Weird Medicine: The Podcast - 365 - Dee Got Her Groove Back

Episode Date: June 26, 2019

Finally, after 10 years, "Dee From Nashville" (winner of the Best Voicemail Award) live in studio! Night Nurse Evy returns! Chaos ensues as Dr Steve gets an education on single life in 2019. PLEASE VISIT: stuff.doctorsteve.com (for all your online shopping needs!) simplyherbals.net (Dr Scott’s nasal rinse is here!) noom.doctorsteve.com (lose weight, gain you-know-what) tweakedaudio.com offer code “FLUID” (best CS anywhere) bet.doctorsteve.com (Bet DSI! Try to beat my kid!) premium.doctorsteve.com (all this can be yours!) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Conjuring Last Rites On September 5th I come down here with you in your house Array! Array! Array! Array! Array!

The conjuring, last rites. Only in theater, September 5th, where it are. This episode is brought to you by Amazon Prime. From streaming to shopping, Prime helps you get more out of your passions. So whether you're a fan of true crime or prefer a nail-biting novel from time to time, with services like Prime Video, Amazon music, and fast-free delivery, Prime makes it easy to get more out of whatever you're into or getting into.

Visit Amazon.com slash Prime to learn more. If you're thirsting for asphalt's melting your work boots, tape measure has anger issues, nail guns talking smack again, and hard hat baked onto head-level refreshment, we definitely have that. Cool off with Gatorade Summer Blaze, available only at Circle K. When you're feeling the heat, Circle K makes your day. You're listening to Weird Medicine with Dr. Steve on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com.

We're medicine, contains mature contents that may be offended to some listeners. What did they wrong in? You know, your house is like another. I love a masturbate. I love a masterbeam. I love a masturbate. I've got diphtheria, crushing my esophagus. I've got to bolivide stripping from my nose.

I've got the leprosy of the heartbell, exacerbating my infertable woes. I want to take my brain note, and blasts with the wave, an ultrasonic, egographic, and a pulsating shave. I want a magic mill. Oh, my ailments, the health equivalent of citizen cane. And if I don't get it now in the tablet, I think I'm doomed, then I'll have to go insane.

I want a requiem for my disease. So I'm aging Dr. Steve. It's weird medicine, the first and still only uncensored medical show in the history of broadcast radio, now a podcast. I'm Dr. Steve. With my little pal, night nurse Evie, back from sabbatical, a triumphant return. Thank you, Mr. And a woman I've been wanting to meet for almost a decade. I think it's been like 10 years.

It's been about 10 years. The winner of the funniest phone call in weird medicine history, that's Dee from Nashville, everyone. Hello, Dee. Yay. Give you a... Well, you can hardly hear the applause, but it's there. This is a show for people who never listen to a medical show on the radio or the internet.

If you've got a question, you're in Paris to take your regular medical provider. If you can't find an answer anywhere else, give us a call. at 347-7-66-4-3-3-2-7. That's 34-7. Take it away, D. Pooh-Head. Oh, she did it. All right. Nicely done. If you're listening to us live, the number 754-227-3-6-47, that's 754-EVee. I don't know. Oh, now. It's been a while. That's 754-22 penis.

Oh, that's one. For my personal favorite, 754 bare nip. I mean, what are the odds? that those two things fit those. Follow us on Twitter at Weird Medicine. Visit our website at Dr. Steve.com for podcast, medical news and stuff you can buy. Go to our merchandise store, cafepress.com. That's slash Weird Medicine. Most importantly, we're not your medical providers.

Take everything you hear with a grain of salt. Don't act on anything you hear on this show without talking to over with your doctor, nurse practitioner, physician assistant, pharmacist, chiropractor, acupuncturist, yoga, master, physical therapist, clinical laboratory scientist, registered dietitian or whatever. All right, very good. So thank you for being here. Our long-term listeners will remember D because back when P.A. John was on this show, we did a thing about medical smells. And let me get rid of that music so I can play this.

And Dee called in, and as soon as we heard her phone call, we knew we had a winner. So let's play her phone call real quick. We just did this on the XM show, so our reaction. and here may be slightly muted, but this phone call never gets old. That smell was just like, oh, no, no, no, wait. Let's start over. Okay, let's try that again. Hey, Dr. Steve.

My name is Dee. I'm in Nashville, Tennessee. I am calling because you said something about a worst medical smell. I was sitting in with a dentist one day. A man came in, his jaw was swollen. The doctor had a round probe, was moving his jaw out of the way. brushed up against whatever the lesion was inside of his mouth and some shit came out of it that looked like green peas like pea soup and the smell was so nauseatingly bad that I quit school

and I am a realtor now I'm not doing anything in the medical profession because that smell was just like unreal unlike anything I had ever heard before so there you go you dodged a bullet on that one too. You really did. It's gross. Yeah. Can you eat peas now? Yes. Probably took a while. Because thankfully the peas don't smell anything like this man's face and mouth.

So what he had, and we talk about this on the Sir 6-M show too, and then we'll move on to things we didn't talk about on there. But he most likely had an abscess, and it could have even been a peri-tonsular abscess. I hope not that the dentist wasn't messing with that, because really an ear-nose-and-and-a-nose. throat surgeons should be doing that. But sometimes they can get so big and easy to break that you can just brush against them and they'll open up. But it had mouth bacteria in it.

And if you've ever not brushed your teeth even for a day and you smell that smell, those bacteria put them in a living casing, let them breed. And then when you open it out to the air, just imagine the smell. It's bad breath times 10,000. Just the most horrible, dead, awful smell. And it's because those bacteria are what we call anaerobic bacteria. They're the worst. So those are bacteria that can live without oxygen.

Right. I don't see how you get it. And, you know, they don't care how they smell. Well, you know, have you seen the YouTube videos they have out of people with tartar soap cake? Yeah. That's, I don't get it. Yeah. Well, if you want to Google something disgusting, and I'm just going to tell you right now,

Now, the people who are listening, do not do this, because I don't want to hear about it. But oral myiasis, I'm going to spell it for you, but I'm advising you not to look at it. If I ever go on a show and they say, what's the grossest thing, I'll say, just Google that. Google image that, and then I can just sit back and listen to the most, you know, these people puking and retching. Okay, so you know I'm doing it now. Of course she is. So you know, I'm doing it. Oh, let me see.

I told you. Oh, no. Okay. It's maggots. It's maggot infestation of the mouth. How can that happen? Well, so this often happens, sadly, with, you know, a disadvantaged population, like a homeless population. And they got bad teeth and rotten teeth, and they're sleeping outside.

And they're mouth breathing. And they're snoring, and the flies get in and get to this lovely necrotic tissue that's in there. and then lay eggs. And then the next thing you know, they hatch and then you've got maggots. Now, we will use maggots in medicine. Yeah, to clean up. Sure. You've got a nasty wound.

You can throw some sterile maggots in there, and they'll just clean it up better than any surgeon can do. But these aren't sterile. No. No, that's just. Now, don't Google. Okay, so here's another one. Don't Google image penile myiasis or vaginal myiasis because it's the same thing. but in a different part of the body. And if you really want to Google something horrific,

and I'm, again, telling you not to do this, do not do this. But these are my go-toes when I go on radio shows, and they ask me something. Because it's like, well, you serve you right for asking. Fornier's Gangrene. Don't do it. That's a big one. It's a Fournier is F-O-U-R-N-I-E-R.

She's doing it. And Fornier's Gang-Grene is Neckon. Decoritying fasciitis of the male genitalia. What? Uh-uh. No, ma'am. Oh, no. Nope.

Don't do it. So avoid that one. I may even call this one, do not Google image for any gangrene. Please don't do. Men don't do it. It will hit you different. Yeah, so if you, by the way, if you see something like that and it's starting, don't wait. Go.

Do not pass go. Do not collect $200, whatever it is. Go right now, run, don't walk to your doctor and get it looked at because that stuff can, that can be fatal too. Yeah, I don't see how people let things linger. Like, even with this abscess in this man's mouth, like, it didn't, you didn't just wake up and it was that large, you know. It was larger than a jackball. Yeah, I love the fact that you just quit and went into something so far removed from ever having to see anything like that, never again he went into real estate again not happening yeah that cap around that story is what won the

prize you know if it was just well it's smelled bad that's nothing but to to change go 180 degrees yeah it's awesome yeah no in there an operatory please yeah if you okay so i'll tell you why there was a guy once i've told the story on this show um uh that was masturbating using a that wasn't a band saw but it was like a conveyor belt and the conveyor belt was long and it was fast

and it was, I don't know if it was in a grain silo or something like that but it was vibrating and he was rubbing his junk up against this thing and the, you know how a band works is there's a wheel and then there's a band and if you get something caught

in the bottom of the band where it's coming in they ain't no coming out until it does a full rotation and comes out at the top, right? That was his nuts. So he got his scrotum caught in this thing and it just went like that

and his testicle was ripped from his body went flying out the window and he was so embarrassed that because all he had to say was I just fell up against it you know, rip his pants and say I fell up against it but no he wasn't thinking straight

because his testicle just went flying out the window so he takes a staple gun and staples his scrotum back together and then goes about his business and five days later he's in the hospital with a scrotum that's like you know uh you know two feet wide totally full of pus of course and uh had to have a complete you know ectomy of all of his male parts because they were just rotting off yeah so don't ignore that stuff if he had just said he could have made made up any plausible story because we see people in the ER that have Coke bottles shoved up their ass and they say they sat on it.

And it's a fiction that we all will just agree, well, okay, we're going to believe it. But, you know, patients sat on a Coke bottle. Okay, can we go back to the meal parts and he loses his penis? That I'm not sure about it. Or just his crotum he lost. Scrotum and testicles he lost. He may have lost his penis too. Wow.

But he was at risk of losing it if he didn't lose it. So you don't want your penis to slough off. And by the way, that word slough is onomatopoeia, because that's what it sounds like. When it falls off, it goes sluff. So you don't want that to happen. So let's not sluff off our penises. If you have an accident like that, just go get it, check. Make up any cockamamie story.

We will pretend that we buy it and there will be no judgment. Well, there will be judgment, but nobody, not to your face. It won't be. All right. goodness so d what do you got for us today i know you had so you came you drove all the way here from nashville just to be on the show which is amazing thank you for doing that we thank you for having me i appreciate it after almost a decade it is we are i would like to look at what the date on that phone call is because i really think it's been about 10 years for real i think so because

we started this what 15 16 years ago and it was while pa john was still here so was it it was a while back yes i'm glad to finally be yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah. I like it. Thank you. Yes. Yeah, and it turns out EVEy knows or is related to somebody that D knows. Yes.

Yep. A small world. Small world. Now, is that a black thing or is it just a small world? Is it? I'm just. I think it's probably both. Both, actually.

Yeah. Yeah. In circles and, yeah. Well, no, that's cool, though. That's amazing that you guys know each other. So you need to keep in touch. Yeah. And you need to keep.

Okay. I'm going to put in a plug for one of our gigs August 1st, Rich Voss, Allendale Mansion, admission is free, that's in a little town not too far from the Weird Medicine Studios called Kingsport, Tennessee,

which is where we do all of our comedy events. And there'll be craft beer there, there will be food trucks, there'll be music, and Rich Voss. What more do you want? What more do you need? People, this is going to be our

biggest event yet for this Allendale thing. Last year we had Vic Henley and every year it gets a little bigger. We had Tim Dillon the first year because they were just trying it out and he killed. And I'm not even sure we could afford Tim now. But yeah, well, we probably could. If we could afford rich, we could have still afford Tim. Can we go backstage? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yes, of course. Yeah. And it's in the round, so there's no backstage. You can just hang out. Okay, okay, cool. But Tim drew, you know, they'd never had comedy there before. They always had just had bluegrass, and they wanted to try something different,

and they came to me because they knew that, you know, I knew some folks. So we got Tim the first year, and then the next year we had Vic, and it was even more people, and I just anticipate this thing growing. And we've got an amphitheater that'll fit 1,200 people. Okay. And if only 300 show up, which is a good-sized crowd for around here, it looks empty so I want to get a whole crap load of people to come well I will get a crap load and there you go I will see you there yeah okay awesome awesome and if you're a weird

medicine listener I have a tab and you just put your beer on my tab and everything's cool yeah for real wow I'll take care all that all right now 400 people show up I'll be hurting but I'll still do it see now where are you like you well we're married they're married like they're deep into marriage. Oh, that sucks. Yeah. Deep, deep. And scared of their wives so they ain't doing anything else.

Right. Yeah. At least you're afraid. Yeah. A lot of you live in a lot of you. Yeah, I don't think it's because we're good people. All right. So, Dee, did you, you had a medical question of some sort?

Yes. My medical question was, it was just a thought in general. I don't know if it's even specific, but what is this thing that women are doing now? with putting things in their vaginas to make their vaginas better. Yes. Now, we touched on this on the Sirius XM show, so go listen to that on demand, on Faction Talk 103. We touched on douching on that.

And we also discussed the one douche that may be okay to do is a plain yogurt douche if you have bacterial vaginosis. You need to know that you have it, though, which means you've got to get tested at least once. bacterial vaginosis is where a relatively benign but noxious bacteria called Gardnerella vaginalis takes over the vaginal flora. And what's supposed to be there is lactobacillus. And what's interesting and evidence that God has sense of humor, that's the same bacteria in plain yogurt. So the bacteria that makes yogurt yogurt is the same bacteria that makes a vagina a vagina.

It's crazy. But it's true. And so replacing the normal flora. sometimes will crowd out the bad bacteria. But you kind of need to know, yeah, okay, I'm prone to this and I have it, and so I need to do that. But some of the other stuff that we were talking about, let me hit on this before I forget, because I meant to talk about it on the last show, is menstrual extraction. So back in the 70s, I was hearing a lot about menstrual extraction, which is where women were basically getting a DNC,

we're using a much smaller catheter to remove products of mency so they didn't have to have a period every month. Now, then the change in the pill came to where you could do it around the clock and you didn't ever have to have a period, but that came much later. So back in the day, if you were on the pill,

you still had to do those seven days off of the estrogen so that you could get and you would have a period. Now, where were you hearing about this, about women vacuuming out there, vaginas. Yes, I think I honestly saw a news article that came up in my, like, one of my local stations. And it was like a local doctor speaking against it and a plastic surgeon. Yeah, don't do that. Yeah, I'm like, why would you vacuum? Well, because they think that if they,

the image they have of their periods is their vagina is just full of blood and it's just leaking out a little bit at a time. That's not how it works. The blood isn't coming from the vagina at all, and they're not actually bleeding. Well, I mean, what they're doing is sloughing off the lining of the uterus. And it's very vascular, and so there's, you know, it's red because there are blood products there. But it's not, they're not actually bleeding. They're sloughing off a tissue. And they're, if you're actually bleeding from your vagina, that's a problem, you know.

So they're thinking if they just, I guess the thinking is if they stick a vacuum up their vagina that they can just suck out all that blood. But you've got to get up to, if you know the anatomy at all, the uterus looks like a pair. Yes. And it's kind of got an opening like a pair. It's not wide. You know, the cervical oz is not wide at all. As a matter of fact, for you to get up in there, you have to dilate it.

Like this is making me squirm. Which is why they call it a dilation. curatage you've got to dilate that area first so you can get up in there you know it's really kind of you know it's big enough to pass sperm cells up there to to get to the egg that's supposedly coming from the fallopian tube by the way newsflash that's why sex was invented just so we don't flu sight of that so all this stuff is going on because it's hoping well maybe this time it's you know there's really something going on but the egg is working its way through the fallopian tube, into the uterus, and then hangs around,

and then the sperm meets somewhere in the uterus, and then there's implantation. And then you make a placenta, and hopefully not over the cervical oz. It needs to be on the side, because if it's over the cervical oz, then that's called placenta previa. And as that thing starts to enlarge what's going to happen, it rips away from the placenta, and then it bleeds, and that becomes a medical emergency. So just, you know, a little refresher for people. So, but anyway, so this is not amenable to sticking something in the vagina to suck it out.

If you really wanted to suck it out, it's got to go up into the uterus and do not, girls do not do this at home. That's a surgical procedure. You've got to be sterly prepped first and it's got to be done by someone who knows what the hell they're doing. You know, somebody's going to try that. Yeah. So here we go. So what's the downside? We're disappointed.

And this is from health.com that, you know, prestigious medical journal. We're disappointed that we have to bring this to your attention, but at least two women have recently tried to vacuum blood out of their vaginas. Well, on their period, according to a nurse on Twitter. Okay, so this isn't yet further removed. I want to find an actual thing. But, you know, ladies, please stop using your vacuum hose to end your period early.

You're going to wind up sucking out a lot more than blood. Well, okay. She's saying she had two cases of this so far this week. both women had to be admitted. What were they admitted for? It could have been prolapse of the uterus. So when you stick that in, the vacuum is very powerful. And if you're, you know, you're just going to pull the uterus down into it.

It's going to occlude the vacuum. And then if you get nervous and don't turn the vacuum off for you, you start yanking it out. You can yanking your uterus out. Oh, my gosh. And now it's going to be hanging out and you're going to have a prolapse uterus. I just can't. It's not worth it. It's not.

So if you're that all fired, if you know you're never going to have kids and you're all that all fired up about having a period, you can probably find somebody that would do a hysterectomy on you, although it's not indicated just to stop you from having a period. Right. I mean, because it's, you know, you need your hormones and. Yeah, I enjoy it. All that, you know. Yeah. I just don't understand. Maybe they just want to have sex without having to deal with the period, though.

Well, okay, so I've, in my past, I've had. I like ketchup on my french fries if you catch my bread. I have no problem with it. A lot of guys don't. The women sometimes find it gross. I have seen, well, let me say, I've heard of women that will just push the tampon up and let the guy have intercourse with them. You need to, if you do that, you cannot fall asleep and then in the morning forget that you've done that. Because now you have a vaginal foreign body that's very absorbent.

And what happens with vaginal fluids and absorbent things, they get bigger and bigger. Of course, it's going to absorb to the capacity where it can't. And then there's bacteria in there. It's a beautiful bacterial medium will grow, and now it will start stinking. And you can get toxic shocks in grow. Yes, TSS. Yeah. This is why we don't, you know, this is why I say women stop dipping your tampons in coconut oil and sticking them up in a menu.

Don't do that. Don't do that either. Yeah, if you're not on your period, please don't do that. We'll do that. Don't do that. Don't do anything. Put a penis or a tongue or maybe a finger or a toy, something like that, something that's made for intercourse and maybe plain yogurt every once in a while.

Don't put anything else in your vagina. Yanni eggs. Oh, and a Yonni egg. Yeah, yonni eggs are okay. Okay, so, yeah, and we talked about that on the Sirius XM show. Those are, you know, they're clean and you're taking them back out again. Right. You know, but yeah, we did a thing on this show where a woman, because the myth was that women could get drunk, underage girls, it was mostly, get drunk by dipping a tampon in vodka and then inserting it in their vagina.

And they were like, well, you know, we'll get drunk in the no breathalyzer because we didn't drink it. That does not work that way. The breathalyzer doesn't work just because you drank alcohol. it works because there's alcohol in your bloodstream that's being emitted from your from your bloodstream through your lungs and that's what they're detecting now if you just drank one then yes you're you're you're when you blow it's going to be high and if that ever happens to you can demand a blood test if you know you only had one and they blew it right after you drank and you do some astronomical amount demand a blood test because your blood test will be normal that that would be a false positive breathalyzer. But otherwise, if they were actually able to get drunk by putting a tampon in their vagina soaked with vodka, that would still blow on the breathalyzer because of diffusion through the alveoli of the lungs and into what you're exhaling.

Now, my argument against this was, first off, all you're getting is the surface area of the tampon, which is very small, right? Right. And I'm just imagining how this would happen. The vagina is not designed to absorb things, just the opposite. It's designed to not absorb things so that semen will go from the vagina into the uterus, right? And not be absorbed. And so that didn't make sense to me.

It's not like the colon. That colon is made to absorb fluids. So be careful with that. If you, you know, do a champagne enema like I've heard people doing. Yeah, that was my next question. You can't control the intake. When you're drinking it, you can control your intake. But if you dump a whole bottle of champagne in your colon, and it just absorbs all at once, you can get alcohol poisoning and die from that.

So do not, please don't do that. Just drink it. Don't shove it in your vagina. Don't put it under your eyelid. Don't do it as an enema. Just drink it. It's made to be drugs. It's so sad we have to say this.

I know. Is it bad? I've seen videos of frat boys taking vodka and putting it under their eyelids. Now, what is the purpose of them? Why? Because there's so much, so many capillaries there, it will absorb. But you're only absorbing a little tiny capful. I mean, if you're going to drink alcohol, just drink it. Drink responsibly.

Don't be an idiot. Don't drink and dry. Like, why do you have to chase that next thrill? Just drink it and get drunk like the rest of them. My postulate was, if you shove this vagina. What comes to mind when you picture the perfect roommate? One who comes when you call, one who doesn't forget to lock the doors, maybe one who doesn't steal your milk,

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And if you use the offer code fluid, you can get it for half off for three months. You can just go download everything. Or you can go to Dr. Steve.com. And if you look around on that front page, right on the front page, there's a link you can click on. You can buy every weird medicine podcast that's ever been done. for 30 bucks on a thumb drive and you get a 32 gig thumb drive out of it too

so but it's 30 bucks and that includes shipping and that's United States only but anyway you can listen to this show that we did but what we did was we had a volunteer and she did it we soaked it I said there's no way this is going to work and she inserted it

and we breathalized her every 10 20 minutes for an hour or two hours something like that nothing it was 0.0.0 the whole time. And she had an itchy vagina for a month. I bet. So don't do that.

This is stupid. That is dumb. Yeah, don't do that. All right. Check out stuff. Dot, Dr.steve.com. That's stuff. dot, Dr.steve.com for all of your online shopping needs.

There's a link will take you directly to Amazon. It helps us. And there's all kinds of cool products on there. If you scroll down, you can find the womanizer, which Night Nurse Evie and D may both be interested in. It's our new favorite. adult toy that's down at the bottom but there's also probiotics that we've talked about on this show stuff for hyperhydrosis or you know excess sweating anything that we've ever talked about more than once on the show is on there so go to stuff dot dr steve.com

don't forget tweaked audio.com offer code fluid for the best earbuds for the price and the best customer service anywhere and they are a tennessee business they're in franklin Tennessee. That's not too far from you, right? Not too far enough. What we might do is do a show there sometime if they'll let us because we've had a relationship with them forever and then maybe we could meet up there. That'd be cool. Absolutely.

Yeah. And simple, oh, and you got okay, so tell me something. Hot chicken. This stuff they got at Kentucky Fried, no, right? You're shaking your head. So we've got to go to princes. You have to go to princes. You have to go to 400 degrees.

Is it going to burn my ass off? It could potentially burn your ass off. Are they going to laugh at me if I say, can I have mild, please? No. No, really, okay. I've been eating hot chicken since I was a toddler, and I get mild. You do get mild? I still get mild, yeah.

I'll get a couple of pieces of the crazy odd, because I can deal with it. You say that. Yeah, yeah. Let's see. Okay, okay. Let's go ahead. Let's buy God see then. I'll see you in Nashville.

Had I known, I would have brought it with me this time. I wouldn't eat it because I'm a weird germ freak. I'm a chicken that sat out long enough, but I'm just weird that way. But you have to do it. But let's do it. I'll be in Nashville, September 27th. Drinks are on me if you guys want to come to the Bobby Hotel after the King Crimson concert, because that's what I'm going to be there for a medical meeting, and I'm going to King Crimson.

And then Bobby's got a rooftop bar, and it'll be Friday night, so, you know, drinks are on me. so all right I'll be there and then but that afternoon if you're free maybe we could go

to Prince's hot check it out I will make myself free for you I will make the pilgrimage to Mecca so there's another place 400 degrees it's called 400 degrees it's called

400 degrees it is similar and just I can't tell you it's just like KFC this other stuff that you get in

these restaurants it's just not it it's the crust it is you have to walk in you have to see and smell the grease in the air I live

in New Orleans, so I understand the whole... Cast our skillet. Yes. Yeah. Proper seasoning. I love New Orleans. Yeah, me too. Yeah.

Me too. I fell in love in New Orleans. I did, for real. Oh, yeah. When I was a kid, New Orleans was just a place I could drink under age. You know, I was 17. I was drinking all up and down that, you know, bourbon street and stuff. But later on, I realized what I'd missed out on, which was the Louisiana cuisine.

I mean, I didn't miss out on it. It was just part of our life. I didn't realize how special it was until I left there, and then it's like, you can't get this anywhere else. Then Chef Paul came out, and Emeril, who is kind of an interloper, but still, he's got some street cred just because he's, you know, devoted his life to it. But Chef Paul was the real deal. And I used to go to, what was the Creole place down there? Oh, damn it, if you could say the name. I can't, well, anyway.

So I fancy myself a Cajun or in Creole chef. I cook Louisiana cuisine. I've cooked. I've made my own boudan. Oh. My gumbo is I will put it up against anybody's. And I mean anybody's, and I'm including Chef Paul, who is no longer with us. But you heard me, Amroll, I'll put my gumbo up against yours.

And a blind taste test, mine will not be a failure. Oh, okay. Can you make some? I was going to. I need to. I haven't made it in a long time. I can make et tufei. I make barbecue shrimp, which doesn't even get close to a barbecue. Never understood why they call it barbecue shrimp. Okay. So, see, we should have had this today. What is we're all married? But, yeah, we'll do that sometime. For real.

Yeah, let's do it. But anyway, but I understand the whole going to a place and getting the full experience. So even, you know, for you. I would have eaten it anyway because, you know, and it really has to do with I'm just a weirdo on foodborne illnesses and I know chicken is just, oh. It is. But you can't come to the cook out then. No, I can, though.

She does what of it. I'm not so crazy. Because we like, it can sit out all day. Yeah, it can sit out all day. We're still going to eat it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're fine. Yeah.

You're fine. If it's actually, if it's cooked all the way, it's the eggs that sit out, that they're the problem. and raw, uncooked chicken, all of it in this country. 100% of it has salmonella. It's just a known fact. And by the way, folks, don't wash your chicken off in the sink. I just can't do that.

I have been struggling with that. I've been struggling with this. So let me tell you my method that I feel good. And I'm not salmonellaing in my whole kitchen. I have this little colander, it's a little plastic one that I keep only for my chicken. Okay. And so I will put the water in the sink. I put the chicken in there.

And then I drain the sink and then I spray the top of it very lightly. And then I cloraxed that whole situation after I'm done with everything. When you're done. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, like, I feel like I'm not splashing. If you're not splashing, you're okay. No, I'm absolutely not slashing. But people, what they're doing is they're taking the spray thing.

Oh, no, no, no. And they're spraying off their chicken holding it in their hand. And salmonella just going everywhere. It does nothing really to wash your chest. if you're going to cook it all the way. If you had, you know, like we did, Grandmother, Big Mama, you wash your chicken. Yeah. We don't wash it.

I get it. Just put in the sink and wash it. Yeah. Washing it's fine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no, I don't do that. But then I don't do that with anything, though, most things.

Like, it's just because I don't want anything going out of the food. You know, and I teach my kids, you know, just you have to have sterile technique. And if it touched the counter, the counter's got to be clean. If it touched your hands, your hand's got to be clean for you. If you're going to suvee it. because I suveed chicken, that's really tricky because if the raw chicken touches the outside of the suvide,

you know what I'm talking about? If it touches the outside of the suvied bag, well, now it's... Everything is contaminated. Because the suvied, it's going to be up above the heat, and then the heat itself is only at 130 degrees and going to kill it. Right.

So, and now people, I hear people saying, well, you're only cooking it chicken to 130 degrees. That's not safe. It's totally safe if you're suvading, if you do it right. So for people who do it right, so. don't know. Suvied, it means under vacuum, is a way to cook meat and other things at lower temperatures than you normally would by vacuum sealing it and putting it in a circulating water

bath. Now, I've seen these crock pots, they sell as suvied things and they don't circulate. They're not suvied. It's got to circulate so that the temperature is always constant. And when you do that, the reason we cook chicken to 160 degrees is because it's insta-kill. So if you get it to 160 degrees, every bacterium dies. If there were any left, when it touches 160, they're all dead. With the suvied, you cook it for 90 minutes, 120 minutes, maybe even longer. You can go four hours with this stuff. And it's like pasteurizing.

You're not bringing it up to that insta-kill temperature, but you're leaving it at that temperature long enough to kill everything. And then the texture is totally different. Suvied chicken is completely different than something that you've brought up to 160 degrees. Yeah. But you're in the hotel business, so you understand Suveen. Yes. I've, I've been in food and beverage now for, sheesh, probably shortly after that call.

Oh, is that right, right. So you did real estate for a while and then went into food and beverage. Yeah, I've been in food and beverage. Yeah, so you understand that. But, yeah, the cool thing about Suvied is in a restaurant, you can throw all this stuff in there and you can leave it in four or five hours and it won't change it. And then when you're ready to cook it, you just pull it out and it's cooked and you just throw it on the grill. or whatever you're going to do with it. But anyway, but yeah, then that's a problem.

If you touch the outside of the suede bag, you've got salmonella now on the outside. So raw chicken and undercooked chicken is something to be respected. I can't really people actually eat undercooked chicken. No, I don't do that. They kick it purposely like that. No, I don't do that. No, I would never.

I can't. And if anyone ever suggested it, then I wouldn't eat anything from them. Right, right, right. Right, chicken tartar, I'm not doing. Pork tartar I'm not doing. Although they say now the pork in this country is so safe, you could actually eat it raw. I don't eat pork. Yeah, well, I don't either.

My body doesn't like it. But, yeah, it used to be, you know, you had to cook it all the way through because of different parasites and stuff. And they're saying, yeah, it's not an issue. But I've heard chefs say that I'm still leery just because of years of it. Anyway, all right. By the way, I hit my ideal body weight. I had somebody cussed me out on voicemail because I only weigh 155. He said, you're skinny and you're just a bunch of bones walking around, all this.

Whatever. I'm at my ideal body weight for the first time since college. And I did it using Noom, N-O-M, the N-M app. Go to Noom. Dottersteve.com. If you want to get two free weeks and 20% off, it's already cheaper. I shouldn't say cheaper. It's less expensive than weight watchers by far.

And Weight Watchers, you've got to do forever. Noom's not a diet. There are no points. None of that. It is a psychology app that helps you change your relationship with food. And look, I'll be the first. This can't be for everybody because nothing is. But it's the best thing I've ever done.

Never been able to sustain this kind of weight loss as long as I have. I did. You look fabulous, by the way. Thank you. Thank you. so do you thank you working on it what is it

oh my gosh what I'm getting so old I did the keto keto yeah and I'm still doing keto you can do keto on noon and I walk

I incline walk around sure my neighborhood for like an hour and a lot of minutes no activity eating I mean eating right all those things

no one of the modules is taking you through paleo taking you through keto Mediterranean South Beach, all this stuff they're saying, all of this is fine. If there was one correct diet, we would know it already. Right, right. What's correct is going to be what works for you, and that helps mitigate risk.

You want to mitigate risk. We want to decrease our chance of having diabetes and heart attacks and stroke and cancer and stuff like that. So we know that eating fresh fruits and vegetables does that. And we want to maintain our ideal body weight for a lot of different raises. and but other than that how you get there doesn't really matter right you know I like meal prep I'm meal prep so it helps me yeah I did get off drubbed off the bandway a little bit because I was you know keeping children and yeah you know all over the place but I'm back mine is my schedule that's been

a thing for me to get past like I'm I'm a night person so I really work 11 p.m. to like six in the morning but then some days I might have to work two to 10 somewhere else yeah or if I have a gig you know just so it's all over the place weekends are hard for me because my schedule is different when i'm working it's real easy to eat an apple in the morning and then i get my subway salad or whatever salad for lunch and then i come home and cook and have well and then sometimes i'll do this freshly i might as well get another plug in well just mix the plugs in with what we're talking um yeah i used to do blue apron and that was great and um we still love it and then i did terrace kitchen for a while where they prepped everything for you

and then I just got lazier and shit and just said, well, hell, I'm just have somebody cook for me, so then I went to Freshly and all that stuff's already pre-cooked. How is that? It's good. It's actually good. They have a steak that I get every single week from them. It's steak and potatoes and, you know, it's standard,

but it's perfectly cooked, it's real tender. I mean, it's good. And we actually look forward to it. You can get $40 off freshly and who deliver fresh prepared meals that make eating right super easy. Use my link. to get six dinners for $39 for two weeks, and that's $20 off each week.

Give it a try and let me know what you think. It's freshly.com. I'll just take you right there. That's freshly.com. And that's it for the plugs. Oh, don't forget Dr. Scott's website. He's not here today, simply herbals.net. Anyway, we had something else, though,

that we talked about, that we need to talk about? Curvatures. Curvatureization. Oh, curvature. Okay, so, yeah, Nightnerce Evie had this, she had an encounter with a guy with a curved penis. Yes. Now, the question I would ask you was,

did he have a sharp band that was painful, or was it just a gentle curve? He was a gentle curve. Okay. Because the sharp band is caused by a disease, or a condition called Peroni's disease. And that's where it usually happens during vigorous intercourse. often when the woman is on top

and the man doesn't have control over the thrusting and she thrust down when his penis maybe only semi-erect and hits it just at the wrong angle and bends the penis and they can sometimes break it absolutely that can happen

or sometimes they'll just bend it and when they bend it causes a crease the crease causes inflammation the inflammation causes scarring and what happens with scarring scar tissue is not as elastic as the sheath of the penis.

And so when it's not elastic, when it becomes erect, it's going to curve in the direction of that scar. Okay. And it can be, that requires treatment by a urologist if it's severe enough. But a gentle curvature. It's nice. It's nice. And some guys are.

I haven't had a gentle curf. I'm sorry. Go ahead. Yeah, no, no. No, no. No, you talk. That's much more interesting. What you were getting ready to say.

But having a gentle curvature is. actually good for the woman as well, because if you have a perfectly straight cylindrical penis, right, it's going to touch whatever it touches on the way in, right? It'll do whatever it do. But if it's curved, you're going to get a little bit on the left. Let's say it's curved to the left. You'll get a little bit on the left when it's going in. And then as it thrust in, you're going to get a little bit on the right. And then it's going to curve back again. You're going get a little bit on the left as well. So you'll actually get a sensation of more girth when you've got a man with

that has a slightly curved penis. Okay. Can I get an A man? Okay, so then my question. Give yourself a bill. That's the closest thing I've got to an A man. So the same way, like, the impact can cause a bend. Yes.

What if, like, because I was with someone and their penis was kind of curved like and like twist it almost like an egg noodle. I'm not being funny. Yeah. Pig penises are corkscrew. Okay. Yeah, kind of like a corkscrew. Yeah.

Interesting. And so, you know, it was okay until I was like mad one day and then it was not okay. And I joked on it. But like, is that a thing? Does that happen from like playing with it or like how does it happen? Because it just looked really funny. That's interesting. I have not seen more than.

I haven't seen a whole lot of our, we don't, in medicine you don't see a whole lot of erect. penises unless it's someone that's got a priapism, you know, and then you're sticking needles in their erect penis to make it go away. So, but think of it this way. So I see a lot of people with chemo, and their hair falls out, depending on the chemo that they take. And when their hair grows back, if they had straight hair like I do, it grows back curly. And you go, well, how in the hell can that happen?

Well, here's why. straight hair like mine has a round follicle it's perfectly round mine so ridiculously straight my follicles are perfectly round uh have you ever taken and i know you have a ribbon and you go and you and you strip one end of it with with scissors okay and the reason that curls that ribbon is because now one side of that ribbon is longer than the other side you've stretched it and so it has to curl to attain the same length right okay Because they both, in the end, have to be the bottom and the top got to be the same length. So it's got no choice but to curve.

So when people lose their hair from chemo, the follicles empty out. I mean, it's not like they're shaving. It's gone. And then when it grows back, the follicle relaxes. And now it's no longer round. It's ovoid. And when they do that, one side's going to grow faster than the other. It's just how it is.

It's never going to grow perfectly. So you'll get really curly hair. Oh, wow. And so this guy's penis, one side of his penis was shorter than the other. That's the only way that that can happen. So he either had a trauma that stretched one side or he had another trauma that slightly scarred down the other side. So that now when it's erect, it has to become erect in a corkscrew fashion. That is it.

Yeah, it was. I wish she got a picture. I, you know. Or a mold. Let me think. I might have a picture. Let me think on that. Yeah.

Yeah, it was strange, but okay. And while we're on that, penile neuropathy. Yes. Okay. Let's talk about that. What's the context of the question? Going just totally limp while you're in the act of having sex. Okay.

So that's a form of erectile dysfunction. So some men have difficulty achieving an erection at all, and other men have difficulty maintaining an erection. And so when you're able to achieve it, that means you get enough blood flow, but you may not be able to keep it. So that can be a bunch

of different things. It could be a neuropathy in the sense that he's not getting enough stimulus to the spinal column to continue the erection. Okay? And get himself to completion because maintaining or achieving

an erection, you can do that visually. Sometimes just looking at something, but to maintain it, you kind of have to have contact. And if he's not getting a good sensation to the spinal column, he could lose his erection. That's one way. Another way is he just doesn't have good blood flow, in which case, Cialis or Viagra would be the answer for him. He should also get his testosterone checked because men who have difficulty maintaining an erection may have low testosterone. 95% of men who have low testosterone never know it.

Oh, wow. And sometimes that's the only clue they have, so he needs to get that checked. Because if that's what it is and he gets that normalized, he'll be fine. Okay. And then the third thing is just psychology. You know, performance anxiety is a killer. Oh, I've suffered from that myself. And again, the Seattle is just giving you that boost of confidence, knowing that no matter what happens,

you're going to get an erection that's going to look like a hot dog, a ballpark Frank in a microwave. That's not my description. I think that's Craig Pick's sentence. But, yeah, if you know you're going to get that, no matter what, it gives you the confidence, you don't lose your erection after that. Interesting. So anyway, well, we're out of time. This has been awesome having you guys here.

We got to talk about a bunch of different stuff. We didn't take any voicemail calls, did we? No. All right. Well, that's all right. That's good, then. Yeah. Check out premium.com where you can get this show.

Don't forget Stuff.com. Dr. Steve.com. Dee, you want to plug your Facebook? You don't have to. Sure. On Instagram, I'm On the Rocks, B-N-A. Instagram and Twitter. And, yeah, that's pretty much it.

Yeah, she's very entertaining. Okay. And, Eby, you're not on any of that stuff, are you? I am, but I am. You ain't going to put it in. Okay. Y'all know too much about my life. This has been great, Dr. Steve.

Yeah, well, thanks for coming. It was great seeing you. And thanks for doing two shows, whether we've got to do it. again, and I got some insight on some stuff today, too, that I won You were not prepared. No, I just went in a direction. I won, particularly the Sirius XM

show, and I did learn some things today, so thank you both. Made me rethink some things. Thank you. We can't... So thanks, Evie, and Dee. We can't forget Rob Sprantz, Bob Kelly, Greg Hughes. Oh, I've only got 23 seconds. Anthony Coombeer, Jim Norton, Travis Tev, Lewis, Johnson, Paulof, Charsky, Eric

Nagel, Roland Campo, Sam Roberts, Pat Duffy, Dennis, Falcone, Ron Bennington, and Fiswildew, who's early support of the show never goes on appreciated. Until next time, check your stupid nuts for lumps, quit smoking, get off your ass and get some exercise. We'll see you in one week for the next edition of Weird Medicine.