Well There‘s Your Problem - Episode 120: Question Time 2: Electric Boogaloo

Episode Date: December 25, 2022

we answer your questions Our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/wtyppod/ Our Merch: https://www.solidaritysuperstore.com/wtypp Send us stuff! our address: Well There's Your Podcasting Company PO Box 40178 Philadelphia, PA 19106 DO NOT SEND US LETTER BOMBS thanks in advance in the commercial: Local Forecast - Elevator Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Hello, hello listeners, it's uh, it is um, let's just fucking do it man. It's well there's your problem podcast a podcast Which has slides? Except this one because this is not a slides episode. I'm gonna fucking die dude. Oh my god Justin Rosniak Oh Yeah, go ahead. I'm Justin Rosniak. I'm the person who's talking right now. My pronouns are he and him. Okay, go Hi, I'm Alice Caldwell Kelly. I'm the person who's talking now. My pronouns are she and her it is zero 130 local time

I I caught myself in the mirror earlier and the whites Of my eyes are entirely red Justin is being tormented by a cat He was trying to touch the power supply. Do not touch that. It's very delicate in there Okay, Liam. Yeah, we had we had some significance inside baseball here folks I have been awake for a very long time. I've been working basically non-stop and since I got up Uh, I've put in a 15 15 hour day

Uh, I feel horrible. Um, I haven't eaten dinner I spent the last hour and a half Resuscitating rosa's computer by stuffing an xfx power supply into an atx case. It looks ridiculous Uh, I am uh, I can't I can't put the 10 000 losses No, you can't put the side panel on I recorded an episode of 10 000 losses earlier which crashed and deleted itself Uh, I am I am frothing at the mouth with a rage Uh, yeah, happy to be here. Uh, yay, Liam. My pronouns are fucking you Yeah, pizza boy was just uh, investigating about 600 watts

That is 600 watts put him out of the room if you have to just deal with the meow It's a holiday episode. It's a special holiday episode. I don't know when this is coming out Probably at some point during the holidays. I have a Santa hijab on Muhammad hat on I guess. Yeah, my Muhammad hat that I wear Just a festive skull cap Yeah, I had many many problems with cats today including milkshake getting out And then I had I had when it went into my neighbor's yard and then my neighbor and I had to try and Suss him out from that yard and then and then uh, no, he uh

He managed to get out the front of the house and I had I didn't know that I needed you for like a half hour There so at least a solid half hour. Yeah, right now. He's sitting on the keyboard in front of me I Cat is amazing. I love him very dearly, but Jesus fucking Christ milkshake Together I got it. Fuck get fucked dude. Get it together I was warned by june when I brought in these two cats that they were very powerful cats And they are Yeah, but you were able to like, you know, catch recapture

Occasionally, I I I did successfully Um, bring milk put milkshake under arrest and bring him to jail He was not happy It's also very cold outside and now he's sitting he's now he's sitting on my lap and he's very warm So, you know, worth it. He's very handsome. I very good kitty Oh boy, uh Yeah, this is gonna be a lower episode. Yeah. Yeah, we're not like as far as I can tell drunk on alcohol at least Yeah, no, I am a little I'm definitely at least a little bit

alcohol too sleep deprivation Yeah, yeah, I'm just worn out. Uh Um, do we have the questions? Did you yeah, this is this is the yeah, we got the questions There's no saying anything. There's no news. Shut the fuck up. There's no there's not even any slides man, this is bare bones podcasting Well, there's your problem super legario Devin can just put up whatever images they want. Um, yes

For the fun cut. Devin was supposed to be on this but wisely went to bed instead Absolutely smartest decision. I should have done that too, but I'm loyal. You know what? I earn my own money I love you. You're our best earner, uh, alice Yeah, you're the you're the you're the looks of the operation Also, the brains also the heart of ross and I are basically just taking money from you shut up I'm flattering you so you stay awake longer. Mm-hmm. That that will work. All right. We start on an aim Yeah, aim me some cues

You uh, do you um, do you want to start on an interesting question or a stupid one? Stupid? Stupid stupid question. All right. Here we go Fuck mary kill robert moses isn't barred kingdom brunel and william mulholland Uh, all right, so kill moses. Uh, fuck Mulholland and mary, uh, brunel Actually, that's also my answer I would do the same except I would switch it so I'd fuck brunel because the picture came with the like big chains behind him You figure he's got to be like into some like kink shit. So

slightly more acceptable to me We we had we had two fuck mary kill questions. Actually you guys Yeah, the other one was robert moses The other one also had robert moses, but then thomas middly midgley jr. And e hunter harrison When are you killing these people because if you're killing like thomas middly jr. Like, um, I'm slurring though It's embarrassing if you kill thomas middly jr. It's like it's already too late He's already done most of his work unless you're going back and killing like Like child thomas middly jr. And I'm uncomfortable with anyone androids being included in a fuck mary kill

Uh, yeah, yeah That's the other problem. Is that like you you you know, I I think I think in terms of this particular situation I mean you kill all of them, but it's also funnier to watch uh midgley kill himself That's true. I don't know funnier is the right word. Yeah. No, he was one of the and he was an inventor killed by his own invention I mean, okay, that's actually pretty funny. Yeah, you can't take that away from him um And like the perfect capstone because you got like a hat trick of deadly inventions um

I think the main thing that you can get from this is that the last thing any of us want to do is fuck robert moses Because like imagine that that's 87 tez amalis. Yes. Is it is it really? Yeah, I'm probably not uh Yeah, cue me another day That guy strikes me as a guy who did not fuck robert moses You know, nickle and tesla died a virgin robert moses height It's what it's apt to name tesla robert moses wiki feet. Yes No, no, I said yes. No

next question What are each of your favorite sports if any? None that's why I don't have a sports podcast uh favorite sport is uh American football followed by hockey I like I I have to go. I think football has become my favorite sport. I also quite enjoy baseball um

I like baseball with you Base baseball. Yeah baseball is fun to watch With with liam. I mean, this is the thing about I guess watching sports in general I enjoy it a lot more if i'm watching with liam than if i'm watching it by myself Although at this point I can just watch football by myself and just scream at people Um, that's my boy. That's my boy. Yeah, uh going to things with raz. We went to a xfl game once Which is probably one of the most fun times I've ever had with you simply because I also didn't understand the rules of the xfl So I was like, I know how this should work, but it sure isn't

So it was uh the defenders game. It was the first dc defenders game. Yeah um in in like january 2020 xfl was the one where I like Do sort of like weird shit like introduce a third team playing sideways, right? Or like allow one guy to have an axe Or like actually they put a gun at midfield, but it's surrounded by an impenetrable wall It's just I I was going to say that my favorite sport was like biathlon because it's only on tv Like every four years and you get to see a bunch of like statuettes swedish women like very wiry So like ski for like 200 miles and then you know shoot perfectly

But i'm changing my answer. I think it's the xfl now that I know as a guy with an axe Yeah, I I will say uh one of the the fun bits of the olympics Uh last time I watched it was the decathlon Uh at the finish where the women were all hugging and congratulating each other and laughing and the men reached the finish line and promptly collapsed and died Like yeah, they just laid down It was amazing to watch them be like no i'm not fucking like i'm not fucking getting up like you drag me out of here One thing about being a woman and this is like true

versus and trans women is that um The desire to like give your bestie a hug you could be missing both arms and one leg And you would still crawl or hop over like a mile of broken glass to do that I don't know why That's how I feel about giving ross hugs. I love giving ross hugs. He's a good hugger I guess for like path of least resistance. I like uh, I like football my football soccer too because it's on tv all the time It's very low stakes because like you can you can yell at it. It's like I understand it intuitively enough to yell at um

Yeah, still xfl. I mean, maybe if there was like an x f a like a an x soccer Well, I gave one guy an axe that would be cool. Um, like to see like the xfl the xfl. Yes Trademark it trademark it now pat and pat and pat and pending like all it took Do not feel deranged off of no sleep and we invented a new sport that's going to take the world by storm I mean, it took us 10 minutes All right, I have another one. Yeah, would you prefer to be on a sinking ship or a sinking plane? Oh Ship although

Like there's there's some considerations here because if it's a ship you might be like below decks You might be below the waterline and then you have to sort of like nightmare You know flooding corridor weird not sure which way is up situation Whereas on a plane you can still get that but at least you're on like there's one z level, right? There's you know, there's one floor um And there's like emergency lighting at least inshallah. So yeah, I don't know It's it's difficult. Uh, I I would say

small ship Although because then we're we're introducing the sort of calculation of how quickly it fucking sinks as well It's a large ship. You might just like Yeah, a cruise line and one of the ones with like 15 pools and like a bartending robot on it if that's sinking You might take I don't know two weeks or however long it's been engineered into it to sink. Yes Yeah, it could be like the titanic where it takes five hours and the only reason The episode was longer than the sinking itself. Yes I truthfully I don't know

I'll say ships as long as I'm not like so long as I don't have to do the corridor thing because I really don't like the sound of that See, I feel like um, it depends on your definition of sinking because I'm thinking on a plane, you know sink rate sink rate That's true. That's true 20 terrain terrain, you know, this is full up You know, but this is this is a solvable problem at that point. You know, you can avoid that problem at this point So I'm going with plane think of it this way though if it's if it's in Sinking in a watery sense, right? If you're in a plane

Unless it's a sea plane you've already survived a plane crash. You've got to be feeling pretty good about your odd Yeah, you got to feel you got to be you you have a lot of confidence at that point you you can go out You go you you you get off that plane? You know, you get on the life raft you get home. You're a hero you fight mike tyson after that, you know You have a lot of confidence You ever think about the uh, the the the crash the sully crash in like the Hudson where you could like literally have gotten on the plane Taken off from the airport

Frashed in the river next to the airport been rescued be on like dry land within 10 minutes And you're like a half hour's drive away from where you left Having and then you're like they're in like the most interesting way possible And then you're like thank god. I didn't have to take a flight today All right next next are are there any old inside jokes from early episodes? That some of you no longer appreciate or don't remember fondly um Did I don't know did we ever do any like early episode jokes that got us cancelled or would get us cancelled?

I don't think you got cancelled pretty early on for something about a landlord. I don't really remember Oh, yeah, that was that was that wasn't related to like a bit. I was doing though. That was true. Yes It was just a separate beef Yeah I don't pretty consistent I've been asked in the past Just randomly to do the Andrew Cuomo impression And I'm kind of like no, I'm not going to do that for you because I

I'm not a monkey. Uh, I'm not going to just perform for you instantly Also, I kind of don't like doing it. I need to be in a specific level of intoxication to do it properly or Maybe you could pass me some ziti and then maybe I'd do it. I don't know But but yeah, I Biggest issue is that's that that whole thing is not based on Andrew Cuomo's uh Andrew Cuomo directly that is based on Nick Mullin's impression of Andrew Cuomo and Andrew Cuomo is sort of like a He's not relevant politically anymore either which sort of limits the scope He took a shit. Yeah, I take a shit. I don't know. Uh, is there any

shit we uh Oh, there's one there's I will say I drink way less when we record these now Yeah, that's true. I know your mic policy is somewhat better also Thank you The the the moral arc of the universe is long, but it bends towards having and sort of an audible Liam Yeah, I uh as I I do miss the bit Uh where I could uh walk into raz's room too harass him as we were recording

Oh, yeah, you two was still roommates when you like we started this. Yeah I forgot that genuinely. It's been I I missed that at simply being able to like come back from the bathroom and just scream at him And it's sounding better than my actual mic Oh, if you get a fat in a few minutes, I genuinely can't can't think of an answer Speaking of poop As you mentioned earlier Liam, you promised to tell us about the worst poop you ever took in the first q&a and never delivered I was in florida for spring break I was in florida for spring break

And what happened I could hear the like vietnam music What what happened was that I had been drinking and eating garbage like a raccoon For five days straight I was sitting We had driven there from philadelphia and I was sitting in the back seat my buddy's car No, and what happened was I trusted a fart No

And I didn't shit a little I I shit a lot. This is a q&a story I come in the house too. I trusted a fart I listen I had to take a shit. I didn't know I had to take a shit at the time So I took a shit And it was like In the car in his nice recently cleaned About to be more brown leather interior and and the thing is right

There's no detailing that like you can clean that car however you want It's still going to be the car that you took a shit in right So I take a very stark divide in cars between cars that have had shit in them and cars that have it Right, you could forever. This was the last day. So we had to drive back to pennsylvania No, so take a shit And it just fills the back seat Yeah, uh, and there is nowhere

For me to really go So I had to Stop by a dumpster Run like try to reach my dirty clothes from the back seat, which I couldn't quite do Run around through a dumpster Throw out my shit covered boxers and shorts Uh, get my butt like throw like a piece of cloth over my dick Uh, send my buddies to go to like a walmart and get me a pair of shorts and underwear

I didn't have so I didn't shower like there wasn't an opportunity to shower um I could not go in the walmart because again, uh, so I had to sit in Like a puddle of my own creation in the back seat of this car for like the 16 hours back to pennsylvania And that's harrowing Yeah, and like The worst the worst is just i have pizza now

The worst shits i've ever taken i'm just like gonna sort of like segue into that while you're eating. Um Like not not that bad because I wasn't beholden to anybody like i've never shit in anyone else's car Or like on anyone else's stuff or anything like that The worst shits that i've ever taken have been like primarily ibs based where it's like it's not embarrassing Exactly, it's just a really unpleasant experience physically, but you're just like okay. You're in your own bathroom, right? That's cool, but you're like i'm gonna be in here for a while. It's gonna be like there's gonna be peaks and troughs I'm gonna have to take moments to like lie on my side on my bathroom floor sort of like Thinking i'm gonna die for a little bit rub rub aquifer on your own butthole. Yes

Yeah, like both your legs going to sleep uh Yeah, and and I mean I think the worst the worst thing I don't know why this is a shared experience, but i've seen posts about it So it must be but the worst is when you are on some shit and it's like You you need to take off all of your clothes irrespective of whatever else is happening It's like that. Yeah Sometimes you gotta and it's like great. It's cool that we're you know, we have this function in our bodies that's just like

I feel terrible. It's especially bad if your bathroom is cold like mine is. Oh god Um, here's an interesting one. Hmm. How did you all meet? um, but I mean I was like this podcast is my fault, right? Yes, because I got it into my head that I wanted to do another podcast like something that I was Because I was like fifth my contrast future

um, and it's changed a bit since then but at the time Being like the newest one on I felt like okay. Well, I'm along for the ride. I'm having fun But I'll I'll see how it goes but I'd like to I'm enjoying podcasting enough that I'd like to do something that I feel I have a bit more sort of like Direct control over and more influence over so I just I just posted I'm just on twitter And I'm just like yes And I want to start a podcast about engineering disasters because that's what I read about Well, you tagged me specifically. Yeah, I did because I was like, yeah

Sounds like a good idea. Yeah, and I was like, all right. Yeah, that's sure. Let's try it The idea came to me fully formed, you know, it's terrible because it doesn't work with two people It needs three people. It needs Liam. The other irritating thing is the first episode was on my favorite disaster The silver bridge. We got we got to go back. We got to go back and record episode one again We record it. We can rerecord it. This is true. This is true It's like we hadn't really figured out the dynamic We didn't know each other nearly as well. And so it was just like you know stuff And and you you explain it and I just kind of like throw in jokes occasionally

and it didn't really work with just the two of us and like Also, all of your fans were primed for More do not eat content, which you know, this is true They are right to demand But the content that they expect from you is You explain a thing in a way that is like smart and so the like every reply Every reply was like, who's this bitch, right? Who keeps interrupting you

To make kind of forced jokes and they were right to say it. Um, but so I think we did like Did we just do the one episode without Liam? We just did the one episode and then Liam got offended because Liam and I also tried to record a podcast But that also kind of sucked And that one didn't even wind up going online because I was like, no, this is garbage I'll never have it. You'll never have it. Yeah, you're yeah, I got rid of those recordings. They're gone It was supposed to be just like a general interest podcast, which clearly did not work It was it was not a good it was not good

It was not very structured and I wasn't as into sports back then But it was kind of there was a lot of sports in there and I didn't know what to say about it Um, and then the other the other thing is how did we all meet? Um Liam and I we had this discussion like a couple weeks ago. Actually, we have no idea why we're friends We know how we met and I can think of a lot of reasons why we wouldn't be friends. Um, but we are I don't know I I got really drunk at your birthday party and broke a glass and then I had to come back and apologize the next day

Um, we met you. We met incidentally We met incidentally through a mutual friend, uh, mr. Richard first team Um, and we uh, that is going away party. What do you want to say? And Yes, I You know, I the burgers weren't not bad, but no, I don't mind the burgers. Um, I will say I What what happened as as as a sort of? as I remember we got close because uh

Oh, this is gonna be fun I so We got close because my ex moved out Uh, and if you're listening congratulations on your marriage to I wish you the best. I mean that oh god I mean that completely. Sincerely. I've grown as a person You might have that out Look at looking from side to side to see all the previous avatars all the other liams who are just like very much not meaning that Sincerely

Yeah, well, we cut that one, but uh, you know, you can leave it He's like what's he gonna do message me on twitter, uh He uh, so doesn't he listen to the podcast? Yeah, that's why I said it I'm taking the high road So, uh, so Had moved out and as you recall, uh, my life was imploding. This was the spring of 2016 And I was like, hey, so I can't live here by myself without like constantly trying to put a gun to my head Can I live on your floor and you're like, yeah, I don't see why not

uh, and then we moved into 42 35 and uh I supported you through some pretty dark days. You supported me through some pretty dark days and uh Now we have a podcast You're like grunt and sherman, which I guess makes me mclellan. You know, I I have referred to our friendship and more Ellen uh, you're you do not you you are not a confederate trader. Yeah I have thought about my friendship with ross as sherman and grant more than once If if you're unfamiliar with the american civil war the bit that i'm referencing is I think possibly one of the greatest declarations of friendship in american history, which is um, uh, he stood by me when I was crazy

And I stood by him when I was drunk He stood when he was drunk bud. Yeah, I fucked up the pronouns there Yeah, and now sir was standing who stand by each other always. Yeah. Yes, uh, there was also Wait, no, I am sure which of you is which because uh, I mean liam, you're 100 percent german and just yeah, grant But like I I I don't know that makes me decide a blood Retired my extremely like your nose Retired my What was that when we were walking home from the from the open the young friends the the young friends, uh thing at the

at the Uh, divine Lorraine remember you fell and fucked up your nose. Did you not break it? No, I did not break it I did fuck it up though. I thought you broke it. It was bleeding quite heavily. Yes. Yeah Shout out to young friends at the preservation alliance Um home of some of the most dangerous open bars. I have seen in my life List of union generals i'm gonna find my general sona in here Uh, oh man, this is a long ass list though. I got too many generals. You could be someone weird like william mohone Yeah, I don't know. He was a confederate

Write in in the comments. Just be me. You're me now. Congratulations. Yeah, sure Yeah, write in in the comments, uh, but yeah, so that's that's that's how youtube met that's how the podcast started and Yeah, uh, just a series of happy little accidents. Yeah, uh, ross the product supported me in friend court in the spring of 2016 Uh, and then yeah Yeah, I if each of you could invite anyone to guest on the pod. That's the pot. Would it be I was also gonna say the It's the pope Yeah, like current pope seems cool. Be interested to how he seems pretty good I want to talk to him about uh, being a bouncer in Buenos Aires or wherever the hell it was

Was it Buenos Aires? I believe so. Yeah. Yeah Call that the hand of god. All right. Oh my god I don't know if it'd be interesting to do like a a the catholic church episode with the pope on just like, you know, we went to this sort of like the top guy we called the manager um I uh, uh Your holiness is catholicism real Is it strong is it my friend?

Why haven't you guys taken me personally off the membership roles yet? Uh, I I've I've been doing everything that I can and yet I don't know. Yeah cosine pope. I think we're unanimous on that one. We want the pope on a podcast If you uh, for some reason work at the Vatican Yeah, if you have an end we have people everywhere right so we've definitely We have an end with the papal household. We're gonna do like uh papal visit. Yeah I mean technically it is interfaith dialogue, right? Like, uh, we got we got all three abrahamic religions just, you know

That's rose dies. Yes. Mm-hmm. Well marks aside What historical figures do you think would be podcasters if they were around today? Oh, I mean Marks who 100% have been a podcast. So that's one of the first Um, do you think you're gonna be a podcaster or like a podcast manager commission? No, he'd be a substack guy Oh, he'd be a substack guy. That's true A podcaster, uh, I feel like someone like a Horace Greeley Uh, another newspaper man who really wanted to just see his name in the paper

I feel like uh Leland stanford would have a podcast. It'd be a sort of a Elon musk type thing I I think you could have like quite a successful ambrose beers podcast Oh, I would love to listen to that. Oh my god. That would be great And he like yeah, I mean he he's Very sarcastic very sad on it had the soul of a podcaster and then Like Virgil texas disappeared forever No, you get out you get you you get you get beers and twain

Together like once a week for an hour. Oh my god. That'd be really good. I'd listen to that Yeah, me too. Yeah I don't think I don't think of a few more like um item a wells 100 podcast um, but like Not not funny more like fucking like the rare subset of like journalism podcast. That's good um, yes like expos a's and stuff um

All of the all of the like Taploid Rises who read about like jack the rep or whatever they would all be true crime podcasters now All right, here's a fun one Given the opportunity to pedestrianize one city by force, which would you choose? By by force is the part that makes this I I really like this is a punitive expedition Which is why I'm picking phoenix, arizona. Oh, that's funny. See I was gonna pick I was honestly gonna pick LA So have to be I I think I'm gonna be an effective altruist about this

I'm gonna be a utilitarian about this and like all effective altruists This is gonna lead me back to neocolonialism But I think the best sort of like return on your investment you could get by doing like any urban city by force It's gotta be mexico city, right? Like it's one of the most congested and yet largest cities in the planet Um, oh, yeah, it's gonna be like Shanghai Yeah, I mean you could probably you probably get pretty far by pedestrianizing good chunks of mexico city I haven't been there. So I I you know, I can't speak for that, but it is um, it is definitely a city that Just based on the amount of congestion

you know, you could pretty rapidly move to A car for your car lights system. See we've we've also now solved which civil war general I am because we're getting me to invade mexico. So I'm winfield scott. Um, there you go I mean the downside is aside from the you know having to invade mexico thing Is that we would lose out on the cool? VW beetle taxi cabs that like white and green ones which they may not still have Also a bunch of pujos and breados you can't get in the united states for some fucking reason

Yeah, yeah The whole latin american car market is always fascinating to me. Uh, because it's just like um, it's like Oftentimes it's like two-thirds american, but then with like some weird modifiers And it's like, oh, you know, this is the thing that vw only sold here because for some reason a bunch of west germans made very good business Contacts in like south america in the 60s or whatever Nazi joke So I have nazis on the brink because i'm writing the next um, i'm not sure if it's gonna be a bonus or a mainline episode

I got nazis on the brains. Yeah I got nazis I wish you wouldn't I got nazis I don't know. It feels like an mgm musical song something. Oh, wow. Yeah Yeah, it's like something you'd work into like hail scissor or something like that. This is true. Yes Well, that's just that's just the the producers. I guess, you know, I guess uh, who's in the back

near switzerland Well, I heard was yodeling I've never seen that movie the whole way through because I you know, the the introduction is very boring I never quite gotten through it, but now I realized probably just skip that, you know, the um, the the the remake with nathan lane and Matthew Broderick or the original was zero musto I I haven't seen either of them Um, I've seen no, I've seen the original one but not the whole way through because again the Takes a long time

Yeah, yeah the remake cuts all that but on the other hand you're kind of missing out some other stuff too But nathan lanes really good The tgv and the shinkansen turn into mecha robots and fight one another who wins uh, the fucking Intercity 125 that's still left standing because no one respects it and it's like The tgv and the shinkansen destroy each other And and and the inner city 125 is just standing there watching gag. I can see that Yeah

British engineering wins again Default the two sweetest words in the english language British engineering is just a byword for at some point the doors are gonna fall off Oh, yeah, there's someone someone has like sealed their sandwich inside the door panel and it's like slowly rotting in there It's a recurring story about british leland that that happened Right, that's that's terrific I don't know. I feel like a tgv does not win this this contest

No, I think I think the shinkansen wins based on uh, you know being uh, Japanese they're also the specialists in mechs and gundams and that's true evangelicals The else what is it the l0 uh is is my favorite uh Favorite just because like it looks so goddamn dumb Hmm what the the zero series shinkansen with that with the Dude, this is so good to see you face. Yeah Oh, wait, you mean like are you talking about the maglev one or you're talking about the original one?

Yeah, because I like the original one. Oh the new one. Yeah, the new ones will look like shoes because it turns out that's the most aerodynamic thing Whereas the the old ones actually look like bullets, which I like The old ones or the new ones have to have those the all these weird shapes Because one of the things they did when they were designing the line is they kept all the tunnels relatively small So you have to have these extremely excessively aerodynamic shapes because otherwise it would blow the windows out Oh, jeez. Um, that's also why they have relatively small windows on those trains Um, as opposed to in europe where they just made the tunnels bigger and you save out on vehicle engineering Which I I'm gonna be honest. I think that's the correct way to do it

um Yeah, as opposed to the like screen line of thing where you just sort of like do neither and blow the windows out on the other hand the uh the shinkansen is uh superior high speed rail system of the world just because it's like Yeah, we run these trains, you know At 180 miles an hour and we run them every five minutes Oh, you will get there. You will get there. You will get you missed your train. That's a damn shame There's another one in five minutes. Well, you can actually see it coming

Everyone pick a specific vehicle Just a kind not just trains or cars a specific vehicle What? You gotta pick one before I get to the second part. Okay. Okay, fine. Do we is do we tell you? God dammit fine. Is heavy artillery a vehicle? I'm gonna go with like forward control vans like, uh, you know cab over engine vans Yeah, no, I I'm going with heavy artillery. Okay. I'm gonna go with uh I'm gonna go with

A high hood standard cab dash eight which Norfolk Southern bought a few Now here's the question which one of your choices is leaving the ring alive Mine, it's heavy artillery Yeah, how big is the ring? How big is the ring? It's big enough that I can fit in my heavy artillery and shoot at you I'm getting wiped out unless I'm also following the British rail doctrine as we're developing here of Let the other two fight and just survive You know survive through obscurity turn the headlights off shot Alice and you become a crater

Yeah, yeah, but how big is the ring? You might take out yourself too. I won't know it's it's 10 miles wide. Okay Okay, what if it wasn't though Then I guess I'm switching to a high hood diesel motherfucker And also the problem with the high hood diesel is that the like you've got to have the the the tracks to support that Otherwise, you're just trying to do the thing that guy who drove the train at the hospital ship is doing where you're just kind of like grinding along along like a sort of an unrailed surface hoping for the best and you can't steer What if you're pointing like, you know tangentially to liam's

Liam's artillery piece You know, there's nothing you can do that's gonna be a gonna be a long gonna be a long fight Let me tell you about my artillery piece Oh my What is the continuity of posting plan that we should all have What? Oh, you mean if twister implodes. I mean, I went back to tumblr and that's been I'm writing it out. Uh, I guess eventually I'll have to go to mastodon, but

No, I I think we should expand the scope of this question. What if there was a A coronal mass ejection from the sun tomorrow Knocked out the entire internet. How do we keep posting? Well, I wouldn't like that at all. I wouldn't like that either If that happened, I would simply um, I own a typewriter the ribbon for it is still inked I would type out my posts and I would staple them to like things in my neighborhood And then IRL posting on posts in fact

So like get really into like wheat pasting Um, and just you know the kind of brainless shit that pops into my head where I'm like God the most recent one I had just off the dome on on tumblr was uh If if there's all these spaces that are non euclidean, how come euclid's still king shit? You would get that like typed up and like wheat pasted to your front door You would hate it people would kill me and they'd be right to do it This is this is something I think everyone needs to have in their back pocket. What are you gonna do if You know, there's a massive sunstorm tomorrow. You have a sort of a caring dinner event or whatever it was called

Like not massive enough to fry us just massive enough to stop us posting Um, well, yeah, I mean that's still it takes out all the electronics everywhere. Um, how do you keep posting? Um, and all I can say is You know get in it makes sure you know your your friends and neighbors well enough that you know, you can You you you you know how to get together and post Outside of the internet Oh Cracking all my bones and in the meantime in sort of the social network sense

I don't got a mastodon. It's twisted but with more mods and the one thing twister needs, you know as you know more mods, right? It's like what if I was what if my ability to post was like tied to like even more like weird over sensitive guys No, thanks You Anonymous asks hey you ever done DMT I I'm genuinely like too scared to do drugs is the thing Not really scared of like breaking the law, but like I want to let my subconscious like off the leash. I keep that that shit very tightly controlled. Um, I smart decision

I I would never do like a psychedelic by choice. Uh, I smoked weed one time I liked it too much and i'm like no, that's too much fun for me Back to the salt mines with you. Um, what is DMT? Uh, it's one of those things that they're like the CIA shot up like hippies with just psychedelic and it like kicks in real quick Uh The the effects only lasts like five to 20 minutes. I think Oh, I see It's on a on a on a quick time timeline. I always thought it was like something weird adjacent. Um, no

You're thinking of cvd. I think um, no cvd doesn't do anything No, and the problem with uh with like DMT having like a 20 minute like time when you're high or whatever is that If it's a psychedelic you could be experiencing that as fuck knows how long, you know um Yeah, I I've had a bad track record with drugs in that they haven't done anything to me No, you're everything for Everything yeah, everything except alcohol. I mean, you know a weed doesn't really do anything unless I have way too much of it

Um, kratom actually kratom's kind of nice Uh, and then but you know, it's nice for falling asleep. That's the main thing And what cocaine didn't do anything to me. You know, the worst one was I got prescription Percocets when I got my wisdom see that Well, this is the real question based on other evidence Were they fake percocets or am I just somehow immune to all forms of opiates? No, you got fake percocets. It's probably fake percocets. Yeah I've I've heard a lot of different complaints about opiates, but unless you've like been doing them a lot before

They just don't work. I think is a pretty uncommon one Whereas somebody sold me or somebody like prescribed me Uh dispensed me rather fake opiates And then someone got my real opiates. I think is much more common Someone someone got to investigate the back end of the burq burq virginia cvs Yes Yeah, that was years ago though. So maybe don't do that. Um, I said we will stop it nothing Uh

I gotta scroll through all the uh Where's franklin? I'm the right, you know, where where is it? It's up your butt Alice. Yeah Oh my What are your favorite concrete admixtures Uh, huge huge gravel fan number one gravel fan over there. That's not an admixture What the fuck is an admixture? I admixture is something extra you add to the concrete to give it certain properties

Uh, yeah, it's not an admixture What is an admixture give me some examples of admixtures so I can decide which one is my guy No, let's say you want like self leveling concrete or something like that Plurite or something to accelerate it you add super plasticizer also known as super p. That is an admixture Super p the mind is yes sugar. You can find out why Also the name uh makes me giggle. I'm not gonna say it on the podcast. You're just gonna have to go to the concrete admixture subsection Super p a storm super balls. I don't know super p is um, you'd think uh, you'd think it uh,

You know, it really fucks around with the slump um It's uh, it's for the concrete guys out there. Anyway, so um, oh This is an interesting one because it's not for all of us. It's apparently for Alice even though I think Liam and I would also have an answer The big spotlight has been turned on. What is your favorite mountain goat song Alice? Oh, fuck that's actually really difficult because I like several million of them in really different ways up the wolves, but like up the wolves on the um,

uh sunset tree All acoustic Rerecord album. That's a good choice That was called like come come to the sunset tree that one uh is yeah up the wolves Second place choked out third place guys on every corner Uh, I mean really just like uninterrupted career of bangers by the mountain goats, so Like genuinely the the the band that I listen to

By far the most everything else is a distant second. Um, that there's a there's a tumblr post that's like, um about a guy who um Like only plays Dwarf Fortress or whatever and like plays it Exclusively and when he just asked to like play something else. He's like no, thanks. I already play a video game That's how I feel about music and the mountain goats. It's like yeah Is there a podcast called I only listen to the mountain goats? Yes, there is but they do covers I have uh an album that they made of those and Yeah, no, it's really it's pretty good

It's the thing You guys have opinions about this Uh, obviously no children. Yeah, I was also going to say no children woke up new and probably the uh death metal band in denton Lord, that was a good one great cover of that on I only listened to the mountain goats Uh that you can go and listen to it was fucking astounding We are our dream podcast guest the mountain goats honestly

John if you're listening, um, you follow me on twitter and I'm not sure why but uh I bet I bet you regret that uh, please come on the show. I don't know what you we would get you to talk about but uh, I Yeah, I promise not to talk about mountain goat songs for an hour I promise to exclusively talk about mountain goat songs for an hour. Yes I forgot I forgot another runner up, which is uh the triumph of the pigs that ran straight away into the water Oh and dark in here. I'm just gonna keep interrupting every time I think of one for the rest of the episode You should never have asked me about the mountain goats Um, you just go through the entire discography and like, oh, yeah, basically that's how I feel

That is basically how I feel it's like Like the ones that I've listed are like, you know Sort of five stars. Everything else is 4.9 and I'm gonna be listing all the 4.9 ones and like alphabetic lorda from here on out soft targets All right, you know fight Gritty or the fanatic who wins gritty he's seven feet tall The fanatic is also seven feet tall. No gritty. Can I ask the fanatic has a technical We've seen

Yeah, the crew serves hot dog. So does uh gritty. He has a zamboni Fanatic is fanatic is six six and weighs 300 pounds Uh, we put him we put him in the same ring with the train my destroyed van and your artillery's this is the real question It's like, okay, so the gritty has got the zamboni the fanatic presumably also has a vehicle of some kind Yeah, he does. He has the hot dog cannon, dude. Yeah, so so the hot dog truck so Okay, I do think I do think the the zamboni doesn't go very fast though I I think uh gritty wins assuming they they they fight at the center

But if they're fighting at uh cbp, then uh The fanatic wins. I think it depends. It does depend on you have to put them on neutral ground of some kind. Yeah Um, you know, which is the parking lot If if gritty and the fanatic are fighting each other in the parking lot, he likes of the lake. Yeah, uh, I My money's still on gritty I think he wants them more. I think he has moha I feel like the fanatic he's gonna do something with that big gun barrel shape nose I don't know what he could do with that

Um, but I feel like he can do something with that that might go like 22 in there, you know Yeah, uh, no, I think it's a larger. It's definitely it's a larger bore than that You know, it was a whole nose ball or like because I'm thinking there's like a concealed pistol Within there and he's just gonna like do him like the irishman where he just like walks up to him It's just like bam, you know, but yeah clearly you you're envisioning it as Like a four inch cannonball. That's what I'm thinking comes out there Oh Yeah, but imagine the recoil though and that's a like face height to just snap his neck

And it'd be like mutually assured destruction. That's a good one. Yeah, that'd be really bad. Yeah, so I All right, so I I don't know we just have to figure out how to get on a fight each other and we'll find out What The u.s The uk and us have joined forces to banish. Well, there's your problem from their lands Where would the podcast be relocating to in this event? Canada. Yeah, I would say I Government for

For small business loans. Yeah, I mean like the the Canadian government Okay, immigration might be difficult because like it's difficult everywhere and especially like Canada's racist fine But like it's like the u.s. But with health care, you know, the Guns and stuff which is fun for me. I can shoot bottles and cans off a fence The only downside is that we would all have to fend off Just introduce roving goons of doctors trying to convince us to kill ourselves Oh my god, we're gonna go with roving gangs of blackface. But yes, also. Oh my god I I've wanted I've kind of wanted to do an episode on that how they think we're sure

It's really just like it comes to your house. It was like, hey if you ever considered killing yourself It's like frequently, but I tend not to do it I was you know, it's kind of like uh, there there's you know, I There are instances where maybe medically assisted suicide is you know Compassionate thing. Oh, sure. You know that the moral hazard has asserted itself very quickly in Canada. Yes Well, yeah, so You can change the the roving the roving gang of blackface and uh, that's who yeah workians Yeah, I mean genuinely like we're barely exaggerating if you're not familiar with this

there's recordings from like, you know Disability advocates in Canada who are just fully like in hospital and like multiple doctors just come up to you and say Hey, you ever considered killing yourself and it's like I came in here for like I have a broken arm or whatever and they're like, yeah, okay But you know an end to all your suffering, right? You ever considered that you just think about it. I'm gonna leave you this pamphlet reminds me uh My dad told me a story a while back. He broke his arm when he was in like in high school

And like the priest came in to give him last rights for some reason. He was very confused Do you know something I don't The reason the reason I I reached for broken arm there is because it's a running joke amongst trans people that if you go to like Hospital is like a broken arm and you're trans. They're like, okay first thing you got to do is stop taking the hormones. It's like I don't I don't know that is that relevant I Yeah, but Canada, I mean maybe New Zealand maybe yes, we would be colonizers. I mean we've been colonizers in Canada, too We're going to Monterey, Mexico

Winfield Scott rides again Yes, we're going to uh, we're gonna go to Buenos Aires We're gonna go to Um, I don't know. I just wanted to go to a Shriver. That sounds like fun You got to um What'd be uh, uh I would name a bunch of russian cities, but we can't go there now because of putin No, you gotta could go to Berlin if we could like, you know, navigate rental hell

Right, we go to Kiev Fuck it. We'll relocate to Kiev It's interesting in the international Ukrainian legion to avoid having to pay berlin rents. That's you know, the most european vibe We'll do we'll just we'll broadcast propaganda I mean what else is new right barely have to change anything What was the most influential or formative book you? I think there's an implied four there, but it was not written

Uh, I mean it's gonna count as chasing if I say the Quran because that's like obvious, right? So uh The man who was thursday gk chastison, um It's what what if the guy in the panopticon was also all the other guys were in the panopticon um Changed the way that I thought about like power and conspiracy in the state and uh, it's most it was just a good a good thriller and a kind of like Weird way and I I read it because it was a sort of theme in in deus axe of all things Mm-hmm Mine is probably crime and punishment based on

Uh, I guess like a lot of it like the the is crime ever justifiable is like what is justifiable uh themes around utilitarianism, you know rationalism the idea of suffering of man being good and necessary uh Was very important to me when I was a teenager and it's important to me now Because I don't know, you know what we do with uh Suffering and all that shit and I'm still sort of well, I mean I have this canadian doctor here who has some questions about that

Oh It's jordan jesusen price. What is it about canadians with the fucking advanced degrees? I'd have to say it's a book. I've never actually owned But I used to check out from the library a lot when I was a kid Libraries folks. They're very good David mccauley is the way things work Um the one with the mammoths Um and explaining how a whole lot of mechanical devices

you know work Through like these very nice illustrations and simple diagrams. It's sort of like it's it's very nice to See how you can break down complicated processes into ways that you can sort of uh Explain to someone like me a 11 year old child Um and also there's lots of tiny mammoths in there, which are really cool Um, I learned everything I needed to know about engineering from tiny mammoths

um So yeah, that that that's a very good one Again, it's weird because I I I don't have a copy of it. It was always something I checked out from the library It was never something that uh that like I actually owned um but That's a good book Give it if you have if you're listening to this and you have kids give them that book

Or make them check it out from the library so they learn your libraries are good If you had to choose one disaster you'd cover to die in which one and why Oh god, okay Christ, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a bad question. Yeah, I don't like that We don't really do things where people have died. Well, there's a couple. There's like a greek Airline crash or like one of the one of the Malaysian ones We're getting decapitated Uh by a flying magnesium shot. I there's there's a couple of plane crashes where people like uh die of hypoxia and like

You know the oxygen supply runs out and you're unconscious and the plane flies into a mountain I figure That way there's enough plausible deniability that like you're like, uh, maybe it's going to be fine And then you just go to sleep and don't wake up. That's probably the least worst I can think of or any of the ones where someone like You know is crushed or exploded or something and doesn't know the first thing about it that appeals to me as well Yeah, like piper alpha. You're dead instantly and you have no idea why Yeah, you're just like your soul is leaving your body and there's no body left very rapidly. We might add

Take you like nana 20 minutes. Yes. He takes you like 10 or 20 minutes to realize you're dead Yeah, you're like measured in acreage at that point and then you're just kind of like looking down as a as a ghost and you're just like, okay um Yeah, anything like that. I don't I don't like the sort of like lingering or like, um, you know, sort of like long scene approaching kind of deaths If you had a farm What would be your top three choices her animals to have? And what kind and brand of tractor would you drive? Okay, so well pigs are out obviously

Uh cows are quite bad for the environment. I like goats. I like sheep I would say sheep. I would say I would say sheep. There's a sheep. Yeah some really adorable, uh And also there's a shame that dev isn't here for this because uh, they are You know, yeah, it's a resident sheep expert and can back me up when I say that sheep are both adorable and morons Um, I I like the the sheep with the black faces. I like the little tiny lake district sheep the name of which I don't remember And uh in in terms of tractor my favorite and farming simulator has always been the uh

The time Mercedes made a tractor the like mb track. I think it was called And this really strange lurid green and yellow color. Um, I think it looks Weird as hell and really compelling. I don't know why I like it, but I do I will take new holland, uh as they are from pennsylvania. They are from in fact lancaster county new holland pennsylvania I don't have to go with uh, some kind of some kind of um Like a big steam tractor like a traction engine like a case or something. You know, I think that'd be really good Um, it's supposed the the animals um

You know, I maybe I'm hypocritical for saying this because I do enjoy eating delicious animals But I don't want to kill the animals. So I have to do sheep Maybe I could do dairy cows and then a third thing. I don't know Some horses or something bullshit Horses is a good idea. You could do like something weird like alpacas or something. Oh alpacas would be good. Yeah, I like alpacas Um, I have a great I have a great photo that I took a while back outside the strassberg railroad that had um One of their steam locomotives and an alpaca in it. Yeah, it's a really good one. Um, I'll send it to devon

Shoving the episode right now Yeah, I definitely do an alpaca farm that'd be fun. Um, they're so cute. Um, they're really nice Very very soft yarn as well Yes, I've uh, my grandparents gave me uh, uh, a nice, um Beanie made of alpaca fur. It's very very warm. Oh beautiful. Yes All right, um, this is the same fucking question again. Um Is it worse frankly? No, no, it's about which engineering disaster would you die in?

Okay, how about none, please? Yeah, none, please. No, I would like to die at the age of old surrounded by you know loving friends and family and absolutely no pain whatsoever Uh gone off those good hospital drugs, perhaps Um problems and cocktail. Yes Mm-hmm. Yeah, I Just heard a weird noise from the kitchen. I'm gonna go check on that. Okay I think it's called the word like taking it in turns to kill a home invader

Uh, yes Oh question for Liam golf gti versus golf r Uh Okay, I hang on one second. So If you sort of view the golf r as basically a baby outie This question was a lot, uh, harder to answer before they jacked them all up wildly in price and sort of Defeated the point of the golf r where now you would just buy an outie a3 um

I quite like my gti Uh, but the golf r does have all wheel drive which i'm very jealous of and I think like for my purposes If like if you sort of to me like I don't really give a shit about the interior As long as I have bluetooth and heated seats. That's all I really care about um I I would say I'd stick with the golf r because of the all wheel drive and the bigger turbo but uh the gti is is sort of like

You know, I have x amount of dollars now. It's like whatever they're up to 30 30 tail And I want, you know an everything car. I think the gti is maybe a little better at that Do you think that having the like sort of like this of the golf r though? Hmm. Do you think that having the scandal weegeans like all wheel drive and shit like that makes it sort of less golf Like and more like an outie though. Yeah, I do. I really do and I think that having it just be front wheel drive and and mine, uh Now that it's been modded has a significant amount of torque steer, but I think that sort of adds to the fun Hmm

Sure, you're doing like a philadelphia drift, you know, yes I figured out what the what the problem was Someone someone got on top of the fridge And then jumped down and then knocked over a whole bunch of bullshit Um You're being tormented by these cats. I was about to say a very very powerful cats Hmm All right, here's one

Yes, Liam and Justin the woke left have forced you the transition to make the podcast 100 trans. What are your names? Yeah, easy I mean, yeah, I just not too far off what I did easy option As I was told if I were born a different gender, I would be jessica I would be easelin is what my parents told me Aislin Ashlyn that would be ashlyn. Yeah Aislin

Like insisting that it's pronounced that way I know one ashling was a fan of the podcast and that's how that is pronounced That's fine. I don't give a shit Just like a given a succession of like irish names Each of which you insist is pronounced the way that it's spelled in like english Yes, the sigh of hand Say or say say or say yes You can throw a shoe at any person if they're dead, they're now alive for the duration of the shoot toss

Who are you throwing at? Hold on a second Oh, I see so Right. See like We are all month there as IED, right? We're throwing a shoe at We're throwing a shoe at a historical person or it could be anybody a live person. Yes But if they're if they're dead, then they're they're resurrected for the purposes of us doing this. Yes Um, I you got me thinking about the civil war again

So I'm just gonna say Robert E. Lee because I think it'd be funny I don't know. I hit him in the head with a boot Like not not like a shoe either like a boot A big one Yeah, like a riding boot and I hit him in the head with a riding boot. Um, I'm going with Kissinger Yeah, not a bad one. Yeah, because I don't want to give anyone the dignity of being resurrected No, because it's it's it's great because if you resurrected like Robert E. Lee or Stonewall Jackson or Nathan Bedford Forest or whatever you could be like Uh, you and your guys have not only like lost but you continued to eat shit for the next

150 years Also, you're about to get Hit in the head with a boot and then you hit him in the head with a boot and then they die again Um, which to me seems like a sort of embarrassing Interlude in your death, right as you come back find out that you have taken yet another L Then you get hit in the head with a boot and then it's back to death Yeah, I feel like well the problem the problem is, you know, if uh, If you resurrected Stonewall Jackson

Do I then have to go down to the cemetery in Lexington to throw the shoe at him? I think they come to you Lexington enough No, what I'm thinking is You know less than you know, like like less than a quarter mile away in the same cemetery as my granddad Oh And I'm like, okay, you know, maybe I should be resurrecting him Is this all happening because we all get one is this all happening at the same time is uh, is Robert E. Lee gonna arise from the dead and see Henry Kissinger

And then a second laser get hit in the face with a boot because That's sort of like adds a level of unpredictability. This is true. This is the whole affair Yeah Liam who's your guy who's getting hit in the head with a boot? Uh, who's getting hit in the head of the boot? Uh, for sure. All right, and and they come back to life if I do this Not permanently just like long enough for you to hit him with the thing um Let's see. There's a lot of people I hate where my rage simply wouldn't be expressed enough

Or I'd be sort of in some sort of time loop of hitting them to death It's sort of a contempt thing more than I hate with the That's a weird sort of like dinner party arrangement that you've got Nelson Rockefeller, Henry Kissinger and Robert E. Lee Lining those guys up. Yeah, no No, I would feel bad about resurrecting someone from a cemetery where I have relatives buried um It's fucked up that you're sort of like your gift of resurrection is only applied to like someone who you want to make suffer more Exactly. Yes

Sort of theologically concerning. Yeah, there's there's there's there's a theological issue here Someone someone did this to us again. Okay Okay Fuck Mary kill Robert Moses Santiago Calatrava E. Hunter Harrison. We already did this one. Yes Uh, I I I guess I fucked Calatrava. Yeah. Yeah Yes, you think the t1 trust project will take the speed crown from the brits If they let it sure

Yeah, I mean, that's the real question is if they let it Because you'd have to figure out somewhere to run the damn thing and that that is exactly I've heard that there there are talks about it, but I haven't heard, you know, any specific plans You know, because I'm betting heavily on default once again If the state of your rail infrastructure doesn't allow this to happen and Britain Continues to hold the record just by like default. Perfect. Yeah, I think that may be the case Should have been faster in both senses shut up What is the best hoagie to get at wawa ideally with specific ordering instructions because I am in line right now

I Fuck I Spicy Italian add pepperoni toast whole thing a little bit of garlic aioli Or if you want to feel slutty Cheese steak add pepperoni add bacon Oh, that's an interesting one. Yeah um You know, I would have to go with um

I mean, I'm generally a fan of you know, keeping it kind of scent. I I like the chicken salad I like to throw some lettuce and pickles and some hot peppers on there Also a very good one is if you get the um, what is it the one with the chicken finger hoagie? Yeah, I get there's a lot Yeah, yeah, you throw some out They got do they got Nashville hot non non there now. Yeah. Oh my god. I gotta go there and check it out. I um, you know, there's um I I mean the best hoagie to get a wawa is to just go through the menu and see what you want Um, also, that's fucking helpful ordering

Yeah, explaining how a restaurant works Yes well It's no nearly 10. It's like two in the morning for Alice It's nearly two in the morning. It is five to three in the morning Oh my god The the things that I do for this patreon money and also for you my friends Love you so much. I blame milkshake

You son of a bitch All right, how much longer do we want to go? Give me three more questions. Three more questions. That seems fair um So what is uh, uh, maybe a kind of personal one for Alice if we can do it. Oh, christ. Alice. How did you find Islam? Oh my god. Okay, so I was in this long stage of uh, like nebulously Thing so I was raised christian and sort of like fell out of that pretty easily

Uh, I was like looking around for something without really knowing that I was looking or what it was for um And ended up reading like a little paperback translation of the Quran that just sort of like grabbed me there's um It was like an annotated version as a hadith in there at the start like a footnote. Um, it's like, uh Uh, god says whoever Comes near to me by like the breadth of a hand You know, I'm close to him by like the breadth of an arm whoever comes to me walking. I come to him running Uh, whoever meets me with enough sin to fill the world

I will meet him with as much forgiveness and that felt like being struck by lightning So at that point it wasn't really like a choice or anything. I had to think about it was just like whether or not I was gonna post about it and I post about everything so Uh, yeah from that point. I was just like trying to figure out some manner of Practicing what I actually Felt in terms of Islam and that's been ever since pretty much I'm pretty bad at it and like I fuck up a lot, but ultimately coming from that sort of like place of

Unchuted sincere belief and that's why next I was about to say someone's gonna cancel you on tumblr for that Probably for like horribly misquoting it because I can't actually remember the thing but uh, yeah Um Okay

Uh, uh, shit will Justin or Liam convert to Islam with Alice inshallah comrades He just heard my elevator pitch and I don't think it was it was that good. So Oh, well perfectly happy Whatever it is that I have Uh, we're god damn it. I can't even do this one thing, you know No, I mean, I I do want to say that uh, Occasionally people have messaged me to say that like hey because of you. I started like reading about Islam like I am now Muslim and that's genuinely like

One unambiguously positive thing that I've managed to do with uh with Islam is like Hey, I might fuck up as much as possible. But you know Now I'm like You gotta you gotta write down all of the other like a good shit that this guy did because it's because of me now You know, so there was someone who reached out to me and began the process of converting to Judaism because of me which I found very Kind and a little scary

How are you doing well? It's it's like emotionally, you know, did they did they get the hard part over with earlier? Was that like uh Well, I don't want to reveal too much information about this person My voice is really really good. This is fun. I'm sure I've told this joke before but um so so Muslim Muslims get circumcised as well, right and uh, so when I I had my first appointment for uh, for gender surgery for for the pussy surgery the Surgeon saw that I was Muslim. He's like, oh, did you have to get circumcised for that?

And I was like, I was kind of depending on you to take care of that for me And I was kind of hoping that that would be kind of an irrelevant once you were done with this whole situation Just a little off the top That's right. Yeah. No, I'm in for something more, you know, sort of more conclusive than that. Thank you I I just got to say if someone like DM me and said, hey, I converted to Catholicism because of you I would say you did why Are you gonna become one of those weird trad cat guys? You're gonna move to dime square. Oh Christ All right, here's a good one art deco or art nouveau

Art deco Um I go with art nouveau. I'm also with art nouveau. I like I like a good curve. You know, yes, I need to Need to see uh, uh, uh, you know a bunch of curves and you know, maybe a a bunch of you know, really Thoughtfully done wallpapers. Maybe a a poster with an extremely extremely attractive lady on it. You know, I like me I like me a nice gazaam Kunstwerk You wash your mouth out

Legally, everyone is like required once they hit the age of like 35 to get one of those Art nouveau like posters for like duval or whatever in the house Yeah, no like no remembers why they have it. You just get one or like one of the alphonse musher four seasons things I could do it six years early. No problem Give me some absinthe give me some uh, give me some uh Architecture that was done entirely on hallucogens Some Bella pock shit truly Yeah

Favorite dinosaurs or other prehistoric creatures megalodon I don't know. I'm not elaborating on any of these No, just like quick fire um I don't know. I might be trad and say um triceratops t-rex is pretty cool, too hmm Stegosaurus with the thagamizer The stegosaurus actually seems kind of cool. I might go with stegosaurus. They seem they seem like they're pretty chill

Um, you know when they're not fighting someone. Um, I would I would probably I could probably hang out with a stegosaurus It's probably it's more chill than a hippo. I would say it's basically a bastard's man. Yeah. Oh my god hippos are like They will murder you instantly Oh, yeah, and not even eat you because I heard before so just kill you and just leave you there. Yes Look if you're gonna kill me at least have the decent forty three degrees to 10 degrees and 30 minutes ah cool Actually, okay, so maybe we'll conclude on this one because I think this is an interesting one

What is the closest any of y'all have been to actually experiencing a podcast worthy disaster firsthand? um um I've I've led a very Charmed or privileged life, right? I've as far as I know I've only like come close to dying one time I like got sort of like I had a sailboat cap size on top of me Um, that wasn't really a disaster though. That was just incompetence. That's because we didn't know how to sail um, you and ras both or the hero

Yeah No, that was a different situation But that is also not my answer So geographically closest I was in like I was in london on uh seven seven during the tube bombings. Oh, wow like It was the last it was the last day of school as far as I remember and we like saw the like ambulances and fire trucks and stuff Like scream past on the road outside. Um But that's not really close like it's a big city. I'm

I I I don't know I think that's it. I think that genuinely is it I used to take the train or the l out to 69th street terminal and I would transfer the to trolley there to get the media pennsylvania where my job was um, and so 69th street terminal the l pulls in

All passengers get off and it goes on a big loop That's on a bridge comes back the other way picks people up on the other platform, right? um, so one day I was there and uh, you know, I get off the train um, and Whoever was driving the l that day had a bit of a lead foot Went up through the loop And then the train just fell over

Oh And I was like This is the funniest thing I've seen in my life Like generally derail the train right in front of me That's beautiful Who wouldn't really bad if I was on it, but no one was on it. So it's just really funny Well, what particularly one guy was on it and he had an interesting an interesting morning. Yeah, but the first car didn't derail He just like threw the ass end of the train off the track

Oh This is why you need all-wheel drive, you know, maybe you're right about the golf art after all It was all wheel drive No, wow All right, mine is that time. I accidentally uh blew up a still in college I was gonna say did you did you go to school in like 1920 atlantic city? What the fuck? It's kind of like that though. Charleston, west virginia or like

I guess morgan town's where the college is. Um, yeah You ever burn any couches? Have I yeah a couple times but that's at the point We should burn a catch sometime When I get out there we can all three of us burn a couch together Um All right, what's everyone stamina like? Uh, I can do one more

Let's see if we can find a good one Where's frank? Where's frank god? Why aren't you modeling 3d assets for franklin right now? Cuz alcoholism Um Nate this is why we extended universe thunder dome who is coming out alive It's his name on it and he was in the army. I mean, I guess joe was too. So that's he's yeah

Yeah, I I think actually yeah, it is joe kasabian's coming out. Um, I don't want to fight him That's that's why he would beat me is I don't want to fight him Yeah, I don't want to like pick favorites, but yeah, it's it's gotta be joe Well, I think the issue is no one would want to fight each other Hmm I'm just I'm I'm doing the british rail thing. I'm just sitting in the corner and then you guys can all kill each other We need we need like a motivation to fight each other here. Yeah It's like all of the patreon money is in a big transparent

Yeah, one of those one of those things where uh, the thing blows around the money and you have to grab it as fast as possible Yeah, that's how we grab a paycheck every month. They make us do squid game for the patreon money I mean joe also has a tbi so I don't I don't know how tall is nate? Yeah, nate nates, um I have a good image in my head like met the guy a bunch of times don't have a good image in my head How tall nace is but I wouldn't want to fight him either. There's gonna be like divided alliances here Joe just gave me this like as far as I know like I've met him and he's like six four Alice if you stick with us, I think we can take on the trash boys

How tall is riley? Riley's Riley's also like frankly alarmingly ripped is the problem I don't like that doesn't necessarily mean anything. I I will say I met Milo last weekend and I you know, I Could probably take him Yeah, I appreciate that we've all gotten into the like squaring up against our co-hosts like we might have to do this in the future Like how Batman knows all his uh all his friends weaknesses just in case Well, I mean let's we forget that like uh, not only do we have sort of joker sabian on side through you We also have devon on our side. Uh, this is a good point. Yes. I'm feeling like our

I'm huge enormous 25 feet. There's so really Yeah, yeah, so I think our camp is gonna like it's gonna be looking pretty good until we split off into like individual fights Uh, oh, yeah, then then that's gonna be real ugly. Yeah. Yeah, and then it's then it's going to like uh dev joe And maybe Nate I would say thank you Alice jackass Yeah I'm just I I'm just I caught other weapons involved. That's another question. No

The Philly fanatic has been deployed into the arena As an agent of chaos xfl style and will fight whoever he sees We we are all defeated by the fanatic This is the fanatic standing itself a pile of our corpse Ah Well Driving the little fucking hot dog cast around our dead bodies I'm gonna I'm gonna call that that was question time

Yeah, thank you for coming at question time. Thank you Happy holidays from our podcast to you. Absolutely go fuck yourselves. Um Thank you for coming to the war on Christmas And we'll be back in the new year with more More stuff more disasters. We're working on stuff right now. Hope they do not involve us Uh, but maybe they will maybe they won't Well, I mean if any of us die in the line of juicy the thing that we expect Yes

Make a podcast episode about our demise Yeah, that would be fun. I avenge our deaths. I like sulfur Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. All right. I'm calling it