Weird Medicine: The Podcast - 322 - 49 Cent

Episode Date: July 26, 2018

Our intern does a best-of show of stuff you haven't heard in awhile (or ever in some cases). Enjoy, we'll be back live next week! This is a good one, Jenny McKinney discusses roller derby, a person pleasures themself with a deer tongue, and more! PLEASE VISIT: stuff.doctorsteve.com simplyherbals.net etncomedy.com (event August 2, 2018, free) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Weird Medicine with Dr. Steve on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. I've got diphtheria crushing my esophagus. I've got to bolivir stripping from my nose. I've got the leprosy of the heartbells, exacerbating my incredible woes. I want to take my brain out. Plastic with the wave, an ultrasonic, agographic, and a pulsating shave. I want a magic pill. Oh, my ailments, the health equivalent to citizen cane.

And if I don't get it now in the tablet, I think I'm doomed, then I'll have to go insane. I want a requiem for my disease. So I'm aging Dr. Steve. Dr. Steve! It's weird medicine, the first and still only uncensored medical show in the history of broadcast radio. Now a podcast. I'm Dr. Steve, and I'm all by myself. Everybody is gone.

We're on vacation. but our in-studio intern comedian Clip Andrews, a.k.a. 49 set has consented to make us a best-of this week, so you're going to get some best-of information and clips from past shows over the last couple of years. This is a show for people who would never listen to a medical show on the radio or the Internet. If you have a question, you're embarrassed to take to your regular medical provider. If you can't find an answer anywhere else, give us a call. 347-66-4-3-23. That's 347.

Follow us on Twitter at Weird Medicine at Lady Diagnosis and at D.R. Scott W.M. And remember, we're not your regular medical providers. And take it away, Cliff. So the next clip I've got is actually from June of 2017. It's with special guest, Jeannie McKinney. She's just this super hilarious comedian. I'm sure you've heard her on here before. She's just wonderful.

And I just love her energy so much. I found this clip and I was listening to it. And I was like, man, her energy is like, it's on point. Like, you know, I feel like she's that kind of person you see at the bar and, like, you're just drinking a shot of whiskey. She walks up to you and she's like already had a bunch and she's like, what are you drinking on here? You little pussy drinking alcohol. And she just turns over like, she starts chugging like a can of regular and let of gasoline.

And you're like, oh, shit, she's real. I got to keep up. That's how I kind of view her a little bit. It's the best of weird medicine. Jenny, did you ever smoke? No. You never did anything, did you? No.

What do you? Have you ever done any, do you have any vices whatsoever? She's broken every bone in our body and torn every ligand. We know that for sure. I just, I just didn't understand why people would do that to their body. Wow. Yeah. And it would always make me really mad at roller derby when, you know, because I had bronchitis a long time ago, and it caused issues and actually changed my laugh.

So a lot of times when I laugh, I'm laughing at my own laugh. But they would come out of roller derby and light up. And I was like, oh, my God, I can't even breathe. they're in practice and they just come right out and, oops. And they could, they just light up and they'd be puffing out there. And I was like, that's crazy to me. That's one of the reasons I didn't do well in soccer is I would smoke a cigarette before the games. That's terrible.

One of the reasons. Yeah, one very good. But yeah, you know what's so crazy. So for maybe 30 years of my life, I haven't thought about roller derby at all. Yeah. And then you were on the show. show. And for people who didn't listen last week, Jenny was previously a roller derby girl. And your name was... Yeah. General man calves. General man calves. And then somebody called in on the

podcast. That was a roller derby girl. Right. That was pretty cool. And she wondered what your name was. She wondered if she knew you. So we've got to get the two of you guys together. We'll get you guys to talk about your... You know, funny thing. She seemed like she broke more bones than you. Oh, she can have it. I'm not trying to one up anybody on that record. Yeah, no shit. Yeah. What were you going to say? Just with people's roller derby names, I don't know people's real names.

Because in roller derby, that you're only known to them as, you know, not Cracker or on our team. We had Les Roll. Les Roll. That's so great. That is fabulous. Some of them were pretty funny. So, yeah, it's like the truckers, they know each other by their. You got the East Coast Cowboy.

Yeah. And I used to get on there, and I was Mr. CB. And I would go, if you've ever been on CB, you ever been on CB radio? Well, it's amplitude modulation. So when they talk over each other, it just makes a big bunch of noise. Right. And I would get in the middle of a bunch of trucks. And I would go, hi, everybody.

This is Mr. CB. I just went tinkle and washed my hands afterward. I like you. No matter what you'd. And then I'd let go with the mic, and all you'd hear is, And then you'd hear, get that three-legged beaver out of there. This is the greatest thing ever. Oh, God.

I had so much fun. That was in my youth. I wouldn't do that now. Yeah. Get that three-legged beaver out of there. That was my favorite line ever. All right. I'm Dr. Steve.

This is Ryan from Baltimore. Listen, I've been using this panther pill. It's a natural male enhancement pill, similar to Viagra. And I want to know if there are any long-term repercussions from this. Okay, so what he's taking is this thing called Black Panther. And I am reading, this is from the 2015. So they may have gotten their shit together and changed this. But this is an FDA fraud alert.

regarding this pill called Black Panther. And it says the Food and Drug Administration is advising consumers not to purchase or use Black Panther, a product promoted for sexual enhancement. This product was identified by FDA during an examination at international mail shipments. And the FDA laboratory analysis confirmed that Black Panther contains Sildenafil. No. So no wonder it works. Sylvilinephil is the active ingredient in Viagra.

So this has happened multiple, multiple times where these companies are selling, quote, unquote, natural cockpills. And every once in a while, one of these companies will get smart and they'll sneak actual working ingredients in it so that people will buy it. And it may be bootlegs syldenafil. They may be getting it from India or somewhere else where they can buy it in bulk for cheap because, you know, the patent rules on medications in other countries aren't the same as they are here. But the FDA will take these out and analyze them, run them through a G.C. Mass. Beck or whatever. And it's like, oops. Look what we have here. And try to pull them from the market.

Now, this was two years ago. This same company may have come out with a new variety that isn't suspect. And if they are fine, you know, but my position on this is, again, if you're, it's hard enough to know you're getting the right thing from your pharmacy. They do a great job. Pharmacists do a fantastic job, but I've had an occasion where they've just made a mistake. And I've gotten the wrong pill in the right bottle. It happens. Maybe one time in a million.

I don't know what the odds are where there's a medication error like that. But if I can't 100% trust my own pharmacist, why would I trust a company that's importing stuff from God knows where with God knows what in it? And it's not regulated by the FDA. The only time the FDA can step in is when they see illegal activity going on. So I don't know what's in it. Now, Dr. Scott sells some herbal. malarkey. He has his stress less and his fatigue reprieve. But you have some sort of agency that monitors what you're putting in it, right? And what is that? And it's got it marked on

it too, right? Where it says it's certified that what you say is in it. GMP, good manufacturing processes. Okay. So that is some third party that you contract with to say, look, here's what we put in it. And then they say, okay, then we will stamp it. It's acceptable. Yeah. And approve it so that people have some confidence that what they're buying is what they are being told that they're buying right and all and i see that buying and our stuff is all uh fdaa approved as far as the shipping and packaging and everything sure okay um you know it's it's a strange why doesn't everybody do that well not everybody has to i mean you know because if it you're specifically says a dietary supplement so that keeps you from number one being able to make medical

claims right i do not claim that it does anything right right Right. That's why I can call it herbal malarkey and you can, you just have to suck it up. But, you know, GVAC and my wife take this stuff and they love it. And I take it all the time. But, you know, the thing is with our stuff, probably 98% of the ingredients we have in there have all been researched and independently, but not in this formulary. And that's the thing. I was reading some of the ingredients on this Black Panther thing. And a lot of it's just vitamin B.

Oh, yeah. You know, and it's. Well, niacin. give you a jazzy, flushed feeling. Right. Most of them put Yohemian in because that's been shown to work. And Garana.

And there's a couple things in there. Yeah, Garana will make your heartbeat faster so you feel like you're more energetic. So, you know, who knows? I can't, if this is a different formulation than the 2015 formulation, the only way we can tell if it works is to do a double-blind placebo-controlled study. I'm sorry, that's the only way. Even when you take ingredients that are proven to do other things in a different combination, for you to be able to say that it does something. Now, Dr. Scott doesn't say that.

He just calls it an energy booster. But for Dr. Scott to make a claim that it improves mental fitness or something, he would have to give 100 people a placebo, 100 people his stuff, and then give people a test and make sure it's blinded so nobody knows what's what. And at the end of it, decode it and see if there's a statistically significant difference. And if there is, then he could, in theory, apply to the FDA and try to make a specific medical claim. Right, make a claim about it, exactly. But it's just so fucking expensive.

Yeah, no, it's crazy. That's the horrible part. I mean, I would love to do that for everything. It costs billions of dollars to get something like. prevised to the market. Yeah, I was quoted $100 million to get to get through all of the FDA studies and do all the research studies. That's just at your level.

So how much have you actually made off of stress less right now? Just in general. Have you made $100 million to say that? No. Have you made 10% of that? No. Exactly. That's why you can't do it.

Can't afford to you. Okay. All right. So anyway, just be careful. I'm sticking with the malarkey. It's cheaper. Yeah, no shit. And the other thing is you can, if you're worried about the expense of sildenafil, there is a way to get it cheaper.

And you, compounding pharmacies can make something for you if it's not available on the market. So there are pills of sildenophil on the market. So they can't make you sildenophil pills. But there are no sublingual lozenges of Viagra. So they can make that for you. And they can get it in bulk and they can make it really cheap. I would get 100 milligram sildenafil lozenges, cut them in quarters. And I think that they were like two, three bucks a piece.

And last, if you check the prices on Viagra right now, Dr. Scott, if you would, find out what the price of 100 milligram. What are you looking at beer? No, I was looking at that Black Panther thing. I was going a relative price. Oh, yeah. And this thing, this thing is, it was $23 for six pills. Oh, is that right? Well, fuck, there's not a whole lot of difference between that and Viagra.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, let's see here. Let's go to Viagra prescription prices. Ooh, golly, $62 for how many is that? Damn. $20. Damn, bro.

Yeah, it's expensive. Do they have to have a prescription? $60 a tablet at CVS according to this. Yeah. AccessRX.com. And that's if you're not, if they don't, if they don't pre-qualify you. Go to a compounding pharmacy, get them to make it for you. What was your question, Jenny?

I was just asking if he actually wanted the actual Viagra, would he have to go to a, get a prescription? You have to have a prescription. Now, in some states, it is legal for doctors to do what they call telemedicine without a face-to-face examination. So there are some places where you'll hear, they'll advertise, well, you'll talk to our doctor. doctor and they'll do a clinical evaluation and then they'll write you a prescription. And so it's it's kind of a, they are exploiting a state that's got sort of liberal prescribing laws. And they'll sit there and people will call in, no, I'm not on nitrates. No, I'm not on, you know, X, Y, and Z medications. I don't have any history of hypotension and things like that. That

physician will then write them a prescription and then hand it over to their in-house pharmacist who will then sell them the medication. So it's a nice money-making thing, and it's relatively risk-free. You know, you get your, the malpractice will cover you for that in those states because it's legal. Oh, okay. But anyway, all right. That's good enough. I need it.

Now, I. Exactly. In case your penis is flaccid. We had somebody that ordered some stuff from an online pharmacy. They thought it was Canadian pharmacy. but the box came from the Seychelles, which is a group of islands off the coast of Africa, and the medication was actually manufactured in India. And that's not necessarily a bad thing.

India's got a very, you know, advanced medical system, but sometimes you don't know what you're getting. You think you're getting syl-denafil or Viagra made by Pfizer, and you're really getting something else. Every once in a while, people get something completely different. If you're buying Xanax online, who knows what you're going to get? One person I read about it, I didn't know this one personally, ordered Xanax online, which is illegal. Okay. So that's your first hint. And it came from some third world country.

And what was in it was actually Halloparadol, which is Haldol, which is not a controlled substance, but it's an antipsychotic. We used to use it for schizophrenia. Now, it has a kind of similar effect to Xanax, so that some people would take it. It's a lot less habit forming, so it really wasn't a horrible substitution, but that wasn't what they ordered. It wasn't horrible. Anyway. The Hal doll shuffle. So if you're the manufacturer of these Panther pills and the FDA thing was either wrong or you've fixed what you've got, good for you, I just can't recommend it until I see a double-blind placebo-controlled trial, that's it.

All right. It's the best of weird medicine. All right. Hope you enjoyed that. I've got some more stuff here. This next clip is actually from July of 2017. I picked this up because I just felt like it just, it's so, it's just, you just got to listen. In this next clip, our doctors discuss pulp fiction and a dill pickle leg cramps.

I hope you enjoy. This isn't even better. Hey, Dr. Steve. This is Calvin in California. I had a question about a scene from Pope Fiction. There was a moment where Uma Thurman played Mia Wallace, and she was laying unconscious on the floor, and they had to take an adrenaline needle and jam it through her sternum

in order to inject into her heart, pure adrenaline, and wake her up out of the coma. I was wondering, if you remember that scene, how medically accurate that whole depiction was, and I was thinking if she'd taken something like... Anyway, okay. Now he's getting into his commentary. So we'll just, we'll stop it at the end of his actual question.

Who could forget that scene? If I remembered nothing else from Pulp Fiction, I would remember that scene. And one of the things I remember about it was I was in or had graduated from medical school when it came out. And I was like, boy, that's a whole lot of horseshit. Right. It's great film. Yeah. But it's a whole lot of horseshit as far as medical treatment is concerned.

Now, have doctors ever stuck a needle in somebody's heart? Yes. Yes. It's called intracardiac injection, and it's a last resort. I've never seen it, Don. I've seen a needle plate, and you don't, first off. You don't have to go through the sternum. Right.

They kept calling it the breastplate. You've got to go through her breastplate, which I'm assuming they meant the sternum. Right. No, you go between the ribs. There's a hole there. And you don't. start you don't use a sledgehammer to do it it's not an axe you actually get it at the edge of the rib you know between the ribs and then you just insert it nice and easy right it takes some force to get through all that stuff there's no question about it but not that it's deeper than you think and it is much deeper than you think matter of fact your scalp tissue is deeper than you think you think if you feel your scalp and move it around it feels like you think it's dead on the bone yes it feels like it's paper thin it's right on the bone but when you cut into that it's really really deep it's it's weird i even knowing it

i'm i'm feeling my skull skull right now through my scalp and it still feels like it's right under the skin but it's not but anyway that is an illusion so um i have never seen an intracurdiac injection done i have seen uh where they use that same kind of needle go under the rib cage and point it toward the heart and try to pull out fluid from the paracardium. That's right. Very good, Dr. Scott. I'll give you one of those. Get yourself a bill.

There is a tissue that surrounds the heart, and if it gets too much fluid in it, it can actually compress the heart to the point where it can't beat effectively anymore. We call that paracardial tamponod. And when you get that, they'll take a needle that has an electrode on it. And that electrode is hooked up to. an EKG machine and when you stick that needle in and point it toward the heart, when you start to see electrical activity on the EKG machine, you know that you're actually touching the tissue of the heart itself, so you back off a little bit and you should be right in the

fluid. And then you put vacuum on it or just pull back on the syringe and you can pull back the, you know, empty the paracardium of fluid pretty safely. Right. And it's pretty interesting. So I've seen that, but I've never seen an actual intracardiac. injection because we have other ways of doing things now. You can take epinephrine, which is the same thing as adrenaline, put it down an endotracheal tube,

which is a tube that you put down someone's throat into their lungs to maintain their airway and breathe for them. When they're on the ventilator, you see in movies that thing coming out of their mouth hooked up to a big tube. That's what that is. You can put medicine down there if you don't have an IV. Otherwise, you can give the medication intravenously, and it gets their drug. just as fucking fast. Right. Almost.

Now, the thing, so that's the intercardiac injection. So that part, the way they did it was very dramatic. It looked awesome. It's great from a storytelling point of view because it was just so effed up. Right, right. And why has that guy got a giant syringe of adrenaline with an 18-gauge needle? 18-gauge needles. It's got about 50 C-C.

It's not even like a little one. Right, right. Like a huge honking. Right. It was like a core. like a quart of adrenaline. I don't think she needs that much. No, so you're right.

We use these little tubes that might have three to five MLs in them, little tiny tubes. But anyway, the problem is she, if I remember correctly, her heart hadn't stopped. She thought something was cocaine and it turned out to be high-grade heroin. So she actually had an opioid overdose. Right. And that can be fatal. That will stop your breathing. basically is what happens.

And when you don't breathe, you don't live and you, you know, you get brain anoxia and then your heart stops and then you die. So what they should have given her was an app of what's called Narcan. Now, the reason I want to bring this up is because opioid overdose, although very dramatic and cool in that movie, is no fucking laughing matter. It happens all the damn time. Every day. People, particularly if they're using street opioids, because you can't gauge how powerful they are. The one thing about pharmaceutical opioids is if you get eight milligrams of dilaudid, you're pretty sure it's actually eight milligrams of dilaudid. Or if you get, you know, 30 milligrams of roxycodone, that's probably what it is.

So if you, you know, are tolerant to that dose, you'll be okay. But when you're buying stuff off the street, what if you get some that's not adulterated? You're used to taking something that's adulterated. Now you get something that's four times. more powerful and then you're injecting it and then you overdose and you die. So the federal government has approved and a medication called Narcan for use and in the home. And you can get it in syringe form, which is really cheap. Or you can get it in a slightly more expensive form. It's a Narcan nasal spray. And you can take a little class. Just look up.

Narcan certification on the internet, and you can take a little online class and get a little plaque that you can hang on your wall if you want, and then you are educated on administering this Narcan stuff. And what it does is it competes with the narcotic at the level of the receptor and just knocks it off. And when it knocks it off, it can't affect you anymore, and you wake up. If she had had an opioid overdose, and they would have given her an intravenous or intranasal, and that's what the thing that you can buy in the pharmacy is, a dose of Narcan, she would have woken up in around 30 seconds to a minute.

And then when you do that, you've got to call 911 right then because it's temporary. Right. You know, if they took a dose that's going to last two or three hours and then you give them something that's going to last 15 minutes, it's enough to get them to the hospital, but it's not enough to. to, you know, save their life. To outlast the other drugs. Yeah, not to outlast the other. Exactly right.

So, but that's, you know, if they've gone, oh, well, I have this Narcan nasal spray. Let's try it. And then 30 seconds later, her eyes fluttered open and she went, where am I? That wouldn't have been as dramatic as Uma Thurman getting a needle between the tits and waking up suddenly and then just being okay. Yep. And a thud to take it. That was great. It was so fucking great.

Um, no question, I am a huge Tarantino fan. And that doesn't even take me out of the movie because I can suspend disbelief in that universe. That's what you do. I still love my favorite, my favorite part in the whole movie was when, you know, they, um, Bruce Willis went down and saved the guy from, from, um, from the Gimp. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he asked him if he was okay. I'm pretty fucking far from okay. I'm pretty fucking far from okay.

I love that. Oh, my God. That makes me. that was the best ever so great i'm pretty fucking fall all right so that's the story on pulpics okay just as a follow-up to a previous call i called a few weeks ago talking about or asking questions about nocturnal leg cramps okay kind of what caused them how to prevent them of things talking to one of the old timers up in the mountains and they suggested deal pickle juice or eating a few deal pickles before i went to bed i've tried that the last few weeks and have not

have a single link cramp. Okay. So I did some research on this, and there's a lot of anecdotal evidence about pickle juice. And to the point where it makes me wonder if maybe there's something to it, I would love to see someone do a study on this. What could it be? Could it be something in the gherkins that leeches out, or is it just the vinegar? Some sugar in there? Who knows?

Yeah, it's hard because we don't know which pickle juice he's drinking. Right. They have different types of pickling. Well, that's right. You know, my God. They sweet pickles, they'll pickle, butter, pickles. Exactly. You never know.

So. That would be kind of cool. I hadn't heard that before. Yeah. They use pickle juice for all kinds of stuff. It's supposed to be good for you. This is anecdotal evidence. I don't have, I looked on PubMed to see if they had anything on pickle juice.

Couldn't find anything. It's also. anecdotal that you put a bar of soap and you're and we've had people call in swear that that works. I have a funny feeling it's the foreign body itself because when I sleep with my iPad in the bed with me, I don't get leg cramps. At least it doesn't seem to. Now, the other thing about this is he says he's gone two weeks without having any lip cramps. Well, how often were they happening? He might have been coming up on the two week period anyway.

Because you're right. If it's intermittent, let's say, You go three months and then you get a whole bunch of them and then you go another six months and then you get some. You have to take something for a year to prove that it's actually doing something. Two weeks doesn't tell you shit. It just tells you those two weeks you didn't have leg cramps. So I'm unconvinced but I am interested and I would like to do more research on that. What we've found absolutely works and I can't tell you why it works, only that there are some studies

on this is using quinine. And the problem is we can't get quinine anymore because it caused cataracts and rats or something. So we can't prescribe it anymore. The FDA took it off the market. But you can absolutely obtain quinine at your local

grocery store or drugstore in the form of tonic water. And taking four ounces of tonic water before you go to bed, if you have nightly leg cramps, we'll definitely get rid of them. If they happen while, you know, there's nothing you can take while they're happening to get rid of them. You have to stretch in the opposite direction.

So if you find that your toes are pointing because your calves are contracting, then you have to stand up and you've got to extend your calves. The way to do that, stand on the floor, lean forward and put your body against the wall so that's stretching your calves. The Charlie Horse, or nocturnal leg cramp, will go. away. And then if, but if you find that you're having them every night, then it's worth taking something every day. Shoot you out.

And try four ounces of tonic water. You put a little lime in there and some ice. And whether you do the gin or not is up to you. That's totally your call. You know, please drink responsibly. But it's really the tonic water that does the trick. I wondered if maybe there was magnesium or something in, in pickle juice. It would be interesting to just find out what the constituents of pickle juice are.

You'd have to run it through a gas chromatograph or a GC mass spec that's a gas chromatography, a mass spectroscopy machine that will show you what the molecular weights of things are and you can sort of determine what's in some substance. And that would be interesting to do that, just to see if there's some, you know, interesting thing that happens when you put cucumbers in vinegar and heat it up. Right. There might be something. Might be something there? I don't know. Anyway. You never know.

No. You know, we get all these antibiotics from natural substances. They saw fungus killing bacteria on a petri dish. And what you see when you're doing that is you'll see bacteria kind of form a slime over the petri dish. And then if you drop a little fungus on there and it's killing the bacteria, you'll see a clear ring around the, the fungus and that was how penicillin was discovered that's my understanding and then you go well okay so now what well you take that clear auger out and then you start breaking it up into constituents and you can do that with a glass sorry a liquid chromatography setup where you solubleize that auger you know it's just

jello sure and then you start running it through a resin tube and then you can have a little detector at the end, and it watches for different molecules coming out, because what the resin tube will do is separate molecules by their molecular weight. So the bigger ones will come down last. The smaller ones will come down early, and you can see these peaks just by changes in the density of the liquid as far as it's refractive index. Don't worry about that, but how does it reflect light? And then every time you get a peak, you put a different tube under there. So now you've got a bunch of tubes that have different molecules in them, and they'll be concentrated.

And now you take each one of those and you dip that on a petri dish and find out which one of them actually kills the bacteria. Because some of those proteins are just going to be from the gel itself. Some of them might be from the food coloring that you put in there or the blood. Sometimes we use blood auger, so it'll be proteins from blood. It might be hemoglobin, things like that. But then one of those is going to clarify the petri dish. And that's the one that has whatever it is that caused the clearing and the killing of the bacteria. And then you just have your work cut out for you.

Now that you can figure out which peak it is, you can do that over and over again until you get a ton of this stuff. And then you just have to analyze it. There's methods for doing that in chemistry to analyze things. But that's how they do this. And that's how they discovered penicillin. And then you can take the penicillin, and once you know the molecular structure, you can synthesize it in the lab. You can start screwing around with it. Well, let's change this nitrogen to a hydrogen or to an oxygen or to a sulfur and see what happens.

And, you know, that's how all these different brands of antibiotics came about. So, you know, it's pretty interesting. It's really cool. It all stems from natural substances. The only purely engineered. medicine that I'm aware of, and there may be some now, is a thing called prelidoxene. And prelidoxime is used for insecticide poisoning. Okay.

People who get insecticide poisoning will salivate and they'll sweat like crazy and they'll get delirious. And this prelidoxime stuff was specifically designed with knowledge of the receptor that the insecticides were contaminating. and they knew how many nanometers they had to make this substance, you know, have little prongs, chemical prongs, kind of, and what electrical charges they needed to adhere to that receptor. And they just designed it on paper, and then they created it in the lab, and then when they gave it to people, it actually worked. And it wasn't from a natural substance at all, was just purely designed based on their knowledge of the receptor. The best of weird medicine with Dr. Steve, is it who cares? You still hanging in there with me? If you've fallen asleep, I need you to go into your nearest bar and just, you know, find Jenny there and see if she's got anything that can help that can pick you up.

Don't drink gasoline, but, you know, definitely find something to amp up your energy if you're falling asleep. Anyways, up next, I've got an actual continuation of a previous clip with our special guest host, McKinney in it from June of 2017. This one is all about herpes immunity. Yes, Dr. Steve, I have a question about herpes. Is it possible for someone to be immune to the herpes virus? My fiancé has herpes one and two, been diagnosed with it. We have had unprotected sex since we've been together for seven years.

I've neither had a breakout, nor have I tested positive for herpes. And I'm just wondering, is there a reason that? I'd like to know how he determined that he's not tested positive for herpes. Did they do, the only real test you can do if you're not showing symptoms is to do a blood test to look and see if you have antibodies. And most people honestly will have antibodies to something. because so many people have been exposed to cold sores and stuff and herpes simplex one. And there is a hypothesis out there that if you've had herpes simplex one, that may confer some immunity, particularly to infecting yourself, for example. You know, you could auto-immunity.

There are, you know, auto-infections, too, where people can take it from one part of the body to the other. They can stick their finger in a cold sore and then stick their finger in their eye and sometimes get ocular. herpes. It doesn't happen very often, but the fact that it doesn't happen very often tells you that you're able to make antibodies, that you do have antibodies to it and that they confer some form of immunity because otherwise it would spread all over the place because it's a pretty virulent, you know, it loves to reproduce. So, yes, there is some possibility that you could be immune. The only way that you would know, though, is if you had intercourse with her while she was actively displaying symptoms, which is unlikely, thank goodness, because she isn't going to feel

like it and you don't want to chance it. No. The odds of transmitting herpes from one infected partner to another is around, it's lower than you think. It's around 10% per year. So if you are with somebody for 10 years, the odds are pretty damn good that you're going to finally transmit it to them. But the odds aren't 100%.

They're never 100%. And some people shed more virus between. outbreaks than other people do. Now, if you want to prevent transmission even further for other people who are out there, the infected partner can take lysine every day. The data on it isn't great, but it's cheap. It's an amino acid that competes with the arginine that herpes makes its coat out of. So the hypothesis is that it would prevent the herpes virus from effectively making its coat. And then they can take VALTRAX. You can take VALTRAX every day to just suppress the amount of virus that's being released. And if you ever have intercourse with someone and they call

you up the next day and go, ha, ha, ha, I have herpes. You can call your primary care physician right then and take a morning after set of Viagra pills. And the prevention dose, I'm not sure what it is, of its 500 milligrams twice a day for four days. What did I say Viagra? Viagra, yeah. I'm sorry, Valtrex. Okay, just make sure. Did I say Viagra before or two?

No. No. Just this time. Just this time. Okay. I was like, oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Jenny's like, hey, that's awesome.

Yeah, you get a big old. She's going to start, she's going to be sending her husband an email. I guess what out there texting. Giant meaty rod and then the herpes just flies off because it's got no. If a cat can't scratch it, the herpes can hang on to it. But, no, Valtrex. Valtrex. I think it's 500 milligrams twice a day for four days or something, and you can most of the time prevent contracting herpes by doing that.

And by the way, if you are worried that you've been exposed to herpes, you're going to know within four days. And the primary herpetic event is usually not a quiet affair. It's usually the biggest, most widely blown, most painful and inflammatory outbreak that you will have. Every outbreak after that will be less. less intense. What is the difference between one and two? Excellent question. Oh, let me see.

Well, shit, never mind. Ding, ding, ding. Well, I'll push this one. That means that's a total non-sequitur. Okay. I have, never mind. I had an, ooh, I'm one of these. But I erased it to put something else in and then now I'm pissed.

But it is a great question. Herpes one is trophic. In other words, loves to live in the upper body, particularly the face and particularly the mouth. And herpes, too, is trophic for the genitals. Now, just like someone who prefers to live in Florida but now is living in Maine, herpes one can live on the genitals. It just doesn't like it. Okay. And vice versa.

Yeah. Now, when you get herpes one on your genitals, you might only have. one outbreak a year, you might have one or two outbreaks and then never have another one. So it's a lot more calm than a herpes simplex two infection where you'll have regular outbreaks that are pretty much the same every time. Now, people think, therefore, that herpes simplex one is the quote-unquote good virus and herpes simplex two is the naughty one. But the truth is that herpes simplex one is the one that causes herpes encephalitis.

People, when they get a brain infection with herpes, that will F you up, big time. And if babies get it, when they're born, it's really a problem. So really herpes simplex one, even though it masquerades as being the good twin. It's really goofus in the goofus and gallant of herpes viruses, if you remember, goofus and gallant from Highlights Maxine. I had a friend, her brother, went to a strip club. It was his first time. he turned 18, and the stripper put his glasses down in her underwear. Oh, no.

And they gave him back. And he got it. And he passed out. He fell asleep with him on, and he woke up the next morning and had ocular herpes. Oh, my goodness. Oh, for God's sake. That's terrible. Yeah, the no contact rule includes fomites, too.

So that illustrates an interesting point of infectious disease is the fomite transmission. A fomite is an inanimate object upon which, you can deposit an infectious agent and then someone else can pick it up. Yeah. So, you know, puk bugs on doorknobs and, you know, just all kinds of stuff like that. Or that's, that's fomite transmission. That's what that was. Yeah. And the herpes virus can live for a few minutes out in the air before it dries out and dies and denatures. So once he gets that in his eyes then, he'll have it forever?

That's usually where it will come back somewhere around there. Because what happens is the body attacks it, finally kills it off, but a few of the viral particles will hide in the nerve endings that supply that part of the skin. And they will retreat back into these nerve bundles called ganglia. And they'll sit there until nobody knows, it's stress or whatever causes them to come back out again. Yeah. You know? Yeah, it kind of sucks. So herpes is implicated in Bell's palsy, too.

So people that get Bell's palsy will think they had a stroke because they'll wake up one day and have their faces drooping and numb. And there are some neurologists that will treat those people with Valtrex and steroid to try to prevent permanent damage to that nerve. Anyway. All right. All right. Thank you so much for tuning in. I really appreciate Dr. Steve and Dr. Scott for giving me the end. opportunity to host today again i really appreciate that our final clip is from december of

2017 when uh we experienced a little bit of a doctor strike here at the show and we discuss a burney soapy penis you all thanks so much for tuning in enjoy it's the best of weird medicine lethal non-traumatic or non-lethal right it's seldom non-lethal that means it's usually lethal Right. I didn't write the goddamn thing. That's a bullshit article. Okay, whoever wrote that article didn't know how to express themselves. Right.

I think the point being is that... Let's talk about what auto eroticism is. Auto eroticism is self-pleasure. Stimulation, that's right. Right, okay. Rosie red palmer or five fingers. That in itself is autoeroticism. Right on.

Now, autoerotic asphyxiation is a little different. Is what John Carradine did. Is it John Carradine? David. David. David. David. David.

David. David. David. You know, allegedly. And when I was a medical examiner in the state of Vermont, I used to get the medical examiner's journal, and it is rife with fun deaths. They loved it. They loved.

They would show pictures of people that got run over by steamrollers and run over by trains and stuff like that. They had one guy that gave himself a concrete enema. And if you know anything about concrete, that's an exothermic reaction. It is it hardens. It gets super hot. Cooked himself from the inside out. There was another guy that they had who died after giving himself a champagne enema and then engaging in autoerotic. asphyxiation.

Wow. And this is where people choke themselves and they'll have these various devices to choke themselves to the point of unconsciousness as they're ejaculating and it's supposed to heighten the effect and it becomes very addictive. The problem with it is is that if it goes beyond the point of unconsciousness and your fail-safe device doesn't work, then you die. Right. And this guy in the journal had given himself a champagne anima and got alcohol

all toxicity, because by the way, y'all, just fucking drink the shit. If you're going to do champagne, just drink it. That's what it's for. Because when you drink it, you can gauge how much you're getting. When you shove a whole bottle up your ass and it gets all absorbed all at once through your colon, because that's what the colon does is reabsorb liquid, you're going to get too fucked up too fast and you can't control it. When you're sipping a little sip of champagne, you're able to sort of.

to judge where you're going and try to not kill yourself. You may get wasted, but you won't die, usually. Well, typically vomit, you know, if you drink. You might vomit, as they say down here. Vomick. So, yeah, that's a terrible way that I wouldn't have. Yeah. Oh, my word.

Well, I went to the Walmart and I vomicked, but they wouldn't give me no credit. So. Welcome to Hillbillyville. So anyway, that's, yes. drink it don't do what this guy did so he gave himself champagne enema did our auto erotic asphyxiation passed out the failsafe failed and he died and when they came in and found him you know the enema tube still sticking out of his ass his dick is in his hands the root nooses around his neck and the hansen video is still playing on a loop so if you don't want to be embarrassed

by your death don't do stupid things like that but anyway okay Okay, so this is from a medical examiner's journal that you're reading this. Yeah, so we'll skip through to the most important part here. So reports of bestiality typically involve descriptions of sexual relationships between humans and animals and are analyzed through psychological methods. No reports of bestiality involving the use of animal tissue for erotic purposes have been published. We report, we report, that's the hasn't, they've not been published. In other words, these guys aren't publishing stuff that they do in their dark rooms.

But anyway, we report the use of deer tongue as a masturbatory tool. So here's where we're confused. Deer tongue is a masturbatory tool, right? Yeah. So which... Right, are they cutting a hole in it and fucking it? Or is the male using as a masturbatory tool? You know, just rubbing her clitoris with this.

That's a tough question. I guess it could go either way. They don't say? No, they do not say. There's got to be a follow-up article or the actual journal article somewhere. I tried looking up and it did. You did? It did not go into the full report. Uh-oh.

I'm going to say, sorry I can't talk right now. Call us back later. We, um, yeah, you know, you can go either way with that. I guess if it's a large enough tongue or small enough penis, you could easily cut a hole in it and use it as a sloth. as a slide on. Right. A sheath. It'll a whole lot better to just go to Adam and Eve and buy a gel masturbator.

And we've talked about those on the show as a device for training yourself away from premature ejaculation. Right. And I could see somebody, I mean, people have carved holes in all kinds of stuff and just, you know, gone to town on it. Portnoy's complaint, Philip Roth talked about fucking a chunk of liver. that he got sent out to pick up. Oh, goodness. From the store. Mother sent him out to get a liver from the store for dinner, and he fucked it instead.

Well, I guess... So, porn noise complaint, the great damn book. And I, of course, when I was a kid, would take a baggie and put it between the mattress and box springs and fill the baggie up with some sort of... lotion and then just fuck that. You get a lot of pressure doing that way. If you have a big, I don't know, and, and let me tell you this, don't do this one. Don't beat off with shampoo and then not wash it off afterward because the skin of your penis will slough off.

I had that happen. Well, and it's also potentially burns because of mucosal membrane inside the urethra, the external. Yeah, well, if you get it. In your cockhole particularly, or the meatus, as Dr. Scott is wont to say. The other thing. That's G-U-X favorite word, we've got to use the meatus. The meatus, because it's spelled meetus, M-E-A-T-U-S. The other thing that's interesting is I would beat off with VIX Vaporub, which feels nice and warm up until the point that you ejaculate.

And there's some weird switch in your nervous system that goes off. Because it just has a nice warmth to it. And then as soon as you ejaculate your tics on fire, it turns on those nerve endings. And you can't get that shit off you fast enough. And, of course, it's Vicks vapor rub. Oh, my word. It's, you can't get rid of it that fast. We should have had it.

I mean, it can't be just rinsed off with water. It's petroleum. Right. We should have had a disclaimer on this. Kids do not do this at home. So my, my ex-wife, I told her that story. And she said, well, didn't it burn? And I was like, yeah.

And I like. Burned good. And I liked it. It burns so good. All right, Cliff, awesome job, man. Thank you so much. Check out Cliff Andrews, aka 49 cent, August 2nd at Aldeal at Allendale Mansion at the Amphitheater.

he will be opening for Vic Hanley. It's a free concert. So come out and come say hello. If you're a weird medicine listener, you come say hi to me. I'll buy you a beer. So anyway, thanks always go to Dr. Scott, 49 cent, lady diagnosis, and all the rest. Until next time, check your stupid nuts for lumps.

Quit smoking it off your asses and get some exercise. We'll see you in one week for the next edition of Weird Medicine. And because comfortably none