Weird Medicine: The Podcast - 657 - Blast From the Past - BIG JO DATING GAME

Episode Date: April 25, 2026

This is episode 100 - when everything was fun and we thought we were actually going somewhere with this. This episode is only available here, now, and all episodes

It's something else here now. Something new. From. Exclusively on Paramount Plus. It's the series Stephen King calls scary as hell. Everything here is impossible, but it's also real. Sci-fi Vision calls it the best show streaming right now. We're running out of time and we still don't know the rules.

Don't miss what the movie blog calls something you need to watch. Saving those children is how we all go home. From binge all episodes exclusively on Paramount Plus. to Weird Medicine with Dr. Steve on the Riotcast Network, Riotcast.com. It's your old pal, Dr. Steve. I recently bought a car, and during the process, I thought to myself, there has to be a better way. What a pain.

Then I heard about Truecar.com, a new way to buy a car. At Truecar.com, you actually see what others paid for the car you're looking for in your area. So you know when you're getting a great price. I went to Truecar.com and found I would have saved $2,000. I recommend you do the same. At Truecar.com, just take your savings certificate to a Truecar certified dealer and forget about the hassle of the old way to buy a car. Truecar users save an average of $3,000 off the sticker price.

So if you're ready to buy a car, why wouldn't you go to Truecar.com? Negotiation-free, guaranteed savings. A hassle-free experience and a TrueCard certified dealer that is committed to a new and better way to buy a car. Save time, save money, never overpay. Visit truecar.com today. Weird medicine contains mature content and may be offensive to some listeners. I've got diphtheria crushing my esophagus. I've got subal of herbs stripping from my nose. I've got the leprosy of the heartbell, exacerbating my incredible woes. I want to take my brain out and plastic with the wave, an ultrasonic, agographic, and a pulsating shave. I want a magic pill.

equivalent to citizen cane. If I don't, I think I'm doomed, then I'll out for my disease. The countdown to the letdown is over. In Nigeria, the word for condom is oak puamu, which means penis hat.

Don't be an oak puamu, Pia, John. Don't worry. From Tennessee, where we call condom's everlasting bubble gum, it's weird medicine, the first and still only uncensored medical show in the history of radio, now a podcast.

Dr. Steve with my little pal, P.A. John. Hello, John. Hello, Steve. Also have with me in the studio, Dr. Scott, the quaint, attractive young acupunctrist. Hello, Dr. Scott. Good afternoon, Dr. Steve. We also have GVAC, the cackling coyote with corrupted concrete cowpies. Hello, GVAC. Awesome.

I like that. Thank you. How are we doing, everybody? And we also have a studio audience. Hello, everybody. Oh, geez. Well, Chef Mike brought his bloody marries, and I think this show is probably going to last 20 minutes before everybody's on the floor. This is a show for people who would never listen to a medical show on the radio or the Internet.

If you've got a question, you're embarrassed to take to a regular medical provider. If you can't find an answer anywhere else, give us a call. 347-66-4-33. That's 347. Pooh-head. If you're listening to us live, the number is 754-2-27. 373647. That's 754. Double-duce penis. Or 754. Bear knit, my friend.

Follow our Twitter. Maybe we'll get to see a couple of those today with Mike's Bloody Mary's and everybody says. But with our luck, it'll be Josh and Adam. Look at my tits, Dr. Steve. Visit our website at Weird Medicine.com for podcast Medical news and stuff you can buy or go to our new merchandise store at riotcast.com and click merchandise or go to cafepress.com slash weird medicine. Most importantly, we are not your medical providers. Take everything you hear with a grain of salt. Don't act on anything you're at this show without talking it over with your doctor, nurse practitioner, physician, physician,

pharmacist, chiropractor, or whatever. All right. Well, welcome to show 100. And I, you know, I hesitated to make a big deal out of this. We've talked about this before. If we have had six fingers on each hand, we would be celebrating show 144. That's the only reason we're celebrating show 100 is because we have 10 fingers. Most of us. As Opie said, I loved how, yeah, good point. We are in East Tennessee. I liked how we are in Upper East Tennessee. Uh-oh, here we go. It's already started. Yeah, there we go. I'm on call. Celebrity number one. Here, um, oh, never mind. They hung up. Okay, hell of them.

So, and as Opie said, oh, you guys are so cute with your little podcast doing one hour a week, and he's right. He's absolutely right. For us, 100 shows mean we've been doing this for less than two years with Riotcast. Now, we've done way more than 100 shows for

serious XM. And it also means we've done approximately 100 hours of radio when we get done with this one. Right. Which means that's about five weeks, of what Ope and Anthony do. Yeah. You know?

And they did their 100th show 20 some years ago. So it puts it into perspective, but you've got to have some reason to celebrate some fucking thing. But they didn't do a medical podcast. That's right. That's right. So anyway. All right.

Let me get the live reads out of the way. And then we'll get to the show. It's going to be a great show. We've got a bunch of guests here. We've got Marcus and Andrea from Charlotte, the two crazy weirdos that drive up here first for Marcus's birthday. And what was funny was Andrea the first time she emailed me, she said, how much are tickets to go to a weird medicine day?

Oh, shit. We should have sold tickets? I know. That's a great thought. Ding, ding, ding, there's an idea. And then we've got Dr. Robert, who flew here from Baltimore to be here for this bullshit. And I think he asked me how much of it. it costs to get into the studio too.

You know what it costs you? It costs you a lack of self-esteem and a six-pack of beer. Low morals. And more morals. And then we've got Josh and, oh shit, Adam, who their 3D printing technique is still in our studio from last time. and they've been long-term listeners of the show, and we're glad to see you guys. We're going to talk to everybody.

And then we have a new collaborative effort between brother Joe Kumia and me that we will play later in the show. It's one of my favorite song parodies that have ever been done, but of course, because I had something to do with that. Of course. And then we also have a special event we're going to do

because Big Joe has not been on the show in quite a long time. and she's single and we've got some single friends. We're going to do Big Joe dating game. Oh, love is in the air. So that is going to be awesome. And now listen, if you want to help support Riotcast and Weird Medicine, if you're going to buy something online, look at Amazon.com.

Bookmark and use Amazon. Dottersteve.com. It's no cost to you, and it helps keep Weird Medicine on the air. Just buy everything from Amazon. and put the local small businesses out of their misery. Will you please? I am a keep money local guy. I really am, but I buy a ton of shit from Amazon.

But anyway, thanks for supporting the show and for going to Amazon. Dottersteve.com before you shop and bookmark it. And thank you to everyone who's using this link. We notice and we appreciate Amazon. Dottersteve.com. And you can spell it either way. You can spell it out or do DR. Steve.

I bought both of them. Also, don't forget Gamefly, if you've got a PS3, PS4, Xbox 1, any game system, including Mac or PC, you need a Gamefly account if you play any games at all. And if you go to Gamefly.com slash fluid, you will get a two-disc, two-week free trial, which is a $22.95 value. Gamefly, if you don't know, is like Netflix for games. You go online and you tell them which games you want, and then they send you your first one. You play it until you're sick of it, put it back in the envelope, drop it in the mail. It's prepaid, and then they'll turn around and get you your next game. And I'm telling you, if you've ever bought one game that you've played once and said this game sucks,

you should have had a gameplay account, you would have saved money. Yep. Even if it was a used game? Well, it depends on what you paid for it, PA, John. But most of the games right now are like $59. And Gamefly account is something like $8 a month, something like that. And I've had games that we got that we were really excited about. And we said, eh, this sucks.

And we sent it back. And two days later, three days later, we had the next game in our queue. So go to gamefly.com slash fluid. Gamefly.com. com slash fluid. And then also checked out tweaked audio. They've got the best earbuds in the business for the money, anywhere from $14 to $49. bucks and they even have one set of earbuds that are made out of wood and look cool.

And these things, all of us in the studio have used these. We're all still using them. My kids are using theirs. They're great. So go to tweakedaadio.com and use offer code fluid, and you will get 33% off your order. That's like getting two for the, I'm sorry, three for the price of two or one for the price of two-thirds of one. So there you go. there's a live rate. Thank you for doing all of those things. And also check out

truecar.com. I'm pissed that they came on as a sponsor one week after I bought my new car because I would have saved two grand. So there you go. What was that weird? Oh, it's somebody calling on the Skype line, which is just, I don't know, I don't understand. Another celebrity calling to wish us success after a hundred shows. Maybe, maybe. By the way, I hit the lottery the other day. What? Yes, I absolutely did. I won the lottery. Why are you doing this? Obligated. Hang on a say. I don't even know if I can answer this.

Try it. Why is that happening? Now, who's that? Not me. Not me. This is so awesome. Let's put them on speaker phone. What is your phone?

Hello, yes. Hello? Your patient is dead. Hey, lady trucker. Why are you calling on this line? Call on the real line, will you? Oh, you know why you can't? You can't.

It's bids. I'm sorry. Okay, so Lady Trucker, she has our old number because she's a faithful listener to the show. Thank you for calling in, Lady Trucker. I've got you on speakerphone. Well, I thank you. Thank you very much. Have you got your personal situation worked out? Oh, you are? Okay. Okay, all right. Well, listen, we definitely want to talk to you about that. This is probably not the venue because everybody is drunk as hell already off of Chef Mike's Bloody Mary's, which we will get his recipe for

but I really appreciate you calling in for being a faithful fan of the show. We really appreciate it. We appreciate your support. Thanks. That's Lady Trucker calling in on the hotline. Thank you, L.C. Stay hot up there at Minnesota. She had the hotline number.

Who knew? That's fantastic. Oh, yeah, so I won the lottery. Yeah, yeah. So? Yeah. Do tell? Forty bucks, so fuck all of y'all.

Wow. Awesome. Awesome. Yeah. Scratch off? Yeah, it was a scratch off. Dr. Scott, we had an email from someone who tried to go to your website. Now, Dr. Scott, as you all know, is an acupunctrists and a traditional Chinese medical specialist.

And he has a website called simplyurbals.net. That's correct. And he's selling, well, you take 30 seconds because this is. is a special show. Yes, it's an organic, all-natural supplements for energy and for stress. Yeah, there you go. And that's, that's the bottom line. Very good. It's the best thing ever made. So I got this guy emailed me and he said, when I went to Dr. Scott's website, I got some weird porn site and he had gone to, damn, and it was a transgendered website, and he went to Lucky, son of, simplyherballs.com.

That one extra L makes a huge difference. That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. I knew I should have bought that one. All right. Thanks for being here. We've got a bunch of phone calls already. We need to take them. And then we need to talk to Dr. Robert, who traveled the farthest way.

We'll go from farthest to nearest. So let's take a couple of these phone calls. Area code 940. BJ from Texas, you're on Weird Medicine. Hello, Dr. Tori. Hey, I have been told that I have something called neuron mirroring. Okay. I'm experiencing, and I can see someone on TV or out on the street or whatever,

and they fall down or about to fall down or something like that, and I get the sensation that comes all over my body, like a quick flash. and I have looked online to try to find out what it is, but it's a bunch of medical jargon, and I don't understand it. Do you have any idea on what causes that? Absolutely. What you're describing is exactly what you said it is. It's called neuron mirroring, and it's when you experience physically something that you're seeing someone else doing. And I have this with my kids, because I have a lot of empathy or, you know, concern for my kids, and when they fall down, it hurts me. And I remember I had a

prostate infection once and every time my kids would fall and they were like two and three so they were falling a lot my my taint would clinch oh man and i would get this horrendous prostate pain and you would ooze some stuff yeah so neuron mirroring is a real thing uh no one really knows why we have this it probably has something to do with socialization so that you can empathize with other people but it may also have something to do with how we learn to do things as kids you know When we see somebody do something, then our body kind of processes it through the motor portion of our brain to kind of lock it in. It's kind of like a rehearsal for doing it yourself. And I think that happens a lot with kids playing baseball.

They get out there and all of a sudden they can swing a bat perfectly because they've watched a lot of other people do it. And some of that is that neuron mirroring. Is it like me watching a man and a woman have sex and every time I see it, I get a heart on it? That's exactly, but I think, did you watch America's Got Talent and they had that guy on there called Horse? And his whole talent was getting hit in the nuts. And he would jump on like a trampoline and then land on a sawhorse, you know, on his nuts. How do you discover this talent? Yeah, I don't know.

Ask John. Hey, let's see, Wendy, can you answer this and then just hang on a second. Come here, come here, come here, come here, come here. It's the hospital calling. One of his patients has died. Just take a message. Take a message. Just talk to him.

Just talk to him. Say your answer. Oh, forget it. Jesus Christ. I just answered it. See, they're already wasted it. He gave you say hello. He already answered it. Okay, if they called back.

I'm sorry. That's okay. Don't worry about it. You're fired. Go, go, go, go, go. That's drunk-ass Wendy. Drunk Wendy. How do I answer?

How do you answer a phone? Let's demote her back to beer, girl. I never liked you. All right, BJ, does that somehow answer your question a little bit? I got to keep moving. We've got a crap load of phone calls. Yeah, more or less. And just one quick thing, this just started a couple of years ago.

I'm 68 years old, so I don't know if that has an emailing. Yeah, I don't know why it would just... This just started a couple of years ago. Yeah. I tell you what, let me do some more research on that. Email me, Weird Medicine at Riotcast.com. I'll look and see if that means anything. all of a sudden starts up, you just may have become a very empathetic person as an older man.

He needs to try my stress less. Yeah, you think so? No, seriously. I mean, I'm not pimping my product. What this is not going to be is an hour and a half commercial for simply herbalst. You just told the whole world that it's simply her balls. There's got to be paid back. All right, BJ.

Hell, check it out if it works. Let us know. We'll send you some samples. You can give Dr. Scott a testimony. Yeah, man. All right, buddy. All right, let's see here. Rich from New Jersey.

Area Code 732. Good. How's it going, man? Hey, Dr. Steve, how are you? Doing great. Good. Good. Got a question for you. About five months ago, I was diagnosed with type two diabetes.

Okay. I'm a driver. My weight really go. I shot up to 440 pounds. they gave me metformin and victosa. Completely changed my lifestyle, completely changed my diet, dropped 85 pounds, and I've kind of like plateaued. I've got my diabetes under control.

I went from a 600 down to a 120. Wow. Way to go. Wow. Congratulations, man. Thank you. I'm looking to try to get back into your, to loosen the weight and getting this off.

Yep. What else can I do? Well, what else do you need to do? It sounds like you, I mean, what's your goal at this point? Because it sounds like you've got your diabetes under control. What's your hemoglobin A1C, by the way? My A1C went from 11.5 to a 57. Wow.

That's probably better than mine, yeah. That's wonderful. That's better than mine. And what's your weight currently? I'm down to 3.3.85. I need to get down to 285. How tall are you? About six foot

Okay I think the hardest thing for the truckers is just Is taking time to make a diet And to take foods with them on the road So they don't have to stop and And I think that's one thing I would say for sure Just make sure that you You take a little bit extra time

And then you go to the grocery store And you buy stuff that you can take on the road So you don't have to stop at the fast food joints And I think that'll help you too But you're doing wonderful things Can you sleep in your truck? I mean, you're over the road trucker?

Yeah, pretty much. I take food with me. Complete cut out all the fried food, all the fast foods, all that junk they sell. Like tuna, like tuna fish, I eat out of the can. The only thing I'd add... The only thing I would add is maybe considering you've got a DVD player in there, I'm guessing, is get a copy of P90. It's 20 minutes a day.

You use resistance bands. You don't have to carry weights with you. and it's a very effective exercise program for toning and strengthening, and it's a little cardiovascular, it's all that stuff. Because at this point, what you want to do is just reduce your risk factors. You know, you don't want to die, and the time that you have when you're alive, you want to be good quality time. So continuing to get the weight off, yes, you need another 100 pounds. You know, I'm big on avoiding carbs if you're diabetic. And it sounds like I made that up.

I mean, that's the standard thing. And doing the exercise every day, you know, you can do it when you get up and do it when you go to bed at night. And it will really, really help. And that P90 is a wonderful regimen because it's short and it's high intensity but brief. But, dude, I'm congratulating you on what you have done. I'm very proud of you and I know you're proud of yourself. And good job, man. You've definitely added significant number of years to your life.

and hopefully good quality ones. Yep. I'm drunk. That's P90? Yeah, P90. And see, the new one is P90X, so you can get P90 on Amazon. Go to Amazon.com and search for P90, and you can buy the resistance bands at the same time. And you just throw them in a bag and go, and it's a great exercise regimen for a trucker.

Yeah, and if he can always email us. I mean, I'm going to give him a couple more things. Yeah, and always email us for more info. and we'll get you because, you know, what we do on the show is abbreviated compared to what we can do by email. We'll help you. All right, buddy. Congratulations, dude. All right.

Keep it up. I like to his word, diabetes. That's the Wilford Brimley way of saying it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. I got diabetes. All right, let's get Amy from Kentucky. Area Code 270. You're on Weird Medicine.

Hey, God. Hey, Amy, is this my Amy? Yeah. Oh, God, she's the greatest. Plug your Twitter feed, by the way. This is, she's, I Talk Funny to You or something like that. Yeah, correct. Okay, but with the letter two, I mean with the number two.

What part of Kentucky are you from? Western. Like over there, Bowling Green? She's very, she's, yeah. Don't talk. Don't be so verbal. I like it. She's giving us these one-word answers.

Okay, now I asked Amy to call in. What's up, Ann? number one, she's extremely attractive. And she is a cancer survivor, too. Is that right? Hooray. Very, very, very, very good. Yeah, awesome.

And she broke her husband's penis. This show and the hole, now formerly the glory hole. Right. I've been a lot of time on the couch listening. These shows saved me. My, humor is a great medicine. Yeah. certainly is. You're not kidding.

Absolutely is. Tell us about breaking your husband's penis, though. Well, in Western Kentucky, we take Ratham Cowboy to a whole new level. Damn. Wow. Do you have a sister? She does. Right. Oh, our sister has big giant boobies, too.

Totally enamored because she has massive tautom. Nice. Steve is a boob guy. I absolutely am. But it's not just boobs, though. You can have big giant boobs. and if they're laying on a big giant gut, that isn't going to do it for me. They're not just fluid, Phil.

It's the tit to gut ratio. They're thin. Yeah, they are big, firm. Nice. We don't believe you. Have you ever touched them to know that they're firm? He's getting on this sister's sister thing. But I played slingshot with her bra.

Actually, a few weeks ago. And they got to be firm. Oh, you're the best ever. Well, okay. Does she have silver dollar nipples? All right, John. So, penile fracture. So this is a real thing.

A lot of guys don't know that you can actually do this. Now, Amy, this normally happens when the guy is maybe less than fully erect. So, you know, like a really erect penis, you like to say a cat couldn't scratch it, right? That's how erect it needs to be normally. And if it's somewhat less erect than that and the woman is on top and she has control, so he's just laying there passively and she is thrusting, she can actually bend the guy's penis if she catches it the wrong way and bend it in half so that it, And it's, when that happens, part of the lining of the inner lining of the penis, which is a, you know, it's a fibrous sheath that holds the shape. If you didn't have that fibrous sheath, it was just elastic.

When you got an erection, your penis filled up with blood, it would just look like a big old bloody water below. It's not supposed to? So, but that sheath can split. And when it splits, that's called a penile fracture. And it can be very painful. and eventually can cause a thing called Peroni's disease, which is where the fracture heals, and what's it going to heal with, scar tissue.

Scar tissue is not elastic, so when the penis becomes erect, it will bend to the side of the penile fracture. And some guys can get an actual L shape, and it's very painful. Ouch. Now, does that... They should call it macaroni's disease, because that would it be in... Right, macaroni's disease.

Very good. So is that kind of the scenario that happened when you broke your husband's slung? Almost, almost. I mean, he probably could have cut diamonds with it that day. Damn. She's talking our language now. I'm only like 100 pounds, so. Yeah.

But that downward thrusting with the woman on top can impart a lot of pounds of pressure on the guy's dick, no question. Yeah, yeah. And it was, I got a hinted to him. He held it out. He didn't say anything until afterwards. And then he said, I think we have a problem. Oh, man. And did he have to go to the emergency room?

He didn't go that day, but after we spoke with you, he went to the doctor. Okay. And, you know, just a couple of, they didn't have to do a full anything. The doctor said they just let the heal up. Now, does his penis go to the left now when it becomes a wreck? No, he did. He healed it very nice. Wow, he's lucky. Hey, let me ask you this.

Let me ask you this. For breaking your man's dick, now, for paybacks for that, if he asked you to suck it at any time, is that kind of a given now? Well, now, he kind of takes it as a badge of honor. My wife broke my dick. Well, this poor bastard he works with what he broke and was off for a month. Holy son. Oh, my God. Because he didn't go to the doctor immediately.

Right. And the coal mines, it's kind of a badge of honor. Yeah. Here comes old rub dick Frank. That's right That's better in pencil dick You're getting it You're kind of the man

Oh that's funny Oh crook Well listen Amy you call any time And we definitely want to get you and your sister both in the studio one of this day So I was just I'm a heartbroken I'm not there but

We'll do it next time Everybody buy a t-shirts They're fantastic Okay Yeah I'm really I'm welcome It's awesome

And you It's soft. Amy, you had tweeting me that it was a real boobhugger, and I still haven't seen picks to prove it. You don't have to put your face on it, but just take a picture so I can retweet it, and so other people will buy the thing. It has nothing to do with us wanting to see your tits. No. No.

No, heaven's no. No. We're not like that. That's disgusting. She'd like to get my sister to fit in this shirt. Oh, please. Oh, my God. I would put hers in there.

Please do that. She only needs one. one in there. That's quite all right. All right. We've got to move on. Thanks, Amy. All right. Love you guys. We love you, too. Love you, have a nice day. This show got sexy quick, huh?

Who knows? With you, assholes all hubba, hubba. All right, hey, Ro, from Long Island. This is one of GVACs fans. Hey, how are you guys? Good, how are you? How are you guys? Awesome. Congratulations on your 100th episode.

Fantastic. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you, Ro. You're welcome. Just to hear GVAC. That's the only reason she listens. Now listen, it goes to show you that talking about nutstick and ass never gets old. That's right.

Yeah, Dr. Robert out there, he asked me, do you guys ever get tired of answering hemorrhoid questions? Like, no. I know. That's what this show is. I know. It's always great. I'm always grabbing my crotch or my stomach or my ass when I'm listening to your show. Fantastic.

So is GVAC. It's true. So is GVAC. Especially after that last one about broke dicks. I'm sitting here wincing in pain holding my... Holding his penis. I know. As if any woman whatever break is there.

Listen, I do have a quick question if you don't mind. Yes, yes, of course. I was wondering, when your urine smells like ammonia really bad, what is that a sign of? Dehydration? Anything else? No, not necessarily. When you have pungent smelling urine, it means you've eaten something that the body didn't fully metabolize. This happens with asparagus.

And the interesting thing about asparagus is that not everyone who eats asparagus makes the smell, and not everyone can smell the smell. And it's a genetic thing. So that's confused people for years because some people say, well, I never smell it. And other people say, I never do it. And that may be true. And when you get someone who does produce the smell, but the other person can't smell it, it makes it very difficult to do research on.

Right, right. But it usually does mean that your urine is more concentrated at that time, because if it was very dilute, there wouldn't be as much odor. Well, it did happen to me once, but the night before I was doing some serious drinking. Yeah, and, yeah, I don't know. Usually when you're drinking, you will have a diuretic effect initially where you'll pee like crazy. And then you may dry out. So, yeah, that's probably what happened is you got a little, you know, a little, your body was conserving fluid.

So it peed out, concentrated urine. I love that. And it stuck. Thank you. From somebody up north, you know, Long Island hearing. That accent just kills me. Do we have an accent? I know.

Hey, thanks, Roe. Do I have an accent? No, not at all. They all talk weird, Roe. Only me and you sound normal. That's right. That's right. You haven't gotten an accent from down there, GVAC. Not yet. Not yet.

All right. We're working on it. Give another 10 years. Hey, we've got a guest on the line, Roe. I've got to go. Be good, Ro. Take care, Ro. Take care. I love you guys.

Thanks. We love you, too. I love you. All right. All right. Well, let's see here if I can get to the right place. There we go. We have on the line. Ashley Green, ladies and gentlemen.

Oh. Hey, how are you? So, how are you? Hang on, Ashley, we're playing your theme song. It's your intro. I'll have a thing. All my goodness. Ashley Green, ladies and gentlemen, hello, Ashley, and thanks for being live on the show.

Hey, welcome, welcome. Oh, well, thank you guys. for having me. Dr. Steve, please, just one time. One more time. Say fluid for me. Fluid. Oh, yes, baby. So what's going on? Well, we have some questions for you from the studio audience, and we've got a couple of calls or questions that came through, and we just thought we'd do them live. Cool. And for people who don't know.

Your viewers have, yeah, go ahead. Go ahead. Sorry. It's a little delay on the Skype line. Gotcha. Go ahead. Oh, yeah, I was just going to say your listeners have some super awesome questions, so I can't wait to see what they throw at me a while. They do, and your bit is one of our most popular bits, by the way. So thank you very much for being a part of this.

I met Ashley through an ad, and I had emailed three or four different escorts, and she was the only one that replied. And now I can see why, because she's really open, and she's cool. Yeah, she's cool. Fucking awesome. Yep. Yes, absolutely.

Hell yeah. All right. All right, Ashley. Here's your first question. Hey, Dr. Steve, I got a question for the prostitutes. I was just wondering if they've ever been asked to service a woman. Thank you. So were you able to hear that, Ashley?

Yes, yes. I heard that very well, and it's a very good question. Now, I don't know if any of you heterosexual men, had ever considered going into the business, but I'm just going to go ahead and tell you, women don't pay. If a woman is that desperate for sex, she'll go to a bar and lower her standards. Oh, okay. That's exactly right.

Now, as far as I have had a few couples, there have been couples approach me. Actually, just very recently, had I been a single girl, you know, know, like a lot of the girls in my profession, they really need a place to live. They really need, you know, steady income. And I did have an offer just a few weeks ago. Nice little boyfriend, girlfriend couple. Boyfriend had a ridiculous sex drive. Girlfriend couldn't keep up.

What they basically weren't was a concubine. They were willing to pay all my bills, giving some spending money, things like that. But, you know, in the situation I'm in, you know, I've got my own. going home, car, blah, blah, blah. So, you know, I really didn't need what they had to offer, but... They wanted to monopolize your time. I'm sorry, they wanted to monopolize your time? Well, I mean, it would have been a living position.

Like, imagine a nanny, but sexual, I guess. Which I guess a lot of nannies are sexual, but... Really? Shit, I got to get a nanny. I didn't know that. All right. That's interesting, though. I love your point about why women don't have to pay for sex.

We've got Adam is out in the studio audience. He's got a question for you. Hi, Ashley. Okay. You may have already covered this in previous episodes, so I hope not. It doesn't matter. Okay, good. I was just wondering your very first episode instance of either requesting or accepting money.

Just curious how that situation went? I'm just wondering if it was like something that you mulled over for a while, if it was kind of spontaneous, et cetera, et cetera. Well, that is a, I have a super cool story for you behind how this all got started. Okay, I lived in a very, very, very small town, population about 2,500 to 3,000. We did not have things like this where I'm from. So shortly after I graduated high school, I got a job that sent me traveling, and I finally ended up settling in Johnson City.

I fell in love with Johnson City. You know, it's just my place. And there was a little, oh, it was a seedy little dive. It was just a very dirty, scummy little place, and I knew that it was a strip club. So I contemplated beginning a career at a university, and of course, you know, I'm broke. So I need money for college. Well, I started, you know, I thought, well, what the heck, you know, these people, it's ugly girls that work here. You know, surely they'll hire me because I was a little chubby.

I was a little thick, you know, at the time. And a lot of guys don't like that, you know. So I was kind of, I was self-punctous. I didn't think I would get the job. I said weirdos don't like that. Yeah, we all like. Yeah, exactly. Weirdos.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, there's a point where you get a little too large to be shaking it on the stage, you know. I mean, there is a point. But anyway. But, you know, so anyways, I got a job with this little cede-dive. My first day at work, I come in, and I should have known something. up when I said, it's illegal for me to touch them right.

And the guy said, you do what you're comfortable with. So I probably should have known what was up right then, but, I mean, I was a very young, not very young, 23, 24-year-old girl, like I said, from a little tiny town. And so the first day at work, the way it worked is there were two girls, and each time the doorbell rang, um it you know like we took turns answering the door well the first door was mine okay so i woke up and there was an older gentleman very nice uh clean looking well we sit down and talk and he says how much is it for a dance and i said well it's forty dollars and he slid three twenty dollar bills across the table and he said well what did that get me i said i don't know maybe a dance and a half

And that's how naive I was, people. You don't understand. That's how naive I was. And he looked at me and he laughed just like you did. And he said, you really don't know what's going on here. He said, you don't really know what's going on here, do you? And I said, I'm afraid I don't. I don't know what you're talking about.

I don't know. And he just, you know, very bluntly, he said, listen, if I give you this money, will you give me a blowjob? Well, to me, hell, that was a bargain, you know, $60 for five minutes work. You know, give me a damn break. So I was like, hell, I'd probably took 20, you know. I mean, at that point, it was just ridiculous. Actually, you're fantastic.

I was like, I'm like $60. And so here's what I did. I made the man write me a $2,000 check because I was convinced that I was going to get fired if I gave him head. Okay. So I made him write me a $2,000 check. And I was like, you know, if I get fired, this check is mine. He said, okay. We went back there, did her a business, and I walked back out to the other employees' mouth gaped open.

I guess I looked like, I kind of did look like a goody-two shoes. I was an ETSU college freshman, you know, college freshman, like, I don't know. I just, I looked like a good girl. Yep. Wow. But I wasn't. Those are the best kind. That's the first time.

That's the first time anything ever happened for money with me. That's an awesome story. The entrepreneurial spirit. Yeah, absolutely right. 60 bucks for five more than that. That's a hell of a good deal. I'll fucking suck a cock for 60 bucks for five minutes. I've heard that.

Any taker? There we go. I heard that. You know, hey, get my number later because there is a thing called Gay for Pay. So holler at me. There you go, John. There you go. All right.

Let's, we've got another question for Ashley. Hey, Dr. Steve. I was calling to ask a prostitute a question. I wanted to know if she's ever been caught by any significant others, boyfriends or girlfriends or whatnot. She's ever had to hide under any bids, run for her life. And oh yeah, fuck you, P.A. John. He had to get the dig into P.A. John.

So, yeah. So have you ever been, had to deal with a significant other that was not thrilled with the fact you were having sex with her man quote unquote um okay uh this gets um the majority of my significant others uh and it's no pretty woman frigging you know 20 thousand carrot diamond necklaces it's not bullshit like that but a lot of the people that i end up uh having relationships with have been familiar with what I do from the get-go. So there really have been no hiding.

It's work and pleasure are very distinct to me. I don't have any problems separating the two. Well, you don't, but some dude's girlfriend might. Well, oh, no, some dude's girlfriend, okay, yeah. Well, I've never, I've never had to deal with Lewis, like, a guy of significant other, no. I've gotten a few weird text messages at times. Like, I mean, I'm talking maybe like three times over years. Wow.

Somebody's texted me, well, how did you get this number? And see, what I do, if guys are smart, like, here, listen closely with guys. program your program your hooker's name under a boy's name I don't know how ridiculously easy that is but nobody knows to do that

yeah just put GVAC hey no that's one of the guys in the studio yeah for sure but yeah you just like I mean you know like I've gotten messages and I'm like well

I was looking for a laptop for sale you know I thought and I'll just make up something or then I'll be like oh, you know what? I was trying to get the number of blah, blah, blah, and then miss a digit. Right. So, I mean, I will

always, always, always cover for my people. I would never like. We love women like you, by the way. We don't like people who kiss and tell too much. You're a fun girl. No client nine for Ashley, that's for sure. Good. That's good stuff.

No, I'm, that's my bread. That's my bread and butter, man. Why would I want to sacrifice that? How long have you been working, Ashley? Well, the story I told you about the place, the little seed, that took place in probably late 99 or 2000. You know, I think that's when PA John used to visit that place. You know, he may have. Were you wearing little white shorts and a Sunday? All right, all right, right.

Hey, Ashley, thanks for being part of our 100th show. we could do an hour with you easy. Yeah, yeah. It was my pleasure. I had so much fun. We really appreciate you being part of the show, and everybody loves your segment, except for one person, and I'll talk to you about that. We have another escort in New York that says that we need to have a battle between the two of you,

so we'll talk about that. You know, we should. We can have an East Coast turf war. That's right. Country mouse versus city mouse. No, now I'm sure her life, her life has to be very different from mine. Yeah. Because, you know, you know what area I live in.

Sure. It's the armpit of America. But you know, country boys need love and two, and that's why we all are very grateful for what you do. True, honestly. And I'm grateful for all you too, but anytime you want to talk, You just give me a call. Okay, well do. Thanks. Thanks, Ashley. See, Ash. Such a good egg.

She's cool. Let's all sing the theme song. Ask a prostitute. Come on, everybody. Ask a prostitute. Ask a prostitute. Yeah. Trying to figure that out. Don't let that get stuck in your head.

At $60 for every five minutes, right? If she does that constantly as a restaurant, regular job, that's $1.49 million a year. That's the problem. You can't do it, you know, eight hours a day just constantly. I could for that price. For one year. All right, let's get Dr. Robert up here. Dr. Robert, to the microphone, please.

All right. Oh, gosh, you're way too tall for that mic stand, aren't you? A little bit, a little bit. Oh, yeah, go ahead and fix it, and I'll turn the mic off for a second. There you go. all right so dr robert came the farthest he uh he is an anesthesiologist from can we say from what we can say that okay from baltimore he actually knows one of my friends from medical school and so uh you traveled the farthest so uh thank you for coming man well thanks for having me but it's a tough act to follow the ashley and broken penis she would be hard to follow anyway

but when you listen to this show, because I don't talk to too many doctors who listen to this show, are there times when you just hear us say something completely wrong and you're just screaming at your radio, wishing that we would, number one, shut up, and number two, that you could call in right then and talk to us and set us right. I think you hit most of the stuff right on the head. Oh, good, good. My expertise is... That's what I was fishing for, by the way.

Tell me how good I am. is more in anesthesia. So I don't hear you getting many questions about that. Yeah. The other stuff, I think you hit it. I never wanted to be an anesthesiologist because I didn't want to sit there and get yelled at by these surgeons.

How do you deal with that? Because I know it happens. Or does Bob, you do inpatient or outpatient stuff? Both. Do okay? Yeah, both. Okay. It's just part of the job.

Wow. It's part of the job. It is a stressful. The operating room is a stressful place. And in all honesty, if somebody's going to be working on my brain or working on my heart, I'd like him to have a pretty good ego. Yeah, yeah, okay, fair enough.

Now, do you also do a pain clinic, too? Do you do that kind of stuff? I don't do that. I'm pretty much in the operating room. Okay, all right, very good. Well, you sent us a gift recently, and we wanted to talk about it, and I haven't showed anybody yet. But I did send out a Twitter.

Do you follow my Twitter feed? No. Okay, we're good. So, I'm two for two today, right? So Dr. Robert sent it. I got this package and it was really heavy. I was very excited. And what I can say from this is now I know what Opie and Anthony feel like when I send them my homemade wine.

I always thought it was funny. I meant to pull the audio of them bashing me for 45 minutes. But if you want to find it, go to YouTube and just search, suck my pino and Dr. Steve and you'll find it. But anyway, so I get this package. I'm kind of, well, he's guys an anesthesiologist. He's got a lot of money. Maybe he sent us something really awesome, and he did.

So here it is. Hang out this second. Uh-oh. Drum roll, please. Oh, man. Thank you. Green beans. There's only green beans.

Those are dilly beans. I opened it and it was like, what the fuck is this? So I tweeted out a picture. of it on Twitter and this is just what some of the reviews that you got back one guy said what the fuck is that cigarettes marinated in piss

another one says the fuck yes trust home canned food in brown liquid from a random stranger good thinking another person said parasitic worms and

oh and oh and yeah Amy, the one that called in earlier, said, well, now you can do Botox for free. Because, see, it has botulism, and it goes. Oh, my God. We're just fucking, look, I've never had the chance to turn the tables on somebody else after what I went through with Opian Anthony. Now, the thing I'll tell you is when they bashed me, that was the first time I realized that they actually liked me. Have you tried them?

No, not yet. No, I've got both of them here. I thought we could try them today. Give them to Chef Mike. Oh, yeah. Whip up some good. The best part is the white things in the bottom. Those are garlics.

Oh, yeah. Those are the best part. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I wasn't sure what those were. They looked like little cubes of some sort of protein, and I was a little concerned. Thank you very much. We're going to have Chef Mike work his magic on these today on the after show party.

Okay. And thanks for coming, man. Hey, thanks for having. Thanks for having. That's a great part. Dr. Rob. Yeah, man.

There we go. Finally. Finally, I found it. There you go. All right. Let's get, who traveled the second farthest would be Andrea and Marcus. And we just want to say hi to you guys. You don't have to do anything in particular.

Hello. Hello. And, yeah, you can just sort of turn that down to you. So, yeah, so we first met when Andrea brought Marcus here for his birthday. It's a birthday present. which is the oddest birthday present ever, especially considering you didn't have to, I mean, it was free, right? It was an excellent birthday present.

Really? Okay, good, good. We really enjoyed having you guys. And then you guys went out with Chef Mike and the lawyer bitch and had a big old time. We did. We did. I showed up. Yes. And you did too? Yes.

Well, I never heard this part. That's when I got the licking of the ass clown. Wow. Yeah, it happens. Okay. There's all kinds of. You guys doing okay? Yes.

And what did you bring us to drink? I saw you had a growler of something. I thought you might as well go ahead and plug that. Marcus and Andrea are always good for really interesting beer choices. And I mean that seriously, really interesting stuff. Delicious. We had some more Askon Brewery today, which was a black orange spice IPA. This is Ask Clown Brewery?

Correct, yes. Okay, very good. That's all right. It's just a radio show. I do have a question, though. Yeah, okay. Okay, so have you heard of Jonah Falcon? It's this guy that has it.

He, on record, has the largest penis in the world. Oh, my goodness. Really? I look him up right now. So, Flaccid, he is 9.5 inches. Okay. A wrecked, he is 13.5 inches. Nice.

And I'm just trying to figure out if this guy has, like, a raging, meaty heart on, or if he just has, like, a half. Well, I'll tell you something. Did you see Bad Grandpa? I have not. Okay, well, there's a scene in there where he goes to this club where they have male strippers. And this one dude in there, I'm telling you, his penis had, it looked like it was 24 inches long. And because of gravity will hold it down so it won't go up against your stomach when it's erect.

Like it will on mine because it's small. You know, me too. But gravity will pull it down, but it will tend to curve upward to a certain degree. and so it'll hang out around 90 degrees. Now, if he's had the surgery to also lengthen his penis, you can do that by severing the ligament that holds the penis up against the body, and that will add about a half an inch to an inch, but then your penis will always point to the ground.

Okay. So we should research this guy and see, because what was that? Oh, we missed something in the audience. What happened? That's all right. They are just having their own party. He said you could use it to find water. A dousing rod.

No, but check out the images of this guy. Okay, absolutely well. Jonah Felt. Insane. Okay, cool, cool, cool. Thank you guys for coming. Thank you. All right.

The image that I pulled up is a guy with a woman's sock or sock foot in her mouth. Oh, whatever reason. I don't know what that is. Yeah. That is the weirdest-shaped penis or it's a foot. So this guy he's saying has a 9-inch flaccid, 13 and a half hard, so that's like 150%. Is that like a normal percentage? Like a guy with a 6-inch flaccid get a 9-inch hard on?

Yeah, something like that. And everybody's different, too. You know, that whole growers versus showers is a real thing. Really? Yeah. Really? Yeah, that's when you want to blame it on the chick. Hey, baby.

It's not the size of the ship. You can tell there's the alcohol is flowing freely in the studio audience today. And let's see, we had Adam and Josh, they came from Kentucky, right? Virginia, okay. And does your brother, you've already said something, is your brother want to say something? He's the 3D artist, right? 3D printing artist? Yeah, this is Josh.

And Josh lost 150 pounds, is that right? 175. Oh, 175. Nice. Very nice. I can't seem to get the sound effects going today. There you go. Awesome, man.

That's awesome. Yeah, and how did you guys do it? Because you both lost a crap load of weight. You lost like 400 pounds between the two of you, right? Something like that. Close to that, yeah, probably. Yeah, that's amazing. Congratulations.

I actually did Weight Watchers. And, you know, and people go, ooh, dude's doing Weight Watchers. Let me tell you something. Weight Watchers is the only commercial program that has been verified in the medical literature as being successful for long-term maintenance. So good for you. I think, especially if you're a numbers person, if you like numbers.

What Weight Watchers will do is, you know, all these things have different points, and you can only have a certain number of points, but you can eat anything you want as long as you don't exceed those points. And what it will do is it will guide you toward eating healthier foods because you can eat more if you eat stuff that has low point value. Okay. And because you could eat a piece of carrot cake,

and then you're done for the day, but you can have, you know, a grilled chicken salad and, you know, minastroni soup. soup and stuff like that, and you can fill yourself up. So I think Weight Watchers is a very viable option for people. And it's $55 a year. I mean, it's nothing. At least that's what it was last time I checked.

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Learn more at Aboutamazon.ca. It's not terrible. Yeah. Is it more in that now? Okay, well, that was several years ago. Okay. And I'm talking about the online version because they have an online version, and you can do it all, you don't have to go to meetings if you want to.

That's awesome. Yeah. Congratulations. All right. It's actually going to follow up with you on something. Yeah, absolutely, of course. If you recall, I called in a while back about a hernia. Okay.

And I actually had that fixed last Friday. Oh, you did? You know, still got some staples in there and everything. Okay. But it's, it's been all right. And I took your advice and went and saw a doctor, and then they cut me open and fixed it. Yeah, that's Johnny Fairplay, the wrestling dude who was on Survivor, he said, your show is basically this. Guy calls in with a question, you tell him, go see a doctor.

That's kind of true. Go see someone. Oh, good. I'm glad. So did they have to put mesh in or any of that stuff? Yeah, he put mesh in. Okay. Yeah, it was the first time I had surgery or anything like that.

It wasn't a huge thing, but it was... And have you gotten a successful rod since the surgery? I have. Okay, good, good, good, nice. Just making sure. All right, cool, cool. Congratulations. Give yourself a bill.

Now, let's see, we've got, let's get Mike, Chef Mike and the lawyer, bitch up here. I still want to do a show with them. And Steve and Wendy, we're going to talk to you during the next segment. Hi, Steve. Hello. How are you? What's up, Steve? All right. Hey, listen, these, you've outdone yourself with these Bloody Mary's.

Everybody is. That's all we got left. That's all of the ones that you... Wow. Holy shit, no, I've got... Three gallons, and it looks like there is... Last call. We got about 12 ounces. 20 ounces left. Wow. Now, these have a very smoky, and Kim, L.B, you're going to have to get in front of that mic for us to be able to hear it, sorry. Because it doesn't do anything from the side.

You guys just stand, yeah, put it between you like that. There you go. So I still want you two guys to do a podcast. I think lawyer bitch and the chef. She has great knowledge, and she's the first person who's been able to turn me around on the McDonald's coffee, crotch bowl. thing. Really? I always thought it was complete horseshit.

Did you ever see the documentary? No, no, no, no. That's what turned me around. But when I had... How about O.J.? Did I turn you around on O.J.? I don't think we talked about O.J. yet, but it's

that'd be something for your show. But I still think it would be a great show. And, Chef, Mike, you want to talk a little bit about these Bloody Mary's that you brought us today? Oh, I met a shitload of Bloody Mary's. We're not above doing recipes on this show.

So these have a distinctly smoky flavor or taste. And I can smell it from here. It smells like I'm in a smoker or something. So what's the story with that? Well, that was the Rimjob salt I put on there. Nice. Well, okay. I was smoked sea salt.

Smoked sea salt. So they actually take sea salt and put it in a smoker? Just take a big block of sea salt and smoke it over Applewood. They do in North Carolina. And then this salt cost, how much? It was like three and a half ounces for like 25 bucks. Wow. I got a smoker out there.

I'm going to be smoking some damn season. See, I cook for a fucking millionaire, man. So I go to the store and Earth Fair and all those kind of places. You can get all the good stuff. Home Depot. It's my toy store. Yeah. Grab that shit.

Wow, nice. Yeah, so Chef Mike is right now, his gig is as a personal chef. Cool. And he cooks everything, all meals for, for some bagillionaire. Plus, do you travel with them, too? Not yet.

Okay, that's coming. Not yet. I'm waiting on their jet. I'm waiting on their jet. Okay, cool. When they get that, I'll go with that. What a cool gig. And so do you like...

As long as it doesn't depart from Malaysia. Too soon. I knew that was coming. So... I haven't even found it yet. What, what... Can you tell us what's in these Bloody Mary's, and I'll cut you loose.

This is the same concoctioned me for us last time. Minus the rim job salt. Okay. Does this still have the wasabi in? There's people listening now that have never listened before. It's got the wasabi, the saracha, the curry powder that I make. It's got the pickle juice, the lemon juice, the tomato juice, and it's just good, celery seeds. If you sent me the recipe, would it be okay for me to post it?

I mean, is this some proprietary thing? No, no, no. We'll post it on Dr.Steve.com. Yeah, email that to me. If you want to go through the trouble, we'll make it. You make it. It's not. You know, I'll make it for you.

for a million dollars. $50 an hour, that's all. And when you say pickle juice, you're talking about cum? Only for my neighbors. All right, thank you, guys. Thank you. Have I missed anybody out there? All right, hey, I thought one thing that would be kind of fun to do

would be to go over some of our favorite phone calls, and I have not, okay, Trucking James has been on call for 39 minutes. And, uh-oh, and I see, Hussein from Brum. Brooklyn wants to do a live version of the bit that cannot be named. So let's just take these phone calls first.

All right, trucking James. Oh, boy. And it's time. Was it happy. Was that? Doctors and Caron. 100 fucking episodes of this train wreck, really?

Yep, it's something. That's fantastic. Thank you for your support. That's fantastic. That's terrific. Hey, thanks, man. You've always been a loyal listener to the show and supporter, and we appreciate it as fucked up as your phone calls are.

We really do appreciate you. Oh, right on. I wish I could have pulled off onto 11 rather than running 81 today because I probably have my truck parks in your frigging driveway. Oh, God, God, damn. Oh, God damn, please. It scares me. that he has some clue of where we are.

Oh, yeah, you're going to have to move. You know what? When I do finally get over there, some days, someday, see, I'm going to bring you a two-meter stealth antenna so he can get on a net like me and be a real nerd. There you go. He's talking ham radio lingo now. You've lost your audience, my friend.

All right, hey, thanks for calling Chuck and James. The one question I would have. You get one second for every minute you were on hold. I'm not even listening to him. I said you get one second for every minute you're on hold. Go ahead. I just wanted to ask the prostitute a question. Oh, shit.

Well, sorry about that. Call in and I'll forward it to her. Oh, wait. Well, lawyer bitch. Oh. Boo. You should see the color of red that Dr. Steve is right now. I can't afford me.

I'm forced, Steve. Aw. All right. It'll be okay. Seam, I'll be off the line in just a second. Okay, buddy. How far would she be willing to go for a job? Probably not to be far.

Yeah, not that far. Yeah, not that far. I'm looking, oh, God, I hate this new fucking soundboard. Okay, here we go. There we go. We had no way in front of sound. All right. What is this?

Bye. See you, Dave. It's good to be the king. You're a better man than me. All right, Hussein from Brooklyn, 732. In the house. Yo, what's up? It's Nick McKeel and Hussein.

What's going on, buddy? All right. How are you guys doing? We were going to do a whole bit that cannot, whose name cannot be spoken marathon today, but this is way better. Want to congratulate you on your hard of the episode, Dr. Steve. You're the best.

Thanks, man. No, you are. Yes, Dr. Steve. So you guys got a. a question for us and then oh shit I'm already getting drunk from this Bloody Mary even though he hasn't drank any of it

and it's just sitting there. It's a contact high. This Bloody Mary is so strong. Yeah what you guys get. First off, plug your stuff. Nick Bazzeal is on Nick Bazzeal Radio and Hussein is his radio partner and are you guys, now you moved recently Nick, right? Yeah, I'm in Cali now so we're trying to get the show up and running hopefully by next year.

week. Are you guys, now Hussein, you're in Brooklyn, right? Yeah, I'm in Brooklyn. So you guys are going to do it by Skype, I guess. Okay. Yeah, I'm the engineer, so I'm going to have to figure out some fancy way to get him, patch him into his own show, and make it seamless. I'll tell you, that's Mad Scientist Party Hour does that. And their engineer is in Philly, and Kevin Kraft is in California, and one of the other, I think, well, I think everybody else is in California,

but they do it and it's pretty seamless, so it's doable. I'll hook you up. Just email me. Yeah, that'd be great. All right. So what do you got for us today? You guys got a... Well, we're thinking, yeah, we're doing a question, but we're going to do the intro live for you. That way, get the full effect.

Holy shit. Oh, this is awesome. Do it. All right. Hurtain, you ready? Yeah, yeah. All right. We're in Medicine and Nick the Steel Radio.

Prudence. Niggins need a no. Oh, shit, no. Hussein is a man of love, and he has, I guess he's talking to some new girl, but he was telling me that she has some disorder. Hussein, what's his order is this? No. All right? So, Nick and me a Nia Nile, right?

Talk to this bitch, and she tells you that she has a personality in a sort. Oh. And on top of that, since she tells me, she has a, histamine personality disorder I don't have

a word personality dude histrionic histrionic histronic histronic so

I'm like well first of all I just want to get the point I don't care about you know if you have a disorder or something I mean

if anything that disorder it looks like it's a freaky disorder yeah because apparently there's some some sexual activity

that has but I don't know what it is, but I just want some pussy not the name. Well, I got, hey, Hussein, I got good. I got, I got, this suspectious disability I've ever heard. I've got good news for you because histrionic personality disorder is characterized by excessive emotions and attention seeking, including inappropriately seductive behavior and an excessive need for approval. So, yes, you will probably get some, but then once you do, you ain't going to be free. Yeah, you ain't going to want. No, no.

That's just going to get real old, real fast. It's going to turn to fatal attraction, you're saying? Yeah, exactly. And the problem with personality disorders is they're very, very difficult to treat. I want to do a show with Dr. Lydia one of these days, and she and I have become friends. And she is a really, really good PhD psychologist. and has lots to say about these things. But personality disorders are, the only thing they respond to is talk therapy,

and even then you can only make incremental benefit. So if this is somebody that you don't want to have a long-term relationship with, go at it, my brother. Not at all. Yeah, there you go. Because if you do turn it into a long-term relationship, it will be hell. No, I don't want that. I'm already blessed.

Yeah, whatever you do, don't marry her. Yeah, they say, I'm just reading off an article here. People with histrionic personality disorder have a high need for attention, make loud and inappropriate appearances, exaggerate their behaviors and emotions, and crave stimulation. They may exhibit sexually provocative behavior, express strong emotions with an impressionistic style, and maybe easily influenced by others.

Yeah, they might do that. You know, they're the ones that are, you know, they have one drink and they're up on the table ripping their shirt off going, look at me, look at me. Oh, yeah. All right. Is this going to be one of those girls who, when he leaves her, she's going to be calling him nonstop and losing her mind?

Oh, yeah. I would think so. Oh, yeah. And the only cure for that is for her to find somebody else to latch on to. Now, I am not an expert. on histrionic personality disorder. But I can become an expert in five minutes, so if you're really interested in the answer to this,

email me. Email me, and I'll send you some shit. Yeah, Hussein, you better pull out because if you have a child with this girl, you're not, it's not going to be good. Oh, no. Yeah, I'm not doing that at all. Wrap that rascal, my brother.

What's what if I do? I'm just bleeding. I'm sorry, Steve. You'll look, I've got real, a black guy. Oh. Oh. Oh. All right, well, I'm really glad you guys called in.

And plug your show again, Nick. Yeah, sure. Nick McAfeele Radio on iTunes, check it out. The last show we did was an AMA podcast with all the Ron and Fez former interns. We talked about the show, the good times we had there. That's up right now, so check it out. Oh, shit. I'm going to hear that.

Awesome. Okay. That's a great show in there that really have added a lot to our show with their bit, the bit whose name cannot be spoken. Hey, thanks you guys, and good luck with the... Enjoy the rebooting of your show. I'll say it in a heartbeat, brother. All right, thanks, guys.

Peace. Later, man. All right, thank you, dude, man. All right. Awesome. Hussein and... That's great. I love those guys. That's Pips from Ron and Fisio. Yep, yeah.

All right. That's very good. Let's play a couple of... of our favorite phone calls. I've got a new one, though, that I think is that we had neglected for the longest time. Let me see if I can find this thing. You almost said it. What's that?

Well, you said neglect it. Hang on just a second. Sorry. Sorry. Where are these phone calls? This is very professional. Okay, here we go. All right.

Here's a couple of our favorite phone calls over the last 100 episodes. And here's a real short one. Hey, Dr. Steve. I have prescribed marinald, and I have... He's obviously got his own form of marinald, doesn't it? What is marinal? Oh, it's a medical marijuana in a pill form. Oh, awesome.

So he's stone. Hey, Dr. Steve, this isn't really that much of the problem. medical question, but I just want to let you know. If you write me a prescription for some miracle marijuana, I will give you the best blowjob you have. Think about it. Think about it. Think about it.

Think about it. Let's see. Hey, Dr. Steve, I was wondering if you have a vasectomy, can you still come? Ejaculate. Same definitely. So you can hear, if you listen very carefully, You can hear his wife or a girlfriend in the background going, Ejaculate.

Because she didn't want him to say come. Don't say come. I'll boost the volume right at that moment. Hey, Dr. Steve. I was wondering if you have a vasectomy, can you still come? Ejaculate. Exactly. All right.

And then here's one where the guy gave up his name. Hey, Dr. Steve. This is John in Tennessee. and I've got a very embarrassing issue that comes up about once a year. When I was a kid, my brothers and sisters actually used to call me Zach two cracks. And I just said my real name, so I'm going to hang up now and call back. That's beautiful. Hello, Dr. Steve.

Can you tell us more about that giant, meaty, penis between your legs, And then I get that one. Hey, Dr. Steve. I got that one that made me feel pretty good. And then I get this one. Hey, listen up, there, tough guy. Yeah. You fucking douchevag.

Yeah. Hey, I got a problem with you. You're a douchevag. What's up there, douche meester? Hey, I'm a... I come you're such a douche that you're feeling a little dushy today. Hey, dush there's good chusie. Hey, dush croony.

Hey, dush kish-kuny. Hey, hey, hey, de chush. The old dushmust. It gets funny. Yeah, the bushman. Yeah, the bushman. So that guy That guy did

Opie's rule of repetitive comedy perfectly Because it started out It was a little amusing Then it got really unfunny And then he kept doing it Until it got funny again He got funny again

And funnier I know A couple more A couple more Dr. Steve You're grossed me out I'm trying to eat my fucking breakfast man

My God Needle's in the dick I can't deal with that Eat breakfast Please It's Monday morning. He killed me. We were talking about needles in the death.

No big deal. They can't all be jams. Dr. Steve, I was listening to a replay, and I got a funny Ambien story. It's a little long, but bear with me. About 15 years ago, I went from driving a truck during the day to turn and wrenches at night, had a lot of trouble sleeping. Doctor puts me on Ambien. Taking Ambien right when I get home in the morning, and it should help me sleep during the day.

So about four months in, I wake up in my living room covered in fresh semen early in the afternoon. Turns out I was waking up and masturbating while I was supposed to be asleep. So the first time, I didn't think anything of it. The third time it happened, I finally go back to the doctor. The doctor immediately takes me off the ambient, explains to me about all the funny side effects, people driving cars and climbing ladders and all that or shit. And that was it for the ambient. So fast forward about six months, I still have half a bottle of these pills in my medicine cabinet,

and it's Thanksgiving Day. I have a lot of trouble sleep in the couple of nights before. My wife says, listen, you get up early, take a couple of ease, and it can't urge you for the one day. Well, I take two Ambien. I go to bed, and I wake up with my brother-in-law pummeling me in the living room, three, four people standing around pulling him off me. Apparently, in the middle of Thanksgiving Day, they were watching a football game,

I had decided to come down with a raging heart on, and proceeded to masturbate in the living room in front of my in-laws, a couple of cousins, and a couple of friends. So after a trip to the emergency room, a fractured jaw and a couple of cracked ribs, Bobby was much bigger than I was, Now I'm not talking to my in-laws family In a year later I'm divorced Fast forward five years

And my second wife Who's a little bit smarter than my first one Pushes me to go see another sleep doctor Turns out that I have had Extreme sleep apnea Which was probably the cause of my not being able to sleep In the first place 298 apneotic episodes in eight hours

And a total of six minutes of R.E.M. Sleep All right, we don't have to hear his whole Ambien story, but I love the whole idea of him doing Ambien and then waking up in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner masturbating in the nude. In front of his entire

in-laws and family, that's unbelievable. Well, and look, there's PA Jill. Hello, Jill. I get to play the sixth. Hmm? I get to play the sixth. The sixth. What are you talking about? Jefferson told me to play the sixth. The sixth. Amendment. Oh, plead the fifth. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Okay, pull that mic to you. Okay, what we're going to do is we're going to get set up for Big Joe Dating Game. And while we do that, we're going to play a couple of celebrity call-ins, and we're going to play the song, You Do Not Want to Miss This by Joe Kumiya and me. And let me just tell you a little bit about how this song came to happen. I just asked Joe if he would help me do a song parody. and I had the idea of a guy who

well he had the idea of doing it to the doing it to the music of we didn't start the fire so I said well okay let's do IP and my cocks on fire and so we start doing this and Joe just took the whole thing himself and just did the whole damn thing. He's a master. He is a fucking genius.

Two days later he had all the words written and the music done. And I guess I did the chorus and he did all the verses and then I added in later audio from our show that's apropos. So that's coming up. And then after that, we're going to have, after this break, we're going to have Big Joe dating game. Okay, what?

Get to go on break? Well, you just got out here. Oh, my God. All right, here we go. And we'll be right back. Good. Okay, I don't care that it's your 100th episode. So I just, the only reason that I'm reaching out to you right now is just to tell you to stop calling me, stop emailing me,

stop sending me gifts, stop sending me flowers, stop talking about me. It's too much I am married. You see, I have a ring, which means I already have somebody that I'm planning on killing. So I just don't have time, I don't have time to just go killing every single person who seems to have some kind of like weird attraction to me. So back off. Back off. This is Dan Maddenan. Congratulations on 100 episodes, none of which I've actually listened to.

And now I'm going back to what I was doing before, listening to Bon Jovi. I'm just Steve. It's Jim Florentine. Congratulations on 100 episodes on the great Riot Cat Network. I don't know why we're congratulating you. I mean, you basically just hit record and started talking 100. minds. Not that tough. But congratulations, and I hope since I called off it did you this, I guess you call it a favor. Next time I come to Knoxville, please take the warts off my Joel.

Have a good one. Dr. Steve, it's your buddy marker from the Jersey Jerk Show. and I'm calling because this is your 100th episode and you're absolutely right nobody really gives a shit the jerks we've been doing our podcast for about four years we're well over 200 and we don't even have a

we're not even sniffing satellite radio at least you're on it so I'm just calling to take congratulations on a serious note And you're not just another podcast buddy. You're front of mine. You become friends. You answer my emails.

I'm like other people who never answer emails or text or anything. You've always seen the answer. And I hope we can turn this as something bigger so I can quit this stupid fucking 9 to 5. All right, Dr. Steve, congrats. And we'll be talking to you. See you. medicine on your hundredth episode. As you all know, I am a huge fan of the show.

And I really think it's something special. You guys are funny. You're entertaining. And you're smart. And it's something that's in short supply these days. And with technology as advanced as it is, you figure the audio-only medium of radio and podcasting would be eliminated, but shows like yours is what keeps it alive. So, cheers, everybody.

And let's get a hundred more. Hey, Dr. Steve. I've, uh, congrats on 100 episodes. I really don't have anything funny to say, you know, I'm a comic. Ooh, I got to be funny enough already. Thank you for all the help you've given me. And you know what? That's really all I got.

You're always there when I call. You have the best, what do you call it, advice. And you've gotten me through some really tough times. So thank you. You know, if you want funny, buy my CD or come see me live. You can get my CD still empty inside at iTunes or Amazon Digital. And also listen to My Wife, Hates Me Podcast on Riotcast or iTunes. Oh, okay, anyhow.

Congrats. Talk to you later. So it's the Chisler and The Machine on Friday Afterwork.com. I know that there's a lot of talk going around about a milestone. It's 100 episodes. We've almost done 100 episodes. I don't know what he's complaining about. I don't.

He's an old man. There's conflicting theories, machine. On whether or not after 100 episodes that you're supposed to get your prostate exam. But I would go ahead and recommend that, yeah, you go ahead and do it just to be safe. Get the Vaseline. Go ahead and good luck to you, Dr. Steve. And, uh, what if he uses the silicon base or the petroleum jelly base? I think it's a water based one.

Is it a water base one? Yeah, yeah. So you just, you just shit out the loop? I got nothing on that. High five, Dr. Steve. Happy and one of us. Happy 100th anniversary. Happy 100th anniversary from Friday after work.

You can find us on Friday afterwork.fm or on iTunes or on Stitcher. Turn your head and cough, bitches. We love you. I want to make out with you, but I don't want to come to Tennessee. I drove through Tennessee last week, but anyway. Well, there's something to be said in machine about. about sexually transmitted diseases between homosexual part. Dr. Steve, this is the cast of the whole.

We wanted to wish you a great, great 100th episode and congratulate you on 100 great shows. The sexiest doctor. The best voice in the world. Hi, this is your old friend, Dr. Steve. I'm the sexiest doctor on the... Sexyest doctor that's ever been on the hole. That's right.

You are the sexiest doctor that's ever been on the hole. Congratulations. weird medicine. Congratulations, Dr. Steve. 100 fantastic episodes for Ryecast. Let's make it a few hundred more. You have to because you're under contract. Hey, Dr. Steve. I have a question about an SPD.

I received oral sets from a stripper a week ago, and I was wondering what the chances are of contracting any kind of, or contract in any kind of SPD from that. front door, back door, jamming in and go. Vibrators, anal beads, alt-of-boy on his knees, dildo, pile, driver, rusty trombone.

It was only a week ago, and I think I can kind of feel something on the head of my penis. Tranny with a ball sack, Haitian hemophiliac, anglangenous, conalinguish, speciality. Prison sex with Johnny Watt, HIV, giant rod, I think I might just have an STD. STD. I feel my car's on fire

Had a hole was stride And now it burns inside it I'm here my car's on fire No I didn't learn And now my deck is burning The deep-handicill I wish I never stuck it in Drip, glad dick stop

oozing from her ass crack Stinky gas, slick hole Smelly pussy gumbo Maginosis Halitosis Her diagnosis But I don't know if that's my imagination nation or not.

Here lately I've been experiencing discomfort when I urinate out of the, really the head of my penis. Now I saw a doctor and he told me that I have a chlamydia. Is it possible that I got it from these dirty sheep? No, I didn't learn, now my beckers burning. You tell us more about that giant, meaty, penis between your legs, and Dating game. Today, our celebrity guest is not other than the woman who makes lasagna out of retardo cheese. Big Joe. Welcome, Big Joe! I played six. Big Joe, tell us a little bit about yourself.

I'm the mother-in-law of this. Idiot. Yeah, all that forces me to get on here. You can say it. Now let's meet your bachelors. Bachelor number one is a drunk-ass redneck who builds stuff for the the nuclear power industry. The future of our country is in his alcohol soaked hands. Please welcome Steve the engineer.

That would be me. How are you, Big Joe? I'm fine. I'm looking forward to meeting you. Bachelor number two is appropriately named. He's shit all over a client's house and got to charge them overtime for it. Please welcome Magic Mike. Hey, Joe.

I'm kidding, Mike. I'm getting him back. All I will. And don't forget, you can listen to the story of Magic Mike by going back a few episodes and listening to the podcast titled Magic Mike's Festival of Feces. Now, Bachelor number three is a traditional Chinese medical doctor, good-looking and half your age. He has sex with supermodels, and you have no chance with him whatsoever. Please welcome Dr. Scott. Hey, Joe.

All right, so here's what we're going to do. Well, if I was anybody at all, I would go with what we're talking about while I go and forget these three. And do what? Well, never mind. If you forgot about what you're talking about, that's fine. I did. What were you talking about? Okay. Now, Big Joe came in and said, Jefferson told me I could plead the sixth. Hey, Jefferson, what is the Sixth Amendment?

Wait. Getting a mic. Get on a mic. Jesus, you've been on the show forever. That's Jefferson the Shister, everybody. I've actually not been in on the show since the show 80. Right to a speedy trial. Right to speedy trough. Oh, it's right to a speedy trial.

That's the sick. Okay, well, then you can plead the sixth. By a jury of your peers. And the fifth. Thank you, Jefferson. Now, Jefferson and his wife are getting ready to have a baby. And I mean, like, getting ready to have a baby. Is she in labor right now and you're here?

No, she's on the way of here. Oh, she is? Oh, okay, awesome. Okay. Awesome. Awesome. Very good. Well, Jefferson, the lawyer, everybody. That's why he hasn't been on. His wife is pregnant. She's actually right now returning lumber for me at Lumberliquidna.

That's a man for you, too. Actually, that's only Jefferson. And I threaten her not to get my truck dirty. Don't you get my truck dirty? And don't break your water in the... All right. All right. Now, the way this works is just like the regular dating game.

Big Joe will ask questions and the bachelors will answer. Now, Bachelors, can you hear her? Can you guys hear her okay when she talks? If she could turn it up a little bit, they'll be great because he's got a sexy voice. Oh, yeah, right. All right, Big Joe. Bachelor number one. Bachelor number one.

How big is your trailer and what would we do in it on our first date? Do you have underpinning or do you have cedar block? Send a rock. Oh, my trailer. No, I got, no, it's not a cedar block. I do have underpinning. I had to cut a couple of notches out of it to put the dog houses under it. I mean, because I've got a lot of dogs and stuff.

So you got, but, I mean, they're still there. And they got like light bulbs in the dog houses. All right, thank you. Bachelor number one. He's reading us the Declaration of Independence. Bachelor number two. Oh, no, wait. Now, Bachelor number two gets to answer.

You're going to ask six questions, but each one of them answers each one. Oh, maybe we should speed it along. You want to just speed it along? This is fantastic. Okay, go ahead. Bachelor number two, you're... All right, same question. Yes.

I have wheels on mine. It goes zero to 60 in three seconds. There he goes. Nice. Campin. I love camping. My daughter would say. Dun was raised up in camping.

All right, Bachelor number three, your answer, please. My trailer used to be used as the executive relaxation station, so it's got lots of good history in there, Joe. I don't know what that is. We don't either. He's a weirdo. Oh, so I'm not done? No, you're not dumb.

No. Anyone that can cook lasagna with retardant. cheese is not dumb. Oh, and also, Marcus and Andrea have a gift for you before we cannot forget that. Okay. So anyway, okay, now, second question. Oh, I think Barreter is a fancy wine, which is really good. What would you buy me on their first steak to get me good and liquored up?

Why would I want to be liquored up? Well, just to get them juices flowing. Oh, you can get juices flowing, Steve, about being liquored up. All right, Big Joe. Big Joe, I'd bring you some moonshine. I'd get, because it just takes a little bit and you'd be all liquored. Oh, I've had moonshine for. That's where number two.

I think I'd bring champagne and ripple. I'd mix that up and we'd have shampoo. You know what I'd bring? I'd bring her some watermelon wine. I've had that. That's good, too. Now, Big Joe. does feel like, that's okay, this is from Marcus and Andrea.

This is a good time to do this. Big Joe, you've got a special gift from our studio audience. You want to give it to her, you guys? Yeah. Well, here. Okay, this is from Marcus and Andrea, and they heard the show where you enjoyed. Beringer. I really like Berenger.

It's made with watermelon. Read it. So that means I'm at the top of the list right now. There you go. Bachelor number three is looking good. She says it with such conviction that I'm starting to doubt myself. Well, maybe that shit is made out of watermelon. There you go.

Here, Joe, give it to me. All right. Next question. That's just for you, Big Joe. Well, thank you. It's a little red, it's a little white. Next question. Oh, which one are we on?

Three. Three. I think five pieces of baloney's a diet. What meal would you spring for me on? on the first date. Now, I fed my grandbabies baloney when they were little because they liked it, fried it. And this is how all this got started. Big baloney.

Okay, let's tell the whole story if we're going to tell us. Oh, now. So, Joe had the kids, and she, you know, she's not a nutritionist. It's fine. And I came back and I said, now, Joe, I do. There's no question about that. And I came back and I said, now, Joe, did the boys eat a balanced diet? And she said, well, they ate five pieces of fraud baloney.

Is that balanced? So there you go. All right. Okay. So. Okay. Knowing that history now, I would definitely take you to Golden Corral.

No. Uh-oh. Cold Coral's not my favorite. Uh-oh. You're in trouble, Bachelor number one. I'm losing ground fast. Hang in there, buddy. All right, Bachelor number two.

You're going to love your big balloon. Probably some carp. It would be really nice, but it speaks to oil. Well, a serious answer from the guy who shits everything. He's going to feed you carp, Big Job. All right, Bachelor number three. And Bachelor number two, you've got to talk into that mic a little bit more directly. You know, Big Joe, I'd bring you anything you want with a little bit of extra whipped cream on top.

Oh, that's a good answer. It's a good answer. It's the same I'm not really wanting to date, ain't it? All right. Dating ain't the means, Joe. Well, I don't even want that. Now, Bachelor number one's got a big old fried bologna from what I hear. Not compared to what you talked about while ago.

I don't know. I still don't know what you're talking about, but anyway, all right. The gold for this one. No, no, you don't. You can skip it. You can skip anything you want. It was a boob question All right

I had my boots reduced What's your favorite part of a woman Wait wait wait wait wait wait Why would you do that You wouldn't be booing if you had a finger block Around your neck all day long That's true On this show our stand is we consider breast reduction

To be mutilation I'm just saying No One of the best things I've ever ever done. Oh, good. I'm glad you're happy with it. Yeah, I am. Big Joe called me after she had them done and said, oh, Steve, they're pretty. They haven't been that pretty in a long time. All right. Next question. We just wanted you to say

you had your breast reduce. I'd like to soak my sorry feed in hot tub after a long day of canning pickles. Or it's your destination of romance I don't soak my feet Oh Are you saying that the questions are rigged? Yeah How dare you?

So Bachelor number one What's your definition of romance? What's my definition of romance? Yes Oh man, you've got to get in the back of a truck Like in the bed of a truck And head out to the lake and do is a little bit of skinny dipping and watching the stars,

a little bit of drinking. Bachelor number two, talking to the mic. Nice romantic evening with some dinner, drinks. All right, he's going for it. Yeah, he really is. He's actually going for it. It's a shame I don't want to date. All right, Bachelor number three.

I would put Joe in my convertible and chase the moonlight. Oh. Oh. Wow. I think that sweet. All right. One last question. Do you have a vomit button?

Listen to our bachelor number three. Listen up. Oh, he's cheating. All right. What do you got? I like black guy dress up. What? I like the movie black guys dress up.

Do you mean men in black? No, you said black guys dressed. Oh, you're making fun of me now, Steve. All right, let's tell that story then. So we're sitting... I'm not telling that story. Well, that's okay, because that's what you got me for. So we were at our kids' baseball game, and Joe, just out of nowhere, says, I'm going to go see that movie, black guys dressed up.

I didn't mean that. And I said, for a second, I said, do you mean men in black? She's like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what it was in. So that whole place just, of course, fell in love with Big Joe immediately. Okay. So give them the second part of that question. I did.

If our love was a movie, what would this be titled? Oh. If your love was a movie, what would be the title? This is where if I'd given you guys a little advanced preparation might have helped. Has Duck Dynasty done a movie yet? Okay, Bachelor number one, his answer is Duck Dynasty. And they haven't even made a movie yet. Bachelor number two.

If your love with Big Joe was a movie, what would be the title? Fast and furious. I like it. All right, Bachelor number three. My counsel told me to use Forest Humph. Who's your counselor? All right, Joe. Now, you've got to decide.

Oh, no, I'm not going to do that. Well, you've got to pick one of them. If you don't pick one, then I can't read the script at the end. So you have to be based on their answer. What can I have all three? Oh. Good answer. The game works that you have to pick one.

I made this flourish, by the way. Oh, really? Oh, really? Look at you. It's becoming quite prolific. See, it's Big Joe thinking. Oh, I don't know. Just pick one.

Two. Bachelor number two. Yay! Not yet. You're not going to do enough to ask, I, sorry, you with. And that's the Big Joe dating game. She and her eligible bachelor will enjoy a $15 gift certificate to Pratt's barbecue and a $2 discount on any jello item at Piccadilly Cafeteria.

I can cook better to prats. I'm your host, Dr. Steve. I don't know how he ends this show. It's just going to end with a whippard. Yeah. Mw-Wa! Thank you, Big Joe. You're welcome. Yay, Big Joe.

Yay. Congratulations, Magic Mike. Oh, wait, don't go anywhere. Oh, no. No, I'm finished. No, we've got a... We have a... I'll have a question for you, Joe.

Huh? No. I think we've got a call for you. Just sit there. Sit there. Someone's calling in. Somebody wants to talk to you. Let's see here.

Let me bring our call screener in. This is Brian from Radiofreaks.com. Brian, are you there? Yes, but I'm call screen at the moment. Okay. Are you getting our phone call taken care of? I'm trying to. Okay, okay.

All right. Okay. Jeez. Assholes. You gave me a month. testy, testy. That's okay. I'm going to put him back in the screening room. We'll come back to him. Okay. So anyway.

Good, I can go. No, no, no, no. Just sit there for a second. Someone's on the line. Yeah, we got somebody calling in, and then we're going to wrap this shit up. It's kind of turned into a cluster. Have everybody having fun, though? All right, all right, all right. Oh, we love you, too. Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.

Here, let's answer a couple of questions while we're waiting for him. Dr. Steve, I'm 22, and I have gout in my big toe. I'll change about maybe my diet, maybe something else. I know eating cherries and pineapples can help with the uric acid. But are there any things that I cannot eat that will help? And any other tips will be awesome. And also, if you can answer this on the podcast instead of the Sirius XM show, that would be awesome because I can listen to that.

Cool, man. Well, if you lasted this long. We, yeah, he's got gout. And so that's an increase in uric acid in his bloodstream, and it precipitates out causing crystals in the joints. It can be extremely painful. And did you have something to say about that? I have gout too.

Oh, you have gout too? Yeah, it sucks. Well, and it does suck, and there's medication for it. There's this new medication called euloric out that is very good for gout. And then the old standbys, Colchicine and Probenosite, can be used for people as well. But he's asking about diet. So there are things to avoid.

And fatty fish, like lobster and shrimp and stuff like that, will increase the production of purines, which increases the production of uric acid. There's also, they recommend that you limit your amount of meat of any kind to four to six ounces a day. Hey, Steve, I can tell him, since I've been vegetarian, I've had a lot less recurrences of gout. Yeah, and watch high fructose corn syrup, too.

It's the only sugar that is known to exacerbate gout, too. Really? Yeah, we're talking about gout. Yeah, we just mentioned a drug called euloric, by the way. Ulloric. From an orthopedic standpoint, I would probably recommend eliminating the first MTP, which means cut the toe, the big toe off. That way, you don't have to worry about it ever showing up again.

It'll just be somewhere. See, he's been drinking. Do not listen to this. Without your big toe. Dude. I mean, people learn to walk every day. Thank you. We got a call.

We got a call on line three. It's area code 908. Hi, how are you? Oh, is this Diana? Yes, it is. Hello, Lady Di. Why are we getting this feedback? Are you listening to us on the radio?

Well, you certainly can I ask you question. Well, you certainly can. Were you on Fox News before? Was that you? That's a different Dr. Steve, honey. He's an imposter. What Dr. Steve are you? I'm the Dr. Steve from Opium Anthony. Two Dr. Steve's I saw on television. Which one are you? Right. I'm the Dr. Steve from the Opium Anthony show.

I already know that. So which one are you on television? Are you on television? Yeah. Do you go on TV also? Yes, but under an assumed name. I'm on that show, Game of Thrones. So what? Game of Thrones.

Oh, Game of Thrones? Yes, yeah, you can see me there. Oh, I don't get that channel. I'm sorry, I don't get the issue. Okay, oh, well, that explains it. Hey, Lady Di, I want you to say hello. to my mother-in-law. Her name is Big Joe. Excuse me. Is this

some kind of a joke or something like that? Well, yeah, this whole show is a joke. I'm serious. I'm serious. Is this a joke or something? I don't know, because there's a few Dr. Steve that everybody saw on TV, and I thought it was in. What about the one on Channel 2? Is that you? No, that's WPIX. That's a different Dr. Steve. He's an imposter as well. No, not W-T-I-X. That's W-C-B-S.

That's Channel 2 over here. Okay. Well, I'll tell you what. In New Jersey, it's Channel 2. That Dr. Steve is a cheap skate. Because I tried to sell him. That doctor, wait, wait, hold on. Hold on a second.

That Dr. Steve took the place of, let's make a deal, which I used to love that show. Oh, that bastard. Oh, that bastard. So. I don't know who it is. What happened was. I don't know. I don't know who it is.

What happened was I tried to sell my domain name to him, which is Dr.Steve.com. And he said, how much do you want for it? And I said, oh, too pricey for me. So he's a cheap. A cheap bastard. Oh, okay. Well, you know, I'm getting my doctor's confused over here. So I have no idea which Dr. Steve for you.

That's okay. I'm the one you've been talking to on the phone about. rehab for the last one. I know. I know. And I'm, and I'm going to go out there in a little while. She needs to take a real good nap. I'm going to go out there and check the paperwork and stuff. Okay. Whatever you mail be. Okay. Yeah. You should be getting it either today or Monday. No, no, no. I'm going to go out there today because I have to check the mail anyway. Okay, okay. Okay. But I'm saying it should arrive either today or Monday. I'm going to go out there after I take a little.

I understand. It may arrive. It may not be there today. Yeah. Okay. Well, say hello to my mother-in-law. You've got to check the mail anyway. Say hello to my mother-in-law.

Her name is Big Joe, and she is My Lady Die on our show. What's that me? Say that one more time. My mother-in-law's name is Big Joe. And she is my. Lady Die. In other words, she fulfills the same rule on our show. She's listening to us on the radio.

New show is in Florida, right? Yes. Yes. Because the reason I'm saying that is because I'm from New Jersey. Okay. Now, I'm from New Jersey. You're from Florida. Right. And, you know, when the phone number pops up, it's a Florida phone number.

Oh, I see. Okay. Yes. very good. Yeah, we're using an alias phone number. What radio station are you on? We are on Riotcast.com, and I'm also on the Opian Anthony channel on SiriusXM. Right.

Okay. Okay. All right. Series XM, Opian Anthony channel. Okay. And. Riotcast. I'm going to get to hear everything. Yeah, you can hear this.

Just go to riotcast.com. you can listen to us anytime. And thanks for calling in, Dye. Hold on a second. You're breaking up over here. Price, I, we all love you so much. Thank you for calling in. Cheers.

And tell Bob Levy, thanks. Oh, no, Bob. Okay. We love you, die. No problem. All right. Bye, honey. I love you, too.

Bye, sir. All right. Okay, bye, man. When Bob Levy does that, there's nothing funnier. I laugh at every freaking tell that guy. He needs to get a job. It's outstanding. Listen, sir.

All right. And let's talk to Brian from Radiofreeks.tv, who did the call screening for the show. Thank you so much, Brian. Nice job, Brian. What was the thing is going to cut the losses? Say it again? What'd you say, buddy? We couldn't hear you.

I forgot most things the lesson in knowing when to cut your losses. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I'm learning. I'm learning. All right, buddy. I'm glad you're alive. Yeah, you haven't talked to PA John on a way. He's doing much better.

He's quit smoking. He's lost, like, how much weight have you lost now? So far, probably about 60 pounds. Nice. Wow, good job. And we're not going to recognize him when we see him. Keep going, buddy. Awesome, Brian.

And plug your show, bro, and we're going to get out of here. I'm still working on managing my diabetes, but I think they're just going to continue to play with some. medication and stuff like that and hopefully get that under control and at the same time they're working on getting my pain management under control too i'm telling you this vinny torturich uh program i'm on right now no grains no sugar i've lost 10 pounds in a week and a half and i feel like a million bucks and i guarantee you right now my blood sugar is zero i need to i need to get something in me but uh yeah it's it's great for diabetics too speaking of getting something

thing sugary in you, enjoy your cake. Oh, yeah, thank you so much. Thanks for the cake. I tweeted out something. Brian sent us a cake that had the weird medicine logo on it. It says, congratulations on your 100th show. I need to find out where you got that, because that's amazing that they delivered that right before the show. Hey, thanks, man. Plug your show.

Plug your show. Listen to the radio freaks every Wednesday at 9 p.m. on the east, 6 p.m. on the west. It's me and adult film star, Danica Gillen, interviewing all sorts of cool comedians and hot porn stars every week. Yeah. His niche is comedians and porn stars. It's a great show. You can just check it out at Radiofreeks.

TV or on iTunes. All right. Hey, thanks, Brian. Great job, Brian. All the best, brother. Well, that was fun. Yes, it was. Thanks, always go to PA John.

Can't forget Rob Sprant's, Bob Kelly, Opeon, Anthony, Ronan Fez, GVAC. Dr. Scott, lawyer bitch and the chef, Dr. Robert, Andrea and Marcus, Josh, and Adam. Let's see who else is out there. Wendy and Steve, Magic Mike. Anybody else out there? I've forgotten anybody. Oh, PA Jill.

And your wife? Oh, yeah, and Tacey. She was a big Joe. Oh, and Big Joe? My God. I'm going to forget Big Joe. All right. Thank you all.

It's been fun. and we're just going to do a bunch more and we're not probably going to celebrate any more milestones unless we maybe the million a thousand. Okay, yeah. The next milestone is a thousand.

That's good. That we won't be wasting your all's time on this bullshit. Anyway. It's fun anyway. Hey, how about we celebrate number 101? Nice. Let's do it. Fuck, this is fun anyway. Many thanks to our listeners whose voicemails and topic ideas make this job very easy. Until next time,

Check your stupid nuts for lumps. Quit smoking, get off your asses and get some exercise. We'll see you in one week for the next edition of Weird Medicine. Frozen lasagna, medium power, 15 minutes. Sounds like Ojo time. Let's play. Feel the fun with Play-O-Joe. The online casino with all the latest slot and live casino games.

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