Weird Medicine: The Podcast - 307 - Keto (tsss like you got a lock on your foot or somethin)

Episode Date: April 11, 2018

Dr Steve and crew discuss the intestinal ramifications of a low carbohydrate diet, revisit the California coffee scare, discuss evidence based acupuncture recommendations, and more. Please visit STUFF.DOCTORSTEVE.COM simplyherbals.net Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You know what a Freudian slip is, right? It's when you mean one thing and say a mother. Sorry, I'm not sure. You're listening to Weird Medicine with Dr. Steve on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. medicine contains mature contents that may be offended to some listeners. I'll be wronged. What did they wrong in? You know, your old house is like another.

I've got diphtheria crushing my esophagus. I've got the bolivodes dripping from my nose. I've got the leprosy of the heart valve, exacerbating my impeccable. woes. I want to take my brain now, blast it with the wave, an ultrasonic, ecographic, and a pulsating shave, I want to magic pills for my ailments, the health equivalent

to citizen cane, and if I don't get it now in the tablet, I think I'm doomed, then I'll have to go insane. I want to requiem for my disease, so I'm paging, Dr. Steve. It's weird medicine, the first and still only uncensored medical show

in the history of broadcast radio. podcast. I'm Dr. Steve with my little pal, Dr. Scott, the traditional Chinese medical practitioner who keeps the alternative medicine wackos at bay. Hello, Dr. Scott. Hey, Dr. Steve. I have also called them alternative medicine assholes, but not all of them are assholes. Many of them are wackos, however. And she will do most anything for a glass of expensive wine, which Derek is getting ready to find out. It's Lady Derek Diagnosis. Hey, Dr. Steve. And we also have in the waiting room, our new friend, can I say your whole name or just, you want me, Derek Johns from White Pine, Tennessee.

Hello. And, yeah, why is your, why is your mic not doing? Try that again. Check. There you go. Yep, very good. And he just wanted to come watch us do this in San, and he's nervous. That's the hilarious thing.

Nervous to watch. I don't blame him. He was supposed to bring beer and food. I know. Where's our snacks? Yeah, actually. That needs to be a requirement, but yes, it does. Got a muffin in the truck.

Fikey. This is a show for people who'd never listen to a medical show on the radio or the internet. If you've got a question, you're embarrassed to take to a regular medical provider. If you can't find an answer anywhere else, skip us a call. 347-7-7-4-3-23. That's 347. Pooh-Head. You're listening to us live, the number 754-227-36-47.

That's 754. Bairnip. Or 754 double-duce penis, as P.A. John used to love to say. Follow us on Twitter at Weird Medicine, Lady Diagnosis, or D.R. Scott W.M. And visit our website at Weirdmedicine.com or Dr. Steve.com for podcast, medical news and stuff you can buy that. Oh, yeah. Or go to our merchandise store at CafePress.com slash Weird Medicine for a second. I thought I was on Sirius XM and can't mention that.

Most importantly, we're not your medical providers. Take everything you hear with a grain of salt. Don't act on anything you hear on this show without talking. talking it over with your doctor, nurse practitioner, physician assistant, pharmacist, chiropractor, acupunctures, yoga master, physical therapist or whatever. Somalier. Yes, you're Somalié. And can a beer Somalié truly be a sommelier?

I didn't know there was such a thing. Well, I see people say, well, I'm a beer sommelier, and I don't think that's the thing. I think there's like a word for that other than Somalié. Yeah, let's find out what it is. What is a beer? Alexa. Is there a beer Somalier? Sorry, I'm not sure.

We aren't either. Okay, they're chicharones or cicerone's. Yes, cisterone. Is it cicerone or chicherones? Because that would be Italian. I think the chichirones are those, that sounds like something you would eat in a Mexican restaurant for dessert. Dipped in sugar and cinnamon. And sent him, oh, she's always thinking.

Huh. Ray Daniels, a Chicago brewer, started the Ciceroon certification program five years ago. And he did, though, so for a very simple reason, bad beer. Oh. There are you. Well, we need to get P.A. John to get his people to be master Ciceroons. Mm-hmm. But they need to pronounce it, chicharones.

Yes. Sounds much more sexy. It does sound sexy. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Yep.

Okay, very good. So there you go. So when someone calls themselves a beer sommelier, they don't know what the fuck they're talking about. Exactly. Exactly. Thank you. Thank you very much. All right.

Okay, so last show, I talked about the hysteria regarding coffee, particularly vis-a-vis what's going on in California, where they have a law that says if a product is known to have a certain carcinogen. in it, and they have a list, then it has to be displayed. And somebody sued to get Starbucks to have to post these warnings because there are extremely small amounts of a known carcinogen called acrylene in it. But the crazy thing is, and I'm just sort of recapping what I did last week because you guys weren't here, acrylene is also found in French fries. And anytime you heat potatoes up, you'll get this stuff. But it's in doses that are so minuscually small that they're felt to be safe.

Just because something is a carcinogen at a higher doses doesn't mean that it is in lower doses, even with cumulative dosing. So I found an article that said, you know, the use of caffeine showed a decrease in all-cause mortality. Right? But I didn't have one for coffee. And I said, I would like to find one that just talks about coffee and mortality. So I found one. And here it is. Give yourself a bill.

I'm giving it to myself. This is from Public Health Nutrition, 2015. And it is called the Association of Coffee Drinking with All Cause Mortality, a systematic review and meta-analysis. So a systematic review is when you go through and find every freaking article you can find. And then the meta-analysis where you take all the data that can be compared and pool it together to get a more strong result, right? So you're taking a bunch of little studies and making it into one big study. And these are decent ways to get information. Of course, the best, Derek, is...

He's a sleep. Exactly. A double-blind placebo. I was a prospective double-blind placebo-controlled study. I just one. God, that makes me hot. You were enamored by his blathering or whatever. Right.

So, but these are pretty good. Systematic reviews with a meta-analysis is a valuable way to tease data or tease answers out of data. And this one was coffee. So they said 17 studies, including a million participants and 131 death events from all causes were included in this study. So this is a big-ass damn data set. And they found a U-shaped dose response relationship between coffee consumption and all-cause mortality. And so compared with non or occasional coffee drinkers, the relative risk for all-cause mortality were 0.89, I'll explain this in a second, for 1 to less than 3 cups, and 0.87 for 3 to less than 5 cups a day. And then back up to 0.9 for greater than five cups a day.

So an answer of one would be it's no different. There's no effect. So, you know, and at one point, anything greater than one would say that they had more deaths. So anything less than one would be less deaths. And this is all costs. This is cancer, heart attack, stroke, bus getting run over by a bus. getting shot by a jealousy. Drowning.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Doing a coffee, you know, doing champagne enemas and dying from alcohol poisoning, everything. And the people who drank coffee, particularly in moderate amounts, one to three, no, I'm sorry, three to five cups a day actually had the lowest all-cause mortality. So the point I'm making is if you have a cholesterol medicine and it lowers. bad cholesterol, but it doesn't decrease heart attack and stroke. What good is it? Because that's what we care about. We don't give a shit about these intermediate endpoints. We care about the true

endpoint, which is reducing heart attack and stroke. So if I had a cholesterol medicine that made someone's bad cholesterol five times higher than the normal, but I could prove that it decreased heart attack and stroke, then we would write it. And so many of these studies and, you know, the drug reps out there that sell cholesterol medications that have not proven heart attack, you know, outcomes benefit are cussing me right now because they'll say, well, it reduces LDL, so it must be good. And it may be a class effect for statin type drugs, but it's not a class effect for other drugs. And, yeah, and Dr. Scott's hitting his forehead. except that statins still are the only intervention in pill form other than beta blockers that have shown decrease in mortality and morbidity in people who are at risk.

The take-home message, though, for statins, of course, which Dr. Scott has once again derailed the conversation just by rolling his eyes at me is that you don't want to take those unless you're at high risk, you know, and you need them. But anyway, so we want to minimize people's exposure. to those, but if you need them, they can be very valuable. Now where the fuck was I before? I have no clue. Oh, so, so, you know, they'll say, oh, it's a class effect, and it may be for statins, but, you know, they're pushing these drugs based on this intermediate end point, which is decreasing LDL.

And it's the same thing with this acrolean business. Yeah, it's in there. Well, maybe in small doses, it's fucking good for you because these people who drink coffee have a decreased risk. of dying. Right. So I don't see the benefit of the warning label. It's just going to hurt, well, Starbucks big. But, you know, it's going to hurt the mom and pop stores that sell coffee.

If they've got to put these mornings up, it doesn't make medical sense to me. But they're following the law. And so the problem is probably with the law that if there's any trace amounts of a carcinogen, you have to post it, that's probably, the problem. You found what? It needs to be clinically relevant. What were you going to say, Scott? I was just going to add to that.

I have seen research where we're drinking at least three cups of coffee a day lowers a risk of liver cancer up to 40%. That's interesting. Yeah. So this is all cause. That would include liver cancer. Specifically, yeah. There are some other studies that show an increased risk with hot liquids of esophageal trouble,

including cancer. That may just be from the. trauma from the heat, and it's all hot. Which would be similar to smoking, you know? Just inhaling the hot smoke is... Yeah, I'm wondering if the heat from smoking is carcinogenic in and of itself. That'd be an interesting question. I know the tar certainly is.

But you would think that heat over and over and over would eventually be carcinogenic. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. When I used to smoke, I don't remember getting a lot of heat. In my lungs, boy, you get that nice full feeling of smoke, though, when your lungs, oh, God. You get some heat on your little penis when you drop the ashes. Oh, that is true. That is true. And I caught the pejorative adjective that you used as well.

But now, if you're flicking between your legs and you burn your dick, you know. Why are you smoking naked? He was sitting on the pot taking a dump and smoke. Yeah, every day. I would sit and I would smoke two on the pot every morning before I took my shower. And I would flick between my legs and I would burn the top of my. Have you not ever heard this show? I must have told that story a thousand times.

Anytime we talk about smoking. She just tunes me out. Yeah, Derek knows it. She's known us long enough to tune us both out. I'm pretty sure. But anyway, yeah. So I might get dick cancer from the if he. Heat is carcinogenic, but probably not lung cancer from that.

Dick is smoking hot. All right. There you go. That's hilarious. I heard that lady diagnosis. All right. We've got some phone calls to take. Number one thing.

Don't take advice from some asshole on the radio. All right. We will not do that. Ronnie B. Thank you, sir. Area code 978, you're on Weird Medicine. Hi, Dr. Steve. Dr. Scott.

Hey, man. How's a good one. Brian from New Hampshire. I, I'm nervous. Phaset joint arthritis. And a lot of people told me to try acupuncture, but I believe as much in that as I do tarot card readings. Well, okay. No, that's a great question.

And your audio is terrible. You're breaking up pretty bad. What kind of arthritis do you have? Facet joint arthritis. Oh, okay. Okay, so he has facet joint arthritis, Dr. Scott, so he's going to have midline back pain. And tell us some of the other things that you've tried, and then we'll talk about the effect of acupuncture on that. Well, it took forever for the pain clinic to give me enough opiates to get me to continue working.

Yep. But I get an RFL nerve kill procedure every six months, but it only lasts about three and a half, four months. Okay, but it does help. And I get trick-in-point injections also that help out. Yeah. Okay. Well, the one thing that what Dr. Scott does is there's really no downside to it other than your pocketbook if it doesn't work. Exactly.

And most DOMs, which is what Dr. Scott is, you know, somebody that has D-O-Ms, after the name, they did a four-year medical school for traditional Chinese medicine. A lot of them are so used to insurance companies not accepting them as a provider so they won't pay for it. They don't have to deal with insurance clerks or any of that stuff. It's mostly cash-only or cash or credit card, so they actually cost a lot less. Do you mind saying what your initial visit costs you? Usually runs about $100. Yeah.

See, that's one-third. of what it would be in a regular, you know, consultative physician practice. So that's one thing. So it usually doesn't cost that much. Now, why don't you talk? I've been doing all the talking about you. You're the expert on acupuncture. What can you do for him?

Well, and he's got facet arthritis. So the RFL is the radio frequency, ablation, where they cauterize the little nerves between the facets. And those can be really beneficial, and they typically do last pretty well. the problem is sometimes those nerves grow back and they'll actually double. They'll grow back two instead of one. So then you can get twice the pain, strangely. You know, the thing I love about trigger points, just covering everybody's basis here because I love the anesthesia too.

I mean, those guys do trigger points. I love those, the needles. I do them in my office. Typically, yeah, what they've encouraged is not to use steroids in the trigger points because you actually get the same effect as you do using an acupuncture needle if you don't put any drugs in there. It's interesting. And that's because you don't need the steroids if you'll hit the motor point in a muscle or if you'll get down that facet.

And what I do is actually with a facet joint arthritis, I'll start a needle right on the midline of the spine and just go laterally, which is to the side a little bit, and go right down to that facet joint with an acupuncture needle. Dang. Yeah. So what does that do? You don't put medicine in it? You just hit it. Yeah, you just go right to that facet and you work around that facet joint. You can even tap it.

But what that does increase is the blood flow. It creates a histimic response there. So, you know, in acupuncture, there's only the 4,000 or 5,000 years old. So, you know, there's got to be a little bit of benefit, a little bit of that logic doesn't fly. Oh, shit. I even think it's been around for that many years. My astrology is 4,000 years old, too, and it's bullshit. You have data to back up what you have.

Astrology. Somebody didn't read their horoscope this morning, I guess. But, you know what? Listen, and I tell the thing in the newspaper that could be anybody. I do a double-blind placebo-controlled study on that, and you guys will not be able to say, oh, yeah, that's me. Impossible. But anyway. But anyway, but, you know, the thing is with acupuncture, it's just like anything else.

For some people, it's wonderful and some people it's not. For some people, radio frequency works, and it does it for others, and epidurals work for some and for others. And it's really the amount of efforts you put into it. But I will tell you this, the more opiates. and narcotics people take, the harder it is to treat their pain because their pain threshold change. So it's more difficult to get those. You can't even numb them if they're...

It's hard to numb them. On opiates, can you? It's hard to break through. Yeah, there's some, here's just one from a journal called Medicine evaluation of the effectiveness of acupuncture and the treatment of knee osteoarthritis. It's not, this is an extremely small case study, but they found acupuncture to be effective as an all

alternative or complementary treatment of knee osteoarthritis with high levels of improvement within a modest intervention period. Just from my own experience, and this is anecdotal evidence, I sent one of my coworkers to Dr. Scott because she was bent over, been to four different doctors. He gave her one treatment, and she was standing up straight with no pain after that. So does that last, or do you have to maintain? With her, it did. It's the craziest thing. So, you know, the more acute it is, the better, the easier it is to treat you. The more chronic it is, the more difficult.

I'm looking for some other articles that have a little bit, I've seen them. I'm just trying to do this on the fly, and it's a little bit harder to do. I was hoping Dr. Scott had talked a little longer. I can talk. Dr. Scott, I need you to poke needles in every inch of my body. We can do it. Treating the pain. Okay, here we go.

Here we go. Remember, we were just talking about a meta-analysis. Here's a large study, individual patient data meta-analysis. This was in the journal, pain. This is not a bullshit, you know, some complimentary medicine journal. And I'm not saying they're all bullshit. But, you know, there should not be an inherent bias in this. This is a regular pain journal.

And they said despite wide use, acupuncture remains controversial. And, you know, they did a meta-analysis on a bunch of different studies, and they said we found clear evidence that the effects of acupuncture persist over time with only a small decrease in treatment effect at one year. We found no obvious association between trial outcome and characteristics of acupuncture treatment, but blah, blah, blah, okay, I'll just read you their conclusion. Acupuncture is effective for the treatment of chronic musculoskeletal, headache, and osteoarthritis pain. Treatment effects of acupuncture persist over time and cannot be explained solely in terms of placebo effects. Referral for a course of acupuncture treatment is a reasonable option for a patient with chronic pain. This is from a journal that pain management specialists write in, you know, and read. So, you know, what's...

the hell it's cheaper and it works most of the time and it never makes it worse what why not try right and it would only make it worse if you get in with somebody that took what they're doing yeah took a weekend course right doesn't know what they're doing and then offers you know the package where you get acupuncture and a coffee enema exactly and a prostate massage that's you know for $1,250 well that isn't a bad deal that is pretty good deal now we're Hell, Scott. I may have just come up with something. So anyway.

But I think it'd be worth trying. And, you know, I started off as a skeptic. And the more data I see, the less skeptical I've become to the point where, you know, I invited Dr. Scott to be in my office in our old office in rural Tennessee. And it was a very successful partnership. So anyway, that's why he's sitting here today. What are we going to make sure that they have? You would want to say D-O-M after their name.

If he'll go to the, it's the N-C-C-A-O-M.org, that's just the N-C-C-A-O-M-R-G. That's just the National Clearing House, and you can find people who are board-certified in Oriental Medicine. Yeah. Yeah. And that's the best way to go. If you just go to someone who's a weekend lawyer that took a, you know, weekend course, I think the perfect combination would be. MD slash or DO slash DOM. That would be awesome.

Do you have any of those? Did you have any people that had MDs going through your school? Oh, God, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, MDs and DOs. Yep. But, you know, I don't know where this guy lives, but we can, if he'll send us a email us, we'll hook you up.

We'll send him a link for sure. It's become that fucking, fucking acupuncture show. All right. All right, man. Hey, I hope you feel better. Let us know. Okay. All right.

All right. Thanks a lot. We hadn't had that conversation in a while. I think it's important. All right. Let's see here. Area Code 765, you're on Weird Medicine. Hey, Dr. Steve. Hey, man.

I sent you a tweet a little while ago. I have a friend that just getting over the flu, it was bad for like a week. He went to the doctor and actually got the swab test and had the flu and said his doctor told him the flu shot wouldn't have done anything. thing for him anyway. And I'm just wondering, do doctors just say that so you don't feel bad about how I didn't get the flu shot? Well, this year, the flu shot wasn't that great. I think it had 10% effectiveness, something like that. Scott could maybe look that up. So in this case, that was actually kind of true, although, and one year I got influenza and I'd had the flu shot and the flu miss, and I still got it anyway, but I didn't die and I didn't end up in the hospital on the ventilator like

a lot of other people did that year. So, yeah, you know, there should not be a sort of general thing where doctors are lying to people just to make them feel better. You know, we're not supposed to do that. So I think in that case, they were just being sort of, you know, ironic or humorous about it. But in general, we're supposed to tell the truth, no matter how difficult the truth is, because people can't make a decision without being fully informed. And I'll have people come out to me and say, oh, don't come in, don't tell Mama she's got cancer because she can't handle it.

You know, we don't want you to tell her that. Now, if Mama's got her right in mind, she has every right to know. But people have the right to defer decision-making to other people in the family so in the case like that i'll go in and say well now honey who what kind of person are you the person that wants to know everything or you the person that is okay if your family knows stuff and you don't know and they help you make decisions and if she says i want to know everything i am duty bound to tell her everything so do you have other examples of where doctors have uh pulled this shit or is just this just the one that kind of pushed you over the edge well that's that's the recent one. I had a friend of mine's wife had colon cancer and two pack a day, two pack a day

smoker. Oh, smoking had nothing to do with your colon cancer. Yeah. And we looked it up and it's, it's a pretty good risk factor for it. Yeah, smoking's a good risk factor for just about everything, bladder cancer and they even may be pancreatic cancer. But there are a lot of oncologists that feel the association between smoking and colon cancer is pretty tenuous. So, you know, If I do a death certificate and someone doesn't have emphysema and they don't have lung cancer and they have diet of colon cancer, often I will put that, you know, smoking wasn't associated with that because as far as I know, not a direct association, I'm open to having my mind changed on that. So now I'm shit, now I'm going to have to look it up. Let's just look it up and see. More study needed.

Yes, more study. Yes, exactly right. let's go smoking and colon cancer and we'll see where we're at with that because a lot of people who smoke are unhealthy and they don't eat right and that's those are also risk factors for for colon cancer so you've got to be able to tease out all of that from the data let's see here healthy living and cancer no that's not going to be it I'm not okay Okay, lung cancer patients with synchronous colon cancer. Now, that's a whole other story. Those are people that have colon cancer and lung cancer at the same time. Yeah, I'm not finding anything really outstanding here. I'll look that up some more to make sure I'm not telling people the wrong thing.

But what did you find when you looked it up, what did you find? I think they said it was a 12% increase in colon cancer rate. Okay, well, that may be. This says nicotine increases colon cancer cell migration. Now, we know that, that when people smoke and they get cancer, that a lot of times they'll say, well, I already have cancer. Why should I quit smoking? Well, the tar apparently causes the cancer, but nicotine will promote its growth.

Nicotine binds with an enzyme called protein kinasee that is a known tumor growth enhancer. So there still is reason to quit, even if you have. have already gotten cancer. Let's see here. So this one, colon cancer, cell migration, invasion through epithelia and mizankable transition. So what they're concerned about in that case is that smoking may increase metastatic colon cancer. In other words, allowing the cells to get away from the tumor and migrate to somewhere else. So I'll keep looking at that.

That's interesting, but I'm not seeing just, you know, something just bound, you know, And I know it sounds like I'm just defending doctors because both instances you gave, I had a good excuse. And that's not my usual M.O. Because I think a lot of my colleagues are pretty piss poor at, you know, bedside manner and explaining things and those kinds of things. But these are two examples I could say, well, I can see why they said it, you know. May not be technically 100% correct. but yeah on another quick note i i talked to you or tweeted back and forth with you a month or so ago i'm on the keto diet and i have the screaming shits it's terrible yeah i don't go for two or

three days and then it just it's terrible yeah and it's been it's been three months now and it's not standardized and i eat a lot of cauliflower and and salads and spinach and stuff but it doesn't seem to do any good. Boy, when it hits, you better be ready to go. Yeah, we've had other people call about that. Most people will get constipated on the keto diet, but there are a few people that can't digest certain sugars in things like cauliflower and broccoli and green leafy vegetables. And for them, we recommend taking this stuff called Beino. It's over the counter, B-E-A-N-O, and it allows you to digest certain sugars that you otherwise couldn't digest. And when you have undigestable sugars,

in your gut, a couple of things happen. There may be bacteria that can digest them, and then they'll make gas. So, I mean, the byproduct from bacterial fermentation is all kinds of different noxious gases, including hydrogen sulfide, which is what makes your flatus, you know, it's so fragrant. And then the other thing that will happen is you've got these little molecules running around in your colon. What are they going to do? They're going to draw water in through osmosis. and so now you're going to have diarrhea.

So try getting some beano and taking it before you eat and see if that fixes that because, yeah, go ahead, Scott. Quick question, no. Do you still have a gobladder? Yes. Okay, good. Well, that's the only other thing else. Well, I mean, because you know what?

If he doesn't have a gallbladder, people get those dumping syndromes. Yep. Well, GVAC had that. Yep, yep. And that may or may not be a part of it. It was just a simple question. And really, it's post-coly cystectomy syndrome. So those people have trouble.

Different than dumping syndrome. A little bit different than dumping syndrome. But the end result is the same. You just get all of a sudden massive sheds. Shit like a goose. Yeah, they're nice. You know, the other thing, Dr. Steve, is I wonder if he, if, in addition to the Bino, if that pepipogess or that ibup might help keep the inflammation out of his bowel.

Yeah, maybe. Possibly, you know. The other thing is you could be getting constipated. And then when that plug gets of hard turd gets let loose, you've got all this liquid fecal matter behind it, in which case the thing that would help that the most would be, oh, citrus. Citrus, citrus, all right. Anyway, that actually, I will try both. That actually might help as well.

So let us know. Call us back, let us know. And any change in bowel habits that goes on. for more than a week or two, if it doesn't resolve, completely needs to be evaluated. And it's, how old are you? 57. Okay. Have you ever had a colonoscopy?

Yes, I have. Okay. I was fine. Okay. How long ago was it? Three years ago, four years ago? Yeah, you should be okay. I'd still report it to your primary care so that they know.

Okay, I'm going in here pretty soon. Okay. Sounds good. All right, buddy. All right, thanks All right, let us know All right, I will Okay

Let's see here And we had one that hung up That was from area code 865 Let's just call them back See if they'll answer You want to? Yeah Why'd you hang up on me?

Asshole Oh, no, don't say that now That's just choking Hey, why'd you hang up? Well, yes I had an incoming call. We're just messing with you. Sorry.

No, I'm just messing with you. It's Dr. Steve. You still want to be on the air? Sure, that's fine. I'm sitting here playing with the vibroflex, so why not? All right, what you got? False positive, test results and stuff. How come the doctor just can't tell you if it's very simple or not as far as what your test are?

You know, you tested positive. Yay! Well, that's wrong. Right. And then they tell you, well, we made a mistake. You were not positive. Can you give us the context? First off, let me just say this.

Doctors need to quit saying fucking positive and negative. Because patients think of positive and negative in exactly the opposite way that we do. If you have a negative balance on your checking statement, that's bad. If you have a negative attitude, that's bad. If your HIV test is negative, that's good. So we should say normal and abnormal. That's first. Stop saying positive and negative.

All the medical students that are listening out there, stop it. Normal and abnormal. Okay, so what's the context to your question? What kind of thing did they tell you? And then what was the consequence of it? It was my mother-in-law. She was all excited because they called her, told her that she tested. Oh, no, we just lost him.

Are you there? Oh, for God's sake. Let me call him back. I want to hear this. There, where'd you go? Okay. Do da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. No, no, no, no.

You disappeared. Okay, so your mother-in-law, they called up and told her what? That's where you cut out. Okay. She tested positive for the flu. So she thought, yay, positive means good. I don't have it. Oh, gotcha.

And, you know, no. that means that you do have it. Right. Yeah, just exactly what I was talking about. Sorry, I stole your thunder. I thought you were going to say something other than that. And so I wanted to get the positive and negative soap box out of the way before we hit. And that's what it was about.

So, yeah, no, it's bullshit. Say normal or abnormal. Or yes, you have the flu. You have the flu. That's too easy. Right. Again, an intermediate, an intermediate endpoint, your test was positive. That's not what we're interested in.

Do I have the flu or not? Yeah, so she was all excited. And then they called a wife, tell the wife. They set her up and knocked her down. So they didn't elaborate. They just said you were positive for the flu, and then they hung up. And then she went and called your wife and said, hey, I don't have it because they said my test was positive. Yeah, they called what their voicemail.

Oh, my, oh, my God. Okay, now I'm getting mad. Yep. Let her rip. Yeah, you don't give bad news. There's a whole protocol for breaking bad news, even if it's as minor, which sometimes is not minor, as telling somebody they've got influenza, but to just say your flu test was positive and hang up without any, I mean, the first rule of breaking bad news is you always

say what you're going to do about it. You don't just say, well, you got cancer. Oh, by the way, oh, our time is up. Yeah. You know, you have cancer, and here's what we're going to do about it. Click. Right. So, yeah, I'm doubly.

Now I'm getting angry. We're going to have to stop the show. We have to go do a lap. Anyway, I'm sorry that happened to her. Have a cup of coffee. That way makes your liver. I want to find one that says craft beer makes you live long. Yes.

You know, I've been trying, I've been on keto for some time now, and I'm not losing weight, and it's because I'm still drinking beer because it's not keto. So I'm going to have to stop drinking for a while. Oh, my God. I know. Or just be happy with who you are. There's proof that I'm a bit fatso. There's proof that moderate consumption of alcohol makes you live longer.

Maybe I can't drink wine, but I can't just drink a little bit of wine. It tastes so good. It just goes down so easy. Oh, God. I can't. If I drink wine, I'm going to wait a bit one in the morning. Morning, I don't know why that is. Yeah, with a whole.

I drink wine. I'm going to wake up between one or ten. I'm going to be awake. Yeah. Yeah, me too. Why is that? I don't know. I mean, it happens to me, too. Maybe I could do vodka in that, in one of those drinks, like ice or something.

Yeah, or even club soda with a little lime juice in it or something. By the way, I don't want this to turn into a cooking show, but we went to the Keys recently, and we found this place called Lorelei Restaurant in Isla Marada, and they had the best key lime pie that my kids, my kids ate key lime pie every single place they went. And that was their favorite. And so I emailed the guy, because I looked everywhere trying to find a recipe that looked even remotely like it. There's so many. And he had it already pre-printed up, so I don't think he would mind if I gave it out on the air. And it's so unbelievably simple. The first, thing was this stuff was white it looked like cheesecake but it wasn't you know there was no

tan you could tell there wasn't any cream cheese in it and uh i tried making it with whipped cream and you know whipping cream up and it but if you froze it it it came out okay but if you let it sit for any time at all it just would really turn back into cream again right so i researched some stuff called um stabilized whipped cream which you can use to make frosting like a whipped cream frosting and it's where you take gelatin and you take a packet of gelatin put it in a few tablespoons of water you let it sit and then you heat it up till the gelatin dissolves and then as you're as you're whipping your cream you dump in there's some science behind so you dump in the gelatin and when it cools it'll stabilize you know even at room temperature it'll keep

its shape so uh i thought that might be it so i emailed the guy and i was all this you know hey, I researched this and I researched that and I can tell you didn't do and then he just sent me a picture of this thing that they give out at the restaurant that has the recipe. I thought he'd be all impressed that I'd research stabilized whipped cream.

But I was right, I'll give myself one of these. Give yourself a bill! He uses stabilized whipped cream, but it's cool whip. Oh, I love cool whip. So you take an eight-ounce thing of cool whip, all right? A third of a cup of key lime juice. and a 14-ounce can of sweet and condensed milk.

And you just mix it all together, and it ends up looking sort of like pudding, and you put that in. I'm going to do it in a spring-form pan with a homemade cram-cracker crust, which is really easy to make, too. You just Google that. And then you freeze it.

And when it comes out, even frozen, it's not like a frozen. No, it's not. It never completely, it doesn't, You know, the texture is perfect. If you let it sit out for even five minutes, like, you know, pull it out and slice it up before, you know, you're ready to serve it. It'll be perfect. And it is fantastic.

Have you made it yet? Oh, I have some downstairs. And you can have some as soon as we're done. Yeah. Because now that we're home, I can't get the boys to eat the fucking shit. Really? Yeah. They're like, nah.

Little stinkers. Well, because it's not the same. When you're in Tennessee and it's cold and rainy, yes. Nobody wants to eat key lime pie. But when you're in the keys, you know, and it's, yes, palm trees and the nice. Warm breezes. Exactly what I was going to say. A nice warm breeze.

And the sun's going down and you can watch the sun go down over the Gulf. Yeah. And all of a sudden it's awesome. But anyway, there you go. That's all I got. So is the show over? Yeah. Okay.

All right. Of course it is. Round one. Stacey, you got anything else? That's it, man. That's all good. I appreciate it. All right, buddy.

Hey, don't forget, Vic Henley, your old buddy, coming August 2nd to the Allendale Amphitheater in a town called Kingsport, Tennessee, not too far from the Weird Medicine Studios. So we'll, it's a... And I've already promised to bring him moonshine, so... Make a day of it. Oh, shit. I'll give him...

Moonshine. I got all kinds of day. I got moonshine I made. You got moonshine? Yes. You're aware of that. You've had some of my moonshine. That you made? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, I made it from molasses and white sugar and fermented it and distilled it. I was an organic chemist, so it's cake. And let it sit over fresh cherries for a year. It was very good. So, but anyway, yeah, August 2nd, free concert. Kingsport, Tennessee. Email me.

for lodging information, and there will be information up on et ncomody.com pretty soon. Don't forget Dr. Scott's website. It's simplyerbils.net. It's simplyerbils.net. And don't forget, stuff.com. Please use that. It really helps. Stuff.

Dr.steve.com. Tweakedaio.com has the best earbuds for the price on the market. And if you put in the offer code fluid, you get third. 33% off, which is amazing. It's like getting three for the price of two or one for the price of two-thirds of one. But anyway, if you're interested in getting archives, why would you? Why would you not? Okay, very good.

I can't imagine why you would want to, but that's the kind of salesperson. I am terrible. Go to premium.com.com. Premium.com.com for a buck 99. you can get access to all of our shows plus our premium content such as it is and there are a few premium shows on there so check that out

I'm not interested in doing Patreon really I'm just trying to get all of our stuff behind a paywall so my employer doesn't listen in all right anything else? Sounds good to me what else you got it I want to thank Dr. Scott, Lady Diagnosis Derek Johns for hanging out with us

that we can't forget Rob Sprantz Bob Kelly, Greg Hughes Anthony Coomia Jim Norton, Travis Teft, Eric Nagel, Roland Campo, Sam Roberts, Pat Duffy, Daniel Ross, Ron Bennington, Fez Wattley, who's early support of this show, and has never gone on appreciated. Until next time, check your stupid nuts for lumps, quit smoking, get off your asses and get some exercise. We'll see you in one week for the next edition of Weird Medicine.