Weird Medicine: The Podcast - 381 - Urinal Birthday Cake

Episode Date: November 8, 2019

Dr Steve and Dr Scott discuss cleaning and workplace chemical toxicity (or lack thereof), genital piercings, the causes of B.O., and more! PLEASE VISIT: stuff.doctorsteve.com (for all your online shopping needs!) simplyherbals.net (Dr Scott’s nasal rinse is here!) noom.doctorsteve.com (lose weight, gain you-know-what) tweakedaudio.com offer code “FLUID” (best CS anywhere) premium.doctorsteve.com (all this can be yours!)   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Weird Medicine with Dr. Steve on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. I need some touch it. Yo-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-he-haired. I've got diphtheria crushing my esophagus. I've got Tobolivir from my nose. I've got the leprosy of the heartbound, exacerbating my impetable woes. I want to take my brain now, blast with the wave. an ultrasonic, agoraphic and a pulsating shave.

I want a magic pill. All my ailments, the health equivalent of citizen cane. And if I don't get it now in the tablet, I think I'm doomed, then I'll have to go insane. I want to requiem for my disease. So I'm paging Dr. Steve. Dr. Steve. No, he'll take a California. It's weird medicine, the first and still only uncensored medical show in the history broadcast radio.

Now a podcast. I'm Dr. Steve with my little pal, Dr. Scott. traditional Chinese medical practitioner who keeps the alternative medicine wackos at bay. Hello, Dr. Scott. Hey, Dr. Steve. This is a show for people who would never listen to a medical show on the radio or the internet. If you've got a question, you're embarrassed to take to your regular medical provider. If you can't find an answer anywhere else, give us a call at 347-7-6-3-2-3-2-7.

If you're listening to us live, the number 754-227-3-6-47, follow us on Twitter at Weird Medicine at DR Scott WM. And if Lady Diagnosis ever comes back, you can follow her too. to visit our website at Dr. Steve.com for podcast, medical news and stuff you can buy or go to our merchandise store at cafepress.com slash weird medicine. Most importantly, we are not your medical providers. Take everything you hear with a grain of salt. Don't act on anything you hear on the show without talking to it over with your doctor, nurse practitioner, physician, physician, physician, physician, physician, physician, physician, physician, physician, physician, physician, physician, physician, or whatever. All right, very good. Jeez.

It's longer all the time. I love it. Don't forget to check out stuff. Dot, Dr.steve.com. That's stuff. dot, Dr.steve.com. The holidays are coming. If you go there, everything we were talked about on the show that you could buy, say,

at Amazon will be there, just scroll down. Or you can just click through. And just clicking through is advantageous. So it doesn't cost you anything. It helps us out a lot. So if you're going to do some holiday shopping, start at stuff. dot dr steve.com best stocking stuffers in the world

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Yeah, yes. A dilettante would be the other term for that. Yes. But anyway. A selective vegan. He likes to feel good about himself, but not always. I've seen him blowing down on a big old meat sandwich before, too. I was like, what the hell?

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So there's premium.com. If you want to go and just listen to Dr. Scott's singing the first time he ever sang, and GVAC and I were both cringing, you can go to premium.com. get premium access for a buck 99 use offer code fluid you get it for a buck for three months and then you can go back and listen to the show called semi sweet melissa see i'm using that to sell our show dr scott so that's a good thing it's worth it's worth of money you can hear one of the maybe the most cringiest thing and i can only say that now because he doesn't sound like that anymore and we're going to prove it today we're going to do a song that was a request from some

is she a listener yeah she's a listener podcast listening down and she contacted you and Not me. Yeah, well, she did because she thinks I'm cute, you know. You know how that is. Okay. No, she actually bought some stress less. She went to simply herbals and got her some stuff. Oh, okay.

So you're out of nasal spray, though, right? We are right now. Yeah, it should be in this, hopefully next week. I've had people complaining to me. Oh, really? So it'll be in next week. Yeah, it should be. Because you're...

We'll have an update on the website. Your assistant told me, oh, no. No, we can't get it anymore. And I'm like, what, it's peppermint. No, no. And saline. Yeah, we're going to. You need to tell her.

She needs to, okay, anyway. You know, she is. No, I don't. She's nuts. Okay. But she tells me wrong things. She's telling other people wrong things that you're trying to buy stuff and they go somewhere else, but all they got to do is wait a week.

Right. By the time they hear this, it'll be a week away, right? Yeah, yeah. That'd be about right. Okay. All right. Yeah, so check. And that's at simply herbals.

Right on. And where, oh, so. I loaded all of these shows up on Dropbox. So I've got the Dropbox Pro. Yeah. So I have 2 terabytes of Dropbox. So if you, rather than sending me $30 and getting a thumb drive, because I did this because this guy from Saudi Arabia, you know, he sent us the 30 bucks and I'm packaging his thing up. And then I notice, oh gosh, this guy's in Saudi.

How much is this going to cost? The shipping was 60. Just to ship this little envelope with a thumb drive. And I said, dude, I'm going to refund your money. I'm going to put it up on my drop box. If you have Dropbox, then for $20, you can just have access to that folder, and it's got everything in it. So I will put that up on the website before tonight. So you'll have two alternatives.

You can do $30 and get a thumb drive shipped to your door, or you can do $20. Maybe it'll be $25. I don't know. It's worth 10 times that. But anyway, for 20 bucks, you can get access to the Dropbox for like 10 days or something. So you can just download it all. All right. Because I don't want to have 100 people that have access to that one folder.

It seems like that would be a problem with Dropbox. I don't know. Maybe not. If there's a Dropbox expert out there. Because that way I could just keep adding to it. But anyway, do that. We're nine minutes in and haven't taken a single phone call yet. I mean, I'm sure it's been very entertaining.

but first though we need to address our missing partner he was sick last week and they were in the emergency room yesterday oh no wait a minute he just texted me and he texted me lazy ass mangers I think he means managers okay he's at work it says don't think I'm going to make it they won't let me eff and leave and then he puts lazy ass mangers so that's the close the rock star Okay, so he was sick last week and couldn't make it. Now, he's new to the show. Yes. You know, you think, well, you know.

He'd tuff it out. You show up. He'd tuff it out. He would show up. But then they were in the emergency room last night. I don't know. He was or she was? They were.

Who knows? So. I'm sure we'll find out. I've been dying to, so we can still play his theme music. Yes. Because it applies. So this is Dr. Scott and Cody Gilmer from Indie Ghost. our newest member of our little family, his theme music.

Born with a deviated septal heart, had my first hymn abhorred before I could fart. Had every ailment from herpes to VD and my prostate exam made me have to pee. Cody, Cody. Cody. for the king of the hypochondrients. You're listening to Weird Medicine with you're listening.

Scary. I'll tell you. There you go. That's good stuff. I hit about 10 wrong buttons in there. Very technically challenged. Oh, geez. So we've been doing this 15 years.

That's right. Hey, that still can't get it right. That's got to win some kind of... You know, I thought, though, after... Every time he comes, he's got something different, so we had to... I know. That's great. That was so funny.

Last time he was here, we were like, well, what's wrong with this time? And he's like, well, this week, Dr. Steve, as if he had prepared a topic. Hilarious. It's pretty good stuff. Because he actually had something. Yeah. Anyway, check out Dr. Scott's website. It's simplyerbils.net.

Simplyurbles.net. If you don't... If you're challenged in the old spelling department, it's like simply herballs.net with only one L. And check us out at Dr. Steve.com. You can check out our podcast there and some other stuff like that. And there you go. So a couple of things. Wait a minute.

Now, you're going to music camp next week. Yep. Going to band camp. Fired up. So we were talking the other day why we started doing music on the show. And it was really because GVAC was a wonderful musician. Yes. And he and I would play.

And then Scott would just sit there and go, well, you know, what am I supposed to do? So he started singing. Yes. Strike one. We really need to play. Maybe in the future. Let me, we've got to work a couple more times on getting that song and dialed in. Okay.

Because Scott, that's the one way I can get him to leave the room is to play his first time singing on this show, which was a song by the Almond Brothers called, it's actually not called Sweet Melissa, right? It's called Melissa, yeah. It's just called Melissa. And, but anyway, Scott was, and Genevac and I both were like, dude, you have this great speaking voice.

I mean, listen to this guy. I'm supposed to be the radio guy, but Scott's got the voice. And then when he would sing, he would go like this and that. That was horrible. How do you? Oh, got terrible.

It was not good. It was horrible. And so GVAC, more GVAC than me, but to a less than extent, me, because I was around, started working with Scott because he really wanted to play music. So for a while there, he was just a guy that owned a mandolin. Now he's taking lessons and he's going to some damn, you know, music camp. Music, advanced music camp. And he's actually, you know, almost a musician at this point. I'm working on it.

I'm not horrible anymore. I'm just bad. And I bought him voice lessons and it's better. It helped. It helped a little bit. It's helped a little bit. It's helped a little bit. And maybe in the future when I'm not here one weekend, y'all can play this.

The old deal, semi-sweet. No, you have to be here. The semi-sweet. Look, if you want to hear it, this is worth it. You go to premium.com and I think it's like a buck-99, but use the offer code fluid, FLU-I-D, and you get it for a buck, and then just for a dollar, and then cancel it if you don't want it. And go back and listen to the show called semi-sweet in the list. It was an, oh, man. That's the only thing that I can get Scott to just walk.

That's right. I can walk the room is if he. GVag, GVac used to look at me like, what in the hell are you doing? And he'd be just sitting there playing. But anyway, so we continued it once GVAC died, we decided we were going to continue to play. We kind of in his memory. So every time we play in this studio, we think of him. Absolutely.

And we know that he's laughing at Scott. And miss him terribly, yes. Yes. Yes. I wish he was here to play some really loud guitar over my voice. That's true. That's what I wish. Yeah. Improper use of the subjunctive clause, but we are a case, but we knew what you meant. Yes. All right. You want to take some phone calls? Yeah, let's do it. Okay. Number one thing. Don't take advice from some asshole on the radio. Okay, fair enough. I think that's a fair thing to say. And we still have our co-host. When you guys weren't here, I had my co-host.

How long have you had that thing? This one we've had about 10 years, but we've got three other ones. Okay. So we put them all out when these kids come up, all three of, all four of these skulls, these screaming skulls just start laughing at them. It's pretty funny. Anyway, all right. Let's see what we got here.

Dr. Steve, we've got this new janitor at work, and he puts these chemicals. in the urinal and the toilets and stuff. And I guess he scrubbed it down, but he doesn't flush it. So when I go in there and take a leak and all I get is these noxious fumes that come up. And it's kind of overwhelming. And I don't know what it, you know, what in the urine can cause that. The urine.

I'm just wondering if this is bad or if I should have a talk with them. And just wondering how bad it is. Well, okay, yeah, no, it's a great question, and thanks for calling in. The American Lung Association says that a lot of cleaning supplies or household products can irritate the eyes and throat, cause headaches and other health problems, including cancer. Oh, no. Some products release dangerous chemicals, including volatile organic compounds. Other harmful ingredients include ammonia and bleach. By the way, don't ever mix ammonia in bleach.

No. Because it releases deadly chlorine gas, which I almost killed myself with when I was in seventh grade just farting around mixing chemicals together with no. You know, they used to give you these chemistry sets. And I used to just mix everything together. You know, you're supposed to do experiments with them, but it was like, F, this thing. I'd throw the manual away and just mix everything together and see what would happen. And then I start mixing household chemicals together. and my mom had bleach and ammonia, and it fizzes up, you know,

and it releases from the, so bleach is sodium hypochlorite. And I'm not 100% sure what the reaction is. I was an organic chemist before I went to medical school, so I should know. Well, hell, let's look it up. That's the chemical reaction of bleach and ammonia. Yeah, there we go. So, but it releases elemental chlorine.

Okay. And elemental chlorine is like what they used in World War I to scar people's lungs in the trenches. Don't, nothing. They're using some of those in some of the chemical warfare now, aren't they? The chemical, the elemental chlorine. Yeah, it turns out, okay, so it's not elemental chlorine. It's chloramine fume. So that makes more sense.

So what happens is the chlorine ions from the hypochloric sodium hypochlorite decompose to hydrochloric acid, and that reacts with ammonia to make, to take one of the hydrogens off the ammonia and attach a chlorine to it. And then that makes chloramine fumes, and that's not good. And chloramine is a vapor and it's very toxic to the lungs. So, yeah, that's interesting. Well, how about that? I always thought, well, I know what elemental chlorine smells like because I remember getting that, but it really just sticks in your throat and in your upper, in your mucus membranes. It stings like crazy, and it's not fun to breathe.

I remember running out of that basement pretty damn quickly because it filled up with this stuff. Yeah, it was not good. So anyway, now, in the workplace, these chemicals are, supposed to be vetted, and they should have an OSHA sheet on all these chemicals that say what they can do and what... Material safety data sheet. Thank you, there you go. That's right.

You're going to get one of these. I wasn't going to go so... Give yourself a bill? I wasn't going to go so deep. But, yeah, as for the material safety data sheet on the things that they're using, some of them may be totally non-toxic. And the other thing is, you can flush. Yeah.

If he isn't flushing and you want to piss because it's not the urine that's reacting with it. The urine is just causing it to splash up and aerate and then it's becoming, you know, a vapor and you're inhaling it. But as for that, MSDS. Thank you. MSDS. Just say, hey, dude, can I have the MSDS on those cleaning supplies? And they'll have to supply you with it. Yeah, they do.

And if they don't, for whatever reason, have them because, I mean, we've, violated OSHA up one side and down the other when we first opened the beer store. Now that it's closed, I can say that. But if they don't have it, at least just get the bottle, look at the stuff, and then you can look up the safety sheet on all those chemicals. And see, now, if they're using something that's a known carcinogen, you can lobby your employer to say, would they need to get something else? Because there are non-toxic cleaners as well.

Sure. Make sure that he is using one that's approved and not just want to use. went over to the that's right to the local storm purchase for 99 cents a gallon you know let me see there's nothing else

but yeah if you come up to a urinal and it's full of blue liquid just flush it you know step away and flush it the same thing with the toilet go ahead and flush it and then then you're pissing into crystal clear water those little

urinal cakes let's look at urinal cakes cake toxicity. So, urinal. You'd think that I didn't know what these calls were, but then I, you know, I get distracted. I start thinking of something I didn't think of before. And it says, you really shouldn't snack on urinal cakes. Okay, well, really.

There's probably some people. The women who are listening don't know what the hell we're talking about. No. But it's, they throw it in the urinal to take care of it. of the smell, mostly because most urinals don't fully fill up with water, and which is smart. You don't want to waste water flushing water, what is 99.9% water down the toilet, you know, so these things, they don't fill up with water completely, so they don't have a gas

trap that's like a toilet does. and you know a toilet is full of water and so that keeps the gas from the pipes that's full of fecal matter and urine and stuff from you know those fumes leaking back into the environment and those traps that's right a urinal doesn't really have that

a lot of them don't anyway and the ones that do shouldn't because you really again don't want to waste water flushing water into the sewage system just let gravity do it but anyway so then they put these urinal cakes in there just to mask the smell. That's what that's for.

So the ingredient in most urinal cakes, okay, here's one for you to look up, Dr. Scott. Look up the safety of para p.Arilychlorobenzene. So benzene now in its just raw form is one of those things we worry about in organic labs. If we get these benzene compounds or benzene molecules where we've attached things that you know, whether they cause lymphoma or not.

But let me see. For those who want to get a whiff of it, but aren't willing to stick their head in a urinal to do so, it's a substance also found in mothballs. Mothballs tend to either contain parodichlorobenzene or naphthalene. Regular mothball smell is naphthalene. It says naphthalene is more deadly when eaten. Dang.

That's not to say parodichlorobenzene is a walk in the park. anyone boneheaded enough to snack on a urinal? Well, why would you? First, it's covered in piss. Okay, so let's say they take it out of the package. Ooh, this looks tasty. Or it's a, you know, it's a zombie apocalypse, and all you know is it just has cake on it.

And so you open it up and take a bite. They can look forward to dizziness, nausea, and diarrhea at the very least. The ingredient is carcinogenic to animals, though no human studies have been done. What'd you find? It is, there is a, there is a, since it is a, a form of chlorine it is toxic and it's also found in mothballs right just yes very good give yourself a bill i just literally just said that i know i know i was trying to read the that's okay

yeah yeah the toxic levels but naphthalene is the main ingredient in mothballs but i guess there are some mouthballs that have this stuff so what did it say about the safety oh it just said don't eat it okay geez right i'm just reading you what no i know i know yeah they said don't don't ingest it in any way. So this prolonged exposure may have nasty effects on the central nervous system, stuff like that. It's neurotoxic. So, but now that's what prolonged exposure does when you eat it. What does it do in a urinal?

Any object which urine is regularly deposited will be populated by urine eating bacteria when left to their own devices. These bacteria put out ammonia, which contributes to a lot of the smell that stale urine gives off. Parachlorobenzene doesn't kill all the bacteria, but it does disrupt the ability of these bacteria to produce ammonia. Well, isn't that interesting? That's a good thing because ammonia and parodiclorobenzene don't mix well. According to an old scientific journal, heating parodiclorobenzane with ammonia and copper salts makes paraffinylene diamine. This substance was used in 1920s in processing of rubber. It was considered extremely poisonous.

Today we use it in a hair dye, though we suspect it still might be dangerously poisonous and lead to renal and respiratory fat. Well, a lot of this has to do with the context. dose? Is it cumulative? How are you taking it? You know, skin absorption will be totally different than absorption from the GI tract. Just don't eat stuff that isn't labeled food. Don't lick it. But anyway, so you can look up the safety of the materials that they're using, and that's very difficult for me to say. Now, one thing I'm interested in is, is there any toxicity in those urinal? So I haven't seen the urinal cake so many. so, so often recently.

But I have been seeing these rubber things that smell. Almost, yeah. Those little rubber-looking matte things. Let's see what's in those damn things. I've always been wondering about that. That's got to be the same thing. You think? I would think.

Okay, Bella Matt. Okay, let me see. Green smart technology treated with a non-toxic, oh, and now I've got to click on it to get there. Non-toxic antimicrobial agent with a health rating of one. made disposable antimicrobial urinal floor mats oh this is a urinal floor mat I want the urinal mat let's see here urinal urinal deodorizer block well shit okay is there a safe alternative to channel blocks and urinal cake so oh authorities in New York have apparently let me see here ah shit sorry everybody

outside thought I had something interesting Squirrel, Dr. Steve saw the squirrel. Well, you know, that's right. You could be helping me look this fucking shit up. No, hell, because then you'll say something I won't hear it. I'll say something similar. It's like, oh, shit. Okay, here's some urinal screens.

There you go. Odor absorbers. Okay, look that one. I got you. I'm on. I'm on. So urinal screen. Cucumber melon fragrance, anti-splash urinal screen.

That's the other thing. These things are flexible. and they just throw them in there and they've got little holes in them and what happens in when you piss on these, it will disperse the urine, the force of the urine flow and deflect it in a bunch of different directions

so it doesn't just splash back at you. Because if you're pissing against a piece of porcelain, it's just going to splash back. So look up the cucumber melon fragrance, anti-splash urinal screen, and then just put toxicity. I'm working on it. I can buy these on Amazon.

Yeah. yeah you can go to stuff oh my god there's a thousand of these damn things holy shit don't look at it on amazon though they're not going to tell you oh but i want to how much they are oh for god's sake all right hang on i'm working on a squirrel but i got squirrel now

okay you uh look at that up and when you come back to it i'll play this one got you hey dr steve jesse and phoenix hey man uh you would uh mentioned about a prince albert piercing and what do the women think of it yes okay so we were discussing penile piercings and there are some that go through the glands and come out the urethra the urethral meatus which by the way is spelled metis and that's hilarious but it's meatus yeah i aka the cockhole

and i was just wondering what in the world do women think about this because i got to be honest with I'm not, although I can't say from personal experience, because this happened since I was on the market, but I have not been a huge fan of nipple piercings. First, it looks like it hurt when it went in. I don't want anything to ever hurt a female nipple, just, you know, because I think they're awesome. But also, I don't want that thing clinking around on my teeth when I'm down there licking, you know, licking a tit. and maybe that's why they're there. So, you know, keep your stupid, stupid mouth up. I nipple, you know, because you're not, you're not eight months old.

Maybe that's what it is. But, you know, just having that thing clinking around on my teeth doesn't seem appealing to me. But I've never been with anybody. So it might be a huge turn-off. I have an open mind. I just know what I, what my experience is. And I've not been experienced with that. And it's not a real turn-on to see it.

So I wanted to know what women think of, these penile piercings, particularly like double vasectomy turd had a series of rings over the dorsum of his shaft. And he used to talk about when he was driving and he'd wear that stupid kilt and he'd reach up there and just be playing around with his rings while he's driving. It's like that image just makes me physically ill. Well, you know what I was going to say is I would think the nipple rings are probably for the person that has the piercing.

Well, maybe, yeah. I would think. Okay. They get stimulation when maybe their shirt or bra touches it or something. Oh, maybe. Maybe tickles it. Women that have it call in and let us know what the deal is. Because I don't know either.

I'm like you. To me, they seem like they would be obstructive. But maybe they tickle. Well, if it's for their pleasure, it's like, you know, seriously, who cares? No, I'm just kidding. We're not there to pleasure, you. That's not our job. A girlfriend thought it was the sexiest thing in the world.

My wife is worried that it's going to pull out her IUD. There you go. It's all about the context, isn't it? So, it's all relative. When I'm with the girlfriend, it's in. When I'm with the wife, it's out. Oh. Give up the good work.

Okay, hope that was okay to play on the air. All right. Well, that's interesting. Yeah, I think maybe it's just a little naughty. And so when you're in a situation that's already a little naughty, it just makes it a little naughty. It just makes it a little naughtier. All right. Cool.

Well, thank you for that. I'm very interested in that. You want to hear it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I found a material safety data sheet for the cucumber melon. Yeah. Z screen deodorizing urinal thing. Yes.

So it is considered harmful of swallowed causes skin irritation. These things are about six inches to eight inches around. So somebody cramming that thing in their gullet would be, have more problems than that. More issues. ingest the toxicity of it may cause allergic skin reaction, suspected of causing cancer. Okay. And. But, okay, that's if ingested, which nobody's going to do.

Right. And at the very end, the conclusion is that there's, it's not been determined if it's a health hazard or if it's flammable or anything like that. Just because it's, you know, it's like a lot of other things, it's not going to. Yeah, they're not, they're going to make you money on it. So bottom line is it is it. It is, it can cause toxicity to the skin. Yeah. Certainly mucus membranes, as you can imagine.

But his concern was the fumes. The fumes, right. And so we don't have any evidence that it does, but still, if you're smelling it and it smells like chemicals, never hurts to just, you know, if flushing it would make it go away, just flush it. Well, it does say if exposed get into a clean airspace. Yeah. On here, so much makes sense.

Right. Well, that's true of any men's bathroom. Yes. Hold your breath, boy. a damn clean space as soon as you can do your business a bunch of nasty all right all right hey dr steve brian from new hampshire hey brian just wanted to weigh in how ridiculous the opiate crisis is okay my wife was in a coma on popopold and uh oh jean fentanyl for a month and a half and then rehab for a couple weeks and then

And when I went to go get her 20, Perkisset 5, Walmart said they would only give her 7, and I would have to fool fit the other 13. Okay, some states have laws about this. Let me let him finish his call, and then we'll talk about that. She woke up from thyroid cancer complications with drop foot,

so it was hard enough to get her in out of the house. Yeah. So I thought it was pretty ridiculous. They said, oh, she doesn't have a history of drugs. I'm like, she's in a coma for a month and a half on drugs. Yeah, I don't know what the coma thing is. If she was on

if she was in the ICU, they'll use fentanyl to do a chemically induced coma. Basically, they're sedating people. Just really to pass the time, because if you're on a if you've got a tube shoved down your throat and you're on a respirator, you know, a minute will seem like

an hour. So if you're on there for two weeks, it can seem interminable and really can cause all kinds of psychic trauma so they will use fentanyl sometimes they'll use a benzodiazepine drug

called Versed for the same reason there are other things that they can use including propofal. Propheal is the Michael Jackson's magic milk and when done properly it's a great sedative and it'll

keep you under and it can And fentanyl and propofol, both are fat-sliable, so they will accumulate in the system. So you may have some, the longer you're on it, some cognitive difficulties. You know, it might make you a little foggy for a while. Sure. But for me, if I'm going to be on the ventilator, I'd much rather wake up and say, hey, it's two weeks later than have to lay there for two weeks, just thinking, when am I ever going to get out of here? Yeah, that's good. I'll tell you what, man, when I had an MRI on my finger and I thought I'd just sit in a chair and put my hand in the MRI.

No, you get in the whole damn thing on your hands and knees. But that tube isn't big enough for you to be on your hands and knees. So you're just kind of laying on your elbows and you can't move. And it hurts. The pain is interminable. They've got to have a better way to do this. And you can't move. And it's 45 minutes.

And at about minute 30, I was praying to God, look, if you get me out of this, you know, I'll make you any deal you want, you know, how those things are. I've held that up the best I could for as long as I could sustain it. But, you know, it was awful. So I can't imagine being on a ventilator for, you know, two weeks or a month without having some sedation. So I'm assuming that's what he's talking about. She wasn't in a coma because she did it. She got really, really sick, and they had to sedate her while she was on life support. So then she gets out of the hospital, and they go to fill, they gave them a prescription for 20 percassette, and they would only give her a couple, you know.

You know, seven out of 20. Yeah, right. They only give them seven. Now, there are some states, and Tennessee is one of them that have rules about this. You can't just send somebody out of the hospital with a big old prescription. for a peanut jar full of, you know, oxycodone or whatever. But for, if I heard him right, she has stage four cancer. Almost all of those states have exemptions for people who are undergoing cancer treatment or are in hospice or something like that.

So I have a funny feeling that this prescription was filled out incorrectly. Like in Tennessee, if you have, if you want to write somebody a 90 or a 30 day supply, of medication that otherwise you can only write a three-day supply for or a 10-day supply with half of it up front and then half there's all kinds of different rules all you have to do is write exempt and then why so in Tennessee we would write exempt cancer treatment and then that person can get any whatever they need now their insurance still may not pay for it but as far as the pharmacy filling it there's no issue but if you leave that word exempt off of there, the pharmacy can't fill it, the most they can give them is a three-day

supply. So I have a funny feeling that this is what happened here, that there was some rule, and the hospitalist or the critical care doctor who sent her out either didn't know or didn't care how to follow those rules to get her what she needed. What they should have done was said, look, I'm going to give you a three-day supply, and I'm making you an appointment with a palliative medicine provider or the oncologist so that they can fill this out because they need. know how to do these things. If they had just told them that, they wouldn't have this

problem. So I suspect that's what is. What she needs to do to prevent this kind of issue in the future, if she's pursuing treatment, is to ask the oncologist to refer her to a palliative medicine specialist. Palliative medicine specialists deal with pain. They deal with symptom management of all kinds. And they deal with medical decision making with people that have advanced illnesses that are not responsive to curative treatment. And almost all the cancer centers now have access to somebody. If they

don't, they have to be doing it themselves and that means that the oncologist themselves should be able to do this for you. But yeah, don't just lay down and take it when particularly when if you've got, if I heard right and she's got stage four cancer and God bless her and

you know, we've got new crap coming out all the time so her job right now is to kick that can as far down the road as she can because we are getting closer and closer to a truly generalizable treatment for cancer that will be very effective but we're not quite there yet on some of these some of them we are early detection always being the key so look if you're a woman listening to this and that's unlikely but it's you know it's possible anything's possible and you haven't gotten your pap smear and you're overdue go get it if you are at risk for colon cancer and you're you're

You've been putting off that colonoscopy. Don't. Go get it. Call right now and do it. Actually, it kind of feels good to get all cleaned out. It does. Yeah, it feels right. You know, you're a little light on your feet for a while.

Until you fill it back up with burgers and stuff. Get all that shit out of you. Speaking of burgers, by the way, I tweeted out a picture, and it wasn't, it's really hard to take a picture of food. But a picture today of the meatballs I made with. Hello. We know that it is. Well, what a coincidence. What a shock.

What a shock. Tacey, you're on weird medicine. She just hangs up. How long have we been doing this? I mean, it's every time. And then she's, oh, it's just a. What day is today? Really what it is is that's how much she calls me all day long.

It's fine. I love her. So she can call me any. time she wants to, but it does really seem like she, it concentrates on show time, but really what it is is she calls me at least ten times

a day, and so, you know, just by chance it's going to happen. Anyway, I made some burgers for the boys. And some meatballs for Tacey. I just, you know, I'm an amateur chef, so I just improvised with what I had. I, um, with beyond meat.

Love it. It was actually pretty damn good. Love it. Now, I'm really, I've thought when I saw it as raw meat in the meat section, which I can't wait until the meat people start freaking out about that. Because in Wisconsin, back in the day, you could not sell margarine in the same place where you sold butter. As a matter of fact, you couldn't color margarine yellow. It came in this tub and it was white, and you had to take this capsule of yellow food dye

and mix it up in it if you wanted it to be yellow. I don't know that. And because, well, because the dairy guys were freaking out about margarine. Right. So the meat guys, their meat lobby, they're going to do something to keep this out of the meat section. Unless in 2019, we've got enough rationality that we realize people aren't stupid. They know what's meat and what in there. I was seeking this stuff out.

So the beyond meat is pea protein. And I think coconut oil. and some other stuff. But it's limited to ingredients. But it really, you know, if you don't look too closely, it really looks like ground beef in the package. And when you work it, it's like ground beef. And so I threw some feta cheese,

some freshly grated parmesan cheese, salt and pepper garlic, and, oh, some oregano and some thyme mixed it together. Oh, and egg whites. I had some egg whites. I had eggs, but I had egg whites. It was fine. and some egg white threw it in there. The egg white, of course, doesn't make it vegan.

Well, and really the cheese, it doesn't either. Right, so. So you could pretty close, though. You could do it vegan. It was a plant-based. But this was not, you know, unless you consider egg whites meat, it's just alabument. It's just a protein. But anyway.

So, and I mixed it all together, made them into balls and cooked them for about, I don't, 15, 20 minutes, turned on them halfway. And they were outstanding. And my kids ate those burgers and had no clue that it wasn't meat. I'm sure they thought they tasted kind of like, well, dad doesn't really know how to make a burger because this isn't like what we get at Perkins. But it was really quite good. So I'm really excited to try the impossible burger. And look, I'm not pushing it.

I just, I'm interested in stuff like this. You know, I always like trying new different things. And I'm not convinced in any way that this stuff is healthy. healthier for you than eating a regular burger as far as fat it certainly has more fiber in it the pea protein has got fiber in it and um well it has vegetables in which a hamburger does not right right right right hey let me but you know on that same thing i did those beyond burger um sausages okay and they're they're like they look like the kilbasa kind of sausage okay how was that chopped them up and i made a spicy italian sausage with those things oh yeah so i just i had some

spicy olive oil like when you say a spicy italian sausage you mean the uh sandwich no no for for spaghetti yeah for spaghetti yeah for spaghetti and um so i i i chopped those things up and made a spicy italian sausage so i just had the um olive oil spicy olive with some um crushed red peppers in there and threw them in there and sauteed them and that man and you would you would not know the difference yeah we threw this in some marinera and you could put it on spaghetti or anything so i'm telling you guys you know if you're looking for something else it the the the frozen Wasn't ones, I don't know. But this came, it was in the meat section, in a packet that looked like meat.

Yes. And that was what I was really looking for. And they had some pre-padded ones, too, and they patty up really nice. And it was actually really good. And you know, they put a little bit of beet juice in the middle of it. So when you cut it, it looks. Yon uses beet juice. It looks like.

Impossible uses soy methamoglobin. And why in the hell, soybeans have to make he. hemoglobin. Right. What do they use it for? They're not using it to carry oxygen. At least I don't think they are. They have their own transport system in the...

In the stalks. And leaves and stuff. You know, chlorophyll and stuff to move oxygen around and reduce and oxidize things to glean energy from sunlight. But, yeah, there's hemoglobin in there. And then that's what makes them bleed. Wow. That's crazy. Yeah.

And that really, from what I hear, gives it a very meaty kind of smell to when you, you know, because it's all, it's the whole thing. When you're eating a really good burger, it's the first thing is the visual. Yep. And then you get that smell. And that smell means it's going to taste good. Right. And when you see a Bobby Flay burger or, you know, one of those really, you know, nice, just thick gourmet burgers. and then, you know, of course, there's the taste and then the texture of it.

Yeah. It's just so much different than like a mushroom burger or something. It doesn't look like a hamburger. Right, right, right. And it doesn't really taste like one either. It's just kind of burger-esque. But, and then there's some hearing, too, because, you know, the crunch and all that stuff. So all five of your senses are involved in eating. Oh, yeah.

And so you've got to get all that stuff. It's like the uncanny valley. You know what I'm talking about? No. You ever seen that movie, the North Pole movie? What the F was that thing? The one with Tom Hanks and it's animated. No.

But it was CGI. And North Pole Express or something. I can't remember what it is. It's a Christmas movie. But it was a good example. A Polar Express. Yeah. Okay.

So go look up. Just look up Uncanny Valley Polar Express and you'll see what I'm talking about. And everybody out there, if you don't know what I'm talking about. Because the human eye is very tuned to seeing human faces. So if you draw a circle with two dots and a semicircle inside it, you will perceive that as a caricature of a face, even though there's no face in the world looks like that. And this probably has some evolutionary advantage, particularly when we were infants looking up and seeing our appearance. And we were very easy to discern who was somebody we were supposed to be with and who we weren't, you know, which one was a saber-toothed tiger, in which case we were just going to get eaten if you were a human infant. But, you know, I guess that gave you some, I don't know, gave you some survival advantage somehow.

But anyway, we are so attuned to seeing faces, though, that when you make one that's close to a human face, but not quite it is disturbing and that whole movie was disturbing because they were so close to being right but the human eye can tell minute differences that set them apart so aliens that didn't know us very well

that tried to mask us we'd be able to spot them very easily because they would make subtle mistakes in their creation of a human face that we would perceive as being false they use this to their advantage in that movie Alita Battle Angel where she was supposed to look otherworldly so they made her eyes just a little bit too big

or maybe a lot too big and her mouth a little bit too small and her smile was kind of not human but it was close she was cute but you could tell she wasn't human and that was on purpose because she was a robot

and so they skirted that uncanny valley well anyway Same thing with our food. There is an uncanny valley with things that are hoarding to be meat. And some things will pass mustard and others will not. And mushroom burgers, yeah, they're really in that. They're sort of the Tom Hanks and Polar Express. But now, if you're just eating it as a mushroom burger and not pretending that's meat is fine.

That's funny. All right. I'm not sure. I don't remember how we got off on that, but I don't either. If I could get my hands on some impossible burger meat, I'll report back because I really want to do an AB comparison. Question, I guess you could say. I know in the morning I get up and I get ready to go out and do my fat boy waddle.

I don't run by a do waddle. And I work up a good sweat and everything. but I don't smell that sweat. I don't smell body odor from that sweat. But end of the day, I go home after working out for an entire day and everything. And every once in a while, I get a funky smell in my armpits. I'm not sweating, then, but does sweat itself smell? No.

But it's an excellent question. And people who listened last week that paid attention to, the project that I did on the Howard Stern channel the germia staffer will know the answer to this. There is a bacterium on the skin, it's not the only one,

but there's a very common bacterium on the skin called microcaucous and micrococcus ludius and there's a couple other species. And microcaucous, one of the things that it does is it breaks down oils in sweat because sweat,

the sweat itself is just water and salt. but there are byproducts of human metabolism, you know, and hang on, I've got to tell them. I'll call them back. There are byproducts of human metabolism that unavoidably are going to be carried out with the sweat. And there are oils, too. And these micrococcal bacteria will break down the oils. When they eat them, basically, they ingest it.

and then their byproducts will smell. Their waste. Yeah, waste products go. Basically, they're breaking it down, and it's not really a process of fermentation, but they're metabolizing it, and then their waste products and the products of metabolism, basically waste products, will have that sort of funky B.O. smell. So micrococcus are the bacteria that cause B.O. smell. Now, and those colonies like it when,

your arms are down because then it's moist in there and it's dark and it's warm and when they dry out if they're spore forming they can maybe form spores if they have time but most of the time they just die so that's why at the end of the day you're going to smell a little bit worse than you do at the beginning of the day and just a little tip out there for those of you who have been told that you stink using deodorant won't cut it so you have to use an antiperspirant if you stink and most of you do if you don't do this and unfortunately right now the only antiperspirants that we have are aluminum chloride containing the only ones that work with a hoot and there is that new stuff called loomy and i i think it's more of an it inhibits bacterial growth but it doesn't stop perspiration so you know if you're cool not smelling but when you open up when you put your arms up over your head you've got these giant pit stains well that's fine but i don't want the giant pit stains and i don't want to stink so you have to use an antiperspiram and it's just part of it and i just

deal with it um whatever risk there may be and it's always they come out with one study saying it has risk another study say it doesn't have any risk that tells me that if there is risk it's minimal and i'm willing to accept that to not stink because we have some people that i've worked with before some from other cultures, some from our own culture. Oh, sure. You know, there's no one group of people that smells more than the other. But 100% of the time, when they smell that bad, they're using a deodorant instead of an antiperspirant. Or they're using per, well, I put perfume on or I put cologne on it.

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It makes it worse. Right. Prevention is always the key. Yeah. Yeah. And by the way, everybody, let's not use food.

food-oriented anti-smell sprays because when you have vanilla air freshener and you spray that in a room where you just took a dump, it's just vanilla feces. That's what you've created.

And I won't let any of my medical students use food imagery when they're discussing something disgusting. So like even to the point where they say, well, this person, you know, we extruded pus from this abscess. It was about a cup

and it's like, no, don't ever, it's not a cup. That's a measurement for food. It's you know, 240 milliliters. That's fine. I don't give, you know, use metric terms. But when you start saying cups or

teaspoons or this, you know, melanoma was about the size of an orange. An orange. And then I can't eat an orange. You know, stop it. Right. It's six millimeters by four millimeters.

Or the material extruded from the infected sebaceous cyst had the consistency of scrambled egg. Stop it. Yes. A runny scrambled egg. Oh, yeah, yeah, exactly. Or cottage cheese. Cottage cheese. Yeah, yeah.

Then I can't eat cottage cheese for a week. Yep. And I'm not squeamish, but that's just gross. So we don't use food terminology to describe gross things in the human body, period. I love it. The mucus flow, the rhinorrhea, which is mucus flowing from your nose, had the consistency of simple syrup used in the preparation of a Shirley Temple. Well, I don't like Shirley Temple. No, I know.

I couldn't think of a drink that uses simple syrup. I know, I know. That's being stupid. All right. Well, I was stupid. All right. I guess we got a time for another. Hey, Dr. Steve.

I had a question about lytocaine. I just had a... Okay. For the people who don't know what lydicane is, it is a... What it does is it shuts down certain channels for charged nuclei, or not nuclear... Yeah, yeah, charged atomic nuclei

to pass through those channels. channels. And when that is stopped, no electricity can flow because that's how it flows in the human body and in nerves is you get these inflows of these charged particles. And, you know, any movement of a charged particle, it's electricity, right? And will actually cause a small movement of a charged particle will induce a magnetic field. But anyway, so when you shut down those channels, then no charge particle can move and therefore no signal

can move from that nerve to the brain and therefore it's an anesthetic. Okay. All right. And I was awake for the procedure. Of course. So this guy had a vasectomy and he was awake. We don't put people asleep for a

vasectomy. It's an ex-turn. Just turn your head. Look away. You know, if they do like they did me, they put me in what's called dorsalithotomy position, which is basically you're delivering a baby and you can't see your taint when when you're on your back and your knees are pointed to the ceiling yep okay so and it took me a while to get numb

and the doctor remarked that she had to use more lytocaine yeah normal i don't know why she made a comment i don't know why it's taking you longer yeah she didn't know so she just gave you more and then it worked i've had people that i can if i'm going to take a toenail off. I have to give them way more lydicane than I normally would for somebody because everybody's different. Yeah, sure. And sometimes we are rapid metabolizers of these things. Other times

somehow those channels are just refractory to it, are immune in the right word, but in the colloquial, you know, they're immune to it. Or it just takes a higher dose. Everything like that is true. If that weren't true, I'd give everybody

five milligrams of amylopine for their blood pressure, and everybody'd be fine. So it's just everybody's different. So that's all it is. And you're not a, maybe that's your mutant power. You know, you were saying something about whether redheads have issues with anesthesia, right? Was that you? That was me. What was that about?

What they actually found out was it there? Who's they? Well, researchers. Okay. You know, they could be television's fabulous Van Patten family. But it appears now, I'm reading for Medical Daily. Yeah. That people that I read had to tend to be a little more sensitive to painkillers.

Maybe they don't metabolize as well. And they appear to have, they need more. Now, this is from one study, more gas during anesthesia. More gas during anesthesia. Well, that's not lydicane, but that could be interesting, though. Well, dude, if you're listening to this call back and let us know if you're redhead. Yeah. Oh, by the way, they also rarely.

go gray and they have more sex. There you go. Bastards. Sons of bitches. I'm partially red-headed. All right, let's get this going. So tell the story about why are we doing this song? Yes, we have a friend Amanda down in Georgia who bought some simple herbal stuff and made a comment and thanked us.

And we sent her one of our fabulous signed photos with our, you know, P.A. John Sucks thing on it. Okay. She thanked us and I said, shoot, we should just do a song. That old Whalen Jennings song, Amanda, for her. All right, let's do it. She said she loves it, so we'll, I'm sure we can screw this up, too. Yeah, we just learned this five minutes ago.

All right, bring it. Yeah, here go. Well, I've held it all inward. God knows I've tried. It's an awful. awakening in a country boy's life to look in the mirror in total surprise at the hair on my shoulders and age in my life I'll mend all the light of my life Fate should have made you a gentleman's wife. Oh, man, know the light of my life.

Fate should have made you a gentleman's wife. It's a measure of people. who don't understand the pleasures of life in a heavily band I got my first guitar when I was 14 now finally made 40

and still wearing gene The man do the light of my life. Fate should have made you a gentleman's wife. Oh man do the light of my life. Fate should have made you a gentleman's wife. There you go man's wife. All right, well, I might end it out a little bit of that. Thanks always, go to Dr. Scott.

We can't forget Rob Sprantz, Bob Kelly, Greg, Hughes, Anthony Coomia, Jim Norton, Travis Teft, Lewis Johnson, Paulov, Charsky, Eric Nagel, Roland Campos, Sam Roberts, Pat Duffy, Dennis Falcone, Ron Bennington, and Fez Watley, whose early support of this show has never gone unappreciated. Listen to our SiriusXM show on the Faction Talk channel. Serious XM Channel 103, Saturdays at 8 p.m. Eastern, Sunday at 5 p.m. Eastern on demand. And other times at Jim McClure's pleasure. Many thanks to our listeners whose voicemail and topic ideas make this job very easy. Go to our website at Dr. Steve.com for schedules and podcasts and other crap.

Until next time, check your stupid nuts for lumps, quit smoking, get off your asses and get some exercise. We'll see you in one week for the next edition of Weird Medicine. Thank you. Thank you.