Weird Medicine: The Podcast - 523 = Roasted in Rochester

Episode Date: September 22, 2022

Dr Steve, Dr Scott, Tacie, PA Lydia discuss: T!t talk with Tacie and Lady Diagnosis Augmentation above or below the muscle Silicone vs saline? Nipple numbness Squirting vs Female Ejacu!ation (again) New Covid booster (we'll know more soon) and more! Please visit: stuff.doctorsteve.com (for all your online shopping needs!) simplyherbals.net  (now with NO !vermect!n!) (JUST KIDDING, Podcast app overlords! Sheesh!) roadie.doctorsteve.com (the greatest gift for a guitarist or bassist! The robotic tuner!) And check out our sponsor: betterhelp.com/medicine (listen, we all need a little help right now! It's ok!) Also don't forget: Cameo.com/weirdmedicine (Book your old pal right now while he’s still cheap! "FLUID!") noom.doctorsteve.com (the link still works! Lose weight now before swimsuit season is over!) Most importantly! CHECK US OUT ON PATREON!  ALL NEW CONTENT! Robert Kelly, Mark Normand, mystery guests! Stuff you will never hear on the main show ;-) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why did the art collector buy an old septic tank? It's filled with mass turd pieces. Why did the farmer trade cow manure for goat poop? It was a dung deal. Where does chocolate milk come from? A dairy cacao. If you just read the bio for Dr. Steve, host of weird medicine on Sirius XM103,

and made popular by two really comedy shows, Opie and Anthony and Ron and Fez, you would have thought that this guy was a bit of, you know, a clown. Why can't you give me the respect that I'm entitled to? I've got diphtheria, crushing my esophagus. I've got Tobolivide. from my nose. I've got the leprosy of the heartbound, exacerbating my infectable woes. I want to take my brain out, blast with the wave, an ultrasonic, ecographic, and a pulsating

shave. I want a magic pill. All my ailments, the health equivalent of citizen cane. And if I don't get it now in the tablet, I think I'm doomed, then I'll have to go insane. I want a requiem for my disease, so I'm paging Dr. Steve. From the world famous Cardiff Electric Network Studios, it's weird medicine, the first and still only uncensored medical show. In the history of broadcast radio now a podcast, I'm Dr. Steve with my little pal, Dr. Scott, a traditional Chinese medicine provider who gives me street cred,

the wack alternative medicine assholes. Hello, Dr. Scott. Hey, Dr. Steve. And my partner in all things, Tacey, hello, Tacey. Hello. And back from my two-week sabbatical, it's P.A. Lydia. Hello, P.A. Lidia. Hey, y'all.

Hey, this is a show for people who never listen to a medical show on the radio or the internet. If you've got a question, you're embarrassed to take to your regular medical provider. If you can't find an answer anywhere else, give us a call 347-7-7-3-23. That's 347. Who-Hill. Follow us on Twitter at Weird Medicine or at DR Scott WM. Visit our website at Dr.steve.com for podcast, medical news and stuff to come by. Most importantly, we are not your medical providers.

Take everything here with a grain of salt. Don't act on anything you hear on this show without talking over with your health care provider. All right, very good. Well, all right. We had a couple of technical glitches there, but here we are. Please don't forget stuff.com. Stuff.com makes a huge difference. Stuff.

Dot, Dr.steve.com, for all of your Amazon needs. Or you can just go to Dr.steve.com and click on store, I think. And it will take you, you can click through to Amazon, or you can scroll down and see cool stuff that we talk about on the show all the time. and check out Dr. Scott's website at Simplyerbils.net. You got the CBD nasal spray back in stock? I got it up.

Okay. It's selling like proverbial flapjacks? Flapjacks, yes. Okay, very good. And actually, we've got everything straightened up on the internet, so we're back in business. Okay, good deal. Good deal. Check him out. Simplyerbils.net.

Buy it just, even if it's just for a goof, buy it, though. It's not expensive. No. You got stress less and reprieve, reprieve, reprieve. Guilt reprieve, you need guilt reprieve. I'll get some fatigue reprieve. Yeah, really? Yeah.

You have any with you? Hey, P.A. Lydia can give us a review next time. Okay. And then check out our show on Patreon. It's Tacey and me and sometimes a celebrity. And it's exclusive questions you call in there. It's guaranteed your call will get on. We will do 100% of calls sent in by our Patreon members.

Patreon.com slash weird medicine. And then if you want me to say fluid to your mama, I will do so. Go to cameo.com slash weird medicine. It's like six bucks. And my niece, Holly, did it for my sister, Martha, and I got to say a few choice things on that one. That was loads of fun. And instead of sending her a birthday card, and Holly paid for it. So there you go.

It was awesome. I'm sure she missed the birthday card. She didn't miss the birthday card. She didn't give a shit. She probably is still pissed I know and if you don't send her a thank you note oh my god's sake she's very strict about that but anyway she's 100 years old so I guess that she we can cut her some slack you know I think actually my sister this is my sister is going to be 80 can you imagine I think my sister I'm going to say that again I think my sister is going to be

80. That's pretty old. Okay, let me try that again. My sister is going to be 80. Okay, that's what I was going for anyway. All right. Please check out Dr. Scott's website at simplyerbils.net. It's kind of spelled like simplyherbales.net, but it's

misspelled if that's what you were looking for. It's simplyerbils.net. And yeah, there you go. So, hello, everyone. So I am the stupidest person that I know And there is a giant expensive mixing board Sitting on the floor over here And then I have another one in front of me

That's exactly like it, right? So last week How expensive? Well, weird medicine paid for it. Don't worry about it. It didn't come out of your money. You know, I have to spend some money for tax purposes so it's a tax thing.

But more than I would want to spend for no fucking reason. Excuse my French. But it was last week, if you remember, we were in here and we couldn't hear anything. And I said the USB channel coming from the computer to the mixing board is dead. And I tried everything. I tried pushing every freaking button on this thing, two-track to Maine, two-track not to Maine, two-track, you know, all this stuff, USB to two-track to Maine, et cetera, et cetera. People who know these mixing boards will know what I'm talking about.

And it was obvious that the USB channel was bad, and I didn't have another cable exactly like this one to test my hypothesis. Well, I didn't have time. I knew the next week I was supposed to be on the Anthony Coomia show, and we had a show here, and all this stuff was going on. So I just bought another mixing board, the identical, same one, because I know it works, and I didn't want to have to have a learning curve with a new mixing board. And this one has worked beautifully for us for years,

and I knew it would fail at some point. So it's 10 minutes before I'm supposed to be on Coomia, and I'm setting this damn thing up just frantically setting it all up and I set the one mixing board on top of the other one and then just took all the cables and moved them from the other board to this one and then I took all the settings and just mirrored them

and I turned it on same fucking thing now I know I'm a dumb ass so I didn't know this But in the Apple preferences, you can go to the audio channel for the computer. And there's the USB audio codec. That's what we use to communicate between the computer and the mixing board and vice versa in audio, digital audio. And there's a little button on there that says mute. And you can mute one channel going in or going out.

And it's like, oh, how did that get clicked? I've never seen that before. There's no way I clicked that. Oh, I did. Tacey. God damn you. It's her fault. Always trying to sabotage. This is my favorite place to be

is up here on this lovely floor. Messing with my equipment. No clue how it happened but I felt so stupid but also so relieved. So now we this is the new one that we're using and I've got the old one will just be a backup when this one goes bad.

Cool. Anyway, what an idiot. So let's go from being the dumbest person in the world to something more awesome. And we're killing a little bit of time because we can't call lady diagnosis till after 4.30 hour time. So it's just a couple of minutes. I thought most of you know I've been plugging the Rochester creep-off show. And this was one of these things where most of the time when Carl asked me to do something. Carl from the creep off

He's also the owner and the CEO and the host of Who Are These Podcasts? Did it his birthday today too? No, that's Mr. Cardiff. I forgot to say that. Happy birthday to...

No, we busted you last week. Well, that wasn't his birthday last week, but seriously, it is his birthday this week. It's crazy. So, happy birthday, Mr. Cardiff. So, Carl usually surprises me like at the Nashville show.

I didn't even know I was going to be on the stage. I just thought I was going to have a good time. And he's like, oh, here's your assignment. 24 hours ahead of time. So I had no fun the night before because I was pulling clips and trying to be funny and all this stuff. And that was the most nervous I've ever been

was getting on the stage in that Nashville show. More nervous doing that than I was doing Opium Anthony because I felt unprepared. At least at Opium Anthony, there wasn't anything I was supposed to do. And I mean, I did okay. a couple of laps like you know but it was it I didn't feel satisfied with it this time he they gave and mostly I mean I will say this it was mostly Vinnie

Paulino I think he's you know he was running this and he gave me two months notice so I give Carl credit because he's the co-host but I think the reason I got time to complete my assignment was because of Vinny and anyway so I was I was supposed to do anywhere between three and six minutes doing a roast. I've never done anything like that. I'm not a funny person. I know what's funny, though, and why do I know what's funny? Because I listen to Opie and Anthony, and Tacey and I have talked about this before. That was like comedy and Fess, too. It was like comedy college. Ron and Fez was sort of surreal comedy, and then Opie and Anthony was more, you know, East Coast sort of, this is how comedy works stuff. But if you

listened carefully to it. They would dissect jokes and tell you why this didn't work, why this did work, all while having fun. I mean, it wasn't like a sitting in a college class. It was hilarious. And the thing I liked about it is like if you listen to Bob and Tom, who we also loved. But if someone bombed on there, they would just blast right by it. Whereas on Opium Anthony, they'd go, whoa, whoa, whoa, what? And then Anthony would hit the car crash noise. And then sometimes they would talk about why that sucked so bad. you know and you would learn what works and what doesn't work so I've been a student of this it fascinated me and going to the cellar when we started going up there and remember that time we went up there and we saw Jim at the comics table with his laptop working on his art you know it was amazing to see you know the the amount of time and attention that they put on writing jokes and and making themselves just be funnier people so I see studied that and I always wanted to know what that felt like to get up in front of people and just make them laugh just me just me by myself but I didn't have the time I'm not going to go

do open mics and do all that shit I'm just don't have time to do it so I figured it would never happen but it was a bucket list thing I wanted to feel that right just one time so you know Vinny kind of gave me that opportunity so I had two months I started writing jokes the day he told me and some of them were okay some of them weren't some of them are still in my set some of them are long gone but I contacted several of my comedian friends Bobby Kelly I said well you help me and he hooked me up he said no no no dude you know call these guys and you know one of them charged me 150 bucks I didn't use any of his jokes but it was very nice of him but it kind of stimulated it was fine it stimulated I knew what I didn't want to do and that's not a bad thing

It's not to say the jokes were bad, but he didn't know these people. So then I went to people who did know him. So Rich Voss knew Vinny because he'd worked that club before. And Jim Norton knew Carl because he had done WATP. And both of them agreed to help me. Now, Voss, I called him on the phone, and he just started ripping off one joke after another. Just, you know, and it was, I was like, stop, stop. I've got to write this shit down.

And then Norton was more deliberate. He said, let me get back to you. And about a week later, he sent me a page of jokes. And I used some of them. Like, he sent me one that said, Carl should quit smiling so much because he looks like a Nazi propaganda poster. And I didn't, you know,

I knew where he was going with that. And it was kind of funny. But Tacey and I both said, we don't want to be doing Nazi propaganda jokes. But Jimmy could get away with that. Jimmy could get away with that. I couldn't get away with that. But I used the idea,

changed it completely. I wanted to introduce the topic of Carl's teeth. So I said, you know, let's talk about the elephant in the room. Not you, Vinny, because I was going to do a whole bunch of fat jokes. I'll get to you in a minute. You know, Carl's teeth.

You know, Carl's teeth are so you know, Carl's teeth are so bad he looks like an English brothel or something like that. That was just to introduce the topic and then I had a bunch of really strong jokes. And so I was massaging these jokes the whole time because again

I'm not funny but I know what's funny now I did write some of the jokes some of the ones I wrote were better than others but one of them I wrote really landed really well I was very proud of myself and so you know I just wanted to

not suck and that's what I kept telling Vinny I just don't want to not suck I mean I just want to not suck and I'm going to play a little bit of it I'm not going to play the whole thing because it's behind paywall and I don't want Vinnie to send me a cease and desist for playing copy written material behind his paywall. But I do have just a couple of seconds of it. But then I want to play the thing that makes me the happiest of all of this. Hang on just a second. Now this crowd

was amazing. By the way, we had three people who were fans of our show that were there. It was Sean Pedrick, Amanda Davidson, and Greg Rogers. And Greg had, emailed me and I'm not going to say why because he didn't want it necessarily for me to talk about in the air but I said you should come to this thing you know I've got a VIP table and I've got four seats

there and then Sean and Amanda want them just by you know raising their hand at the right time in the chat room kind of and it was cool to have them there you know I had people that were people that I knew were there because they liked our show

too you know but anyway So here, this is just the beginning of, I'm just going to pay a minute, because I don't want to get a cease and desist. I have to say that I'm very grateful that you guys let me be a party. Andy, everybody. Wait a minute, okay, here we are. That was Trucker Andy. Our next presenter is twice the doctor that Dr. Phil is. Unfortunately, that number is still zero.

Everybody give it up for Dr. Steve. This will be mostly painless. Vladimir Putin. Oh, I'm sorry. Wait, that's for the Tom Myers roast. That's an in-joke. Dr. Steve from Weird Medicine. I'm the oldest person here.

I'm about as old as Joe Biden. I read an article recently that said age contributes to memory loss. It also contributes to memory loss. Pause for laughter. Read the line twice. All right. Thank God that went over. I was really nervous.

Shoot, thank God. I first met Carl because of my job in radio. I also work in hospice, which is the job I wish I met him at. You know, there were meat and greet tickets tonight. Tickets without a meet and greet were $100. Okay, that one's okay. I started checking them off with my pan. Let's talk about the elephant in the room.

Not you, Vinnie. I'll get to you. Carl's teeth. Yes, he has worse teeth than an English brothel. You always know Carl's getting ready for bed when he's in the math room putting toothpaste on a jigsaw. Okay, I really can't play anymore. No. That was awesome.

But if you want to hear the rest of that, it's on the creek ball. Patreon. They've got a really inexpensive Patreon. Maybe someday they'll put the video up. And yeah, it was so much fun. And I, let me see. There is one other thing. This is the thing

that made me the happiest because I talked to our friend maybe it was Stacy I was talking to him about. He said, oh, now you're going to just be doing comedy all the time. It's like, no. No. That wasn't the point of this. This was a project. I had an assignment. I just want

it to not suck. And that's it. I'm fine. I never need to ever do this again. And I don't want to ever do it again. But that feeling, I'm going to tell you, halfway through, I started having a little more fun with it, too. I was a lot less nervous. And like Tom Myers, I started laughing at my own jokes. And that was bad. And I would get rid of that if I could. But I'm an amateur. You got to, it kept me some slack on that. But it was just for me, a bucket list moment and I really appreciate Carl and Vinnie giving me the opportunity to do something like that because it really meant a lot to me and I could almost croak right now and I'd be it's like okay then my top three things Mary and Tacey and having our kids the number one greatest joy

of my life number two the greatest achievement probably you know not my publications you know I've got a lot of publications and stuff. That's cool. But creating this system thing that we did. I mean, we've got a huge medical system, and we did a really neat project with that. And that's number two. But this would be number three. This is up there.

That's pretty big. So anyway, this is what really made me very happy was when Cardiff Electric, who was there, who, by the way, is a fucking genius. and I posted a picture on my Twitter and if you look at it he always comes in with the Michael Myers mask it was a thousand degrees in there and he was in character

the whole time with this Michael Myers mask and like his really heavy jacket he must I thought he was going to die and it was funny watching him when he would actually get tickled at something you'd see Michael Myers you know laughing but he stood in the back of the room for the first hour and they actually called

the management thinking something bad was going to happen. Oh, no. Yeah, the guys who were running ahead had to say, no, he's fine, he's fine. But I have this picture from the stage looking out into the crowd, and it says, zoom in, zoom way in, and the farther you zoom in, all of a sudden you see Michael Meyer standing in the back of the crowd. And he was brilliant. I don't want to go into it too far, but, you know, I've already said, you know,

more than I probably should on this show. But anyway, I wanted to play this because this is Carl and V. Vinny talking about this on their show just, I think, just recorded today. And Dr. C. was the funniest guy on the dais. Yeah, no one saw that coming. He had no confidence. He's constantly

like, I don't know why I'm even here. And he groped all of us. He crushed all of us. He was fucking amazing. Rope ad doped us. He pretended out, he was all rubber-legged walking up. Yeah, I know. And then he just got winded up, Jam. Holy shit. He destroyed.

Speaking of roasting. Anyway, so. Well, you put a lot of work into it. Yeah. And you helped me a lot, too. I did not. Yes, you did. Tacey practiced with me.

Once. More than once. And you helped me with those jokes, too, you know, telling me which ones. Because I had questions about stuff. And you told me, yeah, I don't think that's going to work or this will work and stuff. And I appreciate it. But anyway, there you go. So the roast of Carl and Vinny at the creepoff, Patreon.

Patreon.com slash the creepoff. All right. Let's take just a second here, and I'm going to turn off the equipment. And then I'm going to get lady diagnosis on the phone so that we can do tit-talk with Lydia. It was tit-talk with Tacey, but now it's T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T with Lydia. We can be both, right? Well, I had a different procedure. Yes, that's true.

Okay, on the phone, we have Lady Diagnosis. Hello, Lady Diagnosis. Hello, Dr. Steve. So good to hear you on the phone. We have PA Lydia here. I don't think you two have ever met. Hi, Lady Diagnosis. Hi, Lydia.

So, and Tasey's here and Dr. Scott. What's up? Hey, guys. So, I'm sorry we couldn't have you here. in the studio because we're going to get Lydia to like touch your boobs and stuff but we'll do that another time. So she is thinking about

so this is my plan is I'm going to have three different people in the studio. I've got you who had like normal implants or you know augmentation. Then I have a friend who had what we would we're going to refer to as a more extreme version

and then we're going to have one of Lainey Spikes Reiser's clients on who has just, you know, monster, monster implants. And she, because Lydia isn't 100% sure that she's going to do it. Now, she's had a kid, you have one kid, right? I have one child, yep. And can we talk about the other thing that's going on with your, you know, with your life? Yeah, I don't care.

Okay, well, she's not with her husband anymore. Yeah. And she came in here and she used to make jokes about herself being in the itty-bitty titty club and all that kind of stuff and then all of a sudden that her tune kind of changed now you and her have similar body types so and probably similar you know you both of you forgot to grow boobs during high school I guess and so I was just wondering if you could just talk about your your journey when it comes to you know getting your augmentation and all that kind of stuff well yeah that's awesome Can you hear me okay?

Yeah. Okay, okay, because I keep cutting out on you. So, yeah, I just decided one day that I was tired of my dresses, my sundress is not sitting and not being able to wear sun dresses, which was the main reason I got boobs. Why can't you wear a sundress? But I didn't want them. This is something that a guy wouldn't understand. So if you wore a sundress, what would happen would just hang open and people could see down your shirt?

Is that what it was? It just didn't fit right, so it wasn't cute. It was just, it was ugly on me. Okay, okay. And I can't exactly. Yeah, Lydia is it, Lydia. Yeah, I feel you on that for sure. Sundress is a small window of women who can wear them.

Yeah. You got too big, your boobs are too big, you can forget it. And if you don't have any, you can forget it. Yeah. Interesting. You get the gap. The gap. Yeah.

Where it's just hanging open. Yeah. But I will say the advent of the breast pedal has been great for small breasted women. What the hell is a breast pedal? It's like a little sticky gel thing. Oh, and you actually lift. Well, so I just figured out that you can lift with it. Yes.

I just figured that out this year. Yeah. But that's enhanced my sundress experience. But yes, she's on point. Yeah. Are you wearing one now? Are you wearing a breast pedal now? I'm not a sports bra.

with no padding. I'm wearing a breast pedal now. We figured you were. I had to pretend like I didn't know what it was. We were just acting. Yeah, so since you had it done, talk a little bit about the procedure, and you are cutting in and out, and I don't know what the problem is. I think it's on your end. But I was sort of hoping that you would be at home by the time I called you.

but can you sort of walk us through the procedure itself and then whether you've been satisfied with the result? Well, I did it strangely because I went to like an hour and a half, two hours away to a doctor. And so my first visit was my pre, my consult, and then they took me right into surgery. Holy that. Awesome. Yeah, yeah. And I had no follow-ups, nothing. What?

I love it. But I didn't really get a chance to feel out different sizes either, because I think that's more what they do in the pre-ops and then the consults. So I just went in thinking, you know, I was really, like, not even in an A. So I went in thinking, okay, I want to be. Yeah. And then she says, oh, no one's ever said, oh, I was too big. Okay, well, I'm the one because she went ahead and put me up into a high C, in some Victoria's Secret bras, I'm a D.

And I wanted a B. And that was kind of my fault because I couldn't get there earlier and do all that stuff. Yeah, that's interesting, isn't that? I definitely recommend trying on, if you can, implants in a bra to see how it feels carrying that. But you don't, I mean, you don't look out of performance. Portion, like ridiculously out of proportion. I was going to say that you just went, you're my example of a normal. When I say normal, I mean, there's not a typical.

Typical. Typical, yeah, thank you. Yeah, and I'm used to it now. It just took me a long time to get used to it because it's not what I had expected. Yeah. And it does fit my body, but, you know, where I'd been flat for so long. It was weird. I was a runner.

I exercised and they were in my way. But, yeah, I muddled through. But I'm glad I did. So when you run now, are you like Andy from the office screaming, my nipples, my nipples? No, it's funny. When I do run, I just carry them. Oh, that's hilarious.

I don't run anymore. Like, if I'm doing aerobics, I literally will have one arm under my boobs, just holding them up and, you know, with the other. They don't make things for that? Isn't that what sports browser for? Well, I mean, you have to get a really, really, really tough one to hold those babies in. Wow. And they're hard to put on, too.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. This is fascinating. This is all stuff. No Kai has any experience with it. It's so easy having small breasts.

Except for one podcaster that I know of that is. Yeah. It's just so easy. I don't have to think about it. I don't have to wear a bra. You just wear one of these little teeny boppers. Yeah, why bother, right? That's awesome.

Well, you're going to miss that, but it's worth it. You'll miss that part. But then again, there's sometimes you can go without a bra because you have boots now and you don't have to lift them off your belly button like I did. Yeah. Well, that sort of sounds like having an A cup and you say, oh, well, you don't have to do this or that. It sounds like when women get the real short haircut and go, oh, I don't have to do anything. to fix it anymore, you know what? Yeah. It's like, no, we just keep the long hair.

That's a good parallel. Except your hair can grow out. Suffer a little, yeah. So you would do it again. You would do it again. Oh, God, yeah. Yes, yes. But I think I should have probably got it under the muscle because I feel like, and I don't know if they are or not, like they're kind of drooping down a little now because they're kind

of heavy and I didn't get them under the muscle. So that's one suggestion I would make. what I hear from everybody, particularly if you've got A cups and you're going to something larger, you know, a B or a C that you get it under the muscle. And you want an artist too to do this. You don't want just some

Absolutely. Yeah. Diane, what kind of benefit did they give you for having it over the muscle? Like how did they talk you into that? Or did they give you the option? I just heard it was less painful

and that's really the... I think that There might have been a slight cost difference. I think it cost a little more to go under. And this was, I was already, you know, strapped. Yeah. So I took the cheapest option, less painful. So, you know, I had two little kids. I was still having to run around and chase them, so I didn't have help.

Yeah. So I had to hurry up and heal. Well, those were my two issues. Yeah. Hey, let me ask you this. What about the downsides with the unwanted attention from men? All of a sudden, guys who never noticed you before. are like, whoa, whoa, what's the, what do we have here?

What about that and the creepy guys? I know, that sucked. No, it was funny because right after I, I worked in a factory when I had it done. And so the guys there, they were like, hmm, so what happened? And I'd be like, I'd take my two fingers and take them at my boobs, at my eyes, and be like, pull them down to my boobs. Oh, yeah. That's funny. me in my eyes, look at my boots.

Yeah, exactly. And they would just crack up. So I loved it. Yep. My boobs are down here, boys. Why are you looking at my eyes? That's exactly what I'd say. That is hilarious.

Okay. All right. You not paid for them. Yeah. And did you get saline or silicone? That's my last question. Saline or silicone? Silicon, Diane.

Well, uh-oh. I got silicone, but I don't know what the difference is. Yeah, okay. No, that's okay. For a while there, they weren't doing silicone because of the Asia syndrome, but it is so rare. But actually, the person we're going to have on in two weeks actually has silicone implants. They did not leak, and she still has Asia syndrome. And that is that autoimmune syndrome caused by adjuvants and silicone.

And silicone is one of the things that's considered to be one of the offending agents in that. So we'll talk about that. And, you know, I want somebody in here to talk to you about the extreme downs. Extremely rare as it is. I mean, I've been doing this for, you know, I've been in medicine 37 years. I've probably seen, I know one, and maybe two, maybe two in my career. And I've seen lots of people within place. But I've heard, well, I worked at a plastic surgeon's office, and he said, even if they're leaking, doesn't matter what kind they were.

He never asked, so I assume it was, you know, fine either way. The body is not going to have any kind of an issue with that being in, you know. Unless they do. Unless they do, though. There is a very rare. It's not common. Right. No, it's extremely rare.

It's not common. Do you have any, like. So he would have people. Sorry, go ahead. Oh, he would just tell them, you know, I would say, oh, my God, their boobs are, you know, leaking, and I'd want to get them in the next day, and I'd check with him because, you know, he's booked out months. He'd go, no, he goes, they'll be fine. He goes, there's no problem, there's no emergent issue with if your implant does blow up or explode or leak out.

So that's comforting. What were you going to ask? Do you have any numbness after the procedure? like any like ariola numbness or like other paristhias or abnormal sensations in your breasts? I still am kind of numb a little bit. Yeah. It took a long, long time for the numbness to wear off to where I can feel. When you say numbness, you're talking about nipple numbness?

Because if you're nipple-centric. Go ahead. I'm feeling them right now, so excuse me. Nice. No, I mean, there's not a lot of sensation in, yeah, I mean, the nipples still hurt if you pinch him, of course. Yeah, okay. Really, I don't feel much there. All right.

But that doesn't bother me. Any other questions, Lydia? No, I think that that's good. So you're overall quite happy, maybe go a little smaller so you don't have to hold yourself while you. That's her. No, you need to go as large as you want to. Don't listen to her. I don't listen to him.

exactly all right thank you what you want to do thanks Diane thank you Olivia we need to hang out and touch breasts one night yeah let's do it

oh my god all right bye bye see you day all right bye bye that delay we had was rough

quite something yeah but worked out worked out okay so now Tacey you have had a different procedure, which we've talked about, where you had a reduction mammoplasty. And, but you had some numbness as well, is that right?

Because they had to take your nipple off and, you know, and sew it back on there. Yeah, no, but I have all the feeling that I used to have. It's all back to normal. Yeah. I'm very fortunate to have that. Well, and you had a good surgeon, too. Okay, yeah. So in two weeks. Yeah, that's part one. In two weeks, we're going to have a different sort of story for you.

Okay? Yeah. Thank you guys. All right. Any questions from the waiting room? Dr. Scott. Not yet. No?

Okay. Any? They're all mesmerized. Yeah, they're all like, huh? She's touching her boobs right now. They're bigger. They're already bigger. Just talking about it.

All right. You guys want, oh, so we have. some question or we have a topic that was very interesting that's kind of apropos in that it's female related but it's female related yeah female centric right yep and i think you're one of the experts on on this thank you how did you know that you've been listening i remember you saying that one time oh you knew i was an expert because i said it expert on yep no i am though i am this is one of the things. Even Joe Rogan's partner, Brian Redman, somebody had brought something up and it was trending on Twitter. And he tweeted out, Dr. Steve settled this ages ago. You need to talk to him.

And I really appreciated that. Brian's good fella. But anyway, so it's about... The topic is female ejaculation. Excellent. Excellent. So you want to take it? I was going to... Yeah. I can intro and we can talk about it. So, no, I will give you credit for sending me this article, right? That was recently published in the International Journal of Urology. Excellent. So it's not a some shit journal. Correct.

Yeah, it is a peer-reviewed journal. Yeah. Well, I mean, you know, International Journal Urology, it's not one of Dr. Scott's, you know, alternative medicine. Shots fire. Let's get now. Okay, so the title of this is enhanced visualization of female squirting. It's amazing there isn't a better phrase, like a better term.

There is. It's called coital incontinence, but that's okay. Let's see what they're talking about because we have discussed a certain kind of visualization that they did with ultrasound, where they discovered that coital incontinence, aka true squirting, as opposed to female ejaculation, is a distinct syndrome. it's not a syndrome, but it's a distinct condition that, you know, because people say, well, it's just piss. Well, okay, it depends on how you define piss. If piss is anything that comes from the bladder, then yeah, it's piss.

But it's not urine. It is a, unless you define urine as anything produced by the kidneys that's then expelled by the bladder, then it is urine. But it is not like any other urine. and it is physiologically completely different. And it's only produced during sexual stimulation of certain women and their kidneys turn on and it's probably a brain thing. You've heard of diabetes insipitous? Okay, so diabetes insipitous, people pee out free water

because they lack the antidioretic hormone that is a thing that causes them to resort free water and just pee out waste products. and solutes and stuff, unless they've got too much free water and they pee that out. This basically is a case where they have diabetes insipitous for a short period of time during sexual stimulation. Well, they will only produce extremely hypotonic fluid,

which is basically free water, which is why when you have guys that are down there, you know, doing their thing, you know, eating at the Y or whatever you want to say. eating at the one I've ever heard that okay performing when people are down there

performing cunnelingus and then they have their girlfriend who squirts and they like it they say it's not piss it doesn't taste like urine Oh God, it's so disgusting and that's why it tastes like

free water because that's what it is okay so anyway so that's the background of coital incontinence, which is, by the way, distinct from female ejaculation. Yeah, so we are moving specifically to female ejaculation for this. Oh, really? From the skein's glands, or is this? This is from the skein's glands proposed.

Oh, not this? Okay. So let's talk about that just for a second. We know that there is prostateic-like tissue between the labia matura and labia menorah, and that's the skein glands. And they will produce a white, milky substance in some women. And some women will do both. And that's female ejaculation.

And they'll do, some women will do one or the other, or some will do both or some will do neither, which is what is confused people over the years. And the difference is if you test that fluid that's coming out of those skeins glands, it will have prostateic specific antigen in it. And urine will not. So there you go. All right. Okay. Now we go. So the purpose of this study was to elucidate the mechanism of squirting.

Excellent. Yeah. And so what they did was take five women who were not sex workers. Okay, good. But who had the ability to squirt. Why didn't they use sex workers? I don't know. I don't even know why they had to say that. I know. Right. Just five women. Five women if they want to be sex workers. Yeah, right. Five women who were not attorneys at law.

Against their will. Yeah. They were not against their will. Well, I guess they didn't want to think that they were paying them and exploiting them. Or exploited, yeah. So what they did was. they took these five women. Two of them were in their 30s, two were in their 40s, one was in her 50s. Excellent. And they placed a urethral catheter, so they put a tube in through the urethra into the bladder, emptied the bladder through the catheter. Yes.

And then instilled a mixture of an indigo and saline, so like a colored. It's a dye. Yeah, a dye solution. There's 50 ccs of that or 50 milliliters. Which is very small. That's two teaspoons, right? It's a teaspoon, 25mm. A teaspoon is 15.

No, wait, no, a teaspoon is five. So it's five tablespoons. Five teaspoons. Yeah, so just small amount. Five teaspoons be 25, so it'd be 10 teaspoons. No, shit. Wait. I think a tablespoon is third.

Anyway, it's not that much. Table spoon is 30, that's right. Yeah. So they put 50. They put 50 total. So a tablespoon and a half. I'm glad we wrapped that up. Jesus.

Oh, wait. A teaspoon is 5ML. Yeah. It was 10. I had 50 emels of fluid pulled out of my knee once. Really? That's pretty cool. There's nothing to do with anything.

Same amount. So did it hurt? It's dilled into these bladders. It might have been the same fluid. Did it hurt when they did it? It hurt like an MF. So then they proceeded to perform sexual stimulation. Okay.

Did they say how they did that? Yes. Specifically, three only required manual simulation and two. required penetrative. By themselves? They did it themselves? They did not state that. Oh, my God. See, I'm just imagining what these guys are okay. And I did not pay the $50

to the full article. So we are reading the abstracts. The abstract's fine. So apparently it does specify that these women had to have the anterior vaginal wall stimulated. Okay. See, science is fine. Anyway,

so then... Tacey's like nerd when you're watching, when I'm I'm watching science stuff on YouTube, and it's like, no, science is fun. This is, this is exactly why. The simulation was videotaped. Oh. Excellent. For verification.

And watched later. And then the secretions were collected in sterile cups. And then they took sad cups. Okay. And checked them for PSA. Okay. So all five women were able to do this to, you know, squirt. And the reason they instilled the weight, with,

The reason they instilled the bladder with indigo was if this stuff had indigo dye in it, this fluid, they would know it came from the bladder. Yeah. That's pretty tricky. In all cases, the discharged fluid was blue. Oh, it was? It was in all five cases. So it did come from. It all came from the bladder.

And it was PSA positive in four out of the five. Okay. So we know the reason why. Because it was contaminated by fluid from their skein's glands. and so those people had both coital incontinence and female ejaculation. Correct. Thank you.

Thank you. And that's it? That's basically it. I thought they were doing enhanced imaging. So what was the imaging part? No, the imaging part was actual visualization of the squirting. Oh, for God's sake. So they got up there and looked.

Yeah, they got you with that mass spectroscopy tag on the photo. Like on the link you sent me, there was like a nice, like, It made it look like we were about to really see the components. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's not the case. So visualization. Can you imagine these scientists with their white lab coats and pocket protectors, and this woman is somehow stimulating her anterior vaginal wall?

And they're just up there like six inches away looking at it. You all crowded. I mean, it takes a special lady. It does. one that's really interested in science. She's really contributing to science. Yes. Wow.

Thank God. So in conclusion. So we didn't learn anything more than we knew before. Okay. Well, yeah. Their conclusion, the main component of squirt fluid is urine, but may also contain fluid from skein's glands or the female prostate. I think that's a range, right?

They didn't specify urine. Well, okay. From the blue stuff. But it's not, okay, it just depends on how you define urine. Again, go to Dr.steve.com, put in female ejaculation. You can read the story about it. And I wrote up a whole thing, summarizing the evidence in the literature. And, again, the reason there's confusion is because some people do both.

And in these people, four out of five of them did both. So most of the fluid was blue. So that means it came from the bladder. So how do you define urine? Well, what was interesting about the other studies were they looked at the specific gravity of the fluid, and it was 0.0.0. I wish I had that drop from Dean Wormer. 0.0. Damn it. If I'd known we were doing it. Fat, drunken, stoop. There's no way to go through life. Mr. Blutarsky. Mr. Blutarski. 0.0.0. I love it. The greatest movie's ever made.

But, yeah, that ain't urine. I mean, you can do that, but it's usually a pathologic state, or you're just hyper hydrated. And this is special fluid. It is water. It's made by the kidneys and it gets to the outside through the bladder. So you can say, yeah, that's piss, but it ain't piss in the way that we think of piss. Right. In the smelly sense.

I think of piss. Smilly, salty sense. Right. Smelly, salty, urine. Any difference in the amount of fluid released between the age groups? You know, they did not. The younger versus the older? They really need to say. I kind of want to pay for the article.

You know, if they had babies or not babies. Or was there greater than 50 cc's of fluid secreted? Yeah, I guarantee you there was. If the older ones had, you know. The study we did on the old Anthony Coombeah Network, that woman secreted gallons of fluid. Oh, my God. It got started and it didn't stop. And that's the other thing.

No one is making that much urine. You just can't pee that much. It was just constantly flowing. You know, for the whole time that she was stimulating. What did you? Oh, well, I was here, and they did it there. And Bobo had a doctor's outfit on, and it was collecting the urine with a, they made him a collection thing with a urine collection cup on the end of a ruler, and they taped it on with, like, duct tape. And he was down there collecting this fluid.

And then they tested it. I had sent them some test kits for PSA. And they were basically, those are used in, you know, rape analysis and other things like that. Where you're just trying to see is there something that came from somebody's prostate in this fluid that's in here. And but we repurposed it for this other thing. And I showed them how to do it. And I walked them through it. And lo and behold, that fluid had prosthetic specific antigen in it.

Dr. Harry Fish had done he had gotten another porn or I'm sorry adult film actress in his office and he'd only done half the study because he tested the fluid for urea and said yeah it's just piss it's just piss it's like Harry

he's not a scientist he's a you know he's a clinician and that's not the science that doesn't tell you anything what that tells you that yes some of the fluid came from the bladder but it doesn't tell you whether there is

female ejaculation in there. So you've got to do both. You test for urea and for PSA. And so he'd already done that part, so I did the other half. And there you go. And all we did was just confirm what was already in the medical literature. It's very clear

what this really is. And if you look at that one study, it talks about how this fluid is different than normal urine. Did you say what rate of women do that? It was anywhere between. They They estimated between 7 and 50% of women. I think 50's a reach, right?

Yeah, I think 50 was a reach. Seven's too low. Yeah. Unless it's just a teeny bit that nobody notices. Yeah. Yeah, the stuff that we're talking about, you couldn't miss it. I mean, these women have to have intercourse with, you know, layers of towels on their bed. Wow, that's one of those waterproof.

And a waterproof cover. Yeah, yeah, because it's just everywhere. It's amazing. I'm thinking through the logistics. of this. Yeah, I need to deal with it, but I don't. It's bad. Yeah, no, be glad.

I'm glad. Yeah. So, although the people that do, they love it. They have small boobs, but I don't have to do it. There you go. Well, then. Give yourself a bill. God does not give with both hands.

All right. You guys want to answer some questions while we're here? Well, Scott has something I would like for him to go over. This new COVID booster shot. Okay, let's talk about it. Number one thing. Don't take advice. from some asshole on the radio.

Which is appropriate for if we're going to talk about COVID boosters and stuff. The Omicron-specific COVID booster shot. Yes. Side effects. Is it worth doing? What are the recommendations? What have you got, Scott? Blah, blah, blah.

Well, I've got the side effects from the re-engineered COVID vaccines. Yeah, and it's going to be the same as the other one. But what do you got? Well, thankfully, both Pfizer and Moderna's BA1 shots, they're showing pretty much the exact same thing as we had in the original shots. Pain, fatigue, headache, muscle pain, chills, joint pain, redness at this swelling site, or injection site, and possibly a short course of fever. Yeah. Okay.

So what they're doing, though, is that kids, they're still expected to get myocarditis. And they do minimize that because all those kids that got myocarditis with very few exceptions got better. And, you know, the disease still sucks. I have my, okay, I got to be careful. I know somebody that was at risk, okay, admittedly, at risk. But a young person at risk, so you can imagine, you know, what risk factors they might have had. You just figure it out.

And they got COVID for the second time, vaccinated twice, boosted once, got COVID once, had not been boosted again, but got COVID again. and now is having to go to a post-COVID clinic because they've got all kinds of after effects. But, you know, Jimmy Dorr talks about this on his show. The people who need these things are the people at risk. It's the elderly. It's most of the time, most of the time. What about overweight? Well, yes, but it's people who are over their life expectancy.

And if you're grossly overweight, you could be over your life expectancy at my age. So if you are at risk, you should absolutely get one. I'm trying to decide whether I'm going to do it. And I, you know, hell, we may get our YouTube channel taken down because I haven't decided exactly yet if I'm going to do it yet. But, you know, I've been boosted. I had a complication from COVID. And I was in the trial. I got the thing early and I had a badass case of COVID during Delta.

and now this stupid omacron. But we're not seeing, it's not shutting down the hospitals like we were. We're not seeing. I mean, you've seen that. You remember in the peak of it during Delta particularly and, you know, OG COVID when we were just shutting down wards and just shoving people on ventilators in those. And we're not seeing that. I remember just, I think often I would diagnose COVID and. say bye to the patient.

Yeah. And now. Because those pre-vaccines, our cancer patients had 25% death rate. Yeah. So what we're seeing now is people are coming into the hospital for a procedure. And, oh, they tested positive for COVID. So talk to your health care provider. If you're at high risk, definitely get one.

If you're not, it's something to think about. But consider, you know, all the risk factors, risk benefits and alternatives before you make a decision. I do want to talk a little bit about the influenza vaccine. I got a call the other day. Do you want to be in the Pfizer-MRNA universal of influenza vaccine trial? And I was like, do I? Can you imagine?

Nope. You're not going to do it? Was that a nope? What? That you wouldn't do that? A universal influenza vaccine. I would jump at that in a second. To never have to have it again.

So I'm not 100% sure it's universal, but that was what they implied to me, but I'll let you know. But it's an MRNA influenza vaccine. I don't see why it would be, you know, for quadravalent when you're doing it with mRNA, why would you do that? Do a single universal protein that you can attack influenza with, and it's done. Kill it for once and for all. We got one strain during COVID.

We killed it. Just through social distancing, that one was so. fragile. It needed people to be close to each other to be transmitted and it was Yama I can't remember it was influenza Yama Gucci or something like that. So many people would say, where's the flu?

Yeah. Patients are where's the flu? Yeah, yeah, yeah, no. I'm like it's because you're wearing a mask. Yamagata. It was Yamagata. It's behind your mask. Influenza B. Yamagata and it's gone. And you know who else said where's the flu? Infectious disease specialists.

We have an infectious disease specialist in our hospital who, you know, he normally takes care of all the influenza patients during the second year of influenza, we didn't have any. I think maybe he saw two patients.

And he said, if this is what it's going to do to influenza because, you know, the original are not, you know, the transmission number of OG COVID was 2.4, which meant one person could infect 2.4 people in a vulnerable population.

Influenza is only 1.2. So all that social distancing that didn't, you know, maybe it flattened the curve a little bit, but the shutdown surely didn't do anything, you know, for society, but, but F it up. But what it did do is it destroyed influenza. And influenza Yamagata is gone. I wish I had taps because another one smallpox influenza Yamagata two out of the way two down six coronavirus is to go a couple of Marburg type you know RNA viruses like you know Ebola and Marburg and stuff like that get rid of those rabies your toast measles toast fuck yourselves fucking fuckers dirty viruses I hate them

let's just reproduce inside a human body for no reason preons should be shaking in their boots yeah and then the preons are next they can kiss my ass too coming from you for you but uh you know I just don't don't eat

cow parts when they've been shaking a lot that's the thing all right And so getting back to this COVID vaccine thing, do what you think you should do. I'm not here to tell you what to do, but we will give you data when we have it. And if you are at high risk, you know, if you're at risk of complications from COVID-19, you should get vaccinated. I will make that blanket statement. What are they saying about if you got all Pfizer before, do you, does it matter?

The common wisdom has been that it doesn't matter. Okay. With this new one? That it doesn't matter. But that's common wisdom. You know, common wisdom was that thalidomide was a really good drug for sleepy, you know, for vomiting and insomniac pregnant women. So, you know, I'm not saying this is the same situation, but we have to be careful about, well, no, but you have to be careful about common wisdom, period. True, true, true, true.

Just because something seems to make sense, it doesn't always make it so. All right. Okay. What else we got to do? Got one last question. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Amanda Davidson says...

Amanda Davidson? The delightful Amanda Davidson. She was asking, this is something women are born able to do, or do they develop this ability? Are you talking about squirting? Yeah. Yeah, able to do is probably a weird way to put it. They're, you know, cursed by it, some women would say. And others would like it, I guess.

So I guess, yeah, able to do it would be. I don't think it's a learned thing. And it's not, these women aren't necessarily incontinent either. They're only incontinent during coitus or sexual stimulation. At one point, my ex did some research on this. Because he wanted. Yeah, he thought it was inducible. He wanted you to do it?

Yeah, it was not successful. Good. Okay, what kind of things did he do to you? He had researched and felt that it was inducible. So how did he try to induce it? Stimulation of the interior vaginal wall. Oh, yeah. Well, of course, because that's where the bladder is.

What he was trying to do was empty out your bladder, though the same way you would empty out a prostate by just decreasing, by increasing the pressure and decreasing the volume of the bladder. But if you don't have a giant filled up bladder, with hypotonic fluid in it. It won't do anything because you're like a clean person and you would have urinated, you know, voided your bladder

before intercourse. So if you had a minute, you know, if you had a warning, it was coming. Yeah. Yeah, so that's... And I'm pea shy anyway, so... Yeah. We should talk about male peeshineess sometime.

I have a cure for it. Howard Stern has it. I wouldn't want him to call in. But I know he wouldn't do what I told him to do and he would just go off and on time. I can't pee in the ocean, though. No, I cannot. I am pee shy in the ocean.

But that's, that is temperature controlled, I think. That the water is a different temperature than my body, and it just does, it just shuts everything down. But I used to not be able to pee, like, at a concert. Like, if I had to go real bad, I couldn't go in a stall if there were other dudes around. And I'd have to wait until everybody left, which would piss people off. It's like, dude, you know, I need to piss and you're just standing there for 10 minutes. And then if somebody came in, it would interrupt it.

So let's put that on the agenda for next time. And we'll talk about that, Dr. Scott. Sounds good. I have a cure for it because I no longer suffer from that. I'm excited. A little teaser. We'll do it. The teaser.

All right. Thanks. Always go to Dr. Scott and to Tacey and P.A. Lydia. In two weeks, P.A. Lydia will be back. We will be discussing her journey to breast augmentation. Thanks to everyone who's made this show happen over the years. Thanks Carl and Vinnie again for, and producer Chris and everybody that was associated with that show for letting me have a really, really fun moment that I'll never forget.

Listen to our Sirius XM show on the Faction Talk channel, SiriusXM Channel 103, Saturdays at 7 p.m. Eastern, Sunday at 6 p.m. Eastern on demand. And other times at Jim McClure's pleasure, many thanks to our listeners whose voicemail and topic ideas make this job very easy. Go to our website at Dr.steve.com. I almost forgot our website. For schedules, podcasts, other crap. Until next time, check your stupid nuts for lumps,

quit smoking, get off your asses, get some exercise. We'll see you in one week for the next edition of Weird Medicine. Thanks, everybody. Thank you. Thank you.