Weird Medicine: The Podcast - 505 - Completing The Transaction

Episode Date: May 12, 2022

Dr Steve, Dr Scott, and Tacie discuss: Premature Ejaculation and how to treat it non-pharmacologically Delayed Ejaculation, causes and workup The Sudden Urge to Defecate in a Bookstore actually has a name Erectile dysfunction during intercourse and more! Please visit: stuff.doctorsteve.com (for all your online shopping needs!) simplyherbals.net (now with CBD nasal spray!) Cameo.com/weirdmedicine (Book your old pal right now while he’s still cheap!) noom.doctorsteve.com (the link still works! Lose weight now before swimsuit season!) CHECK US OUT ON PATREON!  ALL NEW CONTENT! Robert Kelly, Mark Normand, mystery guests! Stuff you will never hear on the main show ;-) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What bag likes hot water? Tea bag. I find it hard to trust mermaids. There's something a little fishy about them. What's the name of the night who started a food delivery app? Sir Charge If you just read the bio for Dr. Steve, host of Weird Medicine on Sir XM 103,

and made popular by two really comedy shows, Opie and Anthony and Ron and Fez, you would have thought that this guy was a bit of, you know, a clown. Why can't you give me the respect that I'm entitled to? I've got diphtheria crushing my esophagus. I've got Ebola vibes stripping from my nose. I've got the leprosy of the heartbells, exacerbating my incredible woes. I want to take my brain out and blast with the wave, an ultrasonic, ecographic, and a pulsating shave.

I want a magic pill. All my ailments, the health equivalent of citizen cane. And if I don't get it now, in the tablet. I think I'm doing then I'll have to go insane. I want a requiem for my disease. So I'm paging Dr. Steve.

From the world famous Cardiff Electric Network Studios, it's weird medicine, the first and still only uncensored medical show in the history of broadcast radio. Now a podcast. I'm Dr. Steve with my little pal, Dr. Scott, the traditional Chinese medical practitioner, gives me street cred. It's a wacko alternative medicine assholes. Hello, Dr. Scott.

Hey, Dr. Steve. And my partner in all things. Tacey. Hello, Tacey. Hey. This is a show for people who would never listen to a medical show on the radio or the internet. If you've got a question, you're embarrassed to take your regular medical provider. If you can't find an answer anywhere else, give us a call at 347-7664323. That's 347.

Pooh-Hill. Follow us on Twitter at Weird Medicine or at D.R. Scott, W.M. Visit our website. It's Dr.steve.com for podcasts, medical news and stuff you can buy. Most importantly, we are not your medical providers. Take everything you hear with a grain of salt. Don't act on anything you hear on this show without talking it over with your doctorate, nurse practitioner, practical nurse, physician assistant, pharmacist, respiratory therapist, chiropractor, acupuncture, yoga, physical therapist, clinical laboratory scientists, registered dietitian, massage therapist, proctologist, zytoe, or whatever. All right, very good. I left zytoe musician in because we had that Bob Tibado call in, and I need to just get that off of there. That was a joke for him, and nobody remembers that. I do.

Check out Dr. Scott's website at simplyherbils.net. Simplyherbils.net. And check out stuff.orgsteeve.com. For all your Amazon and your online needs, please go to stuff. Dot, Dr.steve.com. It keeps us going. It really makes a huge difference. And then check out our Patreon, where Tacey and I do a Patreon.

And it's fun. patreon.com slash weird medicine. It's content you won't get here. We had Jim Norton on. We've had Greg Opie Hughes. We've had Mark Norman and Joey DeRosa. And each one of them talks about some diverse thing that was totally different than we thought they were going to talk about. So that's been fun.

And we've got some special surprise guests coming. Like Jim Norton came on and you guys talked about 90-day Fiona. A little bit. That was fun. And we talked about some other stuff like hairy ass cracks and how to keep them clean and things like that. Joe DeRosa came on and just talked about depression, which I thought was fascinating. Because he's, you know, he hung in there in New York City when everyone else was leaving and opened a new food place in the middle of a pandemic. So I thought was kind of balzy.

Oh, yeah, that is. Let it go. Yeah. Considering how he and I. started out in this realm, go Google Dr. Steve versus Joe DeRosa. And that was the first time we ever had any interactions with each other. And from there to, you know, the point where we're actually friends. And, you know, every once in a while, he'll just call me just to talk, you know, and I'll do the same.

And that's, he doesn't just call me for medical questions. So it's kind of, he's the nicest guy in the world and really enjoyed him. And so we've enjoyed everybody we've had. So check that out, patreon.com slash weird medicine. The other thing I wanted to say was happy birthday to the owner of our network, Mr. Cardiff, aka Cardiff Electric. Check him out on Twitter at Cardiff Elect, something like that. And he is an interesting guy.

He is a true online surrealist, and I appreciate that. I find him extremely entertaining. And, you know, it's getting, if you ever liked a band, but you liked it before everybody else did? And so everybody, you know, so you kind of, you know, we're ahead of the curve. And then all of a sudden, everybody else likes that band. And then you're like, ugh, you know. So I liked Cardiff Electric. I appreciated his talent, I think, way before other people saw him for the talent that he is.

And now he pulled off a prank that I'm not going to go into now, but it was genius. It was pure genius. And now everybody's like, oh, Cardiff Electric's awesome. I'm not at that point where I'm like, oh, well, you know, it's not cool anymore. He's still cool to me. But I'm actually very happy that other people are picking up on the surreal nature. Because you could, you know, we went to the Dali Museum.

He was an old school. are surrealist, right? Well, Mr. Cardiff is the kind of has the same talent except it has to do with things on the internet. That's hard to explain. But anyway, you'll go check it out now and then you'll go, Dr. Steve's a fucking idiot. But I'm just telling you that he is a genius

whether you recognize it or not. And my friend Murray, who was also a genius, he made a comment once that the more biting the satire, the narrower the audience. So Mr. Cardiff's work is very biting, indeed, because his audience is pretty small. Maybe an audience of one, but I really do appreciate him. So happy birthday, my friend.

I'm glad you're out there. Uh-oh. Better see what this is. Well, and there he is. Hello, sir. I just wanted to see if you would answer the phone while you're doing a show. Of course. I would always take a call from the esteemed Cardiff Electric, the owner of our podcast network

and famed creator of the SJ Army. Time is money. Get back to work. Okay, sir. Thank you. That's funny. I'm a bitch. All right.

Check out Dr. Scott's website at Simply Irbles. Did I say that? Yep. But you can say it twice. All right. How's everything going with that? Pretty well. Yeah.

Okay. Well. Selling some good spray. Always full of lots of information. Thank you, Dr. Oh, hell if I say too much you bitch about it. I don't say that you bitch about it. Lose, lose, baby.

That's right. That's what this is. This is a lose-lose situation. It sure is. Hey, but at least the temperatures are going up in here pretty quickly. Yeah, at least we got that going for us. Yeah, it's a thousand degrees in the weird medicine studios. and we had, Dr. Scott and I installed.

Or the closet, as I like to call it. It's not a closet. We are all sitting very comfortably in here with a large eight-foot table and mixing boards and cameras and everything. But you can call it whatever you want to. It's where my Christmas tree should be. Probably true. But we, Dr. Scott and I installed a new air conditioner up here, but we haven't finished the job yet and we haven't fully insulated. So as soon as I turn the air conditioning off, the temperature.

turns up to a thousand again. And it doesn't matter Kelvin or Fahrenheit or Celsius. When it's a thousand degrees, it's hotter and shit. And thank you to Becky and Jerry for the unit. They don't listen, so they don't care. No. But thanks for the shout-out. Dr. Scott, you've got some stories for us today, I believe?

I have a couple. I think we started out with something that I felt was kind of shocking. Okay. electric shot to penis may cure premature ejaculation a study says okay so is this like the ludovico technique from well i'm going way back so if you were you're ahead of a born in the 50s and you watched the movie clockwork orange you would remember the ludovico technique where they used aversion therapy to keep the you know the guy Malcolm well that wasn't his name on the movie god now i can't remember anything but

to keep the guy from committing crimes. So they would show him films of horrible crimes, and when he would get aroused, then they would give him medicine to make him, you know, vomit, as we would say, in Tennessee. And they wouldn't let him close his eyes. But the bad thing was is that the soundtrack to it was Beethoven, so they also, you know, conditioned him against Beethoven.

So I can just imagine you've got some spouse who is pissed that her partner or his partner has premature ejaculation so now you hook them up to this shocking thing and say now try to shoot in 30 seconds and see what happens to you. I think that would work.

You know what I mean? It's a long way to go around to that. I mean, it's not a joke exactly, but you know, I'm not Tom Myers. You know, I'm not setting up a joke with 14 paragraphs, but I just imagine that sort of aversion therapy

would actually work for that. But I'm assuming that's not exactly what they're doing here. No. Okay, so what is it? Aversion therapy seems like it would have quite an effect. Well, I'm coming. No, you're not. No, you're not.

Yeah. Yeah, I think it's probably, and that's maybe where they got this. Anyway, what research has found, they were living, and they found that men roughly last seven times longer in bed after undergoing electric current therapy. In a recent study published in the Journal of, The Asian Journal of Urology reported about how, by giving electric current or tension it to the dorsal penis nerve. The dorsal nerve being the one that runs along the top.

Yeah, that's the, that's the, that's the, if your penis is sticking straight out from your body, the dorsal vein and the dorsal nerve are running, or pointing at the ceiling. Like a, like a dorsal fin. And there you go. And that's, so what they're doing is they're putting, effectively a tendon on that and shocking it because what they found is that is the move that's the nerve that's responsible for the input of movement and sensation which turning it down yeah which actually makes sense yeah so just it's just in it's decreasing its sensitivity yep and it you know dr. Steve it's a lot like those those dorsal column stimulators to use for for pain you know that

you know that the nerve off yeah or at least or at least at least provide another sense of of stimulation to to to quell that storm him. Gotcha. Doesn't actually turn it off completely, but it just kind of quells it. So they did a study on this 28-year-old guy that was climaxing after 40 seconds of sex on almost all occasions. God, he was going that long. I was what I said?

What's the complaint there? Get it over with, for God's sakes. But after being in a relationship for more than a year with his girlfriend. And still shooting in 40 seconds. And doing it twice a week. He would have thought he would develop some sort you would have thought. We're going to talk about. non-shocking ways to take care of this, but go ahead.

But after they did this tend unit on him, and that's exactly what it is, it's a tangent. They actually have shown that it can increase the length of not reaching premature ejaculation by up to, you know, 40%. Wait, 40%. Wait a minute. So he was going 40 seconds.

Yeah. 40% of 40 seconds would be 16 seconds, right? So now he can go 56 seconds. Right, but now after multiple therapies, he's making it three full minutes. Oh, okay, okay, okay. So that's pretty good. Which is enough. Yeah, hell, yeah.

I mean, Tacey would love it if I were built that way. I mean, you kind of are a fan of the Quiki, right? Yes. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And I was always the fan of the marathon thing, and it's been, it's been, interesting trying to reconcile that because she's hardwired for the quickie and I'm hardwired for a marathon session and yeah it's um you know anyway well but she loves it when we talk

talk about our sex life home on the show yes but you know a lot I'll say no more but I'm just saying it it can be a challenge for couples yeah but you know they actually they actually may have gotten some of this concept um sometimes handicapped para para if they want to try to have an erection and actually have children, they'll actually put a tinge unit on these penises for people who have spinal cord injuries and they can actually get erections. Really?

Yeah. Interesting. I'll have to read about that. It's a therapy that they do on occasion. I am interested in getting the electro-shockwave therapy for the corpora cavernosa. So those are the spongy parts of the penis that fill up with blood and give you a nice meaty erection. I mean, at 66, it's not, you know, I heard a comic explain it once that when you have a really good erection, a cat couldn't scratch it.

It's very descriptive to me. And I'm not quite at the cat couldn't scratch it anymore, you know? Right. It's still nice and, you know, firm, but I would like to have that. And I wonder if I did that electroshockwave therapy, if it would improve that. What do you think, Tase? I don't know. There's only one way to find out.

She didn't care less. Couldn't care less. Do whatever with your stupid penis. Yes. Put it in either hand you want. Big boy. That's exactly right. That's right.

That's right. Well, again, we've gone downhill, and we've been doing it for about what? Okay. So, yeah. Well, you're fulfilling your role over there. Hey, we can, we can change it. All right, you want to, you know, one more? No, I'm interested in this.

Oh, yeah, yeah. So this is a thing, but it was a, this study had an N of one. Oh, hell, I didn't read any further than that. Oh, I just said they did it to one guy. Yeah. Yeah, that's the only one they reported on. Yeah, we need a larger study for that. But if you read down the further, the average man lasts five to seven minutes rolling around the sheets.

Those are pikers. The good news is this tends unit, or as we like to call it, electric shock therapy, it does cost less than a lot of the medications. I'll tell you one that's free. I mean, you're right. But those are expensive. People can take prozats. or fluoxetine and or other

SSRIs and it will then they will get a direction at all well one of the adverse effects is delayed ejaculation and for some people yeah you're right or none at all is erectile dysfunction so that's kind of dicey but I can teach

people how to how to fix premature ejaculation if you're out there and you have premature ejaculation now I can have it if you'll do this, I can have it fixed in about a month most of the time. And if you can't,

then yes, go seek help from a urologist or a sex, you know, a physician that specializes in diseases of the sexual nature, you know, or of sex organs. But

this is what you do. You go on Amazon, go to stuff.com, and just what you want is a gel masturbator. And what this thing is, it's,

it's like a fleshlight, except way, way, way cheaper than a fleshlight. But it's basically, you're looking for a

fleshlight that doesn't have some models vagina on it. I do not understand fleshlights. Do you get this at all?

Apparently what they do is these porn or adult film stars will take a casting of their external genitalia and then

they will put that on a flashlight and when you buy it you're like buying you know scarlet stars you know vagina except i to me all of the fleshlights look exactly the same and you know it's just the the trappings on the outside you know the packaging it's all marketing i think and even then it's like who cares what it looks like it's not they're not there anyway so i don't get it but But you're paying extra for that. So don't pay extra for that. Just buy a generic gel masturbator and get some water-based lube, not the warming stuff.

I'm just warning you. Don't get that stuff. And also, don't have intercourse after you've been cutting up peppers to can them, and then it's all over your hands. And then you take the lube and you put it on your hands and then kind of lube yourself up and then go at it. because not only will your penis burn like fire, but your wife's vagina will, too. I just heard this. I'm just saying. I believe that was the last time, and it's been about, what, three, four, five years.

It's horrible. I'm kidding. That'll teach him. Don't do that. That'll teach you. Oh, you mean the last time we had intercourse? Okay, I get the joke. Okay, I get it.

I'll give you. Like John Melendez's D.C. trip, at least you tried, Taze. So anyway, so get the non-warming lube. You want water-based lube. Don't get silicon-based lube. It will eat this thing up. Now, what you want to do is you put this thing on a table that's about waist-high. This is the simplest way to do it.

If you try to do it in bed, it's very difficult. But, you know, put a towel under it, put it, and then wrap the towel over it. And then what you're going to do is... Should you warm the towel first? No, no, no. I mean, it just goes on and on. No, I'm going to teach them how to cure their premature ejaculation. I'm doing a service here.

So I just don't want them to run into any problems. Sure. So now you... The point is, is that you fix this thing. on the table with your hands or, you know, with this towel and hold it down so that you're actually, you're fucking it. You know, you're having intercourse with it. You're not holding it in your hand and jacking it up and down.

Okay, does that make sense? And so what you're going to do now is you're going to have, you're going to simulate intercourse with this thing until you start feeling that tingling like your, oh, God, it's coming. Guys can tell when it's coming before it actually comes. So if you screw up and you ejaculate into this thing, then just chalk it up. I'm going to stop a little bit sooner next time. Let's say it's 30 seconds. And, oh, I blew my load.

I couldn't stop myself. So next time you're going to go at 25 seconds, you're going to withdraw, and then you're going to take your hand and you're going to grip your erect member and you're going to put your thumb over the urethral meatus and press down. Not too hard. You don't want to bruise it. You're just going to press down. And that will almost 100% of the time stop that feeling that you're getting ready to blow your load.

Okay. And then after it's completely gone, you reinsert and you do it again. Where did you get this information? Is this happening in my house? No. Do I have premature ejaculation? No. Urology.

You're complaining. is exactly the opposite. So no, they taught us this in medical school. And then the, you know, the gel ejaculator part was my innovation, but this works because what they teach you to do in medical school is to do this with a willing partner. Now, not every partner is going to be patient enough to do this. So I'm getting people started in a situation where there's no shame, no nothing. They can just do this on their own and then show. their partner how much they learned when they come home. You know, do show and tell. So anyway, you, so now you've gone like 30 seconds and you pull out, you put your hand over, and then you

keep, and it's basically called edging. You're just edging. And you get close to the edge and you continue to do this. Now, this may take you a month of doing this three or four times a week. But what you're going for is each session that you have, the first time that you pull out, hopefully will be longer than the amount of time it was the time before. So if it was 30 seconds the first time, then it's 45 seconds, and then it's a minute, and then it's two minutes and four minutes, and then you can make it go as arbitrarily long as you want to. Now, you want to do this with a partner who's aware of what you're doing so that they can do this with you. So now you should be able to insert in a vagina or whatever. There's no judgment here, whatever your partner has,

and go for two, three minutes. And then if you want to go longer than that, you're going to pull out and have them hold your penis with their thumb over your urethra. And what they taught us in medical school was to start with that, I think that's wrong. Because how many partners do you know are that patient to work with somebody that has premature ejaculation to do this time after time after time? Yeah, see, it's not really going to happen. Particularly in 2022, we're very, you know, we just want to get things done quickly. And I think doing it with the gel masturbator, you're going to get quicker results and you can do it more often.

If you're doing this with your partner, getting them to do it twice a week is probably going to be a stretch. With this, you can do it every night if you want it to. And just practice edging and go longer and longer and longer until you can have intercourse without withdrawing at whatever arbitrary limit you've set. Because premature ejaculation just means that you've ejaculated

sooner than you thought that you should. for some people that could be 20 minutes for other people seven minutes other people three four minutes so okay all right and no drugs but it is more uh it's more labor intensive to do it this way although you could argue it might be more fun than attaching a tens unit and shocking your dick into submission yes you know okay yep all right very reasonable very good all right what else you got that was a good one yeah um we'll change we'll change pace here a little bit okay how about when we need we need um pa john here for no well he's okay he's not here or so i know but no there's a new there's a new painless wireless wearable gadget which sticks to the

skin like velcro measures your blood sugar which we already have but also the alcohol and muscle fatigue at the same time which could be a game changer for diabetics and part of the cool thing is is that this will actually help you to monitor your blood sugar on the fly. And then if you're drinking alcohol, you can actually tweak the amount of medicine you need. Interesting. Yeah, it's kind of cool. So it's brand new, brand new. What they'll do with this is they'll make us wear it and then they'll wire it to our car so it won't let us drive if we've been drinking.

What company makes that? And I'll, I mean, I don't drink and drive, but I would be pissed if my car just went, nope. CWS. Oh, I don't know. Okay. Yeah, it's kind of cool. See, they're just now into some trials very, very early. But gosh, you know, you think about for Type 1 Diabetics, this would be a wonderful thing.

Yeah. All right. Oh, it's, Aquil X is the startup company that's got this. Okay, well, we're not recommending the people invest in it. invest in it or anything no no I'm just saying well we have to say that I was just interested yeah I'm interested that's fascinating anything else we need an artificial placenta we need an artificial pancreas until yeah we have so an artificial pancreas basically would just read your blood sugar and then give you

insulin at the correct dose to to maintain a normal blood sugar and we're getting close to that we have sensors that will read your blood sugar and then we've got devices that will give you insulin at the same time based on that reading but PA John had one and he found it to be a little bit annoying in that it would wake him up at four in the morning if the sensor just fell off and tell them oh your blood sugar is zero and stuff like that so we got to perfect that but artificial placenta would be a big deal because um you You know, I worked in the NICU in training, and, you know, these babies come out at, you know, 24 weeks or whatever. It would be really cool if you could just take their umbilical cord and hook it up to a placenta, put them in a vat of saline and just let them finish growing there rather than trying to maintain them on a ventilator with all the things that go along with that, you know, the retinal dysplasia and stuff like that.

It's very difficult for the preemies in the way that we try to resuscitate them and keep them alive during that period of time. So, you know, artificial pancreas, we need artificial placenta. We need, what else? That would be pretty cool. Artificial retina. That would be cool. We've got the artificial cochlear or we've got the cochlear implants now. So these are all things that we, you know, artificial skin like data had in.

Was that first contact? I don't remember. First contact when the Borg queen was trying to seduce data, and she gave him a little patch of skin on his arm, and then he could feel. He had an actual sensation. Cool. Anyway, and we need that, too.

We need lots of stuff. All right. Are you done with your stories? Yep. Okay. Number one thing, don't take advice from some asshole on the radio. All right, very good. Thank you, my friend.

Oh, here's kind of the opposite, or not opposite, but it's related problem this person had. Let's see if we can get in. Hey, Doc, it's Dee from Texas. I've got an embarrassing question for you. Okay, man. Since I turn about 40 whenever I'm banging my wife, it seems like I don't complete the transaction and I lose the boner about once out of every two or three times that we do it. And I don't know what's going on. I'm, you know, like I said, I'm 40.

I walk every day, about eight miles, so I'm in pretty good shape and pretty good condition. But anyway, let me know. Thanks. Yeah, man. So the question is, does he have delayed ejaculation, or is he just losing his erection halfway through? Sound like he had a little bit of both. Or when he says he can't complete the transaction, is he not ejaculating out the end of his penis? Because that's another thing.

Oh, yeah. So people that have a normal orgasm, but do not ejaculate, are having retrograde ejaculation. That's 100% of the time what that is. And that is often caused by certain medications or trauma or it could be diabetes, and they've got some neuropathy down there. And basically it's just fluid dynamics. fluid will go through the path of least resistance. And the path of least resistance should be from the seminal vesicles and the prostate out the end of the penis. But if you've got some increased or decreased tone to the sphincter going to the bladder,

you could actually have a pathway of least resistance going into the bladder. So what they're doing is they're ejaculating into their bladder. Then you've got people who are just losing their erection halfway through. That happens. And that's basically erectile dysfunction. You know, erectile dysfunction doesn't always have to be that you're not able to get an erection. It can be that you can't maintain one. And later on, as it marches backward in time, you'll end up not being able to get one.

So not being able to maintain an erection requires a workup. I would check your testosterone, see if you're on any medication that could be affecting things, make sure that your blood pressure and you're not is okay and you're not diabetic, those kinds of things. Just a good workup, CBC, just to check all of those numbers. Sure, and then if you, if all that checks out and you're able to masturbate to completion 100% of the time, but you're not able to master or to complete the transaction when you're having actual intercourse, that could be psychological.

There could be something that you've either got pressure to perform with your partner and that causes you to be taken out of the game or for whatever reason, you know, your partner's turning you off in some way. But it could be, or there's something, you know, you're having weird thoughts during sex, that you're not having when you're masturbating.

So we usually will ask people that, you know, can you masturbate to completion 100% of the time? But if you can't, then that talks or, you know, pushes you in the direction of something being more physiologic. Yeah, more medical, sure. Yeah. I agree. All right.

So get that checked out. Let us know which one of those it is. And then we'll go from there. Now, the third thing could just be delayed ejaculation. I wondered if that was what was going on. I was just taking him longer than normal. Well, and if they're doing it often enough, He loses that sensitivity to 30.

Well, that's true, too. And that's not uncommon. But, you know, some men with delayed ejaculation need 30 minutes or more of sexual stimulation to have an orgasm and ejaculate. And at some point, when you get a little bit older, you just can't go 30 minutes anymore. No, hell, no. And then you just go, ah, fuck it. Oh. You know, forget about it.

Who's got time? I ain't got no time. I got to go. Goodbye. Anyway. So, and the question is, is this, excuse me. a lifelong issue or is it an acquired issue? Did it just start having? And him, it sounds like it's something new. Sounds like it is something new for him. And then again, is it generalized or

situational? And that's what the urologist will ask you. And those are the kinds of things that they will, you know, will explore. So depression, anxiety, medications that treat either one of those. Again, relationship problems with stress or performance anxiety, poor body image, if you have any sort of cultural or religious taboos, or differences between the reality of sex with your partner and your sexual fantasies. So that can do it. Cause delayed a jackage. This doesn't sound like what this guy has, no. No. Antidepressions, blood pressure medicines, First of a head, diuretics, antipsychotic medications. Prostate medications, those alpha blockers will do it, too.

Alcohol. Alcohol will do it, yep. So get that stuff checked. Look into it. Let us know which one clicks with you and let us know. It's a pretty complicated thing. We want all of our listeners to have fine, satisfying, you know, sexual relations with the partner of their choice. Right.

All right. This is one Tacey and I did. Hi, guys. This is retired pharmacist, John. Going back. Hey, John. Tacey and I did this on the Patreon show, but he wanted to hear it, and he's too cheap to get our Patreon, so he called back.

And I said, oh, what the hell? We'll do it here, too. I hope everybody's doing well. Yeah, man. Oh, yeah. I had a question about choosing a doctor in the sense of, what's the sweet spot? Do you want someone just out of medical school? Do you want some with 15 or 20 years experience?

you know an old guy like me that's been around the block had seen it all about two years ago I had was thinking about having surgery for my prostate cancer and ended up choosing radiation which worked great but the doc who's going to do this surgery and when I asked him how many he had done he said 10 well I decided I wasn't going to be number 11 so just here's on your thoughts on that. Someone's got to be number 11. Everyone's well. Enjoy the show.

Hey, thanks, man. Thanks so much. That's great. Hey, thank you. And I'm going to be joining you in retirement, hopefully soon enough. What do I got? Five years? I'll believe it when I see it.

Yeah, me too. I think Tacey's only one. I can't wait. I wouldn't touch my music studio in so long. I just don't have time. So I definitely want to do it by. We've got to get back through school. You know, it's, listen, if you're listening to me right now,

and you're thinking about having kids and you're thinking of waiting, don't. It's not that I'm, I would have been a terrible parent if I had had kids when I couldn't have as a younger person. But to have your first kid at 48 and your second one at 50 is insane. And I'm 66. I have a 17-year-old at home, and I've got to get this kid through college. You know? I still remember the day you, when you found that you're pregnant with number two, it's like we were doing the math where we were in that old clinic we were in.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I remember you were there. Oh, damn. I'm like, oh, hell, you're going to be like a papo. Yeah. They're going to say, hey, pap ball. Oh, that happened to me. Believe me, all the time. I used to take Liam to Walmart every day because where we lived, that was about the only play.

The only entertainment we had, so I'd go to Walmart. and I would take him in his carrier and back then they had greeters and the greeter go well here comes papa bringing the you know the baby and it's like you keep saying that I love it anyway yeah even then here comes papa so yeah so have kids if you're thinking about doing it now there's no good time oh we're going to wait till there's a good time to do it there's never a good time just do it always an excuse to not Rip the band-aid off. It's the greatest thing you'll ever do.

It's the most creative thing you'll ever do. And if you do, and it's your first time, email us or go to our website at Dr. Steve.com and click on the link that says one-page baby manual. It's a one-page baby manual. Tacey and I met with these experts, and she wrote it all down. It's all her work, but I just took, you know, the raw thing and made it into electronic form and put it on the website. And it will walk you through the first year of diapers and sleeping and feeding and all that stuff.

All of it. And then I took Dr. Carp's book, and I'll probably get a DMCA on this, but I took his book, which is like 250 pages, took the whole book and distilled it down to five lines. Because in that whole book, it's called Happiest Baby on the Block. it's a good book but it's everything that's in there of value is five lines and everything else is filler so it came up with a cool idea

wanted to publish it and then wrote 250 pages just to pad it out so it's all there so check it out dr steve com and click the link that says one page baby manual anyway so why didn't what are we talking about we're talking about how how you

pick a physician. Oh, yes, thank you. So, yeah, so the sweet spot. Where is the sweet spot? There isn't one. So George Foreman always talked about a boxer. When they get older, they lose their speed, but they always gain their power. You know, they always have their power. As long as they keep working out. Well, yeah, that's right. I know where you're going with this and that. It's brilliant. I'm going to give you this ahead of time. because I know where you're going with that. That's right. So they will lose their speed.

So I don't have the speed, the mental agility that I did when I was fresh out of residency. I was hot to trot, ready to go, knew everything or thought I did. But as I get older, I feel that I have less mental agility, but I've got way more power. My ability is much higher than that. it was back then. And if I needed to do a diabetic ketoacidosis, I could figure it out. And if I had to do a bunch of them, I would be really good at it. But, you know, I retained my power and have increased my power.

But, you know, my speed, my quickness is gone. Now, Tacey's alluding to something that's analogous to working out. Go ahead and talk about it. I mean, you know, you worked with a lot of doctors. A lot of physicians, not all of them. I mean, it's just like in every. career people get lazy and and they don't keep up with the new information or the newest thing and the newest thing isn't always the best thing but at least you know about it right and there are a lot of

reasons for that you know they're overworked and they're lazy but there are lazy ones that don't and so that would not be a good one you could talk to your pharmacist I think your local pharmacist would know Yeah, this is a pharmacist calling us, who would know better than a pharmacist? Well, I mean, he's retired. Okay, fair enough. But, I mean, so, you know, you don't want somebody who writes all the new medicines because that's going to cost you a fortune, and not all new medicines are the best. Yep.

But you don't want somebody who writes. Nothing but 50-year-old medicines all the time. Shitty generics that are, yeah, 50 years old. Yeah, and, you know, you've got to know some of the pharmacists are even thinking. Yeah, there are. Some of the pharmacists are even thinking, man, I wouldn't go to this guy. Right. I got to order this shit. It's so old. And I think the pharmacists would be good at telling you who's bad. I don't know that they would be the best at telling you who's good. That's the thing. They know who sucks.

Yeah. You know, they really know who sucks, but I don't know that they could then, from there, discern who is really good amongst all the people that don't suck. Yes. And then word of mouth. There you go. Which I know is what you're going to say. Give yourself a bill. Stole it from you. That's fine. Because a lot of, you know, our neighbor one day said, you know, my physician never touches me.

Well, that's problematic. Yeah. Well, if they need to touch you. Yeah, right. And you don't get touched. Yeah. I mean, or you're not, you know, listen to. If it's, now listen, if it was her psychiatrist, that's actually a good thing.

Yes. That would be extremely weird. I don't think I've ever physically touched my psychiatrist in any way. Yeah, I mean, like, not even like. But if it's her gynecologist. Poked him. Right. Yeah.

Yeah. If it's a gynecologist, then that would be ridiculous. You got to ask around because people know, oh, I used to see this guy and he sucks, but now I see this guy and he's great. Yeah. And one physician sucking, maybe someone else's good physician, too, So you've got to get the context. Well, he wouldn't give me no Lord tabs.

That's not necessarily means that he sucks. No, that probably means he's good. Yeah. I mean. What do you think, Scott? You've been awfully quiet in this. How do you tell a good acupuncturist from a fucking nut? Exactly.

What Tacey just said. Word of mouth, yeah. And get multiple words of mouth, not just one. Yeah. Because one person may, one person may have a terrible experience. Get the context. Yeah, and figure out why they had a terrible experience. But, you know, starts with education.

Making sure they have all of their ducks and rows and then board a mouth hip. How do you tell an acupuncturist from a someone that just did a two-week class or a weekend class in acupuncture? You would have to be on the the NCCAOM.org, which is the... What? It's a national board for... NCCAOM. Yeah, dot org. What does that stand for?

I don't know. National commission for... You don't know. Hell, I don't know. I wasn't expecting this question. Look him up. I was taking it. I found it.

I was listening to Tacey. National, you were just looking at her tits. This is National Certification Commission for Acupuncture and Oriental Medicine. Yeah, it's a national side. And that way you can actually look. If you have someone in your neighborhood and you want to see if they have credentials, et cetera, then you can actually find them on there. Okay. Let's do 25 miles from my zip code.

Let's see if you come up. Yeah. I want to see. who comes up on here. Probably not. Oh, my God, because you didn't pay your money. Oh, you're not. You're not on here. There's a reason for that.

Well, there's a bunch of people that are on here that don't have your qualifications. No, I know. I know. What's that about? Hell, I don't know. They can get on this thing and not be a diplomat of Oriental medicine? How do you find those? If they went through the Chinese medical school program and they're like an L.A. These are people in our town.

I've never even heard of these people. Oh, I know. I know. That's why you've got me, old buddy. So, okay, now this brings, this really makes, okay, so you recommended this website. You know, there are people on here that I know must have done a weekend class. So how do I discern? I go to this and there's 20 people.

How do I know which is the one I should go to? The race the last four or five minutes. Why? Because what he said, this doesn't work. Oh. Well, to a certain degree, to a certain degree it does. Well, no, I'm just asking the follow-up question. But what I would say first of all, is if you go to somebody and all they do is dry needling,

that's, you know, that's not the same as what we do practice medicine. You know, if it's a chiropractor. Well, you've got to go to somebody and then find out. Is there no way to prescreen these people? Oh, yeah. Yeah, Lord, yeah, I tell them to call, call them. Okay. Yeah, call. And if they don't have a website.

And what questions should they ask? Oh, ask them where they went to school. Ask them what their degree is. Ask them if they went through a four-year Chinese medical school program. There you go. They just did a weekend warrior. Yeah, I get very, very, very upset with some of the knowledge it's passed on by other medical professionals that say, oh, gosh, they, you know, it's a challenge. And you know that.

Of course, we've been battling this for 20-plus years. Yeah, because there are lots of people out there that want to practice medicine without a license. Yes. And the thing about Dr. Scott that I say have said multiple times, he took four years out of his life to go to traditional Chinese medical school. So it was four years of medical school, and he does a different brand of medicine, and we can make fun of certain things that Dr. Scott says in here, but he could make fun of a thing, you know, if if we were on an acupuncture podcast, he would be making fun of me because I'd be saying stupid things to them. So, but the one thing I can tell you about Dr. Scott is he's very

conscientious. He doesn't do things that aren't in his scope of treatment. And you can tell that four year of medical school, plus you did like an internship or something too, right? Yeah. And his 20 years. of experience doing clinical traditional Chinese medicine, it is, it's way different than somebody that just took a class. Yeah, and they just do some, because I've watched you at work, and 100% of the patients that I send to you come back telling me at least they feel better. Yep.

He's on it, Steve. Yeah, I actually went through there and found it. It's got my full name, Steve. It's got my legal name. Well, who knows? You're not on it from 25 miles from my zip code here. Yeah, no, I am. Yeah, because I put it in there myself.

Dude, I just did it. I'm looking at it right here. He's on it. Okay, don't say the zip code. No, no, no. But I'm telling the boss, the boss is here, and she seconds my emotion. Okay, let me see. Maybe I'm at the wrong website.

Yeah, it's my, it's my, it's my, it's my, um. Yeah, I'm doing 25 miles from your zip code, and let me see. There you are. Now I see. Yeah, my legal name. I had no idea what you're legal name. Now, you know, what's weird on this is it, no, I did, but you weren't on the one, the search that I did.

Yeah, but that's fine. But it doesn't say, it doesn't differentiate you, it doesn't say you're a D-O-M, it just has your name. Oh, but there's a diploma next to you. Let me see what happens when I do that. And there's an old, that's an old website, too. Okay, what's AC certification? Oh, that's just the acupuncture. And CH certification?

That's Chinese herbal medicine. An O.M. Oriental medicine. Okay. So if you click on this thing, let me see what, okay, this person only has AC. So you would only be getting acupuncture from that person. I got you. Okay, now I think this website's okay.

Yeah, I apologize. No, it's not like you look yourself up on the internet. No, hell, I need to fix information here. Now, here's a guy here that says, okay, nobody cares. Nobody cares. Check out that website. It is nc-c-a-o-m.org. And then look at those diplomas on there and make sure that they've got all

the things that you want. Anyway, that's interesting. Interesting to me. Don't know if it was interesting to anybody else. All right. Let's see here. I don't know what this is. This person called in and I'm not sure what's happening with this. Let's see.

If this is... Hey, Doc. This is Zach from Oklahoma. Hey, Zach. Or the movie Messiah in the waiting room. Okay. Hey, movie Messiah. I had an interesting topic I thought you could talk about on the show. It's called the Mariko. aoki phenomenon

and it refers to what happens when people enter a bookstore any kind of bookstore and all of a sudden they have a sudden urge to poop, go number two

to the bathroom. And apparently, like a lot of people have this, I've had it and just didn't really know about it, but I recently came across this article and it was such a big saying that the Japanese did a study on it and found out that thousands of people have this. They don't know why, and they tried to, you know, equate it to like smells of ink and paper or if that has some kind of effect on the bowel system or if, you know, people, they go to read when they're on the toilet, so maybe it's a psychological effect.

but they never did come up with an answer. So I just thought that this was interesting. It's Mariko M-A-R-I-K-O-A-O-A-O-K-I-K-I-E-O-K-I-E-O-K-I-E-E-O-K-I-E-E-O-K-I-E-E-E-O-K-E-E-O-K-E-E-O-K-E-E-E-E-E-E-U-SU-E-SOR. That you suddenly felt after entering a bookstore. Have you ever had that? Never had that. Who goes to bookstores anymore? They've got cool stuff.

They do have cool stuff. They have to. Especially the old bookstores that have the old books. They're pretty cool. Yeah, there was a great bookstore. I've ever had to poop walking in a world. No, there was a great bookstore in Chapel Hill that I really liked that, you know, I bought lots of stuff in there. I used to love to just browse around. And now it's just all Amazon and I download shit to my Kindle. And you feel like you have to poop when you got the Amazon store. I mean, I read my Kindle on the toilet. So, all right, theories. All right, let's hear some theories. Who has a theory? Well, one theory includes that the smell of paper ink has a laxative effect.

That one would be easy to test. Or, as he said, the association with reading on the toilet at home. But I do tend to read when I'm sitting on the John, but I never, ever have that associated with any other place that I go. You know, what are you laughing about? I'm laughing at Sean. He feels like it when he has good work. Talk like egg to you when she goes to Pier 1. Now, one thing I have noticed, though, have you ever had the urge to defecate?

And then when you get closer and closer to the bathroom, it gets worse and worse. Maybe you were in your car and it was stable for a while until you get close. And then you're ripping at your belt. And if it gets stuck, you're like, oh, my God. Or zipper gets. Yeah, am I going to be able to hold it? Do you ever, have you ever noticed that? That's a real effect.

Well, it's really bad with, I mean, I've just heard this, 40-plus-year-old women who are starting to have overactive bladder issues. Yeah. I mean, we don't know anybody like that. No, no, no. But, you know, like someone I know was at a concert recently, and there were three porta-potties, and the line was like 30 minutes long. And if you have this issue, you have to decide, am I going to have to go in 30 minutes? Mm-hmm. Or, think ahead.

Yeah, you've got to think ahead because there's no warning time. Yeah, and if it's urgency, you can't plan through. Yeah, you cannot. Yeah, no. And it's the same thing with if you have an enlarged prostate. If you have an enlarged prostate, this is the same thing. Right. You know, you just get that urgency.

It's like, oh, go. If you're at a concert, just piss on the person in front of you. Oh. You know? Or if you're a woman, just piss, you know, on your inner ankles. I'm sure there was plenty of that going on. Down your leg. I mean.

Yeah. But the thing that Tacey was referring to, this concert that this friend of ours went to, when you walked, there were so many people pissing in the woods. That you would have been peeing next to somebody within like... And I'm waving at them. Who cares? It's dark. Everybody's drinking. It wasn't dark.

It wasn't dark enough. And also you're walking through other people's piss, too, because they're pissing everywhere. It's getting all over you anyway. Anyway, and it's multiple people's piss at that point. Oh, it's just, yes, yes, so lots, lots. Yeah, if you want to... Piss here, piss there, piss everywhere. If you want to deal with Piss, go to an outdoor Jimmy Buffett concert.

Because everyone's drinking beer. Yep. Goes right through you. Yep. And then, anyway. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That friend of ours that went to that had an interesting time at that concert.

All right. Great time. One other theory is that, then this is, bizarre. The psychological hypothesis that the effect arises from feelings of nervous tension in the face of all the information represented in the bookstore.

I don't believe that. I don't either. I think the smell has it's got to be that. I think the smell certainly has. I don't believe it acts as a direct laxative. I think it's some psychological effect. And I've never noticed if bookstores have bathrooms or not. Nope. I have no

clue if Books a Million has a bookstore. because I've never had the urge to defecate in there. Of course, legally, they have to, but if they have patrons. Yeah, so the reason it's named this was apparently named after a woman who mentioned it in an article, and she just happened to be Japanese. So now it's named after her. Oh, good. It says the Mariko Ioki phenomena received considerable coverage,

even with one of Japanese leading magazines, Weakney Bunshun, being quick to feature the topic as May 2nd, 1985 issue. And the reaction was so considerable as an ordinary young woman who had divulged this concern regarding the delicate topic of her own defecation urge.

This poor woman happened to mention it. And now it's named after her from time immemorial. Anyway, so Dr. Scott, you got any other hypotheses I've got it. I think Kim Chickens kind of gave me an idea when she was talking about in the waiting room. In the waiting room. She was talking about having coffee and going to work and having it and having a place to go to the bathroom. You know what? At work? At work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You go to the bathroom at work? You're supposed to get up early enough, having coffee at home and do your business at home or Kim.

We know that. There's nothing more about that. But you know, you know what? Most of those, most of those bookstores have like coffee shops at them. That's true. So people go in and they smell the coffee That's exactly right. They drink the coffee. One, two, three. There you go. That's what it is. I think it's the coffee.

I think it's the coffee smell. Because most of those Barnes & Noble's books, a million of those guys. They have Starbucks inside. Well, this was first described in like 1950. Surely they didn't have book or coffee shops in bookstores then. I'll bet they did. In Japan, probably, well, probably tea. T stores, yeah.

I mean, well, hey, that's my hypothesis. That's a reasonable hypothesis. More sense than anything else. Sounds crazy to me. I can't relate to it at all. is a subset of people. Anyway. Thank you, Kim. You're good.

You're good. Anything else? Thank you. No, I believe they'll do. Well, we can't forget Dr. Scott and Tacey. Thank you for being here. We can't forget. Rob Sprantz, Bob Kelly, Greg Hughes, Anthony Coomia, Jim Norton,

Travis Teff, that Gould Girl, Lewis Johnson, Paul Opharsky, Chowdy, 1008, Howdy, Guplunk, Eric Nagel, the Port Charlotte Hoar, The Saratoga Skank, the Florida Flusi, the St. Pete Barkeep blower, the Dolly Museum diddler, Percy Dumb, Roland Campo, sister of Chris, Sam, Robert, she owns Pigs and Snakes, Pat Duffy, Dennis Falcone, Matt Kleinschmidt, Dale Dudley, Holly from the Gulf, Christopher Watkins, double Steve Tucci, the great Rob Bartlett, Vick's Nether Fluids, Cardiff Electric, Casey's Wet T-Tiecher, Carl's Tilippes Equinovarez, producer, Chris, look it up.

Jenny Jingles, the inimitable, Vincent Paulino, everybody. Eric Zane, Bernie, and Sid, Martha from Arkansas's daughter, Ron Bennington, and of course, our dear departed friends, Jivak and Fes Watley, whose support never went unappreciated. Listen to our SiriusXM show on the Faction Talk Channel, Siris XM, Channel 103, Saturdays at 7 p.m. Eastern, Sunday at 6 p.m. Eastern on-demand and other times at Jim McClure's pleasure. Many thanks to our listeners, whose voicemail and top of you. ideas make this job very easy go to our website dr steve.com for schedules podcasts and other crap until next time check your stupid nuts for lumps quit smoking get off your asses and get some

exercise we'll see you in one week for the next edition of weird medicine thanks everybody thank you thank you thank you thank you Thank you.