Well There‘s Your Problem - Bonus Episode 36 PREVIEW: Golf

Episode Date: December 11, 2023

it's Golf. full episode on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/posts/golf-94501995

Especially after World War II, there was an explosion in the so-called middle-class population. They had more leisure time, and less physically demanding jobs. There was only so much time you can spend at home with the wife and kids. You need time to hang out with the boys. Why not try the stucal thing? Yeah, I mean, sort of the preeminent heterosexual tradition, then and now is hating your bitch wife. Walk away. And so looking for ways to not spend time with this woman that you hate.

So as highways opened up, more land for development became easier and cheaper to build new golf courses. Lots of golf courses couldn't accommodate lots of golfers. Equipment became cheaper and more accessible. Golf clubs started offering lessons to the public so you could golf more good. And suddenly, everyone wanted to spend Saturday out on the course with the boys while the wife stayed home and did who gives a shit. A shitload of quay loads and like your neighbors.

Why a lot of value. Yeah. A lot of value of yeah. Also, some weird. Yeah. Let's be in love affair. My, our, our school super tend tender got fired for embezzlement, but also she was having a secret gay affair,

which is all the kicker to that whole thing. Chicks rock. Yeah, so I mean, this is the thing, right? This ostensibly should be a good thing, right? We're democratizing the thing. Rich snobs don't get to have the hobby exclusive anymore. They let Italians do it. But their hobby exclusive anymore, you know, they let Italians do it. But on the other hand, you know, yeah, we've now made many more people,

golfers and a golfer is a terrible thing to be. Simultaneously to that. I'll rise that. Hmm, I have thoughts. I'm working up to the real. Yeah, the sort of distinction that shows up between amateur and professional golfers, right? So amateur and professional golf was originally largely a class-based distinction with the professionals looked down upon.

No, like cricket. Yeah, the professionals were looked down upon by the affluent amateurs who golf for pleasure and not to make money. Now, there's still a strict definition of amateur and professional but it's less class based, right? Pro golfers are usually folks who make a living doing golf instruction or they run a golf course or even just a pro shop at the golf course. Being professional doesn't necessarily correlate with skill. You get to be a very talented amateur that's better than a professional but the professional is someone who spends most of their time playing golf, being around golf, doing golf stuff, right? So eventually you get good.

Yeah. And amateurs now are just, you know, anyone they can compete in amateur turn up tournaments with strict rules on maximum prize money and so on and so forth. Speak for yourself, bud. And if you're an especially skilled professional, like Mr. Tiger Woods here, you're gonna be competing in major televised tournaments like the Fijiator, US Open and whatnot.

Some of them become celebrities, some of them don't. That is professional athletes, you know. Yeah, I mean, how many golfers can I name? Tiger Woods, yeah. Leacob out. Yeah, I mean, impressive that you got a woman on there. I, I'm out, you know, Nick Fuldo. I probably should have put a slide in here about women and golf.

And I didn't do that. I guess it is the boys club. It's fine. Whatever. Yeah, this is what boys club. It's fine, but ever. Yeah. This is what happens when we get you guys to write the episodes. On the consortium. Yeah.

On the golf, you came a real estate scam. Oh. Yeah. So I'm already thinking it's kind of staccid out that way. So one thing about golf courses that at least some people think they're pretty to look at, right? It's essentially, no, no, no, totally artificial, unsustainable, ecologically barren, except when an alligator walks through it. Just ugly as sin. They spray paint some of the shit greener or gustor.

is ugly as sin, they spray paint some of the shit greener or gustor, you know, if fucking, they're fake trees and shit. Absolutely not. No. Yeah, because it's essentially, you know, it's a big park that only a few people can use at a time and also you might get hit by a ball. So naturally, golf courses could be the centerpiece of like at Augusta, they literally pipe in bird noise. They literally have loud like concealed loudspeakers to make you think it's more of a natural environment. Yes, they do. Do not do not allow yourself to be gaslit by America's southern planters. So naturally golf courses could also be the centerpiece of big high end. I mean, I don't think we're beating the plan to allegations from Lexington golf club or Lexington Country Club is like a nice place to be.

Okay. Okay. Yeah. And I can't win that one. That was born in 1922, the golf course community at Temple Terraces, Florida. Yeah. The whole community was centered around the golf course and the country club. To the point where the houses didn't even have kitchens. Everyone was supposed to eat meals communally at the country. Golf Communism. Fuck. Yeah.

This is the worst kind of communism that's ever been implemented. I include Stalinism. Yeah. This is where this is where worst kind of communism that's ever been implemented. I include Stalinism. Yeah, this is where this is where the left is kitchen. We have one of your role be in the leftist golf commune. Golf commune. Yeah. Let me get a yeah, everyone wants to run the, the everyone wants to run the pro shop. No one wants to clean the ball washers. Now, originally these were intended as vacation homes with people like the place enough

that once they bought houses, they modified them, put kitchens in the houses and lived permanently on the golf course. Yeah, people really don't like having a shed kitchen. It turns out. permanently on the golf course. Yeah, people really don't like having a shared kitchen. It turns out the same the same thing happened in the Soviet Union. You have a sort of experimental period and then people are like this coming on. Kusaks, I build me a style. Inca, yeah, fucking freaks.

Oh, come on. I get the notes back. I've been waiting for kind of golf style and too much. Yeah. But the popularity of these developments blew up in the 1950s because more people could have bought suburban houses and more people could golf. Now, the financial model, yeah, the financial model for this kind of golf course community is simple. A developer buys the land, they build the golf course and the houses and use the

sale of houses to fund operations of the golf course. Now, symbiotic relationship. If you have a keen eye here, though, you might notice a problem. There's a finite amount of houses to sell, and the golf course has to keep operating continuously. More houses. It's a Ponzi scheme. Yeah, it was a sort of golf-powered Ponzi scheme. So if you keep in mind that not all the homeowners are golfers

and these sorts of clubs are often financially unsustainable and go under relatively quickly, this makes everyone mad. I pay to live next to a golf and then the course shuts down And then some people paid for views of the golf course and now it's either overgrown or it's being redeveloped into houses Or worst of all being turned into a public park Everyone gets mad about this and they try to sue each other happens constantly. Oh Yeah, and then effects of use of land happens constantly. Oh, yeah.

And an effective use of land. Here's some great land use here in Sun City, Arizona. Count the golf courses here. The thing that bothers me most about this is that it's a desert, that it's built on the desert, that you're trying to maintain a lot of extremely manicured grass in a desert. Yeah, it's almost as bad as the alfalfa feels just off camera. Yes.

At least you can eat alfalfa. No, you can. I'm only horses' camera. When, you know, what's that proverb, you know, in the last alfalfa field has burned, only then will we discover that we cannot eat golf balls. Yeah, I believe the actual proverb is, hey, it's for horses.

I think I could eat alfalfa if I needed to. Yeah, I checked this. Devon, can I eat alfalfa? So anyway, speaking of real estate scams, we have to talk about our boy, Donnie from Queens. There he is. He likes golf. He loves it. He loves this shit because it makes him feel like a rich guy. It makes him feel important. It makes him feel, you know, just like an aristocrat, which is his like fondest dream. And I mean, he like, it personalizes a lot of golf shit because

he's trying to imitate a kind of like old money thing, but he just does it by spray painting This is a lot of golf shit because he's trying to imitate a kind of like old money thing But he just does it by spray painting it gold and it looks tacky as fuck and everyone hates it