Weird Medicine: The Podcast - 549 - The "V" Show

Episode Date: May 5, 2023

Dr Scott, Tacie and DNP Carissa discuss: Holy Testicle Batman! Taffy Scrotum Cardiac Age Personality Traits "Sody Dopes" Fast Vag Facts Epigenetics Please visit: stuff.doctorsteve.com (for all your online shopping needs!) ed.doctorsteve.com (for your discount on the Phoenix device for erectile dysfunction) simplyherbals.net/cbd-sinus-rinse (the best he's ever made. Seriously.) roadie.doctorsteve.com (the greatest gift for a guitarist or bassist! The robotic tuner!) Also don't forget: Cameo.com/weirdmedicine (Book your old pal right now while he’s still cheap! "FLUID!" Most importantly! CHECK US OUT ON PATREON!  ALL NEW CONTENT! Robert Kelly, Mark Normand, the O&A Troika, Joe DeRosa, Pete Davidson, Geno Bisconte. Stuff you will never hear on the main show ;-) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What happened to the cat that ate a ball of yarn? They had mittens. And if you're heading out, they need to know whether you need mittens or sunglasses. How is a private eye, like the dry cleaners? They both do other people's dirty work. How did the dad justify buying a boat? There was a sale. sale.

If you just read the bio for Dr. Steve, host of weird medicine on Sirius XM103, and made popular by two really comedy shows, Opie and Anthony and Ron and Fez, you would have thought that this guy was a bit of, you know, a clown. Why can't you give me the respect that I'm entitled to? I've got Duptheria, crushing my esophagus, I've got subalovir stripping from my nose

I've got the leprosy of the heartbound exacerbating my infectable woes I want to take my brain out blast with the wave an ultrasonic, ecographic and a pulsating shave I want a magic pill all my ailments, the health equivalent of citizen gain and if I don't get it now in the tablet I think I'm doomed then I'll have to go insane

I want a requiem for my disease so I'm paging Dr. Steve From the world famous Cardiff Electric Network Studios. It's weird medicine, the first and still only on censored medical show and the history broadcast radio, now a podcast. I'm Dr. Steve with my little pal, Dr. Scott, a traditional Chinese medicine practitioner that gives me street cred with the wackle alternative medicine assholes.

Hello, Dr. Scott. Hey, Dr. Steve. And my partner in all things, Tacey. Hello, Tacey. Hello. And back from sabbatical, it is D&P Carissa. Hello, Carissa. Hello.

This is a show for people who would never listen to a medical show on the radio. or the internet. If you have a question, you're embarrassed to take your rig of a medical provider. If you can't find an answer anywhere else, give us a call 347-766-4323. That's 347. Pooh-Hid. Follow us on Twitter at Weird Medicine or at DR. Scott, WM. Visit our website at Dr.steve.com for podcasts, medical news and stuff you can buy. Most importantly, we are not your medical providers. Take everything here with the grain of salt. Don't act on anything you hear on this show without talking it over with your health care provider. All right. Don't forget, stuff.doctrsteve.com.

Stuff.com really helps keep us on the air. You can just click through to Amazon. Or you can scroll down, look at all the cool crap we have on there, including the womanizer, everyone's favorite adult toy, and the roadie robotic guitar tuner, if you have someone that plays a stringed instrument, that's, you know, for under $200 bucks. What is it?

The bass one's $150 and the, Guitar ones, what, like 139, something like that. It is a really great gift, and if you play yourself, it's a great gift you'll give you yourself. Brian May said, well, you bloody bastard, you know, why did you come out with this at the end of my career? So, good for him. Anyway, it's really cool, and you can tune your guitar when you're on stage and not even look at anything. It'll just tune it for you. So check that out.

roadie. Dr.steve.com or you can go to stop. Dotterstead.com and just scroll down. If you're interested in the Phoenix acoustic wave erectile dysfunction device, you can pay thousands and thousands of dollars

to have these treatments done in someone's med spa with someone holding onto your junk while they move this probe up and down or you can do it in the privacy of your own. home for a fraction of the cost. Still isn't cheap, but if you go to ed.doctorsteve.com, you can get a discount, get a pretty good deal.

They have a monthly payment plan. I am sacrificing myself for the Weird Medicine mail community by trying the tester version myself. And so far, so good. And yeah, it's

interesting. I wish I could demonstrate it. Kind of hard to do. And it takes 17 minutes twice a week for a month, and then you take a month off, and then you do it one more month, and then you're basically done. But it'll wake up half the house when you do it.

It is very loud. Just be aware. E.D. Is that what I've been hearing? I don't know. Are you serious? What have you been hearing? I don't know.

I'm just kidding. Okay. You are a liar. All right. And then check out tweaked. I don't know. Tweakeda.com. Offer code fluid.

You get 33% off. I don't know if we get anything from that anymore, but I know that the code still works, so you can buy three earbuds for the price of two, and they're really good, and they've got great customer service. So tweakedaadio.com, offer code fluid, and then don't forget Dr. Scott's website at simplyerbils.net. Check out our Patreon at patreon.com slash weird medicine.

We just did a show just recently, and we're going to do another one that we've got a ton of Patreon questions to do and 100% of questions sent to us get done on that show so if that may be enough for some people to do it got a lot of different tiers

not very expensive and check that out Patreon.com slash weird medicine and then there is a cameo and I'll say fluid to your mama hell I'll say anything to your mama at cameo.com slash weird medicine and it's cheap, it's fun. I like doing them.

It's just goofy, and it supports my ham radio habit. All right. There you go. All right. Don't forget to check out Dr. Scott's website at simplyerbils.net. That's simplyerbils.net. He has some delightful CBD nasal spray that literally is the best thing in the world. I need to get some of that.

Me too. Okay, yeah, all right. Well, I was going to order some. Well, actually, I bought some from Scott the other day, and I'll order some more. Yes. And, anyway, there you go. You guys... Cash money.

Have anything interesting? No. No. Okay. Here we go. Off the normal start. All right. Well, let's just do our event things then.

Let's do it. We've got some actual bits now, and let's try one of these. They're not any good, but we have it. Oh, well, this one's good, though. Here we go. It's time for... mom swipes left has questions with jenn and carroll from the mom swipes left podcast dr steve we have a very close friend who is a male and who has testicles well now because you have to it's true you do have to

clarify clarify that he does not wear extraordinarily tight underwear but he often is fishing around in his crotch and i ask what are you doing yeah he claimed that his testicles will slip into the testicle hole. What? So you remember when we were talking to the drag queens? Yeah. And they say they tuck their testicles up into the testicle holes. I guess.

I thought they tucked them into their taint area. Yes, this is a different thing. One is a medical problem and the other one is a cosmetic thing. So, yes, people, you can tuck all your, the male junkleries. between the legs right around the taint area and if you put the right sort of underwear binding there you can make it look like it does it's not there but it's there if you know where to look yeah but there's like a special hole what are you talking about it's like where they drop out from I see they push them back up in exactly okay but his testicles they do not that is not he does they don't this guy does slip into those holes without provocation. Yeah, just voluntarily. And so he asked the Yanke him back out because it's uncomfortable.

I've never heard of this. Dr. Steve, what the fuck is going? I mean, really? I was thinking about the balls. Yeah. And I have a second question. Well, let's answer this one. Do you know what it is?

Let me get everything ready here. If you can stick your testicles back through the hole that came through, you have a hernia. And that's a problem. Boom. Yes. That's a hernia. I disagree. He has a retractile.

Now, he may be prone to get a hernia. Okay, fair enough, yeah. But if you can move your testicles up into the canal, that is called a retractile testicle. So that's like shrinkage on a different level. Right, right. So there's this cremaster muscle, which causes the shrinkage. I wish I had that as a drop, because Stan's a yelling.

That's the shrinkage. And it pulls the testicles up. closer to the body and then it relaxes to release the testicles back up into the rectum and also can drag the external part of the penis, you know, half of it is inside, half of its outside into the body as well. This is a normal reflex. But if the testicles don't move back down into the scrotum and stay up in the canal, then that is called a retractile testicle. If you can move them up and down, that's fine. You don't have to do anything about it.

It just means he's got quite the... Canal? Large canal, that's right. Quite the canal. That's a hell of a canal you have, everybody. Yeah. But if it goes up and it doesn't come back down, then that's a problem. And some people have testicles that never come down.

Those are called non-descended testicles. If those are not dealt with, that's why you may think it's weird that when your kid turns a certain age, the pediatrician or the primary care provider starts manipulating their testicles. They want to know that there's two descended testicles in their scrotum because if there isn't, if there's only one or none, then they have a non-descended testicle. That will become malignant at a very high rate compared to regular testicles. it's not a they used to teach us it was 100% it's not 100% but it is a very you know the risk is very high if you have this sort of non-descended testicles stuck up in the canal like that and so this but your friend has a retractile testicle you don't have to necessarily treat those but you want to know that it has happened when they do treat it when they yank it down and they make it not go back up

That's called an orchiapexie. And they make this small incision in the groin, and they locate the testicle, and then they bloop it on down, and they make an incision at the base of the scrotum, and then they kind of twist or stitch the testicle into the scrotum so it can't go back up anymore. So, anyway. So that's a retractile testicle.

And as an adult, it's kind of unusual to see that where somebody's got to fish around in their own. underwear. This guy may be lying. He may just be, you know, he's around these hot women and he's just manipulating stuff. Well, and let's talk about the other thing. Sometimes they do get kind of pinched.

Let's talk about normal. Let's say, let's say if you're not gifted with a giant cavern for your testicles to slide back in. You have normal testicles, right, that don't slide back and forth. Yeah, talk about that. The saltwater taffy effect.

Oh. Right. It's like saltwater tapy against your thigh, and it just kind of, you have to peel it off. That's disgusting. You guys are gross. We are gross. But, no, you should have been there last. There's nothing pretty about the male genitalia. Pretty disgusting.

My friend Rebecca, who was, she's a gold star lesbian, never had a penis in her vagina. And she just says that to her, it just looks like you've got this horrible birth defect. that's hilarious but you know but for just normal testicles a normal situation in normal underwear if your underwear is a little loose they can shift around and get out of place or maybe your underwear is a little too tight and you and you move funny they can kind of pinch you keep talking i got to fix oh you fixed yes the wind yeah yeah no no you're fine you're fine your head's just not big enough obviously to block the wind but um it's a thousand degrees up here in the weird medicine studio again scott and i are going to install

this year, we're going to install a, what do they call the... I'll believe it? Let's see it. It's an air conditioner that's got two pieces. I can't remember the name of it. But anyway, we're going to install that. Or even a fan. You were talking about that fan.

I don't think that's going to do it. I'll just push hot air around. We may have to record that and make some money off of our installation of that thing. Oh, I'd like to give. Can you imagine. Hey, but if we're going back to the testicle will shift. Okay, sorry. Because testicle do shift, and they can get, you know, the skin can get pinched.

And as you age, you know, gravity kind of kicks in and you can have more sagging of the skin and it makes it easier to pinch and be displaced so yeah yeah he might have been just kind of getting pinched or twist a little bit and see the saltwater taffy effect happens with people mostly when they're wearing boxers which is why I wear briefs but then you know because I want to I want separation between the scrotum and the thigh and so the you know with the brief it goes right up to the the grinds and it keeps everything separate. But then if something gets jogged loose, like Scott said,

then yes, then you're entrapping some scrotal tissue between the fabric and the thigh and that. Then you've got to move the chunkle region. Yeah, you got to move. Even if, you know, if you watch the baseball, you'll see all that kind of, you know, tight underwear, really tight to keep everything in place. And then they have to move things,

then the cup gets in a way and you have to move that thing too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's fun. It looks like you're out there. You're on the cubs. being watched by millions of people and you got your hand on your pants. Yeah, hey, here's the worst. Here's the worst though. I don't know if you ever enjoyed this, but

if you're wearing a cup and you turn like can you dive head first and the cup is and they just kind of hit the wrong place. Yeah, just bloody. I wore a cup after I had my vasectomy. It was fun because I would see like, you know, I didn't

just do this in public but male friends of mine or whatever and I and I would take my fist and I would pound it into my crotch, right? You know, like I'm just pounding my dick, and it would go like that. It's pretty funny. I love it.

You can just pound it, just boom, boom, boom. I love it. That's good stuff. Yeah, it was. It was quite humorous. There you go. Now you guys know so much more. And, well, I paid myself back the next week when I had to do the sperm sample. Oh, no, sorry, different story. Yeah, that's a different story.

So they said, we want a fresh sperm sample, and I'm in this bathroom in the hospital, not realizing the fucking lock doesn't work. Oh, my. Yeah, so, oh, Dr. Steve's in there jacking off. Oh, nice. Yeah, that was fun. Not that that's any different than any other. Well, it's true, but I at least had a reason this time to actually be doing it. It's like when you say to your mom, I'm not long.

lying this time okay might be too much for him but I was wondering when men sit down to shit do they have to cup the balls and pull them forward I would think that would depend on length

wait wait a minute how do they think the anatomy works pull them forward you're not sitting down on a board to shit no you're sitting on the toilet and if you have to pull your testicle up to sit on a toilet that's going to be pretty uncomfortable and you're probably not going to sit there

for very long. Yeah, I mean, if you had the, they were really droopy or something, but yeah, no, it doesn't work that way. Just, women, just imagine your labia are hanging down a few inches and they've gotten, you know, rubbery walnuts in them. That's where they are. That's disgusting. Well, that's, you know, and then, and just imagine, you sit that down and you just sit down. And the whole of the toilet is right there, unless you're just shitting on like a, on a concrete block or something. It would be weird. I don't understand that. So no, we don't have to do any manipulation.

Of the walls? Yeah. Because some are tight and ripe, you know what I mean? Yeah, but as you get older. Truth. And they start to droop. Gravity. In any case, the splashback from a shit in the toilet?

No, that's not cool. So they're getting toilet water. Yes, that part's right. They're nuts sacks. But you're getting it. If you shit vigorously enough, and women, you have this issue, too. You get the splash back on your ass. Especially like during colon.

And on your colonoscopy prep. Oh, you're going to get some shit everywhere. Yeah. Yeah, on the underside of the seat. If there's... No, I'm not old enough. If there's shit on the underside of the toilet seat, you got it on your ass, and your junkle region.

Yep, that is true. I've said junker region too many. Do they wipe their balls with toilet paper? Like what? If you have a splashback. Happens. I don't... If you don't have somebody to clean them for you, you're kind of...

Yeah. Just get a bedet. Everybody just get a bidet. Okay, and then you don't have to worry about it. That is a freaking good question. It was a really good question. It was a good question. Yes, it was quite delightful.

Yes, I was. Come up with good questions every time. All right, do we have anything else to say about that? It reminds me of a terrible of a story of a... Go ahead. Get the microphone closer to you. An older gentleman that was in a certain therapy class and trying to help him move forward. And he was like, oh, quit, quit, quit.

he said what's the matter he got my nuts are on the back side of the bitch oh jesus we almost oh he almost ripped his nuts off almost but that's okay oh my god they're just you know low low riders yeah yeah yeah and gravity's doing its things i had um there okay there was one of them here we go with the stories this is just completely off the topic i hope it's funny but we had one of my employees at my old office had irritable bowel syndrome really bad and she was known for it right another employee of mine had a brand new um brand new SUV so they went to the Mexican restaurant and they get out and they get in the car now the one with the IBS sees one of our patients coming and he's always bumming money and wanting, you know, percocets and stuff. And he was kin to her. It was related to her.

So she starts going, oh, Linda, you better hurry up. You better hurry up. You better hurry up. Now, she's just talking about him walking up to the thing. Well, Linda thinks that it's because of her IBS. And she's like, well, I'm going as fast as I can trying to pull out backward, right? And she's going, you better hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry.

And Linda, of course, is thinking she's about to explode. And then here he comes right up to the window. And Linda still doesn't see him. And the IBS employee went, oh, well, it's too late now. Oh, no. And she just thought. And she took a giant shit in her brand new SUV. But it was just this guy.

And her bowels were actually okay. Oh, that was so funny. Well, well, you're too late now. Oh, my gosh. That's awesome. All right. Okay. Let's see. Tacey, are you ready for your little thing?

Sure. It's Tacey's Time of Topics, a time for Tacey to discuss topics of the day. Not to be confused with Topic Time with Harrison Young, which is copyrighted by Harrison Young and Area 58 Public Access. And now, here's Tacey. All right, let's take this down a notch, having too much fun. Okay. All right, what you got? Topic number one, is your heart older than you are?

Heart age is a metric to understand risk for heart disease, heart attack, and stroke. There is an online heart age calculator. Oh. Just Google it. Okay. It considers gender, age, weight, systolic blood pressure, and other health conditions. Okay. Factors that determine heart age, stress, nutrition, sleep quality, high blood pressure,

inactivity, smoking. and high cholesterol. How to make your heart younger. Stop smoking. 150 minutes of activity a week. Okay. Eat heart healthy foods. Limits salt, manage heart health conditions like diabetes,

high cholesterol and high blood pressure. Let's do yours. You want to do it? You can do my... Nobody's business, but sure. I don't give a shit. Well, but you're young. What do you want to do yours then?

You're just a baby. I am a baby, but I'm shit health-wise. Okay. Okay, let's do yours then. We'll do Chris. Okay. All right. Okay, here we go.

You ready? I'm ready. Have you had a heart attack, stroke, or do you have heart disease? No. Okay. All right. What is your sex female, I'm assuming? How old are you?

34. 34. All right. Uh-oh. Please enter a number between 35 and 75, so. So I'm going to say. Round up. 35.

35. Do you smoke? No. Good. What is your height? 55. Oh, in centimeters. Okay, hang on.

Echo, what is 5 foot 5 in centimeters? 5 feet 5 inches is 165.1 centimeters. Okay, 165. All right. Uh-oh. Okay. Never mind. We don't have to do this.

Then they're going to want to know. Yeah. What is your weight? 42. How about I just do this one? I don't give a shit what my weight is. I'm just kidding. I don't know.

Ain't nobody's business. Anybody's weight. We don't ask any women what their weight is. I didn't know. I don't care. Oh, you can do mine. It doesn't matter. Okay.

Oh, what was that? Oh, my headphones just. All right. We're good. I just suck. I'm like, fuck. Why am I here? Damn.

All right. Let's see here. Okay. Here we go. Scott, have you had heart attack or stroke or have you had heart disease? Nope. Okay. What is your sex male?

How old are you? 54. Really? Mm-hmm. And I'll look at him from age. All right. You are 54. Yes, sir.

And do you smoke? No. What is your height? 6-1. Echo, what is 6'1 inch in centimeters? Six feet one inches 185.4 centimeters 185

I'm only doing that I know this isn't like fascinating to hear us do a survey like this but just to know what's on it. What's your weight? 210 pounds damn full gristle baby all right bullshit too do you have a family history of heart

disease mother father sister brother no all right have you been diagnosed with diabetes nope all right do you take medication for blood pressure nope okay do you know your blood pressure levels yes okay usually systolic yeah one 125 okay 125 and diastolic 75 75 okay god you're gonna live forever do you know your cholesterol levels my cholesterol levels are always pretty good okay 180. Okay, total cholesterol 180? Yeah. Oh, they want

it in millimoles per liter. Oh, for F's sake. Okay, let's see if Echo can do this. Echo, what's your total cholesterol level in minimals per liter if it's 180 in American units? No chance. From

CDC.gov, persons with levels of 200 to 240 milligrams. Now, Echo, never mind. Never mind. Okay, I'm going to do yours like five, then. Sure. Make it up. Okay.

It's halfway between, in the good range. Sure. Okay. H.T.L will say is 2.5. There we go. And what's your postcode? Oh, no. It's Australian.

What's an Australian postcode? Oh, come on. Well, I didn't say the, the... How about 4-2101? We'll try that. No, it's... I didn't say the calculator would be good. It's time of...

Topics. No, I only want to see my results. Okay, here we go. Okay, give us, oh, 54. There you go. Whoopty, freaking do. You're exactly in your age, right? Is that good or bad, yeah. That's good. The average person is like seven years older, their hardest. And I'm not even trying. Nicely done. If I'd lose them, wait a Oh, did you just find that? Yes. Okay. Give thyself a bet. Oh, for fuck's sake. Oh, for fuck That's terrible. You, beginner's luck. She's a brown nose. Fuck all.

I'm never coming back here. Fucking never. Everybody says that. Yeah, well, I mean, what the fuck I say? That's like my nieces, when they were little, they were jumping off this ledge in their house onto the couch. And their mother was from England, and she said, if you don't stop that, I shall shoot you. And they just laughed and laughed and laughed. And she always says that, but she never does it.

So it's excellent parenting. So anyway, go ahead. Like good that the point was that, yeah, it was good that she never actually shot them. But anyway, all right, never mind. Okay. Next taste. I think we spent enough time on that topic. I think so, sorry, everybody.

So topic number two, feeding mice, Coca-Cola, and Pepsi increased testicular size and boosted testosterone concentrations. this study does however go against previous findings that have found harmful effects of carbonated drinks and reproductive health an earlier study found that carbonated drinks decrease ovary math in mice oh okay so carbonated drinks but this was specifically Coca-Cola and Pepsi in Pepsi yes so it's good for you that's what you're saying well it was for these mice the concentrations of serum testosterone and all mice were enhanced after treatment outcomes indicate that increased doses of the two could improve testosterone secretion of male mice. Testicle size of mice are, oh, here we go.

A hundred percent of the two increased significant compared to control group. Okay. So it was statistically significant. That's interesting. And what this illustrates is we know, listen, we know Coca-Cola probably isn't good for you, but it depends on what you're talking about. If you're talking about a diabetic, drinking soda with sugar in it, probably in the best, you know, nutritional choice.

But, yeah, if you want to boost your testosterone, apparently, if you're a mouse, then taking increased amounts of Coca-Cola is... Or Pepsi. Or Pepsi, thank you. is probably good for you. So that's interesting. So we define what's good and bad for us differently, depending on the context.

So that's illustrative of that sort of idea. And that was from a magazine or whatever called OneFL Science. Okay. Okay. The study's also on PubMed. Okay. There you go. The next topic.

Give thyself a bell. Oh, my God. God. We got to step it up. Steven. We got to step it up, Dave. We got to step it up. Somebody's sleeping on the couch tonight.

Unlike every other night. Shut up. This is from New York Post. Number three. Short, bitter people are more likely to be psychopaths. Oh, fuck, I'm a psychopath. If you don't like your height, you are more likely to present psychopathy narcissism and machiavellism traits. Napoleon complex has been scientifically proven.

They looked at 367 adults and asked to complete the dirty dozen dark triad questionnaire. What the fuck is that? It assesses levels of personality traits previously mentioned. This is true. Dirty dozen. What was the name of that? Dark triad questionnaire. Oh, here it is.

Okay. Oh, we're taking that. Oh, man. All right. Yeah, go ahead, Tase. This is true, if not satisfied with height and wish you were taller. They are shown affects confrontational and interested in power according to psychological post. So when people can't be physically formidable, they may be psychologically formative.

Competing genders, short men are more likely to be narcissistic, but gender did not impact psychopathy. That's my psychology degree right there. Yeah, you have a psychology degree and you're having a trouble with psychopathic. Or Machiavellianism. Machiavellianism. Well, Machiavellian, okay. It doesn't matter what it was. I'm not going to.

I'm not going to manisplain Machiavellian. Oh, yeah. You better not. You want to take this test? I'll take it because I'm short. Okay, all right. Are you? And mean as hell. How are you?

I tend to want others to pay special attention to me. Agree or disagree? I agree. I want special. Strongly? Who doesn't? Strongly. Okay, all right, that's strongly.

Who doesn't want to be special? I tend to expect... You know what? My psychiatrist asked me that one time, and I asked him the same thing. Who doesn't want to be special? Yeah. Who doesn't? Me neither.

Whatever. I tend to expect special favors from others. Agree or disagree. No, but I like them. I disagree. So you don't expect it. No. Okay.

All right. But I like them. Who doesn't like a special favor? I tend to manipulate others to get my way. Okay. That's not a fair question to ask a wife. Steve, quick. Next.

Next question. I tend to lack remorse. That's not true. Okay. Do you have remorse? I have a lot of remorse. You do? Okay.

Well, yeah, okay. Oh, my God. You have remorse for something that happened 21 years ago. Okay, I'll put the... I mean, I... Exactly. I tend to be cynical. Yes.

Yeah, now that is true. Okay. I tend to not be too concerned with the morality of my actions. That is false. That's false. Now, I'll give you, you're very concerned with rules and morality and stuff. Shut up, Scott. You're interested in...

Just not in here. This is different. You're interested in the morality of others. I tend to want others to admire me. No, I don't really care much about that. Okay. All right. I do.

Do you? Yes. I have used deceit or lied to get my way. Well, who hasn't? Oh, that's a yes. Okay, very good. You got a street going to taste. You are a liar, actress for the f*** out.

All right. Let's see. I tend to seek prestige. or status? No. Remember R. Jones? He used to say, I'm going to have prestige. Yeah, I remember you and somebody else saying that.

He was one of my wrestling buddies. Okay, so you're going to say neutral on that one or no on that one? No on that one. Okay, all right. Really? No, really, though? But, you know, Crescent and all that stuff, the awards. That's in sales, Steve.

That's different. That's... So you did seek prestige in that. That means more money. Okay, fair enough. I have used flattery to get my way. Well, yeah, who has that? Absolutely.

Okay. All right, I tend to be callous or insensitive. I'll answer that one for you. Okay. No, I'm just kidding. Calus, it's your opinion. I tend to be callous or insensitive. No, I do not think so.

Okay. Shut up, Krista. No, I'm speaking for myself. Oh, okay. I don't know you well enough. I tend to exploit others toward my own ends. No, I don't think so. Okay.

and oh well there you go okay so 44% okay okay so they compare you to the population average oh jesus oh shit next question oops my screen just died you better watch the fuck out my screen just died of oops yeah let's just move on let's just move on no no no okay so it's you versus the population average so narcissism 44% on this scale, the

population average is right at 44%. So I'm a little bit narcissist. But so is everybody else. You're no more than anybody else. Psychopathy or psychopathy. 31%. The average is like 25%.

Oh. And then, but, so you're just slightly above average on that. Machiavellianism, 75%. Yes. Score. How about it?

Population average of 30. If that's not a bail, you... This makes you 16.83% darker than the average person. I would agree with that. I would agree. Absolutely agree with that. Interesting. Okay.

Yeah. All right. I'm a very good. That's an interesting one. That's a good one, Tacey. Yeah, we'll do yours next time. Chris. Yeah, fuck off.

That might hurt. So, my last topic... I might be admitted somewhere. I hear... I hear... I was going to... say a good one but anyway a place that's good

but anyway insomnia brings big spikes and heart attacks oh yeah people with insomnia were 69% more likely to have a heart attack than folks without literally why she wakes me up ten times a night

this is from health day rates even higher with people with diabetes and insomnia insomnia causes cortisol release and an increase and an increase in orthosclerosis. This was published February 25th in the clinical cardiology some. I truly believe this because more MIs appear to happen early in the morning. When that cortisol rush happens, the stress hormones kind of wash in. And if you're waking up multiple

times during the night, which is really what insomnia is, it's not not sleeping. They're just you know, waking up frequently and having more awake periods. They're having more chances for that cortisol to kick in and cause heart attacks. Interesting. I'm going to die soon. Well, I know, I know. They took data, stop it, Steve. They took data from 1,200 studies.

You can fuck if I die soon. I do too, but you're a baby. 1.2 million adults. 13% had insomnia. Most did not have any history. So five or fewer hours a night Gives you the greatest risk Which means you are not fucking sleeping enough

Yeah Too much sleep It's not good either Which means I'm going to die too Six hours or less Had a lower risk than nine hour sleepers So if you I don't care

I don't care So I mean my dad dropped dead at 50 Of a massive heart attack in his sleep So Just because I'm young Doesn't mean that I'm not going to die real soon Yeah I don't fucking sleep, so...

Yeah, yeah. Sleep is very important, but it's getting the right amount. And that sounds trivial, but that's a non-trivial problem for a lot of people. And if you take hypnotics to sleep... Then you are a good girl. That increases your risk of all... That increases your risk of all-cause mortality as well. So, you know, taking lunesta or something like that for...

or Ambien or Alprazlam or something like that for a short period of time, okay, but if you take it every night, it increases your risk of all cause more time. All right, we have... And that is all the topics. Thank you. Great job, Taze. Excellent job, yes, very good. I'm sure everybody just loves this.

Can we get on to questions? Sure. So, Scott, and I can get some bells. Well, we have... It's time for fast Vaj FAC. Oh, what I got about... Everyone's favorite body part. And now here's your hostess with the mostest.

DnP Carissa. There you go. There's your bumper. Thanks. I made that five minutes before you got here. That's amazing. I mean. All right, what you got?

The Vag is amazing. Is it, though? Self-cleaning, right? I think so. It's self-cleaning. It is. It's supposed to be. It's what they say.

Unless you shove a tampon up there when you're having intercourse and then forget about it for a couple of weeks then not so self-cleaning and matter of fact pretty horrifying have you had to pull one of those out before you know multiple time in the emergency room in different places like that it's it happens a lot it's bad so late i don't know how um i can so one what happens sometimes is one gets pushed up then you put another one in after you know intercourse or whatever if you have intercourse on your period and you put one in and then you take that one out and what you remember is you put one in and you took one out so you should be fine but there's still one stuck in there i just don't understand how that happens yeah

well it's it doesn't it's not frequently i've probably you know i've been in practice 37 years but only what 17 years in primary care i probably had maybe one one a year or one every other year. I saw so many at the health department. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In like a few month period. Wow. But not, I mean, just presenting with, oh, there's a bad smell or there's whatever. And it's fucking horrifying.

You cannot, you can't ignore it. The smell is so bad. And you know that if it happens to you, you know that something just awful is happening. You pull that thing out. And did you ever put them on antibiotics or you just pull it out and let the vagina? to do its own thing? It depends. So we pulled out several and would look under the microscope. And I don't know if there's any correlation. I should look into this, but a lot of them had trick.

Oh, Trichomonas? Yeah, okay. Then that you've got to treat that. Absolutely. But otherwise now. Tell them what Trichomonas is, so that they know. No, go ahead. Oh, no, you go ahead.

Well, you were the one doing it. Well, I was, but, I mean, just because it was interesting to see under the microscope, because, I mean, they're squirming all over the place. They're multi-celled animal or thing. They're parasites. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's, oh, it's tricky. Yeah.

Yeah. I get it. So. Anyways. Okay. I haven't told you any of my fun badge bags. Those were fun. Yes, those are from Tacey.

She should probably have a bell or that. I mean, she didn't even badge. I didn't even bash itself a be. There you go. There's one for Tacey. It self cleans. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Right? Yeah. Yeah, I did. Okay. Yes. Yes, honey. Pay attention. Good job. Thanks. No, nothing. Go ahead. Next. Each vagina has its own smell. They're unique to each individual person. And it's not a flower. Is it? Well, it could be. I saw on Facebook one time, this one person said, it ain't a flower, people. It's a vagina. It's like a flower, but it's like one of those meat flowers. It doesn't smell like a flower. Well, it smells like those meat flowers. Have you ever seen those that they actually are pollinated by flies, and so they smell like rotten meat.

It's kind of like that kind of flower, right? No? Am I wrong? I don't know. I'm just asking. I mean, I've only smelled a few thousand vaginas in my life, so I don't know. I wonder if it's unique enough that you could actually identify somebody. Like if you had a sensitive enough detector that like a fingerprint, you could detect somebody by their vaginal.

Absolutely. Just like you get a whine or I would think. I mean, I would think so. I mean, they're very unique. neat to each person. We have a dog and she sniffs every woman's crotch that comes in this house.

And man's. Yeah, she's very... She's thorough. She is thorough. She's quick but thorough. She gets her sniff in and she's out. And she's like, oh, I snow. Oh, okay, that's Julie.

Okay, this one's Wendy. Oh, this one's Carissa. It's so weird. Anyway, go ahead. I love her. Each vagina is also different in size. Hmm. I mean, there's an average size,

but they are different. Really? So some of them you do a pap smear and you're like, hello, hello, hello, hello. Correct. They can range in size from like two to five inches. So, no, it's, I mean, it's just a giant. Two to five inches in depth or width?

Depth. Width is typically two to three. It is amazing that you can pass a human being through that thing. Correct. It can grow up to 200 percent. normal size even during sexual arousal. Wow. Hmm.

So. I don't care. I don't care. Well, you might. You might find that beneficial, depending on your situation. Okay. Mucous membrane, bro. Fair.

What do you do with that? Go ahead. Okay. Go ahead. Do you know what the first movie to use the word vagina on film was? Oh, God. God, no. Stage coach.

It's really, really interesting to me because it's by Disney. What? Yes, it was a Disney film in 1946 called The Story of Menstruation. Oh, wow. So one of those films we used to watch, and you guys didn't have to watch us. They'd get out the film projector, and they would show us these horrific black and white movies with people with flat top haircuts and talking about. sex and dating and menstruation and mine came on a VCR yes well you're quite a bit younger than I am but they were still yucky yeah we could maybe I bet you there's some of those things

on YouTube we should maybe do a special where we watch some of those because they're really funny now we could do it like it's so naive what is it what's that show on science now where the the aliens sit and watch old TV shows and make fun of them oh that's nice science theater 3,000, yeah. Yeah, we can do that. Yeah, we can do that with one of those. That would be funny. Do you know the pH of the vagina?

Oh, God, I used to know this because I used to have to pH strip it. Why did I pH strip the vagina back? This was in 1980-something. We were looking for something when we would do a pH strip on it. Oh, you were looking to see if it was if someone had, was leaking amniotic fluid. That's what that was. Interesting. I mean, it can also tell you if there's semen.

in their vagina or if there's infection or anything else. So tell us about that. But the average pH of a vagina is 4, which is also the same as wine. It's also the same as kombucha. And tomatoes. There you go. There you go.

Shows that our creator has a sense of humor. Also, the same bacteria that makes a healthy flora in the vagina is the same bacteria that makes yogurt. So go figure. Yeah, amniotic fluid has a pH of 7, while normal vaginal secretions have a pH of 4.5.

So, yeah, so we would put that in. If it was basic, you had an idea that they were leaking amniotic fluid or they had broken their water. So, yeah, that's a good one. Good one. Yes, gum me. I mean, I just love vaginas, so. Excellent.

Hair around the vaginal area grows only for three weeks, while the hair on the head can grow for up to seven years. Yep. I mean, that's just... That's why, well, I mean, there used to be... When I was at Tulane, there was a woman, that had her hair in a braid, and it was dragging on the ground behind her.

That's how long it was. You could imagine if it was outside of the braid. And I was wondering, you know, I didn't cut my hair for years. It never grew any longer than halfway down my back. And it all has to do with how long your follicles last, the average length of, you know, lifespan of your follicle. So if you can't grow your hair long,

it's because your follicles are dying at a rate that, you know, it just gets to so long. and then the hair falls out and then the next one and then the next one and it happens millions of times and this woman she just had these hair follicles

that just wouldn't die and you know her hair just continued to grow so it was pretty cool interesting I mean speaking of hair the pubic hair also has the mechanism of secreting

pheromones really do we believe in pheromones in humans I don't know apparently you don't if you ask that question That's true. I'm just making it. Good point.

This is a, okay, it's a radio show. Get yourself a bill. Give yourself a bill. Oh, that's the best. I'm just asking. Well, I'm just telling. I think yes. Yeah.

I do. I agree. I think it almost has to be. I think it has to be, yeah. Even if you can't measure them with our current scientific technology, I think they do exist. I've had episodes where I've had sudden magnetic attractions to, certain people that I couldn't explain. Right. Like you know them

like you've done them or something. Or they knew them or whatever, but you know, when somebody I normally would feel that way about, it almost felt like that it had to be some sort of subconscious, you know, chemical reaction like a pheromone. Interesting. You got anything else?

Sure, yeah. I'm sorry. I got sidetracked on pheromones. Well, I mean, when we were talking about penises, we talked about their other nicknames. The vaginas also have several nicknames. No. Right? No. Who knew? Um, I would be happy to tell them to you. I'm sure we're all aware of them. One is my very favorite word to use when I'm pissed off. Okay, what hell? Oh, okay, the C word? The C word. Wow, I'm not even allowed to say it. No. Wow. Um, it flies out of my mouth. I actually said it this weekend and I feel bad about it. Oh, my God, really?

Mm-hmm. I never feel bad about it. There is a, there's a road raging. Oh, you did? Oh, God, I've never even said it road raging. Julie and I were. I must be a terrible person. I mean, I just say it like it's, oh, it's so nice. We were in Myrtle Beach. You can say it all the time. It's no big deal. And people were going every, every which direction, no matter what lane they were in. And I was like, I said it. It just, it just slid out of me. It seems so right at the time. And I still feel bad.

I don't even know what Julie. Julie was probably like, oh, my God. Well, there's a whiteboard at the hospital that Chris and that we work at. And at one point, she had written every curse word she could think of. And it had, you know, F words and all kinds of, you know, S words and stuff like that. And then there was one C word written on this thing. And I just, all I said was, and it was very funny because it was just all over this giant whiteboard, right? And all I said was, if someone from administration comes up here, just take, just erase the C word.

That's all I'm asking. The rest of it is fine. And then the next day I came in, they just erased everything. So, anyway, apparently I'm an asshole. It's okay. Tomorrow's Thundercut Thursday, so. Oh, is it? Okay, well, there you go.

That's just me. All right. That's my baseline. Got anything else? I don't know. It depends. Do you want more? No, I do one more.

I mean, there are natural ways to make the vagina smell fresher without douching. Okay. Which include eliminating pubic hair, using baby wipes instead of toilet paper, and going panty-free or wearing cotton panties. I've heard that panty-free is the way to go. Honey, it is the way to go. I was thinking the same thing. I'm a bidet, though, too. You are stuck on bidet.

It's his testicles covered in, that's what's good. No, but you said instead of toilet paper, use baby wipes, but wouldn't a bidet be even better than that? Possibly. I don't know. I advocate for everyone to go without underwear. Yeah, what's underwear for, just to keep shit off of your clothes? I have no idea.

I mean, I literally never wear it. I think it's so you can. get a couple of days worth out of your bridges. Without having ass grease on... Yeah, that's what I think. But I've gone back and forth and...

Just don't wear any. It's healthy, apparently. Well, there you go. It says so. Yeah. You Googled it. I did. I mean, must be true. We have about a half a minute left. Oh, my God, and no questions. Do you know how people are going to

piss people are going to be? I know. We've got a million questions. So next show, We're doing nothing but questions. No topic time. This is why I shouldn't be back. People are going to be so upset about no topic time. No fast facts. No.

But I could talk so much about orgasms and the vagina. Well, we're going to do that. Well, we will do that next time. All right. Hang on. Or like piercings of the vagina. Excellent. Do they have names? No, but I literally thought about getting one on the way here just for funzies.

You mean you're going to stop off on the way here and get one and then? Yes. I would really like to pierce the platelets. I think it would be interesting. Well, you know, have fun with that. Hi, Dr. Steve. One question for you. So I've heard a lot about epigenetics and like passed down trauma and stuff.

Is there any scientific truth to that? Because wouldn't we all have it since we've descended from people long time ago who went through horrible tragedies all the time? Yes. And when that trauma has been passed down to us or is? Yeah, so people have always asked, well, if you take rats and you just, chop their tails off, and you keep chopping their tails off, won't they be born without tails? And the fact is no. But epigenetics, what he's talking about is you have your DNA,

but then there are other factors that are involved that can express different proteins and different traits. For example, I raised a set of monochorionic twins, which means they were genetically identical. However, one was right-handed, one was left-hand. One was artistic, the other one was mathematic. One was straight, the other one was gay. Now, it can't be nature because they had all the same DNA, but it also can't be nurture because they were raised in the same household by the same parents. So what is it?

The answer is epigenetics. And epigenetics can be lots of different factors. DNA methylation. There's these things called histones. There are other things other than the DNA that can move around and change how the DNA is transcribed and expressed

at which part of the genes get transcribed and which ones don't. And there's other things called non-coding RNA and stuff like that. So what happens is it could be stress in birth, it can be age, it could be just random bullshit.

Infections apparently can have some effect on this as well, particularly if it happens in the womb. So you can express these genes different ways, and I'm telling you that's the only way to explain what happened with those two twins, right?

So it's very interesting. They have some very similar traits, but there's some really, really wildly different stuff. And so it can't just be genetics. It can't be their environment. So it has to be epigenetics. That is a very interesting concept. So anyway, we had another question about autonomous body parts.

And we also have some questions about colonic ozone and seminal viscosity, which we will do absolutely next show. And we're going to do nothing but questions. We apologize for being a medical questionnaire show answering one question. Right. Well, we answered some questions. They just, nobody asked them. People probably didn't know that they wanted to ask questions about the vagina. That's right. We answered questions people didn't know that they wanted to know the answers. I bet that's what you'll hear on email.

Well, anyway. All right. Well, thanks goes to Dr. Scott. Tacey, DNP, Carissa. Thank you for being here. Thanks to everyone who's made this show happen over the years. Listen to our Sirius XM show on the Faction Talk channel. Serious XM Channel 103 Saturdays at 7 p.m. Eastern Sunday at 6 p.m. Eastern on demand and other times at Jim McClure's pleasure. Many thanks to our listeners whose voicemail and topic ideas make this job very easy. Go to our website at Dr. Steve.com for schedules, podcasts, and other crap. Until next time, check your stupid nuts for lumps. Quit smoking, get off your asses and get some exercise. We'll see you in one week for the next edition of Weird Medicine. Thanks, everybody. Thank you.