Weird Medicine: The Podcast - 081 - Mandy, Kristin, and Some Dudes

Episode Date: November 20, 2013

A "very special" Weird Medicine from the RiotCast Studios in NYC. Special guests include Sam Roberts, Dan Naturman, Kristin Montella, Mandy Stadtmiller and Rob Sprance. Topics: emetophobia, man-woman friendships, ObamaCare and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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It's TV. All right, here we go. It's weird medicine, the first and still only uncensored medical show in the history of radio. Now a podcast. I'm Dr. Steve with my little pal, Sam Roberts, from. The Opian Anthony and Sam Robert show. Hello, Sam. Seems condescending.

It is a little bit. I also have with me, Mandy Stantmiller from NewsHore and ExoJane. Welcome, Mandy. Yeah, subscribe to NewsHore, bye. Absolutely. Dan Natterman, the eloquent emetophobe, known to comedy fans, both on land and sea. Hello, Dan. How do you do it?

I already pre-loaded it by saying you're eloquent. But we, you and I have something in common. We are both emetrophobes, and people don't understand it. They think that we're germ freaks. No, that's not a problem. Wait, what's in a metaphor? Okay, and ametophobe is someone who has an irrational fear of vomiting. Well, maybe, no, it's perfectly rational.

Yeah, right, right, right, right. To other people. I don't see it as irrational. And we'll get back to that. I still need to introduce our last person on the panel is Kristen Montella, the permanent distaff member of Live from the Table on RiotCast and Sirius XM. And Dr. Stacey was supposed to be here and she couldn't come. But Rob Sprantz is the owner of RiotCast Network and host of the Glory Holt podcast.

Hello, Kristen. And hello Rob. I'm just here for the prize that was on. Okay. Let's get it going. Isn't it the whole podcast? It's the whole now. Thank you.

Oh, I'm sorry. Yes. We're much classier now. I just basically admit it. I don't listen to your show. That's okay. That's okay. We can pull you off the site in 24 hours.

I know. I know. It's an easy thing. Easy quick fix. Let me get the disclaimers out. This is a show for people who would never listen to a medical show on the radio or the internet. If you have a question, you're embarrassed to take to your regular medical provider. If you just can't find an answer anywhere else, give us a call.

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Don't act on anything you hear on the show without talking it over with your doctor, nurse, practitioner, physician, physician, assistant, pharmacist, chiropractor, acupuncturist, yoga master, or whatever. So, Dan Natterman, you and I were talking just briefly about being in a metophobe. And I have my friends will tell me that, you know, they say, well, we know you're a germ freak. It's like I'm not a germ freak. I just don't want to get foodborne illnesses. Yeah, I'm happy with the flu. Yeah, pretty much anything. Give me an upper respiratory infection.

I'm totally cool with it. But give me a gastroenteritis and I'm just miserable. I live day to day in fear of getting a, you know, a puke bug. I was going to say, who's not afraid of vomiting? That's what I mean, like, there's nobody out there going. Yes, maybe today's a day of vomit. I wanted to vomit recently, and I couldn't. Really?

I hate that. See, that should be a fear. Being afraid not to be able to vomit on Q. Right. To be a boolemic, a methofo would be a real rough. I dated a girl who said, I just hate throwing up. And I thought the same thing. Everybody, there's no, I've never met anybody except for Mandy, who's a growing up fan.

I'm not a fan of it, but if you feel sick and you want it to take a lot. And you want to just, that's all. It's terrible. Get it. Get the poison out. What is an irrational fear of vomiting? Lately, I have no patience for anyone who's afraid of anything. Yeah. I just want people to just get over it.

All fears. Be put in Iraq and realize what real fear is. That's not a bad point. I just think the world is just too precious and I hate everyone. I'm talking about you, Steve. I get that. Yeah, because what the example I was going to give you is that sometimes if sushi stays out a little bit too long, I will throw it away rather than eat it.

So that's one of those kind of first worlds. Are you able to kill a spider or do you at least have a female who can do it for you? No, thank you. He just doesn't want to ingest it and vomit it back up. What is an irrational fear of vomiting versus a person who is just against vomiting? Well, I think if I can speak to that, if I can speak to that. Well, first of all, all right, you don't like vomiting, but you can go about your day-to-day activities and not think about vomiting and less than until it comes up, literally in fact. figuratively.

But me, barely a day goes by that I'm not worried that today is the day that I'm going to have an episode of food poisoning or neurovirus or whatever it is. Have you ever vomited? Usually every few years I get an episode of some sort of episode. And you do cruise ships, so that must be terrified. Well, but at least with a cruise ship, I know I'm not that. They probably have like some shit on board to help you. Yeah.

But you don't get to the point where you're like, I vomited before and survived a tunnel the tail it's not that bad i get the point where i vomited before and it was horrible i can't do this again oh jeez do you ever would it help if because it's not just one vomiting it's usually a a uh episode of gastroenteritis is 12 hours right 12 hours it'll be over what about is it is it is the fear of other people vomiting tied into this like my sister has only in so far as they could give it to me right okay so it's not like the disgust of like seeing it or whatever I mean, I'm a doctor. I deal in puke every day, but, you know, I don't want to get it myself.

And every day that goes by, Dan and I are the same in this. That's one day we're closer to getting a gas renderized. Right, exactly. Because I know that I get it at, you know, say every three years, on average. Right. Every day it goes by, I'm close to that three year mark. Yep. Wouldn't that kind of preclude you from being a doctor, though?

I mean, the chances of you being exposed to someone that's sick are pretty hot. Yeah, for some reason that doesn't matter. to me you know that doesn't bother me in my clinical job i can see people i can do i mean and nothing grosses me out uh we we'll sit and eat lunch and talk about how we you know got a cup of pus out of somebody's back and it you know spewed across the room and stuff and never stop eating that doesn't that kind of stuff doesn't make me sick it's just the idea it's the same for you like you spend your days thinking about the dread of having a bug for 12 hours yeah It sounds like our life well lived.

Here's a question. Does the fear of vomiting ever become so paralyzing that you almost vomit? No. No, but it does become paralyzing that it's paralyzing. So it stops you from eating? Why don't you do? It becomes, it has at times when I feel slightly nauseous and I think, oh my God, this is it. This could be 12 hours of this shit. Then panic sets in, yeah.

You lock yourself in your house. And then I, you know, I have to kind of calm down a little bit. Or take a clonopin, but I don't think you can talk yourself into vomiting, I don't think. No, and if my kids get, say that their tummy feels a little bad, I'm grilling them, you know, do you feel like you're going to throw up? Do you feel like? Because then I know if they get it, I'm getting it. Is there something, Dr. Steve? By the way, what kind of doctor are you anyway?

Well, I'm dual certified in family medicine and also hospice and palliative medicine. So I do a lot of death and dying, and I deal with a lot of nausea and vomiting all that. the time. Now, is there something that I could have on hand that I would know that if I have this something, that if the worst does happen, I do have a bout of gastroenteritis, I can take it and get relief. I've read about zofran. Is that? Yes. And that is now generic. So zofran is pretty cheap. And it works pretty well at the first onset of nausea. You can take some and it sometimes will help. Fennergan's a great drug. And if you're puking, you know, you can't take a pill because you're just going to throw it up. So,

you would use a suppository, which is loads of fun. You keep them in your refrigerator. You hate vomiting so much, you'll use a supposit. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. That's a real phobia if you prefer to have something shoved up your ass.

No, it's not. What's wrong with getting something shoved up your ass? You could also... How bad? It's not that bad to get something shoved up your ass. It's not like a huge cock of medicine. It's like a teeny little... It's not a dildo of medicine.

I think if you use the different word than shows... Can I say that? Did I just ruin your show? No, we... You can say anything you want to say. Your boyfriend never put a finger up there? I'm saying as a man, I would think that that's a little less. Well, it's ice cold, too. Yeah, you know that makes you.

Gay, right? If you put a suppository. Yeah. Okay, nothing wrong. Especially if it's shaped like a man. Dr. Steve, so do you have these on hand? I do. And do you find that that alleviates the anxiety?

What it does to a certain extent, yes, that I know that I've got something that I can do for it if it does happen. And as I've gotten older, it's, become less and less in the I've become a little more philosophical about it you know my kids are going to get sick I'm going to get it or what am I what can I do about it so I'm I'm a bit of a recovering a metaphobe that's what I was thinking I would assume that you of all people would realize that the cure for this would be to not have irrational fears and notice they're irrational not not get medication the whole thing with irrational fears they're not rational but you study

this you're a doctor sure sure But again, I'm not, that word irrational, I'm not sure I buy into because... Like, see, he's at the point where he doesn't think it's irrational. Well, it is a horrible thing, and it does happen. Yes. You know, it's not like, I mean, it's not like fear of open spaces. Well, open spaces aren't going to inflict any pain on you. Can I ask you a question?

Go ahead. Have you ever had a real problem? Well, I would suggest that that is a real problem. There you go. But I mean, like, have you ever faced, like, actual adversity? he's a comedian this sounds like an accusatory question as if you're saying

I would have been coddled all my life and my mother still bathes me does she that's what I'm asking no she doesn't darn it well adversity but you don't consider anything mental adverse so I guess

then I guess not I guess my life is just a half as candy land I do but I'm saying don't you think that everything is a matter of framing and perspective and I'm saying if you were suddenly a quadriplegic, would you really be obsessing over this fucking vomit thing? I would be obsessing about the vomit thing.

Yeah, and it would suck to be quadriplegic. Right. And it would be even worse. You'd be a vomiting quadriplegic. That would have to be, yeah, that would be insanely horrible. It would be even worse, because how do you get to the toilet fast enough? That would be pretty horrendous. Wait, I have a question about the medicine, so that keeps you from vomiting?

No, not really. Okay. It will relieve it to a certain extent. And the thing about the Fennergan suppositories is they make you really sleepy. So you just sleep through it. Now, you won't sleep. It won't knock you out to the point where you will do a mama cass and aspirate. You know, you'll always wake up to puke.

But at least you can sleep through the nausea. Because that's the worst part. The puking is, you know, 15 seconds out of an hour. But it's the nausea that you just have to sit there. I would just assume that if you have to throw up, you should probably get that out of your butt. Like you shouldn't try to. So you could never have kids, Dan. I mean, I guess I've babysat my whole life,

so I've dealt with so much vomit over the years. Well, you know, I don't know. It's having kids make you more likely to have these episodes? Yeah, sure, because they go out into the real world, get exposed to these viruses, and then they bring them back home. I suppose I could be a baby's daddy. My kids brought us. Or I could be a sperm donor, but if I have to hang out with these.

What I'm pregnant to tell you is that I'm pregnant, Dan. Well, like I said, send checks. My kids brought Norwalk virus into our house and they brought Rhoda virus into our house and we were all, you know, they were in the hospital. Here I've got this kid, this one year old kid in a diaper and he's got

Norwalk virus so he's puking and shitting and then he gave it to me and I'm in the hospital because my wife is home sick she picked one of the kids up and the kid puked on her and then she turned and puked on him and I'm like what the hell am I supposed to do it? It sounds like that story in Tucker Maxes you I hope they serve beer in hell

that's like I think a made-up story because I hope he and Anthony exposed it but about how he was trying to have like anal sex with his girlfriend and videotape it and then my friend fell out of the closet because he was throwing up and I was throwing up

and everyone's shitting and throwing up but this is a true story that did and your story did happen absolutely did happen and I'm cradling him in the hospital and he's got all these IVs and all of a sudden I hear this noise and they had cut a whole in his diaper so that they could put a

little bag around his penis so that he could urinate in it so they could see if he had a urinary tract infection. Well, there's a hole in the diaper. And this noise is a gallon of liquid shit coming out of the diaper all over my legs. I suddenly have a fear of vomiting.

And this stuff is just pouring out of him. And they came in to clean the room up and there was no getting the smell out of there. The guy just came in and brought a little air freshener knock it in the room. What about immersion therapy where you're just surrounded by shit and puke?

Yeah. Just exposing. I was at a party recently. Or like eating your own poop. Mandy's missing the point. It's not the puke itself. It's us puking. Right.

You know, if you puke, I mean, I would smell bad, but whatever. Yeah, but that would make you want to puke, right? My cat pukes, I go to clean out my cat's puke and I start to gag. It's getting the virus or the food poisoning. It's the food-borne illness that got me. So maybe it affects you more than it affects me because, I mean, it sucks. but I don't think of it as being... And there's also something to...

The worst thing ever. When it's happening, it is horrible. Like, when you have those 12-hour things where you have to puke every half hour and you're just sitting by the toilet wishing you would throw up and you can't throw up. But then once you're done with it,

you're like, okay, I survived. And now I'm ready to move forward with my life. Sure. Now it's Tuesday. Well, maybe the bigger problem is I don't have anything else with my life to look forward. That's what I was saying. I was saying about...

The vomiting of the stage. I have to, you know, if I knew that after the vomiting, something good would happen, I guess it would help me. I think I have a version of this, though, because I have like a fear of nausea, not the vomiting part, but like, I get nausea easily. I drink ginger all the time. I had vertigo once, and it was like the, like, I wanted to put a bullet in my head. I've never contemplated suicide in my entire life. I had vertigo for 48 hours, and I thought, like, I was going to jump out a window. I mean, that, to me, that.

That's crippling, like that feeling of like, not so much, I wish if it would have, like, if I would have been able to throw up and it would have gone away, I would have thrown up for six hours straight and had no problem. Do you know what caused it? But that, no, it's like viral, yeah. It's called viral labyrinthitis, and the virus actually gets into the nerves that send position, head position signals to the brain, and it just starts firing them off like crazy. And so the brain is receiving these signals and saying, well, the earth must be moving. And so you get this feeling of vertigo. And it's just like it's the same nausea you get when you're seasick. How did you get vertigo?

It's viral. You just catch it like you get like Bell's palsy or yeah. And it's interesting because some bugs that are a virus that might cause a puke bug and you might cause labyrinthitis and me. I haven't puked in a while. Yeah, I haven't either. But now I have this fear. My dog pukes though.

Yeah, my cat pukes all the time. Yeah, my cat too. My dog puked on my face. Wow. Nice. But now I have this fear every time I start to feel like dizzy, I'm like, oh, God, I'm getting vertigo again. And then I get a panic attack because I think I'm getting vertigo. See, so it's not so crazy.

I guess, you know. Mandy, do you dismiss that as a not a real problem? No, I think it's a real problem. I just hate everyone in the world. So I just, I just want to say the meanest, cruelest things to everyone, including you. And I figure it'll make for good radio, so. How's that working out for you? Did you not feel your dog gagging or why wouldn't you move your face from its mouth?

I was asleep. I was asleep. And he just walked up to you and puked on your face? Well, what do you get a different dog? He was sleeping. He was, did you say get a different dog? Yeah. No, he's sweet.

I love him. He's like a kid. He's not sweet because he did that. Yes. He's a dog. He doesn't understand that. He came to her like mommy, mommy, I'm going to be sick. He didn't feel good.

He's standing over her and then, you know. Yeah, no, that maybe mommy, mom, mom. if he did it next to her. Well, he can't talk English, so he didn't say mommy, mommy. Thank you for explaining that. If he had done it next to her. But when you puke on somebody's face...

I like that you're trying to give back to me what I was giving to Dan. No matter what species you are. Your dog sucks. Kill it. Your dog is way worse than Dan. Right. Your dog has repressed rage. Yeah. I would put down Dan. I would put Dan to sleep sooner than I would put my dog to sleep.

I'm sorry, Dan. Just kidding, Dan. I wouldn't do that about. Dan, I would adopt. you before that happened I would come and I'd post you on Facebook so everybody would come and to save you we'd get Sarah McLaughlin just sing a song about you well have we have we eaten up the a metaphobia I think we probably have I have a study here that this is why I called all of us together because for various reasons this particular

topic struck me that you all would be have some interest in this and uh there's this study they did 88 college friend couples and they found after interviewing them that men were much more attracted to their female friends than vice versa and men were much more likely than women to think that their opposite sex friends were attracted to them and men's estimates of how attractive they were to their female friends had virtually nothing to do with how these women actually felt and they were, men were more likely to see sex and romantic potential in an opposite sex friend as a benefit, and women primarily saw it as a cost. You just summed up the first 40 years in my life.

Is that right? I was going to say this needed to be a study. It's certainly not surprising that men want to have sex with their female friends, I guess is somewhat surprising to me, is that they feel that the feeling is mutual in many cases. Right, right, right, no, right. And once again, you and I have. have this in common, because I've heard you talk about this, that you have very often been put

in the role of being the male friend. Am I right about that? No, I don't believe I have said that. Have you not? Maybe it was no. No. Dan is one of these men who think is the hearing of that. You've just, you've sort of assumed that based on who I am, I suppose. Okay. I thought I heard you to say that. Well, okay, I may be wrong. Well, I actually, no. I mean, I, I, like every man on earth that's happened, of course. Yeah. You know, over and over and over and over and over And over and over again. But I don't think it necessarily happens to me more than the average. Okay.

I think it's the opposite for me. I think I want to fuck everyone and men are afraid that I will consume them like a sexual spider. And they'll be left to die. Where would they get that idea from? Well, Mr. Roberts. The, yeah, so expand on that. Looking very fly-like tonight. Do you have, do you see?

a pattern in your life where you are attracted to men and they run away from you? Not really. Okay, then can you explain that because I didn't understand it then? You don't have to. I don't know. I think Rob could explain it better.

Why can I explain it better? Because you're one of the men. I think Dan could... No, I don't want to fuck him. Well, thank you, man. Well, you're married. Married people are dead to me. They're just like walking.

corpses. Can you can you flirt with a married man? Is it okay for married men to flirt with you? Of course I can. I fucked with a married man. Okay. Ficked with? Fucked with, yeah. Hey, you're married.

Oh, boy. So you're a necrophiliac then. Is there he considered the dead to you? No, I mean, I just did it one time. And then you know, I talked about it on Robb's podcast. It was awful. I was a really bad person. I mean, Really awful.

Do you, okay, there's so many questions here. I just think that I give off more sexual energy than men are comfortable with because they like to be the domineering, you know, trapping the prey or whatever. And I think I'm supposed to be like, sex, ew. And then the guy is just like, yeah, suck it. And I'm like, I don't want to. And then you give head and they're just like, yeah, suck it. You know what I mean? But every guy will say...

Simple interactions. It's Sam's Tuesday. Every guy will say, I want a woman to come on to me. You know, why do we have to do all the work? Whatever. And that's, but you're... Yeah, but then those... Well, I mean, I guess, sure, you can come on to guys.

But then those guys are the guys who are, like, walking around, living in fear of, like, puking or so shit. You know what I mean? Like... And I don't think, I don't think guys want women. to like come on to them the way they come on to women. I think guys want women to like fawn over them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And just, you know, just, I just, I just, I feel like, I feel like I know all these

games that I should play, but I would rather be just like a bitter spinster than do all that shit, you know what I mean? Yeah, no, I understand that. Like, and I don't know. I mean, and also I think that I'm cute enough that it's not, I mean, I think I have a lot of great things going for me, but I think I'm just way. more intense than most guys like and i also like i'm really really quick with everything yeah and guys read that as i think guys read that the wrong way where it's more just like i think i live

in an industry and a world where i have to make a lot of decisions really quickly right and i'm the same way with my personal life right you know what i mean yeah absolutely absolutely i don't know yeah that could be intimidating to some guys although i would think in a city of eight million people you wouldn't have problem finding two or three that you would have, you know, an amenable relationship with in that way. Yeah, well, and then now my dog cock blocks me because, like, my dog doesn't like Rob.

My dog was, like, ready to, like, rip Rob's face off. Yeah, I went to go set up our equipment. He loves Graham, my co-host. Yeah. You bit my hand off. Really sounds like a sweetheart just dog. Puking, biting. I mean, he is.

He's just, I mean, I know. He was a dick to me. He was a total dick. He was a total dick. He was a total dick. But he's, I mean, he's a good, he's just like a fucked up rescue pit bull. You know what I mean? Oh, he's a pit bull.

Yeah. We forgot to mention that. Yeah. She's like, Kristen. Give him the treat. And I went to give him the treat. And I came back with one less finger. That's not true.

That was the treat. He was close. He was close. Do you think men and women can be friends? I don't know. Truly platonic level. Oh, I didn't answer that. I'm sorry.

That's okay. The question hadn't been posed until now. Right. I'm just posing that now. I think they can be. I mean, there's always going to be, one will probably always have, you know, not turn down sex from the other. But I think you can, I certainly have a lot of male friends. Not to say that none of them have ever thought about sleeping with me, but.

Well, we know that women can have male friends. I think we're all pretty much in a course. The question is, can men have women friends? By that reasoning, men can have women friends. Not as, I believe that they can, but I think it's less common. I think as the study showed, men are more likely to want to have sex with their female friends than the, than the contrary. And they even said that men were also. But we didn't need to study, by the way, for that.

Well, they just got some statistics. But I do have. Did that study also show that sometimes men like to ejaculate onto women's faces and tits? Well, I think that needs to be studied. Yes, they actually said that men were more likely than women to say they had sex with an opposite sex friend. It was 22 to 11, so it was two times more men said that they were having sex with their female friends than the women. So either the women weren't admitting it or the dudes are just making shit up. But I think that's also like women are bitches.

And I mean, I will know, you know, I'm one of them. Sometimes I'm, you know, I can be nice too. Say it's not so. No, but women will, you have a male friend. And you have him there for a certain reason, whatever your reason is. And women can be sweet and they can be flirtatious. If a guy is friends with you and he doesn't want to sleep with you, you know it. It's very clear.

Like, guys are not. That's not true. There's hate sex. All right. I'm talking about like normal functioning people. Yeah, normal people. Like not back at CBGB's. Not bitter.

Like want to kill everyone. You know, but girls, you're like, oh, this guy is a car and he can like take me to Woodbury Commons on the weekend. So I'm going to, you know, go. to lunch with him. He sounds very manipulative and awful. I'm not like that. I like people for their souls and their spirits. But you can be friends with somebody and want to have sex with them.

And have it. Even if they won't have sex with you. That's a tricky one. But it can't like. I've tried many times. Unless you're fully consumed in I only want to. Like if you're only friends with a person because you want to have sex with them, that's one thing. I suppose if you could take it or leave it, then.

then that can be done. I certainly have a female friends that I have no sexual interest in. Yes. But, and I mean no sexual interest in. Those are my best female friends. You know,

because they're just ugly or they're awful sexual spiders like me. No, I would say that I'd hate to mention names, but Rachel Finescy is not ugly in any way, shape, or form. The comedian Rachel Fencing, we're all familiar with her.

And I don't have... I'm sure she'll love that. Well, we've had this discussion before that I don't have, really, I mean, yeah, no, I know this sounds insulting. How old is she? I'm curious. She's about 32, I think.

Oh, yeah, she'll love this. But she feels the same way, I suspect. It's just because we're, you know, it's probably because she's, her and I are sort of turned off by each other's Jewishness on some of it. You know, it's too familiar, you know, it's almost incestuous in a way. So, I don't know. How often do you masturbate about your different female friends? Well, none, because they're my friends, and so I don't have sexual interest in them.

Now, I do have some sort of friends. Let's leave me out of this thing. Come on, please. Without mentioning. It's a long ride to Woodbury comments. So what? I've never masturbated. I've never masturbated.

I've never masturbated in thinking about Kristen. I've had sexual dreams about Kristen. What did she do in the dream? Well, in the dream, we were at the comedy cellar trying to find a, a place to have sex and then we ran upstairs we couldn't find a place because it was crowded as you know at nighttime it gets crowded while with the what with the bar crowd and all coming in for hummus and kebabs so we had to go upstairs and up to the i believe this room in fact or you know we're upstairs right now from the comedy seller right right right right and and chris said i finally here's

our chance and we're going to make it and then sdy comes out the roofie wears off that's a very detailed dream and then And then Esty, the manate... The next week. He just swept away the microphones with his left arm. Well, you're missing the punchline. Esty, the manager, the Israeli manager comes down, this, what are you two doing up here?

So she ruined the whole thing. But that was my... She didn't get in on the... And then for a couple weeks out, when you have a sex dream about somebody, all of a sudden, somebody you... That's no secret. I make no secret that I find Kristen,

a vibrant woman, attractive woman. But it was not until after that dream that I... You know, when you dream about... Ever have a dream about somebody? And then you say, oh. Oh, hey, all of a sudden, my level of interest is now up, you know, fivefold. Because you saw her naked in the dream.

Yeah, because we had a thing in the dream, you know, even though we never did nothing in the dream. Well, it's just like when you have an argument with somebody in a dream, you wake up pissed off at him. Yeah, exactly. And they didn't do anything. He woke up pissed off at Esty for ruining. Pissed at Esty, but in love with Kristen. But I'm happy to say that that's worn off sufficiently that we can have a working relationship. Thank you.

I'm so glad. Did you used to just have like a permaboner around him? Not a permit But no I don't do that But Kristen is In getting back to your point earlier Kristen is a bitch And

And that turns me on On some level You know Well you two have been friends For a long time Well I don't know There were friends We see each other

When we see each other Would you ever give him Like a friendly hand job Like as friends do Now you're I mean if he really If it was like a serious If he was gonna vomit

And like the only thing That's a good line Giving him a good hand job. You know what? I'll take it. The two of you will be vomiting at the same time. I'm giving you a hand. I don't know that Chris and I are friends because we don't talk on the phone and we don't see each other outside of this context.

Yes, we do. I don't call you up and say, Chris, what's up, girl? No, no, no, but I'm saying we've seen each other at events. Out events, but it's not like. Your garden, stuff like that. Yeah, because we happen to be there. Sounds like you have a very strong acquaintance. Not because I call you up.

and say, yo girl, you go in the beer garden? If you raped her, it would be acquaintance rape. That's your relationship. Well,

I'm not going to touch that, but I suppose so. Any dreams? Yeah, we're in a can't. The queen's dream. So, Kristen, no sex dreams about me? Is that?

No. Oh, dear. Speaking, you know, most of the dreams we have, we don't remember. Yeah. Right.

And that one I would have definitely blocked that. Just dramatically. I, have you, speaking of sex, dreams do you guys ever go to completion in a in a sex dream if i ever have a sex dream something always uh uh like esti coming in and interrupting something always happens that stops the process

from happening so i never actually get to have dream sex ever i have dream sex i must say it's not very satisfying yeah so you're saying you know because it's not real sex yeah i don't even know that i've ever achieved insertion in a dream now that i think about it i have you know i get ready to When you put it that way, it sounds so dirty. I've achieved insertion, but it's insertion. It's not real insertion, so it's not very, it's not very, it doesn't feel very good. Wait, can I ask a question related to this? Yeah, of course.

You know how so guys have like wet dreams? Yes. Teenagers. Can girls have those? Of course. Yeah? Yeah, I think so. The reason men have it is if they don't ejaculate for a long enough period of time,

then the body senses a need to kind of clean out the pipes, and so they'll have an ejaculation. Now, I'm not sure that that would be the, the case with women, but I had known women that have had orgasms in their slave. Without like any kind of Oh, I wasn't talking about orgasm. I was talking about just like waking up and being like

Oh no, I'm talking about actual like orgasming. A wake up turned on, absolutely. Well, how do you know? Because you wake up with a bonus. But she's talking about. I'm talking about as a woman waking up like moist. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm talking about actually like

having an orgasm. You've done that? That's happened No, that's why I was just curious. The one time it did it was Dan Natterman a Dan Natterman There's got to be more to He was dreaming and I won't take it I was dreaming about it was like It was what's the thing?

I was just going to say what was that? What's the movie? Incognito. Memento. No, no, no. What's the movie where it's the dream and the dream? Inception. There's got to be more to coming in your sleep than just cleaning out the pipes

because I'm good for, I'm still good for coming in my sleep like probably twice a year. You come in your sleep? Oh, for the love of God. Cleaning out the pipes sounds very... I don't like that term. The craziest thing. Cleaning out the pipes.

I did once. I had sex. Yes. I fell asleep. I came again to my sleep. That's very strange. And I don't even have sex twice and one night ever. I'm not good like that.

Can I ask you a medical question? Of course. Okay. So the last guy... Dude, I don't know. That I had... What? The show is about.

The last guy that I had sex with, he was telling me that a hurts. to have blue balls. Yes. Is that really true? Yeah. Here's what happens when you get... Because I kind of felt bad, so I think maybe that's why I had sexes.

Well, sometimes... Well, he's manipulating you as well. That was a manipulation. It was a middle ground, man. It does hurt, but he could have taken care of it later himself. Right? It doesn't hurt that bad. What does it feel like?

It's a prostateic congestion. So the prostate is a gland that is between the bladder and the penis. It's right at the outflow of the bladder. And when you get sexually aroused, the body will start pumping signals to the prostate to, hey, get ready, you're going to jizz. And when it does that, there will be secretion of fluid into the prostate that will cause it to expand. And it's called prostatic congestion. And that gives you the sensation of blue balls. And it's kind of a pain in your taint.

You should be a fun sex operator. Thank you. That was like, I'm so wet right now. She's going to wake up more. I have this way of... But doesn't that... I mean, I've never had that. Talking sexy.

Doesn't that require a lot of self-denial to get to that point? Yeah, and you'll hear more young guys doing it who are just full of jizz. What about Woody Hrelson and all those people who do the edging kind of, you know, so they're in pain all the time? Yes, sting. Not necessarily. You don't have to be in pain. You'll hear about this in teenagers a lot who are dry-humping their girl. friends and they're not because they're teenagers if they're not masturbating they're probably

not at that point having a lot of sex so they're doing a lot of things that are like edging and they're they're full of fluid and you know teenage boys could jerk off three times a day without any problem at all and for those those are the guys you hear about that you don't hear 58 year old men like me complain oh god I've got a raging case of blue balls it just doesn't happen can ask you a personal question raging question raging case of balls. Yes. How many times a day

slash week do you masturbate? It varies. I'm a very honest show, so I'll tell you a very honest answer. It varies sometimes three times a week, sometimes five times a week. Sometimes I'll go a couple times, you know, a couple weeks without, you know,

where I'm just sort of storing it up for a good one. I'd kill someone. But you do that consciously? Like you're like, I'm going to wait a couple weeks and then really have good for you. Yeah. Yeah. Can you take a supplement to have like a big load of cum? That's a great question. I get that question on the show all the time.

You're welcome. Thank you for asking it. The only study that's ever shown to increase seminal volume was people taking daily Viagra. And now we use Viagra for people who have this thing called pulmonary hypertension, which is a high blood pressure going from the heart to the lungs. And if you give them Viagra, it gets better. And it's a... Like gay kids who are getting bullied? It gets better.

I'm there. Oh, it gets better. Ah, no, I still don't get it. So anyway, but... And those people have about a 20% increase in their seminal volume. So I haven't been able to find a single study that shows anything that actually works to increase loads. And these guys who are in porn... Is there a technical term for a load, a load, the unit?

Just ejaculate. I think load. But you couldn't say one ejaculate. I can say I blew one load. Oh, you can't say I blew one ejaculate. I blew five emils of semen. But that is still doesn't.

But you also wouldn't say the word blue. You wouldn't say blue. So is there a scientific way to say this is my question to you and you don't have an answer for me. I don't have an answer on that. A rainfall of creamy. You know, it's a unit of measurement that varies. Yeah, ropy. It's just ejaculate

But I understand that you can't use it In the way that you're trying to use it in a sentence You can have an orgasm Let's say him talk This patient's something funny to say This patient's ejaculate was Was 5ML you would say that But we've reached the spectrum of Dr. Steve

Where either he spends his days Worried about vomiting Or excited about the load that he's building up One of these two things are going to happen That's probably why he's vomiting It's just coming up the other way. Isn't that the plot of Last Vegas? Morgan Freeman,

basically. Oh, fuck you. So there is, I've seen these porn films where these guys will just ejaculate what appear to be cups and cups of seamen. That's something like Chris Angel camera tricks. I think it is a camera trick.

Lexi Love was on my show when she said that there is some kind of, what they do is, in addition to the ejaculate, it's some kind of mixture that they use and she said what it was and I can't remember she told me just the opposite on my show see you got to she said that there's a way that what they do is they mix it

and like they'll kind of just squirt it in addition to the real deal okay like they'll have it and I'll have to go back and listen my theory was that some of it looks really thin when you see these guys just ejaculating gallons of cum

gallons of stuff kind of porny watching see people send me stuff and they're like how do you explain this doctor That was a good save It looks very, thank you It looks very thin And I think what these people are doing Is they're learning

It's a patient sending them these videos Come take a look at this video doctor I'm not feeling well Thanks for the palliative care Would you check out this hardcore Bukaki Check out my load Here's a horse film And thank you for the prescription

I'm worried about this Bukaki actor My theory is that they're learning to urinate at the same time they're ejaculating because normally when you ejaculate there's a little sphincter in there that closes off the bladder so you can't pee and come at the same time. And I think some of these guys have trained themselves to urinate at the same time so they're actually mixing semen and urine at the same time and it comes out looking like a bigger load. That's my theory.

Going back to your other point about prescribing viagra for pulmonary. Yeah, pulmonary hypertension. hypotension? So these people then are also erect? They can be. Now, the thing about Viagra is it doesn't cause an erection most of the time. It just gives you the potential for one if you're stimulated. So, yes, they would have the benefit of not having erectile dysfunction when they're taking Viagra three times a day. Have you ever taken Viagra? Yeah. And the great thing about Viagra, when you don't need it, and I'll just throw that out there.

But if you don't need it, it makes it. It makes it. Makes an erection, like, and I've heard a comic say this. This isn't my line, but it's like a ballpark Frank in the microwave. You know, it's all big and straining it. Oh, my God. And it's confinement. It's plump when you cook it. Is it true that women can take it?

Yes. Yeah, I saw that episode of Sex in the City, too. It's true, though? That was a good episode. A lot of the sex therapists will, if a woman has a problem with lack of pleasure from stimulation of genitals that they'll give her some Viagro just to increase blood flow to the vulva and stuff. And, you know, I haven't seen a good double-blind placebo-controlled study. There may be some out there, but a lot of people believe that it really does help.

We have friends. Do you want to down some Viagro, Kristen? Yeah, I'm going to go ahead of some doctors. We have friends that take Ambien and call it. Tiger Woods, Ambien sex, is that right? Oh, yeah, Tiger Woods was very into ambient sex, yeah. They call it big sex night. With me at least.

I don't know if it was in every girl. They call it big sex night. They both take an ambian and then they have intercourse and it's supposed to increase their pleasure. But the problem with it was with these two was the woman woke up one night at two in the morning and her husband was outside on a ladder on the second floor washing windows at two in the morning. I didn't know where the hell he was with his erect penis the whole time. Is that how he was washed? Maybe I'll pass on that. He learned.

It makes you sleepwalk? Yeah. Some people at will. There are people who have been found driving naked 10, 20 miles from home. My wife would get up at 2 in the morning and wake the kids up and play hide and seek with them and not remember any of it the next day. Stuff like that. I need some of that.

How come people? That's the stuff of horror movies. And it's a minority of people. But when it starts happening, the psychiatrists say it will not stop. It only gets worse. Has there been a Law & Order SVU episode where someone killed or was. someone on Ambien? I wouldn't be surprised.

There has been a sleepwalk. I saw that one. Yeah. Yeah. That's a condition, though. He had a condition. They always have conditions. That was like sex sleep omnia.

Sex sleep omnia. Yeah. I guess we probably retired this thing. Anybody else have anything to say about men and women being friends? I want to get feedback as to how I can be less of a horrible person so that I can find a boyfriend. You don't need that You know what No, Rob is edging to tell me something

Like edging You're about this guy No he's edging Hold on wait Okay, just finish You have a long way to go We all We all have to find people

That we're just compatible with And you know Do you want to change your fundamental being Just so that some dude will like you That's bullshit You know Well no but I mean Is there like

I mean maybe I should just like fuck myself all the time with like a dildo so i seem as if i'm like super sexually satisfied and like don't see i i just think i mean not in public though because you're so you are doing the so are you doing the thing you know come on give it to me let's go let's go let's go let's go i haven't i don't have sex with anyone i mean i mean when you are well that's the thing about women is uh they they can be horny but not have sex which is a concept alien to men but you know what I mean because women

can only have an orgasm well I can't I'm not going to say it all the time but women need to be kind of have an attraction for a man beyond the physical right or I don't know what I'm talking about not necessarily I don't know

some women I mean that's the myth that men will just spread their seed around and they don't care but women need to nest and all that stuff and my shrink who I've been seeing for almost 17 years now says that that's bullshit he said that men are more craving of intimacy than women

are. That men, that's why men become stalkers and, you know, murderous stalkers and stuff because somebody's... Do you think they should become a murderous stalker? No, but I just, that people, when men, when a woman is nice to a guy, they just latch on them and say that, you know, she's my girl. Yeah, that's me all right.

I've certainly done that, but the beauty about me is I'll get over it just as fast. So there's no real danger. You'll get some text, you'll get some Facebook messages, perhaps. But I'll You probably won't be standing outside your door. Right.

Right. But there are guys that don't have that switch, so they can't turn that rheostat down, you know, the volume control down. But see, I never get that except from, like, losers. Like, losers all the time, and you're not a loser. Like, and you've never, we've never, so I'm not talking about you, but like, I mean, like, yeah, losers want to, you know, date me and tie me down and or whatever the fuck you were just saying that you do with women. Yeah, well, like they just, but like guys who I have not had someone who was some great catch who was like, I mean, I'll, I'll date them for a couple of years and they'll, you know, love being my boyfriend or something, but I've never had someone just be like, I cannot let this precious jewel of the Nile go. I need to lock this shit down. Could it be that there's a definition bias that the only people that cling to you are. Yeah, it's going to be. are people you're going to call losers.

It's the ones that don't do that. Like a dumb person? That clings to you and puts you on a pedestal. Person that's dumb. Like a dummy? Someone is dumb. Like dumb in what sense? Like they are not educated.

They're not well spoken. They don't have a good job. Like what? I mean, just not someone who. I try to be really open. I mean, I really do. I'll, I'll, I try to not at all be, I mean, you know. Well, I have to say in your writing, you're one of the most open people I've ever seen.

But I'm not really. I mean, you don't know anything. Well, you know, but yeah, no, I understand. I understand. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, people like that.

Yeah. So, anyway, all right. Well, if anyone thinks of anything, let me know. That's tough all over. I mean, you know, Kristen, you know, had a whale of a time. finding the right guy but now she's got it yeah well i will say that i you know i don't know and maybe you know to mandi this is considered selling out but i have a very dominant personality as well i mean i think we have kind of similar personality but i have learned you know maybe and

maybe it was working in a comedy so do you now have a guy who's more like a sub not i'm not saying you like dominatrix him no he's an alpha guy right yeah he's an alpha guy see that's what's hard is for an alpha girl to find an alpha guy but what i'm more what i'm saying in the selling out is that I learned that I have to tone it down. Oh, yeah. I've, you know, because I've worked with a lot of comedians and I've, you know, spoken with them or whatever. And I've had comedians say, you know, you're hilarious.

Can I just marry an old guy like Rich Voss? Can I just do that? But like, you don't, you know, guys say we, you know, we like hanging out with girls, but you don't, I don't want to date me. Like, you don't, guys don't want to date a female version of themselves. Like, they like that. It initially gets them interested. Right, because you're in there ball busting.

Yeah, I'll just make my own money and then I'll just be with some sycophant who's like a yes man. Well, whatever. I mean, if they're like good looking and funny, you know, who cares? But I think it's helped me. Like, I think it's better for me to not be, I used to be constantly, like, ready to say something, like, have my next comment. But like, I'm, but that's my essence is like being kind of a, but I just found like kind of another essence. that I developed. But can you imagine me making a living as like a writer and and

podcaster just being like, well, so today's measured podcast about porcelain place? Turn it off. Turn it off for guys. Yeah, when you get in your life. In my life. You're podcasting and your writing and then go home and turn it off. I mean, I think I do.

I think I do. You're telling Mandy to change her fundamental essence as I believe That's how you phrase it, Dr. Steve. Well, I mean... I think I am that way. I think people who know me don't see me as being... I think you got to be the best Mandy you can be and... And apply the golden rule, Mandy.

I think we have a lot of aspects of our personalities and over the course of life, you find a certain aspect that works and you over... Can you give me... Can you just give me an example of the old me with men would do X, but the new me in order to be amenable to men and to have a great boyfriend? friend does why can you give me an example the old me would break balls to the point of like being a guy's friend sure yeah yeah yeah the new me is like I'll make a comment but then the next time you know in the next round of conversation I'm like nice him which is not me not being myself I mean I'm a

nice person it's just that I have to kind of resist that urge to constantly I like I had no problem with the old the old Montella did you have a problem with the new Montella I didn't I'm not so sure I've noticed a tremendous difference. You may not have your relationship with him probably has a change. It's just in a relationship setting. And that's not changing your essence either because a guy who bust balls can't go home and bust his girlfriends or wife balls the way he bust balls with his eyes. And you can, but to a certain extent.

To a extent. Right, exactly. Like, whereas you could just destroy your guy friend and just seek out to hurt his feelings and then laugh about it later. Because it's hilarious. Right. But you don't want to do that to your Your girlfriend or wife

Right, right It's the same So in the space of this podcast Say I was on a date With Dan So the new me If I was trying to date Dan I would be like

Oh I'm so sorry to hear that you have that Fobia that sounds really hard No But I think it's really courageous That you are able to talk about it And you come to terms of it I would say this goes out of her mind She's calling me courageous

That sounded pretty good to me i would say let's let's split the difference and just say yeah that kind of sucks let's do some coke something like that whatever no i don't be fake like you don't want to be fake it's right thank you for the advice i appreciate it yeah i didn't hear any advice in there at all but no there was advice that's good christin thank you oh christin's advice yes yeah yeah yeah we got old montella my advice was don't tell me i'm courageous right right it's clearly not the case no but i think mandy is awesome and if she if something is keeping I would letting people see that

awesomeness to the point where they want to hold on to it incidentally that's a problem Kristen is not necessarily opposed to a same sex experience is that correct does that have to do with me it does now Kristen okay you said that you think are you asking me to like eat Kristen out because I'm not

going to hold on let me just get the cameras she has a boyfriend I still wonder he wouldn't mind I'm dead to her if Mandy is defined these guys as losers because they are exhibiting a certain behavior. I have something to show you. I'm going to show you the guys who fucking poked me on Facebook.

They're all like 82 years old. It's already loser. Someone's poking you on Facebook. Those aren't people you're having a relationship with. No, but I'm saying like they're... That's ageism as far as I'm concerned. Dude, my last... The last guy I was really into is 21 years older than me.

Yeah. The 50-year-olds love you, by the way. I'm just saying. I don't know why. What do I do when you jerk off to the idea of me? What do I do in the fantasy? So anyway, let's talk about Obamacare. He talks about Obama.

You guys are all self-employed, right? No. I'm not. You're not. Okay. She's a student. I'm a student. She's like the Diane.

I have corporate insurance. I have Blue Cross. You do? I'm in the Freelancers Union. Okay. So Dan. I'm in the freelancers union. so I pay, you know, monthly for it.

Okay, and how much are you paying? $500. A month? Yes, sir. And does your insurance qualify under the new Affordable Care Act? I'm not sure. I don't know. I haven't investigated.

I don't like paperwork and... Adulthood. I don't like adult. Actually, that's quite true. I don't like adulthood. I think that's really courageous of you to share that with us, Dan. Well, if I want to help others that have the same problems, that's why I think Turn it into a PlayStation game where you sign up for health care.

Would that be better? Well, let me be a step in the right direction. I mean, I have a friend. And I thought more of you guys were going to be affected by this, but we can still talk about it. I have a friend. I mean, health care, if that helps. Sure. Yeah.

This friend of mine is self-employed, and he makes good money, and he just pays cash for everything. I don't like going to the doctor because they ask me what I do for a living, and I say comedian, they say, you make a living at that? Right. it sounds like you could turn that into material then they judge me and then they but anyway go on I'm sorry, Dr. See, I've interrupted you. No, that's okay. He pays cash for everything

and he couldn't get anybody to see him. He's got a kid who needed something and he couldn't get any doctor to see his kid because he'd call up. They'd say, what kind of insurance do you have? He'd say, well, I don't have any. And click. Wow, that's rude.

And so he went to or he came to me and asked me about I said just go buy a catastrophic health insurance policy You noticed Dr. Steve didn't treat him though He just totally didn't buy a policy He directed him where you go He was asking for something I didn't

Well I can't help you I'm sure I mean if you see me coming You've got a real problem In hospice and palliative medicine What about euthanasia? How do you do any of that? What the young Chinese people

No yeah I knew he was going to go for it Of course because I'm a hack I'm not a comic. No, euthanasia for us is unethical. Now, there are states in this country where euthanasia is legal, but not where I come from. Has anyone ever been fucked to death? Buga Buga.

I'll have to get back to you on that one. Is death by boogabooah. I don't know the answer to that. I'm sure it's happened. Don't you know that joke about boogaboo? Everybody knows that joke. I don't know it. That's a joke where they say,

can either have death or booga booga and he said the first guy says i'll take boogga and then 10 guys fuck him in the ass and the second guy says oh i'll take death and he goes okay death by boogga booga you don't know that everybody knows that joke it's a fantastic joke wait i'm surprised but i would think they would want people that have no insurance and they're just going to pay cash yes you would think so because really you crank up your what you're billing because you don't have to take the medicare rates because of medicare that's right so if medicare pays you 80 you charge 160 and all the cash-paying patients have to pay $160. Right.

But they've got to know you have the cash because they can send you a bill. And most people get that bill and they're like, fuck, I'm paying. What if someone was bleeding to death on your doorstep and all they had was like bartering? Then you're required to treat them.

Bartering? Like if you're bleeding to death, do you have time to barter? Yeah. Like I have this great boat. I have a canoe. That's what I'm saying. I can give it to you if you help me.

Every other weekend you'll have you. Time shift. If you take any federal money i.e. Medicare, then you have, you're, you are required to give a certain amount of free care and emergency care is considered that. You can't turn somebody away who has a legitimate emergency. So you have to treat them. But you can still bill them and you bill them for it, but, you know, you have to treat them just enough to not have an emergency or just or all the way. You got to stabilize them. Just stabilize. And then they can leave your,

then they go. Then you just dump them out. Well, I mean, you know, yeah. I mean, if they, if they would come to harm, if you, if you discharged them right then, then you've got keep them. So yeah, you've got to treat him. But what the fuck was I talking about? Obama. Oh, yeah. And your friend having cash and nobody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So thank you. And he, so he went and got a, I said, just go get a catastrophic insurance policy. And then when when you call these places, they ask you what you've got, you say I got Blue Cross, even though he'll have to pay everything up to $5,000. And it worked. He got in. That's actually really smart. That's good advice, yeah.

Thank you. But it's not working out now because he got it and it was working for him. He'd just pay cash wherever he went and he never went up to the $5,000. But if he got in a car wreck and ran up a $300,000 bill, they'll write off the $5,000 deductible. He would never have to pay it. Well, he got a letter from the health care administration saying, or from his insurance company saying that his catastrophic health insurance was no longer legal. It didn't qualify under the Affordable Care Act. Under Obama.

Right, under the Obama Care. Because he can't just have catastrophic insurance. So they canceled his policy. He now has no insurance again. He went on the exchanges to get insurance, and it was four times more than what he's paying now. Okay. Huh, that's interesting. So it's...

Are you a Republican? No, I, you know, I'm an independent. Are you an anarchist? I have, well... Yes, the tie says anarchy all over it. I'll show you, this is a visual thing, but I'll just pass this along and I'll stick it up on the web.

Is it a dick pick? No, that's a picture of me in college. So at one time, I was indeed an anarchist, and if you'll notice on that picture, I wouldn't go by God smile for the man. Yeah, that's a cool picture. And on the back is the Viagra, you know, plump. That's what I was thinking, too.

I was thinking the same thing. thing are you in favor of a candidate single payer type system uh the doctor part of me is uh is kind of in favor of that because i have 40 single payer is that we're talking about yeah just you know and i understand the problems with that i was going to move to australia last year i got offered a job they're going to pay me a third more than i'm making now oh do it and well i was going to until i ran the numbers and they take out so much taxes that i was actually going to be making just a little bit more than a half of what I'm making here. But I could crash at your place and come visit.

So can you take that job? Man who'd wake up with a dingo throwing up. It's a radio offer or a doctor offer? That was a doctor offer. So, yeah, there are problems with that. And all the people that are working for Blue Cross Blue Shield that would lose their jobs under something like that. I mean, there's a lot of ramifications for us making a huge ship like that.

We should have done it years ago. But, you know, and I have. America is just not that kind of place. We just don't care. I have 40-year-old patients with cancer who lose everything because they lose their insurance because they lost their job because they were out for six weeks doing chemo and now they lose their house and they lose their wife and they lose everything. All they have to do is sell meth. I don't understand. Right. Right. And at what point are people going to call out the insurance

companies for all of this? Why do you think that they send a letter to your friend? Because they can bring them up to a much more expensive policy. Well, it's excuses like that. But insurance companies are businesses, it's not their job to, their job is to make money, right, which is exactly why they shouldn't be involved in people's life or death. Then we have to be willing to make the decision to have the government do it. But if we're going to leave it to the private sector, we have to accept that the private sector is going to do what the private sector does, which is trying to make money for themselves. Otherwise, they're not going to do it. And if you say you can't deny people for prior conditions, so what do people do? They wait until their heart disease gets so bad

and then they go ahead and sign up for insurance and now it's a net deficit for the insurance company from day one the way insurance is supposed to work is you have it, have it, have it, and then maybe you use it and if you run a deficit it's paid for by the other people who aren't using it.

Well, good, fuck them. It serves them right because that's what they do. As soon as you get sick enough, they drop you. Well, so fuck them. So maybe just whenever anyone gets sick, like a cold, yeah, they should just all kill themselves. Like instead of like NyQuil or something? And it would cure the vomit.

Dr. Steve, I have dental insurance. I haven't been to the dentist. Are you ready for this? 20 years. Oh my goodness. Are you kidding? Are you kidding? I'm not kidding.

Why do you have dental insurance? I happen to have it as part of my freelancers program. I guess I should go for a checkup, but my teeth don't hurt. I don't see any stuff on them. They look pretty good. No, you can get a sonnet kid. It may well be that there's very, very, abdominal disease going on that I can't see, but I brush my teeth.

I'm not seeing excessive bleeding or really any bleeding unless I brush very hard. One of the funniest toothless comics out there, though. Well, I'd have a hook fun. Dr. Steve, I have to, I have a spot-up time. I don't know how long. Yes, of course. No, but I, we're going to wrap it up right now. Okay.

I don't want to wrap, I mean, I don't want to, you know, whatever. It was really courageous of you to say that. Thank you. I wanted to say something, and I forgot what it was. I really want to thank everyone who came here. here tonight i don't think we solve anything yeah we did i learned a lot did you yeah okay well good um thanks always go to uh sam roberts you got anything to plug yeah not sam dot com has uh all my videos videos and my podcast and everything okay and uh dan adderman what do you got to plug uh besides

i'm dan adamant at dan adamant you know quite honestly uh nobody's looking at it anyway but Whatever. I'm just like, I got to plug something, I guess. Your spots? You don't have to. How about your spots? You got something? This will be up next Tuesday.

I'd like to thank Steve. I'll have to bleep that out. Oh, you don't, you don't. No, I'm anonymous. Oh, you're anonymous. Steve Anonymous. Well, I have to be. My corporation would fire me if they knew what I was doing on this show sometimes.

But your voice is so distinct. Yeah, but I have deniability. I can say that guy sounds like me, but it's not me. That's Casey Kayson. That's right. And I've even gone on Lewis's show and said my actual name was Neil just to throw everybody off. The top 10. I said Dr. Neal doesn't sound good.

You remind me of cousin. Who's that guy who's friends with Elvis? Who's the famous DJ? Cousin Brousie. Yeah, you're running at Cousin Brousie. Why don't you tell us before the show, don't say my last name. Well, I didn't think it would ever come up. I didn't know you knew my last name.

Well, you're passing around your college ID and it's an odd last name. That's okay. Don't feel bad about it. Just beep it. Kristen, you got anything to plug? No, I would like to remain as anonymous as possible, actually. Okay. Mandy.

My name is Mandy Stantmiller, and I hope everyone subscribes to my podcast news whore on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com slash newshor. Owned by Rob next to me. And Ex-O-Jane, too. Check her out. Very honest writing seems to be. If it's not, it's honest, sure. Great interviews, too. Yeah, very good.

And Rob Sprantz. Yeah, I'm certainly not going to plug Mandy because I'm dead to her, but go to ritecast.com, check out my show The Whole, and ritecast.com, with all the great shows. All right, many thanks to our listeners whose voicemail and topic ideas make this job very easy. Go to our website at Dr.steve.com for schedules and podcasts and other crap. Until next time, check your stupid nuts for lumps, quit smoking, and get off your asses and get some exercise. We'll see you in one week for the next edition of Weird Medicine. Thank you.