Weird Medicine: The Podcast - 541 - Fanmail From Some Flounder

Episode Date: February 15, 2023

Dr Steve PA Lydia, Dr Scott, and Tacie discuss: perforated IUDs Kyphoplasty gone awry Cat cowpox Menstrual BMs Animal Self-pleasure Weed smell in your pores Tinnitus Dark, Sticky Splooge Software glitch in a sports watch Erratum: Giant chicken breasts = mendelian genetics not hormones Please visit: stuff.doctorsteve.com (for all your online shopping needs!) simplyherbals.net  (Dr Scott's website) simplyherbals.net/cbd-sinus-rinse (the best he's ever made. Seriously.) roadie.doctorsteve.com (the greatest gift for a guitarist or bassist! The robotic tuner!) Also don't forget: Cameo.com/weirdmedicine (Book your old pal right now while he’s still cheap! "FLUID!" Most importantly! CHECK US OUT ON PATREON!  ALL NEW CONTENT! Robert Kelly, Mark Normand, the O&A Troika, Joe DeRosa, Pete Davidson, Geno Bisconte. Stuff you will never hear on the main show ;-) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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What did the father Buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bye son. If you just read the bio for Dr. Steve, host of weird medicine on Sirius XM103, and made popular by two really comedy shows, Opie and Anthony and Ron and Fez, you would have thought that this guy was a bit of, you know, a clown. Why can't you give me the respect that I'm entitled to?

I've got the period crushing myself against. I've got the bolivir stripping from my nose I've got the leprosy of the heartbound exacerbating my incredible woes I want to take my brain out and blast with the wave an ultrasonic ecographic and a pulsating shave I want a magic pill

all my ailments the health equivalent of citizen cane And if I don't get it now in the tablet I think I'm doomed then I'll have to go insane I want a requiem for my disease So I'm paging Dr. Steve From the world famous Cardiff Electric Network Studios, it's weird medicine, the first and still only on censored medical show in the history of broadcast radio, now a podcast. I'm Dr. Steve with my little pal, Dr. Scott, the traditional Chinese medicine provider.

It gives me street grad with the wacko alternative medicine assholes. Hello, Dr. Scott. Hey, Dr. Steve. And my partner in all things, Tacey. Hello, Tacey. Hello. And we will have Tacey's topic time later. Oh, no, Tacey's time of topics.

I've got to be careful not to. to have a copyright violation from Harrison Young. It's Casey's Time of Topics. That'll be coming up soon. And then back from Somatical, Lydia. Hello, PA, Lydia. Hello. So good to see you.

This is a show for people who never listen to a medical show on the radio or the Internet. If you have a question, you're embarrassed to take to a regular medical provider if you can't find an answer in there in Wells. Give us a call at 3477-66-4-3-23. That's 347. Pooh. Follow us on Twitter at Weird Medicine

Center at D.R. Scott, W.M. Visit our website at Dr. Steve.com for podcast, medical news and stuff. You can buy. Most importantly, we are not your medical providers. Take everything here with a grain of salt. Don't act on anything you hear on this show without talking over with your health care provider. Yeah, very good. So, P.A. Lydia, you're still doing, oh, what was that thing?

You're doing? Argo Project. Yeah, Allied Extract. Yeah. That's very good. So check her out at allied extract. dot org. Yeah.

Very good. Throw them a couple bucks. No matter what side you're on in that conflict, helping out people who need help is always a good thing. Human beings, not. Yes. Not politicians. Check out stuff. Dot, Dr. Steve.com for all of your Amazon needs.

Our website now is in a state of flux, but stuff. Dot, Dr. Steve will still get you there. And check out Dr. Scott's website at simply herbals. That we'll talk about it in a minute. it. And then Tacey, you and I are doing patreon.com slash weird medicine. And we've got some big guests coming up. And apparently, I just heard, I've just read rumblings of this. Apparently, Anthony and Kevin Brennan are on the outs again. And so we're going to have to get Kevin in here to talk about what the hell happened there. Oh, no. So, yeah, we'll get Kevin in and maybe Anthony as well. Although

I'll be seeing Anthony, maybe this weekend. in in Rochester, New York. Check out tickets at WATPLive.com. There's still a few left. No VIP tickets left, but there are some regular tickets left. And then check out cameo.com slash weird medicine. I'll say fluid to your mama or whatever you want me to say to her. I do not care.

Well, there was one where I said, I don't know if I can say this one. But that was one out of the hundreds that I've done. It's dirt cheap. I just do it for fun because it's fun to do. That's it. And all that money goes into my ham radio fund and my buddy Dale and I are going to, we're going to buy a preamp with that money so that we can bounce signals off the moon and talk to other nerds who are doing the same thing. It's kind of cool. Yeah.

So use the moon. Look at that look on Tacey's face. That's really neat. She just looked like she just ate a chunk of liver thinking that it was, yeah, or something. Anyway, don't encourage you, Lydia. You haven't seen anything too. You see a kite flying on the beach with a ham radio antenna. With the ham radio antenna attached.

At the beach. That was fun. Oh, you did that already? Yeah, and then they left and then it started raining. So me and the other wife had to try to put it up. We don't know how to put that shit up. Yeah, why did we leave it there? Yeah, I don't know.

You just left it. You just left it. I think we had to go get something. And then... Because we'd forgotten a piece of coax or something. Massive storm comes. Which happens at the beach out of the blue. Yeah, quickly, huh?

Well, what we were trying to do is, you know, repeat the Ben Franklin experiment. You know, flying the kite. I wonder if he really did that. That has to be apocryphal. I mean, surely he wasn't out there holding the kite. I bet you he had a kite, and then he had a laden jar that had the little two pieces of foil in it. And as lightning hit nearby, he watched the foil move, and that way he proved that lightning is electrical phenomenon. It has to be that.

But this picture of this guy standing out there holding a kite on a string, I think that's not how it really worked. In June of 1752. What was it say? It just says he was said to have flown a kite. There's no way that he just stood out there going, well, I hope it gets hit by lightning. I'm sure he didn't talk like that either. I mean, every source is saying. Well, that he flew a kite.

Yeah. But surely. Franklin's kite was not struck by lightning. Right. That I know. then he would have been, yeah. Electrical fields were moving nearby, and that created the... The kite picked up the ambient electrical charge.

Yeah. It's pretty damn cool, though. He was a smart son of a bitch. Hell yeah. Got to give him credit for that. And apparently he got the most, you know, quality Poon in France that there was available at the time. So got to give him some props on that as well. A liar, actress, go to f*** out.

And don't forget to check out Dr. Scott's website at simplyerbils.net. Simplyherbils.net. And I'm, I will say this, Dr. Scott, and this is not an advertisement because we can't really advertise, but your CBD nasal spray is the bomb. That is the best thing you've ever done. Thank you. It's in the right delivery system. Finally, I know you must have said something to whoever made it.

Mm-hmm. That my old pal, Dr. Steve, wasn't as thrilled with you. old delivery system this one's perfect thank you so i'm just wondering if anybody's uh reached i have you said because you always send some stupid chotchky or something when you send something out to one of our listeners i do always yeah so have you sent out anything lately oh yeah we sent a few actually we sent i think we had three uh weird medicine this week which is good that's good no no that's good i'll take it hey listen three it's a hell more better than zero well true Most of them order more than one thing, too.

Okay. They'll pick up a couple of the sprays or fatigue. Well, anyway, it's not an ad. No, no, no, no, no. But still, I have to say that. But appreciate it. But, yeah, check out Dr. Scott's website. It's simplyerbils.net.

You really, you hit a home run with this one, my friend. I'm just going to tell you that right now. And I get nothing from that. We get nothing from that. And you'll like it. Yeah. That's right. And I'll just keep bending over and taking it up the

rear end, and I'll like it. Thank you, sir. I have another. So, yeah, very good. We should, we have a couple of topics, and then we've got a million questions, so we're going to, this is going to be very question heavy. Let's just jump in.

We'll do it. So, here we go. It's Tacey's Time of Topics. A time for Tacey to discuss topics of the day. Not to be confused with Topic Time with Harrison Young, which is copyrighted by

Harrison Young and Area 58 Public Access. And now here's Tacey. Hello, everyone. Hello, Tacey. I know the show just started, but if you forgot to go pee, now would be a good time.

Oh, really? Why? Yes. Well, because I have three. It was another slow health week, if you will. Well, that's okay. What does that mean? It would be just as funny if I played that and you just said, I don't really have anything. Well, I'm sure that's going to come at some point.

And maybe next week. So the first little story I have is about how an IUD ends up in a woman's bladder. Oh. The symptom was blood in her urine. Okay. She had gotten it a decade earlier and it had eroded through her uterus into the bladder. Holy moly IUDs can last up to 12 years

which I had no idea The perforation Well you forget about it Happens I can tell you some stories But we're going to as a matter of fact Talk later about a story about someone who forgot something Okay

Well the perforation happens And it wasn't anywhere close to 10 years Is this tasty topic time or is this Steve Right well this is Steve's show So Steve comments Steve comments on taste Casey's topics. Perforation happens in one in a thousand women, and they found a bladdered stone, pulverized it,

and removed the device. So that is my first little story. Wow, that was a good one. So if you have not had your IUD checked in a while, you should have it checked. And the thing that is disturbing about that is this patient probably should have been getting pap smears. That's right. I mean, go at least at the interval that they recommend. Some people are every three years now, but still, you know, if that thing was going on for that long,

I'll bet you that she was not having routine medical care. No, I agree. So the second boring story that I have is a man had a four-inch piece of cement in his heart after a spinal procedure. He was 56, chest pain, difficulty breathing. He went to the ER. This was in the New England Journal of Medicine. Okay. The spinal procedure was done to treat a vertebral compression fracture.

It's called kifelplasty. Yes. So this is what happens when if you think of your spinal column as a bunch of blocks of balsa wood. And they're on top of each other with sort of some sort of gel between each one. And so it makes it flexible. And if you have compression in the axial direction, in other words, you know, pushing down on the spine, the spinal column, you can actually crunch one of those vertebrae. Usually it's because you could have a tumor there or you could just have osteoporosis or you could have some terrible trauma. And when it does that, the pieces move around and it causes horrible pain.

And one of the treatments they can do is to actually stick a needle in there. and put epoxy. Yeah, it's like concrete. But it's epoxy resin. And they put it in, and it under pressure, they will, and it has to be under pressure because there's a lot of resistance in there. It will lift back up the, and reform the vertebral body in theory. Yes, yes, not perfectly. And so that's what a kifoplasti is.

And then, you know, after that's done for a lot of people, they have complete resolution of their pain. They get full function again. apparently not in this case. It sounds like somebody might have pushed the needle in a little bit too far. Yeah, it says a rare side effect is that the cement can leap from the bone into other areas causing a blockage or embolism of a blood vessel. Yeah. Oh, I see.

Doctors removed the cement and repaired the tear in his heart. Holy moly. Does it say what part of the heart it was in? Because if it was in the right side of the heart, then that would have been a vein that that they injected cement into a vein and then it traveled into the heart did it say it's okay if you don't know So yeah I do not know because I wrote this down

Oh you did? Yeah so I do know She abstracts the shit It actually does Listen, she's retired Give yourself a bill If it got injected into an artery It would have been traveling away from the heart right?

Correct So it would have to be a vein It's got to be a vein Or they injected it directly into the heart. That was what I was thinking, because if it was T7, T8, your heart straight through. Your heart is right there. They shouldn't make the needle that long. And they have the needle and the guy's going, and it's like, oh, okay, maybe I should back that up a little bit. Maybe about the time the neurosurgeoning was putting in there had a sneeze or,

ha-choo! Yeah. Yeah, and then the scrub tech said, well, that's because you're an idiot. But, you know, that stuff is kind of, like you were saying, no, I know. But don't you, that stuff is kind of hard to control as far as where it goes. Yeah, no. You are doing things without being able to directly visualize it. You know, one of the things that they taught us when I was a medical student, I remember having to do a rigid sigmoidoscopy on a homeless person that had rectal bleeding

and they were unconscious that we couldn't get consent. I mean, it was bad, but it was an. emergency so we had to do and of course in an emergency get the fourth year medical student to do it but um we did a rigid sigmoidoscopy which we don't really do anymore it's a you know it's a metal tube just to look and see if you can see where the bleeding is coming from and they always said don't ever advance this thing except under direct visualization in other words you got to be looking through it and and then advance it because if you just shove it in you could perforate somebody's bow. You can even still do it if you do it under direct visualization, but at least

it reduced. But in a situation like this, there's no direct visualization. Now, you might be able to use, you know, x-rays to watch what you're doing at the time. But even then, you're seeing a 2D projection of a 3D image. So it's very difficult. And did they say what the incidents of this is? By any chance, no. I mean, it probably did. the article. It just says rare, rare side effect. We'll take that as one and a jillion, I hope. It's some procedure I may need someday. So the last little story that I have is that a woman's pet cat gave her cowpox. What? Doctors feared she would lose her vision. She took a bunch of antibiotics, but it didn't work. They were trying to figure out what it was. This was also

in the New England Journal of Medicine. Yeah, good. The patient's pet cat had developed unusual lesions on its paws and head, so I guess they put the two together. The cowpox can affect cows, cats, and humans. It's very rare to get it from a cat. The woman received treatment with tecoviromat. Okay. That doctors got from the U.S. Give yourself a bill.

Damn, come on, man. Suck it. I'm too damn already. Let doctors got from the U.S. Strategic National Stockpile kept in case of a bio terror attack with smallpox. Yeah, and that's something. Jeez, Louise. It cleared her infection.

It is a cousin of smallpox. Wow. That's what sock noticed. Was it sock? Jesus. It was sock, right? He noticed that milk maids were not getting smallpox. They'd be in the same house as everybody else.

So a lot of people, they all live together in these houses, and you would have your, you know, servants or whatever living in there and uh the smallpox had sweep through the house but the the women who were working with the cows weren't getting it well and then he put two and two together they had gotten cowpox so one of the things he did was started inoculating people with cowpox just to see if it would protect them and in fact it did it was the first fact that you first vaccine and uh because cowpox doesn't kill you like smallpox does but it is closely related to it. Isn't that crazy?

That is crazy. So anyway, it didn't say. I didn't know you could still get it. This woman been vaccinated for smallpox? It didn't say that and it did not say how the cat got it. Okay. She hadn't been. She was 28.

They don't vaccinate for smallpox anymore. Well. Because it's gone. How in the world did that cat get it? Well, apparently it's not that uncommon in cats. It's uncommon for humans to get it. Wow. Yeah.

Samples from the cats. cats, lesions, and the woman I both tested positive for orthopox virus. Isn't that something? I thought it was cool that they got it from the Strategic National Stockville. Hell yeah. That's pretty cool. I don't know we have one. Monkeypox is also related to orthopox viruses too.

Yeah, well, we have to because, you know, the thing is when we, when we eradicated, and when I say we, the human species, eradicated smallpox, they, kept some of it in vials in different places around the world now you would say why would you do that well you kind of hate to render something extinct and then for it just it kind of goes against some scientific thinking that you just destroy it so we never have access to it again now I think at this point now that we can sequence DNA you just sequence its DNA you keep that in a database somewhere and just kill the fucking viruses that we have in these stock clouds. And you can always make it again.

You can just make it if you need it for research purposes or whatever. Yeah. But, you know, the last thing we need, now that we don't vaccinate for smallpox anymore, is someone just releasing smallpox back in. We have to do this all over again, you know? So it's fucking viruses. So that's it with Tacey's tough. That was awesome.

I'm going to give yourself a bill. That's two, Scott. Why don't you just... That was three. It's Tacey's time of topics. A time for Tacey to discuss. Topics. I'm getting crushed here.

All right. Now, do we have Lydia's time of topics? Hang on. It's Tacey's time of topics. Let me try that again. Wait a minute. It's Lydia's. Time of topics.

Anyway, what do you got? Oh, so in sticking with our I, D theme. We also have another woman's topic. Excellent. For the ladies in the room. All four of them that listen. For all four ladies who listen, and it's certainly something that I have learned today. I was

today years old. Right? I don't ever say this word really, except for talking with my two-year-old, but period poops. Do you say period poops to your two-year-old? I say poops. Oh, okay, the poop part. Not period. Now, mommy's having a period poop.

So, Tacey, if you think back, so there's a tendency for women to have more bowel movements, more frequent bowel movements, or even report diarrhea whilst menstruating. That is true. It is true, right? Yes. It is true. Did you just tell Tacey, did you say, if you remember back, how do you know she doesn't have periods anymore? Are you accusing her being post-meniposal? No.

I just admit, like, through your history of having. Your last. Listen, I'm taking this wonderful birth control, and I do not have them, and thank God, praise God. I've tried that. It does not work for me. Really? Yeah. This is one for old people.

Oh. It's one be for you. Maybe in five years. Yeah, so there's science behind it, that reason. Okay. Okay. So two chemicals. One of them is a hormone that we all know called progesterone, which helps to maintain a healthy pregnancy.

It's delightful. It also is slightly constipating. And so when you're on active menstruation, the level of progesterone decreases. So therefore, you kind of stop that constipating approach. And the second is more active, and that's the release of prostaglandins from the uterus. So prostaglandins are fatty acids that from the uterine perspective, help us. to contract our uterus during delivery. Sexy stuff.

They can give you, you know, IV prostaglandins. You know, it also causes, you know, the period cramps, the shedding of the uterus. But it can also, prostate glandans also have a role in bowel contractility and bowel contraction. Can you please stop bullshitting? Is it? He sounds like bullshit? Can you please stop bullshitting and... He's playing with buttons.

I'm just pushing that. Anyway, so... You increase your contractions via the prostaglandins. Yes. Of your colon. So... Okay. That's awesome.

Period of poops, guys. I'm going to... That's a good one. Give yourself a bill! Just give yourself one. Please go ahead. No. Well, as I was going to say, so that way, constipation.

is more common prior to, right? That's true. You get the progesterine search? Yeah, I would think so, yeah, yeah. Because that's certainly something we see a lot. Yeah, so that's one of the signals is when you have a, when you have a pregnancy brewing in your uterus is one of the signals that the placenta, the nascent placenta will put out is a progesterone analog. And that, so one of the ways that the body knows there's no pregnancy in there is when the progesterone level falls. So, and then it's like, oh, I guess we've got to slough this lining off and try all over again.

Try again next month. Isn't that wild? Yeah. Yeah. So anyway. Interesting. Speaking of women who listen, there are two women who listen. They are Jen and Carol from the podcast, Mom Swipes Left.

and they have submitted some questions to us. Okay. And what I hope they will do in the future is because we have, when you guys do women's health stuff, the guys are actually, you know, may be interested in it, but we do get a lot of e-mail saying, thank God you guys finally did something for us. And when we first started, the show was primarily just dudes

because Opian Anthony's audience was mostly dudes. Penises. Yeah, penises, nuts, you know, dick cheese, stuff between your toes. Women don't ever have stuff between their toes. Dick cheese. Because they clean themselves off. I mean, they're hygienic. But anyway, apparently we do have more women listening now.

So these are questions from Jen and Carol. And I'd like to, maybe we'll do a little bit with them where they record a question and ask. But anyway, the first question is. do all animals masturbate? So not really a women's health question, but that's okay. It's, you know, they're cool women, so they're asking a cool question. And I had to go to my AI model. So, you know, I'm working with an AI model.

And it's called GPT3, not to be confused with chat GPT. And this is one that I've tweaked a little bit to answer medical questions and to help in my job. And so I asked it. Serious question, because if you don't preface it with that, it will say, this is inappropriate. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I said, what animals other than humans are known to masturbate? It said, studies have shown that a variety of animals, including primates, dolphins, and

elephants are known to engage in self-stimulation or masturbation. Then I said, can you elaborate? This is for my radio show, just because I'm big-timing the AI, right? And says, yes, sure, primates, such as chimpanzees, bonobos, and gorillas have been observed touching their own genitals for pleasure. Dolphins have been observed using their fins to rub against their own bodies and the bodies of other dolphins. Elephants have been seen using their trunks to rub their genitals. What? Can you imagine being able to beat yourself off with your nose?

How awesome would that be? Why aren't they doing that all the time? What's wrong with that? Additionally, cats, dogs, it's probably sand, because they've got sand all over where. Additionally, cats, dogs, and other mammals have been observed engaging in self-stimulation. So that was a good answer from GPD3. And I used to have a dog that if I threw my coat on the floor, he would just start humping it. Oh, goodness.

Cosmo would do that with his little kiddie cat stuffed kitty cat. Do you remember that? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He would just bone it all day and all night. For some reason, this brings up the time that we were at Bush Gardens and Tampa. Don't bring up that time when I did that, what you're going to talk about. In Tampa, and we watched the monkeys eat their poop for an hour, and the boys thought that was just, I mean. So there was a group of chimpanzees, and they were just standing around, and this one puts his hands.

hand behind his ass and shits in his hand right and he's looking at it and the other ones are poking at it and like what do you got there what do you got what do you got and he's like look what i did and they're poking at it and then didn't one of them like stick their finger in their mouth after they yeah they were eating it and the boys they were like how old they made appetizers have something they were teeny we still they still remember that it's burnt in their brain traumatic Yeah. Dramatic in a good way. Oh, my goodness.

That is pretty good. Well, I did. Well, what else do they got to do? Yeah. There's nothing else to do there, you know? Well, I don't have a lot to do, but that's not something that I... I'd find a tree to swing from or something, yeah. Yeah, but you've swung on all the trees, you've known that, you've been there.

You're in a zoo. Take a nap, baby. You finally have something that you've never seen before in that place is this fresh turd. I remember when I was Before I was potty trained I remember this like it was yesterday And I was still in my crib And we were still living in a house

That I know we had to I was really little So I didn't like do this when I was six If I was 15 months maybe And I remember kind of Pulling myself up in my crib And shitting in my crib And I thought it was very creative.

It was like, wow, look at that. And I know that I didn't have words then, but I remember thinking that lady that takes care of me, you know, mom, is going to be really happy with me. And I was very surprised when she came in and she was like, what the hell is this? And, you know, it said bad baby or whatever it was that she said to me. I was very disappointed. That's my earliest memory. And it couldn't have been 15 months. maybe 15, 16 months of age.

Anyway, starting to see them trees taste. That did remind me not to go off on too much of a tangent, but there's the coffee that's produced from poop of animals. Yeah, okay, tell me about that. I've heard about this. Yeah, the coffee is called Civet coffee or Kopi-Lu-A-K. Copi-L-U-A-K. Don't you dare look that up and order that for me.

Don't you dare do it. Don't you dare do it. Because I order her coffee, and if it comes in a little curate, rigged things, I'm worried. Yeah. Don't you dare. How'd you like that coffee taste? Partially digested coffee cherries, which have been eaten and

defecated or pooped by the Asian palm civet, which is a little animal. A little rodent-like animal. Looks like a rat, actually. What's the name of it again? Copi Luwak. I drink. Or civet coffee.

I drink kombucha. I mean, it's like I can't really say anything about that. Anyway, just reminded me of that. Yeah. Maybe they're doing something. more exotic there, those apes. I like that. Maybe they're eating something and pooping it out.

Better not. To start breaking down the protective shell or something. Maybe. All right. Speaking of the AI, I was going to show you one other thing if I can find it. Oh, damn it. What did I do with it? Well, never mind.

I got the AI to do some roast jokes for Carl. We'll do it next time. I did post it on our subreddit, and I just wanted to see if it could be funny. Oh, here we go. So you have to train the AI first, right? So I said, can you write roast jokes? And it said, sure. What did the coffee say to the tea?

Oh, no. You look a little steep. And it's like, no, no. I said, no, no, not roast coffee. Roast jokes are written for comedy. Roast where friends get up and make fun of each other. For example, then I gave it a. an example. One from the creep off roast. I said, Vinny's so lazy. When he got COVID-19, his

nose didn't run either. So I told it, I told it that one. I said, can you write me a few jokes like that, edgy, even mean? And then you have to say, it's all part of the fun, or it'll say, I can't do things that are going to harm people. So it came up with, for Carl, I said, can you write jokes about our friend Carl Hamburger, who has come, you know, he's known to have crooked teeth, although I think he's very pleasant looking myself, but it says, Carl's teeth look like a zipper, they never quite seem to close all the way. That's not bad for an AI. What isn't bad? And then I said, could you get a little bit edgier? And I gave it an example. And I said, you always know when it's bedtime when Carl puts toothpaste on a jigsaw. And I said,

something in that vein. And it came up with, if Carl had a dollar for every crooked tooth, he could buy a straight one. I thought that one wasn't that. That's pretty good. I'll have to give it that. So jokes by AI. Laughing at a robot. All right. I know.

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Let's quit messing. Hello, Dr. Steve. Hello. How are you? Oh, good, very good. thank you good good to hear hello dr scott how are you good as well good good to hear dr steve i have a question for you oh he didn't say ask you to if you're okay no taste no who whispered cardiff electric because i want to know who did that very good very good give yourself a bill that's exactly who that is sick hey you roll your eyes buddy but this is a great

question though and this is from like as you may know this is like back from back in April so I occasionally dabble

in the use of edible cannabis product I did not know that also as you may know I have a very luscious

masculine beard okay occasionally while grooming I will shave my beard At this time Sometimes I can get The faint smell

Of marijuana From the beard How'd that happen As I said I only consume Inedible forms Like gummies or chocolate Can you please stop bullshitting

That's more appropriate So why does my beard smell like marijuana Okay okay Okay, Jesus did. So I looked this up. It made sense to me. Marijuana is fat-soluble, and so it is stored in fat cells, and their skin has lots of fat cells in it, and also secretes oil.

And I looked up, a 2017 article showed that cannabis can indeed, if it's taken orally, being a secreted in oil and sebum glands of the skin and you know if you've got a big oh yeah

are you gonna smell Scott's hair smell Scott's hair see if you can smell any marijuana on them because he only uses edible but if you have a big old beard if you have a big long beard

it's got much longer or you know time to have more cannabis like molecules secreted onto those hairs as they grow and it's right under

your nose and when you cut it you may actually get a whiff of pot because the nose is extremely sensitive and that is a very distinctive smell. I mean when you smell it you know what you're smelling. Even the first time you smell it

you're like that's what marijuana smells like. Yeah. all right so is that why they'll do because you know there's an alternative to the drug testing a follicle testing yeah of yeah we've pulled that we did this on a guy he would always say well let me let me say I heard about this this guy that would always say well I can't pee and so they'd say well okay well we'll schedule you'd come in for a follicle test and we'll get a hair follicle and so the next time he came in he'd shake taped his head, right? And he was like, ha, ha, ha. And then the investigator just reached over and plucked a hair out of his arm and went, okay, no problem, and stuck it in there. So, ah. All right.

Anyway, so yes, that is a distinct possibility. Thank you, Mr. Cardiff, for your phone call. Let's see here. Hey, Dr. Steve. This is John from Chicago. Hey, John. Question about tinnitus, or tinnitus, whatever. I think I get tinnitus every now and then that's just really the kind of the random ringing in the ears, right?

But it can be bad for worse for some and others, right? It seems to come on and off every now and then. It's random. It's just something, I'll move my head and then just I have that long piercing ringing in the ears. That's tinnitus, right? So I guess if you can answer that question, I'd appreciate that. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Speaking of tinnitus, what, is there, is there,

a worrisome aspect of the ringing or is it is it just an annoyance to the person who's experiencing like is it a sign of degrading you know ear functionality or something like that

I know you're I think a fan of that Children of the Men movie and there's that scene where Julian Moore says every time that ringing happens there's like one you know type of tone or decibel that you'll no longer hear and I was like is that no that's not true that sounded like bullshit but i don't know does it mean anything when that ring

happened is it is it kind of like hey you're you know you'll never hear that specific tone again anyway right appreciate it love the show yeah that's not true and uh they you know if you remember that character said a lot of stupid shit in that movie so but it's um uh a great movie by the way children of men highly recommend it uh benign paroxysmal vertigo can cause tinnitus, but he didn't say it gets dizzy. But there are people who have possessional tinnitus, or tinnitus.

I always, we were always taught it as tinnitus. And if there was an eye at the end, it would be tinnitus, except that we also have pruritis is spelled with the U.S. So there's no rhyme or reason to it. So it's fine

either way. But tinnitus is just a ringing or sound it could be static it could be even music because sometimes the brain will interpret the static or random sounds as music and people say i'm hearing old swing music or something because that's in their head and it never stops it can drive you bonkers so you want to see an ear nose and throat provider for that and the reason i say that is this could be just crystals in your inner ear that are moving around when you move your head causing some ringing in your ears but there also is a condition where you get a thing called dehiscence of one of the semi-circular canals,

and it can cause a positional tenetis as well. And what that means is it's just breaking apart. And you would need to go to like a microsurgery center to get that fixed. Not saying that's what is. That would be unbelievably rare. But I'm just saying this isn't something. Don't just blow it off and go, well, you know, weird medicine said it's probably just, you know, I just want you to get it checked.

So go see in your nose and throat. Show them the position that you have to assume to create the tenetist. They'll do a hearing test. They'll try to reproduce it in there. They may do some imaging just to make sure that you're okay. And if it's just sludge in your inner ear that's causing it, then okay. Then they'll give you some exercises, one called the Epley maneuver just to get that sludge in a place where it doesn't cause problems. Did he say what position he was in?

I don't think he did that. That's kind of interesting, though, is it? Yeah, it is interesting. So you also think about, like, a loud noise exposure, right? Like, veterans who have been exposed to loud noises. But it's there all the time. Yes, it'd be there all the time. Well, it wouldn't be possessional, because I was going to say, and that's why I was asking, you know, a lot of times, well, a lot of people will have the tinnitus with, you know, position minutes, you know, it's a bedtime because there's no sound.

It seems relatively louder. It seems like it's when they're lying down, but it's actually. Yeah. So you've got to ask those context questions, too. Yeah, and plus it could have been medication and caused. It could be medications, antibiotics, could be loud noises. Now, when you just use some jar, you, when certain chemotherapy agents, which is. Yeah, okay.

Damaged nerves. Yep. All righty, very good question. Good one. Hey, Dr. Steve. I was wondering. I know I had heard a episode earlier that you said that you answered this on your first show, which I can't find anywhere. That's okay.

Join the Patreon. What makes it so that when you ejaculate, the ejaculation comes out very slow and dark colored, and almost like it doesn't want to come out. Yeah. That's a great question. very common if you could answer for that for me I'd be appreciated absolutely man and yes that is a question

that's come up very often I think it was on our very first serious XM show that this came up and a lot of times when you have yellowish thick semen that has like chunks of like

it looks like tapioca pearls in it what that is is semenagel and there's a protein in semen that causes semen to gel. But you don't want it to gel in the seminal vesicles. You want it to gel afterward. So it's like what's supposed to happen is it's almost like one of those epoxy cement where you mix two things together and then you let it sit.

And then it turns into epoxy, right? Or that's what we know. And so there are components of this protein that aren't supposed to act. it until it actually hits the air. And so when you, and the purpose of it is when you ejaculate, we, we often forget that the reason, yeah, we forget the point of, thank you, go fuck yourself, but we forget the point of intercourse. Whose point? Is to impregnate for the man to actually impregnate a human female. That was what it was designed for, right?

And we forget that. We just, you know, have intercourse with, you know, whatever orifice and whoever, but we've, we kind of, it, it, it, it, that, that aspect of it, it, it, it, that, that aspect of it, slips our mind a lot. And so the reason for semen to gel is because when you ejaculate into a vagina, you don't want the woman to stand up and run away like they probably did in the caveman days, you know, because there's a saber tooth type. tiger coming or god knows what kind of consent they had back then but you don't want the semen to just flow back out of the vagina you want it to gel and stay there so that the sperm cells that are inside it can work their way up and try to find an egg in the right place right and so that's what that protein seminagellin is for and but if you leave this fluid inside the seminal vesicles long enough it will gel there and

And then when you ejaculate, you'll ejaculate sort of this jelly-like semen that's, you know, nobody's looking at it, really. So unless you're... Are they? You wouldn't want to have it chunky, right? The partner. You don't like chunk style? I think I'm not appreciated. She's a smooth and creamy kind of gal, not a chunky kind of gal.

So, okay, so you would see it when, I guess, when you're giving someone oral treats, I guess, in your not swallowing right i mean that's when else would you see or you would like sense it if you were yeah swallowing it i guess yeah i don't know of how tactile it is i mean it looks i mean it's thicker yeah that's true it wouldn't be like then is the treatment for that or to overcome that ejaculate more yes yes yes yes how about dehydration cha cha cha yes yes that too there you give yourself a bill so fluids you're the only one that's counting dude oh good for you that's okay though For you, buddy. Fluids.

That doesn't seem very sincere. And frequent ejaculation. Okay. All right. Which is why mine is like concrete, but that's a whole other story. Shut up. Hey, Dr. Steve, Dr. Scott, Casey. Hello.

How are you? Good. How are you? Good. Good. Doing well, too. Calling with an update from a call I made a few weeks ago about my fitness tracker

when I was sleeping, registering this huge spike in heart rate within the first hour to up sleep. So first of all, I want to give you a bell, if I'm as the non-host, I'm authorized to do that. I don't authorize it. I don't authorize.

I didn't like that question. I didn't like that question. I don't know. I'm going to give you a bell. If I'm as the non-host, I'm authorized to do that. You certainly are. cold water on my hypothesis that this could be the hypnotic church. I think you kind of came up with a theory that it might be something called nocturnal arrhythmia.

So before following up with my primary care, I did some more research online, and it turns out that this particular model of fitness tracker, won't say the name, but it rhymes with Shet, it's a common known bug that other people were reporting that, like, right around 1 a.m. in the morning, which was a glitch in the operating system. Did he say shit? He did. It's a glitch in the operating system.

Can you imagine how many other people were crapping themselves, seeing them? Yeah. And how many cardiac workups were performed? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, my goodness. That is one of those things where in medicine, like if someone faints and they go to the emergency room, they may end up getting a tilt table test, an MRI.

They get all this stuff. It's like, no, you just faint. It's this sort of cascade. So B.A. Liddy is exactly right. I would love to know how many people went to a cardiologist over this. That's a bunch. Because we were pretty convinced he had nocturnal arrhythmia. That spike was crazy.

It's like 90, 90, 90, 90, 90, 150, and then right back down to 90 again, it lasted, you know, 5, 10 minutes, something like that. Okay. Wow. Let's see what I said. Shet's a common known bug that other people were reporting that, like, right around 1 a.m. in the morning, which is when the time that I was experiencing this, it would, you know, measure this huge spike in heart rate that no one else could explain. And other people suggested that it was doing this even when you weren't wearing the shit flit, the finish truck. So I took it off, looking on the night before night.

We're not mentioning any brands or anything. So, you know, I'm glad he's masking it. is so perfect. Very smart of him. You know, 165, 170 heart rate without even being on my wrist. So unless there's, you know, a ghost living with me that's putting it on at night, I think it's, it was bullshit. So that's my update, but it kind of has me thinking of like, what's the benefit of

me doing there? I must check my heart rate with this shit freak device. this thing if it's not producing reliable or accurate data and I love it for measuring my steps and the distance that I go but beyond that is it you know is it worth if it's putting out this stuff that is inaccurate is it worth wearing I mean that yes that's software easy to fix I think these things actually are I like the fact that people are paying attention to their sleep cycles and it's good for me because I It tells me you're not getting enough sleep, but I always ignore it.

But, you know, if I ever did start to pay attention to it and do something about it, it would be very useful. And, yeah, I think it's okay. You know, the algorithms they use for things like blood oxygen are not to be relied on, but they'll get you in the ballpark. And they will tell you this is not a medical device, but it can. give you a signal that says maybe you should do further testing or whatever, you know. So I still think they're worth having. Police score gives me things kind of arbitrary. And also, you know, if you've ever been on these things when you start doing exercise,

you get these little badges and some people like, oh, I'm only 100 points away from my explorer badge. It's like, what does that do for you? Nothing, but you have it. And humans kind of like that sort of thing. You know, Google sucks me in every time, well, you're only 100 points away from your next level as a local guide, you know, and I start looking for pictures. I take a picture at Perkins, you know, can I get that up there and get extra other points? You're only 9,600 steps away from reaching 10,000 steps today. You can still do it.

It's only 7 p.m. you can do it. Right, right, right. That's hilarious. Now I'm kind of rambling, but I guess my new question is, you know, other than motivating people to get more active, move, if it's tracking their steps, do you guys see that this is a net positive or is it just more data that's possibly unreliable that is interesting, but people don't really know what to do with? Yeah, I wonder what they're doing with the aggregate data with this, you know, is there research that can be gleaned from that with just, you know, Is there the average heart rate of the normal American going up or down over time? Yeah, tibity level. Yeah, yeah.

I was just reading about Healthy China 2030. I did a paper on cardiovascular disease in China. Oh, yeah. And for the prior, like, I can't remember if I was like the prior 19 years. Anyway, the past couple of decades, the rate of cardiovascular disease is just like really going up exponentially as their economy improves and how it. You think it's diet or lack of exercise? They've both, largely diet-driven, so uncontrolled hypertension, elevated cholesterol with the diet changes. So they have this new Healthy China 2030 initiative.

But it makes me think about that, right? Like you would certainly a country like China would be able to track. Yes. And the other thing is that one thing that they can do is, you know, they've got that social score, that if you have a social score, like you've said something naughty on. on, you know, the internet, you know, you may get dings to your social score, and then you don't get preferred seats on train things. You can get banned from this and that. This is what I hear. You know, I read this in the newspaper.

Who knows? It's hard to, I don't know anybody from there. But I wonder if, you know, maintaining your ideal body weight and those kinds of things could become a governmental mandate. Well, they're starting to, like, a huge national push on it. So, you know, it's a different way of doing things, isn't it? But it's pretty damn effective. All right, here we go. Hi, Dr. Steve.

It's Pepperman Patty. Hey, Patty. Hey, Patty. Pardon my voice. I've got a cold. Hi, Dr. Scott. I, Casey. Hey, honey.

I have a question on a Patreon show. You would say to a doctor, you can say to a doctor if you have some. objects stuck in your rectum that you sat on it. Right. So, yes, so at patreon.com slash weird medicine, we had a show where we talked about the fiction that we all have agreed between, it's a contract between our patients and the physicians and other providers that treat them, that if you come in to the emergency room with something stuck up your rear end, just, yeah, it's crazy, I just sat on it.

And everybody will believe it. Okay. Well, they won't, nobody will believe it. They will pretend to believe it. They will pretend to believe it so you can save face. She made me wonder, well, then how do they get them out? Ah. Because what I thought of is, like, a lot of loom in a chest opener.

I'm sure. That is not how it's done. It's not that wrong. And I've seen some that had to go to the operating room because it was too painful to remove, so you have to put somebody under general anesthesia. And if you remember. years and years ago, Scott, I think you might have been here where we played a video of physicians acting badly and what it was was they were taking a peanut butter jar out of somebody's

he was with their rectum or their vagina. I can't remember what it was. And they were all laughing and hooting and hollering and somebody videotaped it. And then, you know, it ended up on the internet and it's like, this is not cool. So we're supposed to have this compact. Now that was not in the United States. In the United States, we're very respectful about these things. But one of the things that you have to do is, first you just see if you can grab it with tongs and pull it out. And if you can't, it's too painful. You put the patient under and then you get a speculum and basically like a vaginal speck. And we've ever seen a pap smear done? You put it in. It's got two sort of duck bills and you can open it up so that you can dilate that opening and you can

visualize this thing. And then, yes, you may have to. to put a lot of lube in there and then coax it out with various different instruments. And if it's something like a light bulb, you absolutely don't want to break it. So you have to be really careful. But there are, have you ever seen one of those things that you put screw light bulbs in with? It's got little sort of hands fingers. A little grippers. There are, there are things like that.

And so that you can go and just grab that very carefully and just coax it back out again. But don't do that. But if you're going to stick something, I'm just going to say this. I'm not some namby-pambi, just say no type person. I have to say that frequently. But if you're going to put stuff up your rear end, put something that's designed to put up your rear end. Plenty of stuff. Don't improvise.

Yeah. Just go to the store. Yeah, go to a fun store and get some lube and do this with a consenting partner. And that way, if something happens, you've got somebody there to help you. but most of the rectal toys will have a lip or like a rocket fin sort of looking shape on it so that it can only go in so far and you can't lose your grip on it and lose it because you know if you've ever put a suppository up your rear end it's designed yes it's designed with the pointy end and it's got a blunt end and you stick it in there

and it just right up there because there are muscles the anal sphincter will tighten and then it will actually push that thing up farther into the rectum that's what people don't understand that is a new uh-oh feeling i would imagine yes so don't do that go listen to uh the um episode of the creepoff podcast at creepoff pod dot com that's called concrete enema where i talk about a guy that uh and we've talked about a little bit on this show that gave himself an enema with uh concrete which you should not do do not do that it is an excellent thermic reaction it cooked him from the inside and it was a disaster that deal we talked about it at length on that show so anyway so dr scott lydia and tacy before we go um i do want to talk about something

we talked about i think last time which was giant chicken breast yes we were talking about that giant chicken breast we saw on sam the cooking guy that literally looked like it came from a 20 pound turkey great cooking show by the way yeah sam the cooking guy is the best cooking show on YouTube, I think. And he says the F word and stuff. He's hilarious. So we were talking about, we thought maybe it was hormones that caused this.

It's actually not true. It says a 2015 survey by National Chicken Council revealed 77% of U.S. customers believe farms use steroids. And factory farm chickens grow faster and bigger than they did just 50 years ago.

What consumers may not know is the poultry industry motivated by product almost exclusively raises chickens who grow so large they can't even walk oh wow so uh these broilers those are chickens raised for meat is one of constant agony i remember we talked last time that's terrible you just you wake up and you're coming you're pecking out of you got your egg and oh i'm going out into the world i'm pecking my way out and it's like what the fuck is this place i'm i'm in hell i'm in hell and it's just chicken hell you know anyway but so So I do buy, I buy a cage free, free, no, that's, that's the thing, that's the one time maybe

that I would prefer smaller breasts. I've got to, go ahead. Oh, everybody does believe it's antibiotics, right? Antibiotics and, but actually, and steroids. Steroids, hormones were banned in like 1950, and it's really just Mendelian genetics. Breeding. It's breeding. It's just, you take the two, you got a bunch of chickens, hey, this one's,

got bigger tits than the other one does. Let's breed them all together. And you keep breeding them and breeding them and breeding them until they have so much meat on them that they can't walk. They're just miserable. I did know that because I went to the University of Georgia and we have a great poultry science program. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Really?

I've got a friend that's like a chicken farmer guy. Okay. Did you take the class or did you just hang out with your friend? No, I was in that college, so the environmental science college. So my buddy was a poultry science major. Wow. So he would have to go out to all the chicken coops and feed him and wash them. Now, I've been to some that were definitely not humane.

I mean, it was just chickens wall to wall as far as you could see. And they're all pecking each other. And you walk in there and they're pecking you and they smell the ammonia. It's just unbelievable. And you just got to imagine there's fungling, you know, just fungus and stuff just all over everywhere in their. but in their whatever it is it's not really feces

it's you know they have cloacas so it's urine and feces together but you know it's just horrible but then I know there are some places I've never seen one where they say you know they're free range chickens they're cage free they run around I don't know how you run a

chicken farm that way you know and cage free can just mean they're not in individual cages so they're still in those big buildings wall to wall with their cage free I see so but free range means outside they're outside running around acting the fool to my understanding okay I don't know how can you have a place big enough to do that and make as many chickens as we eat in this country what you know lots of 500 million wire 500 million chickens

die running very far up the rest of large die to supply our super bowl requirement for chicken wings. It's like a billion wings, just on Super Bowl. These chickens run around without any arms. Psychology to that person that I think about often, because I said, well, isn't it just so sad? Like, you go in there and, you know, and he said, they're not animals. They're food.

They're just things. They're things we eat. We breed them. They grow to maturity in X number of weeks. Right. They're not. And I think that was his, like, coping mechanism because he's really sweet person. but yeah yeah you have to stuck with me well and that's yeah if you start thinking about it in

terms of chicken holocaust then it is it's nightmarish but um when you think about it as we have we eat meat we have to eat and um we have to uh i mean i know people that think that they hear carrots screaming when you pull them out of the ground you know i don't know what they eat. And Scott. Mm-hmm. Probably me. Me screaming.

He doesn't eat carrots. I love carrots. So, you know, I don't know. I mean, that does, if the carrots are screaming when you pull them out of the ground, then it does raise ethical concerns about eating carrots. So you can just take this thing to all kinds of extremes. And so I get, I understand the PETA thing, but I'm still. eating chicken and I'm still eating whatever and liking it maybe we should pay the extra bucks for

the well I do with the eggs I do do that I don't I feel like I'm doing something I don't know what I'm doing I don't know if it's it's something to make me feel better and you know what you think about farmed we worry about overfishing the oceans but then they say well farmed fish is bad And it's like, well, then what the hell? Can't eat fish either. It kind of tastes better to me. Farmed salmon. Really?

Yeah, I like farmed salmon. Do you? Okay. Well? Or maybe I just haven't. I like the least healthy salmon. If you eat salmon every day, then you've got to get your mercury levels checked. You know, it's just like you can't win.

So just eat whatever and do the, you know, be a nice person in your real life. And, you know, I don't know. Check your stupid nuts. Check your stupid nuts for love. Bumps, quit smoking, get off your asses and get some exercise. We'll see you in one week for the next edition of Weird Medicine. Thanks, everybody. That's like me yelling, move to adjourn at the beginning of a meeting at work.

All right, very good, thanks. Good stuff. Thank you. Thank you.