Weird Medicine: The Podcast - 163 - Rob Bartlett

Episode Date: June 24, 2015

See Rob Bartlett LIVE June 27, 2015 with Tony Powell at Ocean State Theater 401-921-6800. BUY TIX NOW! Also gustatory rhinitis, chronic cough in a kid, and more!   amazon.doctorsteve.com   simplyherbals.net Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Weird Medicine with Dr. Steve on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. We're missing contains mature contents that may be offended to some listeners. What did they wrong in? You know, your house is like another. I've got diphtheria crushing my esophagus. I've got Ebola vibes stripping from my nose. I've got the leprosy of the heartbell, exacerbating my incredible woes. I want to take my brain out and blast with the wave, an ultrasonic, ecographic, and a pulsating shave.

I want a magic pill. All my ailments, the health equivalent of citizen cane. And if I don't get it now in the tablet, I think. I'm doing, then they'll have to go insane. I want a requiem of my disease. So I'm paging Dr. Steve. You do to take the cow foe, ho, ho, do the learn of fame. It's weird medicine, the first and still only uncensored medical show in the history of radio, now a podcast.

I'm Dr. Steve with my little pal, Dr. Scott, the traditional Chinese medical specialist who keeps the alternative medicine weirdos away. Hello, Dr. Scott. Dr. Steve. And we also have GVAC, the cackling hyena with titanium turds. Hello, GVAC. Good evening slash afternoon. This is a show for people who would never listen to a medical show on the radio or the internet.

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All right, very good. Well, hello, my little friends. Good afternoon, sir. How are you guys? Good, good. How about yourself? I'm doing good. I'm having trouble hearing you, though, G, Vak. Let me try it again. Uh-oh. Oh, there we go. All right. Hey, don't forget to try Amazon.com for all of your Amazon needs. Amazon.com.com.

dot dr steve.com you can spell the doctor steve either way and it is a way to keep riot cast and weird medicine afloat. Don't forget, we've got Jim Florentine coming September 19th. This is a weird medicine event, but we're not playing it as such because we don't want to make a big splash in the little town that we put this thing in, so just keep it on the downlow. But it's et ncomedy.com for tickets. They're going fast, so if you want to see Jim Florentine and a band called Asylum Suite and hang out with your pals and try BM John's stupid craft beer and have a pre-party and an after party for 20 bucks, then go to et ncomedy.com and check it out, and we will see you there. Don't forget tweakeda audio.com, offer code fluid, FLUID for 33% off. let me tell you something their customer service is the bomb it really is i bought a pair of the eddy

headphones for my kid and he promptly dropped them and the the the earpiece came off and they were just destroyed and so i emailed them and uh said can i please figure something out i'll pay for another pair and uh they fixed them and had them back in um you know really literally a couple of days that's insane. So they're really, really good about that. And everyone that we've talked to has said that the earbuds and headphones are great, but their customer service beats everybody. So check them out at tweakedaadio.com and use offer code fluid for 33% off. Also, my kids will appreciate if you use lutecrate.com if you want to do lutegrade. They're not a sponsor of this show, but my kids get a couple bucks off their next lute crate if you use that.

And so they will appreciate it. So thank you very much. And then check out Dr. Scott's herbal bullshit at simplyherballs.net or in the vernacular, simplyerbils.net. She's, I got to get something to plug. I know. I know. How about plugging Dr. Steve? Maybe he needs to be plugged.

No, thank you. Hey, and, oh, and everybody I had tweeted out that we have the anti-Lady Die. She didn't make it today, but she, her name is Diana, and she is the anti-Lady Die, or we'll call her hot lady die. And she's going to be taking JVAC's play sometimes for the Sirius XM show when he can't make it. So she's going to play the part of the layman. That's assuming my wife is okay with it, because I'm not 100% sure. her that she's okay with this tall, very attractive blonde hanging out at the house. But I told her that I was hooking her up with Dr. Scott.

So I thought that would make it okay. I'm not sure it did. We're going to see how that goes. Oh, you're always throwing me into the bus. Tough life I have. Let me tell you something. Rob Bartlett, our friend of the show, started performing stand-up comedy in 1978, hoping it would lead to a career in acting.

And nearly 30 years later, Rob is because, become one of the most versatile performers around. He's a successful actor, stand-up comedian, radio personality, and writer. He first teamed up. Did you know this with Eddie Murphy? Oh, my gosh. And they built themselves as two guys as the identical triplets. No, really?

Now, I have to say something. Let me bring him on. We're going to... Rob is a regular at the IMA show in syndication, a noted Broadway performer. Welcome to the show, Rob. No, I just want to know where Jim Florentine tickets are. You're going to go over there. Jim Florenton, I've got to go to the show.

You know, Florentine is the nice... It's not my best Florentine. No, it's not bad. I totally knew who you were doing. Of course, you said Florentine. But it's the, he is the nicest guy in the world. We had a guy that used to be on the show, and his wife, I took the two of them to see Florentine in Knoxville at this place called Side Splitters.

and his wife brought Florentine a gift, and it was a Tupperware tub full of homemade laundry detergent for a comic on the road. And I thought he was just going to completely shit it on her. And instead he took it and he said, oh, that's really nice. I could put my sandwiches in there. He's a funny, funny man. Oh, he is funny, but just a nice guy. So, you know, we would love to get someone of your caliber down here for this rolling comedy festival that we're doing. But we'll talk about that sometime.

I've got to see how this one goes. I'm busy. Okay, I won't put you on the spot. But his is September 19th, but we're doing sort of a rolling festival where if my head doesn't explode running this, then I'll do another one. And I'll keep doing it until we just fuck it up. so bad that I or his head explodes or my head explodes yeah well nothing like waiting to the last minute to promote something I know I know I know no I dude I've been promoting this since January and we've sold 50 tickets so far so but I think that's pretty good for

something that's bad that's starting in in September but that's not bad you know this identical trip it's four months away yeah this identical triplets thing cracks me up because I had a a patient of mine come in and said, you want to see a picture of my gospel quartet? And I was like, yeah, absolutely. And there was three of them. Oh, God. She just thought it was.

They really were three of us. It was myself, Bob Nelson, and Eddie. Oh, that really was three of you. Oh, Bob Nelson. I remember that name. Wow. But we don't often talk about Bob. Because the two most important people in that group were obviously Eddie and

myself. Of course. Obviously. Well, I heard through the grapevine that you actually had a medical question for us, and then we've got to plug your gig. Yeah, I have this purple and green thing on my schmekel that's oozing this yellow substance that smells vaguely of almonds but tastes like chicken. Is that bad? That's totally normal. Okay, next.

No, this is the weirdest thing, and it's happened, I think, since. I've put on a few pounds because I don't remember this happening when I was younger. Okay. Sometimes after I eat a meal, I will go into an uncontrollable sneezing fit. I'll sneeze 50 times. Yes. It's the strangest thing, and it's only after I eat, and it's only, you know, at certain times, perhaps I've eaten a little too much or a little too quickly, but it's the weirdest thing.

And it's the day I tried to track it down to food. It was an allergy to certain foods, but it happens with all kinds of foods. Yeah. It's actually... It's a answer, isn't it? I don't think it's a answer to be honest with it. It's a, there actually is a name for this, and it's called gustatory. Really?

Yes, gustatory rhinitis. And that just means irritation of the nasal passages after you eat, because, of course, in medicine, we always have to have a fancy name for everything. But gustatory rhinitis, and it's a, it is most likely a release of histamine. You know, we take antihistamines to keep our nose from running, so histamine, it follows, we'll make your nose run. And it's a release of histamine in the nose when the pharynx is stimulated with food. And people will get this. They'll get rhinitis with temperature change. Like there are some people call us and say, whenever I walk outside in a cold weather, I start sneezing.

And I've got other people who, anytime they take a bath, they get. get rhinitis, and then this gustatory rhinitis occurs, too. So there's lots of things that can trigger histamine release. And I've actually got a treatment for you if this drives you crazy. And it's a nasal spray called atrovent. And atrovent is a medication that decreases mucus production in the nose and also probably stabilizes these histamine globules from being released. and before you eat, you take a spray of this atrovent nasal spray,

and then you should be able to eat and not have any problem whatsoever. And after the show... I think I should just not have a sheet cake for breakfast. That might do it as well. What fun is that? Yeah, come on. How do you remember all this stuff? You know all this, I mean, I know it's called weird medicine,

but I've never known anyone who knows more archaic. pain information. I mean, I don't want to play hideous medical, trivial pursuit against you because it's unbelievable between the procedure where you yank the toenail out, which was really lovely to listen to by the way. Wow. I was eating. Of course. Well, I just do that to Skeve G. Back out. It's good to know it hits other people, too. It's horrific. You know, I just play for an audience of one. Yeah, gustatory rhinitis. Well, you know, this is what I do. If I asked you about the craft of comedy, I would be amazed at all the stuff that you know. And, you know, how do you think, you know, it's just how do we, how does anybody do what they do?

It's you just fucking, that's all you do, you know, and this is all I do. So you basically just try to remember as much shit as possible so as you get a paycheck. Yes. Oh, yeah. That $24 paycheck from Sirius XM. I tweeted another one of those out. So funny. It's so funny.

You know, I grew up, well, not, I didn't grow up, but I grew up in my, I grew up in my sort of comedy milieu listening to IMS and listening to Rob Bartlett and watching you guys on TV at 6 in the morning back before anything else was on at that time. I guess it was when you were on WFAN. Was it maybe MSNBC maybe? Yeah, we were at MSNBC first. And it was, you know, and then Opie and Anthony. and all this stuff, and I've completely forgotten what point I was going to make. What was I talking about? Your paycheck.

Oh, yes, yes, yes. And so I saw these guys. Thank you. I just turned 60, and Jesus Christ. And I was falling asleep. Where did the brain cells go? So, but, you know, I saw these guys, and they were making millions and doing well. And we did our first show, and Anthony Kumi, sat there and watched us do our first show.

And he said, that's the best first show I've ever seen anybody ever do. And we walked out of that building on 57th Street, looked up at the Parker Meridian and said, which one of those condos do you think we ought to do we ought to do we ought to get? And then I get a check from Sirius XM after doing this for eight years now for $24. Oh, my, that was a. Anyway. That is amazing. Well. That's like the first TV thing the triplets did was a local, like a channel news, 12 comedy.

special with Richard and Dixon, who was the Nixon-up-a-like, who had a club where we all met. We started working together. And it was a half hour. I think they shot three or four of them, and we were the first. And we shot at Hofsch University, and

we just thought, you know, and he was already picking out the color of the Porsche. And the next day, the day after it aired, I was at the mall, and this guy comes up to me, he goes, yo, my man

my man television I saw you last night on the TV with them too funny guys Wow Wow

That's no I knew that Oh Yeah You start getting that That erection And then it just goes Flaccid immediately That's psychological

Erection That's a great metaphor For my career I think It's achieving It's somewhere between, you know, soft turgidity and flaccid.

There you go. And slight two messants. That was the other word. Two messes is a good word. So who's this Tony Powell guy? We've got to talk about your upcoming thing,

hot fun in the summertime at the Ocean State Theater in Warwick, Rhode Island on June 27th. Tony Powell's a comic who I've known for nearly 30 years, maybe even 30 years.

When I met, when we get back after being fired, IMS was looking to increase the staff and, you know, bring another perspective to the program. And so Tony, you know, was one of the people who I had suggested and recommended. Oh, I know who Tony is. Okay, okay. I know who Tony is. He, I saw, I read an article in 2007 about him in New York Times,

catching a break and throwing down with I'm i just googled him right i remember this article so yeah okay yeah comic it's at comic tony Powell on twitter yeah he is a funny funny man i mean uh we're fortunate because we make each other laugh yeah it's it's it's unusual it's like a comedy marriage which is of course better than a real marriage because the real marriage about five years in she stops thinking you're funny so um but But Tony and I continue to make each other laugh As a matter of fact And when we're doing the show

When we do the program We write a behind the scenes blog As this show is going on And which posts on Amis.com And we're always doing things Just to make each other laugh So we're having a great time Yeah awesome

It's a great show because the two of us A very very different styles He's one of the most daring comics I've ever seen Because he will Really take his time He's got a very meticulously plotted out rhythm, and he will go for long stretches, setting something up without a laugh. And me, I need that constant approval.

You know, if I don't, you know, I'm sticking my dick in a chicken every three seconds to get a reaction. Hey, hey, what, nothing? And then Tonyl, by the time he gets a laugh, it's explosive. Yeah. He's really, really smart. So he's very, very clever. So this is a stand-up? So they will expect to see you two guys doing stand-up Saturday, June 27th at Ocean State Theater and Warwick, Rhode Island, and you can call 401-9-1-6-8-00.

God, I'd love to come to that. I've never been to Rhode Island either. Haven't either. Maybe we could take the show on a road. Drive slowly, or you'll miss it. No, wait, you'll be on vacation. I will. That's right.

I'll be at the beach. Fuck. Okay. Gveck and I can go represent. We're road-tripping. Let's do it. So, Rob, let me ask you a question. Yes, sir.

Why won't you do the radio freaks? What? Exactly. Exactly. That's all I wanted to know. Okay. I mean, do you mean like OB or? I'll explain later.

Is this an entity called radio freaks? Our call screener is Brian, who. who you know from the compound, I think. And he's been trying to get you on... He's been trying to get you on his show for over a year. And apparently he's been cock blocked by your management. And then when he heard that you were going to be on our show, he was just beside himself.

But we're cool, though. That's right. So anyway, I'm just shitting on him is what I'm doing. Yeah, the best answer you possibly could have given Rob was who? Yes, exactly. Hey, Rob, I guess what Rob doesn't know, too, is that they put me on the radio freaks. But when you clicked on radio freaks to see my picture, it was this gigantic porn star guy instead of my face. Oh, really?

Yeah. Yeah, I think that that was maybe that one of them might have been one of the reasons where we passed, is I think, you know, was that the guests on the show were me and the 85-year-old anal queen. Right. That might have been the reason why we pick a passenger in that one. The guest list isn't exactly, you know, like Conan or Fowler. That's his niche, though, is he'll have... The B players. Well, but he'll have Colin Quinn on and then, you know, Tits McGillicuddy.

Right, yeah. And Flash Brown and Carlos Mencia. So he'll always have a porn star and then a comedian. And usually it works pretty well, but I can... I think that's who I was on, what was Flash Brown. So they had a picture of Flash Brown besides Dr. Scott. Anyway, it was hilarious. Well, Rob, you got anything...

Is that the guy who invented the Dirty Sanchez? He's really a cool guy. He taught us all how to extend our... Orgasms. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, our ability... Our time. How to delay our orgasms, yeah.

Yeah, he's... And how might more do that? Well, his tip was to change position frequently. He said, if you notice in pornography, these guys are going on and on and on, but they're stopping and flipping her over and doing this and then flipping her in a different direction and putting it in a different way. And that pausing is what allows them to go on and on like that. See, I thought they were just trying to be really good to the woman. Right. Because they thought they were just being very generous lover.

Right, because they care just that much. They want to make sure she gets her fulfillment. That's what I was thinking. Hey, but the thing is, they get to use a whole lot more holes than we get to. You know, there's a difference. Well, that's true. Yeah, it's a difference for us. What a lovely way of putting it.

Yeah, Dr. Scott's for a clinical. I can see now why you were a national organization of women's men of the year. They've got more holes. Yeah, there are more holes in a week. I've got to get them more holes. That's my scientific, my clinical description of the female. Yeah, we go from just guesstable rhinoceros, whatever, to how many holes do women have? How many holes do they have in practice?

Well, that's an interesting question. One thing that we talked about last time, Rob, you might be interested in this, is, the average length of the male penis has actually been ratcheted down a half an inch. Most people will say six inches. And Dr. Scott and I, and I got fussed at by somebody because our math was off last time. But we were talking about male circumference.

Average male circumference is 4.8 inches. And Dr. Scott and I were thinking, what the hell are these, everybody else's penis? Look like refrigerators. Yeah, or a bag of beer. Or a football or something. Yeah, like beer cans. Like a foster's beer can.

Yeah, exactly. But it turns out that if your penis is one inch in diameter, which would be a pretty needle-y needle dick, you would have a circumference of 3.1415 inches. So I actually – So pie. Yes, exactly. You would have a pie circumference of your penis. And pie are not square. Pie are round.

But anyway, the – Oh, there you go. So the average 4. You got your calculator out? Yes. Get your calculator out. And so 4.8 divided by 3.1415. That will give us the diameter of the average male penis.

I think we did this last. No, we did it on Sirius XM, I think. I don't think we did it on the podcast. And I think it can't, but I'm going to double check, but I think it came out to like an inch and a half. Yeah, 4.8 divided by 3.1.53. There you go. So 1.5 inches in diameter, which is about. what we were thinking. So my theory on this is why we were so off is because humans have the

ability to judge distance, but terrible ability to judge circumference. And that's because you needed to know how far a saber-toothed tiger was away from you so you could either know whether you could get away from it in time or climb this tree or throw a rock at it accurately. But there was no need for us to have a hardwiring to judge circumference. Because everybody I talked to was way, way off on that. Sure. Sure. So anyway, there you go.

But just, um, uh, so I actually ended up being a little average or a little above average. I was six inches long and five inches in circumference, which makes you think that, that sounds like a circular, you know, but it's not. Yeah. I was very surprised. But anyway. All right, Rob. Oh.

He's all asleep. You mother fucking. I'm sorry. My best. No, that's fun. Yes, I'm hung like a salmon, doctor. All right, well, check out Rob Bartlett on Hot Fun in the summertime with Tony Powell, his partner on, I guess, on the IMA show, which, you know, after you guys got fired, I haven't seen Imas on TV since then, so I didn't recognize. Well, yes, you've missed the opportunity because we're no longer on TV.

Oh, okay. Starting tomorrow, we're just radio only. Oh, is that right? tomorrow? Yes. Oh, shit. It'll be just their radio program. Oh, I'm sorry.

Syndicated across this world. Yeah, absolutely. All Forces Radio as well. I miss just, he's like the energizer bunny. He just keeps going and going and going. It is incredible. You know, it is amazing, this guy. Yeah, he's been around for like 35 years that I know of.

Is it 35? All that vitrio. Yeah. All that vitriot keeps them fresh. One man has so much hate. just keeps them moving. All right, man. Check him out with Tony Powell at the Ocean State Theater.

Warwick, Rhode Island, 401, 921, 6800. Get your tickets now. And thanks for being on, man. Well, thanks for having me. You are welcome anytime. I really appreciate it. Absolutely. How many people listen to this podcast?

Well, you know, our serious XM, they keep telling me it's about 150K, but I don't believe it. I'd be surprised if we had 30. This isn't the serious XM show? Do you want me to, I can put this on the Sirius XM show, no problem. As a matter of fact, I'll, I'll chop it up and we'll, this is the, for the podcast. The podcast does very well. You'll have to call back. Oh, yeah, sure, yeah.

Like my audience is kind of like go to the internet and download something. I don't know, it's like radio, but I can't find it. Well, your audience is going to come anyway. You want our audience to come in addition to. That's true. I really do. I want all the people with all the maladies coming to the show. I want this parade of medical oddity. Hey, by the way, it's our mutual friend Big A's birthday today, so we need to say happy birthday to him on Twitter. Oh, you did? Okay. I have a good friend, Mr. Big A. He's going to the Comic-Con, I think of the Long Island to celebrate his birthday. Oh, awesome. This aunt is doing a live broadcast from there, and I think, I think, Ming Chen from comic book men is going to be there, and somebody said Lieutenant O'Houra was going to be there.

Oh, wow. What? No. Nichol Nichols? You're out of Scatman Brothers. I don't remember. Wow. Somebody that's going to do with science fiction.

I had such the hots for Nichol Nichols back in the day that I would have done. her up until the very end just out of just out of good memories or for old time's sake i've got a list of those i bought her did you buy her LP i did not i did not i used to spank it to her record god she had the greatest rack anyway all right oh unbelievable she's only 82 didn't she just pass away or she had a stroke yeah i know you know that was the thing is that they struggled too hard because if Kirk had really been going at it with her, he wouldn't have struggled so hard. They just did that for the TV because people couldn't accept a white guy kissing a black girl back then.

Right. Anyway. Yeah, stock was in that too, though. That's like the Vulcan salute is the original shocker, isn't it? Oh, is it? Yes, that is, right. But do you know the story where he got that from, what he said? is that he was at temple and they had to close their eyes while the rabbi did a blessing over them.

And he was, you know, not an obedient little kid. And he opened his eyes and saw the rabbi doing that. And that's where he got it from. Really? Yeah. So there you go. So the rabbi was a Vulcan? I think he just co-opted this sign that rabbis do.

And, yeah, there she is. We're looking at a picture of Nichols. God, she was fantastic. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Great fair, too, by the way. Great voice. Awesome. All right. So she didn't, she didn't speak the words like her, like her compatriots did. Both. No. Okay. There's no Captain Kirk Rocket Mask. The Rocket Mask. I think she actually sang the Star Trek theme song. They were real lyrics to it. Oh, come on. I've got to have that. Are you kidding? Okay, we're looking for that between episodes. I bet you somebody's put it up. Okay. Awesome, man.

All right, listen, take it easy. Thanks for being on. You're always a good friend. This is the big blowoff. That's it. I'm done. Oh, well, I don't know. You can hang out with us if you want.

No, no, no. It's fine. I just find out, you know, I'm on a cassette tape that you're going to sit there. Yeah, that's right. Fine, whatever. All right. No, thanks for having me on. And you take care, guys.

Oh, you're the best. I'm really looking forward to, to spring. spraying my nose before I eat because, you know, maybe it'll stop me from actually putting something in my mouth. Absolutely. Oh, and let me tell you something. Alcohol and spicy food are the two main triggers for people with gustatory rhinitis. So there you go.

Okay, well, I'm fucked. Hey, just don't breathe through your nose while you're eating. That might help. That's a stupid idea. I'm going to give myself a deviated step. Big old mouth breather while he's eating. All right. Hey, take it easy, man.

All right, Doc. Have a great week. Tell Amos, we said hello. Oh, he hung up. He hung up on me. There you go. All right. Hey, Steve.

Yep. Now that you're done fanboying, nobody in the Ustream channel got any of that because the audio is not working. What? Oh, yeah. Okay. They're right. Okay. They've all been screaming at me that I haven't interrupted you sooner, but I didn't want to interrupt you for that.

Oh, that's okay. That would have been okay. Rob gets it. It's totally fine. Okay, I turn the audio on now. I hate that. Well, you know what? They're just going to have to listen to the podcast this time. I will chop that up, take out all the parts that are embarrassing to me, and put it on the Sirius XM show this week. That's reasonable. Let's do that. It's reasonable.

Forget about the shit that's embarrassing to me. Thanks for that, by the way. Oh, dude, I planned that days ago. Oh, my gosh. when you told me that he wouldn't come on your show. That was awesome. Brian, you can't tell him anything you should know better by now. Well, I mean, I just couldn't resist. It's like, it's like, why won't you do the radio freaks?

And I knew that would take him. If I had said Brian's show, he would have known who I was talking about. But I had a funny feeling that he wouldn't know the name of your show. And that was the key to making that joke work. Who? Speaking of which, Dr. Scott and I did a tips course yesterday, and what that is is it's a class that's given by the alcohol beverage and whatever it is, commission or ABC, for people who are going to serve alcohol. And so you have to take it. And they had all these different scenarios and stuff.

And I was, they had a sign-in list. Oh, my God. I was fucking around and put an extra name on that. there and then passed it to the next person, the next person. And the lady looked at it and said, wait, there's one, how many, is everybody here? And she said, oh, did you not sign in? And he was like, yeah, no, I think I did. No, I didn't.

And so Scott signed in. She said, well, wait a minute. There's 15 people here, but there's 16 names on the list, right? So, oh, this couldn't have been any better. She starts naming off the names. and she's like, you know, Scott Smith and John Jones and then Drew P. Balls. And then I just went, we fucking laughed. Oh, God, we died laughing.

I was like, and I said, I am 60, and that never gets old. I'm so infantile. I just said, I'm sorry. I'm very sophomoric. And my wife was pointing at me. And I said, I can't believe she's going to read the name. James. I just thought maybe she'd see it later and laugh. Drew Peeballs. It was awesome. That was awesome.

So anyway, oh, geez. Steve, Steve was in a rare mood. He was, we were playing. Oh, we had to do role playing. Yeah, we had to role play. And Steve, Steve and his wife were, you know, she was like the server and she comes up to me. He's like, oh, my God, you're hot. Well, no. That was the scenario was that I had to come on to her and she had to figure out a way to I thought you were just doing it to be easier. She was like, do you want some snacks? And I'm like, well, I know what I'd like to snack on and just stupid shit like that.

That wasn't all that funny. It was, but what was funny was she had to pretend that she was an over-served patron. And I had to somehow figure out a gentle way to not serve her, right? And so she said, good you drink. And this is like every other night at our house, right? So, but John was sitting over there, and I said, you see that bald guy over there? He's my boss. And he's an asshole.

And the whole place just... We just died. They did laugh. That's great. It's like being back in elementary school. I'm just fucking with John. Yeah, but you could say asshole and dick and stuff like that. There's nothing more fun than fucking with John.

It was hilarious. Oh, my God. Was this a course on how to throw Brian's wife out of your house? after they've been drinking. Well, there's a story not about your wife, but about a different person's wife that got thrown out of our house, but I can't tell it on the air. But I will tell you next time I see you, if you remind me.

All right. All right. Okay, hey, check out Brian from the Radio Freaks on Radio Freaks. You started doing the show again? July 1st. July 1st. They're going to do the reboot after he's had all his surgery and everything. You're done with surgeries now, right?

Everything's going okay. Yeah, they've told me that four times already, so we'll see. Yeah, I got you. They did a complete peniculectomy, right? What? They took off your gut or an abdomoplasty is probably a better term for it. And they took out a piece of colon, is that right, and took out all the mesh? They didn't take out a piece of my colon, no.

Oh, I thought they did a resection, no? Okay, I'm wrong. They took an abdominal resection, not my ass, no. Oh, oh, okay, okay. Okay, got it, got it. Okay. At some point, I got the picture that you had a fistula and that they did a resection of part of your colon. No, no, no. Okay, okay. Okay, gotcha. So they did an abdominoplasty where it's basically a tummy tuck, right? And then they redid your hernia for the fourth time. Right. Okay. Yeah, they basically, but then they took all the fucking mesh out, everything started from scratch again. They cut me. from hip to hip this time

instead of down the midline. Damn. And I had they put surgical glue and stare strips up. There was 80 stary strips to give you an idea of how wide the... That's a wide incision. Yikes.

Wow. Okay. And basically they cut my stomach muscle open in half and then they went in, did what they had to do, excised all the mesh, took everything out from square one. They started from beginning again. Took my stomach muscles

folded them over each other, stitched them up, and then backed it up with pig mesh instead of the biosynthetic mesh they had been using. It's more compatible with human tissue. Okay. So they backed it up with pig mesh and then so it's up me back up. So hopefully this will be it, but we'll see.

That's crazy. Cool, man. Well, good luck with it. And stay in touch, will you? And thanks for, you can go ahead and as soon as we close this show out if you want to call our next guest. Okay.

Okay, man. All right, we're going to take one more phone call, and then we're going to get out of here. Brian from Radiofreaks.TV, check him out. Radio Freaks, starting July 1st, and watch his Twitter at Wood Floor Liquor. All right. Well, Landon from Texas, area code 936.

You're on Weird Medicine. Hey, Dr. Steve. Hey, we have a message on Twitter. a few times about my six-year-old being chronically sick. Okay. And just calling in to get your take on it. What he's, what they always come back with that,

he has a crooping cough, and they always give him moxacillin. And then by some weird kind of fate, we had some kind of a director at the Texas Children's Hospital, and he, or she, she got kind of more of a ball rolling on further tests, but it seems like every month he is just,

sick with a cough or a fever. We've been to the doctor so many times that kind of makes me wonder why they haven't raised a red flag on, hey, why is he in here so much? Is there in further testing when you do or what do you think that? Is there a system in place at hospitals like that? Yeah. Well, there should be. There's kind of a standardized workup for kids with chronic cough.

And they want to know if it's specific cough. In other words, cough associated with other symptoms and or sign suggestive of an underlying problem or if they have a non-specific cough, and that's a dry cough just by itself, you know. But you're talking about more of a specific cough because there's fever and other illnesses going along with it. And so, yeah, a pediatric pulmonologist would be the place to go. And your pediatrician, if you're going to one, shouldn't have any problem. sending you to somebody. And, you know, if he's chronically sick, that's different than just having a chronic cough.

And chronic sick kids, they need some blood work to make sure that their immune system is 100%. There are some kids that just have a chronically inefficient immune system, and that's good to know because that can have ramifications down the road. And, you know, the other thing you worry about in a kid with chronic cough is just, does he have asthma? So a pediatric or reflux. Or reflux could be reflux. There's just a ton of things. But the pediatric pulmonologists are the ones that can really nail this down quickly with the least amount of false steps. And, you know, you may have to go to a university center to do that.

You in Houston? Oh, you're in Houston? No, are you in Houston? Yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah. Oh, God. Yeah, man.

There's got to be a hundred pediatric pulmonologist. Just in Houston by itself. So I would definitely request that your pediatrician send you to a specialist for this. And maybe pulmonology wouldn't be the best place to go. Maybe immunology or allergy, depending on what his doctor has already done, because there may be some signs that are leading them down a different pathway. But I would definitely talk to them and ask them exactly what you asked me. You know, this kid's always sick.

How old is he? Mm-hmm. He is going on seven now, and he, the last visit we had with him, they wanted to do an antibody test on him. Would that be some one of the tests that you're talking about? Maybe, yeah. If they're going to, if they're looking to see if he's producing immunoglobulins properly, then yes. And there's a couple of tests that they can do to look for that just to see if he's got the normal levels of immunoglobulins. And if he doesn't, then there's things that they can do. But it's more something that you need to be aware of than anything else.

And if you'll email me, and I would think that I would have given you this information already, but email me if I have at Weird Medicine at Riotcast.com. And I'll try to send you some more specific information about this. I've got it up right now. They've got all. What you got? Well, I've got the pulmonary team at Texas Children's Hospital. It's easy to find.

Texas Children's Hospital, or Texas Children's.org, and then go to the pulmonary team. And they've got all the doctors and everybody listed. You can download the request for. Can you do a self-referal? Yeah, it looks like you can. Some places you can self-refer. It looks like you can. It's always better if you go through your primary care, though, because they kind of need to know what's going on.

Right. Because when he gets, you know, rhodovirus or something, and I guess he's, he's past that. But if he gets some gastroenteritis, gets a puke bug and gets dehydrated, that's the one that's going to treat him. And he needs to know what these other guys are doing. So you can do an end run around them, but I would only do that as a last resort if they just prove to be unresponsive to your needs.

Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah, we've had to go and kind of go above their head a few times and go to different pediatrics to kind of. trying to get more, something more done because the pediatrician that we go to, he seems like he's old school and just doesn't, he's not up on his knowledge of what medicine is up because he's referred to different medications that are not even available over the counter anymore.

So I just don't know if it's maybe we need to go to a different pediatrician. You can go to this website, that's always an option, too, if you're not satisfied, but you can go to this website, print off a couple of these guys, you know, men and women, in health care at Texas Children's and just say, would you mind making a referral because we're just getting concerned? And if he says no to that, then I think you have every right to find a different pediatrician. You've got to have a doctor that's going to be somewhat responsive to your needs. I mean, you don't want a doctor that's a trained monkey that just does everything you tell

them to do either, but this is not an unreasonable request. Okay, buddy. Okay. All right. Good luck, old buddy. Yeah, let us know if they find anything, okay? Okay, buddy. Thanks. Take care.

Thanks. It's frustrating when you have a kid that's sick and, you know, they just keep giving them a moxicillin over and over again. I mean, that's great for strip throat, but not going to do much else. A croup cough and that keeps constantly has it. It seems crazy. All right. Well, I really appreciate Rob Bartlett being on today. He's the greatest.

I'm very intimidated by having some. by having somebody that famous on this show. It's huge. All right. Listen, thanks, Dr. Scott, GVAC, fuck PA, John. Until next time, check your stupid nuts for lumps, quit smoking, get off your asses, and get some exercise. We'll see you in one week for the next edition of Weird Medicine. Thank you.