Weird Medicine: The Podcast - 575 - The Right Way to Get Arrested

Episode Date: January 25, 2024

Dr Steve Dr Scott and Tacie discuss: big BM --> prostate fluid the most delightful drunk criminal in the universe pigeon rump cure a man inhaled his dentures - 13 years ago a woman ate slugs ancient European bladder stones spontaneous human combustion calcium blocker overdose rectal fissures in the setting of constipation (OW!) Please visit: stuff.doctorsteve.com (for all your online shopping needs!) simplyherbals.net/cbd-sinus-rinse (the best he's ever made. Seriously.) tweakedaudio.com (use offer code "FLUID" for 33% off!) RIGHT NOW GET A NEW DISCOUNT ON THE ROADIE 3 ROBOTIC TUNER! roadie.doctorsteve.com (the greatest gift for a guitarist or bassist! The robotic tuner!) see it here: stuff.doctorsteve.com/#roadie Also don't forget: Cameo.com/weirdmedicine (Book your old pal right now because he's cheap! "FLUID!") Most importantly! CHECK US OUT ON PATREON!  ALL NEW CONTENT! Robert Kelly, Mark Normand, the O&A Troika, Joe DeRosa, Pete Davidson, Geno Bisconte. Stuff you will never hear on the main show ;-) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You see? You see? You see? Your stupid minds. Stupid. Stupid. Ha ha! You get nothing. You lose. Good day, sir. Man, you are one pathetic loser. If you just read the bio for Dr. Steve, host of Weird Medicine on Sirius XM103, and made popular by two really comedy shows, Opie and Anthony and Ron and Fez, you would have thought that this guy was a bit of, you know, a clown. That you give me the respect that I'm entitled to!

I've got diphtheria crushing my esophagus. I've got Ebola, I'm stripping from my nose. I've got the leprosy of the heartbound, exacerbating my impetable woes. I want to take my brain out and blast with the wave, an ultrasonic, ecographic, and a pulsating shave. I want a magic pill.

All my ailments, the health equivalent of citizen cane. And if I don't get it now in the tablet, I think I'm doomed, then I'll have to go insane. I want a requiem for my disease. So I'm paging Dr. Steve. Dr. Steve. From the world famous Cardiff Electric Network Studios. In beautiful downtown Beddabler City, home of radish dip.

It's weird medicine, the first and still only uncensored medical show and the history of broadcast radio now a podcast. I'm Dr. Steve with my little pal, Dr. Scott, the traditional child. Chinese medicine provider. It gives me street cred with the wacko alternative medicine assholes. Hello, Dr. Scott. Hey, Dr. Steve. And my partner in all things, Tacey.

Hello, Tasey. Hello. This is a show for people who never listened to a medical show on the radio or the internet. If you have a question, you're embarrassed to take to your regular medical provider. If you can't find an answer anywhere else, give us a call at 34776-4323. That's 347. Poohhead. Follow us on Twitter at Weird Medicine or at D.R. Scott W.M.

Visit our website at Dr. Steve.com. for podcasts, medical news, and stuff to you go by. We're also doing a little bit more on Instagram. Check that out at Weird Medicine. Most importantly, we are not your medical providers. Take everything you hear with a grain of salt. Don't act on anything you hear on this show without talking it over with your health care provider. Please don't forget stuff.

Dot, Dr. Steve.com. Tiz the season to do your holiday shopping online. So go to stuff. Dottersteve.com. S-T-U-F-F. dot dr steve.com you could just click straight through you can go down and look at the rowdy

tuner robotic tumor tumor robotic tumor robotic tutor Jesus it's not that either but they do have a guitar tutor though at the robotic tuner

site at rowdy dot dr steve.com or you can just go to as I said dr steve.com and scroll down great gift for anyone who either wants to learn to play a string instrument or who already has one. And then tweakeda audio.com, offer code fluid. No clue if we are still getting anything from that, but I know the link still or the code

still works. Use offer code fluid. You get 33% off your order of the best earbuds for the price on the internet. And they are a Franklin, Tennessee company. We should go visit them. Yeah. And Patreon is active again. So we had a lot going on and weren't.

paying as much attention to the Patreon site as we should have but just did a live stream there last night and answered live questions from patrons and stuff. It's fun. If you ask a question there, it will be answered 100% of the time. Check it out

patreon.com slash weird medicine and also having a blast doing cameos. I'm back to five bucks because we attain that weird gold status and I appreciate everyone that got a cameo that got us to gold status.

I still don't know what it is. No clue what gold status is. But you are that. It's still fun to do. Yeah, but we are that. Camio.com slash weird medicine. I'll basically say anything. Fluid to you, Mama.

I did one for a guy, and it was a person named Smitty, and he'd been a fan of the show forever, and I just took him on a tour of the studio and showed him my favorite pictures of, you know, people I got autographs with and stuff and showed them the ham radio crap. And it's just, you know, I try to have fun with it.

Even Myrtle got in on that one. Oh, good. Because everybody loves her. Well, she's a good, and I'll tell you that. She's a nightmare. You ought to get old Myrtle to do one of them, Camys for you. She's hit on her porch.

and talk about possum, gray savages. That's a nap time. A little swamp water and a little crust of bread. You don't need nothing else. That's a good eating. I'll tell you that. All right. Anyway.

So check that out. Cameo.com slash weird medicine. Check out Dr. Scott's website at simplyerbils.net. That's simplyerbils.net. Did you notice that I placed an order for CBD nasal spray? Yeah, I did. I saw all the. An order for three and?

Did you bring it? No. I mean, you can ship it to me. It's fine, but I got used to the last couple of times I ordered it. You just brought it to me. Special delivery for Dr. Steve and I kind of dropped the CDD bottle. I'm actually out, so I'm looking forward to getting that. Jones and for it.

I'm not really Jonzing for it. But it is a part of my. nighttime routine, aka my ablutions, which is a word no one uses anymore. No, I don't even think of it. For a good reason. Yeah, let's get, for a good reason.

Yeah, Tacey and I have this running argument. She thinks that the language should just evolve any old way it wants to, and I think that the reason Webster made a dictionary was to keep heresy from creeping into the language. That's why you have organized

religion, right? It is to keep heretical views from creeping in, just sort of taking over as things more. And God forbid you say, ah, when you should say me or vice versa. Fun to watch TV with. Big fun. Well, it's just reality TV because people are dumb and they're on there and they'll say, oh, yeah, Becca and I's relationship. It's like, oh, that goes all over me. No, me too.

It kills me. Hey, my grandmother used to write me letters. Or me and Scott do X, Y, and Z. That one drives me crazy, too. There's reasons why they're rules, and it's because if you don't do the rules, you sound dumb. Like that, yeah. But, yeah, but I've been like that forever,

because my grandmother used to literally write me letters, and then I'd write her letter back, and then she'd highlight, she'd read, she'd correct my grammar and mill it back. And then she'd mail it back to me. That's hilarious. She would correct my grammar and mill it back. So I always had, like, PTSD every time I saw these reds.

marks all my layers. I'm like, damn, what I do this time. I know. Well, I had a, I have a journalism minor. Yes, sir. So it's hard to get that out of your head. And then I had a teacher, his name was Tex Wood, when I was at, in school as a kid. And he was extremely strict about certain things. And if you said a person that, instead of a person who, you would get an F. and I wrote a paper about Moby Dick, and we had to use certain words, so prelapsarian was one of them. I had to use the word prelapsarian in there. And if you did, he would circle that and give you extra points. And so he was kind of easy to work, but the first sentence was Moby Dick is about, you know, a ship's captain that, and he marked it.

First sentence, marked it out and put it. F and just gave it back to me. But I never made that fucking mistake. Oh, I love it. I love it. Yeah. Old Tex wood. I was like that.

You've still got PTSD for a bad? I do a little bit. But I learned a lot from him, though. Oh, yeah. You never did it twice. He was the soccer coach, and he would put me in, and he knew I smoked. And he would put me in his, like, right wing. And I'd be holding up my hand to be taken out of the game, and he would just ignore me.

I'd be dying out there I love it fucking text boy oh my gosh all right I do we had a question

from the fluid family from Johnny Longfeather and so we should get that one under our belt let's do it you want to bring it to us

I'll bring it to the table so I have a question about prosthetic fluid that comes out when I poop yes absolutely so first thing question. Number one thing. Don't take advice from some asshole on the radio.

So that was really one of the first questions we ever answered. And it was not even on the show. It was the first day that we went to Sirius XM and they called me in to sit in with Opie and Anthony. I had no idea they were going to do that. I wasn't prepared for anything. They just said, yeah, next break, Dr. Steve's going to come in. And it's like, what? I just thought I was going to sit on the bleach. all day. And one of the first things that they had people call in medical questions, somebody called in this exact question that when he moves his bowels, prosthetic fluid comes out. So it's not an ejaculation because I attribute that or I associate that with an orgasm. This is purely fluid dynamics. So this person has large, hard, American,

stools, and has prostate congestion. So remember, the back part of the prostate is the front part of the rectum. And so when you take a big, giant American turd and you pass it by a slightly enlarged prostate, maybe it hasn't been emptied out recently, if you know what I mean. It could be that,

or he could have been recently stimulated in a sexual way and did not complete the transaction, which we would then call blue balls, but it's prostatic congestion. And fluid dynamics dictates that fluid will follow the path of least resistance. So when you pass that turd pass there, it does a prostatic massage. The fluid pressure builds up in the prostate, and it's got to go somewhere, so it goes out the end of the penis.

We will induce this in the physician's office or provider's office, particularly if someone is complaining of maybe prostititis. And you can bend them over and lube them up and stick your finger in. Should we have some music for this? There we go. Now it's better. You stick your finger in their rectum. and you find the prostate. And if they're bending over,

then the prostate will be parallel to the floor, right? So it'll be on the downside of that rectum. And you feel sort of this rubbery walnut thing, but when it's really infected or if it's got prostateic congestion, it'll be boggy and it will be soft. So basically, you just, I can't get rid of that music. You massage down the right side, then down the left side, and then you sort of crook your finger and come right down the midline, and all of a sudden fluid will come out of the urethra out of the urethral meatus, aka the cockhole.

Now, if you don't warn them about that, they're going to be cussing you. So you've got to say, I'm going to express fluid from your prostate. Give them a slide or a petri dish and hold it under the urethromeda so that they're prepared for it because there's nothing worse than somebody thinking, oh, well, that doctor made me ejaculate. You know, what kind of a weirdo are they? You've got to tell you got to explain this stuff to them. So the medical students out there don't do this stuff without explaining. Tell them what you're doing first. Yes.

So they know what to expect. Papp smears, everything. Always say, I'm getting ready to touch you. I'm getting ready to, you know, you just say what you're doing, particularly if they can't see you. So I say, yes, basically they've got their back to you. They've got their back to you. You've got to give them some warning. So anyway, so, and then you can look at it under the microscope or whatever.

And if there's white blood cells in there, you've made the diagnosis, so you can treat them. You do whatever. So this person is doing sort of that themselves. They're doing a prosthetic massage just with fecal matter rather than with, you know, a provider's finger. their asthma. So that's what that is. If it's happening a lot, even though you're keeping the pipes cleaned out, then I would, yeah, just get your prostate checked by somebody. Next time you're in there, I don't think if you're not having any other symptoms, it's not a big emergency. But it is not an orgasm. It is not an ejaculation. It is purely fluid.

And it is not uncommon. Yeah, not uncommon. That's right. So since we're talking about penises and prostrates and stuff. I have a new drop that I'll be using from time to time on this show. And I found this. This was actually on the creep-off subreddit. So if people don't know what the creep-off is, it's Carl and Vinny. They're the hosts, and it is a comedy, true crime show actually for men, or that men will enjoy because all other true crime shows are.

for Tacey. Am I wrong? I mean, they're mostly for girls. I mean, I don't listen to a lot of podcasts. I'm going to have to find one for a trip I'm coming, going on soon. Yeah, well, okay. So I'll need your help with that. Oh, yeah.

Well, Tuki soup, be dabbling live. I'm not sure. Maybe I don't need your help with that. You might have to tag it on your own taste. But, yeah, so this is one. Well, the creep off is a good one, taste. And I was on, if you ever want to go back and listen to one that your old pal was on, it's called Concrete Enema. And it was, I did it before I knew how to interface with another show where the audio was right.

And so I had this production where I had Dave, David C. Roberson from DC on screen read this story about the story about this serial killer in his sort of Joker voice and I had music and everything but the system stripped all the music out so it sounds kind of dumb but David did a great job and check that out if you're interested

in DC superhero movies which Scott is shaking his head vigorously I can't wait me either but DC on screen is the best one but anyway so I was on the creepoff Reddit and I found this this is the greatest video of anyone ever being arrested

of all time and it's in Australia and what happened was the police were alerted that there was an international criminal in this restaurant eating Chinese food well it was a case of mistaken identity

this guy was an artist and they picked the wrong guy and I wish that you guys could see it but I will do a live stream on our YouTube channel maybe even tonight and we'll play it so you can see it

But you could just look it up. It's Charles Doza or Doha, D-O-Z-S-A, eating a succulent Chinese meal. And here it is. So here's the actual audio of it. So, okay, first thing he does is he comes out. The cops have the door open. There's cops surrounding him. And he just comes out and he just slams the door shut for the cop car.

You just assured me that I could speak I'll sit in and saw the car We're not assuring anything I'm under arrest You're under what You're under arrest I'm under what So now they're

Gentlemen This is Democracy Manifest Now they're trying to They're trying to get him in the car And there's five of them Trying to push him in the car And he didn't go in anywhere Have a look at the headlock

See that chap over there? Get your hand off my penis! Every line is a gem. Get your hand off my penis. Just remember that for later. Your hand off my penis! This is the bloke who got me on the penis before. Now, he says this like he's introducing somebody to someone else.

This is the bloke who had his hand on my penis before. Why did you do this? Popping the car. With some cups. Now they have him in a half Nelson. Oh, no. A succulent Chinese meal. Yeah, he has...

Oh, a succulent Chinese meal. For what reason? What is the charge eating a meal? A succulent Chinese meal. Oh, that's a nice headlock, sir. Now, he's being ironic here. This guy's trying to get him in a headlock. And what he has is the cop has his elbow.

in front of his neck and his hand on his shoulder. This is not a headlock. So he's being sarcastic and it's quite hilarious. It's quite the headlock you've got those. What is the charge? Eating a meal?

A succulent Chinese meal. Oh, that's nice headlock, sir. Oh. Ah, yes. I see that you know your judo well. I see that you know your judo well. he's being completely sarcastic. That's what I would do, piss him off.

And you, sir, are you waiting to receive my limp penis? How dare you get you? So they got him pushed in front of the car. There's a guy in the car going to grab his legs, right? And he says, oh, and you, sir, are you prepared to accept my limp penis? How dare you, sir? You're your judo. There we go.

Good one. And you, sir. waiting to receive my limp penis how to get your hand, your man? So now they've got him by the legs and they're pulling him into the car and his last words are

tata and farewell. This is the greatest guy in the world. Anyway, there's a little bit more. So if you guys ever pissed me off, I've just got this new drop. Get your hand off my penis. So there you go

That replaced the medium length The medium length Give thyself a bell I still have the long one And the short one I got your hand off my penis That's hilarious I like the one about the headlock though

That is funny Oh yeah Yeah God I see you know your judo well Just looking at the guy Anyway, it's hilarious. What's the guy look like?

Is he a big dude? He's a pretty big dude. He was a burly dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I actually found, and I'll go over this on the live stream because I just love this so much. And it's people, the comments on the video are like, I have to watch this every day to start my day. It's so brilliant. And apparently he's an artist.

He's very accomplished artist. You could, you know, he's a little eccentric, but he said that it was, it, they just came in and surrounded him. He's like, what the hell's going on? He was not the person they were looking for. And he said that he was influenced by the fruit of the grape as well. So that had something to do. The fruit of the grape. I want to have many grapes.

Tata and farewell. Permitting grapes he consumed, don't they? So, great. So anyway, hey, Tacey, have you got Tacey's Time of Topics? Yes, I do. Okay. Get your hand off my penis! Of course, I will abuse that until everyone's sick of it.

It's Tacey's Time of Topics. A time for Tacey to discuss topics of the day. Not to be confused with Topic Time with Harrison Young, which is copyrighted by Harrison Young and Area 58 Public Access. And now, here's Tate. Well, hello, everyone. Hello, Tacey. Good-do.

So this first one is the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. Okay. But if you need to go to the bathroom, now is the time. No, that's perfect for the show. This is called the Pigeons Rump Cure. Physicians in the 19th century employed innumerable strange treatments, but this one is very bizarre. Summoned to treat a dangerously ill child one night in 1850.

This physician had little success. with conventional medicine, so in desperation. Okay, I'm reading. He asked the parents to get him a pigeon and then placed its bottom next to that of its young patient. After the bird had been applied to the child's anus, he recorded in a medical journey. It garranted, it gasped for air several times, closed its eyes periodically, then its feet twitched in spasm, and finally it vomited.

The child made a miraculous recovery, although the same could not be said for the pigeon. and after refusing its food, it died a few hours later. Yeah, I'm reading where this has been written up in other medical journals back in the day. And I wish I had Charles Doza. You know, you could do AI. I need to feed his thing in there and then I could have it read stuff.

But if one holds the rump of a dove against the child's anus during the fit, the animal soon dies and the attack ceases just as rapidly. That's the dumbest thing. I've ever heard. It is crazy, isn't it? Got your hand off my penis! Oh, goody.

Here we go. The next one. Oh, wait a minute. Oh, my goodness. They did it for other things. Here, they were treating preeclampsia with that as well. With a pigeon ramp here? Or eclampsia.

Clampsia is a serious condition affecting women before during an after childbirth. The name literally means bursting forth. Yeah. Preeclampsia is bad. It's when it turns into eclampsia that it. It is extremely bad. Okay, so until the 19th century, doctors also refer to the eclampsia of children. This was a misnomer.

It was infant seizures, what they were looking at. And, yeah, and Carl Frederick Kandstadt, was that the same person, Tase, that you read? This was all over the place, then. This is a different person. One remedy I must mention here whose unequivocal effects I have myself witnessed, however, inexplicable the phenomenon. If one holds the rump of a dove against the child's anus

during paroxysm, the animal quickly dies and the attack ceases just as rapidly. Wow. And it was, yeah, there's story after story and the old medical literature about this. How in the hell did that

get started? I mean, why would somebody have thought of that? So stupid. Yeah, yeah, that's it. Well, listen. Of course, when you don't have any other options, I guess. A lot of, well, I mean, seriously, though, even if I have no other options, I'm not killing a pigeon and shoving it up against. Well, why did the pigeon die? Did they actually shove it into the anus or just set it next to the anus? Probably if you want to hold a pigeon up to a kid's anus, it's going to fight you and you're just going to end up.

That's the only thing I can think of. But, yeah, even if I had no other options, I wouldn't think of that. But listen, at the time, these people were saying, hey, you ought to give it a try. It used to be medical malpractice to treat congestive heart failure people with beta blockers. And the theory at the time was that you're reducing the contractility of the heart and you're actually making it worse. Now it's malpractice if you don't put people on that. So these things do change over time. So if that was accepted medical for, you know, even a brief instant medical knowledge that we finally, you know, find out the truth.

Well, thankfully. Isn't it well? Well, here's story number two. All right. When Mr. H., a pharmacist assistant from London, fell ill in the spring of 1842, nobody suspected the real cause. The 35-year-old had always suffered from asthma, so his family naturally assumed this was the reason that he was struggling to bring. read. But this time, the usual remedies, enemas, bleeding, laxatives, failed to have any effect. Oh, God, animas. Can you imagine you're having an asthma attack and someone's shoving a tube up your ass?

I mean, sounds fun. And when his doctor performed an autopsy, they were astonished to find a partial set of dentures lodged inside the patient's chest cavity. The man's father recalled that the dead man had accidentally swallowed them 13 years earlier. The doctors concluded that he had, in fact, inhaled the false teeth, which had become lodged in its airway before causing the fatal event more than a decade later. I'm suspicious of that timeline. I think he swallowed them. It ended up in his stomach never went anywhere. And then at some point, he aspirated them.

You know, they worked their way back up. He had a reflux episode, and they're probably partially broken. down. He had a reflux episode, a reflux episode, and he regurgitated these things, and then it ended up in his airway. If he had had dentures in his airway for 13 years, he would have known about it. Yeah, and I, I mean, if you just get a tiny bit of steak or a hair in there, you're going to cough like a lunatic.

Yep. Well, and you've got to figure, too, getting, getting those dentures into that, in that airway. And it was a part. But still, yeah, it's still... Could have just been two teeth or something. It'd be tough to get going down that way. Correct. It's easier to get coming up, like you said, if you aspirated.

Yeah, he's probably drunk. Yep. I mean, allegedly, I don't want him to assume me. Laying on their side or laying on their back. Yeah, laying on their back. Bommets a little bit. Recurgetate these things that's been sitting in his stomach all this time because he couldn't pass. Yep, that would make sense.

That would be my guess. I'm about Dr. Dr. Steve on this. All right. Good one. Good one. The next one is in the summer of 1859, a 12-year-old girl from London named Sarah, began to complain of nausea.

Her parents remained unconcerned until one afternoon she vomited a large garden slug, which was alive and very active. Oh, don't eat slugs. Sarah Ann then threw up seven more slugs of various sizes, but all alive. Asked if she'd eaten anything unusual, the girl told the family doctor that she'd like to snack on lettuces from the garden. The physician concluded that she had unwittingly swallowed a family of young slow, slugs that had grown to maturity inside her stomach over the course of several weeks.

Wow. The case prompted one of the best headlines. Oh, yeah, what was the headline? The answer unsc-oh, well. Oh, no. A teaser. Yeah, I don't know. Drum roll. We need the drum roll.

Hmm. Well, one of the best headlines. Oh, I have the headline right here. The next, okay. Get your hand off my penis. There you go. So anyway, then it goes from the best headlines, and it must have skipped a page because it says, Okay.

The answer, unsurprisingly, is no, they cannot. Whatever was wrong with Sarah Ann, it was not a family of mollus contendedly munching on vegetables in her stomach. Exactly right. She ate slugs. Yeah. And there was a kid that ate a slug, and he died from it. But slugs are not poisonous, but they can have toxins on their surface. And, you know, they create mucus and serotonin, which makes them sort of nasty in their slime.

But this kid got a parasite from the slug. And he did that show. Oh, gosh. Yeah. That would be a hard way to go. Yeah. Yeah. She ate slug.

She's a damn lie. is what it is. She just didn't want to say, well, allegedly, again, I don't want her to sue me for a defamation. When was this? I mean, it's been, she's dead. She's a liar. She ate slugs and was embarrassed. Because I'm sure her mother said, you didn't eat slugs, did you?

And she was like, no mama. No, ma'amah. No, maitur. I ate lettuce from the. Letters for a garden I can't Okay the next one I'm not even trying to do an accent

I'm just trying to do a little kid Oh yeah Is one of the most commonly encountered Medical conditions in the 18th century Was bladder stones The only infective treatment Was the operation known as lithotomy Performed without anesthetic

That would be where they cut the stone out So otomy meaning cutting Ostomy meaning making a hole otomy meaning cutting. It was excruciatingly painful and patients often died. Did they say how they did it? No. Okay, let's get the procedure.

A bladder stone. Why did so many people have stones back then? Well, this guy invented a new instrument. A file made from a knitting needle. He inserted this implement up his own uretha three to four times a day and used it to file away the stone bit by bit. This was an uncomfortable experience, but apparently, better than ending in a painful operation, and remarkably six months later, he declared himself cured.

You know what's crazy? Wow. I just realized this, that when we put a woman in stirrups, we call it dorsal lithotomy position. And it just struck me that this is a holdover from way back in the day when they actually did lithotomies. I always wondered why it was called, you know, stone-cutting. Yeah, lithe being stone. Right. Yeah.

Yeah. Wow. Dorsal lithotomy. It's like, you know, that's, you know, with your feet up in the stirrups. Sure. I was in dorsal lithotomy position when I had my vasectomy. Right. Can you imagine doing that, running that file up there?

All I can think of is how awful the camera that you and I both had. It was. Jeez. Yeah, I felt like I was pissing razor blades for, you know, You know, two days. Can you imagine? No, I really. Why were they having so many bladder stones?

I don't know. I'm guessing hard water, maybe, possibly. Yeah, I mean, that would be my guess. I mean, it would be my first thing because of my mind. I can't think of anything else right off hand. Okay, okay, so the history of urinary stones in parallel with civilization, the roots of modern science and the history of urinary stone disease go back to ancient Egyptians in Mesopotamia. Hippocrates

define the symptoms of bladder stones. I've never seen anyone with bladder stones in my career. The first recorded details of perineal lithotomy were those of Cornelius Celsius. Oh my God.

So they were doing this surgery back in like 2,000 years ago? Jeez, always. Holy. Moly. That's going to be uncomfortable.

Yeah, the earliest literary quotations to stone disease describing symptoms and prescribing treatments to dissolve the stone are observed within the medical text Asutu in Mesotamia between 3,200 and 1,200

BC. The first descriptions of cutting for the stone are found in Hindu and Greek writings. Shushruta this is 600 BC, was a surgeon who lived in ancient Indian is the author of the book Shushruta Samida, which he describes 300 surgical procedures, including perineal lithotomy. Oh.

Oh, my goodness. Gracious. Tasey, this is making my bladder hurt. Good. Okay. All right. Fair. Fair enough.

All right. Yeah. Yeah, they were doing these perineal, well, I mean, who do you think was the first person that said, well, your symptoms are probably caused by a stone in your bladder. Let's cut it out. Wouldn't you, it wouldn't have to, they would have had to have done like an autopsy post. Yeah, a bunch of, well, they used to do autopsies. Yeah, I would think. If you read the, not the sword and the stone, what is it, the book about Michelangelo, something ends the stone.

No, agony and the ecstasy He did He was an anatomist and he would do autopsies on people Of course they didn't have formaldehydes These people stuck to high heaven And it was really frowned upon you I mean if you did autopsies on dead bodies You were considered weird

But that allowed him to get all the anatomy right In his sculptures and stuff Well you know in the Chinese That's how they found a lot of their anatomy Was prisoners after Oh yeah Yeah they were They probably they do it

They wait until they were dead before they didn't have dead. Most of the time, I think. Okay, it says here, oh, and here's Michelangelo, who's thought to have high-functioning autism. Really? That explains his single-minded work routine, unusual lifestyle. He suffered from urinary stones. Yes. How about that?

Oh, his terminal illness with symptoms of fluid overload suggests he may have had sustained obstructive nephropathy. that's where you no longer can get rid of fluid waste through the urinary system. It just backs up and then you die eventually. Napoleon Bonaparte had bladder stones. What the hell was? I'm really just kind of going through this trying to see if they say why so many people had bladderstones back then. Anyway, all right. Can't find anything.

That was a good one, Tais. well thank you you're the one who sent them to me oh i did yes oh okay well there you got any more no that's it that's that is it for time of topics okay okay fair thank you thank you hey thanks tase for uh tacy's time of topics it was very good uh stimulated a lot of conversation we have any questions from the fluid family there dr scott not yet okay and just remember if anybody sends in a super chat that must be done during the show. Absolutely. All right.

Let's do this one. Oh, yeah, I like this one. Let's try this and see. Oh, of course. Here we go with the... There we go. Hi, Dr. Steve, Dr. Scott, Tacey. Hey, when I was a kid, I read stories on strange facts

that intrigued me. And there used to be stories about spontaneous human combustion. Correct. Was that a real thing? I used to get nightmares when I had fevers because of those stories. Thanks. Bye. Yeah.

So the human body is a chemical factory, and chemical energy is amazing. If you think about it, you eat food, and then you can run a marathon. How many miles is a marathon, Dr. Scott? 24 miles. You can run 24 miles without refueling if you're in shape. That is the essence of chemical energy. It's unbelievable what you can do and turn chemical energy into motion and kinetic energy and potential energy, et cetera, et cetera. But we do not have a mechanism in our body for runaway chemical energy to the point where the whole body will. flame on. And all of these cases, I used to believe in this back, I believed in a bunch of stupid crap

when I was much younger. But I did some research, and there are some common threads. The people are obese, so people were like, oh, they've got fat. They are, but that's part of it, but that's not the whole thing. They are obese, alcoholics, or drug abusers, and smoker. So that kind of tells you the whole story. They're smoking, they're passing out, they're getting, things are getting caught on fire, particularly, you know, sleeping garments and stuff like that. And then if there's enough heat, the fat in their body can become rendered and then become fuel for the fire.

And so they, you know, they come in and these people are just completely burned down. up. And that is the hypothesis. We've never caught it while it's happening because how would you do that? You would put them out. If you caught somebody, you're not going to sit there and go, oh, this person is. Let's see what happens. Let's see what happens.

Let themself on fire and we're just going to see if this fits the model that we have. So we're not going to do that. But that's so no, there's no real mechanism chemically with the kind of enzymatic chemical reactions that we have in the body for the whole body to hit 451 degrees which is what the temperature paper

flames on at so all right but very interesting that's a good one yeah yeah very interesting all right this one Dr. Scott you might be able to help

with this one let's see here hey Dr. Steve I have two questions first one on October 18th I had a accident mental overdose of a sodium no not sodium I hear channel blockers um the heart medication okay um and uh well I was rushing calcium channel blocks um they uh put shit up my

groin they push it down my throat they put shit down in my neck they well when he says they put shit down his groin what he means is they put a line in You know, they got access. And what they put down his throat was probably a tube into his lungs to help him breathe. Okay, so unless anybody be confused about what... My neck and put some... I know what he's saying. Wires down my neck to my heart.

Yeah. And so he may have had a temporary pacemaker. Wires down his neck into his heart would be, you know, a pacemaker. Unless they did a, unless they did like a statum angiogram or their, you know, Well, okay, yeah, that would be correct. Because they would have got access in his leg. But they would have gotten that access in his leg. Going down the neck, going down the neck and running wires in there, most always, I mean, it's going to be a pacemaker.

Anyway, when they took the stupid tube out, I haven't been able to talk right since. Yeah. So, can you tell me, am I ever going to get my normal voice back here? Yeah. So he had damaged vocal cords from, and when you intubate somebody, you're taking a tube. Well, first you've got to get them in position, and they've got a tube called a laryngoscope. And basically it's just a tongue depressor with a light on it and a handle. And you have to do it right because if you jack that thing at the wrong angle, you're going to break the person's teeth and stuff like that.

So you've got push it in their throat and then just pull straight up. Now, they have video ones now so that you can see that the endotracheal tube, which is the breathing, the thing that's going to breathe for them, is going past the vocal cords into the tracheal. Gotcha. Okay? And then it'll be enclosed by the vocal cords. Well, there's a balloon on the end of that, and you blow up the balloon,

which is circumferential, and that makes a good seal. So now you can put air in. It's not going to leak around the tube. It's just going to go into the lungs. And the only air goes into the lungs through the tube and comes out of the lungs through the tube. And if that thing is placed a little, you know, it could be a placement issue. There can be trauma. You know, there was an emergency.

So they're trying to jam this thing in there. You know, they're trying to save your life. It's not as clean as you would normally like for it to be, say, if you were doing surgery and the anesthesiologist is doing it because they got plenty of time and it's calm and all that stuff. So they were trying to keep him from dying immediately and there may be some trauma to the vocal cords. Now, if the vocal cords are just agitated and they've got some swelling and inflammation and stuff. They should get better and his voice should come back. If there's permanent damage, really only in ear, nose and throat doctors can be able to tell that. So what they'll do is they'll shoot some cocaine or phenylaphrin or something in your nose

and they take a fiber optic scope, hopefully not the same one that they shoved up, Dr. Scott's in my bladder, but it's about the same size. And they'll shove it in there and look around. Then they can point it downward and look at the vocal cords and see, right if there's permanent damage or if there's just some swelling there that'll go away over time yep and they can do little tests like swallowing tests and things to make sure everything's moving normally right and inside there um yeah so if yeah and if it is and speech pathology would be the place that would send you if uh if you um just have damage you know mild damage that can be recovered from right yeah especially if there's inflammation you know and typically you know we'll see a lot of that vocalist And so what we do is get them, rest is number one, to quit irritating it, obviously. And if there's anything else that's offending smokers, you know, maybe living in spaces where there's not great air quality. You know, and the other thing is, Dr. Steve, depending on, but if all that's normal, what can happen sometimes is, too, when they cock the head back, if they turn it one way, you can actually get pinched nerves in the neck.

Okay. That can affect your speaking. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yes. Yeah, so I'm just saying. So when they had him in the position, if they held him there long enough, he could have damage to the recurrent laryngeal nerve. And that may regenerate. Yes, as well.

I mean, and it can be anything. As long as you don't cut it. Yeah, exactly. As long as it's not severed. You know, but even some, well, yeah, but that's a whole other discussion. But, yeah, but if that's the case, what, you know, there are a couple things you're making sure that you can check the viability of that nerve, you know, taking away any kind of stress. Anti-inflammatories can help, you know, needles in there and stimulating that nerve. can sometimes help to bring it back.

Yeah. I mean, that's kind of stuff I do. I see an acupuncturist, but I don't have, that's not going to hurt anything. No, no. It might help. My niece, Chris, is a Ph.D. speech pathologist. Wow, yeah. And she is probably yelling at her radio right now because she would say, well, she has all that stuff.

She could do the direct laryngoscopy herself. And they do strobes and do all kinds of things. So if you can find a speech pathologist that can actually visualize your vocal cords, You could do that with one-stop shopping. But if there is damage that needs to be repaired, then the ear-nose and throat docks, the only one that's going to be able to do that. But anyway, yeah, so let's see what the rest of his questions are. I did have pneumonia after they took the tube out.

I was on comb event. Yeah, Comavent is an inhaler that has albuterol and Ipertropium bromide. So the albuterol opens up the airways. The Ipertropium bromide decreases the amount of mucus that's, being produced in the long. That shit kind of help, but anyway, I'm going to get my voice back. Second question is... Yeah, I think so, but we need more information.

So you know what to do. You know what to do. You know what to do. Find that. Oh, sorry, I was channeling Eric. Do, yeah, so E.N.T, unless you have a speech pathologist in your area that could do it all in one fell swoop. I didn't shit the bed My hemorrhoids exploded

Can you have hemorrhoids so bad That it causes you constipation Because you just can't shit Yep And then when they burst You just shit to bed Okay I know why he's asking this question And he's asking for a friend

He's asking for a friend Of course And I know who that friend is But here's the Here's the truth is that if you have a rectal fissure, it hurts so bad to move your bowels that your bowels will just go, you know what? We're just going to lay back here for a little bit, and we're not going to defecate for a while. And that's a problem because the longer you wait, the worse it gets, and then the harder the stool is and the more it hurts. So you're really better seeing a proctologist have them see if that rectal fissure needs to be fixed

or if they could just give you rectal rockets. You guys familiar with a rectal rocket? No. It's a wax rocket-shaped suppository. And the reason it's rocket-shaped is it's got the regular suppository shape, but on the other end, it's got wings, you know, like a rocket. And you shove this thing in your ass and the wings on the very end keep it there. It won't bloop up. Okay.

So the sphincter will hold it on the neck. And then you have that part on the outside and then part on the inside. It will just hold it there. And then you can put medication in there, cortisone, lydicane, you know, to numb it up, stuff like that to try to heal that rectal fish or at least make. it feel better so that you can defecate it. Yes. But now, that's a rectal fissure. Hemorrhoids do bleed.

And, you know, if you wipe your ass, say, with a sheet and there's brown stuff on it, you can tell the difference between stool and blood. That's the thing. And that's what this incident he's talking about. You can tell the difference. Yes. If I bleed on a sheet, I can tell that that's dried blood. If I take a dump on a sheet, I can tell that that is fecal matter.

So whether, you know, you can make jokes like, oh, it looks like a chocolate-covered cherry, that's disgusting. There's to not be shit in there. Just blood is enough. So people who know know what I'm talking about. But, yes, they can bleed. They don't explode. but people do have bleeding hemorrhoids and but they you should not be also you know

leaking fecal matter at the same time it's ridiculous all right all right okay let's see okay oh remember we talked about Mia or Maya that that horrible malpractice case and I yes oh yeah yeah so let's hey Dr. Steve two things real quick And I actually did a live stream about it as well.

So you can go to YouTube.com slash at Weird Medicine from that. Do you remember, I was telling you or talking to you in chat about the take care of Meyer court case that was going on? Right. This was a horrible lawsuit at a prominent university in the Research Triangle. And the documentary that was on Netflix. Anyway, it was a nine-week court case. It finally ended like last week or a week before. Okay, so if you remember, the kid was getting high-dose ketamine for CRPS regional pain syndrome.

And when they went to Duke University, they weren't doing it there, but the mom demanded it. And when they did, then the providers there thought that the kid was having Munchausen by proxy. And then the kid was taken away from the mother who then subsequently ended her life because of the stigma. And so that's what this is what this is about. And we did talk about how this could have been prevented. Number one, if the providers had just listened rather than jump to conclusions. and also if the parents had made arrangements ahead of time, hey, this is what our daughter's getting at this other clinic

in this other town, you know, can we find someone locally that will understand what we're doing and just do it for us? So there was way more culpability on the side of the medical team on this one if the story went the way that we understand the story to have gone. Anyway, the jury, and that's all allegedly, of course, so. Awarded a family over a quarter of a billion dollars. What? The total is like $262 million.

Wow. Now, I wonder if the institution will end up having to pay that. $250 million. Well, that's, you know, if they were trying to teach them a lesson, that's quite the lesson. The jury said that the hospital, the staff, and their actions caused the death of Biotta Kowalski, that was the mother of Maya. Yeah. She ended up killing herself because of, you know, they took her, tragic story.

And, you know, the thing about the law is they can't bring her back. The only thing they can do is they have to, quote, unquote, make you whole. And the only way to do that, really, in this day and age, is with money. And you're still never whole. She's never, the kids never going to have her mom again. They took Meyer away from her. and they didn't allow her to see her and they put this freaking

beady lady in there who didn't let her talk to the kid what a fucking shit show that was but I'm so glad they got $262 million I think they can't go after the D-CFS like Department of Children and they're immune

they cannot be sued for the you know taking the kid away but I wish they could and yeah you know we have these kinds of cases sometimes where you think there's abuse and neglect. And if you just talk to people, you find out that there's more to the story. And you just, I know, yes, you have to protect the patient, number one, but you have to

also put on your Sherlock Holmes hat and do a complete investigation, which obviously we have not done. We're going based on what the media is telling us. And I also understand what Gilman amnesia is that, you know, for us to assume that what the media is, account of this is true is nuts as well. So we'll never know the whole truth of this. But I guess what we do know is that there was quite the judgment against the institution. So anyway. So before we go, Dr. Scott, you got anything from the fluid family?

And by the way, if you want to become part of the fluid family, go to YouTube.com slash at Weird Medicine, with Weird Medicine, all being one word. You can join. We're going to start doing members-only things because we've got a bunch of members. It's only 99 cents. I don't know what I'm going to do with that. We'll do something. And, you know. Air conditioning.

Yeah. No, I mean, for them, not for us. Oh, rats. I'm sorry. What's Christmas? I figured, you know. They have to get something for joining. Other than the dumb perks that you do get, which is you get to use weird medicine-themed icons, you know, or emojis and stuff.

But I'll be working on that, particularly over the break. Cool. And when I get a little bit of free time. But anyway, so what do you got? Yeah, real quick, we've got three. Actually, good ones in there, all quick questions. Okay. Hickie wants to know if a husband has to get a pacemaker, he shoots left-handed and is concerned.

he will have to give up his rifles. Wow. Wait a minute now. That's an excellent question. I would learn how to shoot right-handed. Really? You think so. It would be my first thing.

Okay, so what you're worried about is, well, the pacemaker is going to be in a pouch under the skin. Left shoulder. Right, right in the left pectoral muscle. I'm looking here, it says instructions following pacemaker implantation from Texarkana cardiology associates. So shooting a gun is fine after the device is in place. You've got to make sure that that pouch is completely healed for one thing. Yeah, not any time soon.

Do not place the butt of the gun over the device itself. No. They say shooting with the opposite arm is recommended. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. So now, I think I could invent something that would take the. pressure off of the pouch and redirect it somewhere else, that would be possible. But that's what they're worried about, is that you're having a rapid acceleration-type pulse to the pacemaker.

And if you break the pacemaker, you're aft. Yeah. And plus, I mean, you could dislodge. I mean, it's possible to dislodge wires. Sure. To strain the wires, I mean, it's, you know, that's a big mess of that could potentially. So I would learn to shoot the other way or shoot pistols. Yeah, shoot pistols.

How about a bow and arrow? Yeah, bow and arrow. You could do that. Yeah, that's even more fun. Matter of fact, I will send him a copy of an archery book that a friend of mine wrote if they'll email me. Okay. That was his wife is in the chat, but he is? Hickey, yeah.

Talk like Hick. Oh, talk like a Hick. Okay. I call her a key. Oh, what does she care? She is, I'll say, I think she's encouraging him to put the button gun on the left. Knowing her. All right, so, hey, Long.

She's actually trying to come up with a legit way to kill him. She's not culpable. But this is recorded for all posterity. It's right. It's too late. So Longfellow wants to know, he takes Metropalaw. of PVCs. His doctor tells him that's, that is, they're benign. Is that true? Or this is benign? Yeah. Yeah. People with, well, it depends. In the absence of heart disease,

PVCs are generally benign. Some people's hearts just do them. All of our hearts do them sometimes. We've all felt premature ventricular contractions. Every once in a while, you might feel your heart thumping out of your chest for 30 seconds or so. or it's not even that long. It seems like it is. And athletes, elite athletes will have more PVCs than anybody. So if they're symptomatic, they'll treat them with metoprolol or another beta blocker. And that generally works.

But what's going on is every once in while your heart, you know, it goes beat, beat, beat. And then if it beats, for whatever reason, just electrical noise, it goes beat, beat, beat, beat, beat, and then it pauses. But during that pause, it is still filling up with blood coming from the venous side. And it's getting bigger and bigger and bigger and it's stretching it. And then it's going, fuck, I've got to beat. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Like that.

And that's, get your attention. And that's the part that catches your attention. It's not the skipped beat. It's the response to the skip beat that you feel. And it causes what we name those palpitations in medicine. Now, if you're having myocardial infracture, you have chest pain with palpitations. That's a poorer prognostic sign, you know, if you're having a lot of PVCs with a heart attack. But in the absence of heart disease, PVCs are premature ventricular contractions, tend to be benign.

Gotcha. All right, good one. Yep, good one. Last one, real quick. Cush is asking, so why do, or how do external hemorrhoids become internal hemorrhoids? They don't. He said they occasionally... No, you either have internal hemorrhoids or external hemorrhoids. He has occasional bleeding, but not a lot of pain. And you can have both.

Yep. So hemorrhoids are just varicose veins of the ass. Tacey, you want to take this question? No. Damn it, Steve, it's nap time. Don't be fucking with her. No. Get your hand off my penis.

Oh, damn it. Take your hand off my penis. So they are varicose veins of the ass, and you can have internal ones, and you can have external ones, and it just depends on where the vein enlarges. The external ones, if they clot. They become thrombosed, external hemorrhoids. And those patients walk in in the most pain that you'll ever see anybody in that walk out completely pain-free. Yep.

Because when they walk in, they're bent over. They can't sit. And when you're done treating them, they walk out completely pain-free. Those are some of your most grateful patients. I know. But you have to incise it in the office. And you have to have your nurse on the other side. The patient's curled up in a ball, fetal position.

The nurse is standing in front of their chest, you know, and then they have to reach across the patient and lift the upper ass cheek up to expose this and while you're working in there. You clean it all up, numb it up. You make an incision and you express the thrombus from there. And then you stick a corner of a piece of gauze in there to keep it from closing back up again.

And then you tape their ass cheeks shut to add pressure to keep the bleeding to stop the bleeding and and then after about two hours they can get in the bathtub and do like a sits bath and they're done but they will walk out completely pain free. Wow. That's awesome. All right. All right guys. All right. Well, thank you all. Thank you. Thanks for joining us. Thanks always go to Dr. Scott. Tacey. Thanks to everyone who's made this show happen over the years. Listen to our Sirius XM show on the Faction Talk channel. Sirius XM Channel 103, Saturdays at 7 p.m. Eastern, Sunday at 6 p.m. Eastern on demand. At other times, Jim McCourt's pleasure.

Many thanks to our listeners whose voicemail and topic ideas make this job very easy. Go to our website at Dr. Steve.com for schedules, podcasts, and other crap. Until next time, check your stupid nuts for lumps, quit smoking, get off your asses and get some exercise. We'll see you in one week for the next edition of Weird Medicine. Goodbye, everyone. Thanks, we'll be it. Thank you.