Welcome to Night Vale - Excerpt: The Haunting of Night Vale (Live)

Episode Date: July 15, 2023

Cecil asks Sheriff Sam about ghosts. Get the complete recording of The Haunting of Night Vale https://nightvale.bandcamp.com New Touring Live Show starts in September https://www.welcometonightvale.com/live The voice of Cecil is Cecil Baldwin The voice of Sheriff Sam is Emma Frankland Original music by Disparition https://disparition.bandcamp.com/ Written by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, Jeffrey Kraner here. We'll be back on August 1st with more new regular episodes of Nightvale, but in the meantime, we have a live show for you to listen to right now. The Haunting of Nightvale, which we toured to over 60 cities and 15 different countries. That show is no longer touring, but the recording is available to you at this very moment. You just go to our bandcamp page. It's nightvail.bandcamp.com.com. You can get the whole show. So if you saw it and loved it and want to hear it again, awesome. If you did not get a chance to see the haunting of Nightville, it's so creepy, so funny, so much fun. You can listen to the whole thing right now over at nightvail.bancamp.com.

And if you're excited for our live shows, we hit the road again in late September. Just go to Welcome to Nightville.com and click live shows. It'll be a brand new script, and it will, as always, star Cecil Baldwin, featuring Symphony Sanders with original music by Dyspiration. We'll have more details on this new live show soon, but you can get your tickets right now at Welcome to Nightvelle.com and clicking on live shows. But for now, here's a bonus track from our last live show, The Haunting of Nightvale. This one features Cecil and Sheriff Sam, played by the inimitable Emma Franklin. We hope you enjoy it. We hope you get the whole album over at nightvail.bandcamp.com. It is available soon as well at Apple and Amazon Music Stores.

Oh, and hey, thanks. I'm doing my best to understand what is going on here. I mean, I actually did some cleansing rituals, because I thought that might help. You know, I burned some sage. I electrocuted some rosemary. I even tried punching the cumin, but nothing. I was so frustrated that I almost called the police, but that would have involved Sheriff Sam. And then I feel like, I don't know, that was just too much for whatever is going on in my house.

Oh, Cecil. It's Cecil. Too much is never enough. Listeners, please welcome Sheriff, Sam. Sheriff, why are you actually here? Yes, well, you needed the police to deal with some ghosts, didn't you? Well, I mean, I talked about it with my husband, but we never actually called the police. No, you don't have to call the police for the police to hear you.

We don't even have a phone number anymore. We just have microphones hidden in every single house. Park, car, tree, bird, you name it. You don't use 911 anymore? We don't need it. If you're in trouble, we already hear you screaming for help. Yeah, that sounds just a little bit invasive. Convenient.

Yes, I know it does. In fact, just this morning, Jackie Fierro, the owner of the Nightveil Porn Shop, stubbed her toe on the corner of a glass-topped lacquer coffee table. She screamed in pain, possibly fracturing a phalanjus or two, And our microphones picked up her shouts, along with many creative swear words, and my team of secret police were at her shop in minutes. Wait, all of that for a stubbed toe? Yes, we don't have cameras, just microphones.

I don't know if you know this, but an audio-only medium really needs detailed descriptions about what's physically happening. I've heard. You're probably unaware of that fact. But in actual fact, if I can ask for a moment, all nightfall cities, in future to clearly and carefully narrate every action that you're creating as well as any action that is happening to you. That would help us so much. For example, I am speaking aloud whilst gesticulating and then brushing my hair from my face in a slow sort of seductive sweep. That sounds like a lot to ask of the citizens of Nightville.

Well, that's beside the point. Now, you contacted the police because of a haunting? Yes, I did. Oh, well, I mean, okay, okay, okay, okay. So Carlos and I are building this new house out on a robberose road. Oh, yes, I've already been there. Investigated the whole place inside and out. Wait, you need a warrant to do that. I'm the sheriff, not a vampire.

I can enter a home without permission, thank you. Now, what I found there was very strange indeed, Cecil. Okay, it's the one at Cecil, but, okay, did you see or hear, any evidence of ghosts? No, but I found a video camera on the back lawn and watching the footage, I saw a man in a wool cap. He was talking directly into the camera, zoomed so close you could only see his eyes and nose.

He was crying and constantly looking over his shoulder saying, I just want to apologize to my brother and my producer and to HGTV. I'm so, so sorry, it's my fault. I insisted on the picture windows. I insisted on the popcorn ceiling. I insisted the wood backslash was fine. And it's all because of me that we're here now,

hungry and cold and hunted. I'm so sorry. What's that? I'm scared to close the polyurethane tubs, and I'm scared to open them. I'm going to die out here. Okay. Okay.

One, wood back splashes, not fine. Two, that sounds like one of the property brothers. Did you ever find him or... No, we searched all through the house and we saw no one until we entered the basement. It was dark except for a single flashlight. The basement appeared empty until suddenly there was a man,

a property brother, as you say, standing silently facing the corner of the dark, damp room. What happened? Well, I don't know. What? Well, it creeped us out, so we left. Wait, you're the police?

You like law and order and you're supposed to be protecting our citizens. You said we didn't become police to protect the citizens. No, you're on your own, Cecil. Cecil? Cecil. Cecil? Cecil?

Cecil? Cecil? Cecil? Cessel? But if you should need us for a pickpocket or a Jay Walker, just talk clearly into the dining room ceiling fixture. Okay, ta-ta-ta. All right. Thank you very much. Sheriff Sam, everyone.