Weird Medicine: The Podcast - 633 - HACKAMANIA - Fare Thee Well SiriusXM

Episode Date: June 5, 2025

Please visit: The final SiriusXM Show at the Plaza Hotel in Las Vegas NEW SHOWS COMING VERY SOON! CALL 347 766 4323 TO GET YOUR CALLS IN! ⁠⁠simplyherbals.net/cbd-sinus-rinse⁠⁠ (the be...st he's ever made. Seriously.) ⁠⁠instagram.com/weirdmedicine⁠⁠ ⁠⁠x.com/weirdmedicine⁠⁠ ⁠⁠stuff.doctorsteve.com⁠⁠ (get your copy of WET BRAIN the CARD GAME) ⁠⁠youtube.com/@weirdmedicine ⁠⁠(click JOIN and ACCEPT GIFTED MEMBERSHIPS. Join the "Fluid Family" for live recordings!) ⁠⁠youtube.com/@normalworld ⁠⁠(Check out Dave and crew, and occasionally see your old pal!) CHECK OUT THE ROADIE COACH stringed instrument trainer! ⁠⁠roadie.doctorsteve.com⁠⁠ (the greatest gift for a guitarist or bassist! The robotic tuner!) see it here: ⁠⁠stuff.doctorsteve.com/#roadie⁠⁠ Also don't forget: ⁠⁠Cameo.com/weirdmedicine⁠⁠ (Book your old pal right now because he's cheap! "FLUID!") Most importantly! ⁠⁠CHECK US OUT ON PATREON! ⁠⁠ ALL NEW CONTENT! Robert Kelly, Mark Normand, Jim Norton, Gregg Hughes, Anthony Cumia, Joe DeRosa, Pete Davidson, Geno Bisconte, Cassie Black ("Safe Slut"). Stuff you will never hear on the main show ;-) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 New season, new chaos in college football. Let's go! Big stage, big opportunity. This Labor Day weekend, The Wildness lives on ABC ESPN and the all-new ESPN app. What a way to start! Featuring top 10 teams like Clemson, Notre Dame, Alabama and LSU, and Bill Belichick's debut at North Carolina. It's so special.
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Starting point is 00:01:36 Opie and Anthony and Ron and Fez, you would have thought that this guy was a bit of, you know, a clown. Okay, I'm not playing the whole thing because I do it again in the show. So, I see your old pal, Dr. Steve, and I wanted to just play the Las Vegas show. show in its entirety. I know it's very visual. We were on a stage at the Plaza Hotel in the Sand Dollar Room. And because I was going to my son's graduation, which, you know, how could I miss that? A damn kid graduated first in his class. I'm very proud of him. I left from there, flew to Las Vegas, got in around 8 o'clock, did my show at 10.30. at Las Vegas time, which 10.30, 11, 30, 12, that's 1.30, my time. Now, I'm old. And I got up at 6. 3 a.m. Vegas time, which was 6 Eastern time. And did the show. And then stayed, you got to bed around 3 o'clock in the morning. Vegas time. Didn't eat or drink really much of anything the whole time. So I was, oh,
Starting point is 00:03:00 for 24 hours but you know people much younger than me were there and they're like we're tired I'm like no we're going to keep going so anyway it's very visual it's not a great audio podcast but I just wanted to put it out there for posterity and I will be posting the video on our YouTube channel at youtube.com slash at weird medicine ASAP I've just got to fiddle with it a little bit. And the camera feeds that I got from Mr. Melton were corrupt. It was my fault. I'm going to have to beg him to send them to me again. I hate to do that, but I really want to put out a quality product. And there were some things, just, you know, other people were switching the video cameras, and they didn't know what was coming. So they did a really good job. But
Starting point is 00:03:58 I would like to be able to do my own version of it. So I'm working on that, and then you'll get all the visual jokes because people are laughing at things you don't know what they're doing. On Sirius XM, I tried to just talk over it and say, well, here I did this, here I did that. It was awful. So it was the worst last show. We did the best first show, Anthony Coomy had ever heard, and I know it was the worst last show that was ever done on Sirius XM. But anyway, just for posterity, this is the last Sirius XM show done at the Plaza Hotel in Las Vegas. And I'm just going to play it in its entirety.
Starting point is 00:04:39 There's a whole section in the middle where we had a little bit where people were doing the Howie Mandel rubber glove bit with their names written on the gloves. And then we were giving out prizes. And I'm sure it'll be terrible to listen to. but maybe it's something you can listen to and go to sleep. I don't know. But I just, I'm just playing it so you can hear the standing ovation at the end. That's really why. So if you go through all the way to the end,
Starting point is 00:05:10 and there is about four minutes of Cletus telling one shitty pun after another, why did I want to do that? I don't know. I wanted to do something different. and I just kind of, I guess I just wanted to blow up my spot. That's really what it was. And it was fun and stupid. And every time I would tell a joke, I hit a button, and it showed a picture of Chad Zumach saying,
Starting point is 00:05:38 please clap. And people laughed at that, so they found it amusing, I guess. But anyway, that's what's going on there. And I played some of my videos, which you can find those, on our Patreon. all the video elements around Patreon, patreon.com slash weird medicine. And they will also, like I said, be up on our YouTube channel, ASAP. Now that I'm home, I've got, I'm going to make time to do all this stuff and generate more content. Scott and I, well, I and sometimes Scott, sometimes other people are going to be doing a new podcast
Starting point is 00:06:22 It's still called Weird Medicine the podcast, but it'll be a little bit more fast-paced, a lot less bullshit, more of your questions. So call 347-76-6-4-3-2-3. Get us some questions going. I don't care what they're about. They can be about turds or hypertension or, you know, quantum physics. Just leave questions at that number 347-766-4-3-23. And enjoy. And I'll see you very soon.
Starting point is 00:06:53 I think what we're going to do is three shows a month. And we're going to try to make them very entertaining. Now that we're not constrained by the time element with Sirius XM, we can just get together once a month and do three shows and knock them out, but actually prep for them and do something a little bit more like we used to back in the day. when I used to spend eight hours every episode prepping for it. And you could really tell the difference in the later years. But I appreciate you all hanging in there, tell your friends,
Starting point is 00:07:31 and I'd like to grow this thing a little bit and maybe reach a wider audience. I don't know, but I just don't want to just make it go away. Really, I'm just dreading, taking this studio apart, to be honest with you. But I am going to clean up the studio, and we're going to have kind of a fresh start. But stay tuned for that. And go to YouTube.com slash at Weird Medicine and click the subscribe button and the notification button. If you want to join us for live shows, they'll be usually Saturday. In the summertime, we may do them in the evening because it just gets so hot up here,
Starting point is 00:08:12 and I get tired of hearing everybody complain about it. I tried using AI to take out the noise from the air conditioner last year, and that sucked. It didn't work. It worked, but it also took out music and things I didn't want it to take out. So when that gets a little bit better, we may try that again. But anyway, hope that you enjoy this in some way, at least I guess I'm just putting it out there for posterity. All right, my friends, and we'll see you next week for the next edition of Weird Medicine.
Starting point is 00:08:49 Thanks. Empresario, he is, for real. And how about your headliners tonight, WATP? That was amazing. I'm just a fan. I'm just a fan. That's the whole thing. I'm just a fan.
Starting point is 00:09:07 It has specialized knowledge of disgusting body parts, and so people tolerate me. to these things and I really appreciate it. We're ready? All right, here we go. Take two. This will be worth it by the end. Hey, it's your old pal, Dr. Steve, and this week, Ken asks.
Starting point is 00:09:28 My partner and I like to engage in a little ass play from time to time. I'm worried about its effects on my anus. Is there something to it, or am I just being a nervous nelly? Well, Ken, a lot of myths exist regarding anal intercourse between consenting adults. consenting adults. The most concerning myth being the idea that penetrative anal sex might lead to a loss of bowel control leading to the dropping of logs involuntarily wherever the participant goes. This idea likely keeps a lot of people from participating in this activity for better or worse. To find the truth
Starting point is 00:10:04 researchers in the American Journal of Gastraterology somehow got funding for a study titled anal sphincter structure and function in anoreceptive intercourse, and the findings may reassure you. Basically, this study looked at 14 males who engage in ass play and 10 age-matched non-anoreceptive males in a controlled prospective study. Subjects were measured for anal sphincter tone through the use of a monometer, which is basically a pressure gauge attached to a balloon that's inserted into the rectum. The tighter one can squeeze the balloon with their sphincter muscles, the higher the readings on the meter.
Starting point is 00:10:46 What they found was that resting pressures were lower in the ass-plate group to a high level of statistical significance, but there was no difference whatsoever between the active and control group when it came to squeezing the device with their sphincters. Ano-receptive men had thinner anal sphincters, but this was not statistically significant. Most importantly, what the study finally showed was that, despite the lower resting pressures in man engaging in penetrative anal intercourse, there was no loss of bowel control whatsoever. Therefore, although ASPLA does change the dynamics of the anal canal, there's enough redundancy in the system that people who engage in this activity
Starting point is 00:11:30 aren't just shitting themselves constantly while they're going about their normal lives. So, Ken, start low and go slow, use lots of lubs, and have a partner who is patient, who is patient, and careful, and you can enjoy sexual Congress without worrying that you'll be constantly filling your pants with stool because of it. I hope that helps. Let us know how it goes. Yay.
Starting point is 00:11:55 Yay. Oh. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. See, that's the things that are coming out of your mouth, Chott, babbling, insanity, delusions. Hello, Doctor. Hello, Dr. Steve. Can you tell us more about that giant, meaty, penis between your legs?
Starting point is 00:12:18 Hmm. If you just read the bio for Dr. Steve, host of Weird Medicine on Sirius XM103, and made popular by two really comedy shows, Opie and Anthony and Ron and Bez, you would have thought that this guy was a bit of, you know, a clown. Why can't you give me the respect that I'm entitled to? I've got diphtheria crushing my esophagus. I've got Ebola, I'm stripping from my nose. I've got the leprosy of the heart valve, exacerbating my...
Starting point is 00:12:49 Ladies and gentlemen, prepare to be disappointed. Weird medicine, the first and still only uncensored medical show in the history of broadcast radio. I'm Dr. Steve with my co-host for the night, Lucy Titebach. Holy shit! It's nurse typebox tonight. Good God. This is the final serious X-M recording of Weird Medicine, the first live recording ever.
Starting point is 00:13:24 Why have I waited 20 years to do a show in front of a live audience because I'm an idiot and I'm really bad at this? I was going to have some of my celebrity friends. Real celebrities, John, as in people who are actually still in the business. I was embarrassed to ask them, you know, which given all the shit I know about them is stupid. But, you know, again, evidence that I'm terrible at marketing and worse at broadcasting. I do want to shout out my co-hosts over the years, including P.A. John, Jefferson the Scheister, chest pain Rob, double vasectomy Todd, a.k. Adidectomy, Todd. My wife, Tacey, who got roped into it during COVID and never left.
Starting point is 00:14:03 Dr. Scott, the traditional Chinese medicine provider, gave me street cred with a one. alternative medicine assholes, DNP Carissa, P.A. Lydia, N.P. Melb, who added some spice and autoimmune diseases to the mix. And last but not least, my friend Gback, the goat, who left us too soon. And he taught us all we need to get our fucking calcium scores done and not ignore chest pain when it happens. Anyway, we're not your medical providers. Take anything you hear with a grain of salt. Don't act on anything you hear without talking. can get over with your health care provider. Now, if I can turn this shit off.
Starting point is 00:14:42 There we go. Thank you. Thank you, anybody. Thank you for being here. Hello, Hackomania. Hello, Lucy. Hello. I have never been happier to be sitting next to a doctor.
Starting point is 00:14:57 Really? Yeah, never. I could use my complimentary pap smear joke, but I did that at the creep-off roast. I'm going to give Lucy. see a complimentary pap smear. And by complimentary, I mean, damn, girl, that thing looking good.
Starting point is 00:15:13 So, it worked twice. It was Jenny Jingles last time. Anyway, do you have anything for me or do you want to go straight into the questions? I think that we should go straight into the questions because we have so many wonderful questions from everybody from the lobby. There's been a lot of great questions.
Starting point is 00:15:29 All right. Number one thing, don't take advice from some asshole on the radio. I've got to get the volume up on that. Sorry. Thank you, Ronnie B. Number one thing, don't take advice from some asshole on the radio. All right, what you got? Oh, come on.
Starting point is 00:15:43 That's the only person that I ever want to take advice from. All right, first up, we have, oh, this one is actually signed. Very exciting, yes. Dear Dr. Steve, how do I turn my microplastics in my balls into micro-inches on my shaft? Oh, excellent. And it is actually, it's signed trucker Andy, but then it's crossed out and it says Carl. So I'm not actually 100% sure who that came from. Yeah, so actually, well, microplastics is an issue.
Starting point is 00:16:14 We're finding microplastics everywhere, and there is a fertility rate decline in humans. But the really more interesting thing is, because who cares, is how do you, how do you, how do you lengthen your penis? No, that's a great question. And the truth is it's very difficult to do. lengthening it, there is a device and it's got a Velcro ring that goes under the Roman
Starting point is 00:16:44 War helmet and then one that goes at the base of the penis and then there are turnbuckles and you can you can turn these things every day to kind of stretch things. Let's try to turn it to stretch the penis over time and they'll use this for people who have Peroni's disease. You guys are familiar with Peroni's disease, right? Peroni's disease is when you have whiskey dick and the woman is on top, don't ever give her control, guys. And then when she thrust down and you've got a semi-soft penis and it bends it in half and actually fractures the penis.
Starting point is 00:17:24 This is a real thing. And a penis fracture causes scar tissue where the fracture was, and the penis will always bend toward the scar because the scar is not elastic, right? So you've got elastic sheath, and then you've got an inelastic scar, and it'll always bend in that direction. It can be very painful.
Starting point is 00:17:45 Well, they'll use this device for those people sometimes, and they've tried to utilize it for penis lengthening, and what they've found is that, indeed, it actually works, but it's a quarter of an inch. So it's not worth it. It's not worth walking around these terms. burn buckles on your cock. I don't know that I would
Starting point is 00:18:05 be worth it. It might be worth it. But Lucy, let me ask you something. Yes. I mean, you're a woman. Yes. Right? True. Okay. So there, would you say
Starting point is 00:18:19 girth or length is more important? I would prefer girth. There you go. So girth... Both are relatively unimportant. Okay, interesting. Yeah, I know. That's what you... I said that.
Starting point is 00:18:30 Yeah. It's, it's, knowing the anatomy, knowing female anatomy actually helps you to be a better male lover, but, uh, girth is usually what women say is more important than length, because just banging, you know, your, the tip of your cock banging their cervix is, doesn't feel that great. But they, but having a nice girthy penis, you know, going in and out, it makes a difference. So do it one more time, though. You can increase the girth of your penis by using the same stuff that they use to do fillers and lips. Now, I'm not recommending this, but you can make a ribbed, so it's ripped for her pleasure, right, instead of using a condom. Now, the other way that you can enlarge your penis is just by using a, you know, using a penile cover that's made. for that. So if you're having problems with that, you know, satisfying your partner, whoever it is, you can get a sheath that you can put over your penis that can make it longer and girthier. So there you go. I feel wonderfully educated right now. That's the thing. By the way,
Starting point is 00:19:51 there will be a quiz at the end of this. And this is, you know, what a way to end Hacomania's a classroom. Jesus Christ, were you learning things? Okay, what do you got? All right, so this next one, this next one, is wonderful. The question is, what is a hunchback?
Starting point is 00:20:13 Well, weirdly, the AI that I work with anticipated this question, and that these aren't necessarily funny, but they are accurate, so there you go. Let's see if I can get this thing to play, though. I'm imagining the bigger dicks right now. Dear Dr. Steve, there's this guy on the internet with a giant hunchback.
Starting point is 00:20:38 I think it makes him angry and he yells at everyone. What is a hunchback and does it make you gay? Sincerely, Tim from Minnesota. Hunchback, or kifosis, refers to an exaggerated rounding of the upper back, creating a visible curve. Anatomically, our spine has a natural gentle curve. Kyphosis occurs when this curve in the thoracic spine becomes excessive. This involves the vertebrae and the discs between them. In kifosis, the vertebrae or discs become wedge-shaped leading to the forward curvature.
Starting point is 00:21:11 The causes of hunchback vary. Postural kifosis is the most common and often develops due to poor posture. Congenital kiposis is present at birth. In adults, degenerative kiposis can occur due to arthritis, fractures, or degenerative discs. discs. Morbid obesity can be associated with chyphosis, but is normally just a sign that the hunchback has just given up on life. Treatment depends on the cause and severity. For postural chyphosis, physical therapy focusing on posture and strength can be effective. To answer your second question, chyphosis does not predispose one to same-sex attraction, but there is a fetish
Starting point is 00:21:50 community of hunchback lovers that may find your friend attractive if no one else does. Hope this helps Tim Follow us on Patreon at patreon.com slash weird medicine There you go There you go And so
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Starting point is 00:24:31 Okay, sorry. I'm sorry, Patrick. All right, what you got? All right, next up we have, When I drink heavily, then have sex slash ejaculate, I have a constant feeling like I have to urinate. Yes. That's not really a question,
Starting point is 00:24:50 but I would like you to address it anyway. It is a question. I know exactly what this is too. Thank you. So what they're saying is after they ejaculate they have this feeling afterward where they have to urinate. And really what it is is urethral spasm. It's spasm of the urethra. This will happen a lot of times if people are drinking. They have intercourse. They ejaculate. There's semen in the, you know, the urethra, and then they urinate afterward. And it will cause a spasper. asthma of the urethra that feels like a burning and it's it's it's it's you can't ignore it but you can fix it and I'm going to give all the guys out here that have this a tip all you do is take your your penis and dip it in warm water not hot warm water and what that will do is it will relax the smooth muscle in there and that weird horrible feeling of it's like an itching and I'm burning, and I've got to urinate, but there's nothing there that will completely go away.
Starting point is 00:25:58 So that's worth your whole admission to Hacomania. I have never been happier to be a woman. Yes. Well, the problem with being a woman is your ureth is so short that bacteria can get in there very easily, and then you get a lot of urinary tract infection. That's one thing about having a, you know, a car. is it's much less likely that bacteria is going to work its way in there backwards. Yeah, but I just have to dip it in hot water.
Starting point is 00:26:29 Yeah, right? Well, it makes it feel good. Warm water. I'm sorry, thank you. Warm water. Thank you. Very appreciated. Okay.
Starting point is 00:26:37 Yeah, you want to do that one? All right, so this next one, again, very relevant to everybody here. What would make somebody's lips purple? So, this is a thing called... called cyanosis and cyanosis is caused by lack of oxygen in the bloodstream and it can be caused by bad valves in the heart some people will have you know adults will have valves that weren't repaired when they were kids and they will exercise and they'll get purple lips also you can do it by just you know painting your lips purple or you can be this guy so listen he's a friend
Starting point is 00:27:22 mine, but you know, the purple lips thing is hilarious, that people keep asking about it, and he gets madder and matter, but you can see what the problem is. The problem is that ring light behind him. Because the ring light
Starting point is 00:27:38 is not, he, Opie has very thin lips and the angle of his lips with that ring light casts a shadow in his mouth. I sent him a professional, a a professional
Starting point is 00:27:52 like Clegglight for his podcast and I told him just do this and you know the other thing is well okay it's the same problem right and now
Starting point is 00:28:08 this is him using my light they use it at Gebbhart's but he doesn't use it at home he still uses that that stupid ring light with you know he's ruining the view behind him too because you just see the big ring and just put it,
Starting point is 00:28:23 oh, put it off to the side. That's all you have to do. Just put it off to the side. And you can see, now, this is Ope with the filter on, of course, right? And then this is without the filter. All right. So anyway, that's just stupid.
Starting point is 00:28:39 Anyway, all right. Sorry, Ope. I'm just going to apologize to everybody. Okay. But that's the answer. It is, it's not wine. I know everybody thinks he's up all night drinking wine. That's not it. Because if you look at him right afterward when it goes on the
Starting point is 00:28:54 street, there's no purple lips there. It is purely a trick of lighting. I was the lighting guy at WRAL TV for championship wrestling, so I do have a little bit of, you know, some street credit on that. You know, I appreciate the idea that it's just the lighting, and I'm glad to hear your professional opinion on that. However, whenever I think about some guy telling somebody else about the lighting. I think about John sending Kate, meaning the ring light. So it's just a little... I did feel that way when I sent him that light. It's very romantic. I felt a little bit like John and Kate. So... Very proud of you. All right. Very good. All right. So when we asked people for questions, we said you can ask medical questions. We said you can ask absolutely whatever you
Starting point is 00:29:41 would like. So this question specifically is for you, Dr. Steve. It says, what took you so long to quit from Vinny's tits. Vinny's tits. Wait a minute, I'm Vinny's Stitts. Okay, anyway. Yeah, I should have quit a long time ago, I agree. I mean, I'm 70. I've been up since 3 o'clock Vegas time.
Starting point is 00:30:02 I haven't eaten anything, and the only thing I've drunk was I actually ordered a sweet water IPA, and I got this still water thing, and it was like, I don't even know what I'm doing. I've got my inhaler here in case my lungs go bad because here you go here's here's here's here's here's your old buddy that's my long after COVID and so anyway so yeah I should have quit
Starting point is 00:30:29 a long time ago but oh there's there's palpit again obviously I don't know more purple lips anyway but anyway yeah all right we have another good one this one's for the ladies in the house we've learned about the penises but this one says can your hymen grow back if you don't have sex for a very long time well the vagina an atrophy, but the hymen itself is an anatomical piece of tissue that's there in the embryonic state. And once it's broken, it doesn't grow back. No, it does not grow back. But you can get atrophy if you don't use it enough. Let me see. It says, here, is there a technique medically speaking to make a woman squirt? Yeah, yeah, there's a second question. Use it. It also says love you. I would
Starting point is 00:31:17 just like to point them out. Thank you. I was written by Cardiff. Let's talk about squirting for a second. People I say it's just piss, and I proved on Anthony Kumia's show that it is not just piss, but a lot of it is piss. So there's female ejaculation, which is a milky sort of thick secretion from the skein's glands, which are analogous to the male prostate. And they're on either side of the vagina and the sort of nestled in the vulva in there. And then there is coital incontinence. Now, coital incontinence is a completely different beast altogether where, and they did a study on this where they shoved an ultrasound probe into a woman's vagina and then, you know,
Starting point is 00:32:15 diddle her clitoris to stimulate her, and they watched as her bladder filled up. Oh, yeah. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You're right. Hang on. Here we go. So, yeah, they waited until her bladder filled up with fluid. So, and it turned out that this fluid was almost pure, it was pure water. It wasn't urine in the sense that it smelled or it had uric acid in it. It was, and it was something that was only generated in these women's bladders when they were sexually aroused. So you can say it's piss. If by piss you mean fluid coming from the bladder, okay, right, it's piss.
Starting point is 00:33:12 but it is it's special piss in that it has no odor or chemicals other than just H2O so that's why a lot of guys who really enjoy this will say I've you know tasted it I quaff it I drink it and it's different than piss and they're right in that regard because it's it's sweet and and just pure water right so so that's so that's so So there is quital incontinence, and which one do you do? Please. Okay. I have follow-up questions, but let's wait for those. Okay, there's coital incontinence, and there's female ejaculation.
Starting point is 00:33:52 The tricky thing is that some women do one, some do the other, and some do both, and that's where it's confusing. So on Anthony's show, they had a porn star who was known to, you know, squirt, and I've never seen anything like it. I mean, it was just pouring out of her, just constantly pouring out. of her for like the whole 30 minutes we were doing this thing and they had Dr. Bobo there catching catching some of the fluid and I sent Anthony a test kit for prostate specific antigen and in fact there was prosthetic specific antigen in
Starting point is 00:34:32 that fluid that cannot be just coming from the bladder bladder fluid would never have that so we proved that it's not just piss although in her case It was, like I said, 99% piss and 1% something else, but it's not just the one thing. Not just the one thing. Okay, so if I were to eat a lot of asparagus, and then I squirt it everywhere. Yeah, it would stink. It stinks. Okay.
Starting point is 00:34:58 Now, okay, let's talk about asparagus piss. So this is another one of those where some people do it and some don't. Some people produce the odor, which is a sulfur-containing compound that should, should be broken down before it hits the bladder, but for some reason there's a pro, you know, there's a, there's a molecule that gets cleaved and then is very volatile and you can smell it. And but not everybody produces it. And the weird thing is that not everybody can smell it either. So that's where the confusion and the arguments come from, or people say, oh, it's bullshit or whatever, because one person could be voiding their bladder
Starting point is 00:35:39 and a urinal and they can smell it and the person sitting next to them can't and they're like well come here you know can you smell this and they're like and they can't smell it and go no you're full of shit but they really figure they just wanted to look at your dick what so but so it's very confusing and the reason that it's never been completely elucidated in science how are you going to fund that i mean i'm going to apply for a grant for asparagus piss. It's just not going to happen. You can't get the money for it.
Starting point is 00:36:14 And there's no money in it. Even if you did discover it, there's no way that anybody can make any money off of it. And unfortunately, that's medical science these days. If you can't make money off of it, they're not going to do the study. So that's how much we know. That's probably how much we'll ever know.
Starting point is 00:36:31 All right? We only have two questions left, I think. Oh, OK. Well, do you want to do the, OK. So everybody. We've got some prizes. Now, they're not great. Don't get accepted.
Starting point is 00:36:47 But one of them is historic, and then their other ones are just cool. So everybody got, does everybody have a... Who doesn't have gloves? Anybody not have gloves? Here, let me throw. There you go. Thanks, man. Oh, well, it's okay.
Starting point is 00:37:04 We'll just... Here, okay. All right, so what we want to do, I'm great at this. You guys have pens on your table, and this has never been done before, so I want to get a picture from up here if you guys do this. And what I want to do is the Howie Mandel, although Howie Mandel did not invent this trick.
Starting point is 00:37:26 If anybody else wants gloves, just come on up, and you can get them. We'll give them to you. And what we're going to do is you're going to mark them so that you can remember, if I pick one up, you can tell me that it's yours. And then those people will win a prize. And so what we're going to do is we're going to blow these things up. We're going to shoot them at the stage, okay? We'll try.
Starting point is 00:37:47 And it'll look funny from here and then when we post it, you'll see why it's cool. All right? So let me demonstrate how you do this first. The first thing you want to do, now, wait a minute. If you're latex allergic, do not do this. I don't want to have to be giving CPR to somebody tonight. So I'm just, and if you have wounds on your face or anything, just anything where you're going to hurt yourself, don't do it, okay? So you basically just do this.
Starting point is 00:38:15 Oh, yeah. Like that. All right? But shoot them at us, and then the ones that land on the stage, we'll pick them up and we'll give those people prizes. So one of the prizes is the original Dablers Anonymous shirt. The one that got me a phone call from the board of medical examiners. And then we also have copies of the Dabler or Dabbleverse card game called Wet Brain. And so, all right?
Starting point is 00:38:59 So if you guys want to do it, let me get my phone out because I want to take pictures of you doing this. And if it sucks, don't worry about it. I'll just throw some card games out. I'll open my shirt. It'll be great. All right. Let's see. Do I have any music for this?
Starting point is 00:39:15 No. Oh, we can use the sexy sax. Yeah, that's exactly what you use for this. Oh, my God. Yeah, y'all don't. I saw you. Well, just throw it up here then. All right, so Lucy's going to pick up.
Starting point is 00:40:03 Got a few more to do? Okay, this dude's doing it. He's got, oh, that was a good one. Okay, we've got a couple more. Oh, good one. All right. That's a winner. Okay, you didn't mark it, but I know who you are, so here you go.
Starting point is 00:40:27 All right, you got any other ones? Anybody mark them? Okay, wait a minute. Who's Ginny? Oh, I thought Johnny. I thought I would say Johnny's jingles. Oops, sorry, honey. I'm sorry, that's a terrible joke. Everybody's great at throwing things right now.
Starting point is 00:40:49 Oh, okay. This looks like it says Gopelon. That's what does that say? Anybody recognize that one? Jordan. It's Jordan! Oh, Jordan! All right, well.
Starting point is 00:41:05 Okay, okay, okay. Can you read more? Yeah, we'll do one more and then somebody gets the down. Somebody from Stone Mountain? That's you. Yeah. Lucy would bring it out. And...
Starting point is 00:41:26 That says Johnny jingles again. Oh, Bobcat, who's Bobcat? There you go. This is the reason for everyone. There you go. All right. Very good. You guys did great.
Starting point is 00:41:43 Thank you. All right. That was beautiful. It was it. It felt like fireworks. Do you have any more questions? I smell the sparagus. It was great.
Starting point is 00:41:53 Yes, I do have more questions. I do. Oops. Sorry, not that. There we go. This is a two-part question. I think I'll ask you both parts together, and you can answer them as you would please. The first part is, what is your opinion on GLP-1 drugs, which I think are the weight-loss drugs?
Starting point is 00:42:12 But the second part is equally important. It says, what part of Carl's gayness causes him to crave espresso martinis? Well, we have an answer to the second half coming up in one of those questions. GLP-1s are, they're fine. The problem with these drugs are that when you take them for weight loss, what I've found is that people will lose 20, 30, 40 pounds, and if they stop the GLP1, their weight just comes back. It comes back plus 10. So, but something that a really interesting study came out recently that showed that the
Starting point is 00:42:58 The GLP-1s may have anti-cancer activity, so now we're going to see these things coming out. We're going to see even more of them over time. So, yeah. So I'm okay with them, but that's the problem. It's not a panacea. You still got to do the work, and, you know, that's the sucky part of trying to lose weight because we've got to do the work. Anyway, what do you got?
Starting point is 00:43:22 All right, all right, all right. What is club-footed? Well, the AI just happened to have an answer to that one, too. I hate it already. Dear Dr. Steve, what is a club foot and does it make you gay? I will hang up and listen. Sincerely, Tim, from Minnesota. Well, Tim, clubfoot is a common birth defect where one or both of a baby's feet are twisted out of shape. It involves the bones, muscles, tendons, and ligaments in the foot and ankle.
Starting point is 00:43:56 It's believed to be a combination of genetic. and environmental factors during pregnancy. The good news is that Clubfoot is highly treatable. This involves gently manipulating the foot into the correct position and then applying a series of casts which gradually stretches the soft tissues. Following the casting, a brace is typically worn to maintain the correction. With timely intervention, children with Clubfoot can lead full and active lives. Regarding your second question, despite opinions to the contrary, Clubfoot does not necessarily
Starting point is 00:44:28 predispose one to same-sex attraction. But given an infinite series of events, anything can happen. Just do it. For more medicine and science news, check out weird medicine on patreon.com. I'm sorry, Carl. Do you have any more questions? I think that that was all the questions. Okay. So we're going to make this short and sweet today.
Starting point is 00:44:53 We've got a couple of things that I want to do. You know, going forward, what I really plan on doing is more sort of documentary-style stuff. And, you know, I'm going to do a casino gambling channel and one on Appalach and English. But I'm still going to do some medical stuff. And, you know, I've got people who watch reruns of Honey Boo Boo Boo. They have to have subtitles. It's, she's speaking English. and they have English subtitles under there
Starting point is 00:45:27 and so I realized that there's a whole part of the country that doesn't understand this dialect and it is really kind of the original American dialect so I'm going to do a channel on that too I know it sounds boring but I do want to show you one of the sort of documentary style
Starting point is 00:45:45 things that I would like to do and that is this one and then we're going to wrap up with a little thing Hey, it's your old pal, Dr. Steve, and this week, Sam asks, When I'm intimate with my girlfriend, I detect a distinct fishy odor coming from her nether region. What could be causing this? There's anything we can do about it? Well, Sam, this is a very common problem with a reasonably straightforward answer.
Starting point is 00:46:14 The vaginal flora, a term we used to describe the microorganisms that lie in the membrane of the vagina, are generally dominated by a very benign and pleasant bacteria called lactobacillus. I think it's a sign of the sense of humor of the creator of the universe that the same bacteria that creates a favorable vaginal environment also makes yogurt. If for some reason the lactobacillus is decimated by antibiotics or changes in the vaginal environment, other bacteria can move in and ruin the neighborhood, so to speak. Scented soaps, duches, sexual activity, etc., can increase the risk of bacteria that can invade and cause the fishy odor that you've noticed, including Gardnerlla, bacteriides,
Starting point is 00:47:03 fusobacterium, and more. To diagnose this condition called bacterial vaginosis, health care providers will take a sample of vaginal fluid and look at it under the microscope. Seeing bacteria adhering to cells is a strong clue that bacterial vaginosis is the culprit. In fact, we call these markers clue cells. Another confirmatory test is to take the fluid sample and drop a strong base like potassium hydroxide on the slide and take a whiff. If a strong fishy smell is noted, the diagnosis can be made.
Starting point is 00:47:40 Coincidentally, we call that the whiff test. So not every medical term is cryptic, at least not when people. anatomy is concerned. Ultimately, treatment consists of killing off the bad bacteria and allowing the lactobacillus to take over again. One way to hasten the lactobacillus taking over is to use plain, cultured yogurt mixed with water in a vaginal rinse, which helps to replenish the good bacteria. If you're having trouble bringing this up to your paramour, take her on a nice outing to a fish market. Do your best impression of a sightless person and shout, hello!
Starting point is 00:48:17 ladies at the top of your lungs. She'll get the message and will love you for being such a caring and supportive partner. There you go. Oh, how did that get in there? God damn it, Carl.
Starting point is 00:48:37 That's Carl's fault. It just keeps going. It never stops. All right, very good. All right. Well, you know what? I thought, you know, Tuckie was not really born when Ray DeVito ejaculated into a puppet. But rather, when Rocco claimed the puppet could get more views than Chad's live stream. And he was right. He's on his 70th show or more. I thought it'd be fun to see if a puppet doing quote-unquote comedy could get more laughs than stuff. Stuttering John's stand-up. But not just any puppet, Myrtle's cousin Cletus.
Starting point is 00:49:25 And not just any comedy, but one shitty pun after another. Now, are you willing to witness this experiment? Yes! It'll either be a total train wreck in which I'll have to admit that Stuttering John is, in fact, funnier than a hillbilly puppet. Not really much of a victory, but he's got to take his w's where he can get him. All right. So let's see, here.
Starting point is 00:49:47 Let's get Cletus's music going here. This is really going to suck. Well, howdy-do, Miss Top Box? You surely are a sight for sore eyes. Lordy Day, you're finer than a frog hair split four ways. I hear some fellers say you're one of them lady boys. Well, them's are some of them funny fellers, if you know what I mean.
Starting point is 00:50:17 They don't know their holes from an ass in the ground, and that's a fact. Even if you were, I'd give it to you. We'd just ignore that old birth defect if, and you know what I mean. Now, Miss Lucy, I'm addicted to break fluid, but that's okay. I can stop any time I want. Well, cold slough. What did one eye say to the other, and betwixt you and me, something smells? Because, you know, there's two eyes and there's a nose in there, all right.
Starting point is 00:50:50 Cleetus likes to explain the jokes. It's working. What do you say to a llama that likes to go to picnics? What? I'll pack a lunch. Oh, cold slow. Cold slow. Wait a minute.
Starting point is 00:51:02 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Now, you know, I can't stand them Russian dolls. They're so full of them sales. Cold slaw, Coleslaw.
Starting point is 00:51:25 Now, why couldn't the pony sing in church? Why? He was a little horse. Look, cold sloth. The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar. It was a little tense. Oh, because, you know, them for ten. Ms. Law.
Starting point is 00:51:45 Ms. Lucy, I'm going to give you some advice. Don't ever believe what an Adam says, because they make up everything. You gotta think about that for a minute, Coleslaw. That's one of them physics jokes, don't you know? Well, how does Miss Lucy hold her liquor by his ears, of course? Well, nobody ever heard that in before. Have you heard about the corduroy pillars? Tell me more.
Starting point is 00:52:17 They're making headlines. Because, you know, corduroy, well, anyway, corduroy's got them lines on it. All right. It's only a couple more. I went to the zoo the other day, Miss Lucy. You know all they had was a dog in a cage. it was a shit zoo.
Starting point is 00:52:45 That's right. That's right. Kohl's law. Oh, wait. Oh, shit got on another page. Hey, all the turlets in the Las Vegas Police Department were stolen yesterday. Cops have nothing to go on.
Starting point is 00:53:02 Because, you know. All right. Oh, hey, Miss Lucy, why do people love Switzerland so much? Why, Cletus? Well, the flag is a big plus. You gotta think about that? All right, we're almost done.
Starting point is 00:53:19 Don't you worry you're pretty heading on. Here, let's do this and right here. Read this and Miss Lucy. Can you believe it? The milkman made a pass at me. How dare you? Oh, there you go. Well, Miss Lucy, you got all gussied up in your mind.
Starting point is 00:53:37 You're my sexy nurse's uniform. Here's a rip-tickler, furry. Why did the nurse need a red crayon? Why? Well, she needed to draw blood, don't you know? Oh, colds. There you go. All right.
Starting point is 00:53:56 Oh, Cletus. Lastly, lastly, you're welcome, lastly. Why do teenage girls always travel in odd-numbered groups? because they just can't even Oh, there you go Well, thank you, thank I'll be at Piccadilly cafeteria all week With your ticket
Starting point is 00:54:15 You can get a coupon for $2 off any jello item All right, thank you very much Suck it, Tokey, you damn son of a bitch That's how you do it You're nice Amazing Amazing I loved it
Starting point is 00:54:34 Well, thanks everyone Listen, stay tuned for weird medicine adjacent content on Rumble, SiriusXM, Blaze TV, anywhere you find podcasts. The Sirius XM crowd, thank you for indulging me for 20 years. I'll never forget what you did for me, and that includes Anthony Coomia, Jim Norton, OPEQ's, Eric Nagel, Jim McClure, Sam Roberts, Travis, Tiff, Dennis Falcone, Lewis Johnson, Paul Offcharski, and the brass upstairs, including steep ladder. Lastly, and definitely not, Tim Sabian, who tried to unsuccessfully have my show taken off the year 12 years ago. Kiss my ass, Tim. And thanks to you all for coming to this live edition of Weird Medicine. Oh, wait, I almost forgot.
Starting point is 00:55:26 Your maternal parents' nether region. I'm sorry. Your matriarch's meat wallet. your mom's box. All right, thanks. Totally undesigned. Totally undesigned. Dr. Steve! Dr. Steve! Dr. Steve! Dr. Steve! Dr. Steve! Dr. Steve!
Starting point is 00:56:23 Thank you, thank you. Let's go drink! All right. Go, go. Thank you, thank you, guys. So much. X's Alien Earth, the official podcast. Each week, host Adam Rogers is joined by guests, including the show's creator, cast, and crew,
Starting point is 00:57:11 in this exclusive companion podcast. They will explore story elements, deep dive into character motivations, and offer an episode by episode behind the scenes breakdown of each terrifying chapter in this new series. Search FX's Alien Earth, wherever you listen to podcasts.

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