Welcome to Night Vale - Bonus Episode 4 - Pamela Winchell

Episode Date: July 1, 2015

An excerpt from our new touring live show "The Investigators," featuring Cecil Baldwin and Desiree Burch as former mayor Pamela Winchell. Get the entire "The Investigators" album (and other live shows) at nightvale.bandcamp.com The voice of Pamela Winchell is Desiree Burch. Night Vale Tour Dates, Books & More: welcometonightvale.com. Music: Disparition, disparition.info. Logo: Rob Wilson, robwilsonwork.com. Produced by Night Vale Presents. Written by Joseph Fink & Jeffrey Cranor. Narrated by Cecil Baldwin. More Info: welcometonightvale.com, and follow @NightValeRadio on Twitter or Facebook. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, Nightville, it is Jeffrey Craneer speaking to you from April of 2026 with a couple of cool things coming up. First off, we're going to be in Europe during our newest Nightville live show, Murder Night in Blood Forest. We're going to be in Edinburgh, UK, on May 27th. We'll be in Manchester on the 28th. We will be in London on May 29th, and we will be in Amsterdam on May the 30th. You can get tickets for these shows at Welcome to Nightville.com slash live, and hopefully we'll have more. shows coming up later this year. Who knows? Just get on our newsletter. Go to Welcome to Nightville.com. Sign up for our newsletter. We will send you emails twice a month to let you know

all of the news that you need to know about Welcome to Nightville. One of the big news things to tell you right now is that our other hit podcast, Alice Isn't Dead, is coming back on April the 13th, written by Joseph Fink, produced by Disparition and starring Jacica and Nicole. More episodes of Alice Isn't Dead return on April the 13th. So make sure you are still subscribe to that podcast. Finally, do you want some cool nightbale merch? Go to Welcome to Nightville.com, click on store, and we have

all kinds of cool t-shirts, things for the summer, tank tops, beach towels. And if you like coffee mugs, if you want calendars, if you want backpacks, all kinds of cool stuff there. So check out Welcome to Nightville.com and click on store, click on live. If you want to see our live shows, we will see you in Europe.

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Hello, I'm Jeffrey Fink, and this is welcome to Nightvale, and we are on hiatus this month. You can tell we're on hiatus because we released an episode. This episode is very short, and here is what it is. It's an unreleased clip from our previous touring live show, featuring the incredible Desire Birch as Nightvale Director of Emergency Press conferences, Pamela Winchell. Yes, this is finally the day where you get to hear one of her emergency press conferences for yourself, and Desiree will be taking part in our live tour this September in the UK and Ireland. So you can get a little taste of what that might be like.

It'll be different words and stuff, don't worry. But speaking of live shows, I have some big news for Canadian and American listeners. We are bringing the Welcome to Nightville Live Show your way this October and November. We are coming to Montreal, Toronto, Winnipeg, our first ever show in Manitoba, Edmonton, Vancouver, Sacramento, San Diego, Denver, Oklahoma City, Austin, and Madison, Wisconsin. The city so nice, they named it. Tickets for all of these shows go on sale Friday, July 10th at noon local time. The tour will feature live music by Disparition, special guest stars, weather by Eliza Rickman, and of course, Cecil himself.

By the way, right at the top of the tour, we'll be back in Minneapolis for the first ever nerdcon, October 9th and 10th, and if you can get to this thing, you should. The lineup of fantastic storytellers is, it's fantastic. Maybe you don't live in Canada or America because you live in the UK or Ireland or somewhere else in Europe and you want to see a live show. Well, as I said, we'll be there in September and tickets are already on sale. So check out Welcome to Nightfail.com and click on live shows for a complete list of dates and venues in the UK, Ireland, Canada, and the US happening this September, October, and November. Look, chances are if you exist, we will exist near you soon.

happen to exist on any of the five continents we are not currently going to. Oh, one last thing. Remember when we said we'll be at San Diego Comic-Con and we'll tell you the specifics of what we're doing later? Guess what? It's later. So Jeffrey and I will be hosting a panel on Friday, July 10th at 8 p.m. about the upcoming Welcome to Nightville novel. Then on Saturday from 1 to 4 p.m., there will be a Welcome to Nightville party hosted by Tumblr with a variety of nightfall activities and also food. and you don't even need a badge to get in. Wow. Finally, all weekend, there will be Nightfield Giverways at the HarperCollins booth

and at the Tapatico booth, a Comic-Con exclusive poster and shirt designed by the ever-great Jessica Hayworth. Just wait till you see these things. I was blown away when I saw them. I know that's a lot to take in, so go to Welcome to Nightfail.com and click on live shows to get all those details. Finally, our website has links to pre-order that Nightfail novel I mentioned, which comes out October 20th.

We're so excited for this book. We've never had to wait so long to share something we wrote. So please pre-order it now so you two can share in our agonizing anticipation. This has been Joseph Craneer. Thanks for listening. In response to the murderer-on-the-loose situation, Mayor Dana Cardinal has sent her official Night Vale Director of Emergency Press Conferences to issue an emergency press conference.

Unfortunately, the press conference gazebo is currently on fire due to routine maintenance. So, this press conference will be held right here in our studio. Please welcome former mayor Pamela Winshull. Hello, members of the press corps. Hello, people of the public. Hello, visiting dignitaries. wandering spirits, and hidden royalty disguised as local farmers due to troubles in their home country. I would like to start this emergency press conference with a joke.

Okay, so what did the dog say to the bartender? Death is just a tone of soil. But then, my friend, so is life. Hold any laughter for the end of the presentation. please? Citizens, there is a murderer among us striking at us from the shadows. Yeah, so what? This morning, my wrist was sore. I don't know why. I woke up and it was sore. Does anyone know why? If you know why, please notify a town official. I think it's probably a joint thing. Maybe you'll all make it through today. Maybe you won't. I mean, what am I some kind of expert on you? I'm not. I don't think.

You know, it has been a long time since college, and I don't remember what it was that I studied. I mean, plants? Are plants a thing? Pure fiction. Okay, not that then. It is important in times of emergency to remain calm. This won't keep you safe. Whatever was going to happen to you will happen to you anyway. But you will be less irritating to those around you as it happens. I mean, people usually make such a fuss and a bunch of noise when in mortal danger, and some of us are trying to read right now, thank you. Eating is why my wrist is sore. I should have stretched more before doing something that takes this much hard physical labor. Maybe. Maybe. Mayor Cardinal asked me to come to speak to you.

I have come to tentatively respect Mayor Cardinal, although I maintain a slight suspicion that she may be a number of super-sensient lizards in a neat costume. I have the same suspicion toward all people, including myself. Anyway, Mayor Cardinal asked me to relay some important emergency info to all of you. So, here it is. On the edge of the known universe is a campfire, and around it are three figures, indistinct and huddling.

Refugees from the universe before our own. They will never be able to return home. And metaphorically, neither will any of us. We are all metaphorically huddled around a campfire at the edge of the known universe. but in literal terms only those three figures are and no one knows their names

and no one ever will the night veil municipal government hopes that this emergency information was helpful to you as always if you are in need of assistance please don't bother me thank you Cecil I will now step into the circle I drew in the sand with my big toe and vanish in a flash of green smoke

well thank you very much and yep, there she goes, flash of green smoke. Looks like she still has a little bit of that mayoral power left inside her. Welcome to Night Vale is a production of Commonplace Books. It is written by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Craneer. The voice of Night Vale is Cecil Baldwin. The voice of Pamela Winchell was Desiree Birch. See her one-woman show, Tar Baby, this summer in New York City and Edinburgh.

and see her with the Welcome to Nightveil live show in the UK and Ireland this fall. Original music by Dysperition. All of it can be found at disparition.com or at dysperition.com. Comments, questions, email us at info at welcome to nightvail.com or follow us on Twitter at Nightveil Radio. Check out Welcome to Nightveil.com for more information on this show as well as all sorts of cool nightvail stuff you can own. And while you're there, consider clicking that donate link. That'd be cool of you. Today's proverb, Dodge Ram, good car, even better advice.

Hi, we're Meg Bashwinner. And Joseph Fink. Of welcome to Nightvail. And on our new show, The Best Worst, we explore the Golden Age of Television. To do that, we're watching the IMDB viewer-rated best and worst episodes of classic TV shows. The episode of Star Trek, where Beverly Crusher has sex with a ghost, the episode of the X-Files, where Scully gets attacked by a vicious house cat. also the really good episodes too. What can we learn from the best and worst of great television? Like, for example, is it really a bad episode or do people just hate women?

The best worst. Available wherever you get your podcasts.