Welcome to Night Vale - 188 - Listener Questions

Episode Date: May 15, 2021

Let’s go behind the scenes and answer some questions from listeners. Weather: “Hey“ by Standpoint feat. Lady Daisy River, https://soundcloud.com/standpoint-1 The voice of Lucy in Claremont was Julia Morizawa. Transcript available at http://welcometonightvale.com/transcripts Live Stream of ALL HAIL May 15. Tickets and info at http://www.welcometonightvale.com/live Pre-order personalized, signed copies of THE FIRST TEN YEARS: TWO SIDES OF THE SAME LOVE STORY by Meg Bashwiner & Joseph Fink https://www.oblongbooks.com/the-first-ten-years-signed Pre-order YOU FEEL IT JUST BELOW THE RIBS by Jeffrey Cranor & Janina Matthewson https://www.harpercollins.com/products/you-feel-it-just-below-the-ribs-jeffrey-cranorjanina-matthewson?variant=33105381490722 Patreon is how we exist in this plague year! If you can, please help us keep making this show: http://patreon.com/welcometonightvale/ Our third novel, The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Home, is out now: http://www.welcometonightvale.com/books/ Music: Disparition http://disparition.bandcamp.com Logo: Rob Wilson http://robwilsonwork.com Written by Joseph Fink & Jeffrey Cranor. Narrated by Cecil Baldwin. http://welcometonightvale.com Follow us on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram. Check out our books, live shows, store, membership program, and official recap show. Produced by Night Vale Presents. http://nightvalepresents.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Howdy y'all. It is Jeffrey Craneer. I'm not sure which episode of Welcome to Nightville you're listening to, but I am speaking to you from April of 2026. And I'm here to tell you we're going to be in Europe. If you want to see Nightville live and you're going to be in Europe, come check us out at the end of May. We're going to be in Edinburgh on May the 27th. We will be in Manchester on the 28th, London on the 29th, and Amsterdam on May the 30th. Just go to Welcome to Nightville.com slash live to see the show dates and to get your tickets. This is. our newest Nightville live show Murder Night in Blood Forest. It is so much fun. Please come check it out. Also, coming up this month here in April, it is the return of Alice Isn't Dead, brand new episodes of our other crazy hit podcast. This is written by Joseph Fink, produced and with music by Dysperition and starring Jacique and Nicole. So make sure you are still subscribed to Alice Isn't Dead and go get those on April the 13th as new episodes come out. Finally, speaking of other shows, do you want to hear us talk about other things? things. We have three other really great chat shows. First of all, there's Good Morning Nightvale for all of your Nightvale needs. You can hear Hal, Meg, and Symphony talk about every single

episode in order of Welcome to Nightvale. Also, we have Random Horror Number Nine. That is me and Nightville star Cecil Baldwin talking about horror movies one at a time in a random order. And then Joseph and Meg do best, worst, which is a really fun podcast where they look at hit TV shows and they review the best rated on IMDB, the worst rated on IMDB, and if you're a Patreon member, they will review the middleest rated on IMDB. So check out all of those at Nightvillepresents.com or just wherever you get your podcast. And hey, thanks. Hi, it's me, Joseph Fink, co-writer, and creator of this podcast, welcome to Nightfail. So because of some scheduling issues that are too boring to get into here, we have

to delay the episode that was planned for today. But do not worry, don't hit stop on this episode. We still have a special treat for you all. For years now, we've gotten emails asking us questions about the making of night fail and our favorite characters and what we think about this or that. And mostly, we just don't have the time or energy to answer every single one of those,

but I thought it would be cool today to take a few of the most interesting emails and give them the answers they deserve. So this first one is from Lucy in Claremont. Hi Lucy. And she writes, Hi, whoever this is. I don't know what you're getting at with this show or why you're claiming to write it.

These are actual broadcasts from an actual town. I can hear it on my radio right now. How did you find this radio station? What do you know about Night Vale? And why are you pretending that you wrote any of this? I want answers. Uh, Huh.

Okay, sorry. I didn't pick these emails out, actually. I know I kind of tried to make it sound like they were hand-selected, but our business manager, Joella, is the one who actually... But I should have vetted these. This is definitely a weird... I'm honestly not sure what to say about this one. Lucy left her phone number.

I mean, I get that it's just a joke, but, you know, it might be interesting to call her. Okay, you know what? I'm going to do it. Hold on. Hello? Oh, hi. Oh, wow.

I didn't know anyone picked up anymore with all that. Anyway, is this Lucy from Claremont? Uh, who is this? Right, yeah. Okay, this is Joseph Fink with Welcome to Nightville. You wrote in and thank you, but I was a little confused. Oh, so you're the ones passing that work off as your own. But it is our work.

I've been writing it since... Look, I don't know what your deal is, but I've been listening to broadcast from Nightvale for decades. Decades. Yeah, on the radio. You know, like podcasts, but hosted in the atmosphere? What's the frequency? They don't come on any specific frequency.

They just sometimes find me when I'm listening to something else. Joe Frank on KCRW, stained on K-Rog, back when that was a sentence that made sense. The normal signal waivers, and then static, and then Cecil. Is that how it works for you? No, because we're a podcast. I wrote these episodes, and we've never licensed them for radio. I don't know why you called me just to keep up the charade. I was excited to hear from someone else who knew about this show, but if you're just going to keep lying...

I don't think I'm lying. Lucy? Lucy? She hung up. I don't feel like I have any better handle on what's happening here, but I'm going to reach out to Cecil. Cecil Baldwin, narrates her show, lives in Brooklyn, is an actor. You know, so I'm going to call him, see what he thinks about this. Hi, you've reached Cecil Baldwin. I don't really listen to my voicemails, but go ahead and leave one. Hey, Cecil. It's Joseph.

Just have kind of a weird issue going on. Nothing to worry about, but give me a call. I'll just text you. That's what people do. Never mind. Don't bother listening to this. I'll just text you. Let me call Jeffrey Kramer.

That's my co-writer. We write the show together because it's a fictional show. It's not real. They're all scripts and then actors read the scripts. Hey, what's up? Hey, this is going to sound weird. Did you see the email from Lucy yesterday? It was sent to our info at nightfell address.

Uh, Lucy. That's the one. Yeah, let me see. Hi, whoever this is, I don't know what you're getting at, actual broadcast from an actual town. Where are you pretending? Yeah, I don't know. It's just a weird. weird fan email. We get those sometimes. Probably don't respond, I'd say.

I called her. Okay. So she insists that she can hear the broadcast on her radio and that Nightfail is real. But it's not. No, I know. I know. You know what, this was silly. Sorry for bothering you. Tell your cats hi. Oh, I will tell them that right now. Reba, Barry, Carol. Uncle Joseph says hi. Okay. So I'm just like Googling Nightvale, which she's, usually comes up with a picture of, I don't know, our books or our live shows or fan art. Top result is our website usually, but that's not okay. That's not what I'm seeing. Town of Night Vale population.

Founding Date Wikipedia link? The city itself has a Wikipedia page. It's pretty extensive. There are user picks of Grove Park and the Moonlight All Night Diner. And... Okay, hold on. I'm going to Google the Moonlight All Night Diner. It has a Yelp listing.

Oroboros Road, night veil, open 24 hours, 4.3 stars with 267 reviews. Luann says, you have to try the invisible pie. It's just an empty plate, and also it's delicious. None of this stuff was here before. There was a fan wiki, I think. Where did the fan wiki go? I'm clicking on our own site. Welcome to Nightville.com, and it's a page for a Burger King in Toledo, Ohio.

There's a close-up picture of a deep friar. Weird choice. And a notice that they're hiring. I think our site got hacked. That's a thing, right? Burger King, hacking podcast sites. I think I heard about that on all things considered. I need to...

I'm going to call Cecil Baldwin again. Obviously, he's the actor reading the scripts, so he knows that it is fake, and it would be helpful, I think, right now, for me to hear that. I don't know. I don't need an excuse. I'm just gonna... Hi, you've reached Cecil.

I don't listen to my voicemails, but go ahead and leave one. That's okay. I'll call him later. We'll be available later. It's... It's just so... So I've been writing Welcome to Nightfield script.

since early 2012. I started out writing this paragraph about lights above the Arby's, and it just felt right, and I kept following that feeling. I was 25 years old when I wrote that first little bit of Night Vale. So if Nightville is real, if these are actual broadcasts from a small desert town, then what have I been writing? Who am I? Where do I fit in this reality?

You know, these aren't small questions. It's not a small thing finding out that your fiction is just real now, I guess. Could I go visit Nightfail? No, I wouldn't. I mean, I couldn't. Oh, wait, the Delta app shows there are direct flights from JFK to the Randy Newman Memorial Nightville Airport. No, I won. Hey, Jeffrey, what's up?

Okay, so I've been doing some digging, and I think I know what, what's going on. Okay, great. I'm really glad someone does. Nightvale is real now. It became real. Well, it's always been real. It's a town in the southwest, a very, very weird town, and it exists and always has,

but that wasn't the case even yesterday. This is, if I'm honest, it's not making a ton of sense to me. Well, that's because it's simultaneously super confusing, and, completely simple. Nightville was never real and then one day it was always real. It went from fiction to nonfiction and when that happened, its entire history

became nonfiction too and so it always existed. I do not know how to react to that. Yeah, it's wild. Hey, did you see the expense report, Joe Ellicent? I have not looked at it yet. So what does that mean for us? I mean, if we wrote

this fiction and now this fiction is real, does that mean, are we gods? Are we in danger? It was great on theology, but both of those are possible. I mean, I'd say danger is more likely than us suddenly being divine. Carol, no. I'm sorry, Carol has learned that she can climb curtains now. That cat's a real bowl of mashed potatoes. She used to be when she was a kitten. Now she's more of a teenage dirt bag. I am sorry, I'm still. extremely caught up on this night fill is real now thing. Do you know if Cecil's okay?

I mean, our Cecil? I'm not sure. No! Sorry, Carol's acting out. I have to go. Oh, uh, bye. So, this seems a good time to try Cecil again. He probably was just a little busy.

It's usually a busy time of year for him, I think. Probably didn't see my calls yet. I'll just give me one moment. The number you dialed is not. not a working number. Please check the number and dial again. The number that marked no is in service. Verificel.

What the f... I don't... Okay. Okay. Sorry. I'm just going to... I'm just going to pause this recording for a bit. I'm going to drive down to Cecil's apartments, a couple hours.

I need to understand what's happening. I will be back in a moment. This is just one of those things. You ever had one of those days? That's a day, you know? It's just a day, capital A, capital D. In the meantime, here's a song I like. Find myself on the freeway, driving so fast the treesway when I blow past.

I've nearly wrecked on the DJ. Quit playing my favorite hits because I was changing the station quick. Let's face it. What is it really mean? If I let your song play to the end and never feel a thing. Me, I've got illuminational time release that it's straight to the 87. I'll fight 90 East. Life is great.

Looks like I'm making the right mistake. On my shit like Nadee is a fighting weight Can't drop the ball for light work And I'm high skirts and tight shirts In the shopping mall I might flirt With a slice murk or not at all Surrended to foolish fool again To pursue what I'm truly meant to do with my full intent

In past recollection is clear My peers were too distracted Getting eaten cracking beers To perfect the craft all those years Still they know that I care We're showing up there when America Airlines Can lower the fare Here's the second tries

Cheers to a better life If you feel excuse me I was clear names In my phone I don't recognize It's past due for making Changed start a new hard to do fixated on pain when a brain supports washing away any fame and glory of many who came before me same when story just painted poorly Hues are blue over shades of green never dated Jad is one of the greatest shades of green I mean I'm easily amazed with the way sun rays seem to break through leaves as if to create laser beams How it sways and leans and a breeze sweep in the landscape like waves of a stream of all the breathtaking

scenery that I've seen in nature's kingdom these are few of my favorite things however true with a subtle accent of a raven's wings Second try. Misunderstood, and there I stood under a burden. Judgment unto what I heard, because my slumber was stirred. Life is finite. My entire life I have yet to be disenchanted, admiring the fireflies a twilight by night.

I wrote this next of a window zeal upon which your whippoor will sit so still. The pain is merely a cheap frame of a picture on which a tree stands between me and the Hudson River. I wish to see threefold of my complete view with the top floor, but I don't need to, not anymore. I'm content with a deep blue glimmy of the skyline. sneaks through somehow is it the renew can this be true the DJ quit playing my favorite hit so let's face it change the station here's the second tries here's the will better life nothing quite re-energize

it's like a farewell with the petty lies here's the second try okay I went to Cecil's apartment there was no answer in the bell but the front door was open so I went upstairs and knocked there was nothing again it was unlocked so I went inside on the other side of the door was a back hallway of a restaurant it looked like white tile white walls a door that said storeroom three bathrooms you know the usual so i went down the hallway and i was calling for cecil just like hey cecil you there and i was in a diner and there were all these people looking at me a woman walked up she she had a name tag that said laura and she had branches growing out of her chest and her arms and her neck.

And that sounds whimsical, but I want you to imagine the reality of that. The strange, rough skin where the flesh meets bark and the way it twists up out of the body, it was a lot to try to wrap my head around. This woman, Laura, asked me, are you looking for Cecil? He's not here right now.

He's usually at the radio station, so I thanked her and I stumbled out in sunset right now. where I am in the small desert town. The wind is hot, and it smells like honey in mud. There is a loud thumping sound as a black helicopter flies overhead, disappearing into the last of the sunlight behind the mountains. Man walks up.

He is covered in microphones, more microphone than man, and he says, interloper, what are you doing here? And I say, I don't know how I got here. I don't understand what is happening. And he nods sympathetically and says, this is common. The whole time, he is furiously scribbling down notes in a notepad, and blinking red recording lights flash over his body,

like a city scene from an overnight flight. I have to go, I say, and I start running. And that's where I am now. Running down this road in a desert town, I invented. I'm passing by a, a strange. mall where there is a big RICO's pizza and I made up that name. I made up that name and here it is. Sign in the window. Now serving wheat and wheat byproducts. What's in the kitchen doesn't look like weed. That looks... Oh my God. Oh, God. Okay. Okay. Keep moving. Next door there is a laboratory

in bright and buzzing neon lights. It says, his lab. Science while you wait. And then another big neon sign of a guy in a lab coat and his legs does a high kick in a repeating animation. It's kind of cute actually. There's police tape

all over the door, lots of signs saying, warning, science, and curiosity forbidden. Lots of old police tape peeling and layered on top of each other. Down the road, I can see the desert flower

bowling alley and arcade fun complex. Looks like it's really hopping tonight. I guess that's where everyone is. Parking lot full of cars and government agents taking down the license plate numbers of the vehicles and then giving the slips of paper to birds who fly

away to make nests with them. And oh, oh, oh. There's the radio station. That's not how I imagined. It's a wind. Indulous concrete structure. Looks abandoned.

Weather beaten. Cursed by God, it looks like no human being has breathed within it for a thousand years. I guess I have to... I guess I'm going in. I'm at the door. It's chained shut, but the lock has rested off.

I'm pulling out the chains. I'm opening the door. It smells like... like malt and dust. There's no lights on. It doesn't seem like there's any power. I see a door that says station management. I hear movement inside, but I'm not, I wouldn't.

I'm not going to go in there, obviously. The door is warm. It's hot actually. Ow! Well, I guess this has been listener questions. Thanks to everyone who wrote in. Sorry I couldn't get to all of you. Let's do one more, just to round out the episode.

episode. Martin asks, what was the most fun episode to make? Great question, Martin. There's so many. What was that? What was that? Sorry, I thought I saw, but it was nothing. There's no one else in here. It's dark and abandoned. Well, Martin, I liked making episode 67, best of. That was fun. and episode 71, the registry of middle school crushes. That was a good time to write. Thanks for your email. Thanks for listening. There was nothing.

There was nothing behind me. Because nothing looks like that. Hold on. I hear someone talking. Hello? I see a light on. I think it might be the booth. Cecil?

Good memories of when you did. Good night, Night Vale. Good night. Welcome to Nightvale as a production of Nightvale Presents. It is written by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Kraner and produced by Dissor. The voice of Joseph was Joseph Fink. The voice of Lucy was Julia Mory Zawa. The voice of Jeffrey was Jeffrey Kraner.

Carol is a bowl of mashed potatoes. The voice of Nightvale is Cecil Baldwin, original music by Dysperition. All of it can be found at disparition.bancamp.com. This episode's song Joseph liked was Hey by Standpoint, featuring Lady Daisy River. Find out more at soundcloud.com slash standpoint dash one. Comments, questions, email us at info at welcome to nightvail.com, or follow us on Twitter at Nightvale Radio. or eat a garlic scape you foraged from the side of the road.

Check out Welcome to Nightvale.com for info about our live-streamed performance of all hail, which is tonight. But you can watch it at any point over the next month, and you know what? You should. Today's proverb, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. But then, there is also a light at the end of an anglerfish's tendril. Hey, it's Jeffrey Craneer speaking to you from spring of 2020. and did you know we are on tour in Europe? Welcome to Nightville. We'll be live on stage in Edinburgh on May 27th, Manchester on May 28th, London on May 29th, and Amsterdam on May 30th. This brand new live

show is called Murder Night in Blood Forest, starring Cecil Baldwin, Symphony Sanders, me, and live original music by disparition. These tours are so much fun and they're for the diehard fan and the Nightvale new kid alike. So bring your family, your partner, your co-workers, your cat, whatever. they don't got to know what Nightville is to like the show. Tickets to these shows are on sale now at Welcome to Nightveil.com slash live. Don't let time slip away. Get your tickets. Don't miss us when we're in your town because otherwise we'll all be sad. Get your tickets to our Europe Live tour right now at Welcome to Nightville.com slash live. And hey, thanks.