life and support the show in the process.

Consider signing up on Patreon. Now, as for this week's episode, like Mark said, we're getting into the National Guard being deployed in the nation's capital to, to tamp down. Apparently, it's turned into like a John Carpenter 80s movie starring Kurt Russell or something. D.C. with like roving games, gangs of maniac criminals and stuff, which I had somehow missed that any of that had happened. Oh, you could live there your whole life and miss it, Trey. That's the amazing thing about it. But we'll get in all that just a second. We're going to start with the Daily Dumbass though. Matt, graphic, please. Today's D.D. The people of Iraq.

for not being able to aim as well as the people of Washington, D.C. The president has been very clear that he's going to take the action necessary to secure the city of Washington for the people who live here. For all the American people and all who visit here, it's our capital city. It is more violent than Baghdad. It is more violent than parts of Ethiopia, parts of many, the most dangerous places in the world. All right. It's really shocking.

I was so hoping that a shoe was going to come flying in and narrowly. miss his head. I mean, preferably hit his head, but, you know. There are a lot of bad things about Trump, too, but having to fucking deal with this gargamel-looking motherfucker again, being devoid. Like, he's the real president when it comes to domestic policy right now. We have to, like, listen to his racist ass.

It looks like a, like, it gives the vibe of, like, a sick dead child, like, trapped in the body of the Victorian doll or something. And like, and, and... Yeah, I mean, that's pretty accurate. I, like, okay, so he's going to be, like, he's relying on

people's brains being like, well, Baghdad and Ethiopia obviously are hellholes because brown people live there and therefore brown people live in D.C. and also it shouldn't be worse than there. Like, I tried to like get to the bottom of whether or not what he's saying is accurate. First of all, D.C. is not, I think, like, there are former violent cities in the United States, including like St. Louis, you know, Cleveland. Memphis, Cleveland, Oakland, Oakland. I saw, somebody on Reddit posted the top, the current top 20 based on actual like crime statistics in D.C. is literally not in the top 20, so. Right. So I tried to like, so Baghdad aren't a ton of reliable fucking stats here about

crime, like murder rates in Baghdad. The closest I get was like 20, the most reason I could find was 2013. And he is correct that the murder rate in Baghdad at that point was lower than Washington, D.C. Here's the thing, though. Back in 2004 when the U.S. Army ran Baghdad, the Institute of a huge gun buyback program, which the government of Iraq. has got reactivated in year 2000, 2020, I think. So, Ethiopia, also as far as I could tell,

his statement there about D.C. having a higher murder rate than Ethiopia is true. Ethiopia has pretty strict gun control by American standards. You can only have one gun there, which to an American is like, what I have two hands, right? What the fuck am I going to do with the other hand? How am I supposed to do the Yosemite Sam thing properly?

It's only one gun. He had fired two pistols in the air at the same time while going Ye-Ha, if you've only got one pistol, because of the fucking overreaching the government. Right. So, yeah, like, so Trump hasn't deployed the National Guard yet. We did was redirect a bunch of, like, federal law enforcement agencies. It started after midnight in Friday morning and mainly escalated on Sunday.

It's laid by the U.S. Park Police with more than a dozen other federal law enforcement agencies, the Capitol Police, DEA, FBI, ATF, and the Marshal Service. Here's a video from this morning, I think, of the DEA, patrolling the National Mall, which I think you have to see to understand what's actually happening here, which is mostly nothing except a waste of time and resource. Was that six dudes? In blip-roved vests, walking down a pathway while a woman jogs past them, minding her business. And, like, they're wearing flat jackets, and she's wearing, like, Viori running shorts

or some shit. Like, they're a cop. First of all, if you're looking for crime in D.C., you're not looking at the National Mall. Right. I have no idea what they're going to do there. but one thing I did enjoy, I looked at the weather in D.C. today. It's about 90 degrees with humidity hovering between like 60 and 90%. So those guys are having an absolutely miserable fucking time.

So at least other 120 FBI agents were reassigned from other duties to take part in this bullshit. And like, then we quote me an EMPR story about the deployment on Sunday. At one intersection, a minor traffic accident happened between a car and a moped. And it brought at least two dozen agents running, some wearing masks and one carrying a rifle. So a car, they didn't stop anything. They just watched a car hit a moped and ran toward it. Trump had a big White House press available at this morning where he brought out like a bunch of people, the secretary of the interior, the FBI director. Pam Bondi was there, right?

Yeah, Pam Bondi said, quote, crime in D.C. is ending and ending today. And that's a fucking hell of a campaign promise there. Somebody put that out of a t-shirt. Yeah, I thought you said, didn't he say he's going to, uh, you know, deploy the National Guard or whatever. Like, he did, he said that, right? You're just saying that hasn't actually happened yet. Right.

Because I know some of the headlines and shit, I saw, so, because I also saw people pointing out, they're like, wait, I thought he couldn't do that because he didn't on January 6th. And other people were like, yeah, well, that, obviously January 6 wasn't an emergency. And clearly, this whole situation somehow is. But anyway, yeah. So, like, some context here is like, there's a, there's a bench draw happening today in Newsom versus Trump, which is the court case over, like, Trump's seeing a national guard.

They're, like, taking away California's National Guard to send into L.A. And I, they seem to be getting their shit rocked in court. A bunch of, like, high-ranking generals are testifying about what bullshit it was. And so I'm not sure if, like, what they're going to do about, if the court say this was dumb and you can't do it if he's going to try it again. I think that's, that's hanging over all this. But so I do, we didn't talk about it after they left, but, like, the deployments in L.A. Ended with kind of a whimper after a bunch of the night. National Guard troops and Marines protested, but, like, taking shits in their humvies.

Some of them absolutely refused to, like, participate, and their superior officers declined to even, like, what do you call it? Like, turn them in for, like, a... Insubordination or whatever. Yeah, yeah. It's like, okay, yeah, this is bullshit. You don't have to do it. So, like, there's, like, there's lots of, like, slow walking and weird, done,

and dumbption happening here. I do want to note on the dim side of this that the, in 2021, the House voted to make D.C. estate, which would have, you know, made a, you know, made a... some of this authoritarian bullshit harder to do. But the Senate, you know, couldn't do anything because the filibuster. The rules of the Senate are that it takes 60 votes to do anything good and only 51 to kill everybody. And those are the rules what are you expect us to do.

Yeah, right. Change the rules? You can't change the rules, even though we have the ability to change the rules. Yeah. So now, because they didn't do that, D.C. is under the control of an aspiring dictator. We had to go everybody. And like you mentioned, he's using emergency powers to do all this shit. the tariffs are emergency powers, the fucking

taking over California's National Guard was emergency powers. I've lost like, like, count of out, like, how many, you're obscure. A lot of those executive orders and shit like that were based on emergency powers and stuff too, weren't they,

like, dubiously at best, but that's their rationale for everything. Supreme Court is eventually going to have to rule that there is a national emergency to do these tariffs, even though what's the fucking emergency? Right. They can say what the emergency is. Like, the ability to, like, nationalize D.C.'s police to take command of it, the emergency that the people who wrote the law were, like, envisioning, or like, if the British tried to burn the White House again, like they did in 1812, that's not this, because the emergency, the emergencies that Trump is laid out here for the reasons this is happening, if you guys had missed it, is he saw homeless people from his motorcade, and two big balls got beat up by a girl.

yeah i forgot about the big balls thing because i saw when i saw this earlier i was like i was like in response to what like what is he where like what is even the you know purported rationale for this you know is this just literally coming out of nowhere i've forgotten that uh the horrific crime that was subjected to one of our one of our preeminent leaders in the government uh big balls in case you like that's a picture of him after we're getting beat up right uh we'll get He deals of the assault in a second. But, like, so he, before you think we're, like, wrote, like, taking advantage of his pain or whatever, Elon posted that photo. Elon is the one that docs that made him look like a, you know.

And so the first version of this story that Elon tweeted out was that Big Balls was attacked by, if you're not, if you don't know what Big Balls is, congratulations. He's a doge. He's one of the infamous Doge kids who's destroyed everything and stolen all over data. Elon said, quote, a few days ago, a gang of about a dozen men tried to assault a woman in her car at night in D.C. A Doge team member saw what was happening, ran her defender and was severely beaten to the point of a concussion, but he saved her. It's tired of federalized D.C. Now, you know Elon's lying because it's Elon saying it? Yeah.

But apparently what happened, there may have been more than two, but the cops stopped this in the middle of it happening. and arrested, like, a 15-year-old and a 14-year-old, a boy and a girl for unarmed carjacking at late, like early in the morning one night. So why was a 19-year-old kid out in the neighborhood full of bars? Because people are getting deported for crimes less serious than that. And the fact that, I mean, we have no idea what happened there, but I just basically put everything I know about him,

I don't think that Big Balls is some innocent player in this thing. And the girl that he posted came to the aid of was the girl who was with Big Bulls. So like, I don't know the truth The fact that he didn't have his shirt on Makes me feel like he challenged them to a fight So he tried to fight a group of teenagers And got his fucking shit wrecked Now it's all of our problems

And so to respond to this Trump's call for children's young as 14 To be tried for adults So basically what they're saying is We have to imprison freshman for life Because big balls is a nerd with a concave chest You can't want to fucking fist fight Against the two teenagers

I had no idea we should do this But the kids should never fucking live this down Like if he walks the corn to get a coffee Everybody should be like, well, do you need Sill Team 6 to fucking escort you, you fucking pussy? Like, this is like, so goddamn. Yeah. I mean, Cat Williams still gets it thrown in his face years later, so I think a big ball's

the surge in same fate. I don't know if you've got beat up by like a sixth grader or something. Yeah. Kat Williams is this big or whatever. So by the way, I already, well, he'll never see this. So it's fine. I'd say, I want zero smoke from Kat Williams, just so anybody. Maybe, bro.

Just so everyone's clear. But they did. That did happen. Yeah, big fan. Anyway. And all like, again, we talked about this with the, with the Manhattan shooting, but the reflex to be like, well, we need more law enforcement. Again, cops stop this in the middle of it happening. They're and arrested two people. There's really nothing more they could have done except to stop crime before it happens, which is not how fucking linear time works. Yeah, well, I'm, dude, that, you know, we've talked before about their, like, some kind of AI initiative that's sort of framed around. basically that by they definitely i mean they want minority report we talk all the time about

you know all these dystopian sci-fi movies and stuff these tech bro overlords apparently watch them and they're like man that would be awesome like they're clearly like cautionary tales but they watch it and they're like it's really got the old uh gears turning upstairs but yeah if they could you know they're trying to figure out pre-crime for sure a way that they can just like people for shit that they think that they might do it's like they want to they want to make Robocops, but they apparently stop the movie before Robocop kills all the people who created him. Yeah. So, again, if reality matters here at all, uh, crime in D.C. is way down. Like, they had the COVID spike. Everybody did. But

semi-quote here, violent crime dropped 26% this year so far compared to the same period last year. Homicides down 12% and assaults the dangerous weapon dropped 20%. These all include non-fatal shootings and stabbings. We got a fun player here, a D.C. City Councilman by the name of Treyon White, uh, who took to social media to say that Trump's not totally wrong on this one. You'll never guess, Dre. In a million years, he just got reelected. He was forced out of office because he was caught taking bribes on camera, and he's still awaiting trial.

They arrested him last year. He was called on camera taking thousands of dollars and kickbacks from a business owner seeking to help redoing his company's contracts with the D.C. government. White took $156,000 in cash. um so yeah if you're wondering when he was going to start his campaign for pardoned it's fucking started over the weekend the dude's a wild one uh back in 2018 white posted on facebook that the rothschild family controls the weather he was kind of ahead of a game on that one i feel like you know well no i mean i guess they've been saying that for a while but it just got they got more specific in the past couple years with the actual hurricane

machines and stuff that we apparently have. After like the ADL and other Jewish civil rights groups got mad at it, and he met with Jewish community leaders, and they agreed to visit the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, but he left halfway through the Notting that tour. I think I got it. Yeah, I got the gist. Yeah. So here's the real point of line to this.

The money that White helped these dudes steal from the city government was intended to fund violence interruption efforts so the money that he stole after taking a bride to do so could have been redirected to the wayward teens who busted big balls grill amazing how this works yeah there's always layers man it's always like corrupt bullshit all the way down yeah all right we got a honorable mention here for you in this daily dumb ass this week and it's ice for not realizing that Mayor McChese would never authorize the deportation of Ronald McDonald. The owner of Trump Burger Restaurants is facing deportation. Iiss says Roland Beanie, a 28-year-old from Lebanon, overstayed his visa after entering the U.S. back in 2019. He was taken into custody in May

and is not out on bond as the way its immigration proceedings. I sent a statement to K. So this story went viral. We were talking about. We were talking about it in our group chat. And I was waiting for another shooter drop to make this morning. Because we were like, is this guy, maybe the restaurant owner doesn't even like Trump. It's just a fucking obvious money grab for a restaurant in Texas who's trying to expand, right? Right. Yeah. But also, like, how do they, like all these Trump stores and stuff, you can just do that? Is it because he's the president or whatever? You know what I mean? Like, you can, like, anyone can just open up a Trump store or Trump restaurant or whatever. I mean, you see them all over the place. But I mean, because I remember when

he was on the apprentice i don't know why i remember this specific story but when he was the host of the apprentice he got a uh pottery a local pottery maker and store owner closed down he sued him because it was called you're fired pottery like you know like you fire a kiln so it's called you're fired pottery and he got that shut down because that was his trademark catchphrase and shit so yeah this is worship of him so i don't know i just wonder that every time i see one of these fucking stores because there's run into him. I'm not sure what the rules are for fair use for a person's, you know, he probably just figures that it helps him because there's so many people making bootleg Trump merch.

Like, he probably can't fight it all. Yeah. So this went like super viral. It was like a fuck around find out stupid Trump supporter story. But there's a lot more to it. It's actually the most things. Reality is more interesting than the flattened fiction of it. So let me read this headline to you.

The Untold Origin of Trump Burger, a $250,000 murder for hire plot, ICE Arrest, and Vaccine Scam. Okay. Got it all. Got it all. So the guy is facing deportation that the news story says a 28-year-old named Ronald Bini. So back in 2022, the Houston Chronicle said he was born in Boston and moved to Lebanon as a child and returned to the U.S. in 2019. Other outlets referred him as Lebanese immigrant. Fox Business once called him a second generation Lebanese American. And that TV news report said he overstated visa, which he got in 2019.

But he was associated with Trump Burger as early as 2017, according to the Houston Chronicles. So I'm not really clear. This guy's background super fuzzy, except ICE held him for a month and a half, which leads me to presume he's not an American citizen, although that's not necessarily what ICE is doing right now. So the truth of the matter is, he did not found Trump Burke, okay? The person in the Middle Eastern background that loves Trump did indeed start the restaurant in Houston in his honor, but that was back in 2016, not 2020. And the founders were a couple who went by the names Eddie and Sue Hawa. Okay. The Trump was originally one location known as Trump Cafe.

follow me so far? Yeah. Yes. I think so. All right. Hawa is a Muslim from Israel who was not at all offended, me quoted here from Houston Chronicle, was not all offended by the Republican nominee's rhetoric about Muslims or immigrants because Trump was not talking about people like him. No. How does so many people do this? Yeah. No, yeah. That's what he's like, well, he's talking about the criminals and the terrorists and stuff. And I also think those are bad. I'm a good freedom-loving patriot, just like Trump. He understands that about me, surely. Yeah. They all genuinely They delude themselves into believing that it's pretty wild. Yeah.

So it seems like the Hawa's partner with Roland back in 2017, when the cafe was failing, and they met Roland when he worked in a kitchen when they all met. So I'm not sure where they got the money from to expand to four different locations and change the name and remodel all that shit. But, like, if the FBI wasn't busy walking around D.C. doing beat cop shit, we'd probably be nice to get to the bottom of this, but no one's going to. So it turns out Eddie Hawa's real name is Iod, Audeau. Abdulahua.

Back in 2005, this is where the story gets interesting. Eddie was arrested under his former name, was arrested on charges of trying to defraud Medicare by giving fake flu vaccines to senior citizens and about 1,100 Exxon employees at a health fare. Jesus Christ. That took a real turn. Fake flu vaccines for senior citizens,

obviously very fucked up. For big oil workers or whatever, you know. I mean, I guess you still shouldn't do it, but I'm not as sympathetic. No, but they spread the disease to people. Like, I don't know what I'm saying about the whole herd immunity thing. But yeah, so the actual substance within the syringes was sterilized water, so at least it wasn't giving them poison. Okay.

So, but while Eddie was in federal detention, he met a doctor named Ira Klein, who was awaiting sentencing for, for insurance fraud where he made $10 million, scan them out of $10 million. So Klein, according to court filings, asked Eddie to help him arrains the assassin. of an FBI agent, a district judge, a U.S. district attorney, a assistant attorney, and his own wife. He wanted to pay $250,000 for that. I mean, that sounds like a pretty good deal, I guess. I don't know what the going rate is for assassinations, but if you're doing a fucking FBI agent, a judge, a U.S. assistant attorney, and then, I feel like you kind of, you throw the wife in there. Like, you pay for those three. You buy those through, you get the wife for free.

$50,000 flat rate. But, yeah, I mean, that's pretty wild. Eddie just, like, played along with this knowing he was going to roll over on this guy for just to help himself out or actually planned on doing it at first. And it was like, wait, this is insane. Well, Eddie found a win-win scenario because he'd already pled guilty for his fucking shit. So what he did was he immediately snitched and then filed a lawsuit that he should be able to keep the $2,000. $150,000 for being a good Samaritan.

Yeah. So you do not give him to murder, still get the $250K. You can start to see any deal. Start see why he loves Trump, right? Well, now that I know that the guy paid him up front, I totally understand what he was like, yeah,

yeah, I'll totally do that. And then they just go straight to the authorities. Oh, man. Congratulations. Ira Klein. You played yourself. Good Lord.

He lost $2.55. thousand dollars and still is a loving wife what a fucking bad deal so fast forward to trump burger in 2025 all right uh bany and the the hawas and a few others involved in the trump burgers around houston are involved in a bunch of warring lawsuits like a six-way legal battle over like they over like broken leases and pay rent a baseless eviction a baldment of a transfer liquor license breach of contract false representations and quote commandeering business operations accusing each other stealing Trump burger from each other. And let me quote here, I'm doing my best to put him in jail, Sue Hawa said about Ronald.

I don't need these people in our country like this. So the real story here is not a Trump supporter fucking around and finding out not in the way you think. It's that all these people legitimately love Trump because they're fucking grifting business weasels just like him and he's their idol. And my guess here is Sue basically confessed to their weaponizing ICE to try to take out their business rifle. right yeah i mean you know it's a strong move if you're in a position like that if you're dealing with another immigrant who you don't like or whatever i feel like it'd be pretty easy to get ice to come fuck with just about anybody right now what's a snitch always a snitch man turns out all right we got one more honorable mention for you and it's non latinos for not having the special back muscles

that make them superior for farm labor matt video please These people, you can't replace them very easily. You know, people that live in the inner city are not doing that work. They're just not doing that work. And they've tried, we've tried, everybody tried. They don't do it. These people do it naturally, naturally. I said, what happens if they get it to a farmer the other day?

What happens if they get a bad back? He said, they don't get a bad back, sir, because if they get a bad back, they die. It's a certain thing, isn't it? You know, he's a very... You know, in many ways, they're very, very special people. Okay. Okay. Back to their country.

I let fucking super CNBC anchors. Like, wait, we're supposed to be one of the non-racist networks. How do we get this back on track? So, yeah. We apologize for just a lot of thought there. It's like, we have to keep some of the farm workers because they have super powerful backs. And we've tried to bring back slavery and make the black people do it. But we can't do that.

So even though we've tried. So unfortunately, we have to, these are very special. You know, like, yeah. I know. You understand. Like, they make very, they're ideal for, you know, exploitative labor. Like, you know, they make great slaves. We do it. But, you know, technically it's not slaves, because obviously that's bad. But I'm just saying they're an ideal race in many ways. If you have very menial tasks, you need to repeat it over and over again for your own enrichment, I would recommend them. Yeah. Yeah. So I wanted to talk about ICE's staffing woes for a second, but it's not just ICE. The federal government struggling with a lot of that stuff is partly because Doge fired a bunch of people.

We're fired as a wrong word. They're paying them to stay at home while they forget a way to legally fire them, which is a really good use of resources. And also a lot of people resigned, you know, in protest and or went to find jobs that break their souls less. And here's Jeanine Perra talking about how no one wants to work anymore in fascism. Judge, I've been hearing from my sources at the DOJ that there is a very, very big problem with staffing. assistant assistant attorney generals on down saying we have great plans

we're doing great things but we're down like two third staff yeah I'm down 90 plus why is that 60 investigators why because nobody cared I'm telling you right now nobody cared enough to make sure that office was running I'm going to have that office

running if you want a job in the nation's capital in the premier office the largest UF attorney's office contact me I love it so she's She's trying to recruit from Fox's audience, which is the average age of 67 and has IQ of an 84 to be prosecutors in the D.C.'s, you know. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, well, again, it's like you said you already reference with the Doge thing. Like, they came out the gate this time around, this administration, like, that was part of their whole thing, cleaning house in the government or whatever. Now, a few short months later, they're like, we can't get anybody working in the government to do all this, to do all of our fascism stuff that we want done. you know people signing up and you're talking about the median age of you know who that was directed at but they just did ice just did that didn't they um yeah they released all removed all age limits or requirements or whatever and so they was 39 and they lifted it to i forget how far they lifted it just removed it all together there it is yeah so yeah you can get a pap all and well you like you do like a lebron and brawny thing but for times against

humanity. Yeah. That poster that bad just put up it was tweeted out by Homeland Security with the with the caption we're taking father's son

bonding to a whole new level. It's got two white dudes of course in tactical gear. It's basically like joint ice instead of taking a bath with your dad. I just like the wanting repairo man

it's like the fact that they fucking got rid of everybody and made it like a morally gross enterprise to work at just complaining that nobody works. there anymore except the guy who pours rosé in her funnel it's fucking wild to me so so christie noem's

uh christie noem's version of this they they said that she says they've got 80,000 applications for 10,000 jobs at ice but they must be the most illiterate assholes in the world if they're pivoting to try to hire an ancient level guys in their 50s right um like i how do they have the manpower to send ice to also patrol dc as police I can't do all this. They seem to be all over the place. And they've been ramping up heavily, or that's what they've been saying. Well, and I know you're about to say this, but I mean, for one thing,

Dean Kane has come to the rescue. So that helps a lot. That alone, you know, at least is a big morale boost. I'm sure to have Superman joined the ranks. It's, it's, like, I know, like, we make fun of them a lot for their, there's shallow bench of celebrity endorses or whatever. But like using Dean Kane as like an avatar

for a cool guy who's joining ICE. So like he was, if you guys aren't familiar, he was the lead on an ABC rom, like a romantic drama comedy series called Lois and Clark, which is like a lighthearted like, you know, romance version of Superman and Lois Lane,

right? And 90, 1994 or something? Earlier than that? I don't think it was earlier than, that. I would have thought, yeah, late 90s, I guess, late 90s, early 2000s, maybe, but 30 years ago. And so, let me quite, we put a bit of video announcing this. Hey, everybody, he's 59 years old, by the way. Hey, everybody. Dean Kane here. For those who don't know, I'm a sworn

law enforcement officer as well as being a filmmaker. And it felt important to join with our first responders to help secure the safety of all Americans, not just talk about it. He's like a, like a reserve police officer in like Idaho, I think, which reserve officer means like you volunteer if you do a couple hours a month they're like like doing like security at like a county fair or some shit i don't even know if he's been doing that so ice is offering $50,000 bonus signing bonuses to people uh they're they're given new ice recruits student loan forgiveness yeah yeah it's like well like it's like socialism is cool if if it only it only when it's tied to you know hardcore authoritarian and

fascism also and racism and all these other isms that do hit for them. If the socialism is in service of that, of those isms, then they're, uh, you know, now something to be applauded. All this big government shit too, you know, like

so blah, all of this, all this D.C. stuff and the ice stuff and everything. It's just it's the party of big government doing all of it. Yeah. And I, and I know the counterpoint this. And I, like I, I, it's a bad reflex to be fair to be like to be like to be bullshit but like they're working

for it's different than just giving it to people like conditioning it on public service and like but they're also trying to they're the same programs exist for like people who do social work and teaching and stuff and they've been trying to shut those down for years so no student loan forgiveness for teachers but student loan forgiveness for like head cracking goons um so as offered also briefly tried to offer cash bonuses for rapid deportations so everybody got mad of them for that But, like, they're, like, a few weeks from offering to pay for scouts and human ears. Like, if you just show up with an ear necklace, you can retire. They're also, like, they're repurposing, they're so short staff.

They're repurposing FEMA people to be deployed to ICE, which I think we've talked about before. These are people who, God damn, let me read here from the story. A number of employees with the Federal Emergency Management Agency were informed via email late on Tuesday that they have been reassigned, effective immediately to ICE. The workers had seven days to accept the assignment under threat of being removed from the civil service. According to sources familiar with the matter, those reassigned were probationary employees with less than one year at FEMA, who, because of presumed weaker civil service protections, were fired early in the Trump administration, but reinstated after a court order. Laid matter or federal agencies, these employees have been on paid

administrative leave for months among the over 100,000 men and women across the federal government who have been collecting a salary yet doing no work. So, These people joined FEMA, an agency that helps people. Right. And then get told, we're transferring you to the most hurtful of all agency. The agency whose entire purpose is to hurt people. Yeah. It seems like there wouldn't be a lot of overlap there.

Like, you're like, I was wanting that, you know, hand, you know, ladle out soup after hurricanes or whatever. But I guess I'll settle for cracking teenager skulls and fucking. in South Florida. That's basically the same thing. They have hurricanes there sometimes. Maybe they'll also be a hurricane while I'm cracking skulls. And then I get a little taste of what I wanted to do. Yeah.

But yeah, but you said at the end of that, that the people you're talking about haven't even been, they haven't even been work, like working every day. Like they're... They've been sitting at home. Like, you know, in cops and movies, they get paid leave for shooting somebody. They said to go on a paid vacation. So it's the same thing.

They've been sitting at home, collecting direct deposit while the government tries to figure out a way to fire them when they wanted to work to help people in exchange for their salary. And it's not like they're having been in a federal emergencies in the past few months while they've been sitting at home getting paid to do nothing.

For context, the little hill country update after the flooding there, people there are still finding body parts, like in their yards and bushes and shit, that no one has picked up. There is a big like a city council meeting or a town council hearing where

people would just scream at their public servants about how like no one's been picking up these human remains. Because basically what they do is if they find a body part and it DNA matches, they call off the search for the rest of the person because they don't have the resources to continue looking or don't want. Right. I don't fucking know. Maybe the federal administration just doesn't give a shit.

And also, this thing is happening in Texas. We're not talking about the stupid redistricting fight right now, but like forget left-rate ideology here for a second and think back to the original purpose of democracy, which everyone seems to forget, is just basic accountability for governance, not left, right, but do you do a good job or not? Right, right, right. So they're not picking up, they're not picking up strewn body parts that have been left in these people's communities, but they are trying to redistrict to make sure you can never vote them out, no matter how many body parts they leave in your yard. Yeah, I don't know, you think they would be more concerned, you know, I mean, it's like you said, I think about that

all the time. It's like I when we whatever the we harp on like the Democrats all the time on this show for not doing a good enough job or for pissing us off or whatever. And it's like I just would appreciate the same level of objectivity from everyone where it's like you said it used to be about are you hell are you making things better or making this country better or whatever. And I guess a lot of people think that he is by getting rid of all the brown people or whatever i don't fucking know but i know that in their in their towns and in their lives i know shit's falling apart more every day and then places like this they have um

you know legs floating in creeks and whatever and it's uh you just think that would amount to a dang on the old report card uh but i'm not sure that that's going to happen ever yeah so they just go ahead to pivot back to like so ice is short staff right so who's left working there uh there's always been a cultural defied between ice you got the ero people you got like you got the professional investigator side of ice the people that up until trump was reelected working like stuff like human trafficking you know customs enforcement interdiction for smuggling operations stuff like that they're the

they're the ones who like do stuff that most people think is useful or good then you have the ero that are the goons who just fucking tackle people in the street and historically the other people look down on the ERO people

right now they're all goons but you got a mix of people either half-assing it or are too stupid to be good at their job they're also like know that people hate them

which is why they were why they're wearing the masks and stuff and like they're not they're cowards to wear the masks but the way this manifests itself from the ground is you got ICE employees who are

And other federal employees who are tasked To work for ICE who are afraid Partially because they're cowards And they don't want social stigma They don't want their pictures floating around the internet And probably because people have shot them Because what they're doing is evil Right

I know well that's what I was about to say It's like I get I get that if everywhere you go Everyone hates you that you You know you like Would try to hide from that or would want to If you can but I also feel like You like how do you sleep it

night like if everywhere you go everyone hates you are you not going like maybe it's because I'm doing a bunch of like repulsive shit that people don't like you know but just I don't know I just feel like I would be bothered by that I don't think all these people are in their off time or in the previous times

or like sociopaths or just because they're being tasked to do bad stuff does not mean they're bad like history's littered with good people doing bad things everywhere all the time right so like but these people are going to have guilt and trauma and PTSD and stuff that they should be considering a strike because a lot of these guys are going to kill themselves or be forced to quit before they get their pensions.

I say guys. They're, of course, women, too, but you know what I'm saying? So, like, so they, somebody in their organization should be thinking ahead, but they're not doing that. But so my, the toxic cocktail here is you got people that are cowards both to the public and to their bosses, not standing up. They're not that bright. or being forced to perform not that bright

because each field office has been given a quota to arrest 75 people a day a day. So they've got the ticking clock hanging over them. It's just a bad mix. So I read a story about you also added corruption because no one in talk cares to get to in second. But like I read about this

guy, you're not going to this fucking dude, he works at a car wash in Los Angeles, okay? He's an American citizen, if that matters to anybody. he got because ice is afraid what they do is they swoop in they kidnap everybody

sort them out later to take him somewhere else to go through and figure out who's a citizen or not this guy's held for hours they eventually get to him he has a driver's license and he tells them he's an American citizen they take him back to the car wash he goes back to work another ice unit

swoops in and kidnaps him for the second time that fucking day because they have the same quota and a fucking deadline. Right. So this one guy was the American citizen counting towards two arrests that day. Yeah. And like, so then on the corruption part of it, I read about this story. He gets off work, goes in his house, and he goes, opens a shower curtain and

ice is behind it and grabbed him and they arrested for a third time that day. He just keeps, they just keep popping up everywhere he's at. Like, if they put this guy on the payroll and let him agree, and he agrees to be arrested 75 times, a day he can meet the quota. Yeah, it still counts, yeah. So, this, this restaurant, you sent us a video from your neighborhood. Do you want to describe it, Trey, what happened? I was going on in it. Yeah, there's an Italian restaurant that was literally just around the corner from the house I used to live in, which is not far from the one I live in now in Burbank where they, uh, my wife sent me a video. Somebody took on a cell phone of ICE raiding that restaurant. And the first thing

that happens in the video is they roll up to the front door. there's like 15 of them or something. The first thing they do is take one of the little claw hammered tool, you know, head basher things they got and rip the cameras down, destroy the cameras on the restaurant before they go in and do anything else. It's like that's the very first thing they do. And it's like, what reason is there for doing that that isn't, you know, gross and nefarious and everything? Or at least, you know, C-Y-A for nefarious doers, you know.

There's no legitimate reason for law enforcement that he's smashing anyone's private property where they're not committing a crime, much less the video surveillance that's owned by this fucking restaurant to like to keep it on what's going on. I don't like being surveilled either, but you are the fucking surveillance, motherfuckers. So I wanted you to mention that because like there's a restaurant and a cranberry township, Pennsylvania, which is in the western part of the state. I think like 50 minutes outside of Pittsburgh. They, federal agents stormed into a restaurant called Emiliano's, a Mexican restaurant, and they, the people at the restaurant, they also watched video of it. I don't see where they have any reason to lie, and the cops are still there in the restaurants, they didn't have time to stage anything, is they, quote, stormed a restaurant to show a force and went far beyond anything reasonable, humane, they didn't just detain people, they rated the heart of her business, tore through our spaces, and left behind a trail of fear, confusion, and destruction. our kitchens were flipped our walk-ins were emptied food was trashed doors broken lives were shattered they left the kitchen on fire they took all the food on the fucking walk-in they just stole it yeah what's up with that it maybe didn't set the kitchen fire on purpose maybe they're just trying to cook carnitas and i'd say yeah they were just like tortillas i like torteas might as well just steal from these people while we're you know i mean once you're doing all the shit that they're doing like you know what's adding in a little uh

theft in there. You know what I mean? It's like, that's not so bad compared to the other shit that do every day. When you're doing your crimes against humanity, you might as well mix them a few crimes for profit. Yeah, regular old crimes. Yeah.

I was like, I've been seeing a lot of like ice activity in like Western Pennsylvania. And I was like wondering like why. Obviously they're focusing on cities and states that are like involved potential 2028 challengers. And Josh Shapiro is definitely trying to be on the list. So that's part of it. But also like, then I came across this.

there's another town about 30 minutes away from cranberry uh cranberry town and also like when you when you start pitching uh like trying to say that a town like named cranberry township has dystopia going on yeah right it doesn't sound believable it's like we got to send ice into whoville or something yeah uh so there's a town about 30 minutes away called ambridge uh in pennsylvania it's named after the american bridge company steel mills it's like the the exact same of like we'd You think of, like, dying steel mill Trumptown fucking... Right.

Yeah. Alachian. Yeah. It's just in the Ohio River, about 45 minutes north of Pittsburgh. It's closed doorfronts, all that shit. But in recent years, it's going to influence... Immigrants, and they had, like, two Latino supermarkets open, a Spanish-language bookstore, kind of by Venezuela refugees, and a Puerto Rican on barbershop.

And then, like, so there was a recently a big profile in a magazine called... called Pittsburgh Latino Magazine about how great things are going, how happy the locals are there to have them. So apparently somebody in law enforcement read that and got super fucking pissed off. These, you know, Latinos were living unmolested and making life better for the people they live with and decided he can't have that. So they've cracked down on Ambridge and all the surrounding areas. The local police in Ambridge are cooperating with ICE and taunting the residents.

So it was like a local civil war between the people that live there and the cops whose salaries they pay. right so yeah that's what's going on Pennsylvania I don't fucking we did episode a couple years about Democrats obsessing with trying to out fund cops and like they're building the cop city in Atlanta and all that shit oh yeah yeah and we're like this is not going to end well

and you guys don't understand you cannot buy cops into being on your side because they are a white right wing political group they're not there's no other way to think about them you're just fun like I'm trying to think of a parallel thing. It'd be like if like Republican Party was like using a bunch of taxpayer dollars to fund Greenpeace or some shit.

There's no, there's no parallel. And like the tech, like I just wanted to go, like I went to list some stupid dumb ice shit that we're using taxpayer dollars on wasting valuable, you know, climate change is still happening out there.

I don't want to time to think about it right now. But like, the people that are still working, for ICE and Border Patrol apparently appear to be you know experimenting with their own

fucking Panopticon powers there's a board patrol agent who's walked around wearing meta smart glasses to have an immigration raids in L.A. I have no idea whether he's using AI for facial recognition

or whatever or whether he's authorized to wear them. No one knows whether they're his own glasses or whether they're state issued. But the fact that Mark Zuckerberg is getting in on this fuck I find like just just all the dorks man line them up dude yeah no it's not going well it's like i said earlier they just it's all the worst parts of any kind of futurology that is ever exactly i mean that the the an ice agent wearing the smart glasses or whatever is not it's just a couple of steps

below that there's a black mirror episode that is essentially that the soldiers wear these helmets that have like a heads up display on them and it makes refugees look like vampires or like monsters like evil that they and so they you know she's like ah they freak them out and they you know they shoot them and they don't feel bad about shooting them but it's the it's just the visor that may in reality they're just like cowering and hungry and whatnot you know it's the uh classic black mirror shit it's the glasses from they live except for revealing who's a lizard person yes it like puts the snapchat cat filter on people yeah but for dehumanization uh but yeah

Yeah, that's definitely where we're hitting. I just like, these guys, like, the biggest dork to ever live, a Border Patrol agent who looks like a fucking California surfer dude, has decided single-handedly to escalate the Panopticon as an entry-level cog, who's just as likely to be at the gun end point of this fucking crackdown eventually. Like, you're not in leadership yet, bro. I don't know how these guys think all this ends. Right. I've had this on my list to bring up to Corey on POA for a while, but it's like a concept for a prison, right, where you never know if you're being watched or not.

Yeah, it's like one guard or one tower position can surveil everyone, and you could be surveilled at any given time, but you have no way of knowing whether or not you are. Right. So that applies to the way that they want, you know, society to operate. It's a metaphor, but yeah, like it's like the Panopton is a physical. literally is a physical prison where one guard can surveil everybody at the same time. I'm not sure how that design works, but somebody's probably working and try to figure it out.

Because you can't afford to be you're going to need the pen out if we can't afford prison guards. You have to send them all out to do ice. So the last thing I want to get to really to immigration. A couple of different like civil liberties organizations

and journalistic outlets that got a hold of like they have foyer some records from local police departments in Texas and discovered that they are having data shared with them from cameras at Home Depot and Lowe's parking lots that these AI cameras read license plates. It's a company named Flock Safety. They basically scan license plates and run the AI databases looking for people that have been at other locations where other crimes happened. And these cameras have been installed in 4,000 cities across 42 states.

Flot, for its part, says that private subscribers are key. keeping their data secret and they don't really know how it got to the hands of local Texas cops. But if local Texas cops have it, I guarantee the federal government has it. And the lows in Home Depot people, it seems to be for lost prevention efforts, basically like if a car has been at other locations where shoplifting has happened. Right. They go to watch the people in the car. I know. That's what I was about to ask. What are they even using it for? I'm like, bro, if you're a security guard at a Home Depot, if you can't stop somebody from shoplifting lumber.

Fucking find a new line of work, man. I don't know what to tell you. Like a drill, nobody's putting a drill down their pants. Jesus Christ. So, and all these companies, man, everyone's so short-sighted. If they thought about how this data,

like, put their customers in danger, whether it's cops, like, cops get caught stalking their exes all the time. Yeah. Forget the fact that it's ICE targeting yard workers. Who do the things doing, who do things coming to their store?

Who are the contractors I think are buying lumber and shit there? they're snitching on their own customers right yeah yeah no i think about that part of it all the time too it's like we talked about it about that clip earlier with trump they talking about them and the farm labor and stuff it's like i i get that it's cool to hate immigrants or whatever if you're on the right but like so many of these people you use them for shit all the time and know that or should know that. So you just think that at some point

that they would, you know, speak out against it even for their own selfish reasons or whatever. But. Because there's, these people, you know, there's a massive part of the underpinning of how this country runs on a day-to-day basis.

And you're just ripping that out. I also, like, like low, lows in the Home Depot, cracking down on criminals. It's so funny because I work construction. Do you know who does fucking construction? Criminals exclusively. Yeah.

I once worked a job with a guy I think I brought up my dad's friend Peg Leg before. He had a, like, he had a fake leg, he did a fun bit where he'd unfold a knife and stab himself in the leg in front of people who didn't know his leg was fake. Yeah. I always said, he got, he sold literally trash bags full of swagweed to people. That's how he's like

supposed to support his income. But like, anyway, way, if you're a woman who needs to be plastic sheeting, a shovel, and lie, because you need to get rid of an abusive ex-husband, shop a local mom and pop. That's my final recommendation for today. Flock Fritz part, by the way, is branching out of facial recognition and bought a drone startup. So they're definitely trying to pivot from just reading license plates to making the eye in the sky reel. Oh, dude, the fucking eye in the sky is coming. Like, there ain't no doubt about that.

I feel like that it won't even be that long before we got that shit going on. But the country's so geographically, I know they'll just surveil the cities and probably quote-unquote problem areas. But like, so, but like the thing is like, we invented all kinds of things to be the fake guy in this guy. You know, we invented religion, the man in the clouds, Santa Claus, Elf on the shelf to like to make kids feel like they're being watched so they'd be good all the time. So basically we're replacing God and Santa Claus with AI drones.

so we can tell kids they have to be good or quadcopter is going to shoot them in the balls with a fucking beam bag around so there you go. Yeah, but you know, and if you get shot in the balls by a quadcopter though, you probably it'll stick with you, I imagine.

Have you seen them real quick before we go just because they got eye in the sky drones play a part in that movie? I think it's the, yeah, have you seen upgrade? You've seen the movie upgrade? This is a recommendation for the audience as well. I'm not just starting a prime time.

It's a green movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it takes place in the near future, and there's a drone. That's not what it's about, but it's part of it and it made me think of it. But anyway, it's like a cool, I don't know how much it costs, but it's like a smaller budget, sort of indie-ish, but sci-fi movie that's done well with a good concept and shit. So I recommend that to people. Yeah, it's a good movie. I mean, it's been a while since I watched it, but I remember enjoying it.

Yeah. Yeah, all right. Well, that'll do it for us this week. I do want to remind you very quickly, though. Again, go to Traycrowder.com and come see me on the road, please. And check out the special Trash Daddy if you haven't. Also at Traycrowder.com, you can get good skews, producer Matt's audio exclusive on the audio feed of this show. So the podcast version, you want a nice good news palette cleanser.

And finally, support us on Patreon if you want to get two extra bonus episodes a month for $5. WeeklySkews.com slash more or go on Patreon and search for my name. Either way it works. But as long as you keep listening on skews days, we'll keep showing up and we'll see you here about seven days from now love you bye cute