Well There‘s Your Problem - Bonus Episode 49 PREVIEW: The LA Transit Mass Delirium Incident

Episode Date: May 18, 2025

folks we did it we made one too silly for the main feed full episode on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/posts/129273512?pr=true

Ooh, look at that thermal paste. Mmm, num num num num num, delicious. They tell you not to eat it, but it's because they don't want you to become strong. Well, it's just, it's just Heilman's mayonnaise, right? It's not just Heilman's mayonnaise, it's Heilman's mayonnaise and a little bit of dill. Oh, okay, that makes a lot of sense. We're often eating thermal pastes to smear it, right, on your, by that. Oh, I think you smear the thermal paces, right?

Oh, I like to be a slutty little bagel. I'm trying to smear the thermal paces to my bagel with the little syringe they give you with the gun. With the little syringe, right. That's antisemitism. Uh, but, y'know, as long as they don't scoop the bagel, that is disgusting. That's horrifying. Let me explain the legitimate reasons to scoop a bagel.

Which are that tummy hurt. Wait, why is that a legitimate reason? I don't see the connection there. Cause tummy hurt, and bread hurt tummy. I would sooner die of stomach ailment than lose my dignity. Alright, well, talk to my wife who makes me get my bagel scooped. I would never. Oh my god.

Ever critique her. That's a brutal thing, Susan. Because tummy hurt, and when I eat too much bagel, I poop a lot. But that's not the point. The thing we're here to talk about, bring up, bring up- The thing we're here to talk about is- Is my dad. Because the one time I had a female body inspector t-shirt, it's an FBI female body inspector

Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Back when I ran that parties in Myrtle Beach, don't worry about that. Okay. And then my dad maybe throw it out because it was not, it wasn't that it was like offensive. He's like, oh, this is kind of funny. He's like, that's really misogynist. And I was like, I got, as Noah put it out, outwoked by my dad. Oh, yeah. I thought you were going to say because you were supporting a law enforcement agency and

he was like, not this house. I believe it was both. I believe that it was both. And he was like, that's not funny. Because my dad, I told him to dox my dad. My dad set up a fake church in the 60s to try to waste the FBI's time. It's a real... Wait, hold on.

What type of Protestant was it? I forget, but they bought frocks and stuff, and then they would go around Yukon Law's campus trying to exercise the military recruiters. Wow. Yeah. Oh my god. Was it tax-exempt? Surely.

Must've been. You gotta not ask me questions. Okay, sorry, I think we need a... Let us all follow the liturgy of Liam's dad's church, by counting down from three and then clapping. Oh, yes. Three, two, one, mark. Okay, good.

I'm delayed, I think. I think actually you were on time and Nova was late, but if I say anything- What the f- why- no, I was fine, fuck you. I have been introduced to the concept of time stalling. Uh huh. It was actually my wife. This is not complaining- so, think about my wife, right? Alright, Borat, let's go.

She, my wife, has no concept of how long things will take. She knows what an hour is, right? But she's like, oh you gotta leave like- Intellectually. Right, right. But like, time like just enters her brain and then comes out in some sort of like 7-11 slurpy sludge. Mm hmm. And she's like, Oh, you got to leave it like 715 and I'll be there at like 730. And she's like, Aren't you glad you left early? No, I could have been snuggled up all comfy

cozy. But now here I am at the doctor's office. I am a big toasty cinnamon bun. Saying this more and more. Introduce the fucking podcast. Shut up. We are gathered here today at the church of Liam's dad to do the podcast. It was called Word Fast. All one word. I can't do another episode with church-lassening. We're doing it again!

So Diabdus asks you to do Mormonism, and if I can get Jordan from Bring Him Young Money on here, it'll be a hell of a day. Fantastic. The thing is, then you would have to have the FBI shirt back. Cause that would be like half of the episode. SHIRLEY I could just get one online. ALICE Female bronze plates inspector.

SHIRLEY I'm not looking for female body inspector t-shirt on Google right now. LIAM No, Google it right now so that all your Instagram ads are that for like three years. ALICE The way that you wokeify it is that you get, like, femboy body inspector, and now nobody can get mad at you, because it's not misogynistic. So Los Angeles! Can we sell a femboy body inspector shirt? You can't give me a shirt idea every episode, but yes. Yes, I will make that.

Can you make that up, along with the, we're going to kill you shirt? Yep. Along with that, and along with the Pennsylvania Dutch Air Force. Yeah No, I'm a shirt that I have the Boeing to die shirt, which I have almost accidentally worn to the airport three times It's a podcast about engineering disasters. Not if I can help it. With slides. I'm Justin Rosniak, I'm the person who's talking right now.

My pronouns are he and him. Okay, go. I'm November Callion, the person who's talking now, I have not yet begun to drink. My pronouns are she and her, yay Liam. Oh buddy. Yay Liam, hi. My name is Liam McAnderson, which is now legally my name as of last Friday. Woo!

Yeah. Uh, shut up. I already said my pronouns are he and him. And with us we have a guest returning guest, although not guest champion! Yeah, I think you podium, but you're not quite there yet. No, that's fine. I mean, I don't need to be, you know, I don't need to be number one. I just I'm happy to share your harding.

Well, I was like a piper. I would never I would never do that to Gareth. I would also not do that to Victoria, who once picked me up in an Acura NSX from a bar, making me look extremely cool. Guys. Well, we know real quick. First gender, second gen. You'd have to ask her.

It was an electric. It was electric. It was a hybrid. Yeah. The fancy one. Yeah. Hi. My name is Noah. Sorry, Sykes. My pronouns are he, him, his. I am a community organizer in the great city of Los Angeles, California. My job changed since the last time I did this podcast, so now I do it professionally. ALICE Frequent consequence of being on this podcast.

NOAH Correct. Yeah, it's either your job or your gender, and my gender remains the same. ALICE Give it a minute, see how we are at the end of this. Yeah, exactly. And also, just before we start, because of that job, I have to say that none of the opinions I am about to espouse are the opinions of my employer, and rather are my personal opinions as a resident of the city of Los Angeles, California. Let's go Dodges, baby, we love the Dodges.

No. Hey, I'll just fucking pocket you No, don't fuck with your deferred payments. What would you say had the most money? What would you say had the most money? Yeah, I was at the game where Shaheya Tani did the 40-40 and I'm like, I'm sorry. I'm still not over being lightly outwoked by being told the pronouns are he, him, his, because I didn't include like the third one. I didn't include hers. Oh, sorry. And then also, Emis. And I would say in Spanish, it would be en.

Uh huh. Great. Thank you. Just if you want to add that. Mm hmm. When is the S word at the end of this? I'm gonna call Liam's dad to outwoke all of us here. You've ever been cursed at in Spanish by my dad because that's the thing that's happened to me. That's awesome.

Your dad's so cool. Curses in Maoist Spanish. Liam's dad, there is a caucus for you in DSA. It's called Red Star. My dad was mad at Occupy when they were in Philly because he said to me directly, these kids are pussies. Where are the riots? Where are the cops?

He was bad. They weren't non-peace. Weren't non-peaceful. I believe. Yeah, that they were non-violent. Right. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, no. We didn't write at Pratt Whitney. We write it in the field next to Pratt Whitney. He's right. Actually, get the goods, kids. So here's Roz to ruin my good time.

What you see on the screen here is a large highway with a lot of traffic. The Walt Disney World monorail. What? Yeah, basically. Oh cool, are we going to Epcot? I need like sort of a Spanish guitar riff here. We gotta have one somewhere. Leading all the way into this.

Yeah. Las Sombrita. Oh cool. I see it's doing effective work there. I just want to say a Los Angeles Politico, who I will not name, once said to me, yeah, what we needed was a sombrota, which is... It's true. This is 61 fucking slides. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but some of them are just like...

I'm gonna catch you in real life. Me too. I hope so. I yearn for this. We're gonna all go to Los Angeles, and we are going to... You can't say that on YouTube. Yeah, me and Victoria are gonna swing by in the NSX. We're gonna reverse Tonya Harding your ass.

Yeah. Yeah, we'll be perched on the roof like a game of Call of Duty Warzone. 30 years from now, Sufjan Stevens makes a song about me because of a terrible biopic. I think that was funny. We're gonna build a contraption or, or you know an infernal machine of some kind Yeah, but I get paid to do this that's true Today we're gonna talk about transit in Los Angeles, but first we have to do the goddamn news First, we have to do the goddamn news. All right.

So earlier this week on Monday, Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy canceled a grant for the otherwise fully privately funded Texas Central Railway, a high speed railroad from Dallas to Houston, so that people from Dallas can escape it and go to a place with culture. True. Real. Yeah. So this is, it saved the taxpayers a whopping $60 million, which I think is 20 cents a piece. You know, and this is, this was a grant to M track to sort of keep this

project that's been going on for several decades alive because they, they got through most of the permitting, they got most of the design done. That was all financed privately. Essentially M track brought on Andy Byford, you know, legendary New York City train daddy as they called him. The inventor of the Beiford Dolphin. He managed to keep this project on life support until they could find new private investors because the old investors got spooked by a bunch of lawsuits that the company won.

Investors hate winning, it turns out. It turns out, yeah. Well, the big dispute was they had, in order to sort of, they did something clever to make this project happen, which is someone went through a bunch of old documents at the Texas State Archives and like, hmm, someone had a charter for an interurban railroad back in like 1890 from Dallas to Houston. And the company just never built any track, and then they tracked down the owners and then they bought the charter for like 20 bucks.

And you know, all of a sudden, oh, we're a real railroad and we've been afforded all these privileges like exercising eminent domain, having our own police department, all this other crap. LIAM Sorry, what was that second one? ALICE This is like the Crusader Kings thing of like, forging a claim on somewhere? It's like, you wait for the, you know, you're a fucking court archivist to scheme long enough, and sooner or later you are Duke of Central Texas. LIAM Yeah, exactly. SEAN Isn't this how, correctly if I'm wrong, the Pennsylvanians back-assed their way into DC or Baltimore?

By just buying someone else's charter and just saying, yep, I don't know what you're talking about. JUSTIN Yeah, they bought a charter to build a railroad to Port Tobacco, Maryland, which they were allowed 20 miles of branch line, so at a place called Bowie Maryland, the main line branched off very abruptly towards Port Tobacco, and then there was this little branch line to this little known place called Washington, DC. Um. I've heard of this.

Yeah. Bowie Maryland is also where Six Flags is. Oh yeah. Yeah, I went there a lot as Oh yeah. So anyway, this has been in development hell for a while. A bunch of NIMBYs did a bunch of lawsuits against it. Mostly a bunch of people who say they're small family farmers and own, you know, a trillion acres. Yeah, a ranch roughly the size of Rhode Island. Exactly, exactly. So then this $60 million grant that the Secretary of Transportation has so graciously seen to

cancel to save us the taxpayers' money, was there to facilitate about $40 billion in private funding. Oh, so he's stepping on corporations' rights. Well, some of that funding could've been woke, is the thing. That's a good point. Get in there, Dad! The money and pronouns! He did also say today, however, while criticizing California High Speed Rail, y'know, this is

a wasteful government boondoggle, why doesn't private industry step in and fund it? Well, I don't know. Did cheese, I don't know. Fantastic. So, I mean, it's cool that Elon Musk put Sean Duffy in one of the Fallout bomb collars. Or he just is minded to be like this anyway. Yeah, exactly. And this is, the Texas Central Railroad I'm sure could be a whole episode on its own, it's just disappointing to see, okay, this thing was so close to happening, and then

it just gets curb stomped by a fuckin' moron from reality television. ALICE It's so funny that they had done the hard part, but the hard part was not building anything. JUSTIN Yeah, no, I was getting through, it was winning every single lawsuit that got thrown at them. ALICE Incredible. LIAM Are you tired of winning? It turns out, yes.

Yes they are. JUSTIN Yes they are they are suffering from success Yeah, so I'm DJ Khaled There will be no high-speed rail public or private in the United States except for Brightline West But that's I don't know. I think they might also do something stupid to that pretty soon like they're relying on Low interest government loans for that one.

So, y'know, who knows. Anyway, that's my first rant, my second rant is, in other news... See, I'm like, trying for the phrase, I'm inadvertently clickertrained, but for the phrase, in other news, and that's what makes me hit the thing. You're just walking down the street and somebody on the phone the phrase, in other news, and that's what makes me hit the thing. SEAN You're just walking down the street and somebody on the phone is like, in other news, and suddenly you're like, ahhh! JUSTIN Yeah, I dive for my mixer to try and find the

thing. SEAN Yeah, like, saving private right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. JUSTIN So, absent new funding from the state government, which may or may not happen, we're about to lose about half a septa. SEAN Yeah, we're about to get skullfucked. JUSTIN Yeah.

Sorry, please show. ALICE No trains! JUSTIN Yeah, exactly. ALICE It's like that song from Hail Season, no trains. JUSTIN We have this sort of, every couple years we have a huge budget crisis at SEPTA, the Philadelphia Transit Authority, where, y'know, they have to come out with a big scary map that says, hey, if we don't get the funding we want, we, they have to come out with the big scary map that says, Hey, I mean, if we don't get the funding we want, uh, we're going to have to do all these horrible cuts.

Um, this time around they have essentially decided, all right, we're going to cut about half the bus routes. That's not shown on this map. Uh, we're killing our trolley in North Philly, the 15, uh, we're killing the subway broad ridge spur, um, the number ten trolley, and every regional rail line that uses M-Trac, because I guess they have to pay a big lease to run those. Something like sixty million dollars a year. Which is pretty crazy.

That's insane. I'm trying a lot of different tactics to get you to buy a Tesla. And also a big fer-hike is in the cards. You know, this is, again, also a big, uh, big fair hike is in the cards. Um, you know, this is, again, this happens every couple of years. Usually what happens is, you know, eventually the legislature caves and they're like, yeah, we'll give you a slightly less than you asked for. And then, um, you, you still wind up with permanent service cuts, but, um, you know, this is, I don't know, this starting to get sick and tired

of this happening every couple years. ALICE It's cool, I didn't know this, I didn't know SEPTA operated like the federal government. The way you just get shut downs and then it limps forward a bit, y'know? JUSTIN Yeah, yeah, I mean, that's sort of how we work. Every time Noah texts me to complain about Los Angeles transit, I'm like, damn, you people are building new lines and stuff, holy shit. You guys are struggling to keep on holding on to the ones we got. You're like the kids drowned at the bottom of the pool in the main...

Look, I would simply pass a half cent sales tax like four times. All right. It's fine. No, no, that that's that. You do that. We did this. We did this. We did the Soviet the soda tax. So you have Pennsylvania that may eventually fund one rec center. Oh, wow. It was for pre-K, man. Hold on. Do you have like Pennsylvania Howard Jarvis?

Who the fuck is Howard Jarvis? ZACH Okay, sorry, this is something we will get to later in the episode, but Howard Jarvis is probably one of the Californians with the highest body counts, that I can currently think of because of the- ALICE That's stiff competition. ZACH Yeah, we'll get to it. Anyway, sorry, that's for the Californians, my new adopted people, I guess. ALICE Yeah. So, yeah, we're in people, I guess. Yeah.

So, yeah, we're in pretty shitty state at the moment. The one thing I will say is that I would imagine if they are trying to cut the paily local up here, the old R5, someone's gonna make a big stink in the legislature. Yeah, let's hope. You know, because there's enough rich and powerful people up there that they're gonna... they're gonna have problems with this. That's still a fairly wealthy, you know, computer train, you know, that's a lot of... there's a lot of, uh...

Mainline scumbags, yes. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Horrible wasps. You can't do this to the nice train. Yeah, exactly. Oh, well, everyone who takes SEPTA as a criminal just fuckin' do us a favor and jump in front of the- JUSTIN Well, yeah, this is where the white collar criminals live.

ALICE Yeah. Sorry, I'll have to poop out. I'm telling people to jump in front of us. ALICE I'm against a subway expansion because I don't want white collar criminals to have access to different parts of the city. You can just get a subway train full of guys who are there to embezzle from you, you know? Help, I'm being embezzled.

That bunch of guys doing insider trading. But just like a train full of the guys who made the Joker pop off like that, you know? The embezzling of Pelham 123, thank you. Oh, I'd fucking watch that movie. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, this is a whole kettle of fish here, I guess we'll see what happens. These cuts don't go into effect until like, uh, December or something. The cuts start in July, but the big cuts don't happen until sometime in winter.

ALICE You think the power grid will still be running, then? JUSTIN Well, I mean, it depends on which parts. I mean, if Safe Harbor Dam is still running, there may be a national blackout, but the 25Hz generators at Safe Harbor Dam will still be running, because they're on a separate circuit from everything else. That's crazy, ideally by then Presidenta Scheinbaum will have initiated the Reconquista, thereby re-adding California back to Mexico and we'll be fine.

So, uh... JUSTIN No, buddy, you're going into the sea. ALICE No, not the sea! JUSTIN That's a lot of circuit breakers to install. ALICE Not the sea! That's where we dump our trash! And car batteries. That's where the batteries are.

What's a pirate's favorite computing language? C++. You're supposed to say R. Oh, I forgot about that one. And then I answered no, it'd be the C. It'd be the C, yeah. I still think Pearl is a better answer, but go off. Just pearl.

Why are they all not equal? What's a pirate's favorite element? Argon? Argon? No, it's gold. Fuck you. It's a treasure chest full of useless argon. What am I supposed to do with this?

I would divide this into pieces of eight! Finally the argon to bloom. Alright. Alright. Sharring shift in tone. In other news... Break out the horrors that are still happening. The slide is twenty-five hours long. Yeah. WhereARREN Break out that... ALICE The horrors are still happening. SEAN The latest 25 hours long... where do you wanna

start? The UK Supreme Court just fucking detransitioned my ass today. DARREN Yeah. SEAN Oh yeah. ALICE Yeah, I heard about that one. DARREN All these ghouls throw a f*** every single last one of them. SEAN I'm relying on Devans.

ALICE That's gonna be a long bleep. DARREN Yeah. I don't give a f*** Sorry, Dev, love you. But, uh, yeah, no, I- oh man, this is like a 10k rant where it's just like, I f***ing the president of El Salvador, I f***ing Donald Trump, I f***ing Elon Musk, sorry Devan, I'm getting my buddies worth, I f***ing everyone who works for ICE, Nova's not coming for the live shows, I can say whatever the fuck I want. It's true, it's true.

JK Rowling, all these people, all these cool- Just bleep the verbs, please. All these cool- And then- Every single fucking one of them. May I add, may I add, it is very important to me that in the coming sort of, shall we say, years of lead, that somebody at some point, uh, fuck JDk JD Vance and feeds him his own s**t before sh**ting him in the back of the head.

So, I- ALICE Do we know what a s**t is? I don't think we should- I think we get him with a b**tch. My dad's five dollar s**t from Walmart, use that. ALICE That may have already happened. I think. Well at least someone's still able to get an orchiac to me. So yeah, well yeah. Where do we start with the horrors?

Do El Salvador. El Salvador is pretty bad. They sent a bunch of guys down there to the gulag that they have down there, for no reason. Not that it matters, people who- People got out of the gulag. Right. Nazis got out of the gulag. They sent, like, Váfanas S. guys back from the gulag, whereas the point of this is that

they will not send back a completely innocent man. Right, he's disappeared. Yeah, so- Uh, Kilmar Abrego Garcia. Right, and then there was a senator who went down there today. Yeah, Van Hollen from, uh, Van Hollen? From Maryland? Yeah.

And only Democratic elected officials doing that got it. Millhouse Van Houten. Yeah, just, just, I got, like, this is the best we can fucking do. Like, again, from lamp posts. Every single last goddamn one of these ghouls from a fucking lamp post. I am gonna make it look like Miracle on 34th Street in this bitch. I am- I believe they're sending down a delegation-

Just giant male sacks full of bulls. They're sending down a delegation from the House of Representatives sometime in the near future to go, I don't know, argue with the prison guards. Cool, AOC can get another barbed wire photo of her crying. JUSTIN Yeah, I think the... some court today is trying to hold the administration in contempt, like criminal contempt. ALICE Yeah, that's a post book. Yeah. SEAN It's gonna be the same thing as the Indian Removal Act, the judge has made it, they've

made it really not let them enforce it. JUSTIN Yeah. JUSTIN Well, they might be a little bit better at enforcing it this time, because there's, y'know, we might see an armed standoff between US Marshals and, um- JD Vance with the heart attack gun! Dian will pay you extra for this episode. And that's all, Cuba. Must use the Havana Syndrome Ray for one last job.

And to be clear, this deportation unilaterally to the El Salvador, like, forever prison, is something that is wrong to do to people who are guilty. We have absolutely no agree that any of them are, we know that at least a bunch of them aren't. And there's no due process whatsoever, there's no sort of like, constitutional settlement left unless there are like, some kind of consequences for this that make sure that it can't happen again, and I don't see that coming out of like, anything other than, uh, Liam, your thing.

Oh, oh, from Lampostia! Yeah. Also, if there's another democratic president, um, Now, as a socialist, I am against imperialist interventions in Latin America. However, an anti-imperialist intervention in Latin America that ends with Naib Bukele's ****. Like a big festive kazoo! Yeah, or like, y'know, they just, using his... Decorate a Christmas tree, things of that nature. Oh, we're gonna get...

This episode is gonna be... I'd say it's a shameless plug, but it is a shameful plug, but if you wanna understand a bit about Naib Bokele and how he got that way, there's a bunch of stuff you can read, but we just did an episode of No Gods No Mares about him. And I don't know if you guys- Oh, I just listened to that, it was really good. Thank you.

Yeah, you can check out the podcast, Well Mayor's Your Problem for that. Thank you. I didn't use that on the episode I was on, and it's been festering in my mind until I got it out. One of the things that I thought was particularly bizarre about this situation is that the way the deportation flights are set up, it's like, okay, they shackle you to your seat, so if there's an emergency on the plane that requires an evacuation, you just die. That's a feature, not a bug.

They have flight attendants on those flights, for what? Like, what the fuck? Well a lot of them have been refusing to fly on them, that was in a ProPublica article I want to see. Just completely shackled about to be taken to the like, torture disappearance prison, and they hand me the little like, block cookie and I'm like, cheers. Thanks. This is really like, this has helped a little bit.

Trying to get like, one of the mini bottles of wine. What's the delicious ginger cookie they sell on American flights that I like? What, the biscoff? There we go. Yeah. Yeah, all human beings are entitled to due process and a biscoff. I believe that, I think they should amend the constitution. Yeah.

Schools from lamp posts. Every single last goddamn one of them. These people are not your friends. You don't owe these people a scrap of dignity. You owe each other a scrap of dignity. And like, if you do get a Democratic president, right, if you're ever allowed to vote again, and if you're ever allowed to have a free election, and a Democrat wins that election, then that Democrat almost certainly keeps the El Salvador program going but puts a human face on it.

You know what I mean? It's just like- Oh, we're gonna dress them all in skims! Yeah, yeah, it'll be minimalist brown prison uniforms in the disappearing prison, yeah. Or it'll be Obama and Guantanamo Bay again, where it's like, well obviously this is horrible, we're gonna look into closing it for like eight years and then, y'know. I mean, not to be an optimist. He's standing on the right side of history with Harvard.

Not to be an optimist, but unfortunately the only thing that's getting me through this is the unshakable knowledge that, of course, the eternal victory of Marxism-Leninism is at hand. But I also think that like I do think that average people are so fucking mad about this. Like generally, I was like that. Those senior citizens yelling at Chuck Grassley. That was great. So I can just stop paying my $1200 fine. OK, asshole.

Yeah, no, I mean, like people are so mad about all this shit. I don't think you can really... I do think while a lot of the shitty stuff will kind of pass into a democratic administration, I think this stuff, you can't really continue. I mean, the amount of people who are at their fucking limit in terms of what they were tolerating is very high. I mean, I will believe when I see, and by see I mean somebody starts shitting ice agents.

I don't, like, absent that, it feels like this is just gonna be baked in now, whatever happens. So, y'know. LIAM So how about the Mets, huh? I thought you were like the Dodgers! I'm sure your dad is a lovely man, I have nothing but respect for him, I'm sure your dad is a lovely man. Mets. How about the Mets? I thought you liked the Dodgers. My dad trained me. Try to find deferred money. Okay, well, I'm sure your dad is a lovely man. I have nothing but respect for him.

He raised a great son. It's not the fucking point. Go Phillies. Okay, well, my dad said, anytime there's a lull in a conversation, you can just say, how about the Mets? And somebody's gonna have an opinion that that is you. Fuck the Mets and fuck one's gonna move things on the bit.

Well we're hanging ghouls from lamp posts, one soda! I can't believe you're making, you know, named, uh, violent threats against Mr. Met. Mr. Met is spiritually an ice agent, even if he's not really one. Alright, Steve Cohen, I take pride. And he might be! We don't know who's under there! We don't know what he does the other six days of the week! We don't know! We don't know Mr. Met! Okay, we don't know who he is, we don't know what he's doing! While we're doing shameless plugs, on Ten Thousand Losses, my Philly sports podcast, we did rank mus- muskots.- mascots by fuckability, and Mrs. Met could get it.

ALICE Oh, Mrs. Met is, yeah, supremely fucked. LIAM Obviously. JUSTIN And he has a beautiful wife, Mrs. Met, do we like Mrs. Met? We do, and she's been very strong. Sorry, I just- ALICE Least fuckable, I know you've been over this, but least fuckable mascot, obviously still, Padoopete. Yeah. He fucks my drinks.

The name of that man. The problem is, Friar is pretty far up there. What about the Rizdy mascot for the Nads? Are you familiar with the Nads? The Rizdy mascot? No, but I would like you to Google- Are we talking about Scrody? God damn. Yeah, we're talking about Scrody. What the fuck is this? So, uh, the Rhode Island schools.

I mean, definitionally fuckable, right? I feel like we're getting a little bit off topic here, of the horrors, right? Yeah, back to the horrors. I am supporting a Zhongshu Huge Horse Baseball Club this year. Yeah, of course. Like, monetarily? I am supporting the People's Liberation Army this year if they attempt an amphibious landing in El Salvador to liberate the people. I am supporting Asian paint.

Come on, over there, we'll direct you. Yeah, I mean, hang these goals from lamp posts. But before we get to- is that it for news? Do we want to talk about it? I mean, yeah, if we're doing shameless plugs, if we're doing shameless plugs, get organized, you know, have a plan, meet, talk to your friends about organizing, scream at your elected representatives as much as possible. Talk to your friends on Signal, uh, join an organization. It doesn't have to be DSA, but I mean, that's the one I'm in.

IWW baby. You know you want to. Just get some letters, you know? Get some letters. You do get cool jackets and shirts out of that, but then also, you know, get a lawyer, buy a generator. If you feel comfortable doing so, learn how to shoot a gun. Mmhm, absolutely.

It's fine. By the way, I will say, one of the kind of, not for the last time, shameless indictments of, like, the American Labour Union movement, is Kilmar Abrogo Garcia, union man. He is a union member. And his union is standing by him, but that's about it. None of the others seem to really give that much of a fuck. I think like a roofers union, or like a steel... I don't know, I've seen a couple unions threaten something. Fiddler's Union I think said something, yeah.

Yeah, threaten some sort of labour actions, but yeah, I mean, it's not great. Not good enough. Um, the other thing is, uh, oh, I had something for the- oh, the helicopter crashed into the Hudson, we know. ALICE We'll get to- SEAN We'll- yeah, we're sorry. ALICE Never get in a helicopter, never ever get in a helicopter. SEAN No! No!

50,000 movie parts are a good place to crash. ALICE I do appreciate that helicopters as communists have seen the direction that the fascists want to go and have decided to start killing rich people first. So, you know, appreciate that. Yeah. You know, why not. It's very sad. Or whatever.

I have to remain, unfortunately, optimistic about the American people. If I don't, I'll kill myself, exactly. Yeah, so, you know, we continue to fight. I mean, it's like, you know, the old leftist line, right, like, my enemy is not the American people. My enemy is the American government, and about 20% of the American people. Which I think I could probably take them. Yeah, oh yeah, you stand on my shoulders, we'll fuck some people up, Trevor.

I have a shameless plug. So I have a coworker who shall remain. She shall not remain nameless, but her grandson will because he is the minor. He is looking. We are looking to raise money for him to have this is a quick shift that we do the next slide. So I don't have to look at this while I try to be good. Yeah, sure. I was saying that not to not to ignore the issue of the day, but because I got you, I got you. I apologize. We are raising money so we can get him a handicapped physical van. He has a rare genetic disorder.

He needs transportation. Handicapped vans are stupid expensive because you have to basically reverse engineer them. That link will be in the show description. Any amount helps. We are very grateful for it, thank you very much. The other thing is, by the time this goes out, I should have gotten a promotion. Yay! Yay!

Yay, Liam! Congratulations. Yeah, thank you. You finally made the co-host. After years of apprentice host. You're not an independent contractor anymore.