Weird Medicine: The Podcast - 543 - Giveth Thyself a Bell

Episode Date: March 5, 2023

Dr Steve Dr Scott and Tacie discuss: CBD nasal spray No more crappy "bell" drop A.I. came to the rescue of that tired-ass drop Natural immunity Zoonotic diseases ED talk Restless Leg syndrome after weight loss Scrotum skin tag Pelvic pain after radical prostatectomy Please visit: stuff.doctorsteve.com (for all your online shopping needs!) ed.doctorsteve.com (for your discount on the Phoenix device for erectile dysfunction) simplyherbals.net  (Dr Scott's website) simplyherbals.net/cbd-sinus-rinse (the best he's ever made. Seriously.) roadie.doctorsteve.com (the greatest gift for a guitarist or bassist! The robotic tuner!) Also don't forget: Cameo.com/weirdmedicine (Book your old pal right now while he’s still cheap! "FLUID!" Most importantly! CHECK US OUT ON PATREON!  ALL NEW CONTENT! Robert Kelly, Mark Normand, the O&A Troika, Joe DeRosa, Pete Davidson, Geno Bisconte. Stuff you will never hear on the main show ;-) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why do cats make terrible DJs? Because they keep hitting, pause. I was going to tell you a dirty joke, but I don't want you to soil yourself. What's a cat's favorite summertime treat? A mice cream comb. If you just read the bio for Dr. Steve, host of weird medicine on Sirius XM103, and made popular by two really comedy shows,

Opie and Anthony and Ron and Fez, you would have thought that this guy was a bit of, you know, a clown. Why can't you give me the respect that I'm entitled to? I've got diphtheria, crushing my esophagus. I've got Zabalovibati, stripping from my nose. I've got the leprosy of the heartbound exacerbating my incredible woes I want to take my brain out

and blast with the wave an ultrasonic, ecographic and a pulsating shave I want a magic pill all my ailments The health equivalent to citizen cane And if I don't get it now in the tablet I think I'm doomed Then I'll have to go insane

I want to requiem for my disease So I'm paging Dr. Steve Dr. Steve From the world famous Cardiff Electric Network Studios, home to KornDef, the show, and also home to Stucjo Depot. It's weird medicine, the first and still only uncensored medical show in the history of broadcast radio. Now a podcast. I'm Dr. Steve with my little pal, Dr. Scott, the traditional Chinese medicine provider,

gives me street grad with the wack alternative medicine assholes. Hello, Dr. Scott. Hey, Dr. Steve. And my partner in all things, Tacey. Hello, Tacey. Hello. How are you? Good.

This is a show for people who have never listened to a medical show on the radio or the internet. If you have a question, you're embarrassed to take to your regular medical provider. If you can't find an answer anywhere else, give us a call at 347-766-4-3-23. That's 347. Pooh-Head. Follow us on Twitter at Weird Medicine or at D.R. Scott W.M. Visit our website at Dr.steve.com for podcast, medical news and stuff you can buy. Most importantly, we are not your medical providers.

Take everything you hear with a grain of salt. Don't act on anything you hear on this show. without talking it over with your health care provider. Very good. Don't forget stuff.doctrsteve.com. Stuff. Dottersteeve.com for all of your Amazon needs. And Dr. Scott's website at Simplyerbils.net,

which we'll be talking about in a minute. And Tasey and I do Patreon. Patreon.com slash weird medicine. We need to do one tomorrow. We got a bunch of phone calls. Gotcha. And so we'll get that up. Patreon.com slash weird medicine.

And if you want me to say, you know, fluid to your... Mama. Just go to Cameo.com slash Weird Medicine. I think it's $9. I did one the other day and for somebody that forgot their wife's birthday or something and then halfway through I started

looking at myself and I'm like, oh my God you know, I need Botox. I've got a, I don't have a forehead, I've got a six head. And then I thought it looked like I had something stuck in my teeth and I'm like dude, I got to go. They loved it. Five star reviews. So what are you going to

too. I guess self-deprecating humor is always the way to go. But anyway, all right. You got anything getting going here, Dr. Scott? No, I think we're good to go. All right. All right, very good. Don't forget to check out Dr. Scott's website at simplyerbils.net. That's simplyerbils.net. And we're going to be doing some special things with simplyerbils.net in the future. But for right now, just go check it out. I'm telling you, the CBD nasal spray, I swear I think I'm sleeping better because of that stuff. I just do it at bedtime. It's got a nice sort of herbal sort of smell to it.

Now, let me ask you something. Have you tested it for THC content? And I have a reason for asking you this. Yes, yeah. We actually have the documentation. And what is your THC content? Is it? Did they just say it's less than 0.03?

Yeah. Yeah. So it has to be less than 0.3%. Yeah. And so they didn't say what the number was. They just said it was definitely less than that, right? Okay. Because the reason I asked is we had somebody email me saying, if I get this stuff from Dr. Scott, and I spray it up my nose and I get fired because I've got THC in my urine screen,

I'm going to be mad. That would be too. So one thing I thought would be fun to do is I'm a chronic user. of your nasal spray Why don't I go get a urine drug screen And we'll just buy God see Because you have a job that you could get in trouble with No, no, no, I wouldn't get in trouble if my doctor did it

Ordered it So, or if one of my partners ordered it You know, and we'll just label it as a, you know, experiment Number of things, whatever Because we can't live on my salary, that's all I got to say Do you trust Scott or do you not? I do. I do.

I do, too. I do. All right, so I think that's something. That's a good question of it. Yeah, let's do it. Just to show them. We can say, yeah. We'll show you.

Yeah, well, by God, we'll show you. My God, we'll show you. Okay. So, you know, you guys have been competing for what you call bills all this time. Right on. It's where you're the better than a bail anyway. And well, I'm, so I'm, we're not using that drop anymore. I'm sick of it.

And we're never going to. But I wanted to do something for you guys. because I know you enjoy competing for what you call bills, but, you know, they're bells. So what I did was I asked my AI assistant. I am an AI assistant. And different than chat GPT. I mean, everybody uses that.

But I said, how would Shakespeare say, give yourself a bell? And I was thinking it would be like, give thyself a bell or something like that. It wrote a whole fucking sonnet. So I took it, and I ran it through another AI that can generate voices in different languages. And so I have a long version. That's the whole thing. And it's actually kind of, I think you're going to like it because it's very encouraging. But it is very Shakespearean.

Oh, gosh. And then I've got a medium version for when you guys piss me off, and then I've got the short version when you actually deserve a bell. Okay, you ready? So here's the long version. Harken to thine inner voice and give thyself a bell. No task shall be denied if thy will be strong and true. For when a bell is rung, it carries with it the sound of courage that giveeth strength to even the meekest of hearts.

So ring thine own bell and be mindful of its power and might, for it will be thy guide in whatever task thou sets thy sight. Okay, so just remember when you get a bell. Be mindful of its power and might, for t'will be thy guide in whatever task, thou set thy sight. Right? So here's the medium version. Harken to thine inner voice and give thyself a bell. And so I've got like Victorian London sounds in the background and stuff. That's fabulous.

Even though he was Elizabethan, but I can't find recordings of that. And then here's the short version. Give thyself a bell. I like it. That's what you're competing for now. Okay. We're not using that other shitty drop. Okay.

Oh, it's way better. Okay. So, I do have a couple of stories. Cool. And this one is from Lancet. It came out this week. And this is something that we've talked about in the past. And lots of people have talked about it.

It's like, what about natural immunity for COVID? Okay. Right? We're still talking about COVID three years later. Yep. And this is in Lancet, not some. not some shitty political rag. And it says the past SARS-CoV-2 infection against reinfection, a systematic review

and meta-analysis. So they took a bunch of studies and mushed them together and got data out of it. Okay. And 65 studies, 19 countries evaluated protection from SARS-cove-2 infection and symptomatic COVID-19 disease, which is, by the way, is redundant. to say COVID disease is redundant because the D, anyway, it doesn't matter, prevented by past infection. It's like the Department of Redundancy Department. Results showed high protection against reinfection and severe disease from ancestral alpha, beta, and delta variants.

I had Delta. That was a kick-ass variant, by the way. Lower protection against Omicron B-A-1 variant, but who cares because Omicron was a pretty mild disease. But protection from reinfection decreased over time, but remained relatively high. Protection against severe disease remained high for all variants. Okay. This is the take-home. Protection against severe disease remained high for all variants.

So natural immunity is a thing. Fuck you for anybody that said that it wasn't. And, you know, there were, again, irritation on. my part from going back to 2020 when I used to do the COVID sit reps that we needed to be spending more time on therapeutics and less time on vaccines. But here we are. Okay. Now, I am not an Andy Vax person.

I am just, as a matter of fact, because of the YouTube algorithm, vaccines are very safe and effective and prevent from transmission and severe diseases. disease. So that's my disclaimer. That keeps us on YouTube. But I don't have an issue with vaccines. What I do have an issue with is the fact that we committed to vaccines at the expense of everything else when we could have had therapeutics much, much earlier than we did. And you get the disease, you go to your doctor, you get a prescription, you take it, and then you don't go to the hospital and you don't die. And at that point, everything's over. you know we didn't have to go through a lot of the stuff that we went through so but anyway now I have on the other side of things people say oh the vaccine causes myocarditis so that is an inflammation of the heart we don't know what the long term effects are but I've been saying also just like Gian Beret when people were complaining about the swine flu vaccine causing Guillaume Bray, which is ascending neuritis causes nerve damage, starting in the feet and then

working up to the knees. And then if it gets up to your respiratory muscles, you're in big trouble. But then it descends again after it's done. Well, anyway, the swine flu vaccine caused Guyanbore. Well, you know what else caused Gion Bray? Swine flu. And yes, the SARS-CoV-2 vaccine causes myocarditis. and mostly in young men, or that's where we see the more symptomatic cases anyway.

But what else causes it is COVID-19. So now you've got to go, well, is there a risk-benefit thing? So here's a study, a systematic review, and meta-analysis. Because I've been hearing people say, oh, you're 27 times more likely to get myocarditis from the vaccine. That's not borne out in the data. I want to see what data they're looking at. because this is another systematic review and meta-analysis, and they found 22 studies consisting of 55 million vaccinated cohorts, 2.5 million in the infection cohort, okay? So there's some big numbers to play with.

The median age was 49 years, and 49% were men of the patients diagnosed with myocarditis, 1% were hospitalized in 0.015. I've died. The relative risk for myocarditis was more than seven times higher in the infection group than in the vaccination group. Okay? So there you go. There you go. That's it. And, you know, I just, this is a pretty good study.

Well, it's not a pretty good study. This is a very conclusive study. And this is the one that I will, you know, toss to people when they say, oh, no, the vaccine is worse than getting the disease. Now, do I think everyone should be vaccinated? No, it's not approved by the federal government. It is under an emergency use authorization. So mandating it, I've always been against. I don't understand how you mandate a drug or, you know, a therapeutic that's not been approved by the FDA going through its full process.

Understood, we didn't have time to mess with it. So they did an emergency use authorization. But I do think that people like me, you know, I was damaged by the virus. I lost 1 8th to 1 16th of my lung capacity because of this damn thing. And I'll show anybody the pictures that want to see it. And I had been vaccinated too. So, I mean, it kicked my ass. And so I do think that people in my group that are at high risk should certainly consider getting the vaccine.

The benefit probably significantly outweighs the risk. People who don't have a risk factor, which would be age over 65, now they're saying age over 50, but age over 65, BMI greater than 35, immunosuppression, diabetes, those are the ones that the people that we saw. Those people should probably talk to their health care provider about considering continuing the vaccine course. If you have no risk factors, then you've got to make that choice for yourself. I took the booster because I hope that it would prevent me from catching it and having to be out of work for five days.

So for me, it was a productivity issue, you know, but anyway, okay, so that, in case anybody's like, oh, he's, no, I'm looking at the data and I'm not pro anything that strongly. I'm pro-data, and I'm not anti-anything either. You know, I'm not a fan of mandates, and I think that people who are at risk should get vaccinated, and everybody else should talk to their health care provider about whether they want to do it or not. It's, you know, I'm, you know, I still have that libertarian bent that I think people ought to be able to do what the hell they want to do. So if you want to do it, do it. All right. All right. Questions, comments.

Enough with that. I don't want to be doing any more of this shit. I'm sick of talking about this virus. and let's talk about dicks and knots for God's sake. There you go. Okay, very good. Okay, here we go. It's Tacey's Time of Topics.

A time for Tacey to discuss topics of the day. Not to be confused with Topic Time with Harrison Young, which is copyrighted by Harrison Young and Area 58 Public Access. And now, here's Tacey. Boy, do I have some exciting stuff today? Oh, do you? Okay. All right. I'm sure it's very exciting. Okay. It's about zoonotic diseases. Now, think about why I would choose that subject, Steve, based on what we have been watching lately? Oh, what have we been watching lately where they did zoonotic diseases?

Alone? No. Well, that's an issue there. That one woman finally got a rabbit and she opened. Have you ever seen alone? I have, it's awful. Yeah, it's horrible. It's heart wrenching to watch. And she opened up this rabbit and she was starving and it had tularemia. And it was like, God, you know. I saw that one.

Yeah, she's trying to decide if she could cook. Yeah, and she was like, could I really, you know, trying to talk herself into it. But anyway. Fictional things that we're watching. Fictional thing that we're watching. Mayor of Kingston. No. Oh, poker face.

For zoonotic diseases? I don't know. I'm thinking of things that we're watching. don't know what the last of us oh of course oh my goodness of course there you go i'm sorry self a bell ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha give it up marty dale you and your gout i missed the beginning of that sorry let me give myself a bell so is that count as two no no okay so these are boring okay um well zoonotic diseases aren't boring we remember we had those people in the studio That was the thing.

We need to have them back. Yeah, they were great people. So I thought I would just talk about what I found and then just see if you had anything to say about them because they really are pretty boring. So you'll be Robin and I'll be Howard. No. And I really don't have a lot of detail on each one of these. I just kind of have like the names and then. So anyway, the first one is so exciting and you've never heard of it.

Okay. Get ready. Okay. Rabies. Ooh. Now, one thing it does say about rabies that I thought was pretty. interesting is that it's fatal once symptoms appear. That is correct. Is that

true? That's pretty much true. Let me see. I think there have been a few cases of people who have survived. But yeah, it's rabies is a son of a bitch. Now, this information all came from health.state dot, state, dot, Minnesota.U.S.

Yeah, okay. Cool. So I figured that's pretty... Oh, that was the whole story? No. Oh, okay. No, so that's the first one. That's the teaser. The second one is blastomach. Yes. And it's a fungal infection. Acquired by inhaling spores and fungus around from wood and soil. Yes. So do you see where I'm going now? Yes, I do. Yes. Yes. So the last of us,

they're, what is the last of us? It is a TV show that you must watch. That you really need to watch. It's brilliantly done. And the sort of the, the, whatever, the McGuffin or what, not a McGuffin. It's not a McGuffin, but the concept of it is that global warming has caused cordyceps fungus to adapt because they're usually like cold, cold, wet temperature, or cold wet environments. So it's now adapted, and now it can infect humans. Okay. Now, cordyceps is one of those fungi that causes, like, have you ever seen the Zion? zombie caterpillars or zombie ants where it will force, it will infect a caterpillar and then force it to go high up in the tree. It will control it.

Wow. And it'll force it to go high up in a tree so that a bird will eat it and then spread, you know, and then shit it back out again and spread it around, right? What if those things affected humans and caused them to become, you know, so there's the, it's like a zombie thing. You think it's going to be zombies and then you realize it's. way, way, way more than that. There's all these other things, clickers and bloats and all kinds of stuff. But anyway.

So there's quite a few of these. I mean, not quite a few. Listen, I'm not going to take up a lot of time. Just trust me. They did rabies was in that movie about, that had, oh, shit, had Dexter's sister in it, remember? And it was the super rabies that took over that apartment complex.

Mm-mm. I can't what the name of it was. I'll think of it in a minute. Okay. The next one is. can't pronounce it Cidicosis or chlamidophilius

Cicicicocis Cicocis? Cicocis? That's pretty good. That's, that's, um... You see? You get that from when you have a bird as a pet. Stupid, stupid!

Okay, you're in trouble. You get that from when you have a bird as a pet and it's referred to as avian clemidiosis or parrot fever in birds. We've got friends who have parrot fever Jimmy Buffett Oh yeah Quarantine. It was called quarantine that movie

Trichinosis Oh yeah Was caused by roundworm So we know about that one Cat Scratch Fever Now how do you get trichinosis though Used to get it from pork right Caused by roundworm

They migrate and embedding muscles Gotten from eating unproperly cooked wild game Yeah so back in the day we didn't eat pork in this country that was undercooked because for fear of trichinosis, but I had a USDA person say you could basically eat pork tartar in this country now because it's so that they've eliminated it from that vector. Yeah, it says there's about 20 cases a year in the U.S. Of actual trichinosis, but probably people eating, you know, wild game.

Yeah. And then cat scratch fever. Yes. Which you get from cat bites or scratches. Yes. But it says most healthy, not heavy people. Healthy people don't develop any symptoms. Of cat scratch, I mean?

Yeah, and usually you get better without treatment. Interesting. The next one is histoplasmosis. Do you know the... I'm trying to rush through these. Oh, you don't have to rush through them. I know we have a lot of calls. Do you know what the bacterium for cat scratch is?

No, it doesn't. say. Bartonella, but anyway. Okay. So look at you. It usually causes a red, painful lump in the armpit. Okay. Oh, we've talked about that on the show. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's right. Well, we had somebody on the show that we thought might have had that. Yeah. So histoplasmosis is the next one. And that's also caused by inhaling spores of fungus. Everyone in this area has that, by the way. If you look at an x-ray of every person who grew up here, they all have histoplasmosis. Really? Not really scars or granulomas.

They're little tiny dots in their lung, yeah. It says occurs primarily in Mississippi and the Ohio River valleys. Yeah, well, it's here, too. Cool. If you farm, you get it. If you're around bird or bat, guano, you get it. In 2018, there were 57 confirmed cases in the U.S. Yeah, it doesn't usually make people sick.

Now, this one is called Valley Fever. You ever heard of it? I have not. Coxidomycosis. Coxidio mycosis. It's also caused by a fungus in the environment. Southwestern U.S., fungal spores are in the air. Usually we'll get better in weeks to months, and they all cause, like, fatigue, cough, fever, shortness of breath.

And if you look at the map, it's right down the middle of the country. Really? Literally from Canada to Texas. It's just straight down the middle. If you're to the west, you're in coccidio mycosis country. Yeah. If you're to the east, you don't see it. Kind of a boring topic, but related to what we are doing with our life and our favorite show right now.

Watching television. Yes. Yes, absolutely. All right, very good. No, I think that was quite fascinating. Thank you, Tase. It's Tacey's Time of Topics. A time for Tacey to discuss topics.

All right, very good. Thank you, Tacey. Fungal disease. are the thing, and the conceit of that show is that they don't think viruses will take us out. The epidemiologists are not worried about, you know, bacteria taking us out, but a fungus that was able to survive inside a living human host would be a real problem for all of humanity. Because fungi, their cells are closer in function to ours. And it's a real problem, if you're not watching the show, you must.

Yeah, that is, if you're not watching the show, that is a problem in and of itself. Turns out to be a real booger. Yeah, that's right. Number one thing, don't take advice from some asshole on the radio. All right, you ready? Yes. Scott, did you have anything?

No, no, I was going to say, is willing to give you nightmares and keep you up at night watching the show. A little bit. That's not good. Yeah, and one of them, we cried like a baby afterward, and then Liam even did. He called up and said, I cried like a bitch.

bitch. He said I cried like a little bitch after that. I love it. All right. Let's see. Hey, Dr. Steve, call him back again. Okay, so this guy called twice, and the first call was, he ran out the timer, and it's like three minutes. It was just too long.

So he called back, and then most of the stuff that was in the first call, he got into this one. That was really long. I just wanted to say they'd put me on a five milligram regimen of Seattle. It didn't really work. And so this guy has erectile dysfunction and the pills aren't working. When it came time, I just took a bunch of them. It just didn't really do anything. So recently, instead of the injections, I said, could we just write this for the full

strength and try it again and see if it would work? So I basically now have the Viagra for 100 milligram and Cialis for 20. It didn't work. It seemed like it didn't do anything. Right. In fact, I didn't even get some of the symptoms that you normally get, a flushing in the face and all that other stuff. Okay.

Nothing seemed to work with this. So my question is, is there anything else I could do orally take other than these injections because I just can't see myself injecting myself there in the heat of the moment or even before the moment? You know, I'm no stranger to injections. I manage my diabetes orally, but that's, there's a big time difference, you know, between, you know, injecting my thigh and injecting something right into the, side of my penis like that.

So that's my question. Sure. Thanks for your patience. Hi, Casey. Hi. Oh, yay. Should we fuss at him, though, for taking a bunch of what he's not been prescribed? Take your medication the way it's prescribed, of course.

So you're going to get fussed out a little bit. I'm assuming that he was taking five milligram Cialis and he took four of them to get himself up to 20, and he did the right thing by going to his primary care and saying, hey, could I get the 20 milligram and try that? So, yeah, you know, you tried the P.D.E.5 inhibitors didn't really work. So now what do you do? Because we used to not have anything. Now we have these things and if they don't work. So it's not really true that we didn't have anything.

Before this, before the Cialis and Viagra and stuff, we had some stuff. We had Yohimbein, which was you could just buy over the counter. I had some patients that had really good luck with that. Horny goat weed. Yeah, you can take horny goatweed. It's a pretty good placebo that you could try. Just because it's called a horny goat weed, you know you're just going to go at it. And one of the things you want to make sure is that this is not a psychological thing that's actually physiological.

I'm assuming that they've done all of that. But one of the things that they do is they can put a penile monometer on your slung. And then at night you sleep. and if you have nocturnal two messans in other words erections in the middle of the night then we know that

you're supposed to have right that you're supposed to have then we know that it's it's probably psychological one thing that you can do is when you they just have those rolls of tape you could use a roll of tape

put it around there snugly and then not the whole roll just a piece of it yeah just right just one time around yeah

did I say tape I meant stamps well you said a roll of tape you said a roll of tape No, no, no, no. Don't do that. Don't do a roll of tape. Yeah, I'm confused. Okay. No, you take a roll of stamps and you go one time around with stamps. And then if you wake up in the morning and it's broken, you probably had an erection.

Oh, okay. Right, right. Okay. God, yeah, it's nobody take a roll of tape. Don't put a roll of tape on your penis. No, no, no, no, thank you. Oh, for God's sake. So, right. People are getting it out right now. Yeah. You see? You see? You see your stupid minds. Stupid. Stupid. Okay, anyway.

That's from, anybody know what movie that's from? No. Hang on, the Christmas movie. No. Damn it. No. I had to try. I'm one bell down.

It was... I'll take a shot. Lord and lady, douche your bag. That's for the two of you when you gang up on. There you, there you go. So, no, it was Plan 9 from outer space. Oh, God. tongue.

I mean, were you even born when that was... Hell no. Nobody listened to the show right now was born that long ago. Oh, well, whatever. It's a classic. It's a classic. Can you please stop bullshitting? Okay.

Sorry, honey. So what else can he do? So we had you know, him being, you know, whatever. But we had the vacuum pump. Vacuum works very well. You have to get a properly manufactured vacuum. pump. You put it around your slong and it has a cock ring on the end of it. And then once you get a good seal, you evacuate the air from the chamber and it draws blood into your penis. That's all

you're trying to do is, you know, you want to pump more in than you can get out, right? And that'll blow it up into a nice, meaty, purple giant erection. And then you slip that cock ring off and you keep it in there. And then just don't forget to take the cock ring off. after you're done doing whatever you're going to do with it. Do you still get the same effect, though? Yeah, you do. It's weird. It's the nerves that trigger a, you know, an orgasm, apparently are linked to the stretch receptors

of the penis because, yeah, just stretching it any old way you can that way works. And if it doesn't, who cares, at least you're able to thrust around. and do some stuff. Now, you can get an implant. When I used to go to the VA, they were doing implants all, you know, right and left over there. I guess they were practicing. And you'd go in and these guys in the VA, just be whipping it out and showing you their permanent erection. But they have ones now that have, and that was when I was training back in the VA, they have ones now that you can pump up and down.

You know, you turn a little, you know, spatchcock or whatever, not spat. It's not a spatch cock. That's what you do to a chicken. But it's some sort of, you know, valve in there. And then it'll fill up. Check valve. And then, yeah. And then you turn it down and it goes back down again.

Does insurance usually pay for that? You have to do a whole lot of fiddle and show that it's a medical indication for doing it. But you can sometimes get insurance. It depends on the insurance. A lot of times you end up having to pay for it yourself. But what's it worth to you? And then the third thing is, yes, you can do the Alproproval. Ostadil injections.

And really you're using a little 30-gauge needle like a insulin needle, and it just goes in the base where that spongy part of the penile erectile tissue is, thank you. What if you accidentally put it where the testicles are? Well, don't, it doesn't jab it in your testicles. Yeah, right. What if you put it in the wrong place? If you put it in the wrong place, it won't work. No, and if you've been married long enough, you don't have any test me anyway.

Right. That's good. Well, you're, okay, all right. Give thyself a bell. Oh, me. Yes, yes, yes. So, yes, so there is an alternative to that, though, and it's called the Muse system, M-U-S-E. It is Alprostadil suppositories.

It's like, oh, I can shove something up my ass. Nope. Nope. You're shoving it down your. cockhole. And there is a little plastic device in there that you put the suppository on, and then you position it over the urethral meatus, and you push down on this thing, and you're inserting that suppository down about halfway down the urethra. And then it seeps into the surrounding tissues. And I've had patients that thought that was the greatest thing in the

world because they didn't have to inject themselves and I've had patients that said didn't do anything for them. So those are things you can try. There are other, most urologists will have their own sort of cocktail, no pun intended, for injections that may have other drugs in it other than just alprostodil. But it's not that bad. Like compounded stuff. Yeah, they compound it. And I think it would be worth a try. I don't, I think once you did it, if you got good results from it, it's be worth the pain in the ass whipping out an insulin needle and jabbing your penis

in two places. So you can get a nice... Oh, it takes two? Well, yeah, it's either side. Oh. If you only do the one, the one side will blow up and the other side will still be flabby so it'll look weird. It'll look like a U. But, you know, one other thing to

if he's obviously a diabetic so that does have its own set of challenges for erectile dysfunction. But The other thing is, if your testosterone is really low, I have seen people that those medications don't help it all if your testosterone is low. That's absolutely right. And I'm assuming, I'm making an assumption that they checked his testosterone first.

But if not. If they haven't, then... They get a minus bell. We take a bell away from them. I wish I had one. Maybe I had this back, do this backwards. I could do one of these where I reverse the thing. I do this.

Scorn. And if I'm defa, right. Science. Slight regard. Contempt. I'm sorry, anyway. All right. I was in a Shakespeare mood that. Let's see here. Okay, I'm just looking how to inject this stuff. Okay, draw it into the syringe. How to give the alprostodil injection. Choose a spot on your penis as directed by your doctor where you will give the injection. Clean the injection site with alcohol. Okay, insert the needle until almost all the

metal part of the needle is inserted into the penis. Don't inject it just under the surface of the skin at the top or head of the penis. Oh, my God. Or at the base near the scrotum or testes. That was what Tacey was talking about. Avoid injecting the medicine into the blood vessels that you could see. Right. The giant dorsal vein that goes down the top of your penis, you do not want to be injecting it there.

And then it says it's not painful. And they're saying here just one place. So I may have, I may have to give myself a negative bell as well. Yeah. Okay. That's it. Yeah. Yeah.

So they're just saying one sign. Cool. Well, it seems a little much to have to do it in two. I agree. Yeah, we too. Yep. Never use a bent needle. No shit.

Why not? God. Oh, goodness. All right. Maybe we could, maybe we could do a demonstration of this. one day. I could get some Alprostodil in here. Hell, I'll do it. I mean, just to see, you know, demonstrate. I mean, one of the things, listen, when Ronald Reagan had his colonoscopy, all of a sudden everybody got colonoscopies. Oh, it's cool. And one of the presidents had prostate cancer

or something. Everybody got their prostate checked. So I would be happy to be that person for the alprosidil because if you, listen, if you are a dude and you have an active libular, and you can't complete the transaction, it's a problem. And I'll do anything to help anybody that's got that issue. So maybe we'll do that. I just got a message on my phone. Now, Jimmy Carter is in hospice care. You're bringing up presidents.

Yeah, okay. So, well, hell, I, Jimmy's still alive? That's amazing. It's crazy. Yeah. That's amazing. I can't find a story, though. He's very mature.

Yeah, he certainly is. And he did a lot of stuff after he was present. I got mad respect for him, number one, for winning when he did, four years of shite. And then, but after that, he just said, listen, I'm just going to go out there and I'm going to help people. So he did the habitat for humanity. He did, absolutely. He worked his ass off doing that stuff. So I've got to give him some credit for that.

All right. Well, I hope that he is comfortable. And if there's anything I can do, if the people, listen, Carter, family. If the hospice folks aren't doing what you think they need to do, give me a call. I have some credentials that I can use that, well, I can get through to anybody. So, all right. OK-doke. So I think we covered that. Let's do this one. Hey, Dr. Steve. My wife has lost about 85 pounds over the last eight months. Good for her.

Excellent. And now she's suffering from restless leg syndrome. Interesting. And it's annoying as hell. And I don't see many ways to treat it other than, you know, people saying, yeah, get up and move around. Don't fight the earth to move. But how do you sleep? You always have to move your legs.

It's miserable. Yeah. So the people, I don't know where the, what medical school those people went to that told you just get up and walk around. That's for leg cramps. This is different. Now, when you say it's miserable, are you having them? I had it when I was pregnant. Oh.

I took Benadryl for it. Okay. Interesting. And it worked. Of course, I couldn't take, you know, there are medications out there for it. Yeah, Pramapexol is the one. Right. Because I was pregnant.

But Benadryl did. So there are medications that change dopamine levels in the brain. One of them is Pramipexol. That's the one that I'm used to. It's also sold as Mirapex. And usually the site, it's pretty well tolerated. People will use gabapentin, aka Neurontin, for this as well. And then some folks that just can't take all that stuff will use Clonopon, clonazepam.

It's related to Valium and Praislam, Xanax, Larazepam, Ativan, all of those things. And that works pretty well as well. Scott, you got anything from a traditional Chinese medicine standpoint? I would give them something kind of similar to the stress list that we have. Yeah, what's it got in it? Astraglis, of course. Of course, it does. It's an adaptogenic herb, but there are some other ones that are also kind of cool things.

By adaptogenic, does it mean it adapts to any condition that you give it? Exactly, exactly. It's magic. It's magic. But there are some other things inside the stress list formula that just help calm people. down. Yeah. It helps calm your mind, calm the nerves, and help you get to sleep.

You know, if you can't take Benadryl or something like that, because, you know, sometimes antihistamids. Elder people should, I don't know how old this person is, but, yeah, what were you going to say about antihistamines? Anti-Histamines can cause issues, you know, too. Like what? Possibly wrestles legs if you take them long enough. Okay.

And what else does it increase your risk of? Yes, that's true. For sure, because that's, I had a question about that. Increases your risk of something if you take it up for a long time. Falling down and going boom. Well, Alzheimer's. Give myself a bell. Oh, my.

That's what I was looking for. That should be a double bell, though. That's what I was looking for, was the dementia. It does make you fall risk. And so if you're elderly, you probably shouldn't be taking any colonergic medications. If you have a little bit of dementia, it can give you a lot of dementia. And if you take it on and on and on during adulthood, then it can increase your risk of dementia. So were you going to say something today?

Nope. Not anything. Okay. All right. So, Dr. Steve and friends, this is Mike from Ohio. Hey, Mike. When I was a little kid, I enjoyed sitting down and watching the Three Stooges. Yes.

But any time a Shemp showed up instead of a Curly, I would disappoint us. Yeah, I'm going to stop him there. We used to have this joke amongst us that our version of hell would be 24 hours of Three Stooges movies, and all of them are Shemp. That's no good. But honestly, Shemp, I came to enjoy Shemp. Oh, yeah. But Curly Joe, no.

Joe Besser. Do you remember Joe Besser? He was the guy that going, not so hard. Not so hard. Oh, yeah, I do remember him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, anyway. So I'm with him on that.

Yep. So I'm loath to play the rest of this because I'm going to get an email. But anyway. And I felt the same way, listening to the beginning of your latest podcast. It's you, Dr. Scott, Casey, and then some dope, Stacey, Delocia. Oh, boy, okay. Come on. For Stacy.

For Stacy. He's like, comparing him to Shemp episodes of the Three Stooges. Well, he is definitely no Lydia. Agree to disagree on that. Yes, but Lydia, of course. I mean, you know, I think even Stacy would have met. Stacey would say if we had the choice between him and Lydia, we should take Lydia. I mean, Stacy is wonderful, but.

Yeah. Well, all right. Hey, Dr. Steve, I totally forgot I have an even more important question. Okay. On that previous one. I've got a skin tag growing on my nutsack. Okay. And I can't ask my dermatologist to deal with it because he's always got these 20-something

hot scribes in the office. Dude, they don't care. They've seen it. His hot scribes are not interested in you. So it's not like you're going to whip your skin tag-laden, scrot them out, and they're going to go, oh, I would have gone out with him, but now it's ruined it. At all times. And the last time, my urologist's got the same problem. When I went into a vasectomy, he had some 24-year-old cutie prepping my balls for the procedure.

Oh, I've never seen that. Can I just clip this shit off myself? I know. Please don't do that. Now, your primary care probably can't afford to. have a, you know, a hot scribe in there. So your primary care provider can do it. You can, when you go in to any physician's office, you can say, I don't want anyone else in here.

You have the right to do that. You're paying for it. So you could do that if that's what it is. But call them ahead of time and say, listen, I'm coming in. It's in a sensitive area. I don't want any scribes in there. I just want, you know, doctor so-and-so or PA-so. You know, I worry about that with my.

upcoming colonoscopy because of my age. And I know that he sees like... He sees like... Forty-five, so now you have to have one. Well, I mean, I'm... I mean, you're young. Right under 50. I'm at the underbelly of 50.

So, I mean... I was trying to make it so you could just pretend you were 45. Yeah. I'm not going to lie. Okay. Anyway, so I know that he sees buttholes all day long. Right. All day long.

Not just one, not just two, not just three, not just four. I mean, in and out, in and out, in and out, in and out. Don't care. What if mine's different? It's not. It's not. It's not. He's seen them all. And here's the other thing.

When I had my colonoscopy when I was awake, you know, I've had two or three wide awake now. And I remember the first time I did it, and people have been listening for a long time to know this, the grossest thing for me, because all of it was cool, seeing your innards, but was when. in the scope was just ready to enter the colon, and all you see is a big, giant, hairy anus filling up the whole screen. Well, don't watch that part. After that, just close your eyes when they say, okay, until they get it in. It's pink after that. They're all pink after that.

What if I say stupid stuff? You won't. You will. No, you won't. You won't say stupid. I thought I would. I was so terrified that the first time I did, I was terrified to get anesthesia because I thought I'd worked myself into it.

Oh, yeah. I mean, what if I just started screaming, you know, just hateful things and stuff like that or worse? And I was now, then I was like, I've worried about it so much. Now I'm sure I'm going to do it. And people just go, mm-hmm, that's the way he really is. And it's not. You just, you know, you just say random shit.

I know these people in this office, too. Oh, you're going to say something awful. You're not. You won't. Nobody ever does. Nobody ever does. Well, they'll just laugh at you if you do, by the way. Yeah.

Yes. But nobody ever does. Last one I had, they said, boy, you sure grunt it a lot. Yeah, I'm good. You can grunt. You grunt anyway. It's like, I'm sorry. And then I told them they had the best Dr. Pepper I've ever had.

And they were like, we don't even have Dr. Pepper. You said nice things. I was so stomp. I get, totally get what he's saying. I get it. But, no, I do too. So when I did that, you know, the big giant anus on the screen, and there's two of the nurses that work with them that I've worked with for years.

And I remember running into them in the hall about a week later, and I said, stop it. And they went, what? And I said, I know what you, when you see me, I know what you're seeing in your head is my big giant hairy anus. And they were like, well, until you just said that, we didn't even think about it. So when I used to do pelvic exams, and if I ran into that person in the store, I didn't think, oh, you know, they're, you know, they're nether. regions. I didn't do that. It's just not how it works. It's just part of the job. And it's just your anus and your colon is just equipment that he's checking out. That's it. That's how they look at it. Just like a plumber. Just like a plumber. Maybe I need a nice

Brazilian wax before. That's up to you if you want to do that. I don't, you know, whatever. That sounds painful too, though. Yeah, but if you don't want the scrub text going, ew, look at her. You know, she's not well-groomed. there, then that's fine. That's up to you. That's a chick thing. You guys worry about that stuff. I think it's half and a half on getting the Brazilian. Anyway, here we go. Can we videotape it? Sure. The colonoscopy or the wax. No, the wax. The waxing, so we can discuss it. I'm more, I would be more afraid to get a wax than colonoscopy, though. There you go. Well, then, okay, problem solved. Okay. Dude, get somebody to do it, but don't know.

do it yourself. I tried to do my own with a toenail clipper. Stupidest thing I ever did in my life. It was a big one. And I only had one skin tag in my life and it was about a quarter of an inch long and it was about a quarter of an

inch wide. It was pedunculated though. So it was wide and then narrow and then wide again hanging down between my scrotum and my thigh. And I'm like, well, hell, I'd take these off all the time. And when I do them in the office, office, I usually don't anesthetize

them because it takes longer to numb them up. It just go snip. But I didn't have the fancy surgical scissors where you can just go snip and it's that quick. I had a, you know, I had a toenail coat. So I get in there

and I go, you know, I clamp down on it. You just pissed it off. It's like, what did I do? Yes. I just pissed it off because it didn't go all the way through. And now it's like, I'm committed. and it was like it took me a minute to get up my courage to just go just start cranking it now you had to chew it off and I had to chew it yes yes exactly right that's exactly what it was like I had to kind of masticate it off and I finally got it and it was fine but it was like why did I do this I'm I am a cautionary tale for our listeners don't do stupid shit like that anyway all right oked out yeah don't do it yourself it's stupid even when a doctor does it is really stupid But, hey, Dr. Steve, it's Albert from Albuquerque.

Hey, Albert. I hope you're doing well. Yes, sir. I hope you are. Hey, listen, I don't know if you remember, but about nine months ago, I called in. I had a radical prospect of me. Da Vinci method. Okay.

Statistically speaking, if you say, I don't know if you remember. If you're talking to me, the answer is going to be no. No. Just statistically. Not just this. It's everything. So anyway, okay. It's robotic.

That's awesome. And I had some elias issues after that. I thought through those. for the most part. Ilius, meaning his bowel, was paralyzed and probably just couldn't shit and he got bloated enough. For nine months now, I've had ongoing pubic area and testicular pain, just chronic testicular pain, transitioning, standing up, sitting down is painful. The surgeon, the oncology surgeon, has not a clue what's going on here.

I have lymphoceles, but the volume of the lymphociles are not high enough. Their lymphociles are where they remove the lymph nodes in my pelvic wall. means that there's fluid there now during the surgery, but they're containing maybe 30 milliliters. What? They're estimating of fluid in the lymphociles by the CT scans. You're speaking my language now, man. There's 30 mls of fluid in his pelvis.

So they're dismissing that. They thought it might be a bacterial concern of the epidemates, and we did 24 days of Cipro. Epidivus. And that didn't have impact on it either. Scott's shaking his head. You deal with pelvic pain and males in your practice, don't you? You got something to say? Yeah, it sounds like he's going down to a bath where he's got some scarring.

Yep. And he's got some nerves that are trapped inside the scar tissue deep in his pelvis. Give myself a bell. Oh, for God's sake. Yeah, baby, I'm a row. Yeah, but you know what? I have totally kicked your ass for like the past. Oh, I wouldn't go back in time, baby.

This is today only, today only counts. That's right. But I will tell you, well, Dr. Stephen can talk about it too, but this can be a real problem. Yeah. Because there are some, there are some things if it's not an infection, which I'm, which it sounds like they've ruled out. It sounds like they've ruled that out. Yeah. If it, if it is, in fact, a trap nerve, pinch nerve, they can do, you know, you can do acupuncture.

Sure. And the sacrum, you know, the pelvis. You can do physical therapy sometimes. Yeah, all this stuff he's trying to. He's tried it. You know, a really good interventional on pain medicine doc can do sometimes do injections, very targeted. I'm not going to give you a bell for that. I'm going to give you one generic bell for the same.

Yeah, but it's hard. It's a tough. You need somebody that has the right equipment and knows what they're doing. And then it gives his shit. Yeah, yeah. Because that's a tough, that's a really tough problem to. Yeah. Because I don't know.

Yeah. Oh, no. And the thing is is that pelvic lymphoceles can cause pain as well. And the thing that his is positional, which makes me think. that the fluid's moving around and it's causing pain so that may still need to be looked at if there's some way that they can ablate those

or drain them or do any of that kind of stuff because there's I'm looking at one article we're about out of time an unusual localization of seven months delayed pelvic lymphosil following radical retributic prostatectomy and it caused this guy pain standing and sitting

so there you go all right Okay, before we go, Dr. Scott, you had one from the waiting room. Yeah, Gino Bobina. Hey, Gino Bobina, who, by the way, did not show up at Dabalcon. Oh. Now, for people who are watching live, I think they can see Sean Pedrick. Yeah, that thing is awesome. Made us an incredible banner back there that we'll be using.

That was a great-looking banner. Yeah, he's amazing. He won't let me plug his business. I wish he would. Yeah, heck you. Because, I mean, that's outstanding work. It's beautiful. Yeah, I've actually, I mean, he does banners and all kinds of stuff and flags.

Well, he can help me with my next project. Okay. And you can buy God and pay him. And I will pay him by God. Okay. Well, all right, so Gina Bobina. Do pre-cancerous cells in the cervix turn into cancer 100% of the time? So I think the question that she's asking, because on a cellular level, who knows?

Right. But what she's asking, I think, is if, and Gina, correct me if I'm wrong, is if you have a pap smear that shows pre-cancerous cells, will that 100% of the time turn into cancer, cervical cancer? And the answer is, no, even the highest grade pre-cancerous findings, the ones that are the most concerning on a pap smear are associated with. true invasive cervical cancer in only about 10 to 20% of cases. And it takes years to progress. But does that mean, well, don't worry about it? No. If you have a abnormal pap smear, you've got to take care of it.

You don't know if you're going to be like 10 to 20%. If we had a test that would say, oh, yeah, you're in that 20% that is going to turn into cancer and everybody else we can rule it out, then those people could forget about it. Right now, getting the vaccine for human papillomavirus, version 16 and other strains, is the best way to prevent cervical cancer. And we're already seeing a decrease in abnormal pap smears in the data. And over time, in the next 10 years, we should be able to document a significant decline in cervical cancer cases. But cervical cancer itself,

really preventable disease, get your pap smears on schedule. And they've changed the schedule. You don't have to go every year. It used to be every single year you'd have to go and put your heels in the stirrups and get it. And they've changed it. It depends on your risk and all that kind of stuff. But, yeah, that's an interesting finding, but don't blow it up. For example, smoking doesn't doom you to getting lung cancer.

It just increases your risk highly significantly. So if we had, again, a blood test that said, you can smoke until the end of your days and you will never get lung cancer, then hell, go smoke. But we don't have that. So now the only way that we can try to put a lid on this is tell everybody don't smoke until we have that. Or we have a cure for cancer like COVID, where, oh, I got lung cancer. You go to the pharmacy and pick up a prescription and then you take it and you don't have lung cancer anymore. Then who cares? Except then there's heart attack and stroke,

so we've got to have, you know, things for that too. That's an issue, too. So we're just trying to mitigate risk. You wear your seat belt to decrease your risk of dying in a car wreck. It doesn't keep you from dying in a car wreck. It just decreases your risk. All right. Got anything else?

I got to say hey to Joe Ferrara from Durham, North Carolina. Oh, really? He picked him up some, your old stop of the grounds, picked him up some CBD nasal spray today. Said he'd be listening to the show. Oh, okay. Awesome. Here we see how to.

Thank you, Joe. Thank you, Joe. You surely are again. Tar Heels. Up there in... Tar Hill Country. Well, he's in Durham. He's in Blue Devil's country.

Did I accidentally say? No. That's because you're an idiot. God, what a slip. You see? You see your stupid minds. Stupid. He may retract his order.

You get nothing. You lose. Good day, sir! That's all of them. I think we're good to go. Okay, sounds good. Hey, thanks, everybody. Thank you.

That was loads of fun today. And what I need to do, though, is get the script up for the podcast. Let me see. Where is that? There it is. Well, thanks go to Tacey, of course, and to Dr. Scott. And check out his website at simplyherbils.net. And listen to our show on SiriusXM.

the Faction Talk channel, SiriusXM Channel 103, Saturdays at 7 p.m. Eastern, Sunday at 6 p.m. Eastern on demand and other times at Jim McClure's pleasure. Many thanks to our listeners whose voicemail and topic ideas make this job very easy. Go to our website at Dr. Steve.com for schedules, podcasts, and other crap. Until next time, check your stupid nuts for lumps, quit smoking, get off your asses and get some exercise. We'll see you in one week for the next edition of Weird Medicine. Goodbye, everyone.

See you guys. Goodbye. Goodbye. I don't know. Thank you.