Weekly Skews - Weekly Skews – The Minnesota Assassin: An Untalented Mr. Ripley

Episode Date: June 18, 2025

On today’s show, America did the impossible, we somehow made parades more boring. Then we break down the life and many careers of the Minnesota assassin, who seems to have confused the whole world with one weird trick he invented: Lying On His Resume. Support the show

Hello and welcome everybody to weekly skews. I'm your host, Mark Aegee. That is not Trey Crowder. That is Corey Ryan Forster here filling in. What's up, Corey? Thank you for talking about. Hey, buddy, you're right. I'm not Trey.

There's Trey, though, on a shirt for putting on airs our podcast that you should listen to. You told me not to shill. Here I go. As your screen names, we love Corey, which is you love Corey.com. which is your substack, right? Yeah, it's by Patreon where you can get all sorts of things. It's great. Okay, we'll get to that a little bit.

I wanted to, so, Trey is in New York working, I guess. And so a little behind-the-scenes stuff here. Trey forgot to tell us that he wasn't doing the show until last night. Actually, what he did was he forgot that we have a show. These are part of called Weekly's Cues. When I sent him at him out of text, my normal son, day Texas show is ready. What time do you guys

will record tomorrow? He goes, oh shit, I forgot. I forgot. I can't do it. And then he's scrambling at like, I don't know, 11 p.m.

East Coast time trying to figure out who the fuck's going to sit in his chair, right? Yeah. Which means he just texted me and was like, you're doing this or you're fired from everything else we're involved in. Here's a funny part about this,

okay? So he says, I can't do it. Let me get Corey. And I go, wait, hold on. What do you fly? And the one thing I've learned about my personality

is whenever I have any sort of follow-up questions, people assume I'm being a fucking asshole. Okay. Because someone's got me fired from a job once, so I realize this is how people see me. Because they'll be like, your boss tells you to do something. You go, hold, wait a second, why are we doing it this way? And I think you're being an insubordinate

asshole. But also, like, my wife, my wife and I have been together with 13 years, and she still does that. She's like, hey, we've got to go do this. I'm like, wait, can we, is there another, is there another idea? I'm so glad it's not just me. I'm so glad it's not just because I have to, I constantly am having

to go, well, whoa, whoa, no, no, no. I'm not saying I won't do it. I'm just trying to game out if there's an easier way to do it because that's how I'm right, because that's how I'm wired is to work smarter, not harder, because why wouldn't you? Right. So like, so like when, when is, I'm going to get Corey, I'm like, hold on a second, like, when are you flying, when are you back, yada, yada, just to ask the thought questions to see if we can, if Trey Crowder can still be a part of the show that has his fucking

name on it, right? Because we can move the taping time. And he gets defensive and he goes, I've done the last two. which is like perfect fucking lazy hippily shit is like hey i show up for work two days in a row what do you want a third you know what's funny is that he's about to do the same thing to us because i he texted me hey can you do skews and i was like oh i actually needed a favor from tray so i'm going to say it now i said hey yes i can i've been meaning to ask you can you do putting on airs early this week because i got to fly to california and he's like we can go early

Wednesday, but I'm going to be traveling all day Tuesday. And I just said, okay, cool, early Wednesday's fine. That means that he's not going to be there to record well red, and he still hasn't told us that. But, you know what I mean? He sucks. He's a piece of shit. You'll never hear any of this.

No, of course not. All right, so we got a lot of show. Today, we're going to talk about the Minnesota assassin who is a fascinating type of guy. Randy Malsh. No, no, the guy who killed two people. Oh, shit.

it. Okay. This is going to be fascinating for you, but you've been at the beach. Yeah. Okay. This guy who's a Pentecostal wannabe televangelist slash grindset LinkedIn hustler. Liberal? No.

Right. He apparently is fooled. He managed to fool everybody for like going on 36 hours about the nature of his character and personality because he lied on his LinkedIn. Just fascinating shit going on. Anyway, before we get to that, before we get to that, we're going to talk about the parade. But first, I've got a little, God damn, it, Trump's birthday parade. Oh, it was his birthday? Happy birthday. Yeah, yeah.

Okay, God, I want your life. You just sit at the beach, not knowing that the society's collapsing at all around. I knew all of this stuff. This is my bit this week. Okay. I saw that Israel and Palestine were in the World Cup or something. Before we get down a couple of shilling things, I do it much faster than Jury, don't worry. Go to Trey Crowder.com for his upcoming tour dates.

Like I said, right now is in New York. If you watch his special Trash Daddy on his website as well, I think it's on YouTube. For $5 a month, you can get a bonus episode of this show, weekly skews, which, as Trey puts, it is just this show, but more of it. Plus, sometimes we do Q&As. And go to Corey's, oh, and Matt's got his spinoff show, Good Skews, where he tries to make us look bad by talking to fellow do-gooders who are improving the world. And so they're just complaining about how bad shit's going, like we do. Also, check out Corey's Patreon. We Love Corey.com.

So that's all that. That's done. Let's get to the show. Matt, Daily Dumbass graphic, please. Let's get to bad skews. How about it? Today's Daily Dumbass is Mom for not oiling the Army tank I asked for for my birthday. Happy birthday.

That's rough. Dude, at this parade, this stupid fucking parade for which they tore up the streets of DC and spent $45 million, it was an utter fucking failure. The parade was neither a roaring call to patriotism nor tyrannical show of might. It was much worse. It was boring as fuck. That looked like a cut shot in Star Wars if Taka Wakiti directed it of like an ATAT, just sort of like stumbling down in Hoff before it crunched. umbles over. Yeah, but like they're kind of in a hurry because one of the stormtroopers has to take a shit or something.

It's like, it's just utterly stupid and pointless. So there's a famous Eisenhower quote about military parades back in the 1950s after America firmly established itself as a superpower and was asked about whether or not you should have a big parade when he was president. And he was like, basically it's beneath as the world's prim in the superpower, it's beneath our dignity to do this shit. Which is true. It's true of every society. for whatever reason other societies get off on it basically like he was 40 years before the ghetto boys

but the same idea that they expressed was like real gangsters don't flex nuts because gangsters know they got him yeah but like this particular execution was so much less dignified that even the part Eisenhower was fucking imagining if you got let me play this video

of them this montage of the announcer thank and their sponsors for the parade special thanks to our sponsor Lockheet special thanks to our sponsor sponsor form energy special thanks to our sponsor coin base oh my god special thanks to our sponsor oracle okay so coin base is probably the one that broke me yeah yeah like the other ones are bad but

at least it's like well they do make military weapons so that's one thing yeah it's also like it's a little too explicit to have an army sponsored by fucking lockheed martin is like lucky martin's supposed to work for the army right Not the Lockheed Martin Paisley, whatever. So, Form Energy, man. A soldier in uniform was at the parade handing out free cams of Form Energy, P-H-O-R-M, which was the sponsor of the parade,

co-in by Dana White. And a rep from the company was taking selfies with a soldier who was handing out the products. So our military is now sponsored by a company that makes heart attack juice co-in by the guy who sells brain trauma for a gladiator events. Well, I do look forward to the new military jackets that look like NASCAR drivers. You know what I mean? That's going to be interesting when they have the patches everywhere. Also, I would like to see what our Maha-in-chief Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has to say about these drinks that I know will probably peel paint.

Oh, no, they're four. They're four all of them. Where we're getting very healthy is we're pro-Zin, pro-energy drinks, pro-pesticides. anti-red dye. So you have to eat bays-colored starbursts while the military chugs the heart attack juice.

It's so stupid the way that Robert F. Kennedy Jr. will be saying some stuff that I'm like, yeah, sure. And then follow it up with, well, now I hate it. You know what I mean? Because like, I agree that there shouldn't be so many artificial dyes and things

and we should have natural thing. And I'm like, yeah, you're spitting, you know. And then he'll just be like, and polio should come back, because it's the easiest way for us to, you know, get the population control down. And I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? It's like, look, I read a piece by doctor a couple weeks ago who made this point that I'm going to steal right now. But like, there are societies in the world that have something close to the food supply system that RFK is asking for.

We're like, like school kids eat locally sourced lunches without hormones and shit in them. We're talking about France. Right. And they achieve that with a vast regular. state that enforces it. Yes. Guess what we're not getting? Right.

So everybody, so I'm not going to sooner about the parade, the parade about the parade, that everybody was making fun of the turnout and how corny and clumsy it was. But like, just to put the less than stellar turnout in context, especially in comparison to these No Kings marches, which had like somewhere between 5 and 7 million people marching the streets all over the country on Saturday, which is, if you're counting, somewhere between 10 and 12 times the size of the original Tea Party protest. They got a bunch of coverage about how real Americans were fed up. Anyway, a bunch of people did malicious compliance stuff.

You could go on the Internet and sign up for free tickets, all right? So let me read to you some of the people that signed up for tickets that I'm guessing did not show up. Test T. Coles. Ray pieced. J.K. Not Going. And my personal favorite, the famous, I guess, I'm not sure if this is supposed to be a Persian or Arab activist. Gofak Yousaf.

Yeah, this is Moes. Go ahead. Right. I fucking love it. Classic bit. Classic bit. It's also 100 degrees, humid, and it was supposed to be 100% chance of rain, which, of course, when it didn't rain, Trump said, well, how you believe in climate change or the weathermen get rain wrong? Whatever.

Or it was God, Mark. Did you ever consider that, that God literally wouldn't let it rain on his parade? Yeah. probably that's good that could also be yeah um also everything about this is poorly executed including the admission system for the security gate like the security gate was like set up like a like a like a like if you were trying to do like a corn maze all right yeah and a bunch a bunch of people ended up were trying to actually go to the thing ended up not making it because they kettled themselves on a bridge and got confused okay i just realized that corn and maize are

synonyms my i got to be honest here but mine's a little blown i never thought about it that way I haven't either. It just occurred to me. They also, the sound system was poorly set up, so a bunch of people, they were there trying to support it, couldn't hear anything, so they left. It was also just like, it's a parade, guys. Parades are boring as fuck. They're horrible.

Like, even the, like, I remember when I was a kid, you know, we would always watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade, and, like, I was a kid, so whatever, it was on in the background. And I thought, like, oh, well, this is the thing that you do. And then I finally became an adult. And it was like, the first Thanksgiving, I could decide what to watch for myself. And I was like, I guess we got to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. And I put it on.

I mean, I lasted fucking five minutes maybe. I was like, this is stupid. And being there would be worse. I went to the Macy's parade once. When I was living in New York, my wife and I, because her friend had an apartment along the parade route. And that was kind of cool to look out the window and be at eye level with fucking Snoopy and Spider-Managed. Yeah. Yeah, that's cool.

But also, they put. Spider-Man and Snoopy and Garfield floats in the parade to make the parade interesting. Exactly. By the time you see the fourth all-personnel character drive by, what the fuck are you looking at?

It's all the same. It's all green, squeaky, and also I saw some clips because regardless of the bit I was doing earlier, I did know all about this. I saw some clips where like, don't get me wrong, when I see the Chinese videos of their army and they're all, they're so

in sync, it's insane. And it looks like stormtroopers and shit that scares the fuck out of me but at least it looks badass like our dudes were just fucking it's like they were walking it's it looked like an aides walk you know what i mean like where everybody's just kind of like all right we're here you know whatever we're done not that aids walks aren't important i'm just saying you don't mark in marching sink at an age walk that also like the trip the troops got a lot of shit for their poor marching but like like or somebody like well they're just like they're doing it on purpose i don't have any of that but the people in our army have real jobs for the most part yeah they're not practicing marching all

the time right because it's not here's the thing guys it's not key to their jobs we don't do that yeah like back in the you know medieval times or those like armies used to get in formation and in step because that's how they attacked but now we do everything with drones like why would they they they don't even you don't even have to have feet to be in the army now if you don't want to right uh But it's like, another thing, like, so Trump is, there's this cool Chinese videos you're talking about. Trump has apparently seen them and thought I wanted to recreate them, okay? Yeah. A couple of problems.

It seems to not have occurred to him that one of the reasons those countries have such great turnout for their military parades is you can make them go at gunpoint. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he said that something about Keyes, like, I heard, I overheard a comment he made about, like, I really, you know, say what you will about Kim Jong-un, but people really love. listen when he speaks and I'm like what's their alternative getting their fucking head chopped off you know what I mean right one of the reasons they marched so good at the parades is because Kim Jong-un if you march poorly can like strap a landmine to your wife's chest and throw out of a treboshae right so like what the fuck like honestly that's the best that's your best case scenario because the other one is you just have to live in north korea you know what I mean so it's pretty rough right they also like Americans have like Netflix right so maybe that's what they

spend their Saturday doing instead, even if they love Donald Trump, right? So, like, also, like, they weren't even throwing out parade at our fucking, a candidate our fucking parade. Like, there's a, you get kids excited about the parade, but don't, you got to throw out some bazooka Joe bubble gum and titsy roll pops. They've been given Donald Trump notes on the next protest. I love thinking about them throwing those energy drinks and just like killing an eight-year-old, like just hitting them in the temple.

Oh, hit from me. Not that, I don't want an eight-year-old to die, of course, but it would have been funny. Yeah, it'd be like, it'd be funny to watch their government, the way. The way the normal course of operations works, they'd be like, first of all, the government would claim the Troop Act in self-defense. Then the kids' family would file like a lawsuit against the government. The government would claim like qualified immunity because the Constitution doesn't say explicitly anywhere that a troop can't kill an eight-year-old with an energy drink, which of course it doesn't. So yeah, that's that's not that way. And then it turns out that Tim Walts actually hired the eight-year-old as his social media manager.

There you go. So the top of the troops half asking for a second. They tried to do a bunch of workarounds. So, like, so there weren't in dress uniforms, all right? Partly because not everyone is yet required to have the Army's new dress uniform is still being phased in. The deadline to have it isn't until 2027. So that was out. So they tried to do, okay, we're going to dress up in regular army fatigues from different eras of U.S. history.

They had people like troops dressed up in like Vietnam era gear and like World War I, Doe Boys and shit. It's like, that's a good workaround. We got to do, we can't have on dress uniforms so we're doing costumes, okay, good. Clever army. Were people still spitting on the dudes dressed in the Vietnam fatigued? No, and I do want to note, although everyone thinks that happened.

Ah, not again, no! Because that is a well-wrote, like, it's a very funny joke, but I do want to point out that as far as anyone can tell, there's no historical record of that ever actually happening as a made-up throat by right-wing psychos. Sure, whatever. I don't let that get in the way. Right, no, you're allowed to hit.

I'm just the guy who's here to cock-blocked the hidden with fact checks. I get it. So, they also made the Trump. troops sleep jammed into old office buildings. They only were feeding them MREs twice a day. They didn't have laundry capabilities, so they definitely were a dragling, and they couldn't wash your uniforms. So the marching, though, clearly no one really gave a fuck to even practice for a couple

days. But here's some important context here as well for why the troops might have been disgruntled. It's the Army's 250th birthday, which all which shares the same day as Donald Trump's birthday, which is why they had this parade, okay? Everybody else in the Army got a three-day weekend to celebrate the Army's birthday. Well, these guys had to go to D.C. and march around in the fucking swampy air and 100-degree weather where they're supposed to be raining. So I bet they weren't having the best time.

No. My favorite part, though, there was an infantryman who had his drone with them. You know, the drones they used for, like, close intel where they did throw up when they're in combat. He wasn't flying it, though. He was just carrying it over his shoulder, like a waiter, but it looked like a kid. They were carrying an airplane going like, vr-r. Like, you can see, I always hear him go, vr. I love that.

Yeah, I'm glad that happened, though. That way everybody can understand visually that most people hate their fucking jobs. You know what I mean? Like, most people hate their fucking jobs. Like, I can't stand it when you see a movie, you know, whether it's an Army guy or a military guy. And their boss is like, all right, that's it. You're suspended two weeks with pay. They'll say with pay.

And the person's still like, oh, God damn it. And I'm like, what do you mean? go to fucking Myrtle Beach, Cud? Like, you got it. Like, that's the best. Yeah, I was thinking about that with the Marines about people hating their job. The Marines that are deployed to L.A. right now, like, who detained a guy the other day, like, who was just trying to walk

into the VA building, but they yelled it not across the barrier, but it has earpods in. And they detained him, like, two minutes to let him go. I'm not saying it's, like, the worst thing in the world. The guy, the guy that got detained is actually. That's no big deal. Whatever. I went on a VA appointment. But, so, but, like, the Marines, the grunt Marines, the grunt Marines,

are deployed to Los Angeles are 19, 20 years old for the most part. A lot of them were given the choice to either go to jail for stealing a car or join the Marines. And now they're deployed

to Los Angeles to do law enforcement. They have to drink the form energy drinks because they hate their fucking job. Yeah, of course. Anyway, now we're about to send them all to Iran, I guess.

So anyway, that being said, let's talk about the Minnesota assassin, I have dubbed in my own clever way of the untalented Mr. Ripley because he's such a fucking liar. My first question I want to pose to you, Corey, is, would a deranged

murderer dance like this? Here is the Minnesota assassin, Vance Belter. Given a church in Congo. And when I get excited? And when I get excited? I want to dance. I want Jesus did for me.

What Jesus did for me. God. Almighty God. He saved my life. He has saved my life. First off, I would like to answer your question by saying yes. And secondly, I would like to say. I would like to say that I'm so glad that they translated this so that the godless French can hear the word of God.

I'm glad you picked up to me speaking French because like this is a Democratic Republic of Congo. But so I saw a bunch of people saying really. of shit under this video. No, it's clearly French. Right. So, uh, uh, this guy, man, for first of all, I want to say, I've been to this church except for the guy translating to the Congolese congregation in French. Belter appears to me to have been a, like a wannabe half televangelist and linked in

self-promoter entrepreneur type guy who seems to have radicalized himself into believing as a special forces operator by lying on his resume. Okay. I mean, I can't argue with that because it looks very much to be that way. Yeah, this guy seems to half hit or think he hits and he don't hit. To me, all the, I mean, my only experience with LinkedIn, I don't, did you ever have to have a LinkedIn profile for anything? I had an old day job when I first moved to L.A. where my job was like, it was for an executive headhunter firm where I read a bunch of like C-suite executive. like a resume, so I had a dummy LinkedIn account to look at their, their LinkedIn's.

But now, yeah, yeah. Now, granted, this may just be because my only experience with LinkedIn is that I follow the subredditit are LinkedIn lunatics. However, to me, it seemed like most people on LinkedIn are lunatics. It just seems like everybody there. It, like that whole, at first it was just, hey, we're here. I need a job. It's a social media thing.

But now people use it like Facebook to give their opinions, but it's just. opinions on business and stuff and they'll just say things like the reason you're not successful is because at four o'clock in the morning you were asleep thinking about playing with your kids and I was awake punching dumbbells with my elbow you know and it's like all right anybody on there I think you should die so you're basically you've got to the core of my thesis which is this guy is one of those dudes yeah okay but also a huge liar and let me let me let me let me let me tell you something like so if I was teaching a journalism school right right now, I would like, we got to change how we do dependent clauses.

That'd be like lesson number one. Because what, what, because people are so media illiterate, they don't understand what sourcing is anymore. So it'll be like, he was the CEO of a company, comma, according to his LinkedIn. Everyone's takeaway is that he is the CEO of a company. When it's not a CEO of a company, he's a CEO of a company, comma, according to his LinkedIn, which you're allowed to put fucking anything on. Right.

So like, I would say the guy says he's a CEO of a company. for which we can find no proof is a better way to put that man claims man you know whatever right so let me like so some obvious bullshit here that uh he like said that oh in his resume and shit according to his own is his various websites for his fake companies and shit like he claimed that he went to uh the gaza and the west bank during the second intivada this is per his ministry's website oh dude that's the worst intivada to go right to the sequel right sequels never live up to the height so like like he said he went to to vada yeah he went to preach the gospel to militant islamath let me read oh god ordained since nineteen ninety three he has enjoyed speaking in different parts of the united states as well as in several international cities such as jerusalem israel proud of nine eleven vans that had already made several trips to violent areas in the gaza strip and west bank where suicide bombings were taking place he sought out militant islamists in order to share the gospel and tell them that violence wasn't the

answer. I can't tell you that he's fucking lying, but I can tell you the one group of people who are definitely not open to be a witness to is a guy being currently fitted for a suicide vest. I also don't. I don't trust anybody that has just started preaching in 1993. Like, I know that that's still 30 years ago or whatever, but I'm old school like that. Like, if I, you know, when I see a doctor that's younger than me, I'm like, mm-mm, no. If with a preacher, it's like, you better have been slinging that shit since at least the 80s,

or I just think that you got in there because of AIDS. 93, you got apartheid, you got AIDS, you got all. I don't know. I don't like his indoctrination. I'm trying to do math. He's 57, so in 93, he would have been, he would have been well into adulthood, right? Yeah.

So the way everyone was talking about this guy, and everybody's trying to draw, doing their dumb culture were bullshit, trying to blame the other side for him. And yes, right-winged sarcastic terror is a huge problem in this country. But I can't tell you this guy appears to have been like an anti-abortion lunatic, except he never really talked about it that much, which is usually not those people's speeds. He also, like his roommate said, yeah, he was conservative.

He liked Donald Trump, but he didn't really talk about it a whole lot. He, like, vaguely didn't like Tim Walls and Joe Biden, but, like, it wasn't like, you know, like, you sound like a normal guy you talked to at a barbecue who, like, browse a truck. Not in a way that he's definitely going to get a gun and go try to, murder 70 people which was what his plan was um what kind of gun did he have i think he just had a sidearm but i don't know that as a dumb plan for 70 people well i was going to do it one at a time was a spree killing not a mass shooting oh okay so um like but like but he apparently like he threw everybody off his scent by just saying self-agrandizing shit on the on the

on the internet and like this is the kind of lies that are obvious to everybody who grew up on the internet like his dating pro like if he had a dating profile i probably said he like he like He plays guitar and he plays a black belt and crab McGrath, six foot five. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? So I do want to say like, so he, he shot a state senator by the name of John Hoffman, his wife, and killed a state representative named Melissa Hortman and her husband, killed her dog. The dog? Yeah.

Well, now I'm invested. I was telling my wife this, and she got most upset by the dog, too. Man, I'm sorry that Trey missed this episode. It's a bit that Trey hates dogs. She really just loves cats, but it's a fun. Hey, yeah, we've got to explain this because people think people think people get mad. Trey gets mad because people think he hates dogs and he gets like hate mail about it. Yes, that's why I did it.

I'm aware of that fact. Send Trey hate mail as a dog hater. Please. So I want to say this. We're not going to talk about the victims a lot because it's depressing. Yeah. But Melissa Hortman was the Democratic leader in the Minnesota House and she was Speaker of the House from 2019 to 2025.

She's probably the most influential state-level Democrat barring the governor. And this was an era when Minnesota, which is one of the, few Democratic parties that actually tried to improve the lots of their citizens they passed a paid family leave and free lunch at schools

with a bare majority and Hoffman, the state senator, he got into state politics after he struggled to obtain insurance for his daughter at Spina Bifida and figures others had the same problem. His nephew said he fucking hated politics. He just thought people should have health care.

There you go. Hey, that's the party I belong to. Right. So what I'm saying is this guy apparently somehow managed to shoot a very rare commodity, which is two committed decent public servants. Okay, so let me get this straight. Let me get this straight. This guy was a televangelist, which is very, very right wing. Coded, yeah, yeah. Right wing coded, sure, he's televangelist. Then he tells everybody he doesn't like Joe Biden and Tim Walls, which is right wing coded. Then he gets a gun. just pretty right-wing-coded.

And then he uses that gun to shoot left-wing politicians. So, therefore, he's clearly a liberal, right? Like, that's the fucking leap in logic. Everyone's making that he was some Manchurian candidate, that you just, like, he was just hanging out, and somebody's just like, avocado toast, Lord, you know, Chaparone. And he just fucking stood up and was like, ah, ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-to-thot-thot-thot-thor.

Yeah, pretty much is what. that that's the world according to Elon and Cat Turd. There, Elon with his megaphone of like hundreds of millions of people on Twitter is telling them this guy was like a left-wing lunatic. Can I say something without getting in trouble? Probably not, but go ahead. I hope Cat Turd gets a rare form of cancer and dies slowly in front of everyone.

Yeah, okay, yeah, that's right. We'll allow it. We can move on. So another thing, you know about Advanced Belter is like in the car. So the sequence of events here is he goes to Hoffman's house. at like 2 a.m. shoots him and his wife. His wife shielded their daughter with her body, so I guess maybe she saved her daughter's life. Then at 3.30 in the morning, he apparently went to two other politician's houses, but they didn't answer the door or weren't home or whatever.

Then he ends up at Hortman's house, kills her and her husband. The cops, smartly, a rare attribute for a lot of them. He's like, wait, somebody killed a politician. Maybe we do a check on other politicians in the area. So they send units to Hortman's house and they catch him a belter coming out of her house and they get in a little shootout with the cops where he runs away and the cops have his SUV which looked like a police SUV because he has his own private security company will get to. And he had a hit list in the car with a list of 70 targets. This is 70 I was talking about. It included Ilhan Omar, Tina Smith, Senator Tina Smith and Governor Walls, plus a bunch of abortion advocates and providers were on the list.

So, yeah, their theory of the crime is that Tim Walls activated a winter soldier to murder himself. Okay. I'm not trying to victim blame, but I am just saying this will maybe save some lives. Don't answer the fucking door ever. Like, don't do it. Like, I get made fun of this by my family all the time. But, like, don't, how did the other politicians survive?

You said, they didn't answer the fucking door, all right? When my mom was at my house not long ago, We were hanging out with my son. Somebody knocks at my door, and I just sat there stone face, and my mom's like, did you hear that? And I was like, yeah, they knock again. She's like, are you not going to get that? I was like, no.

She's like, why are you not going to get that? I go, because I'm not expecting anybody. And anybody I like would have called me. That's why. If they got something for me, they can leave it there, or they can call me, leave their fucking pamphlet. I'm not going to my fucking door. She's like, are you scared or something?

I was like, no, I just don't want to talk to anybody. And I didn't, and guess what? Didn't get murdered. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's just a different world Like when I was a kid My dad's friends would just come by the house Of course

To see if we'd home to have a beer Because we didn't have cell phones back then But now we do, it's all I'm saying Yeah, I just wish that But I do kind of wish we Like I do answer my nowhere We have like package deliveries And a handyman coming about

You also want to die more than me That's fair enough So this guy With no criminal history as far as I've seen Just wakes up one day Makes a list Of 70 people to just decide I want to be the most successful spree killer of all time.

I'm going to kill 70 people across four states, mind you. How many times do you think you have to gas up his car? Good amount. I mean, no, he's a liberal, Mark. He's got an electric. Oh, you know. So these guys, yeah, he had a, he was wearing, they said he was dressed as a police officer.

It was not totally true. I saw pictures. Like, it's like a security guard. uniform. But like, I don't know why you're asked. Don't answer your door. Even if a guy vaguely looks like a cop at two in the morning to a guy wearing a mask. Christ almighty, is that Walter White's mask? It looks like, remember the beginning of dark night, the ones they wear when they do the back heists? Yeah. They got the Mohawk coming through it. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Like, again, I'm not victim blaming, but like, I, if I saw my mom at my door at two in the morning, I'd be like,

this bitch can get me tomorrow at lunch. You know what I mean? Like, if it's important, scream. right so the uh the the what like so the the thing going about the launched all the conspiracy theories on the right wing internet is that belcher was appointed to a board a governmental board by tim walls which is true like like most conspiracy theories is based upon an element of truth like the like the conspiracy theory that no jewish people show up to work from 9-11 i bet somebody jewish called in sick okay but like so like of course like so tim walls uh was appointed to a board uh it I mean, sorry, Belta was appointed by a war by Tim Walls. It's true enough, but you've got to say more stuff.

Otherwise, it's a fucking lie. But it doesn't make sense, but it, like, because the right-wing internet did get CNN to buy into the conspiratorial framing if you have this video, Matt. And I'm going to tell you why this pisses me off. Because, like, people going on TV to talk about the news should know about their fuck they're talking about more than I do, who's just a guy with an internet connection. Oh, you're so much more than that to me.

It's a very confusing motive because this guy was appointed to a point. political position by Tim Walt. So now he's attacking Democrat. So you have to try to figure out where he is with a lot of confusing different messages. Nope. Okay. So

this board are talking about. It's who the fuck cares? Government's government's workforce development advisory board. It has no power. He was appointed by the previous governor. This board is about 60 members. Wall's like given like a perfunctory reappointment

in 2019, no proof he ever met him. He probably somebody just rubber stamped it. Senator Hoffman, who he shot was also on the board. No proof they ever met, even though they're on the same board. And another board member named Steve Kalina, who self-described, says he's on the opposite end of the political spectrum from Tim Walz says the bi-paras and body and people should not draw any conclusions from the fact he sat on this fucking board that never met and nobody went there.

I was about to say, I think we should applaud Tim Walts for reaching across party lines and appointing a clear conservative. It's just like you would appoint anything. anybody like like i from going through his history i know exactly what he did to get on this board he fucking lied on his resume right okay he's the kind of guy that goes to events and shakes hands to network and is really annoying he has a business card with a made up shit on it he hands it to you and it says like he robert for art vandalay imports and exports and you go what do you import and export and he goes like you know luxury items and you're like what the fuck and then

he gets your phone number you regret giving it to him he calls you every day for a week He asks you for a favor, so you get annoyed and ask somebody else for a favor, then pretty soon he's sitting on a board because no one gives a shit about it. Dude, do you, I'm not even someone that has any power, but do you know how many people in my career that have worked for me or done work for me? Literally just because I was like, this will get him to shut the fuck up. You know what I mean? I was like, it's not really that big of a deal and it's a decent price.

Look, you can do it. And then I don't, like, so many. I texted you the other day about a similar situation was like, I'm still paying somebody. that I was like, I just whatever, you know, I don't care. So a recurring thing that happens whenever any sort of violence to cast a terror attack happens, as it turns out the person is a big fan of Info Wars. And then Info Wars accused them of being part of a vast conspiracy. Every time.

Okay? Every time. It happened with the fucking, the Boston Marathon bombers are the class example, right? Where they, people think of them as Islamist terrorists, which is like sort of true, but also the main thing they were mad about. is that the government had framed Muslims for 9-11, which they were convinced of by Alex Jones. Then they do the Boston Marathon bomb to get revenge on the government for framing Muslims for 9-11. Then Info War says the government framed, these two guys are pad.

It's the whole thing. Were they using that, like, old bin Laden quote of him talking about how he didn't do it, and it was the Jews because they wanted America to get in with their war in the Middle East or whatever? That's going on the Internet today because of Iran. We're going to talk about that. being Shregor and talking about that on the Patreon episode. But yeah, so let me read you this. Yeah, make people pay for that information.

No, I'm not just saying. I'm just saying that is the interesting thing that's happening, but we just don't have time to get into it. Yeah, yeah, I hear you. So, again, Belter's a big Info Wars fan where he got his news from, apparently. Let me read you this Info Wars headline about the Minnesota shooting. Special report, in the Massachusetts Jones Depression.

Special report, Minnesota shooting reveals Democrat domestic terror. Okay, so this guy, this guy, gives his life. Well, he's alive, but he's giving away. He's going to spend the rest of his life in prison for Alex Jones's movement. Alex Jones, like, this guy's a fucking lefty lunatic, right? These guys. It's beautiful.

The stupidest conspiracy theory or mistaken takeaway that people in the internet have is because he gave sermons in the DRC. People are pretending that DRC is a Democratic National Committee. I was about to say, what the fuck is the DRC because it's not the DNC? The Democratic Republic of the Congo.

Oh, okay, the thing we were just watching. Yes. Oh, God, we're so fucked, man. We are just beyond fucked. Like, why do we even, why are you doing this show? What do you hope to gain from this show anymore, Mark? No one's, I. People are listening, but it doesn't matter.

Because the other side is just saying stuff, and they're in power, and it works, and they've got military people, and they're just deporting anybody they want. Like, it doesn't. let's just fucking kill ourselves you know what i mean like let's just fucking that's what i want to do is like i want the united states to get nuke so that i can go fucking tap on them with a ball peen hammer and just explode all of us and save us from ourselves for those of you just listen to the audio feed mad just literally scrapped the graphic for good skews and what i was going to say was i thought we booked cori but apparently we booked drew I've been in Florida with my in-laws all week, so if you're wanting somebody bright-eyed and bushy-tail did not want to commit mass suicide, you got the wrong guy.

Dude, my basic takeaway is like, as a person, as an observer of all this stuff, I find it deeply interesting. Because, like, Belter's the kind of guy that only 2025 America could manufacture. Yeah. And we make a lot of them. They're not a majority. And, like, what you say, most people are reality-based to go through all day every day and maybe do one crazy thing. I watched a video that was going viral earlier today. Are you familiar with the people painting their rube's blue?

Yes, I saw that, and I started to read about why it's stupid, but then I was just like, I'll take it at face value. It's stupid. Because it's wildfire season is approaching, which, of course, the government uses as cover to burn down political enemy's houses with targeted energy weapons. Right. People, because of photos, I think, from the Honolulu fire a couple years ago, A couple of houses that were left standing had roofs that were blue. That were metal, I'm sure. I don't know.

But they convinced themselves that the way to protect yourself and your family from the directed energy weapons, the government is going to use to burn everybody's house down is to paint your roof blue. And this woman who's filming her and her husband, paint the roof blue, sounds perfectly same. Right. And it's describing how they ran into the paint. They got to run to the paint store. It means she owns a house. She must pay tax, property taxes.

I mean, she holds down a job, and she has money in a credit card to go to run to, like, Home Depot and get more blue paint. Okay. So, all day long, this woman is perfectly sane until she paints her house blue. I need everyone to apologize to everyone in Appalachia and Rednecks, because I'm not sure if you're familiar, but it's been an old thing that Rednecks and Appalachian people paint their porch roof blue because it's supposed to get rid of paints and ghosts. But it was just an old stupid superstition. These people are for real doing it. Yeah, and they think they have a scientific proof or whatever.

But also, like, what was the point of you guys like to the Donald Trump president if the government's still burning in your house and directed energy weapons? Right. We could have kept the immigrants in the economy. Right. Like, if he got elected and was like, oh, if we vote for him, he's going to get rid of the deep state. Like, if the deep state's still doing stuff, it's like, all right, well, so what? They're still passing anti-chemtrail laws.

But I thought Donald Trump would stop the chemtrails. Why didn't you have the idea. So Belter also had some flyers to the No King's protest in his SUV when the cop searched it. It's not really clear why to me, but what I really doubt he was doing was canvassing for the hashtag resistance in the middle of his killing spree. Right. Now, on the left end of the spectrum, a bunch of people immediately assumed that the No King's flyers in his car were to attempt to frame Democrats for the shootings. And maybe they were. But my first thought was they had, like, a list of speakers,

and he was going to go to the rally and shoot a bunch of people. Right. That seems like the most obvious conclusion. It's the one the government drew because Tim Wallace put a statement and said, like, you guys do what you want, but, like, I wouldn't go to attend any political rallies today. Tim Wallace canceled his appearance because he was on the list. A bunch of civilians were brave and still went.

Keith Ellison was on the list, and he still went and spoke the Attorney General of Minnesota. So good for him. Some people have to be. brave right now um and like we were talking about the picture of him with the latex mask on the first round of media coverage said he was dressed like a cop and then fooled people i don't know if he ever fooled anybody i'm not sure why people would open their door other than your groggy two in the morning maybe he had a couple glasses of wine for he went to bed um and so when the cops got there they basically they basically witnessed him execute hortman's husband and then got a shoot out

with him as he came out the door and i've given cops a lot of shit but i got to be honest I said the guy with that mask on what's coming out of me at 3.30 in the morning. I think that's a weapons-free type situation. Absolutely, dude. Oh, dude. Listen, man. Listen, I'm only mad at the cops for shooting people they ought not a shot. There's plenty of people they ought a shot.

And then they didn't. That's what makes me mad. Like, far be it from me. Yeah, dude, if you see any Freddie Kruger's situation running at you in the night, fucking blap, blak, blak, blak. I mean, that's fucking off jump. You know what I mean? But generally, I think it should be a last resort to shoot people, except for January 6th, you should have, you should have opened fire with your mini gun.

Okay. Yeah. So when I say that, when I say Belter Loud on his resume, let me read to you here from his LinkedIn, okay. April 2016 through November 2021, general manager of a 7-Eleven in Minneapolis. A month later, December 21st through present, CEO of Red Lion Group, Democratic Republic of the Congo. I got to get on LinkedIn, man. I got to fucking just start saying stuff. I mean, I've been, it's like I do just say stuff, but never once have I thought, but make it stuff that will help you.

You know what I mean? It's always just been stuff that I say that's funny. Yeah, I mean, the reason I can never get a, you ask me why I do this, it's for the little bit of money we make doing it, because I can never get a corporate job because I've said so much shit on fucking YouTube, in various stand-up clips and podcasts and stuff. Me too. I'm so uninsurable and unhirable. It's ridiculous. I just to start lying. Yeah, I got a buddy who chose a stage name. It was just his middle name, but short and version of his stage name, uh, in case comedy didn't work out. And I was like, that's the smartest thing of anybody ever fucking dead. Because if you just search his

corporate name, it doesn't show up as him. So yeah. That's genius. So if you want to believe his linked in, I guess surely, you know, anyone in a month can go from managing a convenience store in Minneapolis to Congolese warlord or whatever he was trying to sell himself. American Dream. So what is the Red Lion Group? You might be wondering. I was going to just ignore it, but go ahead.

Let me quote here from Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. It's not clear what the company did. The website linked to his LinkedIn profile for Red Lion Group is currently down. I was trying to read some T-Lease to figure out if this company actually existed. Here's the closest I could actually get, okay. There's a clue about it about Red Lion and the bio for his, quote, his fake-ass security farmer, which he was wearing the uniform before we need to the shooting. Quote, he has worked for the largest U.S. oil refining company, end quote.

Sort of true. Belter represented Marathon Petroleum Corporation at one of the Governor's Workforce Development Commission events in 2018. Marathon owned a bunch of 7-Elevens. There you go. By the way, there's a fire at a Marathon refinery in Texas on Sunday, so the lunatics are assuming these two events are connected. Yeah.

Um, the, uh, the event where he represented Marathon Petroleum, which owned the 7-11, he was a general manager of at the board that Tim Walls, you know, reluctantly aborted him to without ever knowing who the fuck he was. Uh, that event featured the ambassador to United States for the Democratic Republic of the Congo. Oh. Now somebody, I read some reporting that said what he was trying to do is to pitch marathon on himself being a middleman for a development scheme in the Congo. Sure. So my best guess is yours the story for Red Lion is that was his fake pastor with LLC for his get rich quick scheme that never worked out. Yeah. Man, this guy, what an enterprising young gentleman. Uh-huh.

So, but it's driving me crazy all day yesterday when a lot of people were taking his resume, like they were basically taking his resume as fact. It took like 24 hours to people started figuring it out. And this headline sort of like, this story sort of got to the bottom of it. Food worker with a fantasy of security career saw. in Minnesota political shootings. And I haven't mentioned this, but yeah, they called him this morning

and some bushes near his family's house. Oh, with his wife and kids. In social media posts and websites, Belter said he had extensive experience as a security professional with, quote, training by both private security firms

and by people in the U.S. military. But he appears to work most of his career in the food service industry and a one long-time friend described parts of Belter's narrative about his life as fantasy. He had another company called Praetorian Guard Security Services. On the website, Belta described himself as, quote, part of the leadership team and the entire workforce, an employee workforce, was him, his wife, and his brother, who's a retired cop.

NPR found no record of the firm having clients or providing any services. A call to the company's phone number connected to what appears to be a private phone line, not a business, and the address listed to incorporation papers appear to be that of a law firm specializing in divorce litigation. Well, I mean, that's NPR,

a liberal rag, Mark. You know, I don't... Yeah, but I guess I didn't go confirm it, but if you don't trust NPR, you can go yourself and look at his website and look at the address up, Google the address and we'll show, like, I bet it will show a divorce law,

a divorce lawyer's firm. And I wonder why, divorce lawyer. He's like, he's not currently living with his wife and kids. He lived with two roommates. So, um, the, uh, well, that's what I saw today was a bunch of people being like, why is this guy who was the CEO of all these companies? Why would he have a roommate, huh? Is that a, have you ever thought about that? And it's like, I don't think he was. The news footage did show him having a big nice house, which of course made everyone suspicious, considering the part of the narrative is he was like short on cash, but like rich people can be cash poor. Dude, most of them

are. Like most of the rich people are. It's like, Like, they fucking, they take loans against their assets and never pay them back. Like, that's what you learn the first day of being the worst person on earth. When you get millions of dollars, they go, do you want to have billions? Here's how you do it. Don't actually have anything. Now, yeah. What you do is you live off loans of your assets and write the loans off as like losses in your taxes.

Yeah, that way you don't ever have an income and therefore you don't pay taxes on it. And then your kids will have to pay that off. but they'll, fuck, I hate, let's just quit. But also, like, people like, maybe his wife, wife's family has money. Like, why are you, like, because he, because he has, like, a five-bedroom McMansion. You're assuming that he, like, that he, his life was going great. Well, they got a fake security company, but no clients. There will be people that, on a smaller level, there will be, like, a homeless person.

They'll show this video of, like, a homeless person. They're like, how is this person homeless if they have an iPhone? It's like, well, maybe they got an iPhone and then shit went bad and they just didn't throw the phone away. You know what I mean? Like, shit can just go bad easily. Also, that's the main possession you need in the world. Right. The first thing you're saving up for is a smartphone,

so you can send an email to try to get a job to get your ass off the fucking streets. It's not like, like, anyway, people. Right. And again, once you lose everything, you're not going to throw an $1,000 thing away. I do want to know the name of his company, Praetorian Guard.

Like, the Praetorians are murdering politicians? What fucking year is this? We're in like We're in Rome B.C. Yeah. Hey, we're in Rome. At 2, Tim.

I want to read some more from his bio here because they'll help you fill out on what kind of fucking liar this guy is. Under his profile on the company website, it says, quote, Vance has been involved with security situations in Eastern Europe, Africa, North America, and the Middle East, including the West Bank, Southern Lebanon, and the Gaza Strip.

He brings a great aspect forged by both many on-the-ground experiences combined with training by both private security firms and by people in the U.S. military. You work for fucking 7-Eleven. The language in that, that bio from a security firm makes it sound like what he was selling was blackwater, but his company was more like bootleg ADT. Like the service he was selling was basically sign up for a service

and me and my brother will drive by your house a few times a week. I'll look at the webpage, the silver level of his service, which featured social unrest cover, coverage, that cost $1,900 a month, which meant he'll drive by your house four times a week. And the social unrest coverage, you got to remember the George Floyd protest started in Minneapolis. Yeah. What he's saying is that the George Floyd protest happened again, as part of our silver package member, you get priority. So if protesters show up to everybody's houses, we go shoot the protesters in your yard first.

For $1,900 a month. bronze coverage, if that's more than your price range, it's only $1,300 a month to drive by your house three times a week. All right. Okay, but have you ever considered, so he worked at 7-Eleven, right? He works at 7-Eleven, and he is a dude who is a televangelist, which is very Republican, but he also worked for Tim Walts, which is very democratic, right?

And there's, so that's political parties. There's two political parties. You take 7-Eleven, you take the 7-1, you put it here, you put the 11, you put it here, you add the two political parties to seven, you get nine, boom, 9-11. The job for you, uh, hire me for cat, open for cat turn on the road, if you go, if you want it. Hire me. So, the thing is like, he's selling social unrest coverage while murdering politicians in their homes. Like, bro, you are the social unrest.

But that made me think like, yes, sure, he's pro-life and conservative. but also was he trying to just drill up business for a fucking security company? It's a bold move. It's a bold move. It's like an arsonist who works to the fire department kind of. Yeah.

But he did send a message to his roommate slash best friend saying, hey, I love you guys, goodbye. So he probably planned to die except he surrendered like a pussy. He told his roommate, I love you. He's definitely liberal. His roommate, fascinating.

guy was like talk to the media for hours it looked like you're sitting on the stoop to their house and was crying about i hopes his friend gets taken alive and how he never said anything that led him to believe he could do this kind of thing which i don't believe him but like i do want to say like he was finding a home addresses for 70 politicians right my understanding of how monitored internet is by the national security state if his name was abdul el z he was looking for home addresses of conservatives oh yeah do you think they wouldn't have fucking been tracking him? Of course. So,

Belter, by the way, as far as anyone can tell, he's stealing Val, he's just stealing Valour. He has no history of working in law enforcement, the military or private security. One of his longtime friends, the guy named David Carlson, that's the neighbor I was talking about, downplayed the idea that he had any real world or security experience. They've been friends

since fourth grade. He says, he was always kind of into the military stuff, but it was just we were always like that. Me and him, we would play Army men. Well, yeah. I was about to say, dude, when I was in fucking fourth grade, we, like, we would go down to the, uh,

recreation center where they had the, uh, the recycling bins and stuff, and we would get all the bottles and we would put them up on this stick thing and we would throw bottles at them and those would be like the tankers and then we would light ant hills on fire and we'd be like, ah, those are the Vietnamese. You know what I mean? Or whatever the fuck you do. Like, you know,

we all play Armymen when we're a kid. And then we grow up, some of us. Right. So, some of us did get, uh, $4,000 ARs with all the bells and whistles and laser sites and shit. Yeah. So, like, I watched a grind set, like, video resume, the Belcher May, say he's currently working part-time at two funeral homes. His buddy said that, like, his security firm never did anything, like, already talked about. So, like, when he did the shootings by him the first time that he drove the SUV and took the uniform out of the bag.

His buddy said he was struggling with resume, like I said earlier before. And he just posted it on LinkedIn, said he was looking for a job, food service job, like a month. ago, so I'm not sure when he decided to make this plan. His LinkedIn said he had a doctorate in education, but a thing I need to note here is the college he said he went to was Cardinal Stitch University in Wisconsin for his master's and his doctorate. They closed in 2003 due to financial problems, so I can't tell you that he's faking his diplomas, but I can't tell you if you try to call to verify a diploma, you'll get the

number of, yeah, the number of your daughter has been disconnected. Yeah, that's what I saw. I saw this was a thing going around. for a while is that this dude was like here's a hack for you if you on your resume just put that you were the manager of a radio shack because they can't call radio shack and tell you that you weren't and i'm like that's brilliant yeah i was i was ahead of a council seabull for enron i was the president of radio shack yeah yeah um so he went to his undergrad at christ for the nation's nation's college in dallas uh i hate every word you've just said you want to it gets wilder we'll get to it a second

If you wonder, the vibe of this place he chose to do was undergrad work. It was funded by a Cold War era of white nationalist and Christian nationalist conspiracy-obsessed preacher named Gordon Lindsay. Jesus. He was in America first guy, I believe that God gave, God created the United States and gave it to white Christians. And communism was a conspiracy funded by Jewish, Marxist, intellectuals who wanted to destroy America. Show me the law. Gordon Lindsay was in a numerology-based prophecies. Like one was that he prophesied that in the first week of 1944, the Holy Roman Empire will be reconstituted by adding Germany to it, which definitely happens.

Everyone should really go to this guy's college. I love that that's the only math those people do. Like they get into the number, like prophecies or whatever, but other than that, it's gay. Right. I've read to mention earlier, but all the people say this guy's left wing, and that same sermon that we showed the video of earlier, we did the weird dance. Belcher said a bunch of anti-gay shit that it just felt like, didn't feel like showing because it's gross. but so Gordon Lindsay was also a big believer in British

Israelism. Are you familiar with British Israelism, Corey? No. No. And I'm really, I'm so glad my Pat Paul's too dead to hear this. All right. So, you've got to go back, here's how hard quote these guys are. You've got to go back to like 700 BC when the Assyrians conquered the kingdom of Israel.

I remember that, yeah. All right. And 10 of the 12 tribes of Israel fled. All right. That's where you get the lost tribes. of Israel stuff. The British Israelites believe that one of the lost tribes of Israel settled in the UK. And so basically now their descendants, including the spice girls and Lord Pickles are God's chosen people. And that's why it rains so much. Right. And so if you've been in New York or D.C. and the black Hebrew, Israeli, Israelites screaming on the street corners

about how, like, you know, black Americans are the real Jews. Oh, I've seen that. Yeah, I don't care for it. One of my favorite things about D.C., though, is that when you walk down there, there's so many protests going on that you're like, I can't be bothered. You know what I'm? There might as well be none. There's too many, you know?

Yeah. So, to be familiar with those guys, this is based on the British version of the Black Hebrew Israelites, which made me add fun, like, workshopping a new character I'm thinking about called Hotep King Charles So the guy who recently ran The Christ's Tradation's Institute His name is Dutch Sheets Great name

Dutch Sheets Yeah those are the sheets you use That sounds like somebody would sponsor a podcast Yeah Or the kind of sheets you use When you give your wife a Dutch oven Yeah exactly We got those Dutch sheets

They come pre-farted on Dutch sheets basically took the school on a class field trip to January 6th. Just talking about his wife for a second, because his wife was like, she got pulled over and cops in the car with her kids. She had a gun, ammo, cash, and passports. What's up? So I imagine she got a text message, honey, come get me.

It's time to flee. And because we live in tactical nation, the United States. tactical everyone has a fucking go bag i guess i'd best say dude you got that and some goddamn uh trail mix man you you're good you know but maybe think of the like the black keys lyric jason born again am i right yeah yeah there you go maybe think of the black keys lyric like a baby if i killed a man the first degree uh baby would you flee with me uh cori would would amber flee with you if you were on the run for multiple murders dude amber won't even go get me a water you know

you won't even get her ass up like if I can't even imagine being like bitch get me a grilled cheese and that going well like I let alone just like let's hey let's get in our Volkswagen Atlas and traverse the continent because daddy's on the run

for killing his political enemies my wife wouldn't even listen to me when I tell her not to drive a car while it's overheating that's actually what would happen is that she wouldn't even hear me say it you know what I mean like I'd have to say it three or four times and by the end I go

fuck it, I'm going by myself. You know? Yeah. All right. Well, Corey, thank you for coming on, buddy. Hey, you're welcome.com. Remember, check out Trey's upcoming tour dates at Treycrowder.com, plus his special trash daddy.

And for $5 a month, you can sign up for weekly skews on weekly skews. Weeklys.com slash more. Also, listen to Matt's podcast, good skews about good people doing good things. Thank you guys for listening, and we'll see you on the bonus episode of your Patreon subscriber on Friday. If not, we'll see you next Tuesday. Oh, before you go, I'm going to be in Sunnyvale, California, this week, Thursday through Sunday, come see me, and also Fort Worth, Texas next week, and then Lakeson, Kentucky, and then Charlottesville, Virginia.

Okay, bye, see you later. Scoo! Scoo! Scoo!