Weird Medicine: The Podcast - 482 - Balzac Cancer

Episode Date: December 1, 2021

Dr Steve, PA Lydia and Shannon Wallen (of Troma and Grindhouse Theater fame) discuss refugees across the ages, the best Batman fight scene ever, eyesight magic tricks, colonoscopy fun, and more! Please visit: stuff.doctorsteve.com (for all your online shopping needs!) Get Every Podcast on a Thumb Drive ($30 gets them all!) simplyherbals.net (for all your StressLess and FatigueReprieve needs!) Cameo.com/weirdmedicine (Book your old pal right now while he’s still cheap!) feals.com/fluid (try the new FEALS MINTS!) CHECK US OUT ON PATREON!  ALL NEW CONTENT! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What did the taco say to the sad burrito? We've all been there. If you just read the bio for Dr. Steve, host of weird medicine on Sirius XM103, and made popular by two really comedy shows, Opie and Anthony and Ron and Fez, you would have thought that this guy was a bit of, you know, a clown. Why can't you give me the respect that I'm entitled to?

I've got diphtheria crushing my esophagus. I've got Tobolivir, stripping from my nose. I've got the leprosy of the heartbound, exacerbating my infertable woes. I want to take my brain out, plastic width to wave, an ultrasonic, ecographic, and a pulsating shave. I want a magic pill. All my ailments, the health equivalent of citizen cane.

And if I don't get it now in the tablet I think I'm doomed Then I'll have to go insane I want a requiem for my disease So I'm paging Dr. Steve From the world Famous Cardiff Electric Network Studios It's weird medicine

The first and still only uncensored medical show In the History of Broadcast Radio Now a podcast, I'm Dr. Steve With my little pal Shannon Wallin the mayor of Tromaville and the fondler of micropenuses. Microwan. Yeah.

Hello. He wrote that. That's his intro that he wrote. That had nothing to do with that. And we also have the return of PA Lydia by popular demand. Hello, PA, Lydia. Hello, hello. She's going to be talking about Task Force Argo and some other stuff, and it'll be a total downer,

and then we'll have fun after that. But it's an important... important topic that I believe in. So now we're going to subject you to it. This is a show for people who would never listen to a medical show on the radio or the internet. If you have a question, you're embarrassed to take to your regular medical provider. If you can't find an answer anywhere else, give us a call at 347-76-4-3-23. That's 347. Take it, Lydia.

Not poohead. Excellent. Follow us on Twitter at Weird Medicine. Visit our website at Dr.steve.com for podcast, medical news and stuff you can buy. Most importantly, we are not your medical providers. Take everything you hear with a grain of salt. Don't act on anything you hear on this show without talking to it over with your doctor. Nurse practitioner, practical nurse, physician assistant, pharmacist, chiropractor, acupuncturist, yoga master, physical therapist, clinical laboratory scientist, registered dietitian or whatever.

Please don't forget stuff.com.com. That's stuff. Dottersteve.com. Tiz the season to go to stuff. com. Just click through to go to Amazon. It really helps to keep us on the air. It's probably one of the biggest things that helps keep us on the air.

The other big thing is Patreon. Check out our Patreon channel at patreon.com slash weird medicine. Those are mostly Tacey shows, and they're a little bit more lighthearted, and then these shows are, and it's the return of my wife. She was my co-host for a year during COVID. They sent her back on the road. Hell, she didn't even hear her. You know, she's out of the house three nights a week now.

and hates it. And I said, if we can get to a thousand Patreon subscribers, then that'll be break-even. You can quit your job. So we're really hoping for that one. So check us out at patreon.com slash weird medicine, help Tacey quit her job and actually be entertained because some of the stuff that we've got up there is pretty good.

In addition, we have a different theme song, which is, what's the word? And it was heavily influenced by our current theme song by Sherwin's Leaves, who I would never shit on. By the way, for the Sherwin's sleeves fans out there, he is probably going to be working on the Game of Thrones sequel or prequel. Oh, really? Yeah. Duncan Egg, I think they're going to call it. And Steve Conrad is, he works for him.

And Steve Conrad did Patriot, and he's done some other things. Patriot's one of my favorite shows of all times. That's big word. Yeah, it's about a depressed CIA agent. And he also is a musician. And when he plays in bars, he's always, he sings these songs that are autobiographical. And he's totally telling everything. Well, I murdered a guy today.

And he's just, you know, it's all stuff that really happened. It's a crazy-ass show. Yeah, I've never seen this. That's great. Steve Conrad's one of my favorite showrunners and Sherwin Sleeves, one of my favorite people in the whole wide world. And the two of them together are insane. So I just read that Steve.

Conrad is going to be taking over the Game of Thrones prequel and I asked sleeves if he's going to be working on it and he said that that's the plan right now or at least he hopes so so I hope that happens oh I do too I'm very excited he's he sleeves may end up being my most famous friend right now my most favorite friend my most famous friend is Pete Davidson little peatty yes is that not from Blinkwain From who? Davidson. Oh, the guy on St.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, and he's S&L. Yeah, Saturday Night Live, and then he was Blackguard in the Suicide Squad movie. He was, yeah. Genius. Oh, man, James Gunn from Troma. Yeah, James Gunn. That's right. James Gunn, what did he do for trauma?

He started by writing a script for Tromio and Juliet. Okay, well, we're going to talk about Troma and just a second. Let me finish the plugs and we'll get to that. No, no, no, you're fine. You're fine. So anyway, but Pete, I think right now is my most famous friend. And mainly because of the people he's slept with, his own accomplishments. Yeah, he's going to be playing Joey Ramon in the Ramon's movie.

Oh, he is not. No, he is not. And he'll be awesome in that. You're kidding me. He's turned out to be a pretty good actor on top of everything else. Tell him to smoke weed with me. I want to get stoned with this guy. Okay, we'll talk after the show.

Check out tweakeda audio.com for 33% off, the best earbuds for the money. If you use offer code fluid, FLUID at tweakeda audio.com, they have the best customer service anywhere. There's great stocking stuffers. Check out Dr. Scott's website at simplyherbils.net. And then again, please don't forget our Patreon channel, patreon.com slash weird medicine. Oh, and for the holidays, if you want to do cameo, I just dropped my price next to nothing. So, cameo, and just search weird medicine, I think, and I'll do a cameo for you. And I'll do it as Myrtle if you want.

Well, he ought not to be doing them corn squazes. I'll do Merle. Fix me some maids. I'll do My own, Merle for you. I'll do Cletus. Well, when you're walling of yours, you are a good. or I'll just do one from your old pal, Dr. Steve. You let me know.

I'll do whatever you want because I like doing those stupid cameos. So cameo.com and then search weird medicine. Did you realize that Rudy Giuliani is on Cameo? Oh, how much is he? I was actually, I was perusing Cameo today because I want to just get someone to help us in Afghanistan. So I'm like, who will help? And then the only person I could find that would help was like $1,000. I'm like, I could feed a lot of people for that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but I thought Rudy Giuliani was a really funny one. Like, is it supposed to be funny? Let's see. With Borat. Okay, he's 325. I did not have. Oh, wait.

Oh, here's Ermeline Spratt. Hey, well, you're on the air, I'll tell you that. Here's the top of the team. Well, I'll have to call you later. This party line's awful busy. It's taken me about a whole week to get thank you. All right. I'm doing my show.

I'll call you back. Okay, bye. Jesus. This is great. That's great. So, Rudy is $3.25. Now, I've got to decide whether I want to spend $325 getting Rudy Giuliani to scream WATP, WATP for my friends that who are these podcasts.

I would consider that's for personal. use, right? Yeah. Okay, I got to think about it. I do have a budget for things like that if they'll just plug me back. That's a big deal to me. As long as you get

credits or someone's good to you you, you mentioned their name, you know, that's the way it should be. Agreed. Very good. Dr. Scott can't be here today. He is in Columbia, South Carolina, as we speak. I guess going to the beach or some

stupid shit. So thanks a lot, Scott. But I'm glad you guys could be here. Now, Shannon, for people who don't remember, you've been here before. You did not come in last in the funniest person in the Tri-Cities competition. I didn't, but I should have. No, you should not have come in last. But that's something. You didn't come in last.

Yeah, that's something. But, hey, let's speak true about it. I blew that thing. I totally sucked. I landed what? Two jokes that people laughed at. and the rest was the people that came after you didn't land any jokes well i guess that's a little better so and i think one of your jokes what was the one you got the biggest laugh that you're so

fat that you that you come gravy or something like that i'm so fat i sweat mayonnaise and come gravy okay that's okay i was close that was close there you go see and you get believe i remembered it See, she liked it. Hey, at least I got one laugh out of it. Anyway, and Lydia, good to have you back. This is, by the way, by popular demand. Your last appearance was so well received that people really said, hey, you need to have her back again.

So I'm glad you're here. Those are probably like my friends in the Afghani Vak world. I'm telling you, these are people that are regular comments. on the show so yeah they like you so why don't we get the plugs out of the way for task force argo and then we'll do the the more fun stuff well that's the important stuff so task force argo we're still getting people out of afghanistan still well i would like to say we're still getting them out we've unfortunately been grounded since i was last year oh really why what's going on well we cannot get a lily pad approval we can't get a place to land people so we have

all of these flights. We have all of these funded humanitarian flights full of people who have either some immigration status with the United States or they were an ally or they're at extreme risk just by virtue of being a woman or their ethnicity. But unfortunately, we cannot get our kind government to cooperate on a good place to land. So you could get them on a plane but you can't get a place for the plane to land? That is correct. What the... Yeah.

Truly, the Taliban doesn't even care at this point. Yeah, they're probably happy. It's less miles to feed. Yeah, I mean, we don't pay the Taliban directly. However, it's not that they're not making money indirectly. And so, yeah, we can put people on planes. It's not a big deal to find. fund a plane, though we do certainly need donations, the biggest deal is finding a country

to take these people in while they're processed or to resettle them and let them integrate into their society. Okay. So what do we have to, what do we do about that? We just keep pushing. Does shame people into it? Yeah, keep it in the news, keep pushing, keep working with countries, and then in the meantime, keep people from starving to death and being murdered.

Wow. That is our main goal. Help people survive until we can get a place to put them. Are you familiar with the MS. St. Louis? I am not. All right. Shannon, are you? It was in 1939.

It was a ship, and it had 937 Jewish passengers that were trying to escape Nazi Germany, and they wanted to stop in the United States, and, yeah, not, they were rejected. They were turned down by immigration authorities in Cuba, the United States, and then Canada. And I believe, let me see if I can finish reading about this, what happened to them. It took two weeks for the St. Louis, which flew a Nazi flag to reach Havana. The voyage didn't end on Cuban soil. Cuban officials refused to let them disembark, and then they waited aboard for a week and didn't find

sanctuary there and they attempted to land in Miami that was rejected by immigration authorities and a U.S. diplomat tried to negotiate with Cuba to get them to take them and so the State Department telegraphed the passengers telling them they must wait their turns on the waiting list qualify for and obtain immigration visas so after 24 days after they left Europe it turned around to return accompanied by a U.S. Coast Guard vessel. And just to see if anybody might jump off the ship. And so the majority of European countries were already occupied by Germany at that point. And many were forced back home and then you know what happened. So this is, I mean, listen, if you forget your history, you're going to

repeat it. I think actually the same people are working in government now that we're making those decisions then. Oh, yeah, okay. They drink baby's blood. They eat babies. Yeah. Now, I will say Department of State has stepped up flights. So we've been able to get out.

Like, I just had a family of American citizen babies that had gone pretty hungry for the past couple weeks until I was able to help them. So they just landed in Qatar a few hours ago. Their Department of State is pledging to continue evacuating sieves. However, I've got a family who is about to live. deliver a baby, American citizens, and they can't get on a plane because one of their kids doesn't have a passport. And the only way to get a passport is to go through the black market, which I'm trying

to arrange right now. Wow. But the U.S. government is... How do you get a black market passport? I mean, is that legal? I won't tell you. Okay, okay, thank you.

Don't tell me. I don't want to know. Goodness gracious. Yeah. So the upshot of refusing refugees is, in this case, according to... to this article, the world's refusal of the St. Louis' desperate refugees was a death sentence for 254 refugees, half the number who had returned to the European continent in 39. Many who did not die were interned in concentration camps. And, you know, after the Holocaust, St. Louis

survivors pushed for the remembrance of the ordeal. United States changed its policy toward refugees in the wake of World War II, began accepting more refugees than any other country in the world. So if that's true, why are we having this problem? I mean, these are, I mean, this is, we're starting to show out as a complete downer. Yeah, again, you know, Nazi Germany and, uh, and, uh, yeah, this refugee crisis, but. The United States has met its refugee cap for the year. That was like the congressional approved number of refugees it could accept. Oh, that's what it is. And so after the first of the year, they're supposed to perhaps accept more. Meanwhile, one of our families got a box full of

pomegranates that were actually bombs. So, yeah. We would just wait until January, you know, until the number can reset. People in this country have no clue how good we have it. That is absolutely accurate. Compared to some places in the world. Yeah. And if it isn't in the nose, yeah, you just forget about it.

Yeah, we got to keep it in the news, for sure. And on shows like this. Yeah. Nobody listens to this shit. All right. Well, listen, good luck with that. Thank you. You said your money is going through allied extract.org. Is that right? Yeah, so I've been able to meet some really wonderful souls also at Allied Extract. Really, all of the American NGOs are kind of partnering, and we were just trying to help each other.

So I've got some wonderful friends at Allied Extract that are allowing me to use donations to help actually feed people directly, give them supply. that they need to survive this winter. And then, of course, Task Force Argo donations going there are really looking at mass supply of safe houses and big picture like airplanes, which we can't currently fly. So I hate to get in the nuts and bolts of this, but how do you get food to somebody in Afghanistan? I mean, what's the supply chain that allows that to work?

I mean, when I think about Afghanistan, of course, I'm ignorant. I think, well, do people even have addresses where you can send things to? I mean, how does that work? They're a little bit different. They're more like building numbers or house numbers. Okay. But, yeah, we go, you know, you figure out who needs the product, what they need, and then you link them with someone on the ground there. You wire money through, right now we're wiring it through a third country to get into a more local market and get,

the money delivered so that they can buy the goods. So they buy it locally and bring it to them? It's not like you're shipping cases of baby formula. No, and that's one of the problems. So some of the larger humanitarian efforts that are sending in food and supplies have a heavy Taliban tax. So the Taliban takes a lot of that. Sure.

And so we have some grassroots efforts that are kind of going 100% direct with people and getting their food. Wow. Okay. Well, good luck with all of that. Thank you. Absolutely. It continues.

Yeah. We'll keep checking in on that. Thanks. All right, good deal. Well, let's do something fun. Yes. Let's talk to Shannon about trauma. We're going to go from the Holocaust and refugees in Afghanistan to Lloyd Kaufman and Toxic Adventure.

Hey, yes, yes, trauma. That's so much more important than what she was talking about. I mean, that's For some people it is That's little weird movies Let's save lives How do you follow that up That's great really

For real Good job Congratulations on what you're doing Other people Yeah that was me All that applause you just heard was me So Shannon You have been in some of these

projects I've been lucky enough To all my life I've, almost my entire life, I was born with a VHS tape of Toxic Avenger in my hand. But I have been lucky enough to be in a few little things, thanks to Kevin Walter, director of Tower Rats. Okay. And Nick Charles, director of Shroomed, both from Troma. Now, are you friends with Tom Savini, too?

Or you know him, right? I've met him. We've crossed paths a few times, yeah. He's never done makeup on you. Oh, Lord, no, I'm nothing. I'm a nobody. Somebody's nice enough to throw me in something, and I'm very thankful. That's exactly all it is.

Yeah, if you've got a film where you just want some creepy-looking backwoods, dude, then Shannon is your guy. Well, thank you. Yeah, and I mean that in the best possible way. Absolutely. Thank you. You and I were going to do a film for DragonCon called Festival of Feces. that would have been because they always have this film

it's like a fan film festival is part of Dragoncom well now that fan films are sometimes they're better than the real movies I mean the Star Wars fan films are some of them are amazing and so but some of the stuff that we saw was just absolute shite

and so I thought it would be fun to have we had this friend named Alan and he was going to be like a secret agent guy and we were going to start off with the secret agent thing and then it was going to end up with Shannon in this bathroom just

shitting and it was lifting him up off of the toilet and there was just shit everywhere and the whole thing was just going to be truly a festival of feces. We even did the theme music for it. We did. I wonder if I have that. Oh, I hope you do. That would be hilarious.

Let me see if I can find that. I found ass maggot stuff. Hey, while you look for that, can I plug Trauma Entertainment? Yeah, please. Hey, Lloyd Kaufman, you're talking about Jewish people. There's a fine Jewish man. Well, you know, you're talking about a boatload of Jewish folk trying to truck around the planet to find some land to put their feet on. Yes.

But he's one of those fine folks that has given us almost 50 years of truly independent cinema with Troma Entertainment. Yeah, that's true. It's true. I don't know what his ethnicity or his religion has anything to do with that. No, no. But, you know, if he pokes it himself, he makes Jewish jokes with himself. Okay. We'll let him do that.

Okay. Okay, sounds good. All right. So, yeah, but I do wonder how Lloyd got involved in this. Do you know the story of how Lloyd Kaufman ended up becoming Lloyd Kaufman, the king of of slock horror. His parents had six, but... Fair enough.

I'm sorry. College, he had a friend in college. Wow, that is very interesting. Please tell me more. Wow, speaking of, Matt and Matt Parker and Trey Stone's first movie, Cannibal the Musical. Oh, that was... It was a trauma film. That's right.

The creators of South Park. Yes, yes. What were you going to say, the only one? Oh, it's like the only company that would release it. They took it out to Big Fancy Hollywood, and no one would touch it, said it was unreleasable. Of course they were. Lloyd's still making profit, you know, so who's the smart one? I wonder if they, I guess, do they still get checks from that?

Like, uh, I'm sure. 10 cent checks every quarter or something. I see some of those people, uh, it was one of the girls that was in return of the living dead and she sometimes posts royalty checks on social media for like 30 cents and less. Oh, really? Sometimes it's under a down. That's hilarious. She still gets them.

See, the thing is, if Matt and Trey wanted to sell those, like a 10-cent check, I would pay $100 for that. I might pay $1,000 for that. That would be a great thing. Particularly if they endorsed it. Absolutely. You used to be able to buy Mo Howard's checks. Oh, really?

Yeah, his daughter was selling them for a while. Wow. And basically, you were buying an authentic autograph, but she had a stack of checks that Mo had written to, you know, the other three stooges and just, you know, paying the plumbing bill and stuff like that. And then you get those checks back and she was selling them. I thought that was kind of cool. Absolutely.

I'd love to have something like that. I love the stooges anyway, you know. Of course. Who doesn't? Some females seem to dislike them, but men across the board almost like them. Show any woman that says they don't like the three stooges, show them microfonies. I don't know what that is. Microphonies is the one.

one where they had the, their friend was an opera singer and they were trying to help her out. Okay, yeah. And, I mean, it just showed that they were very kind to the women around them. The things that they did were kind of dysfunctional, but they were trying to help. So I think that's one. Absolutely. You know, here, cut yourself a sloss of throat. That's one of the lawns that evolved.

I love that line from the Stooges. Let me see if I can find. I think it's okay. This stuff's all public domain. at this point, right? Sure, yeah. So there's a scene in here where the opera singer

is trying to sing this aria called Viennes Sulmar means come to the sea. Let me see if this is it. Now that's Curley singing the voice of spring, but he's

lip-syncing. They have to dress him up as this diva because the lady, I don't remember the whole story, who cares? Hey, it's out there. Watch it on me TV. Yes, there you go, yeah. YouTube it. But, yeah, and Vienn de Sulemar, they want to sabotage this guy

so they keep flicking flicking cherries into his mouth. Yeah, I remember this, so it's great. So stupid. Oh, but that's the whole beauty of it. Yeah, true. I still miss vaudeville.

I was never there, but I still miss it. Yeah, yeah. And people try to bring it back, but you can't. No. Because we know that you're trying to be cute or whatever. Yeah. At that time, they were being serious. That was work.

It was work. Exactly right. All right. You want to answer some questions? And then we'll, Lydia brought a couple of stories, and I've got a couple, too. Number one thing. Don't take advice from some asshole on the radio. And this one is more of a stimulus for a discussion, I think. That might be pretty good.

Hello. folks. Miss you, tastey. Hey, I'm sitting here eating cheesy tater tots in their local driveway. I've got to think. Love the taste of them. Hate the smell of cheese.

So I got to think, out of the five senses that you have, which one do each of you think is the most important sense to have? Okay. So, yeah, this is a, hey, give us a call at 344-7-6-10. Tell us what your favorite sense is. It's our new radio bit. So we won't spend too much time on this, but the funny thing is that he says he loves the taste, but he hates the smell. But those two senses are linked.

Yes. If you lose your sense of smell, you're going to lose your sense of taste as well, except for very basic things like the tip of your tongue. You might be able to sense whether something's salty or the back of your tongue if it's sour or something like that. But other than that, have you ever lost your sense of smell, either one of you? During COVID. Yeah. Oh, sake. Yeah.

Smell and taste at the same time. I didn't lose mine during COVID. It was quite interesting. I was feeding my daughter and stuff, like, it was formula at that point. And it smells bad because it was one of those dairy-free formulas. Yeah, yeah, they stink. And in the middle of the night, I noticed, man, I can't smell this. That's how you knew you had it.

That was my first clue that I had COVID. Then I couldn't smell a dirty diaper for like three, four weeks. Oh, what's wrong with that? It was a bonus. It was a bonus, but I did miss smell and roses. My issue, when I lost my sense of smell, and I didn't lose it with COVID, I used, and I've seen a couple of studies, and I just did this out of just knee-jerk reflex, was I started using flonase. And they said intranasal steroids can decrease the smelling or the loss of smell and osmia, as we would call it in the medical profession, from COVID-19. So I never lost any, but I got the antibodies the next day, too, so it's hard to say.

But when I did lose my sense of smell, I had a sinus infection or something. And the thing I hated about was I would say if I was eating a sandwich, I couldn't tell if it was rotten. That's what really bugged me about it. That made me think that maybe our sense of taste is there to keep us from eating things that are rotten. And the fact that we can take pleasure from it is just a sense. secondary bonus sort of like intercourse you know that people forget that the reason that we put a penis in a vagina and make it go in and out and in and out until stuff comes out is because of procreation that's what that's what was created for but I would say most intercourse

that happens in 2021 is not done for procreation but rather for gravy for recreation mayonnaise and gravy I come gravy I heard well that's what you call a call back there except not really really it's a cum back oh boy I almost hate to boo that oh I love the booes

give me all those booze I want to hear more about this pushing back and forth gravy yeah so I can't remember why oh yeah so sex has a sort of secondary benefit of being entertaining

or recreational and the same thing with food but I really think that evolutionarily speaking it was there so that we wouldn't eat things that would make us sick or berries that are wrong so that you could taste the difference between a good berry and a bad berry, that kind of stuff

because it was weird that when I lost my sense of smell that's the first thing I thought of. Yeah. You know? Anyway, last time we were here you all weren't, but Scott was here and we were talking about hypnagogic episodes. These are the episodes that happen when you're just falling asleep

and all of a sudden you jerk wide awake, your whole body jerks. And I told him that when it happens to me, I always see a soccer ball being kicked at my face. Now, I played soccer in high school. He said when it happens to him, he always sees a baseball at somebody's pitching a baseball and it's going right to his head. So I said, I wonder. if these episodes are always associated with something from your life.

It's like I'm not seeing, you know, a giant amoeba or I'm not seeing a basketball. I didn't play basketball. Either one of those things I don't have any experience with. So someone emailed me and I asked them to call in, but I don't think they had the opportunity. They got attacked by a dog when they were a kid. And now when they have their hypnagogic episodes, it's always a dog jumping at them. So I wonder if you two guys have those episodes, and if you do, would you confirm our hypothesis? I do, but I can't.

You can't, okay. I don't know what's coming toward me, but I do get the feeling that right before I wake up, there's something coming toward me. Yeah. Now, the ones, this is going into sleep. Coming out of sleep is a different thing. Those are hypnopompic episodes. but I'm talking about the hypnagogic ones where you're just going to sleep and then boom you know something okay that's it for me so it just wait you just wake up but there's no imagery of anything sometimes you know my heart's pounding I'm kind of out of breath but it's just instant boom okay and so there's no imagery for you how about you PA Lydia yeah I don't have any imagery I have the sense that I'm falling yeah yeah like down some stairs or like you fell down a stair or from space maybe oh really yeah yeah Like quite a large fall.

Really? Wow. Have you ever died in your dreams, by the way? I have once. Me too, one time. Yes. I fell out of an airplane once and I died. I hit the ground and I died.

So both you guys are falling out of the sky. Yeah, but what that tells you is this myth that if you die in your dream, you're going die in real life. That's idiotic. Well, I'm here. I had some really profound dreams one time. So in PA school, you know, it's a bit stressful. And I was having difficulty sleeping.

So a kind physician gave me some sleeping medicine. What was it? So one was actually, you're going to laugh at this. It was an entire Parkinsonian agent because I was acting. So I was acting out my dreams. Okay. And so they did a sleep study and diagnosed me with some like periodic limb movement disorder. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So they give you a quatopine or something like that. I think it was, was it requit maybe? Yeah, okay. So anyway, weird medicines. Yeah, ropineral. Yeah, yep. And then the other one was Ambien. That was fun.

Not. Anyway, but I had these dreams all night when I was reing, I kept dying and being reincarnated. And it was great. At one point, I was decapitated. But I picked my own head up. And then I was able to, like, blast into space. Oh, wow. And then in another, I was a Chinese clothing designer.

Really? Yeah, so probably my true past life experience. I doubt it. That was the best dream. That was the best night I ever had. Really? You liked it? Yeah, it was pretty cool.

It was lasting. You wouldn't want to do it every night. No. So when you took Ambien, did you have any interesting effects? No, I was a good girl. I went to sleep. Okay. Yeah, I took it and went to sleep.

Because we used to have these friends, and they're not together anymore, but they would take an Ambien each and have what they called big sex night because they said having intercourse was better, and then they would fall asleep. afterward, and the wife would wake up at two in the morning, and her husband would be on a ladder outside second-story window washing their windows of their house. Wow. It's really good. Brought to you by Ambien. Yeah.

Yeah. And what the... I don't want to take anything that's going to make me work. Well, but he wasn't aware of it. So if you could do something where you would do work, but you would sleep through it, might be okay. Kaylee, you heard that one. Except you're not getting good sleep. And when it starts happening, it just gets worse.

It will not get better if you keep taking the medicine. So I don't want to work. I don't care if I even remember it. I don't want to sweat. Have you not seen the size of this? You know, you were talking about sex and food. Obviously, you can look at me and tell I get a lot more of food. One and the other.

Yeah. And the more food that you get, the less sex. you end up having. Absolutely. Interesting, isn't that? Okay, very good. All right. Let's take another phone call.

Oh, so, oh, so his question was, what sense would you lose? Or which is more, the most important, right? Which one would you not want to lose? So touch is pretty important. If I had to lose, if I could only have one, I guess touch would be the one that you'd have to have to be able to interact with the outside world. But I don't want to lose any. You know, the thought of, I have peripheral neuropathy now, so I'm living in a world where I don't have as much touch as I once did.

It's hard for me to, for me to tie a gown around my back, I can't do it anymore. I used to, I had great manual dexterity. I could tie knots with my eyes closed when I was a Cub Scout, but I can't do it anymore. I have to be able to see it, so that kind of sucks. Now, my peripheral neuropathy is a whole lot better than it was because I took a bunch of. of nutritional supplements. You did? Amphylopoic acid?

Yes, I did. Very good. Give yourself a bill. And glutamine, and I took myoanacetol and gamma E. And all of those together really did make a huge difference. In my peripheral neuropathy, anyway. But, yeah, I kind of live in a world without 100% touch right now, and it does suck. But at least I can watch a movie, and I can listen to music.

and I can taste. Yeah. I was thinking I would want to keep my hearing. Yeah. Just trying to think for safety and pleasure. Yeah. I don't know. I don't want to lose anything.

They're all important. They are. It's like which organ? It's like all your organs arguing which one's most important. It's like, well, you can do without one of your kidneys. You can do without part of your liver. But you can't do without all of your kidneys or all of your liver. So, and if you don't have a brain, you know, your heart, I mean, pick one.

You can't really live without them. Who was it that got chained to the rock and the seabird was pecking out of the liver and they kept regenerating? Yeah, that was, was that was. Was that Prometheus? Yeah, it was a Stephen King story. Indeed. Stephen King's story. I try to use that when I'm talking to cancer patients about their liver.

Really? At one time, I do mention Prometheus. Do you remember why he was chained to a rock? I did not get that part. He brought fire to humans from the gods, and he wasn't supposed to do that. Oh. Yeah. I stole fire.

My joints. Thank you. Thank you, Prometheus. Yeah, and you're a damn good movie, too. I don't care what the sci-fi nerds say. Well, yeah, that's a whole other topic. I was very disappointed with Prometheus when I first saw it, and it's grown on me a little bit, but you have to watch all the web shit that came before it

where you see Guy Pearce as a young guy so that it makes sense later that they've just got a young guy dressed up as an old guy. Why just not get a fucking old guy? And then, oh, and then, you know, what's her name? Charlize Theron. It's like, oh, okay, father. And it's like, oh, it's supposed to be a big revelation.

Well, nobody knew who any of these people were who nobody cared. I agree with you until you found The storytelling, it needed an extra 40 minutes of storytelling to build all that stuff up. Then it would have been pretty cool. I agree with you. I do.

But I just take what I can get nowadays with big budgets. Let him do what they did was Zach Snyder, though. Oh, my God, yes. You watch the shit Justice League movie, the Joss Whedon. Oh, boo. Now we need the boo audience. Okay, there you go. Thank you.

And then. You watch Zach Snyder's Justice League. Beautiful. It's a beautiful film. It is gorgeous. The guy is a genius. And I will never doubt him again. I think he has some weird notes in his storytelling.

I'll give you two examples. We're just going to turn this into nerd. So you watch any of this stuff, Lydia? I do not. Oh, Jesus. Good for you. But I'll listen. You're going to learn some things.

I like it. I like it. I like Clark Kent's dad. Oh, spoiler alert. in Man of Steel should not have died in a tornado with Clark watching. That was the shitty part. That's the one part that I watch in that movie. The whole point of Clark, of Paw Kent dying,

is that Superman has to understand that there are things, no matter how powerful he is, there are things he can't control. And he's going to have loss in his life that he can't do shit about. And that's what turns him into a human, really. That's, yeah, that's part of the be out. But, you know, Paul Kent is walking into a tornado, and Clark is sitting there in an underpass going, Well, you know, what's going to happen, Paul?

It's stupid. And he actually sounds like that when you watch the movie. Just have Paul can't just keel over in the cornfield of a heart attack. I have a heart attack. Yes, nothing Clark can do about that. Yeah. Number two, the Martha scene in Batman v. Super. Okay, put your gloves on.

All right. Now, listen to me. Let me tell you something. I love the idea. When I saw it, I said, I cannot believe. that no one before now has thought to exploit the idea that Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne, their mother had the same name. Now, what I didn't like was the ham-handed way it was done.

Go help Martha. You would not say that about your mother. You would say, go help my mom, or they've got my mom. They wouldn't say they've got Martha, and then why did you say that name? What humanizes Superman for Batman is the fact that he has a mother. Now, how would an alien have a mother? And then he would say, you know, what, wait a minute, what? And it's like, yeah, her name is Martha Kent.

Martha, well, my mother's name was Martha, too. That's how they bond. There would be a way to do that. Instead of Amy Adams going, that's his mother's name, you know. But I think the idea was great. It was the way it was executed that sucked. Now, having said that. The rescue of Martha Kent is the greatest

What an action scene. Superhero action scene that's ever been filmed. I've gone back and watch that same. Oh, me too, dude. Me too. And it's on YouTube. You can just watch just that. I'll masturbate to that later tonight.

I know, me too. Hey, I got one thing I would like to say in defense of the storytelling on that Martha bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the very first line of the movie. They make it a point to, to. His mom's name is the first thing in the movie. Interesting. So I kind of, that's why.

Really? I mean, during the flashback? In the flashback, yeah. When he was a kid and the parents got killed. They make it a point to go, hey, Bruce's mom's name, Martha. How did they actually do it? I don't remember that. They hate this so bad.

No, no, no. I read all the social media gripe, and I'm like, but it totally works. You're just forgetting. The idea works so well. but just the way he... Yeah, I understand it was shorthand. He wouldn't call his mom, Martha. I'd never even thank you for bringing that to my attention. They've got Martha.

Why did you say that name? Yeah, no, that's not what he would say. They've got my mom. Ben Affleck, best Batman ever on a screen. Oh, I'm going to get hate for that. Nope, not from me. Ben Affleck is my Batman. Oh, absolutely.

And of course, Keith. I loved all the rest of them. Gotta love Keaton, you know. And I cannot wait. I don't hear this show is just gone to hell Boy, how about all this Batman medicine? I have a comment Yeah

Ben Affleck was one of our secret pictures that we sent to our evacuees to show the bus driver Because of Argo Yeah Yeah, but anyway, that's about all I know about Ben Affleck. Okay, well, Ben Affleck is back to it, Batman.

Comic nerds over here going off? Yeah, it was good. I'm going to YouTube that video, the masturbation video. Oh, yeah, the masturbation video. We said, what is it? The bruise of the big bat. man fight scene when he said the rescue mission oh yeah yeah yeah yeah rescue

of Martha it's just it's incredible it is unbelievable yeah and that's a good movie thank you yeah the ultimate edition they hated it no like a year before it hit theaters again the theater edition kind of sucked but the

the director's cut made it all make sense because now you've got the KG beast through the whole movie instead of just in one little thing going why was he even there yeah and people don't even notice That's who that is. Studio fucked that whole thing up. Again.

Snodder saved me with superheroes. Yeah. Other than the greatest superhero ever, the toxic Avenger from Trauma, director of Lloyd Kaufman. But that will always be my hero right there. But, yeah, I have a super special nerd spot for Batman. Yeah, me too. I can't wait for the Robert Pattinson version, too.

And I'll tell you why. The Riddler is not some, well, Well, he was in the old sort of silver age. Sure. But is not some guy in green tights with question marks all over him. He has a problem. He's a serial killer. Yeah, he has a problem.

And he has a real problem. He wants to be caught, just like BTK wanted to be caught. And he's leaving clues, but he's also very smart and they're hard to decipher. So we're finally going to see Batman as a detective. All the comics when I was a kid, the world. greatest detective the world's greatest detective and then all the movies you know he's fighting aliens and or beating the shit out of you know it's all technology or something there's no detective work right and uh so he's going to be a detective

the riddler is a true terrifying serial killer i always said that the movie seven you've seen seven okay that is a movie that is the ridler yeah it's the ridler it's just didn't have batman in it sure just like the joker was you know joker was you know Joker was the Joker didn't have Batman in it. Absolutely. And I think Todd Phillips was going to make that movie called something else, and then they decided, you know, if we put this in the Batman sort of near universe, we'll make a lot more money.

And he was right. Well, that billion dollars. Did he make that decision or did the brothers make that decision? Fair enough, fair enough. I mean, yeah, you know, but that movie is fabulous and it's going to be looked over probably just for the slick, pretty comic movies. Anyway, well, there you go. All right.

So that was Stacey's thing And it just went off the rails Thanks Stacey Here we go Here's a non-COVID question Hey Dr. Steve I got a non-COVID question Kind of

Ah, never mind Dude, call back We'll answer it Whatever it is, we don't care I want to talk to you, call back All right, here we go Hey Dr. Steve Sorry this sounds shitty

Because I'm improvving this question And also this question is a little late But I wanted to get Okay number one please improv your questions don't write them down and read them those are the worst so improv questions are the best your opinion about a annual event that happens during the month of November I'm not sure you heard this before but it's called no nut November and basically it is exactly what sounds like where a lot of people a lot of guys and some females they

will go the entire month of November without any masturbation or sex and the goal is to not bust the nut. So I want to see what your opinion about it is because there's a bunch of different people that says that, oh, doing that will increase your risk of prostate cancer or is actually pretty bad for you, while other people say that, you know, abstinence actually improves your mental health and all sorts of other federal science was not. Yeah, okay. Well, this is what I have to say. All right. For real. No, not November.

I hear about this. I'm not, it's, if you want to reduce prostate cancer by ejaculating, you've got to do it 21 times a month. Not a problem. Yeah, okay, well, it's easy for you to say. But other than that, even if you're doing it 10 times a month and you have average risk for prostate cancer, which is that, you know, about 50% of men, if you do an autopsy on all men over 75% of, that didn't die of prostate cancer, about half of them will have early malignant changes in their prostate.

It just didn't do anything to them. So it's very common. I don't think that going a month without ejaculating is going to hurt anything. Now, when I was a follower of Krishna consciousness, when I was in college, they had this thing about not ejaculating and that it built up energy in your body. And what it did was build up sexual tension, at least for me, for them, they were perfectly enlightened, I guess, but I certainly was not. And it was very uncomfortable for me. But I think that it's fine.

Look, if it makes you feel better to go a month without ejaculating, I have no problem with it. I don't think there's anything that it's going to do to you that's negative unless you're just pathologically obsessing about it, you know? If it wasn't for masturbation, I would have blown up years ago. You think so? Absolutely. I would have just been a huge Thanksgiving Day balloon full of semen and exploded. Really? Absolutely.

Good Lord. Yeah, I've never really had that sort of extreme reaction to it. Now, when I was 18, it was two, three times a day, easy. You could, you know, but anyway. Can't relate, guys. No, I know. It's different, isn't it? semen.

It's really different for women. But I do just, when I teach PA students, obviously, it's one of the metrics when we talk about prostate cancer is the ejaculatory frequency being protective, but as you said, it's greater than 21 times per month. Right. Now, you weren't here for our annual October Testicle Fest. We always do our, we did our first show on Cirrus XM on October 13th, 2007, and in that show, we took 20 minutes to go through a proper self-testicular exam.

It's why I say, check your stupid nuts for lumps at the end of this show, every single show for the last, however many years that is, because young men aren't taught to check their testicles, and testicular cancer is a young man's disease. So we do that every October and just our annual thing. And almost every year, somebody will email me saying, hey, I find you. found something when we did that, yeah, it was something, and they took it out and I'm okay. Yeah, wonderful. Check your stupid nuts for lumps.

We're not kidding. The sports physicals, when I was back in Missouri doing urgent care, I would have a sports physical week or something like that, and the kids would, like, hate to come to me because I made them to do the testicular exam every single one if they were above a certain age, you know. Sure. It's important. And adolescent boys don't want, you know, a hot PA checking out their junk. I mean, they do...

Or me. Not... Oh, come on. Don't be modest. It doesn't suit you. But it's... They do want a hot PA to check out their junk, just not in that setting. Not in a clinical setting.

It could be awkward. Freaks them out. Anyway. So, I'll tell you this. If you're going to do No Nut November, just make sure that, let's just make a deal. If you're going to do that, which I think is totally fine, do whatever the hell you want, do. Take that opportunity to do self-testicular exam. How about that? And use that month to do all of your health screening that you haven't done. Remember, colonoscopy now is 45. How old are you now?

22. Shut up. Whatever. I'm over the age. How old are you? Don't be coy. You're a guy. Oh, God, you hurt me with this. What? I'm terrible with this because I act like I'm 12. I'm a 12-year-old punk rock. kid that's about to hit 50 next year. Okay, so you're 49? Yeah. Okay, so have you had your colonoscopy? This is why I'm asking. I've avoided it. Okay. Every time it's brought I avoid it. You should stop.

I know, you're right. It's the best sleep ever, apparently. Well, you get some Michael Jackson's magic milk. Oh, really? Yeah, that's what they give you. Oh, my goodness. But then you have to have somebody drive you. I'm going to recommend that you do it without anesthesia. Number one, I will, it's called, is it Schadenfreude, in other words, where you enjoy someone else's discomfort?

Hey. And I know you, but the thing I liked about it was it is uncomfortable. Oh, yeah. And it is weird when you see, if you're looking at the monitor, the last thing you see before they enter the colon is a giant screen full of your anus. Oh, wow, what have I been waiting on? Yeah, and then they shove the thing in there, and then it's all just mucous membrane, it's fine. But that's, to me, it's just burned in my memory

of just seeing this giant six-foot screen of nothing but just... Oh, my God, it was six feet of anus? Yes. I'm telling them, I'll go daily. I mean, the screen's gigantic so they can see it, and they can shove this thing, this tube in. My goodness. And so they no longer look through the scope.

They look at the screen, right? And I'm looking at the screens. I'm like, oh, my God, what is that? Wow. What is that hairy octopus? Oh, my God, that's my ass. Oh, no, that's not anime. So there you go, guys.

That's another reason to get it done is you get six feet of anus. What's the tentacle anime called? What's that? Porn. No, but it's porn. It's tentacle anime porn. There's a name for it. I can't do that.

Oh, I don't know. I don't think I ever stepped past Godzilla. That was good enough for me. Yeah, good for you. But it's, yeah, it's, it's, yeah, it's. That part's grotesque. And then if it gets stuck, they have to start just shoving foot after foot after foot in there, and it coils up, and then you get your pain kind of goes to 11, but just for a

couple of seconds. And then it's back down to a tolerable level again. Pain never got past maybe a four or a five. And then what's great is when they pull the thing out, you pull up your drawers, and you go to work. You don't have to have somebody drive you. You're not stupid for a day because you think you're fine on that. At Propheaval, you are not.

You're goofy, A.F. And I highly recommend doing it without anesthesia. I really do. Spoken like a true physician. I guess. You can go and back to work. I do it at 7 in the morning. Pull up my drawers and go on rounds.

Yeah, what were you going to say? Well, just hearkening back to PA school during rotations, there was a physician who really need the carpal tunnel surgery but also needed to work. And so they just did local. I like an extremity block where everyone else for the day I would sleep for it I would sit there like this

and I would they'll put a screen up so you're not coughing in the field and then I just have a book or my iPad and just be doing that I would do it that way too I don't want to be put asleep unless I have to

I have always been the first time I got put asleep I was terrified that I was going to start screaming some sort of sexist or even racial epithets that were just buried in there, but, you know, it's not anything I ever think about or would ever say, and I'm not

like that, but the second it happens when you're under anesthesia and you start screaming something horrible, people will be like, mm-hmm, see how he is, you know, and I was terrified of that loss of control, but it didn't happen, thank God. I have the same fear, to be honest, because I do have a terrible mouth and I tell really bad taste jokes, but they're jokes. Right, right, right, right. I love everybody, real, as long as they're just not a dick. And so professional, I'm over here, you know, yelling about penis.

But, yeah, I would think that's scary. I was honestly wondering about that. But I've never seen it happen, and I never did it. So I felt okay about it. Now, if they're going to do an upper endoscopy where they stick that tube down my throat, yeah, they're putting me out for that because I've got a gag reflex. Just if I open my mouth and just get something close to my mouth, I'll start gagging. Hey, would you like to go on a date?

that's not true you're a little too I got one for you here's a good one this is a medical mystery and PA Lydia I think you'll know the answer to this one

Hey Dr. Steve I've got a question and a suggestion Okay First for the question Okay Now is the real brain buster Dr. Steve

Let's see if you can solve this one If I'm standing here in my room And I've got a table on my left And a chair on my right And I can see both of them In my peripheral vision Yes. If I turn to the left, so I'm facing the table, I can't see the chair at all anymore.

Now, Dr. Steve, if I do a 180-degree turn, now I'm facing the chair, I can't see the table. Okay, we're running out of time. You know what it is? What is it called? Him and the... Hemian Opsia? No. No, what is it?

That could be an answer where you've lost half of your vision. I think just Google foveal blind spot. What he's doing is he's putting that chair in his body. line spot. And what it is is where you have your retina. Well, all of those nerve cells have to collect in one place and then go into the retinal nerve, the optic nerve to go to the brain. And at that point, when there's light projected on there, you can't see anything because there's no cells there, but the brain will fill it in so that we're not sitting here thinking that there's holes in our vision, but there are. But the brain fills them in, just like Photoshop

does when it does that spot healing it takes the pixels from around it and fills it in and that's what it is but you can test it uh there's go just google google foveal blind spot and there's some tests that you can do online to demonstrate it for yourself it's pretty cool but yeah hemianopsie i would take that that's where someone's had say a stroke and they've lost half their vision i think it's more benign than that he wouldn't that certainly to goodness he would understand everything's cancer to me yeah of course well you know me too Because I work in a peripheral field. You work in oncology, and I'm in a peripheral specialty.

And, yeah, any ailment that I have, I immediately, it's cancer. Or if I think of something, if somebody says something, I have to get it out of my head. Yeah, it's weird, isn't it? Sort of like those hypnagogic things. We are just what our experience is. I almost look forward to getting cancer, just so I can... So you can come see us? Just so I can come see you.

Please put my anus on six feet of screen. You can come and you can just come see me and not have to have anything. I mean, the last time I saw you, you were in the emergency room with a dome-like lesion on your back. Yeah, I think there was a family of little people living under my skin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was huge. And that's how we found out you were diabetic. Oh, yeah.

So how's that going? Well, it was great. I could just stroke off with a big ego and say how wonderful. I did. I came off the insulin needles. Oh, you did? I did. Yeah.

Well, you've lost a ton of weight. And I've gained a ton back. Oh, have you? Yeah, I really have. Now, that sugar, of course. That sugar diabetes will come back on you. It's a creepin' up on me. Okay, we can't do this.

We can't do it. Our listeners will. Yeah, sugar diabetes from trauma. No. But, yeah, I've really got to get, and I am going to get right back on to the path of getting things better. So you, you're. your blood sugar that day

and you had been feeling bad and then you had a giant abscess on your back. Huge because I'm stubborn. Well, and your skin and your fluids are a really good culture media more than usual because they're full of sugar and bacteria

love that stuff. So they checked your blood sugar with something like 600 if I remember right. I mean it was crazy high and up until that time you didn't know that you were diabetic because you hadn't been the doctor and hardly amount. entire life. Yeah.

So you, they put you on insulin right away because it was so crazy high. And then, so tell people what you did to basically cure yourself of diabetes, at least temporarily. Well, it's truly just diet and exercise. Yeah. That is truly for me anyway. Yeah. So some people can hear you. Oh, yeah.

I shouldn't talk to the laptop. But it's diet and exercise. that's really it yeah that's it worked for me anyway and and it's going to work for anyone really people it doesn't sound like a treatment well you should eat better and you should work out more but it is a treatment it is it's just like fatty liver there isn't any treatment for that other than diet and exercise basically yeah it works that I can really say that it does work and if you know diabetic folk that are down yeah it's not fun living on

mostly vegetables but in water you get used to it then you get used to it and you do feel so much better just physically waking up you feel better instantly you know people say you hit your head against the wall

because it feels so much better when you stop and when you're just abusing your body eating shit and doing nothing it really does feel better when you stop doing that. You do. You just get used to it.

And you like what you, I always say you like what you eat. So once you eat, like you get your routine in and you start enjoying fresh fruits and vegetables and things like that as opposed to fries. Pries are good, though. They're pretty good. But it's like, I always say everything in moderation, including everything in moderation. In other words, every once in why you've got to blow it out your ass. But that's only true to a certain extent.

Like, I can't blow it out my ass every once in a while and smoke a cigarette. If I do, I'll be smoking again. Exactly. That's me with the diet and exercise bit. If, you know, people are like, oh, you know, break it for the day. Have a little of this. Have a little of that. Oh, those are not your friends.

I can't. Because as soon as I break it, it's over. Right. So, yeah. Yeah, those are shitty friends. Well, they are. I heard that, guys. Fuck off.

They're shitty friends. Here, have this pound of cheese. cake fatty right no that's there people are like that and it's like if you're an alcoholic and you've got your drinking buddies going oh you can just have one beer it's the same thing it is the same thing it's the same thing because i'm probably to be honest just have a problem with food yeah and discipline i've never disciplined myself or anything i've never been taught to eat healthy It's just take in everything as much as you can. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Reveal in life. Yeah, yeah. You get the same hormonal release, right, from like an orgasm sometimes, like oxytocin release with food intake. Some people have that. Sure, well, it hits that pain and pleasure center for sure. Yeah, definitely. So, yeah, now, if that's true, I don't know that it is,

and I want to do some research on that? Yeah. If you get oxytocin release with pleasurable food, then I think you could train yourself to find pleasure in food by supplementing oxytocin. So oxytocin is a hormone in the brain, to just be very simple about it, that does several things. One is it is, it facilitates bonding between mother and child when they're breastfeeding. You can also use it in injectable form to contract a floppy, uterus after birth and it also is called the trust hormone where if you spray it up your

nose you immediately trust the people who are around you really yeah which i would think in sort of the mind control type experiments oxytocin might be something very interesting to experiment on but so if you are having trouble getting off your your food and liking say a grilled chicken salad, maybe you could condition yourself by halfway through the meal, spraying some oxytocin up your nose. You know where you can get oxytocin? Any pharma, any compounding pharmacy can make it. Really?

Really? It's over the counter. Reading here that there are some oxytocin containing foods. Ooh. Fatty fish, mushrooms, peppers, tomatoes, spinach, and avocados. Mm. Wow. I tear all those up.

Ooh. Yes. I really do. That's a large part of it. So what could you make? You could make some kind of freaky guacamole with what? With spinach and avocados, mushrooms. What else?

Tomatoes, peppers, and then a side of a nice fatty fish. Probably not catfish, right? Yeah. I don't know. Probably like. Don't eat Escalar, though. Have you ever had Escalar? I have not.

If it's ever on the menu, do not order it. And the chefs out there are yelling at the screen right now. Now, if you eat more than six ounces, Escalar is also known as butterfish, so if you see that on the menu, and more than six ounces of that stuff, and it will be like you just did a colon prep. It has a fat that's indigestible by the human body, and it will just sail right through you. And on the way home from the restaurant, you're going to have to stop and shit on the side of the road. Voluminous, watery, oily, orange, oily diarrhea. personal experience. Well, yes, in a way, I had just read about it in some, I don't know, pathology journal or something.

And then I went to a restaurant that night, and that was their feature. And it was like, hell no, I'm not ordering that shit. It's supposed to be a really tasty fish, though. But, you know, if you're bound up, I guess it'd be good, get you some escler. Natural way. All right. Let's answer another question, and then we'll get the hell out. out of here, okay. Oh, I got this one. This is weird. And then I finally listened to it all the way

through and then I see what it is. Hang on. Press Nye, and the manual customer service will serve you. So this is obviously a scam, and it's aimed at people of Chinese descent, I'm guessing, because the first part of the message is in what sounds to me like a Chinese dialect. I could be wrong. Somebody that understood what she said call us. But I don't understand the scam on this one. So I've been watching this guy, Kit Boga.

You ever watch him? Does he like scams, scammers? Yeah, yeah, he trolls the scammers. I love this guy. And there's several of them on there. And the one that I know about is a scam where they say they're going to give you a refund. Well, first they ask you, do you want to renew your antivirus with us? It's $400.

But if you don't want to, we'll refund your money. And you go, well, of course, I want the refund. I don't remember we're getting it. And then when they refund it, they get into the HTML on your screen because you have to give them control of your computer. They'll go in and edit it. You can do this. You can go to any website. And if you know what you're doing, you can go over to the right and go to the source code and change it.

And what they do is they go, oh, no, I accidentally put $4,000 in your account instead of $400. And I'm going to be fired and I'm going to, my wife is going to divorce me and all this stuff. and they give you this song and dance. And then what they want you to do is go, and this is always the kicker, go to Walmart and get gift cards and then give them the numbers, right? That one I understand. And one of my nurse practitioners got snared into this one. She's one of the smartest people I know.

They got her good for about $4,000. And they'll take less well what Kit Bogut does. It's always funny. Just Google him on or search for him on. YouTube. Some of his stuff is too long because he does live streams where he's doing him, but when he cuts them down and does sort of a beginning, a middle end, they're really good

because he'll do things like, act like a little old lady, and he's got this voice modulator, and like she's really stupid. And she'll go, okay, well, I'm redeeming these cards, and she'll redeem them to her own account, and you can hear the guy just screaming, no, no, do not. I do

not tell you to redeem that card. You know, it's so much fun. It just gives these people a heart attack. But I don't understand what this one is where you didn't sign for a package and if you click something obviously they're going to scam you in some way but i wonder what it is it might be that they sent you gold or gold or something and you they need you to pay a fee to get it out of out of hawk or something like that i'm wondering but if anybody knows what that scam is let me know because i'm intrigued by these I do know that I need to help a Nigerian king move $40,000 out of Africa.

Right, right, right, right, right, right, right. Do you help with that? Sure, sure. Yeah, I've had that one. I've had the one where I have a relative. I'm the only living relative in Ireland, and they left a bunch of money. You have to pay the lawyer a fee to get the money out. And they'll keep sucking it out of you until you finally just tell them to go screw themselves.

Wow. Now, that's a short con, you know, but it's pretty effective, apparently. They make millions of dollars. All right, let's do this one. We'll get out of here. Hey, Dr. Steve. It's Bernadette from Maine. Hey, Bernad.

Just want to thank you for your testicular examination show. Oh, thank you. We were just talking about that. They're eight years old, seven years old. I'm like, you know, I should get them into starting this. You know, it's never too young to be aware. So they're taking a shower and I'm being all, you know, professional. I'm a health care provider.

So I'm like, all right, you've got to lift up your penis and touch your testicle and your sclerotum, using all the medical language. I just told my youngest, like, yeah, you can get something that'll make you sick, but they'll take it out, it'll be okay. Okay, for an eight-year-old, that's terrifying. So that might be a little young, but okay, you know your kids better than I do. All this, like, yeah, you could get cancer very rare, but let's just make sure you can get it early,

and I was not trying to be very relaxed. Yeah, I get it. But when you tell your kid, check your nuts, and if there's something bad there, it'll make you sick and they can take it out. Oh, my God. You've just given them the stuff of nightmares. Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't have done it, but I'm just saying that, you know, we've got to be very careful about to traumatize these kids. You know, when I say it's a young man's disease, I'm talking about people in their teens and 20s. Yeah, I was just looking, I think 14 to 18 is the, is the media.

When it slips from very rare to rare. Oh, okay. Oh, very good. Thank you. Thank you. Not everything, but, you know, let's make this a habit. I need you have you on every week. You live a far long way away from here, though, don't you?

That's too bad. That's too bad. We could pay you even. I could fly. Well, the thing is, okay, anyway, you do the things that, Scott's not here that I wish that other co-hosts that I've had would do. You know what I mean? Because I'm a PA. Yeah, maybe.

I anticipate your needs. Thank you. Yes. so what does he do he gets out of the shower run through his father Papa Mama said that I could get

Balsat cancer I'm like cool great thanks You know what your way works for me so thank you again hopefully you've possibly

saved their lives or one of their friends' lives or traumatize the shit out of them I don't know but I'm thank you for doing that it is important

I do not know why every woman knows how to do a self-breast exam, but almost no guys have any clue that they're supposed to be checking their knots. Now, maybe they tell them in health class, and you know how eighth graders, eighth-grade boys are,

they just aren't listening. Maybe that's all it is, but I just don't, I think there is a dichotomy between how we teach women, health, maintenance, and how we teach boys or men health maintenance. I see a huge disparity there.

Well, plus we have this already bias, right, when talking about it, like, oh, we assume they will be very uncomfortable, which probably they will. So then you try to sugarcoat things or you yourself are awkward when speaking about it. Like, your mom felt awkward about it. Yeah, but she did a good job. Yeah, she did. It's amazing to me how large testicular tumors are when they present.

Like, clearly you've known. about it well if you did I can't I mean a lot of guys unless it's pushing it's unless it's putting pressure on their nuts in their underwear

they're not touching their nuts for the most part really no I mean they'll wash around them and stuff like that and I mean they'll wash their scrot them and stuff but you're not just feeling around well most people will some do

she said something about cancer of the ball sack. Yeah, right? So first occupational cancer documented. Chimney sweeps. The little kids got scleral cancer. Oh, that's right. That's right.

Wow. I forgot about that. Give yourself a bill. Yeah. Interesting. That is interesting, isn't it? Yeah, it was the nitrosamines and the soot. Yeah.

Very interesting. All right. Yeah, all of a sudden, the camera just goes off, says, do you want to use the audio from the Brio camera? It's like, no. Stop asking. me that. I don't know what, hopefully we've got a show recorded here. Anyway, Jesus. You can cut something out of this. You think?

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. I have somebody to congratulate and then we'll get out of here. Hey, Dr. Steve. This is John. Hey, John. From Idaho. I called a few days ago and told you that my daughter, she was an RN, and she was vaccinated before. She knew that she was pregnant. Oh, okay. And she was in a few days before her due date. Okay. She delivered a 7.9 pound boy.

Yay. On Thanksgiving at 10.7 p.m. Okay. On my birthday. Excellent. He's happy, healthy. I was going to say 10 fingers and 10 toes, but. and it really burns my ex-wife's ass because that's my birthday is November 25th.

So just to let you know, no problems so far. Good, good, good. I'm glad to hear it. Yeah, there is a lot of fear regarding the vaccine and pregnant women, and I would be cautious as well. I think that's fine. anytime you do just about anything in the last trimester

though they're in a whole lot that you can screw up on a kid at that point so all right good well I'm glad she's okay and give her our best and congratulations Papua congratulations on the baby there you go Papa well listen let's

get out of here thanks Shannon Wallin you want to plug anything hey sure thank you when I mean plug I mean, is there something that you would like for people to look at it? Oh, wrong kind of plugging.

Hey, if you want some really bad taste or things that are bizarre, maybe come check out my little YouTube channel. Just look up my name and should be there. I'm looking for it right now. Oh, there you are. Okay. Come by and say hi on some social media platform or something. I'm subscribing right now. And then you did Saturday Night Grind House.

I did. That was 13 years ago. This is a promo? Promo, yeah. Let's play it. Does Saturday? Do you like science fiction? Do you like horror movies?

Tune in. Saturday nights, 9 o'clock, Saturday knock, Rundhouse. Science fiction, madmen, horrors, cannibal, zombie, cemetery, space madmen. Tune in and lose your mind. They not have a script? Yeah, but boy, I just slung that out the window and went off. They were fine with it, you know. See, I want to do...

Justin Simpson, thank you. There's two things I want to do. I want to be a wrestling ring announcer, and I did a promo for Vinnie Palino's wrestling podcast. Wow. Let me see if I can find that real quick. And now, making his way to the microphone from Rochester. Oh, that kind of server.

Laying in none of your fucking business. He is, the conqueror of consequences, the excellence of eating. The best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be. At pizza. The People's Creep Vinnie Paulino So I was trying to do a Michael Buffer But I was doing it in here

It's hard to shout in here So I could probably do better If I was in a crowd with a microphone But the other thing The other thing I would like to do Is do what you did Like a Saturday Night grind house But I'd do a Paul

Was it Paul Flaherty from Saturday night Or CCTV? Oh my. Oh, goodness. Count Floyd's scary stories. Scary kids. Yes. Yeah, I want to do that.

Joe Flaherty. Yeah. I grew up on that. And he would talk about the rat pack. Oh, yes. They didn't have any horror movies. They just had old shitty rat pack movies. It's been so many years since I've seen this, but John Candy eventually had some.

The pack of rats. Yeah, John Candy did Dr. Tongue's 3D. house of pancakes. That was it. Yeah. And he goes, lean into the camera. Right, because it was 3D.

More pancakes and it drew, G, G, G, and then he go back and forth. That's so great. Ham-handed 3D shit. Oh, it's great. Something I would do. All right, let's get out of here.

Thank you, Shannon. Check him out on YouTube. Shannon Wallen. Just search, go to YouTube, search Shannon Wallen. You'll see some crazy shit you wish you never saw. Absolutely. And then, PA, Lydia, go ahead and plug your things again. Yeah, aside from your routine cancer screenings like colonoscopy started at age 45.

Yes. Or 10 years before your first degree relative got colon cancer. Absolutely. Keep Afghanistan in your thoughts. Take a peek at taskforce Argo.com, allied extract.org. It's not over. Okay. The links will be on our website too at Dr.Steve.com.

We can't forget, Rob Sprantz, Bob Kelly, Greene. Greg Hughes, Anthony Coomia, Jim Norton, Travis Teft, That Gould Girl, Lewis Johnson, Paul Ophcharski, Chowdy 1008, Eric Nagel, the Port Charlotte Horror Shannon, the Saratoga Skank, and the Florida Flusie, Roland Campos, sister of Chris, Sam Roberts, she who owns pigs and snakes, Pat Duffy, Dennis Falcone, Matt Kleinshmidt, Dale Dudley, Holly from the Gulf, Christopher Walkins, a magical double. Steve Tucci, the great Rob Bartlett, Vicks, nether fluids, Cardiff Electric, Casey's wet t-shirt, Carl's deviated septum, the inimitable Vincent Paulino, Eric Zane, Bernie and Sid, Martha from Arkansas's daughter, Ron Bennington, and of course, our dear departed friend, Fez Watley, who's supported this show, never went unappreciated, listen to our Serious XM show on the Faction Talk channel, SiriusXM Channel 103, Saturdays at 7 p.m. Eastern, Sunday at 6 p.m. Eastern on demand and other times at Jim McClure's pleasure.

Many thanks to our listeners whose voicemails and topic ideas make this job very easy. Go to our website at Dr. Steve.com for schedules, podcasts, and other crap. Until next time, check your stupid nuts from lumps. Quit smoking, get off your asses and get some exercise. We'll see you in one week for the next edition of Weird Medicine. Pull the string. Pull the string. Edward D. Wood.

Karloff doesn't deserve to smell my shit. You know how to win my heart. Thank you.