Welcome to Night Vale - 97 - Josefina

Episode Date: November 1, 2016

A visit with an old friend. Plus, updates on Hiram, and changes to the subway. The voice of Old Woman Josie was Retta. Weather: "Everywhere" by Ex Hex (exhexband.com) Music: Disparition, disparition.info. Logo: Rob Wilson, robwilsonwork.com. Produced by Night Vale Presents. Written by Joseph Fink & Jeffrey Cranor. Narrated by Cecil Baldwin. More Info: welcometonightvale.com, and follow @NightValeRadio on Twitter or Facebook. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Howdy y'all. It is Jeffrey Craneer. I'm not sure which episode of Welcome to Nightville you're listening to, but I am speaking to you from April of 2026. And I'm here to tell you we're going to be in Europe. If you want to see Nightville live and you're going to be in Europe, come check us out at the end of May. We're going to be in Edinburgh on May the 27th. We will be in Manchester on the 28th, London on the 29th, and Amsterdam on May the 30th. Just go to Welcome to Nightville.com slash live to see the show dates and to get your tickets. This is. our newest Nightville live show Murder Night in Blood Forest. It is so much fun. Please come check it out. Also, coming up this month here in April, it is the return of Alice Isn't Dead, brand new episodes of our other crazy hit podcast. This is written by Joseph Fink, produced and with music by Dissan and starring Jacique and Nicole. So make sure you are still subscribed to Alice Isn't Dead and go get those on April the 13th as new episodes come out. Finally, speaking of other shows, do you want to hear us talk about other things? things. We have three other really great chat shows. First of all, there's Good Morning Nightvale for all of your Nightvale needs. You can hear Hal, Meg, and Symphony talk about every single

episode in order of Welcome to Nightvale. Also, we have Random Horror Number 9. That is me and Nightville star Cecil Baldwin talking about horror movies one at a time in a random order. And then Joseph and Meg do best, worst, which is a really fun podcast where they look at hit TV shows and they review the best rated on IMDB, the worst rated on IMDB, and if you're a Patreon member, they will review the middleest rated on IMDB. So check out all of those at Nightvillepresents.com or just wherever you get your podcast. And hey, thanks. Why do birds appear every time you are near? It's likely they planted a tracking device on you. Welcome to Nightvale. Listeners, I've been thinking about old woman Josie a lot lately.

She broke her hip a couple months ago and has been recovering at home with her daughter, Alondra, as well as several beings named Erica, whom Josie refers to as... Now, it's illegal to acknowledge the existence of angels in Nightvale, but it's certainly not illegal to point out how loving and kind those beings, whatever they may be, have been to Josie. I really miss having Josie around, especially since bowling league started back up last month. Apparently her hip healed, but she has had a series of infections that led to her going back to the hospital, where doctors told her there was nothing they could do about the polio virus. Alondra said that her mother didn't have polio, but the doctors explained it didn't matter.

The virus existed in the world, and there was nothing they could do about it. Allandra pointed out that there was a polio vaccine had been one for decades. The doctors closed up their books, snorted, and walked briskly from the room saying, Good Day, without making eye contact. The angels tried to physically carry the doctors back into the room, but Alondra just got an antibiotic prescription and took Josie home. In today's show, I wanted to share a little bit with you, Night Vale. about Josephina Ortiz, her life as a Nightville citizen, lover of the arts, and friend of mine.

But first, a word from our sponsors. Today's show is brought to you by Walmart. For every product you can think of, home, office, garden, automotive, toys, clothes, groceries, there's your neighborhood Walmart and are always low prices. For every product you cannot think of, repressed memories, forbidden knowledge, an incorporeal twin sibling dwelling in the back of your brain, antimatter, uranium, there's also Walmart. We will sell you anything, whether you can comprehend it or not.

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any purchases at Walmart. Low price guaranteed, not available in Michigan. To tell some of her fantastic stories today, I've asked Josie to join me on the show. I have her on the line now. Hi, Josie. Are you feeling up to League Night this week? Hi, Cecil. I'm always up for League Night. I'll be ready next week, or the week after that.

I've asked my friend Sarah to fill in for me while I'm gone. She's never bowed before, but she's a quick learner. She is also a fifth-sized River Rock, so I'm not sure she can even pick up a ball and roll it. But like I said, she's a quick learner. Our team will be just fine. Josie, we're talking today about your history in Night Vale. I think more than anything, your love of opera has been your greatest gift to our town.

My favorite opera growing up was Puccini's Toska. My mother had a copy we played on our victrola, which we disguised as an icebox so that the secret police did not know about it. Listening to music was illegal then. A minimum 90-day sentence for anyone caught hearing opera, jazz, or symphonies. Even hearing someone walking in rhythm could be construed as a crime. It wasn't legalized until John Cage wrote 4 minutes 33 seconds. The sheriff had to arrest anyone caught sitting in silence for that length of time, and our prisons became quickly overcrowded,

so they decriminalized listening to music. This was great for my father, who had run the old Nightville Opera House since it was built in 1904. His early productions were rich with colorful, ornate sets and glorious costumes, professionally trained singers who were only allowed to describe what they would sing with their gorgeous booming voices, and orchestras who shouted out, loud music here!

Or whispered, Soft music here. Underneath the text. When listening to music became legal, I begged Poppy to make Tosca the first opera he performed with full singing and orchestration. It's about an Italian singer whose city is invaded by Napoleon. A young man falls in love with her,

but she doesn't notice because she's also the general of the Italian army, and she crushes Napoleon, and brings peace to Europe and frees the enslaved people of strength. You played for me, a version of Leontyne Price singing the famous aria from Toska. What was that called? It was called, What Up, Spitz? You're free now. Sadly, the old opera house sat dormant after its last performance in 1983. And ultimately, we had to tear it down in the 1990s because of a puppy infestation.

When we began demolition in 1994, I first met the angels. They wouldn't reveal themselves to me for another 18 years, but they were very tall and they promised to help me. They had no money and no skills and no real knowledge of opera. I gave them a dollar and told them to get lost. Just so the surveillance van across the street can hear, I totally don't

believe in angels. Thanks, Josie. More stories from your time in Nightvale soon. First, let's get to some news. Intern Karim reports that Hiram is in surprisingly good spirits for a five-headed dragon

who is on death row. His execution is slated for later this month. His sister, Hadassah, and her five-headed dragon lawyers, have been negotiating with Mayor Dana Cardinal for his release, but talks seemed to have stalled late last month when the dragons destroyed most of Night Vale. Hiram spelled out a pretty elaborate escape plan. He told Karim he had been watching the patterns of the guards in the prison,

befriending a few key members of the security scene, staff and had gotten a friend of his to slip in some contraband to help with breaking the shackles constraining his five necks, wings, tail, and feet. Hiram would not identify the exact name of his friend, but he said she was a faceless old woman who secretly lived in your home. Wow, Kareem, your report is really hard to read. God, it's all crossed out. And then you wrote a bunch of stuff in black marker over it?

What is this mess even say? Off the record, do not read on air. Oh, okay. None of what I said just happened, listeners. Hiram's in prison. That's the news. And now back to Old Woman Josie. Tell us more about your life in all.

opera. My mother passed away when I was 28 and Poppy did not last long after that. They were in love since they were 15 and did not want to be apart for longer than they had to be. So I joined the Nightvelle Board of Culture in order to stay active with the opera house and to support other artistic endeavors in town. In my 50 years on the board of culture, we started a youth orchestra society, founded the Nightvale Community Theater, ordered the removal of all French horns from the high school marching band, and support. supported a performance art initiative to put tarantulas in bags and leave them in the back seats of unlocked cars. The arts have always thrived here in Nightville.

And many people have applied to serve on the Board of Culture. During my last few years of service, several of the beings who called themselves Erica began applying to be on the board. They still had no money or skills, but they seemed to know a lot more about opera and music and theater. But the city would not allow them on the board because they said the beings named Erica did not exist. I didn't understand it at the time, so I asked them all to serve on an unofficial advisory committee. I made up to get more arts lovers involved. I didn't believe in angels, certainly, but I did believe whatever they weren't. They cared about art.

Let's take a news break here, and then we'll return to Old Woman Josie. The Nightville Transit Authority today announced that they would be reopening the subway, which was closed three years ago, less than half a day after it opened. Spokespersons from the Transit Authority wearing deer masks and performing a ritual dance involving waving hands above their heads while squatting with their legs spread outward, distributed roaches to citizens. Upon each roach was a single word. Sometimes the word was something obvious like train or service or schedule, but others had less mass transit related words like crates and desert. and destroyer, and on one particular roach, just the word, hunt o'car. After several hours of people screaming and swatting at their hair and pants,

reporters determined that all of the word-marked roaches comprised a press release, detailing all of the pertinent information about the subway reopening. So, as soon as we find all the roaches and place them in the correct order, will bring you more information on the subway. Speaking of re-opening's, Josie, you managed to construct the new Old Nightvale Opera House last year. It was three years before that when I realized it was possible. The angels, who had served for 10 years in a secret advisory capacity for the Board of Culture,

finally revealed themselves to me. I was changing light bulbs on my porch, and my back and balance were not what they once were, and I fell off my step-ladder. These tall winged friends, all named Erica, lifted me before I hit the ground. A bright black glow illuminated the air around them and me. One of the angels gently twisted out the old bulb and replaced it. They handed the burned bulb to me and said,

We can change things. I told them, yes, you are angels. I believe in you. You are angels and you can change things. We, we can change things. And then the same angel said, I just meant the light bulb. We can change light bulbs.

But I wanted to change the burned-out opera house. I wanted to build a new one. And the Angels called upon Nightvelle's richest citizen billionaire Marcus Vanson to join their ranks. And they bought the StrexCorp Corporation, liquidated its assets, things like office computers, military-grade helicopters, and mind control collars. The angel who used to be Marcus managed the StrexCorp Foundation and used those funds to build the new opera house. I always wondered what happened to Marcus. Opera is vital to this city, more than you know. Alondra is a good daughter moving back to her hometown,

a town she never liked much to take care of her ailing mother. I'm getting around. I really am better, Cecil. But Alondra, she's treating this hip thing like hospice or something. She's asking me about my will, about where I keep my records. She's going through my stuff asking what things I want to keep and what we can get rid of. She's always been a high-strung and organized child. I'd like your bowling ball if you're getting rid of things.

It's yours, Cecil. Thanks, Josie. I won't need it for a long time. I'm sure of that. Let's finish up our retrospective of Old Woman Josie in just a moment, listeners. But first, let me get to the weather. We're back in the studio with Old Woman Josie. Are you and Alondra getting along okay? Alonja is a good girl, but she never wanted to live in Nightvale. I haven't seen her for almost 20 years and she's doing fine living wherever she's living.

Aklahama, I think she called it. Apparently it's an actual state, but I couldn't find anything about it when I looked it up. I think it's in Texas somewhere. Either way, I left Alonja mostly out of my will. I mean, family things like photo albums, ancestry records, and any of the hot milk I keep in my hot milk drawer, I left to her. I don't want her to not have anything. I love her. But I left Strex Corp to the Angels, to the Erika's, who helped establish the foundation, who managed the foundation, who have done nothing but support opera

and all the arts here in Nightvale for decades. Well, that makes perfect sense. Is she mad, though? I mean, that none of the money you have is going to her. Not at all. She understands. Plus, she's built a comfortable life for herself. She doesn't want or need money,

but the city does not recognize. recognize the existence of Angel, Cecil. Without me, they cannot legally run Strex Corp. So it will be left to my next-of-kin, which is Alondra. Alandra doesn't want to manage an arts foundation. She doesn't want to stay in Night Vale to underwrite new play openings or poetry-shaming festivals or sculpture punching gardens. She plans to close down the foundation and donate the money back to the city. That sounds great? Cecil, the Erika's built that foundation. They built that opera house.

Everything they have worked for will be liquidated and given to the very city which denies their existence. Cecil, I need your help. The angels need your help. The opera needs your help. Josie, I... Angels are real, Cecil. Say it. Josie, you said it yourself.

You're feeling better. You're up and about. Alondra's just reacting to stress, but she'll get to go home soon now that you're healed. You're right, Cecil. We'll talk about this more next week at League Night. We're not done here. Okay, Josie. Oh, and before we go, thanks, everyone who's been bringing food by the house while I've been under the weather.

Your old friend Earl came over. I remember you two used to be joined at the hip, wearing your Boy Scout uniforms and necker chips and baseball gloves. Hmm. I don't remember any of that. Earl brought me a delicious apple pie he baked himself. He used a butter crust and fresh-picked mechanics. brown apples. He even added some cranberries, capers, and metal shavings. What a clever chef. So thanks to Earl and you, Cecil, for looking out for me. Thanks for sharing your life with

Night Vale, Josie. Stay tuned next for the sound of a balloon popping. Stay tuned. It will happen. Eventually. Any minute now. Stay tuned. And it's a minute now. Stay tuned. as always. Good night. Nightvale, good night. Welcome to Nightvale is a production of Nightvale Presents. It is written by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Craneer and produced by Joseph Fink. The voice of of Nightvail is Cecil Baldwin. The voice of Old Woman Josie was Reda. Original music by disparition. All of it can be found at disparition.info or at disparation.com.com. This episode's weather was everywhere by X-Hex. Find out more at X-Hexband.com. Comments, questions, email us at info at welcome to nightvail.com or follow us on Twitter at Nightveil Radio or meditate for hours

in silence. Check out Welcome to Nightfail.com for more information on this show as well as books we make because we make books as well as podcasts. And while you're there, consider clicking the Donate Link. It's how we make the things we do. Today's proverb. If there's not a race to get to the dance competition on time, then your screenplay isn't finished. Are you squeamish about horror movies, but kind of want to know what happens? Or are you a horror lover who likes thoughtful conversation about your favorite genre? Join me, Jeffrey Craneer, and my friend from Welcome to Nightville, Cecil Baldwin, for our weekly podcast, Random Number Generator Horror Podcast Number Nine, where we watch and discuss horror movies in a random order.

Find, here's the short version, Random Horror Nine, wherever you get your podcasts. Boo.