Weird Medicine: The Podcast - 552 - How To Clean a Foreskin (Without Really Trying)

Episode Date: May 29, 2023

Dr Steve, Tacie, and DNP Carissa discuss: alligator dreams calcium scores testosterone replacement sex hormone allergy how to clean a foreskin and more! Please visit: stuff.doctorsteve.com��(for all your online shopping needs!) ed.doctorsteve.com (for your discount on the Phoenix device for erectile dysfunction) simplyherbals.net/cbd-sinus-rinse (the best he's ever made. Seriously.) RIGHT NOW GET A NEW DISCOUNT ON THE ROADIE 3 ROBOTIC TUNER! roadie.doctorsteve.com (the greatest gift for a guitarist or bassist! The robotic tuner!) see it here: stuff.doctorsteve.com/#roadie Also don't forget: Cameo.com/weirdmedicine (Book your old pal right now while he’s still cheap! "FLUID!") Most importantly! CHECK US OUT ON PATREON!  ALL NEW CONTENT! Robert Kelly, Mark Normand, the O&A Troika, Joe DeRosa, Pete Davidson, Geno Bisconte. Stuff you will never hear on the main show ;-) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

They say one is the loneliest number, but I think it's pie. No one even knows its full name. What did the father Buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Buy son. What do you call a muddy chicken that crosses the road twice? A dirty double-crosser. If you just read the bio for Dr. Steve, host of Weird Medicine on Sirius XM103,

and made popular by two really comedy shows, Opie and Anthony and Ron and Fez, you would have thought that this guy was a bit of, you know, a clown. Why can't you give me the respect that I'm entitled to? I've got the period crushing my esophagus. I've got Subolive I'm stripping from my nose I've got the leprosy of the heartbound exacerbating my incredible wounds

I want to take my brain out and blast with the wave an ultrasonic, agographic and a pulsating shave I want a magic pill all my ailments the health equivalent of citizen cane And if I don't get it now in the tablet I think I'm doomed then I'll have to go insane

I want a requiem for my disease So I'm paging Dr. Steve From the world famous Cardiff Electric Network Studios, it's weird medicine, the first and still only uncensored medical show in the history of broadcast radio. Now a podcast. I'm Dr. Steve with my little pal, DNP, Carissa. Hello, Carissa. Hello. And my partner in all things, Tacey.

Hello, Tacey. Hello. This is a show for people who would never listen to a medical show on the radio or the internet. If you have a question, you're embarrassed to take your regular medical provider. If you can't find an answer anywhere else, give us a call at 347-76-4-332323. That's 347. Take it, Carissa. Poohead. Follow us on Twitter at Weird Medicine or at D.R. Scott WM.

Visit our website at Dr.steve.com for podcast, medical news and stuff you can buy. Most importantly, we are not your medical providers. Take everything here with a grain of salt. Don't act on anything you hear on the show without talking over with your health care provider. Please don't forget stuff.com at stuff.doctrsteve.com. You go there, you click through to Amazon, or you can go scroll down and see all kinds of things that we talk about on this show. Relief for peripheral neuropathy that's got some data behind it. The womanizer, the greatest adult toy ever created.

Also, go to ed.orgasteev.com for information on the Phoenix. It uses acoustic shockwave therapy, which costs thousands if you went to our friend Chanda, and you would have a stranger cradling your junkle region, moving this probe up and down, again, while you scream. It's the shrinkage, the shrinkage, because it would be hard not to have a creamaster reflex when somebody's grabbing your junk like that. But you could do it in your own home, and you buy it, and it's yours. It ain't cheap, but it's cheaper than doing it. at a med spa and a lot less humiliating. So check it out

at ed.com.com. It's like echo delta like erectile dysfunction. Also simply herbals.net Dr. Scott's website for the best CBD nasal spray ever. And patreon.com slash weird medicine. Tacey and I are doing content there. We're curating some

content that isn't available anymore from the really old shows, but also creating new shows. And I tried to do it live stream video thing it was okay I'm going to get better at it

I got to pay attention to it and concentrate on it but it will be good and it'll be worth it and it's completely exclusive none of this stuff is available elsewhere so check that out

patreon.com slash weird medicine and then if you want me to say fluid to your mama or basically anything else if you want me to you know I don't know do whatever you want

Just go to cameo.com slash weird medicine. It's dirt cheap. Carl was laughing at me today because it's so cheap. I just do it for fun. I mean, literally, all that money goes to ham radio. God forbid, will you make any money? Well, God forbid I spend our money on ham radio stuff. So I'm spending cameo.

God forbid I get a job. I'm spending cameo money on ham radio stuff. So our next project is moon bounce. My buddy Dale and I are going to bounce signals off the moon and talk to people, and that's where that money is going. So if you want to support that, and you want me to say something stupid, go to camio.com slash weird medicine. Okay, anything else?

No. All right, very good. Well, Dr. Scott is not here, but still check out his website at simplyerbils.net. That's simplyerbils.net. And there you go. That's about what I've got. You guys have anything? Yeah.

Do you? I had a mom swipes left thing, and I don't know where it went. So we're going to have to do that next week. Sorry, ladies. I'm not sure what happened. I could have sworn I put it in here. If I find it, we'll get to it. Tacey, you actually have stuff for us, right?

Great stuff. It's Tacey's Time of Topics. A time for Tacey to discuss Topics of the Day. Not to be confused with Topic Time with Harrison Young, which is copyrighted by Harrison Young and Area 58 Public Access. And now, here's Tacey. Hello, everyone. Hello, Tacey.

Take those socks off. Uh-oh. Scientists say wearing socks to bed is like sleeping in a toilet. What? Research from mattress next day. Oh, wearing socks to bed. Yeah, don't do that. That's gross. Shows they're dirtier than you can possibly imagine.

They swabbed socks that were worn from 7 a.m. to 11 p.m. And in half the samples, they found pseudomonas. Oh, originosa? Originosa. Really? Yes. This can cause a lot of infections and is commonly found on roaches and they're dropping. Ew.

Also, socks have more bacteria than a toilet. What? Yes. Bullshit. That is topic number one. Wow. Okay. That's a good one.

And now, let's talk a little bit about pseudomonas at Ruginosa. If you get that under your toenails, D&P Carissa, do you know what color it turns the toenail? Yellow. Well, it turns it, it's green. Yellow-ish-green. I can't give you a bell for that one. But, yeah, if you see it, a lot of times you... We do need bells.

Just don't smell it. You'll never forget it. Oh. Yeah, there are some things that we can detect with our schnauzes, aren't there? Yeah, it's like sweet. It's weird. It's like a sweet, disgusting smell. Yeah.

And then you can tell Clostridium difficile as well just by its smell. When you walk by somebody's room and they've had a code brown and there's poop everywhere, you can almost always tell if it's C-Div.

Is that what you really call it? Code brown? Yes. Okay. Okay. Makes sense. Yeah, sure. Geobli.

Another one you smell. Yeah. Never forget. Did I ever tell you, the worst most horrific death ever and it's not Fornier's gangrene

and please don't Google image Fornier's gangrene but an esophageo esophago aortic fistula so what this is is you've got the

aorta running sort of behind adjacent to the esophagus and if they have an esophageal cancer or something that eats through to the

aorta when that connection is finally made. The a order is under a lot of pressure. And what will happen is fluid will follow the path of least resistance. So now it goes up the aorta and out the patient's mouth. And they'll open their mouth and you'll see one, two, three, four, pulsatile projectile balluses of blood hit the wall across from where they are. And then that's it. Then they're done. And there's no more blood in their body. And there's nothing going. to the brain and they will die.

And it's a really gruesome, horrible way to go. It's fast. Yeah, it is fast. I was on a show, and I'm trying to remember. It wasn't Drew and Mike. I can't remember what show it was, where they were asking about what the most gruesome death was. And that was the first one.

They said, what's the second worst? And I had to say dying from Fornier's gangrene, which is a necrotizing fasciitis of the genital region and when I say necrotizing fasciate is basically flesh-eating bacteria

of the genitals and it very often leads to death because there's so much skin exposed that the body you know can't fight off the infections that occur you know that invade during that thing it's horrendous

so anyway don't Google image that do it yeah and don't Google image oral Myiasis, M-Y-I-A-S-I-S. Be sure to spell it. Telling you, so that they can not Google it, just by accident. Oral myiasis is horrendous. And whenever I'm on a show and they say, what's the grossest thing?

I'll have them Google image that. And I'll get one or two pukes out of it. It's basically maggot infestation in the mouth. But go ahead, Tase. Okay. Let me say one other thing. You said that the socks, please don't wear your socks to bed. That's crazy.

but if you the socks were worse than a toilet you know when we did the germia staffer for Howard Stern there was one guy Richard Christie who we love and my sort of contribution

to that was to tell Mamet to swab Richard Christie's ass crack and then swab his hands and we'll just see what happens and just as I thought his hands had more ecoli on it than his ass crack did so there's gross shit everywhere

I'm just nasty nasty people that's why that's how we defeated the Martians and more of the world oh spoiler alert you know HG Wells wrote at 1865 but they they couldn't handle our ass bacteria and it just ate them up because they weren't used to it

of course you would think an advanced civilization that could come here would know what microbes are but his whole point was the you know the least of us, you know, to save the world. So anyway, all right. All right. Ramp over. I'm all hyped up. I was on WAPT today and I felt like I did a really shitty job and was just a drudge and brought the show down. So I'm kind of wired and, you know, prepared to at least have control of my own show. But anyway, go ahead. I'm sure you did fun. Yeah, well, whatever. So number two.

Sorry, Carl. It's summertime. So how do you keep your tattoo looking fresh through the summer? Oh, sunscreen, I would guess. Yes, 26% of Americans have at least one, which I did not know that the percentage was that high. Can I give myself a bell for that? Am I right? That was easy.

Yeah, okay, fair. It also said that insect designs are having a moment, so people are going out and getting insects tattooed on, which... I would never do it. I'm going to do it now. Are you? Yeah. Okay, cool. Yeah, my favorite tattoo story is, of course, addidectomy Todd's story.

Yes. For people who are new listeners, we had this guy on the show, and his name was double vasectomy, Todd, because he had to have two vasectomies, because the first one had problems. And his name changed after we found what happened with his tattoos. He was so proud of this sleeve that he got, and he was getting tattooed. He's everywhere, and he got his wife to go have a tattoo with the same guy, and they followed him around. The guy had moved to St. Louis, and they would come to the tattoo. On their honeymoon, that's where they went. Yeah, well, we went, and we followed Sean to St. Louis so he could finish our tattoos, man.

And they got all these tattoos done, and he were in, apparently, in a tattoo shop here in town. And they were kind of, you know, bragging about how they followed this guy around, and they're groupies of his. and that he does tats on them when they meet up in these foreign lands and all this stuff and they said well where's the penises and Todd was like what are you talking about? And they said

no where's the penises? And he's like I don't know what you mean and they say this guy hides penises in all of his artwork and Todd looked and there were dozens of them there were just penises everywhere. It was like this it was supposed to be you know this

bioengineering kind of thing like alien or something. And there were penises, erect, vainy penises all embedded in this thing. Hers were flaccid. And then he did one on her. It was a skull, but it had a flaccid penis coming out of the top of it on her foot. So it was quite, so that's how he got the name Addidectomy, Todd. But anyway.

They said not to add ink on your fingers because it fades too fast due to all emotion and the washing and et cetera. Well, you got tattooed on your lips and it just went away. It just lasted about six months to a year. Yeah, I've done that twice. She did it twice. And both times immediately afterward, it looks like she had wax lifts on. It really does. It's fun.

So the ink on my foot faded super fast. Really? That's interesting. So, I mean, it says sun exposure and dehydration can dull your art. So add SPF to your shopping cart. Okay. Stay moisturized inside and out. By that we mean

Apply lotion every day Drink lots of water 6 to 8 full glasses And that's from the list So stay hydrated I wonder how that has anything I wonder if there's any science I don't know it's from the list

They're not exactly very A lot of weight or don't lose a lot of weight I mean it's all about stretching Yeah that makes sense Yeah I guess I'm just stuck this weight Oh no shit I mean I had planned on work

on it tomorrow but damn i'm going to get a tattoo in june so i guess i better be an ideal weight then yeah okay i'm moving on number three this is the hippie segment of the show okay excellent i love hippies okay man here's to scott i'm not part of your system man that's not the kind of Hi, if you're going to San Francisco. Okay, that's enough. If you did that during that show, you did ruin it. I did not do that. Okay.

Okay, thank you. So, um, quit melatonin and try these remedies. Okay. One. Valerian root. Capa, Kappa. Hot cup of herbal D, herbal tea. Herbal D.

Herbal D. Camamil, Valerian root. Give ourselves a bell. Magnolia? Yeah. That's what I says here. Okay. to take one to two hours before bed.

Okay. Number two, drop of lavender on the pillow or diffuse it. Okay, this aromatherapy shit's got to stop. And let me tell you why. It's lovely. Smells good. It does. But what if you were ritually abused by your grandmother when you were a kid and she had lavender all over the house?

So don't use it to go to sleep. Right, exactly. That's what I'm saying is you can't say, oh, lavender is good for relax. Because it is, if it is, but if it is, so aromatherapy, I think is very, they've got to stop saying this is good for this and this is good for that. You give people a bunch of aromas and let them try stuff. I'm all about that because the olfactory nerve is really, you know, the first one hooked up to the brain. And, you know, we evolved from mammals that used their olfactory senses. and you look at dogs and the reason they have the big giant noses

because they've got all these sensors in there. We remember smells from when we were little. If you smell something, it'll evoke images of when you were a kid and stuff. So I think aromatherapy works, but you can't categorize these. Okay, chamomile is good for energy and lavender is good for relaxation. for that reason. You've got to customize it to the patient's experience. So if you would like to contact CNET News about that, you're more than welcome to.

No, I'm just talking about people who sell aromatherapy and they're practicing medicine without a license to categorically say lavender is good for relaxation is not true. But I do think that you could find an aroma that would be good for relaxation if you customize your therapy. That's what I'm saying. Like allergy testing. You know, you take allergens, or antigens, you put them on people, you see what they're allergic to. You could do the same thing with aromas if you wanted to actually scientifically practice aromatherapy. Anyway, all right, I'll shut the fuck up. Tacey just look at me, like, you know.

You'll just continue. No, I'm not. I can't even see you. Don't take advice from some asshole on the radio. I've got my peepers on. I can't even see you. Okay, fair. Peepers.

CBD oils, gummies, or creams that can. contain almost no THC are known to promote sleep and anxiety. There you go. Get Dr. Scott's nasal spray. Go to simplyerbils.net. Seriously, the best. Promote sleep and decrease anxiety. The best nasal spray. I really think that my sleep has improved since I've been using this. Now, that's just an N of one. That's just my anecdotal thing. But Dr. Scott's got a winner with this one for me.

I wonder what Dr. Scott would say about this one, drink tart cherry juice, which can increase melatonin production. Well, it also helps kidney stones. Well, yes. What kind of kidney stones, though? There's certain... The ones in your kidneys. Okay, I'm not...

That's because you're an idiot. I'm gonna leave. Oh, you get all these bells, and I call you on one of them. I got nothing. I made kombucha out of tart cherry juice, and it's downstairs. it later. Ew. Yeah.

I tried it. What kind of kidney stone would it help? I don't know. I'm asking you. Because some kidney stones, you can prevent them by making your urine acidic, but some kidney stones, you can prevent them by making your urine basic

because the chemistry of the kidney stones is different. So I just wondered if it said what... Uric acid crystals. There you go. So it's good for... That deserves a bell, too. Yep, okay, I'll give her a bell for that. Thyself a bell.

Yeah, I'm not really against you like I am, Scott. Okay, number four, dried passion flour or extract oil not to be used if pregnant. Hmm. Really? The allery and root, passion flour, and hops all mixed together in a tea, is really good. What does that do? It's a natural muscle relaxer. Really? Oh, but I probably shouldn't advertise it that way because that's just how it works for me.

Yeah, that's fine. I'll go to the two of you Oh wait that's the wrong one Wait a minute Here you go Lord and lady Douche your bag

All right Anyway Well I mean that's what you just went on a ran about right So I just wanted to clarify Yeah you can That's how it helped me No that's different though Pharmacotherapeutics

Yes I mean You're right that if we just had If we were all the same We'd only need one pain medicine We'd only need one anti-hypertensive. Okay, okay. Okay, all right.

You guys just talk. I'm turning my mic off. Number five, are you getting enough magnesium? It's found in nuts, seed, spinach, soy milk, yogurt, and whole grains. You can lightly snack on it one to two hours before bed. A supplement of that would also work. We're not going to say anything? I got my mic off.

I'm leaving. I'm leaving this show today. Screw you guys. I'm going home. No, we're good. That's interesting. Number six. I take magnesium.

Practice yoga or meditation before bedtime? Yes. Of course, light yoga. Or a self-guided meditation app. I love it. A.K.A. Trip. TRIPP, greatest thing. Get an Oculus.

D.N.P. Carissa tried it. Robert Kelly. we've talked about that where Robert Kelly actually fell asleep in the middle of it, sitting in a chair in the middle of my kitchen. Yeah. If you've not experienced the sort of wonder that can be created in virtual reality, particularly when it comes to meditation, you've got to try it. T-R-I-P-P-com and their trip-ink on Twitter. Amazing. It's just fucking incredible.

Anyway, go ahead. I use mental tracker. Oh, mental tracker. Really? Yeah. Because you're mental. I am mental. To track your moods and all that?

And it's free. No, it's not actually a mental tracker. It's spelled M-I-N-T-A-L. Oh. But it's like guided meditation and breathing. I do it every night before bed. Yeah, cool. Oh.

Firmly believing that. Opie and Anthony made fun of me when I talked about doing yoga until they tried it. And I don't know about Anthony so much, but I know OPE was quite the proponent of yoga. And I think Jimmy as well, it is one of, that big relax at the end is the one time that I ever had an out-of-body experience in my life. And that was just a TV yoga guy, Steve Ross. So I can, you know, I should probably go to a yoga class. I think it would help me, but, you know, fuck who has time. This will also track your sleep.

Yeah. Is that right? Mint tracker does. And how much you snore or talk in your sleep or your sleep bat near risk? Probably. I mean, it picks up on my dog's barking. Okay. Well, dog, fuck.

I have one dog now. Oh, sorry. It's fine. No, my average amount of time asleep is two hours and 19 minutes. Oh, my God. There you go. That's really healthy. At a time, you mean?

No. Just at all? At night. That's what I get. Really? Oh, yeah. No, we need to. to talk about that. Yeah, that needs to be

addressed. That's a risk factor for lots of things. Death, I hope. Oh, God. And depression. Not to bring anyone down during time of topic. You beat me on the, being a drudge, but no, yeah,

we need to talk about that. Good, I'm glad I made you feel better about yourself. Thank you. My goal in life is to care about everyone else. We need to work on that. I'm aware. It's just acutely worse right now. Have you ever, of course, you're going through some stuff. Have you ever had a sleep study?

Yes. And? And? I failed. Well, you don't fail one. You, what, you, it was abnormal. It was abnormal. How many apnea hypopneas did you have per hour, do you know?

Like 18. Oh, okay. Well, that's, yeah. I think. If I remember correctly, That's been like seven years ago. Okay. So that's like one every three minutes.

Did you do anything about it? I have a CPAP that's in a box. Oh, see, I have a CPAP that I actually use. But my SAT would go to like 70 something, and my apnea spells would last for like 30 plus seconds. Oh, my, okay. You have to use your CPAP, honey. You know, these health care providers are the worst about taking care of themselves.

You just don't do it. That's fine. You do it until there's like a problem, problem, and then things change. No, but that's the problem. You won't just die. You'll become, you know, differently abled. And then, you know, so, okay, we're going to talk about this offline. You've got to take your seat back.

I was not aware of all this. Jesus. Oh, my goodness. Okay, number four. Yeah, moving on from Carissa dying. Oh, my God, can I just go now? No, please don't. No, we don't want you to die.

We love you. If you are dreaming about this animal, someone is criticizing you. This is from Mind, Body, Green. Probably a magazine that Scott reads. Yeah. This is right now, this is horse shit. But what is the animal? Oh, it goes on for a while.

Alligators relate to biting criticism and having a thick skin. If it's got big teeth and you dream about it This is probably what that means Okay What if Paris is in your backyard And your best friend from high school Bruce Donahue is skating in your kitchen On linoleum

And you wondered why How come you never figured that out before? You didn't know people could skate And Paris was in your backyard Why did you get on a plane and go to Paris When it's in your backyard, what does that mean? Exactly Well, this is about alligators

Okay. So, number one, if it attacks, you are undergoing criticism. Mm. Number two, if it is eating something, something might be consuming you in your life. Hmm. Number three, if you attack it, you're fighting back against the criticism. Okay. Number four.

If it's a baby, it connects with pregnancy or fertility. Your show is better when you had medical questions. I agree, but they make me deal. this. Number five, alligator infested waters. That dream deals with fear of criticism more than actual criticism. Number six, alligator beneath the surface. You're the black sheep and experiencing fear of anxiety or subconscious level. Okay. Number seven, if it's dead, something in your life is coming to an end. Number eight, if it's fighting with a another animal, you're having conflict

in your life. Oh, no. Number nine, if you escape an attack, you are getting out of a toxic relationship. That is the end of our time of topics. Thank goodness. I picked that one for you,

I know you did. Thank you. See, you did Opie's rule where it was kind of funny, and then it became unfunny, and you kept doing it until it became funny again. So, perfectly done. Thank you, Tacey.

It was awful. All right. Hey, I have a question that somebody mailed in that I was supposed to read several weeks ago. Hopefully it wasn't an emergency. Just as, hey pal, I recently moved to

Florida. It was looking into DNR orders. And what we mean by DNR is do not attempt resuscitation. Orders So if your heart stops, they would not do CPR. That's all it means, by the way. DNR doesn't mean do not treat. It just means if you die, don't do CPR.

Everyone should be a DNR. Well, I know DMP Carissa, you are a DNR. And she has threatened us that if she keels over at work, we are not to do CPR on her. Of course, I said I would do a vigorous chest massage to make, you know, just to see if that's all that it took. But other than that, yeah, we'll let it go. But this guy says the way I feel about the whole thing is I would like to be resuscitated if just having a heart attack. Of course, if you're having a heart attack, we will treat you, even if you have a DNR.

And I can be brought back to a reasonable state eventually. So people who are having a heart attack generally have chest pain, nausea, maybe vomiting, sweating, palpitations, shortness of breath. We would treat that. People with the DNR order, we would treat that. But then if they went into ventricular fibrillation were pulseless, we would not do chest compressions. Now, okay, let me finish this. And I have an answer in DNP, Chris. I think you and I will absolutely agree on this.

The thing I don't want is to be kept alive as a vegetable. But the Florida DNR order seems so simple that even if you were having a simple cardiac arrest. Okay, no such thing as a simple cardiac arrest. But I understand what are you saying? They're not going to try to bring you back. Is this how they work everywhere? And then he quoted the actual clause on the forum. And I'll read what it says.

I so and so, the undersigned a physician license pursuant to chapter 458 or 4. Okay. Hereby direct the withholding or withdrawing of cardiopulmonary resuscitation from this patient in the event of the patient's cardiac respiratory arrest. Okay. So

he wants them to try. But then if it doesn't go well, he doesn't want to stay on life support, which is very reasonable. So therefore, what this guy needs is... An advance directive. Myself, a bell. It's not fair to she got that bell because I don't know this stuff.

Right, no, of course. Well, yeah, that's why we... I'd take that one away. Okay, I'd take that one away. So, yes. You don't have an advanced directive? She does. I don't know what it is. Okay, so some people call them living wills.

We don't call them that. It is a medical advanced care plan. And the reason we don't call them living wills is because they're for two reasons. Number one, the attorneys think that they can do them. This is a medical document. It's not a legal document. And we can walk through all these different scenarios. If this happens, if this happens, if this happens, that this happens, the attorneys can't do that.

As a matter of fact, if we stopped calling them living wills and started adopting medical advance care plan, an attorney wouldn't go within a thousand miles of it. And when I give talks to the Bar Association, I'll always tell them, hey, you know, if you guys will stop doing living wills, I'll stop doing divorces for people. Because it's the same thing. Literally, and I know I'm going to piss off some of the attorneys, but I'd love to have one on if they disagree with me. Going to an attorney to get a living will is like going to Lane Bryant to get tires. You know, it just doesn't make sense. So I...

Unless you need bigger tires. Unless you need big old tires and then you It's Lane Bryant National I don't even know if that's like a horrible thing Okay So so he needs a medical advance care plan that says I am full code Try to do see if my heart stops do CPR

But if it doesn't go well Then the medical advance care plan kicks in and says If I'm permanently in a coma or permanently Dependent on other people or whatever you want, then I don't want to live that way. And you can terminate, you can withdraw or withhold life-sustaining treatment at that point. So that's what he needs. He needs a medical advance care plan, not a DNR because he's not DNR.

He wants to be, he wants to have CPR. Okay. I hope that, did I explain that okay, Tase? Yes. Okay. All right. All righty. Here we go.

Let's do this. Uh-oh. Hi, Dr. Steve. This is Bridget. Hey, Bridget. Oh, before we do that, number one thing, don't take advice from some asshole on the radio.

Just don't. I recently texted you about a kidney stone treatment that's advertised. Okay. And I was thinking it was BS. But, um, and you could talk about that. I don't remember what it was. But also, I went and had my calcium score done.

Good job. I'm 52 years old, a little overweight. not too bad. Okay. My score was 624. So I want to thank you for educating me about this test. I asked my doctor to order. You know what?

Thank GVAC for that, because we really started pushing that after what happened to him. DMP, Chris, you weren't listening to them, but one of our best, and I hate to say dearest friends, but he really was a dear friend. I cried more when he died than just about anybody else that's ever been in my life. And he was just the sweetest. nicest, smartest, just funny. It was everything. And there was so many circumstances. There he is up on the wall, by the way.

He's always looking. That was perfect. A beer and a guitar in his hand and him laughing. That's how I remember G-Back. But anyway, he was at just turned 50, never told me he was having any kind of symptoms whatsoever. Because we would have, for the show, sent him in to get a calcium score. and he was on the show every week. Yeah, he was on the show every week.

He drove 90 minutes to get here. And he passed away suddenly with sudden cardiac death because of a widow maker. And the widow maker is, you want to talk about what a widow maker is? A heart attack. Yeah, right. But it was the left main artery. So it was the big artery that feeds, you know, three quarters of the heart or two-thirds of the heart, was completely blocked

and if he had had a calcium score maybe they would have caught this and worked him up and stuff before he passed away I need to be with this at the age of 50 his LAD was 100% occluded yeah and that's something did so

this woman went ahead and got one and hers was 600 so thank God she had the thing done because you know a score is zero so what they do is they put you in a CT scan They literally will throw you in on this thing between the regular patients. And insurance won't pay for it, but most hospitals charge anywhere from $50 to $150 to do it. And I think it's becoming accepted enough that they are going to start.

Insurance will pay for it. But then, of course, they'll jack up the price. But you know how it has, Jesus. But a score of zero means no calcium is seen in the heart. That suggests low chance of developing a heart attack in the future. That was my score when I first did it. They were testing them and I said, do me. And it was zero.

And then a score of 100 to 300 means moderate plaque deposits. Mine was 250 the second time I did it. It was associated with a relatively high risk of hurt attack over the next three to five years. So what they do is they put you on medication at that point. And I'm on a statin. And next time I go in, they'll do another one to see where we're at. Were you not on a statin before him? No, no, no, no.

All right. And then a score greater than 300, which hers was 600, is a sign of very high risk. So what her primary care needs to do now is send her to a cardiologist to work her up. There's lots of stuff that they can do. There could be a stress test to see if she's got any kind of blockages already. Heck, you know, depending on how aggressive they are, and we don't know anything else about her history. they may go straight to cardiac catheterization and just see where we're at, because that's the gold standard. So now, this scan should not be used as a single predictor of your overall health and risk of heart disease.

Most of the time you do these things because you already have at least one risk factor. Diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, family history, any of those things. Now tell me, if you have those things, but they're well controlled. Yes. What does that do? As far as your chances. It's all about mitigating risk, right? So there is a thing called a Framingham cardiac risk calculator.

If you know your cholesterol and your blood pressure, you can go in and do that. And we've done it on the show before. It will tell you what your risk is compared to the average. My risk right now is lower than average according to the Framingham risk calculator. So at people my age, because I'm old as fuck, have a risk of about, 10% average. I think mine was like four because we got my cholesterol and my blood pressure under control. And I was all with that guy. I had abnormally low cholesterol and freakishly low blood pressure to the point where sometimes they wouldn't take my blood if I was donating blood because it

was too low. And then all of a sudden one day I went in, my cholesterol's elevated and I've got this stupid calcium score and I've got high blood pressure it's like what in the hell happened but it's all about mitigating risk so you do the best you can to change your lifestyle get more exercise

that's funny I'm just thinking about myself honey not you no I was thinking about me and because it's all about me and I need to increase my exercise and start at least fucking walking

You know, when we were on vacation, I walked every day, and I felt good. So, need to do that stuff. Doug Island. Yeah. Doug loved it over there. Oh, did you go? Yeah. D&P. Carissa finally moved to our town, and she's discovering all the wonders of our town, including the smell. But anyway, all right.

You live right in the center of it. Yeah, I like where we live. But anyway, please get that checked out. Don't dick around. Women. have, you may have a percentile score that was designed for women as well. Women tend to have less heart attacks than men. And that's exactly, I mean, you see commercials all the time.

You don't think of women having heart attacks. But they do. But they do. They do. And when they do, it sucks, mainly because their doctors were going, ah, women never have heart attacks and just blew off their risk factors. That happens to. And then when they come in, they have a, you know, the big one.

Yeah. My aunt had one. She was throwing up. She had presented with all kinds of signs, and they were just like, oh, it's just a flu. Stomach flu. Yeah. Oh, is that right? Yeah, the first time.

I don't think I knew that. The first heart attack she had. We had a guy once when I was at University of North Carolina Chapel Hill who died because he complained that he had sore throat. And what he was really saying was, I'm. but didn't articulate it. I'm having chest pain radiating to my left neck. And he said, yeah, I've got this sore throat. And they put him over on the ambulatory side thinking he'd just had strep or something

or a viral infection. So I have to be, not everybody presents as a textbook, you know, an example of whatever it is that they're actually have. They did that to me when I had anaphylaxis in the ER. Oh, yeah. Talk about that. They, um. Tell people what anaphylaxis is. please

an allergic reaction it's a severe allergic reaction that is life-threatening right yeah it closes your airways go ahead true okay um the first anaphylactic reaction I ever had I presented to the ER after having anaphylaxis while driving down the road

pulled over stabbed myself with an epipin why did you have the epipen because I had developed what we didn't know yet allergies to everything and I had presented to an allergist with hives. I kept getting hives everywhere. And they said you're at risk for having anaphylaxia. And so I had an EpiPen. Anyways, I used it that day. My throat was closing up. I couldn't breathe. And EMS was there and they were like, you should

go to the hospital to get checked out. So I refused to get in the ambulance and I drove myself to the hospital. And in the ER, they put me in the ambulatory side because they said I was having a panic attack. Oh. And... Why would they think that? Because you had a high heart rate and you were hyperventilating? I'm assuming.

And, well, by the time I got to the ER, the epi was working. So I was fine, you know, like symptomatically other than elevated heart rate. Yeah, epinephrine is adrenaline, so it causes a stress reaction. Yeah. So thankfully they were busy because four hours later, I had refractory anaphylaxis in the emergency room where my face, tongue, lips, throat started swelling. You could see the outline of my lungs on my back.

What? Of just redness and hives, head to dough. My heart rate shot through the roof. My blood pressure went in the toilet. And you had angioedema, which is the swelling of the, you know, upper airway and stuff so in the lips so they could at least see something this time they had to give me epi again um oh my god and then proceeded to admit me to the hospital and i was going to be put on an epi drip and be h2 blockers yeah steroids and an anticholinergic would be thrown in there

sometimes too good lord had all these things thankfully i had all these things thankfully i have I had no more episodes, so I didn't have to be on a ventilator or have an epi-drip because I refused. Oh, Jesus. And I freaked a nurse practitioner out that admitted me. Well, that's because you're an idiot. Yeah, yes. So that was my first time in the hospital with anaphylaxis. Oh, there was more than one.

All right. Well, tell us about time number two. Oh, Lord. Time number two is on Thanksgiving. Oh. And they're like, oh, it's all about charisma. Right. Drawing attention to herself. Always. And I went in.

My sister would just scream, you all suck and stormed downstairs and slam the door. Well, well, I wasn't even with anyone. I was just alone on Thanksgiving and I caught the money that's the wrong music I don't know that is not the right music You are one pathetic loser

I am That's not the right music either Okay so let's continue You're not a pathetic loser I am And I ate something Had diarrhea Hives

Then I had trouble breathing, so I gave myself epi. I went to the hospital in case it was going to have refractory again because that's how it had happened every other time. And in the emergency room, my lungs did the same crazy shit where this literally, I have pictures of it. It's crazy. You can just see every bit of my lungs outlined on my back with red hives. And I got treated with epi steroids, same thing. the same thing, but I didn't stay that time. I went back home.

Now, you eventually found out what caused this, right? I did. Do you want a dish on that at all? Yeah, I mean, it's weird as hell. So I had been taking artificial hormones with birth control since I was 12 and had always been on high dose. Hmm. Estrogen.

Estrogen. Birth control. So anyways, so this was like six, seven years ago now. Yeah. I just started being allergic to everything. Everything I put in my mouth, I would have hives or some sort of reaction to. Well, I first met you, you were carrying around food with you and little tiny Tupperware things. Yeah, it progressed to anaphylaxis every time I would eat something.

And this is items I've ate my whole life. And so I would go to the allergium. They would skin test me. I would react to everything. I had to keep everything out of my diet. And when I say everything, I mean, like, I was allergic to garlic, onion, pineapple, no. Every fruit, wheat, gluten, everything caused anaphylaxis. So, yeah, I carried food around with me everywhere.

And then one day, we had went through everything. Nothing had changed. My doctor was like, I've seen this once in my career. Do you know the name of it? Because I do. It's not really any of what you had. No, I don't anymore. All right.

It's just a sex hormone allergy. Well. It's, yeah, so go ahead. We decided just to take away my birth control and see what happened, took it away, slowly retested, and the retesting took like a year because I had 27 allergies at that point to food and ingredients and did oral food challenges. And after the birth control was out of my system, I was no longer allergic to anything. Yeah, it's crazy. That is nuts. Now all my epipens are expired.

That gives you faith in me, too. We don't have any good ones here either. We used to. We have any issues, though. We need some new ones. Yeah, sex hormone allergy in severe cases can lead to anaphylaxis. Case studies show that patients suffered from unexplained anaphylactic reactions for years before being adequately diagnosed with sex hormone allergy.

Wow. So if there are any clinicians out there, keep that one in the back of your mind. You see a woman of childbearing potentials show up all of a sudden having anaphylaxis out of the blue. Yeah. Because that is not normal. No. I mean, you know. And mine was always delayed anaphylaxis. So it would be an hour plus after ingestion that I would have anaphylaxis.

That's interesting. So I wonder, it almost was like it had to hit the duodenum or the Ilium or the juudanum or some part of your small bowel before it was triggered. Yep. So there's some receptor there. Yeah. Golly. It was terrifying. That's really difficult.

Yes, of course. And then afterwards I had freaking panic attacks forever and was afraid to even just live or eat anything. Now I don't have that problem. Yeah. Quite the opposite. You brought us some cheesecake. We're going to try later. I did.

It's an Italian cheesecake. It has cream cheese, ricotta, and masquipone in it. If they ever bring back a great American baking show, Carissa needs to be on there because he's quite talented with decorating and making unusual things. Oh, well, this one's not pretty. I'm also sorry I didn't mean to talk about myself. No, no, no, no. No, very interesting and very insomintuitive.

We're going to kill time. Oh, okay, good. I'm glad. It wasn't just actual wanting to hear about it. I thought it was crazy. Literally. I could talk about it forever because it's fucking traumatic. It sounds it.

Yeah. Well, we're glad you're better. Me too. Me too. Does that explain my... C-PAP machine. Yeah, now we got... Yeah, see, you go through all this shit and then you won't wear your C-P,

but what's your cholesterol? Okay. You really want to know? 302. Come on. God damn. I'm just kidding. The last time it was down to 265.

Oh, yeah. I think we did actually did your Framingham score. We tried. You're female and you're young. You still had low risk, but that won't last forever. And we need to get that. And we had to lie about my age because I'm not old enough to do it. Yeah, right.

That's true. That's true as well. All right. Let's see here. How about one on four skin care? Tacey, you're an expert on this. I am. I feel like it.

Not because of me, because I have no foreskin. And as GVAC always was want to do and get me in trouble with the intactivist. Well, I was a certified nurse assistant. That's right. Because I didn't know what the hell I wanted to do after college. So I did home health. Indeed. And I did it for a couple of years and worked in a nursing home.

I was a CNA for four years. And she cleaned penises and stuff. Both of you, okay, so both of you will be able to answer this. Smigma. I hear it in your voice. What's that? We need to do a little bit of retro. Oh, wait.

All right, I hear it in your voice. What? We need to do a little bit of retro work here because we've kind of lost her way slightly, just a little bit. Let's go back to your favorite subject. Okay. Is that Stacy? Well, his voice sounds different. Those of us that have a Roman war helmet.

Okay. What is the maintenance and care for those of us that have a one-eyed snake with a turtleneck sweater? Oh, God. Other than, you know, the most basics, you know, how important it is to make sure that you clean the poor guy and not too briskly and everything else. Yeah. Okay, Taze. Okay, it's very important. Make sure you pull it back down.

Yes, you've got to pull it down and you've got to get it all or it can get stuck and it can hurt. And I took care of plenty of old. people in my time who could not clean themselves not to start anything Steve but they were not of the ability to clean themselves and so I had to do it and it would hurt them

what are we going to start no you were taking care of these people with with the I don't know what you call them the the intactivist oh I see I see what you're saying I mean you know it's just for me it's do you know what it's called when

And foreskin gets stuck to the head of the penis. There's a name for it. Paraphymosis. Oh. Hey, I am too smart. Oh, well, that is very interesting. Please tell me more. I'm hitting the wrong drops anyway.

Give thyself a bell. Kicking my ass over there. It's just because I know about dicks. It's fine. So it was just really... She's a good egg. It was just really awful to see. And I had one man that I cleaned for

for a couple of years, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I'm going to clean you real good. And every time I do it, he goes, well, I ain't dirtied it up in a while. And that was his joke. And I heard that joke. I'm going to remember that?

Every time, for three times a week, for a couple of years until he died. I ain't dirtied up in a while. He was a sweet little filler. Now, one thing is, if you retract the foreskin, make sure you put a bag. Because there have been nursing home, incidents where men had foreskins and also a catheter and then someone had retracted their foreskin

to clean it and then left it there and if it was tight it can actually sluff off I can see that it's awful yeah it's easy it would be very easy to do you would sluff off the end of the person's penis or at least cause a severe form of infection of the glands which I'm not going to give you a bell for, but you know the name of that? Smagma. No. Balinitis. Balinitis. Balinitis is when you get inflammation

or infection of the head of the penis. You don't want that. So if you retract it, put it back. You have maybe 30 seconds. What's the best protocol for cleaning the forest? I mean, it's been I don't know, 30 years since I've done it,

Steve, it's been a long time. Oh, it's like riding a damn bicycle taste. Chris, I would know, but I know you pull it back and I would just wash I don't remember. I mean, soap and water. Yeah, you can use creams if

their foreskin needs to be stretchier. I never had that that I remember. Yeah, there are estrogen cream. Sometimes they can be like too tight. They have to be, I never had that. And that would be called fymosis, and if it's not severe, you can use estrogen cream to stretch it out

a little bit. Well, we apologize for this show today. Why? I thought of it. was fine okay what are you talking about so uh carissa you so are you going to commit to using your CPAP now no she's looking yes okay that is a lie um you don't know tacey has a portable one mm-hmm from when i traveled all the time and when she goes on vacation she takes it with her it's a describe it it's weird it doesn't use a um doesn't need a water reservoir because it uses

the humidity in your breath and it traps it or something shit. Yeah, and so I use it mostly because I don't want to be in a room with a bunch of people and keep them awake. And you're being the snoring one. Yeah, and so that's why I use it.

So I'll use it Friday night when I go see Lizzo. So Jill can sleep, which I have nothing to wear. But anyway, that's a different story. Come to my closet

Yeah we need to dress you up for Lizzo Honey I have all kinds of things I have clothes by Lizzo You have clothes by Lizzo? I do Isn't that like Though like going to a disturbed concert With a disturbed t-shirt on

It doesn't have her face on it It's sexy clothes Okay You would never know it was like that Will you dress up for Lizzo Will you let us dress you for that? My bra is made by Lizzo That's besides the point

My bra is made by Lane Bryant Did you get some tires from here there? Baggins. Some baggins. And if you've never bought your bras at Lane Bryant and you are a little bit bigger, good place. Well, okay. Tacey endorses Lane Bryant for bras. I do. I do as well. Okay.

Okay. I've never actually set foot at Lane Bryant. Except, oh, you know what I did one time? I had a friend, and I thought Lane Bryant was just. just like a fancy clothing store. Oh, no. And I bought her a gift certificate for Lane Bryant. And I guess I was making a statement I didn't realize I was making. So I just thought it was fancy clothes.

I had no idea. You walk in there. It's just clothes. You don't see it's for Biggins. Well, it's not Biggins. I mean, like, it's just, you know. You just called us Biggins. No, I said, no.

I mean, okay. So, like, there's a place between that large and extra large. There's a place between the misses and the women's and there's no place to go for that. And Lane Bryant is an excellent

place to go for that. Well, good. All right. And most women, I think, fit in that subsection. Sure. I mean, we're not all size six is running around. We wish we were, but we're not.

Do we wish, though? Do you want to wear leggings? Why would you wish that, though? I think it's okay. You know I wear leggings. These are Lizzo leggings that I have. I don't know that I would. That's a lot.

Oh, my God. Okay, no, you have to wear that. Okay, we're going to dress Tacey up. We'll post pictures on our Patreon. And let's do one more question then we'll get out of. Okay, one more. Quick one. All right, all right.

Hey, my name is Greg. My number is three years. I wanted to talk to you on the air. and I wanted to ask you about testosterone, which I started injecting from the doctor, and I'm 62 years old. I'm a bodybuilder, and I wanted to see what you thought of it. You know, I think it's great. If your testosterone is low, then absolutely replacing it with testosterone is okay. It's called hormone replacement therapy.

As long as that's the only... That's right, with the key word being replacement, not... addition right not not increasing your additional to what you're getting at the gym there are there problems with it with that but uh hormone replacement therapy is fine i think i'm going to switch to getting injections and just see if it makes any difference because i've been on the gel for so long that um you know i just my testosterone's normal but we had that doctor on the show you weren't on back then tasty but uh they had a he argued that you need that up and down up and down really I mean, I argued that the testicles don't, that's not how they make testosterone.

It's pretty constant. But he said it makes a big difference. So I'm going to try switching. I'll shoot you in your ace. All right. Well, thank you. That sounds delightful. It sounds delightful.

So we'll give that a try. But yeah, hormone replacement therapy is fine. If you're replacing, it doesn't increase your risk for many things. However, if you have prostate cancer or develop prostate cancer later, It's like throwing kerosene on it. So, you know, you want to get your prostate checked. You're my age. So that's important to do.

The digital prostate exam is kind of going away. And the data now is showing that it's too insensitive, too many false positive. So, you know, the PSA test isn't great either, but they're kind of going to that and doing less and less rectal exams. So I thought that was kind of interesting. We used to really push the digital rectal exam. When I say digital, it's not computerized. It's your digit. It's your first digit.

What do you think about that for women? You know how they do that sometimes? And I'm getting of that age where they, I'm afraid somebody's going to stick something up my, listen, I've had enough at my butt here lately. Here's the reason that you do a bim manual recto vaginal exam is you've got when you're normal pap smear, you're sticking. And then after you're done, you want to do a bimal exam. exam, which means you've got two fingers inside, pushing up on the cervix. In the anus? No, no, no.

In the vagina. And then you're taking your other hand, your non-dopinant hand, and holding it on the skin. And what you're trying to do is push up enough so that you can feel the uterus and see if it's normal size. Then go to the right, try to feel the ovary. Go to the left. Try to feel the ovary. And then the last thing you do is you've got two fingers in the vagina, one in the rectum.

You better warn the woman that you're effing doing this. No, why? Okay, I'll tell you why. When I was an intern, we followed the protocol and did that and found a huge rectal tumor on a lady that was adjacent to her rectum. We never would have found it otherwise and caught it early enough that she could have treatment. Would you catch that during a colonoscopy? Not necessarily. Oh, for fuck's sake.

So you got to do that? If it was outside. Well, not everybody does it, but I think it's part of a complete engagement. exam because you're there. And when you've got your fingers between the rectum and the vagina, and then you can feel to the left and the right, you can feel tumors that are adjacent to the rectum at that point. So I think it's worth doing. I don't know if the OBGYNs are still doing them or not. But I'm just telling you, I've not had one done in a long time. I was a third year medical. And the other thing that you can do is test for blood. And if you do, see, you've already

had a colonoscopy. But now these days, because of Obamacare, it's one of the real positive things with Obamacare, to be honest with you, was that if you have any reason to screen for colon cancer, then they will pay for it. Your insurance must pay for it. And if you have blood, then they go, oh, you need a colonoscopy. You can get one done really quickly. So, you know, but screening tests are paid for these days by almost all insurances. I don't know any that can kind of get out of it. So worth doing, yes. I still think it's worth doing. It's part of a complete exam. I don't know if the OBGYNs are doing it. Maybe if we have some listening they can tell us. I mean, I had my last pap smear recently and no. No. No for me too, but I just keep

waiting on it with the big five-o getting ready to happen. You guys are at lower risk, but once you hit 50, then I think it's definitely worth doing. I can't imagine her doing that too. Enough with it. It's just a part of your body. Just do it to yourself and get used to it. Yeah, I'll do it to you. Carissa can do it. We'll do it on the show. We'll do it on the show. Okay. We'll get stirrups.

I'll do you and you can do me. There you go. Okay. All right. I'm already getting kind of worked up. Oh, good. All right. Well, listen, thank you to DNP, Carissa.

Thanks to Tacey. Thanks to everyone who's made this show happen over the years and listen to our Sirius XM show on the Faction Talk channel, SiriusXM, Channel 103, Saturdays at 7 p.m. Eastern Sunday at 6 p.m. Eastern on demand at other times at Jim McClure's pleasure. Many thanks to our listeners whose voicemail and topic ideas make this job very easy. Go to our website

at Dr. Steve.com for schedules, podcasts, and other crap. Until next time, check your stupid nuts for lumps. Quit smoking, get off your asses and get some exercise. We'll see you in one week for the next edition of Weird Nuts. Thanks a week. Goodbye, everyone. Thank you.