Weird Medicine: The Podcast - 300 - Prepare to Be Disappointed Again

Episode Date: February 21, 2018

Dr Steve, Dr Scott, Lady Diagnosis, Tasty D, G-Spot, El Crappo, and Magic Mike discuss fracture male members, and take a bunch of calls. Also includes "Are You Smarter than Big Jo" and more! STUFF.DOCTORSTEVE.COM simplyherbals.net Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why did the egg get sent to the principal's office? He cracked too many yolks. You're listening to Weird Medicine with Dr. Steve on the Riotcast Network, Riotcast.com. mature contents that may be offended to some listeners. Let me run. What did they wrong in? You know, your old's house is like another. I've got diphtheria crushing my esophagus.

I've got Tobolabovir, stripping from my nose. I've got the leprosy of the heartbound, exacerbating my incredible woes. I want to take my breath. No, blasted with the wave, an ultrasonic, egographic, and a pulsating shave. I want a magic pill for my ailments, the health equivalent of citizen cane. And if I don't get it now in the tablet, I think I'm doomed, then I'll have to go insane. I want a requiem for my disease.

So I'm paging Dr. Steve. Dr. Steve. Did you really have to do that now? Yes. It's weird medicine, the first and still only uncensored medical show in the history of broadcast radio. Now a podcast, very professional with lady diagnosis crackling, opening some thing. We'll find out what that is in a minute. I'm sure it's fascinating.

I'm Dr. Steve with my little pal, Dr. Scott, the traditional Chinese medical practitioner who keeps the alternative medicine wackos at bay. Hello, Dr. Scott. Hey, Dr. Steve. And she, who will do most anything for a glass of expensive wine, it's Lady Diagnosis. Hey, Doc. and we also have in the studio our new friend she was known as sweet virginer but that's just a horrible horrible name

so welcome her by her new name G-Spot! Hello G-Spot Hey Dr. Steen That's even better. It's way better and we have Alternate Universe Magic Mike the one who actually is talented Hello Magic Mike

Hey Steve, how are you doing? And out in the waiting room is the original Magic Mike, now known as El Crapo. Hello, Magic. Hello, El Crapo. And we all know why. Go back and listen to the show Magic Mike's Festival of Feces to know why his name is El Crapo. And in the waiting room also, my wife, Tacey.

Hi, everyone. Hello, Tacey. So you're delightful and lovely. This is a show for people who'd never listen to a medical show on the radio or the internet. If you have a question, you're embarrassed to take to a regular medical provider. If you can't find an answer anywhere else, give us a call 347-7-6-4-3-23. That's 347. Pooh-Hid. And if you're listening to us live, the number is 754-227-3647.

That's 754. 22 penis. Or 754 bare-nip, which is my favorite. Right, G-Spot? Yes. Just say yes. Or follow us at Weird Medicine, at Lady Diagnosis, and at D.R. Scott W.M., visit our website at weirdmedicine.com for podcast, medical news and stuff you can buy

or go to our merchandise store at cafepress.com slash weird medicine where you can get the Big Joe five pieces of fried bologna mug, which is very popular. And back by popular demand, we will have the triumphant return of Big Joe on this show today. Most importantly, we are not your medical providers. Take everything here with a grain of salt. Don't act on anything you hear on this show without talking it over with your doctor, nurse practitioner, physician assistant, pharmacist, chiropractor, acupunctures,

yoga master, physical therapist, or whatever. All right, very good. Yeah, the intro was sold. There's so many people in the studio. The intro ran out the intro music. So that's awesome. Wow. So thank you all for coming.

This is our 300th show. I'm going to call it prepare to be disappointed yet again. Keep the bar low. That's right. Oh, that's a good one. Let's call it that. Keeping the bar low. Don't forget Dr. Scott's website.

You want to check it out at simplyerbils.net. That's simplyerbils.net. And if you have a need to do some online shopping, go to stuff. Dottersteve.com. That's our Amazon page, and it has all the products we talk about, plus links that go to Amazon directly from our page. And don't forget, tweakeda audio.com, offer code fluid, F-L-U-I-D for 33% off the best earbuds on the market for the price and the best customer service anywhere.

And if you want to hear the archives of the show, including Magic Mike's Festival of Feces, which is really worth the listen. Go to premium.com for a buck-99 a month. You could go in for a buck-99, go download everything, and then cancel your subscription. It's basically keeping some of the more randy things that we've said out of the earshot of our employer. So anyway, one thing we need to get to before we get to our guest is Dr. Scott and I, two shows ago, did on the fly. We worked out the number needed to harm for cigarette abuse. And we found a study that showed absolute versus relative risk because we had a call. that was really trying to justify smoking by saying, well, you know, the risk to the individual is low

because he wanted to know what the number needed to harm was, which I love the fact that that people are listening to this show and learning enough that they can now abuse statistics in their favor. I think that's awesome. That's the first step in becoming self-aware as learning out of abuse statistics. Well, anyway, so Dr. Scott and I calculated on the fly, which, and we just, wanted to kind of show how you do that from that study that the number needed to harm for tobacco was like one in 500 and we were shitting ourselves because we knew that couldn't be right but it turns out it was right for that study that was just it wasn't a lifetime study it was

for a x number of year period and so for that cohort over a small period of time the number needed to harm was 500, so you would have to, 500 people would have to smoke in that study for that time period to get cancer compared to, to get an extra case of lung cancer, in other words. So somebody brought that to my attention because I knew it wasn't right, and then, of course, I forget about everything as soon as we finish talking about it. So I found a lifetime tobacco risk analysis. And again, we have to do the number needed to harm because they just give you the relative risk.

And they observed people over a period of 1987 to 1989 and calculated based on Canadian rates. Okay, so it wasn't just that the cohort, they just looked at the rates of cancer according to the population over those two years. and they found that 172 out of 1,000 male current smokers will eventually develop lung cancer. And for those who never smoked, and I'm just doing males right now, the lifetime risk was substantially reduced at 13 out of 100,000. So you'll notice that number isn't zero. Not smoking doesn't absolutely prevent you from getting lung cancer. It just drastically reduces your risk because that's all this life is about,

is risk mitigation. You know, we wear seatbelts to reduce our risk of dying in a car wreck. It doesn't prevent us from dying in a car wreck, but it does reduce our risk. And, you know, we eat well to reduce our risk of heart attack. Again, not 100% preventing. And you can see from this, these people who smoke, 172 of them got lung cancer. That means a whole bunch of people didn't. if if we had a blood test that would determine whether you would get lung cancer from smoking

and it came back negative I'd say go ahead and fucking smoke who care sure you know other than this just don't you know expose other people to secondhand smoke but we don't have that you never know if you're the one that's on the lucky streak until the lucky streak is broken So anyway, so if you do the absolute risk, that would be 172 minus 13. Oh, hang on a second. Let's do this. Alexa, what's 172 divided by 13? 172 divided by 13 is 13.

So there's a 13-30769-2308. So there's a 13-fold increase in lung cancer. in people that smoke compared to people who don't smoke, right? So that's equivalent to 1,300% increase, right? So that's the relative risk, but the absolute risk is going to be 172 minus 13 divided by 1,000, and that gives you 159 per 1,000, and that means our number needed to harm is going to be the inverse of that, and that'll be 1,000 divided by 159, it'd be 6.3. So that's way different than 500 that we got on the show the other day.

Now, this is just for lung cancer. So 6.3 people would have to smoke to get an extra dose or an extra case of lung cancer. And those are not good odds. I'm not chancing it for those odds. For women, it turns out it's 9.8, so women are less. likely to get lung cancer from smoking than men are, but it's still less than 10%. You know, so that's not a good, I would not go to Vegas and bet the house on those odds. Well, you know, everything causes cancer anymore.

So I wonder what the number of people that have cancer out of the total population is. Right. Well, and I don't know the answer to that. It's, you're going to die of cancer or heart disease, you know, or an overwhelming infection probably because of cancer or, you know, heart disease. So you just got to pick your poison, I guess. Yeah. Well, yeah, but again.

And then hope that it doesn't happen. You know, I'm a glass half full sort of person. My wife will confirm that, that when I found out that my calcium score on my, you know, that looks at cardiac risk was zero, which meant the likelihood I would die of a heart attack is almost nil. Of course, I said, well, that fuck, that just means I'm going to die of cancer. So, you know, because I'm a fool. But anyway, so this only looks at lifetime risk for cancer. There's other stuff that will kill you from tobacco. And this is just lung cancer.

So there are other cancers that you can get COPD or chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, aka emphysema or chronic barankitis, strokes, heart attack, all that shit. So don't smoke. Do not use these statistics to say, well, the odds are five out of six I won't get cancer because that's bullshit. all right okay so i just wanted to go over that um let's get to our guest because uh he's on limited schedule this is ross as dorian he's been writing comedy a narrative and commercials for um over 15 years he's a former producer for red bull media house and nbcc and over the past year his documentary work has garnered over 14 million views and been honored by the

Tribeca Film Festival. But that's not why he's calling today, though. Ross has the singular distinction of enduring one of the worst penile injuries in history in his book, Broken Banana, Spel B-A-N-A-N-A-H. Life, Love, Sex, Without a Penus is available at broken banana.com. Ross, welcome to Weird Medicine. Hey, thanks for having me, Doc. Yeah, man. Thank you for being here, and thanks for waiting so long. So tell us, this, I mean, everyone's cringing in the studio just from hearing the title of your book. So tell us what happened. Well, I was having sex in what I believe you medical professionals called Doggy Style.

There you go. And as kind of me and this girl were a person in fish line. The correct style. Yeah, that's what we would call that. Yeah, exactly. And there we were kind of getting. staying close to the finish line, and I kind of inadvertently exited the docking station for about a split second, and thinking I was still in the comfort of her home, kind of pushed

back forward, and she pushed back backwards, and just missed, and pop, basically hit a pop, a little bit of blood discharged, and I kind of peeled over, and I don't know if my eyes have ever been wider in my life. Yeah. Yeah, we've had other cases of fractured penis, and so people say, well, how can you fracture a penis, there's no bone in there. What's really happening is you are splitting

the sheath around the penis. So if the penis was perfectly elastic, it would blow up like a balloon. You just have this, you know, as it filled up with blood, it would just blow up like a big round, like a I don't know, like a pumpkin

or something. But it's not perfectly elastic. It's elastic in one direction. So it'll You'll get a little bit of girth, but you get a lot of length. And as you pump more and more blood in, it gets more and more rigid because it's only partially elastic, this sheath around it. And we'll see fractured penises, particularly when the woman is on top and has control and the man is not fully, you know, erect with an erection that a cat couldn't scratch. You know, when they're semi, maybe semi-erect, maybe they've been drinking or they've just finished or whatever. And the woman thrust down and bends the penis in half.

And you'll get a split where that, you know, because it's only, as I said, only partially elastic, it'll only bend so far. So Ross had a similar situation where he's thrusting forward, she's thrusting backward, and his penis bent basically in half and caused a fracture. So tell us what happened after that. Did you have excruciating pain that resulted in you going to the emergency room, or was that a later problem? Yeah, I think the man instinct of me took over, and I immediately knew something was wrong. Yeah. And I flipped on the lights, and I called 911, and I thought I was going to faint, and I looked dead in the eye. I said, I'm calling 911.

I think I proved my penis. I might pass out. Here's what you need to know. and then kind of sat down and stared and thought about my life for quite a while. Oh, my goodness. So you go to the emergency room and tell us what they, what I'm assuming they called in a urologist. Tell us that part of the story. Yeah, so the first guy they brought in.

The big issue was I couldn't pee, and that was the big red flag for them. So I was kind of just keeled over with a very inflated eggplant between my legs, with a red can and everyone's kind of looking at me and I'm like I can't go and I kind of had the need to go and that's when they started trying to do tests on me they put uh they did a cytoscopy i believe cystoscopy uh what they thought would yeah cystoscopy and what i thought would be a 30 second procedure ended up being about two and a half minutes of a camera inside my penis and that was when they still were like well we're still not sure uh until we open you up oh my god then we're going to figure out what the real problem is.

So I actually went under not knowing the full extent of the break. Wow. So this was not your run-of-the-mill fractured penis where you get a little split in the tunica on the outside. This was something more serious. So when they looked in there, what did they see? Did they tell you? They didn't tell you. Yeah.

Well, I mean, still be afterwards. Okay. We'll go. So you wake up. And then I came back to, and what I had done was I had two tears, and I had severed my urethra. So that was why I couldn't see. Yeah. And only in New York was I a couple blocks away.

So I had the urologist that was operating on me, and he had to call in a urethra reconstruction specialist who just so happened to be down the street, who then he said, a picture, obviously with me, to camp with everything and came back in. And, I mean, the magic hands put me back together. That's the beauty of living in the city that never sleeps. There's a urethral reconstruction specialist. A block away. A block away. Wow. So that's a microsurgery, the urethra's mucous membrane surrounded by some muscular tissue and some sheaths and nerves and arteries. And that's incredible. So do they, actually have to fillet open your penis? Tell us how they did the construct or the repair.

They did a circular incision, so I kind of have a Frankenstein scar and peeled the skin up and down. Damn. Like down the middle and open. Okay. There was not a space shuttle. Right, right, right, right, right. Holy moly. So what were the, so afterward, afterward, tell us how things went with this. So, uh, the doc basically. looked to me and said you had the worst the best outcome for the worst possible scenario explained that they had the surgeons come in and that they felt pretty good about it the worries were initially so I had a catheter in and their worries were basically loss of sensitivity like unable to hold an erection and then Peroni they were worried

about perone's and curvature from the scar tissue and so I went in I had two weeks with the catheter went in to see the You're a Reconstruction Specialist, to which I was a celebrity in the office. They were like, oh, Ross. I'm like, do you guys know me? Hey, it's that guy with the day. They pulled the cat. Yeah, well, they knew me because they had to cancel everything.

And also, I was the only patient under like 60 years old that was in the office. Wow. And so they pulled the catheter out. And they inserted dye, or they had already filled up my bladder so that when they shot the x-ray, rays of this dyed fluid coming out of my erasure, they'd see if there was any leaks. And with, of course, my luck, they do the shots, the doctor looks at the screen, he looks at me, and he just goes, hmm, and I'm like, it's not healed, is it? He's like, no, we have to do another two weeks, so they had to put the cavitor back in.

And, of course, this time I'm fully conscious, so that was interesting. And I had another two weeks, and during that time was when I started getting basically like my first erection, I woke up in the middle of the night. Oh, dude, you got a rod with a catheter in? Yeah, I sure did. I had this coming to Jesus moment where I was both very excited to be having an erection and also terrified because there was this like tube choking my penis

that was trying to Hulk. Of course. Oh, that's horrible. So they have the catheter in basically to keep the urethra. It's almost like a lee press on nail if you've got a broken nail so that it keeps the shape, correct? Right, right. And keep everything patent in there so that you're not clotting off your urethra as, you know, protein and platelets and fiberblasts from the healing urethra, you know, invade. So they've got to have a tube to keep things flowing in there until it completely heals up. So another two weeks of that.

But the other two weeks of that, and then they took the catheter out, did the same test again, which, you know, as a sicko, I had these videos of them injecting numbing gel into my penis and being like, what is his life? Which does nothing. Luckily, that time everything was sealed. Oh. Yeah, so it was like a numbing gel for when they put, or when they had taken the catheter out, and they put a numbing gel in so they could inject more fluid. So I wasn't completely full. So I was trying to pee, but I couldn't. and of course I hadn't been using my bladder for a month so I'm basically spasming out urine

and at that point I had healed so he goes okay well they'd already filled me up with all this other fluids you can go to the bathroom like normal and I'm telling you it was the weirdest experience of my life like staring at your penis being like okay this is where you pee and just spasming piss everywhere like I couldn't control it and so I I went In fact, if it's totally normal, you're going to have to kind of get used. You haven't been using this muscle. So I get back home. And because I had been getting corrections, he's like, listen, you know, you should not basically masturbate.

You should stay clear. You've got another probably two months. And so what he wanted me to do. Masturbation had to be the last thing on your mind at this point. Yeah, no kidding. Right. Yeah, you didn't need to tell me that. I don't want anything to do with this penis.

Sorry, go ahead. Hey, man. It's a mind of its own. Yeah, true. Yeah, so then he would have me do exercises, quote unquote, where he just wanted me to hold an erection for 20 minutes a day, which also is very weird to do, and just stare at it. And then the scar...

What's weird about that? The staring? That's what I do. I just get an erection and stare at it for 20 minutes. my penis. It was an exercise in self-control. Self-control. Okay, sorry.

Sorry, Ross. So, no, no. We have to always have at least 10 seconds for any inserted jokes. No, well, you know, this is just making us all very uncomfortable. That's what we have to use humor to keep from crying. But anyway. That's when you know what's bad is when a doctor looks at you and goes, oof. Yeah.

That was what happened when they were. When the paramedics, when the paramedics came, they come up to say at these two big jersey bros, and I'm sitting there on my futon, and they come up and they look at me and they look down and they just let out a sigh. I was like, y'all see some stuff. So for you to look at this, I know I'm in trouble. Yeah. Wow. So do you ever want to have sex again? I make the sweetest, most gentle love now to only stuff animals. That's a strictly, Oh, you're one of those. Overside, steady bears.

So. Wow. Okay. So they tell you, don't masturbate. Let's get to the end of the story here. Obviously, you're able to make sweet, sweet love, which is a miracle given what happened. Yes. So tell us the, absolute miracle.

Tell us how it all ended up. and where are we now? So I wouldn't be telling you the story if it didn't have a happy ending, asterisk. But the first time basically was, I mean, I honestly feel like, A, I'm one of few people who have had two penises in their life and also I felt like I lost my virginity again.

Yeah. Because the sensation, after literally having an erection staring at it, doing nothing, going next day, next day, next day, like it was an like it was a true explosion and this poor girl I mean she was a trooper and she knew

and it was someone that had had been incident with before so it was almost like a therapeutic I was like you know listen yeah the deal let's just let's just let's light some candles let's have some nice red wine and let's take it nice and slow

but everything worked the systems were go I had so you know the big fear especially when I was starting starting with that, that tissue was stretching. I basically had some pain kind of where the scar tissue was. Sure.

And that took about a year to go away, and that discomfort continued. So, but I mean, again, like, man, my surgeons were incredible. And for all of the stuff that, of course, you webmd and you search, and you're like, oh, my gosh, my penis is going to look like a candy cane. Like, you know, all the things that could go wrong didn't. Like, there was a little change in curvature. yeah like but given given the scenario it's incredible so when i when i tell you that every time i go to the bathroom and every time i like look down i'm watching football in my hands on my pants i'm

like thank you it's a blessing that's amazing happy for life's little pleasures is what it is so let's talk a little bit about perone's disease would take this opportunity sure that's a curvature of the penis caused by scarring on one side of the of that sheath. So scar tissue is not elastic and it won't stretch like the beautifully made tunic that's around the inner lining of the penis. And when you get scar tissue there, the other side will stretch, but that side won't. And so it'll stretch on the side pointing toward the scar. The scar. Exactly right. And so what happened with Ross is they did a, it sounds like They did a circumferential incision.

And so the scar tissue is circumferential, so there shouldn't be any curvature or very little curvature. So that's awesome. Maybe some ribs where they filled the skin back, but not a. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah, you might be, you might be lucky. You're kind of ribbed for her pleasure at this point, right?

That's always a plus. Only it smelled like strawberries. That's my pickup line. Well, I was going to say, if it looked like a, if it looked like a candy cane, that'd be one thing, but if it tastes to lack one. Oh, there you go. Now you're talking. Now we're talking. So, Ross wrote a book, and it's called Broken Banana, Life, Love.

Why is it spelled weird? Because I'm... So, it's kind of a, it's a hat tip to the story in the book. There is, you know, my life is kind of, I'm the guy that all the bad things happen to. Yeah. And so the story is about kind of... of the journey through medical trauma and I mean there's just a lot of comedy and in general just being through hospital and the there's a bit of a love story like any other story and it's a

reference to basically how this girl who I had been back and forth with we had this conversation where we're trying to come to terms with what had happened and the girl who I had slept with that was the perpetrator was not the same girl that like I had been kind of in love with and and by person. And so we're having this very, very kind of come to Jesus talk, and she has an accent, and the way that she describes it made the word come out like a broken banana. Oh, okay.

So that was kind of the way that we would talk about it. Because the only, your website violates the Greg Opie Hughes rule of websites and, you know, and Twitter handles is that it's, people are going to spell it wrong. So did you also buy broken banana with an A.com and then link it to this one because I'm just worried

that people are going to go to the wrong website. And God knows what broken banana with an A is. I don't even want to know what the other one goes. Scott, look at that. I always put the H as a capital

at the end of banana. But no, I didn't get that domain. Scott's going to look it up right now and see. Maybe that domain was available. I would have changed the entire scope of the book.

Well, you know, when Dick's sporting goods came out, if you went to dicks.com, it wasn't what you were hoping for. Or it was. Or it was. Unless it was, right, exactly right. Yes. But they've since bought dicks.com, but I don't know what that must have cost. What did you find at broken banana.com?

They were waiting for that phone call. Yeah, no shit. Actually, just pictures of broken bananas. It is? So it really is something. You might be able to pick that on them. Like real bananas? We got some broken banana.

It's a throwaway website. You might be able to pick it up. Yeah, so check it out, Broken Banana with an age.com. And the book is Broken Banana Life Loves Sex Without a Penus. But it's not really without a penis because you have a very functioning penis. As a matter of fact, that story about your first sex after you had the repair almost kind of makes it sound worth the whole thing. As a matter of fact, Tacey, could you break my penis tonight? and then because that sounded awesome or at least try

I'll send you a mouse trap to make it a little easy okay you got anything else to plug Ross I know you're all over the place no man that that would be the big one you know it's doing the book has been a departure from the film world but super rewarding and you know having been in comedy doing like a self-publisher it's been a journey and you know you you go hey like

you should go to a publisher and I'm like let me tell you what a conversation with a publisher with a book about my penis sounds like. Like, it's a really short conversation. Now, if you were Jerry Seinfeld, you could do that. Yeah, so maybe if I do this again in 10 years, maybe the sequel will be a little better. Right. But no, man, it's been great, and I've had a lot of support. I did a Kickstarter and, you know, sent the book around to people.

And, again, it's just like it's, you know, we're at a time where it's good to last. and a penis is, you know, not partisan, so it's easy to, like, hey, look, that's true. Like, we need to, so it's, it's really hard at a broken penis. You're absolutely right, whether you're a liberal or conservative or a libertarian as I am. It's still hilarious. Yeah, so it's good. No, I'm glad it's got a happy ending, man. That's awesome.

And I hope we'll meet someday. And everybody go check this book out, broken banana. dot com and I'll check it out there pictures tweet that shit to me too Ross and I'll retweet it

I mean what the hell you never know I will okay 100% it's so great having you on man I'm again glad you had a happy ending anybody else have a question for Ross Tacey Tacey wants to know how

can you break it right more tips on how to break a penis that's what my wife wants to know anyway all right man well just make make sure that you've got them really hard that's the key Okay. Zero elasticity.

That she can do. All right. All right. Take care, man. All right. All right. Thanks, Ross. All right.

Golly, can you imagine? I about threw up, yeah. Did you really? Oh, that was gross. Don't you, now this is, don't you wish GVAC had been here? This was made for GV. Yes. Oh, he'd have been all over that.

But, you know, it's not many times you hear of a compound fracture of the penis. I mean, you know, we hear and see them breaking, but actually to see some blood. Right. hell far so tacy we're going to take some phone calls from our audience and then we're going to get your mother in here for big joe uh big joe whatever it is okay we're going to take some phone calls real quick uh let's see who's been waiting the longest area code 917 has been waiting 51 minutes oh god i'm so sorry here we go area code 917 you're on weird medicine hello hi husband and dr steve a long-time fan

for listening back in high school and I'm a first-year-med student so I'm a great journey awesome very good congratulations thank you just had a question about I'm sorry I'm last on the laughter

I'm talking over the applause I knew you guys just wasn't in the past about ketogenic diets so I managed to lose a significant amount of weight on a keto diet over the past couple years and it's sustainable long-term

and was relatively easy but I'm curious you know I'm young and healthy normal renal function liver everything is great isn't something that's generally applicable because you know we have a monumental problem with metabolic syndrome in the country I'm curious what more people haven't taken this to heart more clinicians aren't applying this because and I'll tell you why it's because of the USDA and what they did to us as a society when they said we should be getting the majority of our calories from grains and

And the reason that they did that wasn't for health reasons. It was political reasons. We needed to sell more American grain. And so they made this pyramid and this big giant block at the bottom with grain. And all these nutritionists, dietitians, nutrition science people grew up with that. It's very hard to get that kind of dogma out of your head that the vast majority of our diet should come from carbohydrates. Dr. Steve, what's a ketogenic diet? Oh, thank you, lady diagnosed.

So ketogenic diet is like the most famous one would be the Adkins diet. We're talking about low-carb diets. And the reason they're called ketogenic is because when you run out of carbohydrate stores, which in our bodies we store them as a polysaccharide called glycogen. When you run out of glycogen, which is what happens to you when you're running a marathon and you hit the wall, that's one of the things that happens. then you have to burn fat. You have nothing else to burn except muscle, and you don't want to burn protein.

So that's why there's plenty of protein in the ketogenic diet. And so that spares your protein. The only thing that you can burn is fat. And when you burn fat, you produce these things called ketone bodies that are detectable on the breath and in the urine. So I have cured. I didn't do it. They did it. People have cured themselves of type 2 diabetes.

and metabolic syndrome by going on a ketogenic diet. And there's a lot of dogma and there's a lot of resistance to this because of what people think a ketogenic diet is because they see these people going, well, all I eat is steak and bacon, that's all I eat. And that is a ketogenic diet, but that's not appropriate ketogenic diet. And you will lose weight on that because you're becoming malnourished. And so many people heard about Adkins from their cousin who heard it from their brother. and you know what happens when you have the telephone effect, they get it wrong.

And so it was just so many dietitians saw that were horrified that people were just eating bacon and steak. But a true properly executed ketogenic diet would include lean animal protein, healthy fats, and green leafy vegetables. That's the majority of it. So it's misinformation then. There's a lot of misinformation out there. And now new data is coming across that is positive for, you know, showing positive results for low-carb diets on a lot of different fronts, weight loss, improving metabolic syndrome, improving diabetes and glucose intolerance. So I think as you progress through medical school, you're going to see more and more people accepting this. but it's going to take another generation.

We've got to get a whole generation of dietitians to, you know, retire before we're going to get people who are more forward thinking. I think that's my opinion. I might get a bunch of dietitians calling saying, I'm full of shit, and I hope I am. But what do you think? In your school, yeah, go ahead. Go ahead. Well, I'm sort of just to, you know, it's a sort of a follow question. Then, you know, we're often told to this, it's like a buzzword complex carbohydrates.

but I'm, you know, confuse them because, you know, with our curriculum, you know, you take biochemistry, complex carbs are cleaved, you know, hydrolyzed pretty rapidly to glucose, and you can use other, you know, sugars, you can use lactose and, you know, other agents that will become glucose in the body. The body is pretty straightforward. If it can make it into glucose, it will. Right. So is there really, you know, I mean, I basically, no more than 30 grams of the carbide is

a day. But, you know, they advocate this to people, like, it makes a difference, you know, their glucose levels and ultimately fat accumulation. Are complex carbs just simple carbs plus, you know, the time needed to break them down? Yeah, my opinion on this, and I can't back this up with excellent science, but my opinion is that complex carbs, you know, reduce insulin peaks because you're reducing the amount of glucose that's being dumped in the system quickly. So complex carbs lady diagnosed be like whole grain bread or yams and stuff like that that

that aren't so readily converted into glucose. So, no, there's the same amount of carbohydrates in them, minus the fiber, but you don't get those huge peaks of insulin. That's the problem with diabetes is you get these huge peaks of insulin that overshoot. And as you overshoot, the blood sugar now starts to drop. and the body doesn't like a state of low blood sugar. So after time, after time, after time of overshooting, overshooting with these peaks,

the body will turn down its sensitivity to the signal that is insulin. And when it turns it down all together, then that's when you have diabetes. And the hypothesis is that complex carbs will either slow that down or prevent that altogether. So there is a sugar busters diet where people eat brown bread, brown pasta, and yellow, or, you know, sweet potatoes. And no white bread, no white pasta, no white potatoes.

And some people have had some success with that. That's sort of an intermediate step between going that and going full low carb. But low carb's got to be done properly. And I would be horrified by some of the things that people are eating as well. So you can't just minimize carbs. You have to cut them out completely or all that? You're minimizing. I mean, it's impossible.

Even peanuts have carbs. And Tacey and I are going back on a more strict low-carb diet starting on Monday. And, you know, we picked up some peanuts and even those have carbs in them because they got a little bit of sugar in them, you know. Right. Or sugars. So, but, yeah, I mean, Atkins, I think his thing was 25 grams was where he would start people in there and then work them kind of back and getting a little bit more carbohydrates as time goes on. on. I'm not advising anybody to do any sort of diet, but I do think that the ketogenic diet is frowned upon in medical circles for not a very good reason. Okay, so thank you for your call, and we had to dump out on his call because we're having some technical problems, but we're back.

Let's take area code 603. You're on weird medicine. I think you are. There you are. You're on weird medicine. What's up? hello oh here we go oh there you go yep you're on hello hello oh for fucks yeah you're on can you hear me okay i can hear you okay what's your question you pick the wrong day for this go ahead i have a question about the flu yes tell us so i tweeted you on Wednesday about the flu. Okay. And my family got the flu shot, but the one person, we all got the flu, but one person that didn't get the flu shot. Well, yeah, I know. I hear it. And so the implication is that you shouldn't get the flu shot, right? Because. Right. Yeah, exactly. No, I get it. And I understand that. That's science. When you have, um, okay, so,

Here's how it works. It's a magic of large numbers. So you have, so let's say someone gets their flu shot was going to get the flu on Wednesday. They got exposed on Sunday. And they're going to get their flu shot on Wednesday. And so on Wednesday they get their flu shot. On Thursday, they get the influenza. There's no way in hell you're ever going to tell that person that the flu shot didn't cause them dead.

have influenza. So the flu shot isn't perfect. It definitely helps to keep even if you get the influenza when you have the flu shot, you're less likely to die from it or end up in the hospital. It's, you know, this year's is particularly shitty. And, but it's still somewhat effective. You know, even if it's 10% effective, if you're presenting 10% of people, preventing 10% of people from going into the hospital or dying, a.k.a. our friend Richard, who ended up, you know, in the hospital on the ventilator, who is now a huge proponent of flu shots, or our friend Barry the Blade who died of swine flu and not, you know, who didn't have a flu vaccine. So I hear what you're saying. It isn't perfect. I still highly recommend it because it does prevent death and prevents

people from going into the hospital, so I, you know, but yeah, it's just a crazy, you know, you guys have the perfect, the perfect statistical fluke to say the flu shot's bullshit. Go ahead, Taze. I did read an article yesterday. I can't remember where it's from, so this isn't very useful, but it did say it wasn't very effective towards adults this year, but it was far more effective towards children. Is that right? Yes.

Okay. And what's interesting is usually it's the very old and the very old. and the very young to die from the flu. But remember when we had the swine flu epidemic recently? The old were actually protected against it because they've been exposed to it before in the 70s. Right. So the elderly were actually, you know,

less likely to die from it than the people who had never been exposed to it, which were people in their 20s and 30s. We also have like a window. Some people are going in and they're testing, and they're testing next. and then within two days they have full-blown flu so this year it's a big difference of trying to test at the right time yeah it is hard the swab tests are not working as well this

year well and they're never perfect either but most flu-like illnesses people who have flu like illness actually don't have influenza because there are other things that can cause headache and fever and runny nose and cough during flu season and a lot of them aren't influenza so all those people in your family that got the flu where they tested and tested positive for actual influenza no um the people that got it my dad got it which is 33 my my dad's grim my dad's grandma my dad's girlfriend got it um my dad's girlfriend's dog got it which is 10 and then the person that didn't get it was six. Yeah.

And she was the only one that didn't get the flu shot, and she's fine. Right. And the other people may, if they didn't get tested, they may have had a flu-like illness that wasn't influenza, too. So they may have still been spared from the influenza. Influenza can be a killer. Most of the flu-like illnesses that are out there won't kill you. But anyway, I still think it's good that they all got their flu shot.

So you would recommend getting it next year? Yes. Yeah, absolutely. I'm never not going to recommend it. As a matter of fact, they're working on a universal flu vaccine that is going to be a one-and-done, sort of like polio. And when we have that, we won't have to worry about influence anymore. Just remember, in 1918, the influenza pandemic killed 1% of the Earth's population. Only 10% of people got it.

But of those, 10% of those died. So that's 10% of 10% is going to be 1%. Just imagine 1% of the Earth's population. How many people have we got 7 billion now? Alexa, what's 1% of 7 billion? 1% of 7 billion is 70 million. 70 million people dead. Just imagine that.

So we're trying to prevent that. But there's no drawbacks to getting the flu vaccine. No, you can't get sick from the flu vaccine. if you're allergic to the components of the flu vaccine. Is it eggs? Is that wrong? Yeah, eggs is the big one because it's incubated on eggs. You know, there's always downsides.

There have been people who've gotten Guillain-Barré syndrome from having the influenza vaccine. And when that happens, particularly if you die from it, it's tragic. But the risk of that is far outweighed by the benefit of the flu shot, even when we have a shitty flu shot. You know, there's risks to wear. wearing your seatbelt. There is a one and a million chance that if you wear your seatbelt and get in a wreck,

you could die in a fiery ball because you can't get out. Or drown. Right. But there's, right. No, she's exactly right. That scares me to death. Give yourself a bill. We're scared of that, but we should be absolutely terrified of not wearing our seatbelt because

you have a one and two chance of dying in a bad wreck if you don't wear it. So the benefit of wearing it far outweighs the risk of wearing it. It's the same thing with vaccines. All right. Oh, yeah. Thank you. Hey, I hope everybody's well. Give them our best, and I'd still get a flu shot next year.

Get a flu shot. Get a flu shot. Okay. Thanks, guys. Okay, man. See you. Uh-oh. We have, oh, my goodness.

42 minutes from Saudi Arabia. You're on weird medicine. Hello, no. Hello, man. You've been on, uh, how do you? Hamdala, how's it? Hamdala.

He'll erred in Omo Gazzal. Of course. He probably doesn't know what you're saying. I know we have no clue. We are clueless. That means, what's your problem? Yeah, I think, have you been learning from your

colleagues at the hospital? Yes, of course. I'm just throwing out the few sentences. I know the first one I said is, you know, it's like a face only a mother could love. It's a, what is it, El Ered Fian, Oma Gazal? It's like a monkey looks like a gazelle to its mother or something. The literal translation.

Yeah, a monkey is a deer in his mother's eyes. There you go. Okay, I got it. Right, right, right. I say that to Dr. Scott all the time. That's true. Adorbs. So you've been on hold this long.

God, I can't imagine how much that cost. Are you calling in on Skype or what's going on, man? Yeah, it's a couple bucks on Skype. Okay, I'm sorry. So it wasn't that big a deal. Okay, good. So what's up? How's medical school going?

Very good. In my fourth year, I have one more year until I graduate. Mumtahs. And the last time I called, that was the prep year. Yeah, so four years ago, I think. Oh, my goodness. Wow, that's awesome. You've got to get one of these. So is it everything you thought it would be?

It was even better than I thought. Oh, good. Good. Good. Now, are there any, I don't know how to ask this question. Are there anything in Saudi that you can't, or is there, I mean, is there any political impact or political component to the teaching of medicine in Saudi Arabia, say, compared to the United States, because there is political stuff here, no question about it. In what ways do you mean? Well, I don't know.

I mean, it's a different society, so I know that, you know, recently... Yeah, well, as far as examining women, for example, it's not... It's not really, I mean, in some societies, in some parts of the country, it might be frowned on upon. But right where I am in a big city in the capital, it's not that big a deal. I mean, I have examined women before. And I've had female colleagues examine men, and it's not that much of a problem. But otherwise, real, I can't think of any differences between the American system and the Saudi system. How does a woman get a pap smear in the rural areas of?

I have no idea, really, but I think in some cases they get transferred. In some unfortunate cases, they don't, and they end up having, you know, bigger problem because they leave these checkups, you know, they don't do them, and so they develop that complication sometimes, yeah. That's a problem here, too. One of the political things that we deal with is the Gardasil vaccine, which is a vaccine against cervical cancer, but it's really a vaccine against a sexually transmitted disease, HPV, or human papillomavirus, and people in this country won't get their kids vaccinated because they think we're encouraging them to have intercourse. But what we're trying to do is catch them before they're having intercourse so that they won't be already exposed to the virus, and that's very difficult. I just wonder if you have those same issues there. I'm sure you do.

Yeah, probably. I mean, I haven't had all that much of an exposure to the, you know, the everyday practice. Right, public health stuff. But so far, I, yeah. Well, are you ever going to make it to the States? I really hope so. Yeah, man. You got to come see us.

I'm thinking about trying, you know, trying to apply for, you know, residency in the United States. Oh, montaz. Yeah, let me write you a letter of recommendation. Never hurts to have the editor-in-chief of a national medical journal write you a letter of a recommendation. Nice. Just email me on the side. Yeah, I can tell he's thrilled about that. Just email me on the side, and I'll be happy to do that for you. I'm excited. I'm excited, too. Oh, Dr. Steve. Now, we're very proud of you on your progress, And I hope that we'll see you in the United States at some point. And in this studio, we'll have you in when we don't have a three-second delay on our conversation that kind of hinders conversation. But it's awesome that you're still out there, man.

Thank you so much. I hope so as well. And I have one question for you. Yeah. When did you decide which practice or which specialty you're going to go into? Oh, well, at the very last minute, I was. going to do therapeutic radiology, and at the last minute I changed to family medicine, and then I did family medicine for, gosh, 13, 14 years before I decided to pursue palliative medicine

as a full-time career. So it's a little easier for family medicine to do palliative medicine later than it is, say, for an internal medicine person to just all of a sudden decide I'm going to do cardiology 20 years later. so um but yeah you know what you want to do is you want to do something that you're called to do i felt i was called to do palliative medicine and i felt i was called to do family medicine when it happened because my mother was dying and my brother was a family medicine provider i saw the care that he gave to people and you know just something all of a sudden will just hit you and

you'll do it and um if you can't if that doesn't happen to you if the lightning doesn't strike then do something that you can at least have fun with. You know, I think the ones that have the most fun are dermatologists, plastic surgeons, and what's the third one? As? Oh, yeah, thank you.

Optomologists, that's exactly what I was thinking. So, ophthalmologists, they get to play with all the cool toys and stuff. So, you know, but you want to be passionate about it because you want to love your job. And what you don't want to do is do something you're just going to go, oh, God, I'm just doing this for the money. This sucks, you know, because you will burn out really fast that way.

All right, cool. And one last question. Initially, you said interested in therapeutic radiology. Yes. I'm currently interested in interventional radiology. Oh, yeah. So what do you think, especially, I think back then it was in its infancy, I guess. That is an awesome field, yes.

First, you've got to do a radiology residency, and those are not easy, but you're a very smart person so you can get through it. And then most of those will do an extra year to do interventional. That may be the most fun of all of them if you like doing stuff, because they just get to stick tubes and people and wiggle things around. And they have awesome toys, too, just like the ophthalmologists do. So that's a good one. Absolutely. I would highly recommend that. Nice.

Okay, man. Well, thank you so much, and I just want to congratulate you on the 300th episode. Hey, thank you, my friend. And Shufak Sadiki. That sounds horrible in English. Shokhan, Shokharan. Okay. Shokuran.

Okay. Baraka al-Hu-Fik. Shokan. Mahas-salam. Okay, man. Shaka-Kan. Shaka-Kon. Shaka-Kon.

See you, man. Let me rock you. Shaka-Kong. All right, one more, and then we're going to do the Big Joe game, get some levity in here. Tacey, okay, Tacey's saying we need to move on. Area Code 717, you're on Weird Medicine. Congratulations, 300 shows. Hey, thanks, man.

Is that Fritz? Yeah, it almost, yes, it almost sounds like you just did like 100 shows, maybe. I know, it's crazy. I know, right, because we still suck, right? I get it. yeah I get it I do have a quick question for you

all right yeah what you got man yeah so I quick nicotine I only drank alcohol in moderation

and now I want to get off my fat ass and I'm starting to work out my question is since I'm 40 plus should I what could I take to

kind of buffer my joints because I feel like they're kind of creaking. And the second part of that is, is there anything homeopathic that I can take to boost my metabolism? Okay. Not a big fan of homeopathy, because that's basically what they do in homeopathy is they do serial dilutions of things, like they'll find a drug that causes fever, and then they'll put it in water, and they'll dilute it out 64 times, which doesn't sound like that much, but when you're dividing something by half 64 times, there's no molecules left. And so it's just basically water. And then they'll give it to you to prevent fever. It's some kind of like, prevents like thing where they imprint on the water. And I don't buy that one. And I think the data bears me out on that.

But there are some things. Dr. Scott can talk to you a little bit about some things that might help support joint health. The main thing I'm going to just tell you right now, if you're going to start exercising at 40 is make sure you're stretching appropriately. Yoga is never a bad thing, but stretching people will say, well, I don't really need to stretch. Yes, you fucking do, because I tore my whole gastronemia's muscle, which is a big muscle in your calf because I didn't stretch appropriately before I started running. So, Scott, why don't you take this one? No, I agree 100%.

I think spend as much time stretching as you do, do everything else. Because if you don't have good long muscles, you can't have joints that. move freely, number one, number two, if you can find a food that cause the inflammation, for me, it's shrimp. For me, it was chicken. Anything that cause, yeah, anything that, and it can be anything. It can be, yeah, it can be anything. Find out if anything is affecting your joints before you start trying to add a bunch of stuff in, take this shit out first. But as far as supplements for joints, I think we've seen a little bit of good research on glucosamine, you know, some, by itself. Yeah, by itself, not, not with a,

Conroyton. Conroyton in it. The hyaluronic acid, you know, some of the joint guys like that, you can take it orally or have it injected. I can't imagine hyaluronic acid taking it orally would work very well. It's a great treatment for people who have truly creaky joints, but they inject it straight in. Yeah, I agree. And I think so.

I think if you've got a healthy diet and healthy joint, just got to go slow. You're going to have aches and pains at 40 years old. Just don't overdo it. Start low and go slow. I agree with Scott. And don't go to a gym where you've got somebody pushing you to push it and work harder and work through it, you know, get at your own pace and don't get hard. You know, as far as metabolism and stuff, I'm not a huge homeopathic fan either for those things.

Of course, you know, in Chinese medicine, we use a lot of, a lot of the herbal roots, the ginsings and the gingers and the astragaluses and things like that. But you do them in therapeutic doses. You don't do them in homeopathic doses. No, these are, these are, well, I think, you know, we all just took our doses of a fatigue reprieve about 30 minutes ago. Yeah, there you go. We're all in pretty good days now. Lady diagnosis was opening up during the opening. Let's move magic mic up.

We're going to get Big Joe and Liam in here. So congratulations there, Fritz. Thanks for calling in. Good luck. Yep. Good luck, Fritz. Low and slow. Bye-bye.

Lots of stretching. Thanks a little buddy. Ian Yoga. His real name is Chris. He's son of Freds, but we call him Freds. All right. Very good. Well, let's get Big Joe and Liam in here.

We're going to do the Big Joe. It's the Game Show 200 podcasts in the making by audience demand. Let's play Are You Smarter Than Big Joe? And the answer may surprise you. Our contestant today is Big Joe's grandson, Liam. Leo. Hello, Liam. The way this will work, I'll ask a question.

You'll both write down the answer, so they need paper and pens. And then we'll reveal the answers. Liam will go first because you're playing against your grandmother. If you have more points at the end of the round, you're smarter than Big Joe. Then we'll talk about what your prize is, okay? I don't know what your prize is. They need blank sheets of paper. Liam, you need a blank?

You're a genius. Then we got it, yeah. Okay, and Diane, if you can swing your mic over, and then you're going to keep... Here, she can have mine. Oh, yeah, give her, give her yours. Mine, mine, mine, mine. Mine can turn if you'll put this down. That's okay.

She's got to be able to get... Is that as far as it'll go? The stirring is... There you go. Beautiful. Okay, now you've got to talk into that thing, Joe. I really want to be here. There you go.

I know, I know. All right, very good. Especially against my grandson. Let's meet our contestants. Liam, get off the fucking phone, bra. I mean, get off the phone, bra. All right, do you have a pen, Liam? Yeah, I did.

Okay, let me get your mic on. Okay. Can you hear? Yeah, I can hear. Okay, very good. so Liam you are 14 is that correct yeah and you are in what grade in school and tell us about your teachers I don't I don't want to talk about my teachers you don't you think they might be listening no but just in case they are just in case they are

okay fair enough fair enough all right and they're all great aren't they handy big Joe people literally have been clamoring for this for your return to the airways. So what's been going on with you? Shingles. Shingles. Flew and then the shingles. So you had the flu and then the shingles.

Tell us about that. Well, it was actually hell. Well, I started hurting real bad, so I went and had a steroid shot, and it didn't help. So I couldn't get a hold of my family practice doctor, so I went to my rheumatologist. Yeah. And when she pulled up my shirt to give me another steroid, I had the shingles. Oh, my goodness. So, yeah, shingles.

And Steve wanted me to come to see you, Scott, if you had stuck those needles in me and with the shingles, I believe I would have knocked you for a while. Oh, so I'm a dumb ass, okay. You'd be surprised. No, it would have to. How would it help? Yeah, that would it help. Absolutely.

It's every day. So, yeah, so let's talk about shingles for a second. it's the varicella virus or a.k.a. the chickenpox virus. And it lives in your body. That's been in your body ever since you were a kid and had chicken pox. And now it's come out for one last hurrah. You hope it's one last hurrah. One thing people don't know about Big Joe is she's on a biological called Humera for rheumatoid arthritis. And that decreases her immune system to an extent that she may be more susceptible to infections like this. Matter of fact, we found out yesterday, that's one of the side effects of the new drug trial I'm on.

And they put you on. It doesn't have a name yet. Valtrex. No, I mean, they put you on it. Oh, for the shingling. So, you know, everybody at the pharmacy was like, well, Joanne's got herpes because that is also used for herpes. Well, I don't care as long as it gets. All right.

Hey, we got a couple of phone calls for you before we go, before we go on that have come in over time wanting to ask you questions. Okay, you ready to take a couple questions? Yeah. All right, here we go. I don't mind doing this. Oops, I know. I've got a question for Big Joe. Hey, Big Joe, how come you had them big old tities

cut off? Thank you. Because it felt like I was carrying a cinder block around me. Yeah. Really? You feel better? I hate them. It takes an idiot to want something that big on them. Well, okay. There are a lot of idiots out there. There are a lot of people who would have traded with you.

Well, a lot of them paid for them for you. Isn't that interesting that some people will pay for boobs that big and other people pay for to get rid of them? And I don't know how I got them because I was the only one in my whole family that ever had them. Is that right? You have sisters? No, I don't have sisters.

You had two brothers. I hope they didn't have them. They had some big old boobs. All right. There's a big man. Here's another question for Big Joe. Hello, Big Joe. I was just a wonder.

if you put your maters out yet this year? Well, with our maters, we eat what we can and what we can't eat. We can. All right. Well, thank you, bye. So have you put your tomatoes out yet this year? No, it's too early. There you go.

Exactly. Right. Very good. All right. Let's get to the game. Are you guys ready for the game? Oh, now, Liam. So the way this is going to go.

Don't make me look like an idiot. So the way this will go is I'll ask the question you both will write the answered down. Can I loop at yours? No, you can't, no cheating. No cheating. I'm watching. Oh, you are?

And Lady Diagnosis is going to keep, so for one point, are you guys ready? You're going to write this down. Don't cheat off each other. Did you stretch? No, just write on a plain piece of paper. Oh, oh, I drew all. You want to show you held right, honey. Don't look at each other, and then cover up your answer when you're done.

No cheating. Okay, number one, what is the name of the cheese generally used? in making lasagna. What is the name of the cheese generally used in making lasagna? Well, I used more than one. Don't answer. Generally used.

The popular cheese in lasagna. And then cover up your answer. Liam, cover it up. Dude. Just turn the phone off. Oh, my God. Okay, you ready? You guys ready?

Yeah. Okay. Oops, I'm still figuring out the music. Okay, Liam, what was your answer? I got Roclette. Rocklet? Okay, we'll give you... Joanne, what did you get?

I've got cottage cheese. I used a lot of cottage cheese, but it's not... That works. We'll take cottage cheese. Let me see. Do I have... I put four different kinds of cheeses in it, so it's... Okay, I was looking for ricotta.

That's sort of bigger cheese. Oh, my goodness. So we flat both. We both let. Okay, so that's one point for Joanne, one for Liam. We would have also taken retardo cheese. Okay, number two, second question. For one point, what is eight times eight? Ooh.

We'll give him a little time on this one. Well, now I know we'll beat me on that. Are you ready? Are you guys ready? I had to ask her something. Okay, Liam, what did you get? Joanne, do you have an answer? I got 48, so I knew he was going to win that.

I thought you'd map it alone. He asked me the questions like that all the time. Did Liam get it right? Yeah, Leeham got it right. Okay, so one point for Liam. Two points for Liam. He got one the first time. No, he said Rock, La.

Oh. All right. Next one. What? Okay. Now, remember, write your answers down and then cover him up. Oh. Well, I didn't look at his.

Don't be cheating. What is the name? Okay, you ready? What is the name of the coffee drink sold at McDonald's? The name of the coffee drink sold at McDonald's. I don't know how to spill it. That's okay, as long as you can say. Okay.

up your answers. You're ready? Liam, what did you get? Frape. Is that right? Oh, that is great. Bueno. Joanne, what did you get?

Well, I didn't know how to spell it, but that's what I put down to, flape. Flape. See? I don't know how to say it. That's fine. Don't know how to spell it or say it. That would be one for Liam and negative one for Joanne on that one. Well.

That's all right. How did you spell that, Joanne? Now, are you getting in on this, too? I was just curious. My kid's time to go home. Lady diagnosis is mean. She's very mean. All right.

Next question. How do you spit me? That was close. What is the square root of 25? The square root of 25. And you have to write them down, Joanne. because you could just say, yeah, that's right answer.

That's what I said. It's got to be written down. I'm watching her. I'm going to show your work. The square root of 25. Well, that's just a kiss. Okay, very good. You ready?

Quit cheating. Liam, what is the square root of 25? Is what? Oh. Slico. All right, Joanne. No, I'm not going to answer. Can I tell you what?

No. What's the square root of 25, Joanne? What'd you put? Okay. okay so hey you're cheating so lady diagnosis what where are we with the score right now no it's not three to one three to one three to one Liam is ahead Liam is ahead you guarantee you just yeah oh no you just okay whatever okay the next one is a 25 point bonus question oh bonus 25 point bonus question you ready what is the best

Fertilizer for tomatoes That's a piece of the Come on Yes you do Don't help him You write your answer Oh Right the answer

The best fertilizer for tomatoes Don't like Cover your answer to my tent Don't cover your answer John he's going to cheat Oh I don't know You got Liam

All right Liam what was your answer I got poop Poop? Okay. Joanne, what was your answer? I got cash shit. They answered the same thing. Well, it's calvineering. All right.

Okay, so that's 25 points each. All right, fair enough. All right. Okay, next question. Is this for 100 points? No. We'll get to the 100 point question in a minute. Oh, what are we doing over there? All right.

Let's keep it down. Liam and Big Joe. What is the name of the movie starring Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones, who play agents who deal with extraterrestrial threats to the Earth? The Name of the Movie, starring Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones, who play agents who deal with extraterrestrial threats to the Earth. Don't cheat.

Oh, I knew it. It just went, bleak. It went bloop, Dr. Sien. All right, we got it. Big Joe, are you ready? No. No? Because I knew it, and it just went bloop.

Let's write something down. You kind of know what it is. You ready? I bet you know it, don't you think. Liam? It's men and black. Oh. Well, I left off the man.

I got Black Man 3. Art. Oh, my God. Can she please have a point for that? That was what I was hoping for. Well, it was close. I think that's a winner. Black man, too.

That's perfect. Exactly what I was hoping for. That's why they like. Okay. I get it now. Oh, you do? Next question. What is the test called where in a long fiber optic scope is inserted into the rectum to screen for colon cancer?

I don't know I'll spell it. That's okay. Just write it down so phonetically. All right, we got it? Liam, what do you got? Very good. What did you get, John? What is it?

Now, colossum. Colopist. Okay, what is it? It's what Liam said. Okay. All right. So that's one for Liam, one for not. Not one for Big Joe.

No. She knew it. She knew it. I just recently had one. That's a point of east. What I was looking for was up you scope. Oh. On Big Joe's, the shit Big Joe says in my file,

Joanne at one point called that an upyoscope. All right. Well. We only got three more questions. What is the name of the game often played at the beach? where contestants I didn't hear that. Okay, what is the name of the game

often played at the beach where contestants try to roll balls closest to a smaller white ball. Oh, I don't know the name of that. And I was the one who bought it. Well, write down something. It starts with a bee. Got it?

You ready? Well, I got something similar to it. I don't know the name of it. I've got the game at the house. Liam, what's it called? I got bocce ball. Bocci ball is correct. We'll take that.

I got blooby. Wait, wait, what did you get? I thought it was going to be blooby ball, but. Now, this is why you, say, I told you would make a foo out of me, and you're doing it. No, I'm not. No, I'm not, because here's the next question. Are you ready? God.

We've got two more questions. You're doing good, Joe. Yeah, all right. Boy, you better be glad I love him. I love blueby ball. I think we ought to come up with a game called Bluebee Ball. Or, yeah. Call it Blue Ball for short.

Yeah. It is a fun game if you've never played it. I've never played. They cheat. They do cheat. Yeah, they cheat. Yeah, I can see. She's a cheater.

I was looking for bunghole game. Because Joanne was at the beach and she was yelling, hey, boys, do y'all want to play that bunghole game? But I'll take Bluby ball at any day. Bungho? I don't know. I don't know. That's a winner.

Yeah, that is a winner. All right. Okay, you ready? No. We have two more questions. Joanne and Leanne What does the texting

abbreviation L-O-L-M-A Oh What does L-O-L mean? I think Don't cheat, don't cheat, don't watch it I'm not looking at him I was looking at that light over

All right, okay All right, you ready? Joanne, you got it? Oh, I got it wrong I know what it is Right it down, right down I'll give you time Joe, you got it?

Yeah, I got it now. Liam, what does L-O-L means? Laugh out loud. Laugh out loud, that is correct. Yeah, I've got that too, because he always makes fun of me about it. Because what did you make me?

I was looking. What did you think before, Joanne? Oh, no. Love. That's why I'm having a... It took me forever to learn how to text. All right, yes, because, Joanne, I would have accepted love and love

and laugh, which is what Joanne once said, the L-O-L. The Joanne's has lots of love. Lots of love. All right, here we go. 25-point bonus score. Where are we of the score right now? Zero. Joe's four.

Liam's got all of paint me. Eight for Liam. But they both got the 25 points. Okay, so 25 plus three and 25 plus seven, whatever that is. So can you do the math on that? I'm on it. We're going to need it here in a minute. Yeah, because if he loses, I'm going to lick him from head to toe.

Ew. That's inappropriate. No, it's not. He's not 28 to 32. Okay, we're close. Now, Joanne. You got him, Joe, you got it. No licking.

There's no licking. Here's a 25-point bonus question. Oh, God. Name a brand of fabric softener. What? Name a brand of fabric softener. Come on, Liam. Joanne, you might want to cover your answer.

I'm not going to have a number. You got it? Yeah. Okay, Liam, what did you get? I got tied. Oh, no. Wrong. Joanne, what did you get?

I got down to yes because I know how to wash clothes. There you go. Tide is squat the up. I know that you clean clothes with. What did I tell you they's doing with Tide not to them? They were equal. Yeah. Okay, what's the score right now?

53. To 32. Liam is losing. Let's do... No. Let's do one more 25-pointer. Can you feel the lick? I mean, right now I can.

Now, I love my babies. I love him. You know what? Let's call the game right there. I say Joanne is the winner. Yeah, because he knows I'm not going to get the next question. So what was the next question? Okay, all right.

It's a challenge. It's a challenge. Now, I'll probably miss it, but I still get it. from Big Joe. He's not going to show me up done. I mean, dumb and what I am. Well, you're winning. You're won. You won. Okay. Well, just because, uh, Downey. 25 point bonus question. Ready? Yeah. What's the best agent to clean a CPAP machine with? Oh, now you tell me I can use you. Oh, oh, I think I made this one. Okay, what did you get, Liam?

I got the spilled water. No. Oh. Joanne, what's the correct answer? Well, no, I was told to use water and ivory soap. There you go. See? I would have also accepted vinegar.

Well, you fussed at me. No, what do you call so much? Well, no, you can clean it with it. You put it in your water. No, I don't. I empty my water out. I put it in my cup, and then I rinse it out. Okay, well, there you go, everybody.

That's how you clean a CPAP machine. Good advice from Big Joe. Sorry, you're a loser, Liam. Liam. Now, see what he's seen. I know. It's very clear. And you wanted to lick him, head to toe.

And he gets it so honestly, don't he? It's very clear, Liam. You are not smarter than Big Joe. No. And you know what, you know what, dude, the moral of the story, life, life ain't fair. Adults will always win. Now, go clean your room. There you go.

All right. That's been, are you smarter than Big Joe by audience demand. Now, let's life. Let's have a good life, Alias. Thank you, Big Joe. The winner, she's undefeated. in this game that'd be funny

if she lost her own show I know Oh well no It wouldn't be funny Alright get out of here Liam Thank you Joe Congratulations Joe

You want to show everybody Your shingles No Okay okay fair enough Good job Good job Joe It's perfect I wish I could have read her

answers to you oh he was doomed from oh really what did she do with them she crossed him out scratched them out so you can see it couldn't see them all right Mike you're gonna get back in here all right obviously we did zero prep for this but Mike Mike how you doing out there or El Crapo I mean bring El Crapo in for them He went to the finale. El Crapa went to the bathroom? So, Mike, you haven't said two words this whole show. Well, that first guest we had, that kind of damp and everything for me.

Did that mess it up for you? Jesus Christ, I swear, I can't believe. I know, that was sick. Can you hear the guitar? Yeah. Yeah. let's see here I'm gonna and then what we'll do Mike is we'll have you play us out at the end when I read the is everything huh play that oh yeah no I'm good thank you play a blues and G

play that on the music or blues of D do you do that or something soft while they do thank you do what how was the black chair oh what did you have it's not as good as the We'll just tone it down. Here, Tase. Just play a couple bars. Casey, you want me to come with you. I'll have another one of those. I'll do whatever.

I didn't know if I need. Oh, you're not going to hang with this when we play? I have to get three. Okay. I'll be back. Priorities. Anybody else in here? Beer.

All right, here we go. You ready? Do you. Want to do it? Let me get off this sound. You're going to stand or you're going to sit? Well, I usually placed. Oh no.

No, no. Okay. Yeah, that's fine. Totally fine. Let's hear you, Scott. You might need to bring that mic a little closer to you because when you sing, you're going to you're going to be slightly closer. because I'm trying to mix you just by spatial stuff.

Okay. How about there? That's good. I lit out from Reno. Ready? One, two, three, four. I'm going to go. 12 by 20 half

Didn't get to sleep last night To the morning came around I said I'd probably take my time Oh friend My friend my high You know Forty lot out Just like it's good night

I Ran into the devil Maybe longed 20 bills And I said, yeah, And I came home for him I said I'm gonna take my time A friend of my friend of mine I get home,

49, I just smack it, a son, a night I ran to the day that man that never beat me there dollar bill and he managed to near I said I'm running but I take my time

of a friend of my house I get on before the night I'll just look at night I've got two reasons why I cried playing slow me name The first one named She's my name She's my heart's the second oldest prison baby

Sheriff's on my trip And if it catches up with me, I'll spend on my head Got a wife and Chino, baby Who meant Sherry? First one says she's got my child It don't look quite green Said out front, but take the time of fruit There is set up by

Yeah, for delight Just to get some of the same to stay Do it. We're going to be able to I'm going to Got two reasons why the crowd Wait slowly back. First one's day, sweet and me, she's my heart to burn.

Second one is dressing, baby. Share some magic. And if it catches up with me, I'll spend my life in there. Got a wife and Cheeto, baby, and won't you share me. First one says she's got my child. She's got my child It don't look like me I said I'm a little friend of mine

I get home for you know I just might get some song Tonight Yeah I fucked up in the one came out of the solo Sorry All right, all right, you want to play us out, Magic Mike? Yeah, let's play something. I'll read, start that thing that we were doing.

You know, the, you want to do the blues and G. Thanks, always go to Dr. Scott, Magic Mike, G-Spot. Lady Diagnosis, my wife, Tacey, and El Crapo. Can't forget, Rob, Sprant, Bob Kelly, Greg Hughes, Anthony Humia, Cumia, Coomia. Ron Bennington and Fez Wotley, who steadfast support of this show, never goes unappreciated. Listen to our SiriusXM show on the Faction Talk channel, SiriusXM Channel 103, Saturdays at 8 p.m. Eastern, on demand, and other times at Don Wickland's pleasure. Many thanks go to our listeners whose voicemail and topic ideas make this job very easy.

Go to our website at Dr.steve.com for schedules and podcasts and other crap. Until next time, check your stupid nuts for loves, quit smoking, get off your asses and get some exercise. and we'll see you at one week for the next edition of Weird Medicine. There you go. There you go.