Well There‘s Your Problem - Episode 148: De Havilland Comet

Episode Date: December 20, 2023

these days we all have stress concentrations Our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/wtyppod/ Send us stuff! our address: Well There's Your Podcasting Company PO Box 26929 Philadelphia, PA 19134 DO NOT SEND US LETTER BOMBS thanks in advance Further reading:  Behaviour of Skin Fatigue Cracks at the Corners of Windows in a Comet I Fuselage - Ministry of Aviation https://web.archive.org/web/20070614204718/http://naca.central.cranfield.ac.uk/reports/arc/rm/3248.pdf The Cohen Committee Report:  https://reports.aviation-safety.net/1954/19540408-2_COMT_G-ALYY.pdf in the commercial: Local Forecast - Elevator Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

is going. We have a power point. Fantastic. Do I have? Yep, that's the right thing. All right, that's, that was much smoother than last time. Yeah. We're getting good at this. Finally. Yes. 150. And all it took us was like half an hour beforehand of complaining about city's skylines and trying to understand 1920s racial categorization. Yes. We're really doing terrific here.

To try and work out why white people are called Caucasian. Yes. It's because apparently we are all, we are all, what you call it? Armenians. We're all Armenians because we all descend from, we all descend from Noah's Ark, which landed at Mount Errorrad, which if your Armenian is in Armenia and if you're Turkish, go fuck yourself. We're going to get so many, so many answers from Ridehold Messner, our biggest Turkish fan.

I apologize. I apologize. No, you don't. No, you don't. And listen, I have to keep Armenia on site because Armenia is where all the broke trans women go for facial feminization surgery. So let me just say now, victims of historical Azerbaijan, aggression and Turkish genocide. Ararat is in Armenia.

Please give me the facial feminization surgery. I need it badly. Yeah. And I just want to retract every time I've said, well done, Baku. All right. Hello. And welcome to, well, there's your problem. It's a podcast about engineering disasters with slides. I'm Justin Razznack. I'm the person who's talking right now. My pronouns are he and him. Okay, go. I am Alex Gordor Kelly. I'm the person who's talking right now. My pronouns are he and him. Okay, go. I am Alex Kultowkeli. I'm the person who's talking now. I am proudly Armenian. My pronouns are she and her. Ye Liam. Ye Liam. Hi. I'm Liam McInderson debuting the new last name because I got married. Hey, congratulations. Thank you. Congratulations on getting married. Yes, and I'm here, I'm just gonna butt right in

because I got married, I'm using my privileges to tell you. So I employed by a place called Lutheran Sullivan House, which works with homeless, which works with victims of domestic violence, which works with seniors who kind of have nowhere else to go, or just want to be part of a community. And we are desperately short on Christmas presents

for our families. I am asking you to donate at either LutheranSettlement.org. You can mail packages to LutheranSettlement House. Please put Yellium in the description when you do that, because I could tell that my supervisor, Erica, was very happy and very confused to read Yaelium because a bunch of you have already donated, which I am very grateful. Yeah, we'll flash it with that up on screen. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, our official line here is

fuck toys for tots, fuck the US Marines donate to Liam. That's right. But probably in proamania, anti-marine. Yes. That's actually pretty close to the thing. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you very much. I appreciate it. The kids will appreciate it.

Thank you again. Now, onto the disaster. Now, what you see here on the screen is figure four, reconstruction of fuselage and tail unit wreckage G-ALYP. That's good, right? G is a British plane. This is, I'm feeling patriotic already. Oh, you should probably stop that.

I think bad things happen when Britzfield patriotic. Well, like this, like what's happened to poor Gulf Alpha Lima Yankee Puffer here. This was the Havelin comet. It's not supposed to look like that. Been looking forward to this episode for a long time. Long time. Yeah. Yeah. Today we're going to talk about the Dohavelin comet, the first jet airliner.

And all the good things that happened to it, study in British excellence. All I can say is once they fixed the bugs, it was not that bad of a plane. So the F-35 of our liners. Yes, but first we have to do the God damn news. Yeah, that's me. I got married. You got married. Congratulations to both of you.

Congratulations again on scoticizing your last name. What does it feel like to be a son of Alba now? Oh, it feels pretty good. My old last name was actually a double barrel last name because I fancy like that. And uh, it's actually going to be fancy to have one of those. Yeah. Yes. I'm well known for being a fancy boy. I fancily pack tens of dip in my mouth.

You get the like chairman's reserve dip, you know? Yes. Thank you listeners, those of you who came, uh, friends of the show. We spent way too much money at the bar and we ran them out of crawler. So, well, I'll talk to everybody. Yes. I was very sorry to miss it.

I would like to lie and say that I'm somewhere in this photo in the champagne cloud. But, oh, the confetti cloud. You're here in this sort of fading in. Yeah, just like clumsily photoshop me into this one, I guess. Please. This is my favorite photo from the night. This is the last photo taken of the night. It's really nice. You're a good photographer. Yeah, yeah. Just, oh, I'm going to forget her last night. Pal Tucci, excellent work. Excellent photography. Really nice lady. Yeah, it was a lot of fun.

I'm happy to be married. I'm happy that Fred has met half a shit that's for a lot of me forever. Once again, another one of your favorite podcasts is Progressive towards adulthood and sort of life milestones. You know, kind of rumbling towards it. Yeah, please, please don't like feel in any way insecure about your parasocial attachment in the course of this, because the podcast, the states of the podcast

remain strong, you know, yes. Yes. And Ross is not married. So ladies start lining up. Exactly. Yeah. The last bachelor member of, well, well as your problem most eligible podcaster. Oh, yeah, well, you're the only one you're the only one really. Yeah, the most normal man among us. Extremely normal. Um, yes, uh, congratulations to Liam and Corinne for getting married. Yes. and Corinne for getting married. Yes. Corinne is lovely. I hope you have like 10 billion years of happiness. Yeah. All sustained by our beloved hogs.

Yes. Pay the bills. Yeah. 10 billion years of hogs. That's right. Yeah. Thanks, folks. We're going to get the bonus out.

That's one of the reasons for the delay of the bonus for November. I think it's fair to be minor, little tiny life event, you know. Giving myself an excuse, but to be like, yeah, I think it's fine to take a couple of weeks when you get married. Yeah. Yeah, don't worry.

There will be a December bonus in which I say unspeakable things about our listeners. Real cruel stuff. Well, yeah, this is the abuse episode. which I say unspeakable things about our listeners. Real cruel stuff. Oh yeah, this is the abuse episode. And unless we like run out the clock on the timing and we're not able to record it, in which case Justin you have to get married like urgently. So we have an excuse to postpone the dissapointment.

Sorry, I know someone who will marry Ross, it's fine. Okay. That person is me, I'll have to get a divorce. Oh, right. Like not even married for a month and already a big amus. We that could be that could be. I talked to Ross once about like getting married for tax reasons. Anytime my hair about the like you two living together. That was that was health insurance reasons. No, it was health insurance reasons.

Yeah. Well, yeah, wait, I, you know, it's it's fine. It's fine. That was I was I was I didn't think it was that necessary. I know we figured it out, but that was a bread up there with our plans to buy a Victorian and West Philly. Oh, I'm still going to do that. a right up there with our plans to buy a Victorian and West Philly. I'm still going to do that.

I know. I got to be an investor in that. So I could have the Liam room, which is just also the map room, but the war room. Yeah, exactly. Give me a share of that so I can get a US visa and I have to worry so much about getting penis detectives at the airport. We can probably probably forward you a visa. Yeah, the odds of getting penis detectives at the airport going up catastrophically, as you say this. Also, all the times I say anything about Hamas. Yeah.

Speaking of a mass. Good news, everyone. According to the US House of Representatives, we're all anti-Samites now. Oh, all right. Yeahites now. Oh, incredible. Yeah, they rule this. Anti-Antisynism is anti-Semitism, apparently. I'm Jewish. And no, it's not.

And I mean, if you go back and look at like any early off, that matter, current Zionist writing that seems to be insanely anti-Semitic, like Theodore Herzl's talking about like Austin. No, it didn't, it didn't say that, and you're anti-Semitic. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that this has just declared every Jewish person under like 35 to be an anti-Semite. I will say that there's an article I read about the sort of generational gap in American

shoes about Israel. And my mother's worst opinion used to be, she was not a staunch Zionist, but she was like, you know, kind of like she spent some time on the kibbutz in the 70s. It was like, yeah, you know, it's sort of both sides started to call you out, mom. When you've lost my mother, and she's just like, what do you, like, no, that's fucked up and wrong. When you've lost my mother,

you are doing something wrong. Yeah, I think it's like a process of doing things wrong less and less subtly. So decades until, no one come after my mother, she knows more and is better than you. Just kind of like rubbing the world's face in it, you know. Yeah, exactly. Well, too, we're doing you can't stop us. Nanananana. Yeah, our biggest wetest

Santa's John Fattaman. Oh my God. At least we knew that Pat Tumey was a chud. We I I think share some responsibility for this because I feel embarrassed. Obviously, it's pretty ashamed that that's what he's doing. I was not, uh, has not expecting him to be, to be the breakout character in, uh, the pro Israel, uh, lobby. I just thought it was funny to have a big guy as Senator. Yeah. The big guy who violates the dress code is a lot less fun.

It turns out when he's, uh, you know, virulently pro genocide. Yes. He also just said something stupid about the border as we went to air. Fantastic. And this guy's got a job for life, although, you know, given the state of his health, we can have some hopes on that school. Hey, no, no, I wonder what happens the next primary. I mean, you know, it's like what,

it's still four years off. Yeah. And I, he could, he could still get, he could still get knocked off. Dr. Oz. Dr. Oz, yeah, well, you know, I would hope that he would get primary to not, you know, wind up, you know,

we give the seat to what's his face from Central Pennsylvania? The Republican guy, Masteriano, that's the guy. One of the many idiots from Central Pennsylvania that I named. Name sounds like a deli meat. Yeah, no, I know. Yeah. You got to give it to some like a very slick, like social media forward, like the essay

person, you know. Yeah. Oh Liam, you should run for Senator. Yeah, you got married to your family man, you're respectable now. It's dirty, right? I can do it, right? Yeah, I'm pretty too. So let's do it.

Yeah, like I'll yell yeah. All right. Well, that's your Senate run. Brought out. Yeah, we're going to do, we we're gonna run for Senate as a unit. Yeah, it's the Liam bras Alice three headed monster Senate or a campaign. Yeah, it's like the it's like a and it's always sunny when they get the mail room job. Yeah, I do appreciate that. Speaking of speaking of someone so tweeted uh giving to Lutheran settlement house

and i do want to say having to explain to my boss what the hell gay lega meant was the highlight of my day they're like why does it say this and i was like i've been bullying people on twitter all four hey like i operate a kind of like years long cult i guess is the best way to explain that uh it's like the the email we got from Lilith Fund when we steered a bunch of people towards there in the wake of Texas's hideous abortion ban. And we got a personal email from like the, one of the directors of Lilith Fund.

And I was just like, I love that we helped people get medically necessary care. And also like, they got medically necessary care through pick jokes. Like we'll fund your abortion, but it's going to get what's going to get kind of weird. Yes. Um, yeah. So, uh, the one thing we should say, uh, just because we got to mention it every episode

until the horror stop situation in Palestine is still very, very bad. Uh, go to protests, go, go, go, you know, you're Senator. Yeah. Cool stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Go, go, go fully account. You know, exactly. You got to, you know, the eyes of the world are upon you. Time to, time to do some shit. Yeah. Perfectly legal shit. You don't have to censor that, Devon. Perfectly legal, perfectly legal shit. You don't have to censor that Devon at perfectly legal perfectly legal and cool Just make sure your elected official has a nice time maybe remain remain remain mad of the episode. Yeah remain mad remain vigilant remain active

You know it'll help you remain active and vigilant is our next news item. Oh boy Yes, yes America is the greatest country in the history of the world. You guys say, you mix up the genres. It makes up for the genocide by the fact that it also invented the lemonade that kills you instantly. Yeah, but all these people already had heart conditions. That's the thing because this comes up every few years, where it's like, oh, he died. Cause he drank nine Red Bulls at, oh, by the way,

he had a pre-existing heart condition. Pinarabred has invented a lemonade. I will never let you get through news. It's good. They tasted it. It has. How many beef did you have before coming on me? How many what?

How many of the lemonade that kills you instantly? Did you have? I have drank three C4 for four of its energies just today I feel Here I am starting to day off with a half decaf coffee So Panera bread has come out with this, basically energy drink lemonade, which apparently is not adequately labeled as such. It's so caffeinated. Like 300 milligrams of caffeine or something, yeah.

Yeah, it's fucking delicious. There is an employee in the back with a mortar and pestle grinding up caffeine tablets. I used to do that I used to do that and it was like you have to stop you can't put caffeine in the everclarer punch I told you I told you you got to be careful with that stuff the L.D. 50 is surprisingly low Large as many people have found out because two people, two people, okay, but two people have been, have been like compromised to a permanent end. We've had the asses clapped by some pizza for drinking the panero bread lemonade. And yeah, the regular contains 266 milligrams of caffeine, which is approximately 3 8.4 ounce

Red Bulls and the large is 390 which is approximately 5 8.4 ounce You're drinking a 40 of Red Bull basically so drink one of these go to space drink more than one of these It die is the conclusion. It's a lot. That's a lot of caffeine. I hate to be corporetist here, but Penerife hit me up in the DMs He will endorse the lemonade that kills you instantly just comes to be in the face of giving you a thumbs up. I'm taking a brave stance. Yes I support listen. I think it's tasty. I had one of them in Alabama and I could have driven for miles. I think the thing is, right, that America is at its best when it lets you do things as an individual

that you really shouldn't. And Americans are at their best when they forget that they have to pay for their health care. So this situation here, it's like the like one pound barito, right? It's like it shouldn't exist. It's in a front that it exists. What pound is not that big? That's not a big burrito, yeah. Okay, fine, fine, like 10 pound barito. Oh, you're talking about the,

you're talking about the toddler from Marbaretos and you're a hundred pound barito, whatever. You're talking about the toddler. Yeah, you can come to VA and we'll get you one, Alice. I, yeah, we're gonna go VA and we'll get you one, Alice. I am. We're going to go to Robberitos in New York, Pennsylvania. And we're all going to get toddlers. It's called that because it's the size of a toddler.

I'm hearing America the Beautiful in the back of my head right now. This is, um. This is incredible. And, you know, many happy returns to Panera Bread. Yes. They're going to ban this. Like someone who is no fun is going to ban this, I'm sure. It's weird that it comes from Panera Bread, which I usually find to be a lackluster experience. Oh, yeah. It's, you know, it's, they've gotten worse.

Sorry, I had to stand up and take off my belt because I'm fat and old. I think you're young and vivacious. I was young and vivacious five minutes ago, but now the age has set it. Yeah, the, the penera bread, the paneroleaf, the paneroleaf. Yeah, yeah, I'm taking big, I'm taking big gulps of the sea for starburst strawberry. It's so good. I feel terrific. I get nervous when I have too much caffeine and too much is not a lot. So this is a fun way to poison me. I drink a lot of. I seem to have randomly rebuilt up my caffeine tolerance, which is nice I've been drinking coffee this whole week and nothing bad has happened so far. You've got the shakes. That's good

I'm glad. Yeah, exactly. Oh, I get the shakes so bad dude from like anus. That's also because I got the half caffeine coffee as opposed to the full caffeine Caffeine coffee. That's because you're a gigantic fucking pussy, but that's okay. I'm a, I'm a, I'm a hit with D calf, you know, yeah. Yeah, but I, I'm more merciful to you than I am to him. I know, I know, I know I'm your favorite. I just want to have a drink that's not water that milkshake won't drink. All right. Time to start drinking just straight liquor.

Yeah. That'll, that'll learn you. Yeah. But yeah, so don't drink the Panera lemonade if you have a heart condition. Don't you, Panera lemonade at all. If you value your life. Don't go to Panera, it's not that good. There's other places that are like,

I mean, what do they even have in Panera? Soup, they have soup, they have. Okay, see what it says. I mean, what do they even have in panera soup? They have soup. They have. Okay. What's this? Yeah, I had an bacon egg and cheese there once at the panera in Pittsburgh. And the problem is it's not structured in a way where, you know, they give you a runny egg, which I like, but it's structured in such a way that runny egg will explode in your face. Was that the one where I threw up on the side of the road? Was that the truth? Yes.

Okay. That was the idea. I was that crap. So my food court pick here if we're doing that is probably a subway. And the thing about subway is I will get a meatball marinara. If that's not pork, I forget whether it is or not. I get the meatless one. And then what I do is I spend the rest of the day.

I book out the day. I will get subway in the morning. I will spend the rest of the day shitting and feeling bad. And it's still kind of worth it as an experience. So same with jollaby. Yeah, I don't know what my my go to like fast casual is. That is a category. Ross, what's yours? What is my go-to fast casual? I mean, I'm just not in the situation where I go there very often. I like Chipotle. I like Chipotle, but the thing about Chipotle is it seems to have, like everything else, it's gone down in quality. I mean, there's sort of a depth spiral, it seems like right now. All the ingredients are

getting less time. I went to Chipotle. It was when I bought the suit for the wedding, right? And, you know, after I was at Joseph A. Banks, I went upstairs. I got the burrito free up storage space. Oh my God. Hold on. Um, what have you been torrenting? Uh, we discussed that earlier. We discussed that earlier. Not willingly, not willingly. As a result of un-un-unvetted city of Skylines mods, you're a fucking fucking disaster. Not even a regular fucking disaster, a fucking fucking disaster. I've had so much caffeine, I feel great.

Recycled bin, come on. Can I do this in time? Wept. I, yes. I don't know what I just deleted. Can I, can I complete Halo before the rubber bands crush my TV? Except this? Can I empty my recycle bin before the recording I'm doing takes up that space? Yeah. I am so okay up that space. Yeah. I am so, okay, all right. So, Roz, after this episode is over, message me or text me and tell me a time

that I can come over next week and I'm going to install all the hard drives that I've given you. And then after that, I'm going to beat you to death with them. What you should do, what you should do, is when you're installing those hard drives, remember to don't mount them on our thing, just leave them at like an angle in the case. I know, I'm out, I'm out.

It's fine. You can just quit because now you can spend time with your wife, which is much healthier and activity than doing this. It is very funny that my wedding was largely paid for in patron dollars. So thanks folks. Have you have you done a Borad voice my wife since? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The first the first few months of marriage in my experience are not getting over the fact that you are a Husband or wife and so is your husband or wife and so just using those words a lot. You get about you got about six months where you can say that

at any time for no reason. Yeah, all right. Yeah, no, thank you. I have done a little bit of that just because it's very fun to be irritating because again, she bet her half her shit that she'll love me forever. So I am all in on just being as annoying as possible. So I am all in on just being as annoying as possible. In summary, if you have a heart condition,

don't buy the Panera bread lemonade that kills you instantly. Now that we're 25 minutes in, that was the God damn news. God bless whichever one of you puts chapters on the videos sometimes. You do an essential piece of work for the podcast that we never, ever think about doing ourselves. So here is an image of a metal plate with a crack. You notice this crack is big, but this crack with two holes is smaller. I do notice that.

I like the illustration stuff. Very, uh, seventies kind of. And so this is from the handbook of damage control, maritime damage control. Oh, wow. Published by the US Navy in 1945, this is figure 34-20. Holes may be drilled at the ends of a crack and then plugged to stop crack extension. Oh yes, I started to be baby. And so this is sort of one of these things that was known about since like the days of the iron clad, so that if you had a crack,

you could drill a hole at each end of the crack and it would at least temporarily stop it from getting bigger. Right. And this is sort of for a long time, was almost a piece of folk knowledge. You could halt cracks temporarily by drilling a hole in them. The state of the science and materials didn't really explain this well. I won't die when you're like, we can build sort of like the B25 bomber, no idea how any of the stuff in it works, just full adept as mechanical shit. Yeah, I like the monitor in the Maramaque, you know. It's one of these things where it works sometimes, sort of like a deluvial geology, right?

Yeah, where you were managed to, you managed to find minerals based on how you expected Noah's flood to have occurred. Because there were enough minerals around at the time that you could just fucking minecraft that shit. It's sort of approximated glaciation as the other thing. It kind of worked. It usually didn't, but sometimes it didn't. But this particular handbook is from 1945, right?

We had big warships, big locomotives, big long cars and airplanes, right? Today, we'd talk about sort of this is being an example of reducing something called a stress concentration, but we didn't really have the mathematics to describe that yet. Stress concentration is what you have when you're trying to get through the news and then Liam and I are interrupting you. Yes. You deserve to suffer. Yeah, so you know, the

We draw a hole in you then maybe that's actually that's called Treponation if we trepation, then you will not be as stressed about the news, right? I've heard, I've heard that's had some good results. All right, well, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait Yeah, I mean, I don't know. The full cost is a capital. I'm proud of it. I'm proud of it. But this is like one of those things that worked that wasn't fully understood, right?

And until we had like finite element analysis, which is sort of in its infancy in the 1940s, it existed, but we sure as hell didn't have the computers to make it worthwhile. Doing that shit out by hand. Terrible. They made the mechanical engineers do that. I was a civil engineer.

All I could do is point and laugh at them. Now our second subject here is in the early part of the 20th century. Wow. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. Yeah.

Like that. The British flying boats that we had from like short, and I wanna say Saunders Row were incredible looking. Throughout, like the whole history. This is Saunders Row SR45 Princess. This is the largest metal flying boat. It's beautiful. Yes, very, very big.

But I think about flying as it was not very good for a while, right? Really up until the late 50s. Even if you were rich, you know, you're going in relatively slow speeds, two or three hundred miles per hour at best. You know, all these stops to refuel in like Newfoundland or Iceland or Anchorage or Karachi or Shannon. Shannon, you're like, where else? I mean, you're in all of the Indiana Jones ship where you're like dots on. Yeah, exactly. I love those secrets. Yeah, it has a certain romance when you're not like in the plane. Yeah, right. Yeah. But like eight hour flight today would

take you know, two days. You have these very loud propeller planes, they're flying at low altitudes, they got more drag and slower speeds, right? There's some airliners that are starting to show up, like the Lockheed Constellation, they can fly higher, they have some of the earliest pressurized cabins, but this was not like normal and then higher. It's very good technology.

You adapt bombers for this. And if bombers are flying higher to avoid anti-aircraft artillery and then sort of like very early missiles and you start pressurizing cabins, then you go, hey, we can fit a bunch of salarymen in there. And they did. Yeah. Flying as, you know, it's annoying, it's slow, and you know, we're at a point where, as opposed to the day where it's annoying and at least fast sometimes. Yeah, if you don't have a guy, I hated this dude so fucking much. I saw TikTok today and on the TikTok,

I saw a man smuggle in instant mashed potatoes and raw shrimp and a six-volt battery, death by firing squad. Then he cooked himself shrimp and mashed potatoes in an airplane bathroom sink firing squad is too dignified by that guy. He got to take that man of the if the federal marshal service is good for anything. They got to follow that guy home from the airport like it did that is the only man who should be in the Louisiana State Correction System. That water's depotable either. No, it's gray water. It's gray water.

I was going to say. And plus, plus, plus, like, okay, maybe they like gray water, but it's not, it's not potable water. Yeah, there's like fucking shit in that. Plus, they clean the bathrooms, but not after like every person uses it. So like if the guy in front of you has just come out from like an hour long, heinous diarrhea experience, washed his hands in the sink,

and then you go in right after the cook your shrimp. You too will have a heinous diarrhea experience. Well, there's your problem, top tip. Don't make your own meal in the airplane bathroom. Fuck you. Unless you're on a certain Japan Airlines flight. In which case you might come out here. You might come out here.

They actually do have a top tip, though, which is, don't drink to your coffee on an airliner. Get a bottle of water. And maybe even like, don't wash your hands in the bathroom get an alcohol wipe or hand sanitizer Get them off the cabin crew. They have extras. They have tons for exactly this reason because that water is fucking gross And as much as it like the FAA put in standards for like the Cleanliness of the water tanks on airlines like Ten years ago and those standards are not good. Yeah

So back to old airliners here. Flying was pretty annoying back then, although the FID was better, they had a proper galley as opposed to a bathroom where you make your shrimp and mass data. It was a tiny increment here, you know? But you're still having trouble competing with like fast streamline trains

or like fast ocean liners, just because everything is, you know, it's still pretty slow. So we also have to talk about the DeHavilland company. Yeah. This one's cool. Yeah. It's like, we won the war with wood. You like that?

You like that? Yeah. Yeah. Wood and wood glue. I mean, these are some of my favorite aircraft of World War II. If you go up and Britain, you've got to have a favorite British aircraft of World War II. Right. If you say Avro Lancaster, you're a war criminal.

If you say Spitfire, you're unimaginative. I was going to say Hurricane. I was going to say Hurricane, you were a tryhard. And if you say Mosquito, it, then you're serious, you know? Oh, man. It's, yeah, I guess I'd be a decent more criminal. It looks really good. The Avro Lancaster does, in fans.

At some point, we're going to have to do the mysterious disappearances of that BSAA, like Lancasterian, which is the airliner, conversion of a Lancaster. Fucking what now? We will get to that. But yeah, the Mosquito, it's great. It's fantastic. It's so fast. It's so maneuverable.

And yeah, we won the war and the Germans lost. And you could do like really like precision bombing with this stuff because it's like low and you fly low and fast. And we bombed one wall of the like Nazi prison to like facilitate the escape of French resistance prisoners and it sort of worked is how good this thing was So this company was founded by founded by Jeff the Albatross now and it's just like God this thing. It's it looks like a turd I love it. Yeah, go

ahead, Rod. Sorry. This thing was founded by Jeffrey DeHavilland in 1920 and Edgeware later moved to Hatfield, both are them in England, right? Oh, not half the puzzle. No. They made biplanes for a while, but they really took off the snare plane company, they took off. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you watch Caffeine. In World War II, right? They make their planes out of wood. So shown here is the DH98 mosquito that everyone's been, you know,

raven for here. Yeah. And this was sort of multi-roll aircraft, like the F-35, but unlike the F-35, it worked, right? I look at you. It's a fly upside down in the rain. It's a fighter bomber. It does photo reconnaissance. It can zip in and out of place. It could do a whole bunch of shit, right? Fantastic. We made an early jet, an early fighter jet off of this airframe, the vampire, which is again, fantastic. And yeah, for a while, there's a... I don't know why they used to it.

No, truly. But there was a period in British aeronautical history where we were combining like wood glue and jet engines. How you would get to that. Oh, yeah. Yeah, baby. get to that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're making making the shit out of wood specifically balsa wood. I mean, it's it's surprisingly strong in a lot of ways to matter. This is my bottle airplane. This is my real airplane. It's really light. It's fine if you don't step on it in a wrong place. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so long as you have a step on it and so in the wrong place or set it on fire, it's actually remarkably resilient because you can shoot holes straight through it because

Canon rounds a design to like, you know, destroy steel, like structural steel and instead or aluminium and instead they just like go straight through because it's too light. Yeah, I mean, possibly surprisingly good. It's a good type of wood. It's good for anything that needs to be lightweight. And you think about it sometimes, maybe you did some like, I don't know, some kind of like model railroad project and a long time ago, and it's like, I had some crappy wood. No, it's actually really good for like these big structural applications.

But again, don't step on it in a wrong place. It's sort of like thin shell concrete in that way. It's like you know for an experience, hot shot. So in high school, when I was rowing, we had a few balsa wood boats. And there were very, very clearly marked areas where you could step. I mean, it was the same with the fiberglass boats, but the balsa wood boats, you had no margin for error. Your foot would go through. But the Balsa wood boats you had no margin for error your foot would go through

You really got to take those no-step decals seriously, you know So we also have to talk about the turbo jet Development of the jet engine, right? So your jet engine is simple and principle, right? The air goes in the fuel goes in Ignited somehow it goes boom thrust comes out the other end. Yeah, it's a suck squeeze bang blow No, that is a four stroke piston engine close enough same principle Yeah, whatever here the suck the squeeze in the bang and the blow happen simultaneously Just like I like it. Yes, I like to be confused while I'm doing the nasty. So there's a really.

No, the situation way either just like. It's a really simple type of jet engine called the pulse jet. That was one of the earliest ones, which is basically you have a combustion chamber like and air goes in. There's a spark plug. You add fuel. It goes, boom, it goes at the other end. Sometimes there's a valve body here that lets air in only one way.

Sometimes you have clever geometries so that the air only comes in. So on and so forth, these pulse jets are very simple. They were viable by like the 1910s, you know, and, and so they're very loud and very fuel hungry though, right? This makes them not very good for aviation. You know, in terms of like mass applications for aviation, the Germans put them on the V1 flying bomb, but that was about it. You know, because those only have to go one way.

Yeah. And it's a disposable thing. Yeah. Something had to be done to make the jet engine more efficient for it to be good for aircraft. That's increasing the compression ratio, which means you can use less fuel for the same amount of thrust. So this RAF cadet named Frank Whittle comes up with the idea of the turbojet. Classic, classic British guy is Frank Whistle.

Yeah. Nuts. This is the thing. There used to be a space. There used to be a proper country for nerds. Now we privatize those nerds. Instead of staying in the military, the nerds work for Lockheed Martin or... They make that stuff. These have dolphins in this country. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, for dolphins. Yeah. Yeah, people, people wearing white coats and taking notes on a clipboard. Don't have that anymore. Working for IBM, doing all sorts of unspeakable war crimes.

Yeah. Cool. So the idea of the turbojet is, all right, we have a big compressor at the front of the jet engine, right? Compressure. Compressure. Compressure. Compressure. Yes, it compresses the air before it's

combusted in the combustion chamber. Right. And so the exhaust from that and the thrust then turns a turbine in the back. And that turbine turns the compressor. I kind of liked it as a species. We haven't gotten past like spin thing, spin thing hard. Spin turbine, spin turbine.

Spin thing. Yeah, yeah, spin thing works very good in many contexts. Because linear thing is much more difficult. Right. And it feeds itself, so-so. As long as you have airflow through the engine and the engine. Once you get the thing started, it keeps going. In fact, the prototype that Whittle came up with

was so good at it that when they shut off the fuel that kept going, because it turned out there was a little bit of residual fuel that had leaped in before. They couldn't find it. They actually everyone had to leave the room because it spun out of control. Oh, yeah.

They thought it was going to blow up until it spun out of control. Oh, yeah, I thought it was gonna blow up Until it ran out of fuel properly The engine that works too well. Yes, accidentally created a perpetual motion machine But the thing is the British government wasn't interested which led to the Germans developing the idea instead culminates in the Messerschmitt ME262 which, which I figured the military nerds can talk about. The ME262 Schvalver, yes, I had an FX model of it. It was surprisingly effective. A lot of the pilots went on to transition to the post-Nazi Luftwaffe and... Post-Nazi, it's serious quotes. Yeah, and fly stuff.

What a hormones scene for that. Yeah. LAUGHTER Oh, this is already going to be an Alzheimer. I saw the thing that said, some military nerd will talk about this. And I'm like, you, you have me on the podcast, we work together for a number of years. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. I was, I was, I was being all bleak about it. She's on the, she's on the idea. I'll fuck it up. Yeah.

Real question facing aircraft manufacturers after the war was, can turbo jets be adopted for passenger planes? Right? Um, the Emmy 26 Hard to get into the picture of just a, it's just a picture of a fucking ski doubt. Yeah. The M260 was absurdly fast, very high performance for the day, be a great advantage in a competitive transportation market. So, the same problem was the F104. It's an interceptor.

It's designed to come up, meet these big American formations of bombers that are wiping, dressed and off the map, shoot a couple of them down and then land. And then loose and then lose the war. Yes, also largely because it was like built with slave labor and so on and so forth. Yeah, fuck you Nazis. Yeah, exactly. We're out here with a controversial opinion. Nazi is bad. Yeah, I break into new ground, baby.

opinion, that's is bad. That's right. I'm breaking new ground, baby. But yeah, obviously the sort of like, F-Rame that is very good at like taking off quickly from like doodled off or whatever and getting into a combat box of B17s and then getting back down is not very good at getting you from New York to Los Angeles. Yeah, and there's two, there's two big problems here, which is one the fuel consumption, right?

It's good for, you know, going out, coming back real quick. So you got to work on that, but the other one is these things were very unreliable. And that's on account of the turbine back here, right, which is exposed to these very, very hot temperatures for a long period of time from the exhaust gases, right? Massey turbine. I mean, we're sort of like cutting off Germany from all of it's like strategic metals. You don't have shit in the way of like titanium or whatever, you know, and you're again building it with slaves because you're a Nazi.

It's not even, not even titanium at that point. It's just, you know, very, very high temperature steel is what you use for this sort of what they call the super alloys, but yeah, so these high temperatures accelerate something called creep, right? And creep is when this is when a material tends to deform slowly under mechanical stress, right? So, you know, if you have, I don't know, let's say like a chain with a heavy weight on it and you leave it there for five years, it will get a little bit longer, right? Now, if you have a turbine blame that's spinning rapidly and you expose it to very high heat, those forces will cause it to lengthen and get thinner and eventually snap off.

So these jet engines that the Nazis developed, because they're using conventional steel for them, a lot of times you had to replace the turbine blades like every 20 hours of service. Oh, Nazi Germany. When will you develop a single piece of war material that doesn't require one extremely complicated part that has to be replaced? And it takes like a hundred hours to manufacture every six hours. There's one factory that makes it is getting bombed by the Allies every day. Yeah, you know, you like it. Yeah. The more you read about German engineering, the more you realize, this is all a propaganda effort.

Yes. Yeah. It's we, oh shit, we overengineered another thing in a way that's going to be very useful for the Allies to like slot into their production lines when the war ends. Yeah. Thanks, assholes. Yeah. Thanks, assholes.

Yeah, just kind of doing like the US and Russia and to an extent the UK and France, like bigger and bigger favors as you're trying to fight them. Yeah. So in order to make this thing practical for a commercial airline or you'd need new high-temperature alloys, now there was something in Britain called the the Brabazon Committee, right?

What the hell? Back when guys had used to have cool names. Yeah. And back when Britain used to have a steel industry. Yeah. So after the, after the war ended, they decided, all right, in the interest of maintaining British Empire, uh, fucked a lot. Didn't, didn't mark. Yeah. The Suez crisis not turning it out I'll start a guy for you. Well, huh? Yeah. British aviation companies had to develop an airliner capable of crossing the Atlantic in

one go with one ton of mail at 400 miles an hour. Oh my God. They did the America bomber. Basically, yes. Yeah. The America bomber had to come back to. Yeah, difficult to refuel the America bomber in New York. How okay? They were a little German American, not too sympathized, but you can't

land the plane there and have not got so much you can secure Teter borough and have it land there. So two companies bit here. One was Vickers, which developed a large turbo prop airliner called the Viscount. And the turbo prop is like, okay, you have the same turbine here, but rather than all of that turning, all of that creating exhaust thrust, you use the rotational force to drive a propeller. Yeah, the Vycat looks goofy as hell, by the way. Yeah, yeah. And so in solving,

that we're not even gonna put a foe. Not even putting a photo. Imagine the horrors in your own. Yeah, Vycat's land. Yeah, but the other company, the other company, the Havelin said, how hard can it be? Yeah, and this is weird because you're transitioning through like sort of fighter bombers

and like reconnaissance aircraft. And the muskis is quite small. The vampire, it's even cooler success of the venom, quite small. And you're going, okay, from that, I'm gonna build like a full size airliner. What kind of hormones do you need for that? It's a big ones.

I'm gonna keep saying that. Anyway, it's gonna be funny every time. It is actually pretty funny. Yeah, so they say, okay. It's a lot of fun. Yeah, we're gonna build a jet airliner, right? So this is one of the, I forget this is the prototype of the first production

to have a land comet. How they just, they scaled up Mosquito and they stretched it. It's got the same nose kind of. Yeah, I mean, you got to build on stuff you did before. There was a lot of design process. I did not put into the slides I probably should have. But this was, they were starting with trying to build something very small.

And then as they developed a design that just kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger and it got surprisingly great. The biggest design was the most practical one. I like the bare metal, by the way, very chest age. Huge, half of that. So this is gonna be the sleek modern aircraft for the jet age.

It's gonna have four powerful jet engines. They're buried in the wings as opposed to on pods like you have now. Yeah, this reduces drag. It has lots of speed, lots of range. It has these large picture windows. So you can take in the scenery. It's a luxurious. It's a it's a point of competition with the ViCount because one thing

the ViCount does have is big windows. Yeah. It has a luxurious cabin. It has a bar. And it has optional rocket attachments for short takeoff and landing at high altitudes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Put this in, put this in TNO. I want to see these being used to rescue British hostages from Tehran landing in the stadium. No, all of the rocket assist to take off stuff, fucking whips. We talked about that on the stuff, I took a bit too. It's cool. It's objectively cool. Sorry. I don't think they ever wound up using them because it turned out ahead enough power to take off on its own, but you could get them if you wanted. So to have a lend was completely vertically integrated because we hadn't figured out all the

weird financial tricks you can do with a lot of fake subsidiaries. You didn't need to. The British aircraft industry was like immediately post post war, which meant that we had like five or six of the fuckers like Super Marine and Avro that we didn't need that we're going to have to like find something to do like this. And which all for like resilience is sake all built everything in house. Yeah. So they build the fuselage, they build the wings, they build the landing gear, they build everything except the engines. Which are from... Please say Rolls-Royce right now. Rolls-Royce.

Yeah! Alright, triumph of like post-World British engineering, let's do it. Ignore the fact that it says, You deserve Whitney up here. You deserve Whitney up here. Listen, listen, Pratt and Whitney are for shit. Give me a Rolls-Royce any day of the week. So this is the Rolls-Roycece Avan, name for the River Avan.

All the Cosmetics company, the mobile level marketing scam. This engine is still in production as a stationary turbine. Yeah, British equivalent to the Soyuz, you know, you do it once, you do it right, and if it still works, you keep making it. Exactly. This is it. This is the pinnacle of British superiority in engineering. That's right, kind of.

This is the high horse market in a lot of ways. After this, the decline. Yeah, because you had the British steel industry was one of the greatest in the world. They had the ability to produce the super alloys, right? The high performance steels, which could resist creep for hundreds or thousands of hours, right? And this engine, yeah, this engine was what was going to make the D'Avalent comet possible, right?

Each of these guys, they were originally designed to produce, I think, 6,500 pounds of force, but they were operated gradually to 7,300 pounds and then later 10,000 pounds of force. They sipped a fuel at a very low rate for the time because they had very high compression ratios. So this is this is the engine that was going to make Britain dominate aviation forever, right? Yeah, we're gonna get it early on this like post-war like post-war consensus ship. We're gonna win the Cold War. Everybody's gonna be sipping tea. Yeah like post-war consensus ship. We're going to win the Cold War. Everybody is going to be sipping tea. Yeah. Exactly. Well, as evidenced by the fact that I had a bunch of coffee this morning, that did not happen. Yeah, we're all buying your blue jeans and you're not listening to the

Beatles and drinking tea. Yeah. So this was designed, tested, and brought into production in only five years from 1945 to 1950. I can, you look at the stuff in this country now where it's like, can we do stuff? No. Did not at all. Can we do it in five years, 10 years? No. Compare this to fucking HS2 or whatever.

And yeah, okay, there's a difference in scale. But like, just philosophically, something has gone badly wrong. Yes. Now, with that in mind, since I drank a bunch of coffee, talk amongst yourselves while I use the restroom. Oh, yeah, of course. Okay, why are you just there? I've just done one of my favorite things, which is go to Etsy and look for stuff that is made out of stuff. And I have found someone who has made a like games table like for playing chess or backgammon or whatever on

out of the exhaust cone of a Rolls-Royce Aven. That is pretty fucking sick. The downside is that it costs 1,350 pounds and there's one of them in existence. All right, so here's the thing, right? Patrons, if you're listening to this, and if you're just listening to this, in your car, on your commute. Alice, what's your PayPal? It's paypal.me-slash-avazandum.

You can hit me over this. So, yeah, there's one guy on Etsy. Name's Dapper Aviation, DAPPR. There's one guy on Etsy, named Dapper Aviation, D-A-P-P-R, make stuff out of old salvaged aviation stuff, which is probably covered in benzene and horrible fire. Yeah, you're gonna melt it. You're gonna melt it. But if you want a coffee table

that's made out of a jet exhaust fan or a desk that's made out of the emergency exit door from a seeking, This is your guy, right? And I am a sucker for this kind of stuff. So please send me all of the money that you have. I will use it for this and I will have no regrets. I will drink my coffee on the coffee table that is giving me like benzene exposure. And you deserve to have the things you want. Yes, exactly. That's right.

That's right. I mean, some of this stuff, there's like a bowl made out of the wheel bearing of an Airbus A330. Like, that's crazy. It's cool. But like so much of this stuff, there's repurpose stuff. Because there's the military version of this that's like, oh, do you want a shot glass that's made out of like a 40 millimeter rifle grenade?

Yes, I do. And the answer is, yeah, of course I do, but I'm also slightly concerned about my like led and explosives consumption. All right, well, I know what I'm getting you as a like a late wedding present, as you're getting a set of 40 millimeter shot glasses. I'll take a, I'll take a moment.

I'm very, very out of sight. So thank you. We've been doing like Sky Mall in sort of multiple senses. I'll take up. I'll take up. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm have a Merry Christmas whether they want to or not. Went over the bathroom and I looked at the window and Aaron was like, oh my God, is there some kind of pachaliptic storm coming? No, it's just five o'clock. It's just that dark out now. You can see through the black. I live on a higher latitude than you. I live on a higher latitude than you. Yeah, but you do it voluntarily. That's why I, well, I live in the same latitude as some piece of book, I think, or like any

of the Canadian cities. Yeah, you're much higher than the Canadian cities, actually. Montreal is at the same latitude as Madrid, if I recall correctly. Jesus. The Canadians are pussy's about the cold, then, I guess. Oh, I don't, your pussy's about the heat, so everybody reminds me. Everyone's a pussy in their own way. I sure am. They put that on the like quote page.

You know, so ever edits our TV trucks except the one guy who was really mean about the stuff we got wrong in the Reinhold Messna Reinhold Messna is Zimbabwean. Yeah, they were mad at us about the Bradley fighting vehicle. Oh, that's yeah. We never we never claimed to be a factual program like top gear. This is a right to say new value only. Yeah Yeah, so Here we have a nice illustration and cutaway of the de Havel and Comet. You can say we have this

We have this nice compartment here with tables. We have the main compartment, which has the whopping 36 passengers. There's a galley, which is quite large, especially if you have modern standards. Men's toilet, women's toilet, men's dressing room, women's dressing room, they they they gendered the ad liner. Yes. I mean, I got a horror books, the idea for that. I mean, yes, it's like regressive, but it's kind of impressive that they had the space to do that.

You know, that they thought to do that. It's very, very weird to like look at this airliner and do the pentagon thing. If you know, this was actually designed twice as many bathrooms as it needed to. Yes, exactly. This was actually designed twice as many bathrooms as it needed to. Yes, exactly. So yeah, it was very luxurious. Airlines was very much built in the old way of, you know, we're, we're, you know, you're going to have a big seat and you're going to relax for a while. We take you through 35 different airports to do what would now be a nonstop flight.

We're obviously like to eat the side. Also, beautiful, beautiful aircraft, but especially so with the like black cockpits around, I always think this. Anytime you give a play in the black cockpits around, I'm like, love this. We got to bring back the cheat stripe, I believe it's what that's called. Is that, I thought the cheat stripe was just down the side. Well, it's a cheat stripe.

Okay, yeah, so I don't know what it's called in the front. If you know what this is called, was just down the side. It's okay. Yeah. So I don't know what it's called in the front. If you know what, this is cold, sound off in the comments. Please break right into the right. I'm sorry. I want to make a little model of this. I want to get back in there.

And then also buy the kids gifts. I'm not going to stop plugging this one. I'm going to buy the kids like 500 FX to have a lot of comments. But ever you've got to stick it, sticking like wings to each other and shit. There's got they're going to be like swallowing paint. I'd yeah, we're going to give the kids a shit load of testers model airplane glue. Oh yeah, I also if you're still listening, if you haven't turned this one off, actually, that's a solid question. What's the like age range of toys that you want? The age range is literally zero to 18. All right, well, to have a little comment, it is.

You're going to have a palette for a little bit. You can also have a palette. That's fine. You can also email our Walker, W-A-L-K-E-R, at lsh filly.org. If you want to buy gift cards, that's for the the older kids because no one knows what to get older kids with you all right with that have a lot of comments Model kids if you and if it's a bite the havelin model comic kit some kid out there is gonna be have a very very Fudge now see this is the thing now now I I can't do it because what I've done is I've done the piece thing again

This is this is something that happened with trash future where So the boys were in a weather spoons, a chain pub without me. And they're like, Hey, we're at this table and the weather spoons did this thing where you're like, if you put in the table number, you can just order online and you can do this remotely. And I thought, okay, you know what, you can just do this remotely. Everybody get them. The single funniest thing on the menu, which is, as it turned out, like a bowl of peas. And so many people did this because I underestimated my own reach that the chef came out of the kitchen and got mad at them and like cut them off because they weren't going to make them a hundred bowls of peas.

So you got to work out amongst yourselves how many of you are sending to Haveland, Comet, model kits to Lutheran Sullivan House or pick like diversify your model kits. Hurtjus says a little bit. We're going to single handedly save the Revell model company. I don't know if they're in dire straits or anything, but I, you know, it's kind of like, okay, give me every to have a little comedy. I look forward to Lutheran settlement house and the kids opening their various friends on Christmas. Every kid has to take one. I was giving out ice cream bars today because we had to

we had to change the shit that was in the freezer and I'm like boy stig cookie dough ice cream bars on people coming into the like food pantry and they're like oh like yeah I was like yeah we have canned goods and we have produce and all that stuff and also I need you to take a pack of these ice cream bars and people are just like what I'm like I need you to take a pack of these ice cream bars. And people are just like, what? I'm like, I need you to take these. And what about, the food pantry will be full of tehevlin comments. Yeah.

Listen, I know this is leading to a future in which I'm confronted with a photo of you surrounded by a bunch of kids with a startling number of D'Havilland comment model kids. And I just... I know what I'm doing and I just... I wish I could say I regress it, but I don't. I also want to say, the most important program we do since we're just going to go

wildly off topic is we do since we're just going to go wild the off topic. Yeah. Is we do counseling for children who have witnessed domestic violence. And a bunch of you have bought stuff for the children's therapy program. And I'm going to cry. Thank you. It's really sweet. Now, you know what would cheer up any child and really do our circumstances. Yes. The model kit of the Haveland car.

Why? What I have to, what I have to, because the presence going to be, like I work at, like the presence going to be, I have to inventory them. And I look forward to just be like, you fucking people, you fucking people, you fucking people. There's 27 to Haveland car, they all say, yay, Liam on them. That sounds like a low cost airline. Yay, Liam. He's through superior mariment.

Yeah. So speaking of models of the comment, we have to talk about the construction of the havelin comment, right? Boy. So the havelin was, of course, not going to build this airliner out of wood, right? Baaah!

It won the war! Well, that doesn't mean... That doesn't mean... That doesn't mean... It wasn't like, it won the war. Fuck off, that was... Yeah, please. Yeah, you toss away people like the lippily.

No worries. This doesn't mean they weren't influenced by their earlier wooden designs, right? This was going to be a composite aircraft. What is that noise? That's milkshake. I'm milkshake. I'm milkshake. I ran away. Oh, but yeah. Oh no, he's he's found something to play with. Hi, it's Justin. So this is a commercial for the podcast that you're already listening to. People are annoyed by these, so let me get to the point.

We have this thing called Patreon, right? The deal is you give us two bucks a month and we give you an extra episode once a month. Sometimes it's a little inconsistent, but you know, it's two bucks to get what you pay for. It also gets you our full back catalog of bonus episodes, so you can learn about exciting topics like guns, pickup trucks, or pickup trucks with guns on them. The money we raise through Patreon goes to making sure that the only ad you hear on this podcast is this one. Anyway, that's something to consider if you have two bucks to spare each month.

Join at patreon.com forward slash WTYP pod. Do it if you want. Or don't, it's your decision and we respect that. Back to the show. Much of the aircraft was actually made of new plastics and polymers, various new weight, lightweight alloys, fiber glasses, so on and so forth. Only the skin was entirely metal. You know, because this whole thing is sort of an experimental exercise in building this jet aircraft, this pressurized aircraft, so on and so forth.

No one had built a pressurized cab in this big before. And to ring the maximum performance out of the aircraft, it had to be both extremely light weight and extremely strong, which meant some new construction techniques also taken to account. You are bonding different materials to each other a lot of the time. Okay. So, Oh boy. Yeah.

Listen, you can take the wood away, you can't take the wood away. Yeah, I'm never. Oh, there's a bunch of welds and stuff because the airplane's made of metal. No, it's glue, it's all glue. It's a save, save, save, save, save, save, save, save, save, save, save, save, save, save, save, save, you got a million different plastics, polymers, fiberglasses,

metals, other materials materials you need glue glue I maybe would bolt stuff together or weld stuff now okay saves weight Blue I mean you don't get that beautiful like curvaceous airframe without just gluing shit together, right? Yeah So the glue used on this aircraft was called redux, right cool, which stands for research at Duxford Huh, Duxford is where the abit of the Imperial Wool Museums on now. Yes. Oh, it's a good. It's a good time And it's I didn't bother to look up how the chemistry works here. It's a boy Yourself, it's a phenol for a mild to hide resin

Which imagine a bunch of benzene stuck together and like randomly in three day And then it's like some kind of poly vinyl thing that's a separate part and they come together you put them in And then you have to be careful elevated temperatures and pressures for a long period of time I have no fucking clue how they autoclave the whole airplane, but apparently they did it. Oh, two answers. One, either the biggest like oven hanger in the world or a bunch of guys with heat guns. Yeah, it's probably actually the second one. Yeah. I like the first one better. Just put it through the like the hot hanger. Fun fact is a lot of new airplanes are also built like this.

Yeah. So it's all glue. There's a lot of glue involved. Yeah. FX was telling me the truth all along. Yeah. Glue. Think about that the next time you're on a transatlantic flight and you're like,

about, um, I don't know. Return to ocean. Why does God damn 1500 miles from land? Yeah, it's glue. you're on a transatlantic flight and you're like, uh, about, um, I don't know. 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, few cases of you having to swim the Atlantic. So clearly, the like blues brought this great marina poxie that holds up. Yeah, I mean, the glue is actually pretty good as the thing. That's what you ultimately have to admit. You know, you can come into this with a skeptical mind. You can say how

can you put anything together with glue and then you look at the air plane safety record and you're like, well, count the ranks, I guess it works. Just like a really like a low rent alkyda plot to like get on a transatlantic plane with a heat gun. Try to melt it, sir. Can you please return to your sip one minute, please? You have like a bunch of the like modeling debondor and you're just like throwing it around, hoping the plane falls apart in mid air. What the hell is the wattage on the outlet on the plane? That's what I want to know. Well, so too, does the guy who's cooking shrimp in the bathroom? Oh, that was a bad, I was about to say. I mean, you know, you got to think, if you hooked

up enough heat guns to the outlets, the engines wouldn't be able to provide enough power and the plane would fall. That's how that works. We're going to have the kind of like mythbusters budgets that test this stuff. I was about to say, yeah, up those patriarch donations donations. You just give us money to do whatever we want. This is basically like spiritually, that's what I want them to understand. They are so they stop complaining about bonus episodes. Yeah, bring us, bring us the highest wattage electrical appliances you have. We'll put them on an airplane and see what happens. Yeah, I fly American and I'm going to test that out, that always to stay out. Sir, you can't bring the arc welder on the plane. Look at the brain, boy, look at the

brain, boy, too. You kind of have this, if you ever go through, if you ever look at the brain, boy! Look at the brain, boy. Light. You kind of have this if you ever go through it. If you ever look at the terms and conditions on an airline's website or on the back of one of those signs, it's like, here's all the shit you can't bring on the plane. Don't say we didn't warn you. Some of it is just like, yeah, you can't bring your, like, obviously you can't bring your loaded firearm. You can't bring your like live biological samples.

You can't bring your arc welder. Just in case you had a nuclear weapon, you probably shouldn't bring your like live biological samples. You can't bring your arc welder. In case you had a nuclear weapon, you probably shouldn't bring that either. Yeah, I'm sure you'd travel with my basement nuke. If they didn't want me to bring in the arc welder onto the plane, why'd they put a harbor freight in the airport terminal? That's a good question. Ask the real question. The airport harbor freight almost is expensive. It's on depot my god. So this glue is supplemented at many points with pop rivets, right?

Especially around the windows. He's one location high bother. Yeah, this fucking gluing who gives a shit. This thing's going down and smoke anyway. Yeah. Now the comet is engineered for the whole of British Empire, which means it's needed to cope with a wide variety of climates, and it needed to cope with those climates changing rapidly, right?

Because you might have a flattened London to Karachi, although most likely that'd be London to Rome, to Cairo to Karachi. I think maybe Bahrainia'd stop as well. I will get to that later. Either way you're like sitting out on a Tomat for like eight hours refueling. Getting really, really hot and then going up in the air and getting really, really cold. Right? So all these glued together parts still had to work cohesively as the plane expanded and contracted from thermal effects. Right? It had to do this for several tens of thousands of times. All while it had to hold pressure

and the pressure changes, of course, because you pressurize, you depressurize, you depressurize, you depressurize. Before the plane reached the end of its lifespan, right? You have a lot of cyclical loading here. You know, and these loads aren't crazy, heavy loads. They just happen lots and lots and lots of times. Yeah, gotcha.

So, she's a few. She's so pretty. The kind of plane that makes you want to use the she her for an ounce for it. Yes. What kind of hormones do you need for that? Not that. Eastrogen.

Yeah, actually, I sexually identify as a 1950s airliner. I might start to be honest. So about Twitter already does. I have a lot of like 1960s flight attendant looking women inside me. God. Damn it. Yeah, that's pretty good though. That's pretty good. It's right over this episode's for the kids. I'm going to have a little in time. That's right. This episodes for the kids. I'm going to have a little time.

Yeah. Yeah. Hi, anyone I work with, uh, sorry, please don't fire me. In no way they're lasting this long. You're fine. No, no. Oh, one of my coworkers is like, yeah, when you first started volunteering here, I listened to a couple episodes. It was pretty funny. I'm like, you don't need a lot of me. Any any any time any time I talk to anyone about this, like my tattoo artist or my driving instructor and they're like, Oh, yeah, I have to check that out. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Hey, great job with the Havelin comment. I'm running. I'm jumping out of window. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If that happens in a driving lesson I just pop the door like a 20 and just like right right. Well, I the thing is hi mom. Hi dad You know that they get all their friends solicited to it and my mom's like oh all my friends think your podcast is so funny And it's just like these are very serious people with very serious jobs I'm just here like dick jokes dick jokes poop, poop jokes, poop jokes, poop jokes. But like, you know, what are you going to do? What are you going to do?

This episode's for the kids. Yeah. Very, very earnest discussions of making like a children's Christmas because they didn't have anything before. And we're going to save Christmas for a bunch of people. Dessert in between jokes about cop. Yeah. It's like Wu Tang clan.

Well, there's your problem is for the children. So, you know what, it's fine. It's fine. Keep it going. So, the comment one was introduced in 1952 with some modifications from the original design. It's going to be a stupid question. But what are the red things on the engine covers? You got to comment the answer to make sure that shit doesn't get into it.

Right. Yeah. And yeah, so you don't like build a wasps nest in there. It's something which you can crash the plane with. Uh, the plane has a bunch of orifices for like engines and pitot tubes and stuff. And if stuff gets into them and blocks them like ice or wasps or whatever the fuck, then it can be really bad. So you got to keep a little cover over them. Yeah, you got to get a deliver the plane with all holes filled. Yeah, so anyway. For the children. The comment one was introduced 1952, but they had to make some modifications from

the original design, right? The Rolls Royce Avons weren't available yet. They were still in development. Let's go. Some things in this country are mine in the same. Yeah, so older to have a limb to ghost engines. Oh, for right. Cool name. Yeah. Is it because of ghosts because it doesn't show up when you needed to?

No, that was the Avan. The ghost was actually right there waiting. I'm gonna, oh, I'm gonna play you. So in order to compensate for this, the already very late comment one was therefore lightened further to lessen the performance hit. I love aeronautics. Yes. I love aerodynamics. I love the play and that is so light and so beautiful this like Cannot be handled except by the the delicate touch for lesbian You could probably lift this thing with six guys

Just turn around like a fiat The launch customers were British overseas aerospace corporation. Air France and Union era maritime to transport. Oh, you killed that, buddy. That's also French. I like that France, France's aircraft industry is still fucked at this point, so we're making them by British. Yeah. And how much did they resent that? Oh, we painted a battle of action core on the side of all these

So here it is looking very pretty on the tarmac. Yeah Here's a cockpit No, no, no, that looks pretty in a different way and to me this this contains a distinct Unmistakable transgender vibe and I'm not sure how. It's very difficult to explain. But yeah, I don't know. It's very, very sleek and on the outside and then on the inside it's like a bunch of almost Soviet looking industrial controls that are like really tactile. This is the autism powering me when the outside looks like the outside of the halftime. Yes. This is a very cool looking cockpit. I mean, okay, this is back when you had a pilot,

you had a co-pilot, you had a flight engineer, and you had an navigator. I see the little navigator's table. The cha is the shape of the cha's. Yeah. It's because this is back before everyone got fat. Oh, you'll get your corn substance and like it. Yeah, exactly. I just added this picture in here. I don't have anything to say other than it looks cool. I think it's really cool. The visibility is for shit.

Like really small windowpains. But again, I like the way that looks. I think that's very pretty. There's only since it's 1950. You know, you have a pilot in the cold pilot so that when you're not drinking martinis, the other guy can take over. Yeah. One guy goes back to like sexually abuse the like flight of the cabin crew and exactly like you slaying and drinking. Look, we need this to stay calm and collected. Okay. Shoot it down. The like Okay. Shoot it down. Like, like, like, Mill, MIA style fans just poking out of the kind of like blanket roof up whole story. Oh, yeah. I love a fan. You can stick your finger in and it gets chopped off. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Hey, you know what I'm going to do with your intake fans and your case that you probably don't clean. So, Ross, anyway. Anyway. The launch of the comet is marred by a few early incidents. Right. Useful, beautiful BOAC livery. Yeah.

With the cheat line. Yes, with the cheat line. Yeah. So the first one was on the 26th of October, 1952. This is BOAC flight 115 from London to Johannesburg, right? And it made several stopovers, including Rome, Chiampino, international airport. I think it's Chiampino. Is it C-Pino? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Let's stick with stick with champino that because we're going to talk about it a couple more times. So European hub.

Yes, it was the big, the big Rome airport. Now, it only had one runway, but it was the big Rome airport. It's supposed to Leonardo da Vinci now, which is just a surreal space. So anyway, at Rome, Champino International Airport, they were on takeoff and they pulled the nose back and they pulled a little bit back too far and it went into something that was like a stall, right? They aborted the takeoff, the plane skidded to the end of the runway, the landing gear got taken off by a big mound of dirt, and they sort of came to a halt, right? And then this resulted in no fatalities, but they wrote off the aircraft.

I see. Just like a cool frightening time. Yes. This was likely caused by pilot error, because one of the things was you were developing training programs. So the first jet airliner, no one had flown this. Most people had not flown a jet airplane before. This thing came out. So you know, yeah, yeah, exactly. So if you flown like bombers in the war, which gives you like the best sort of flying time and like a sort of like size airframe. You're used to like flying over, you know, Munich or whatever while you try and create like an incendiary firestorm.

And now you have like a jet aircraft that weighs nothing. In March 3rd, 1953, Canadian Pacific Airlines. What? Huh. The railroad? The railroad, yes. Oh, yeah. This is a train. Canadian Pacific Airlines lasted surprisingly long. They had 747s and everything. They also had the cool Canadian Pacific

multi mark on the tail. They look really good. They're good looking, they're good looking planes. This is like a plane look bad when the plane is this, but yeah, so it looks really nice. Yeah, so Canadian Pacific Airlines was doing a delivery flight. I think they were getting their first comet. It was going to be called Empress of Hawaii. And this was due to fly a route between Sydney and Honolulu. So it was being delivered, but they still had a couple of paying passengers on. And they took off at Karachi Airport, which was another really big important airport at the time. They took off, they rotated back too quick, they started to stall,

and then they pitched back down and they couldn't stop it, and they went off the end of the runways, slid down an embankment into a a drainage canal killing five crew and six passengers. Yeah. Yeah. Hard plane to fly then or hard plane to take off. Yes. Canadian Pacific Airlines canceled their order for another aircraft at that point. This is also likely pilot error, but by this time it was clear this plane is just difficult to fly on takeoff, right? So to have Lynn decides we're to make some alterations

They adjust the wing profile so it's harder to stall easier control during takeoff They make all these corrections everyone's happy There's another comet that crashes in a storm near Calcutta on May 2nd 1953, but that's a sudden squall that appeared out of nowhere. And back then it was like, oh, well, you know, the plane crash and weather, that's normal. Yeah, for sure. That's fine. A single drop of rain has had it fine right the whole thing off. This is a quite nasty storm that appeared out of nowhere. So so I'm gonna say, all right, this is a fine safe airplane until the big wrecks, the big inexplicable ones. Do I have to see what your local medical examiner dies strangely?

Yes. British overseas aerospace corporation flight 781. I was forget which one. The OAC flight 781. They're flying from Singapore to London by way of Bangkok, Rangoon, Calcutta, Karachi, Bahrain, Beirut and Rome. Fuck all that. That's what I see. I I get scared having to take more than a direct flight because that's more than once in the scary tube that pitches up really hard and you're're expecting me to do, well, one, two, three, four, five, six, six takeoffs in this thing. Oh, you know, it's, uh, people hadn't realized the planes are better when they don't make so many stops yet. Um, guess so. And I guess the other thing too, is it sounds like quite a nice

itinerary. If you imagine that you, you know, get to go to Rangoon or Beirut, but instead you just sit in the plane. I don't know if I'd want to go to Bahrain. Or in the lobby in Karachi, drinking while they refuel the plane. I hang out in colonial Karachi. in colonial Karachi. Yeah, you know, a bunch of guys and khakis hanging out. That's the only hats, yes. Yeah, you can just talk about all the atrocities you did. And I mean, recent atrocities,

because this is, you know, like early 50s, like partition is not even a decade past. Oh yeah. So this plane was the first production comet. And it takes off on its final leg from Rome, Chiampino to London on the 10th of January, 1954. It reaches altitude and it blows up. Just blows up.

Just blows up. Just blows up. And I mean, 1954, terrorism hadn't been invented yet. I didn't have that. It was just called warfare back then. It was just called that was just called warfare back. It's called CIA. Yeah. Yeah.

I barely had the CIA. It's true. They were still doing glad. I don't worry. Oh, that's just true. Yeah. So, you know, this blows up. It killed everyone on board.

There's no black box recorder at this time, right? When did those get invented? Do we have a date on that? It's a good question. One that I will Google right now. We do our research on this Well, there's a problem extended universe. We're very very highly researched podcasts with original ideas. H. Bomber guy, do not make a four hour video about us. Yeah, the children. That's right. We're the children of the children.

And Gareth has a family. I, please, the fact that we turn Wikipedia articles into, it's a transformative work. God, please. Speaking of that, I was able to, with somebody donated, able to buy two LEGO Star Wars BoboFet starships. Oh, maybe you make too much money. So it was first designed in 1939 by a guy called Froswap Usano.

And he called it the Usano Graph. Of course he did. Then it was independently invented in the UK during World War II, independently reinvented in 1942 in Finland, independently reinvented again in America in 1943, independently reinvented again in 1953 in Australia. How many fucking times do we have to invent this fucking thing? It's just like the calculus.

The calculus. Invented again in the US and patented in 1953. When did we find, there is no answer. It seems like every dickhead in the US and patented in 1953. When did we find there is no answer? It seems like every dickhead in the world has invented this at one time or another. I'm going to say this now. I have invented the app, the like aircraft cockpit data recorder. Yeah. And right, all best. There is from Zimbabwe.

That's right. Yeah. When you think about it, the Amazon Electra is Amazon, not Electra. Electra is a Lockheed product. The Amazon Alexa is sort of a black box. The Amazon Electra is the like home assistant that tries to like fuck its dad. The Amazon Electra would be a Lockheed Electra was another competing aircraft at this. Electro and Greek mythology is that the electric complex, kind of the female analog to edifice, because she fucked her dad. Shit is nasty.

That's weird that they have an aircraft called the Electra, but they don't have an aircraft called the edifice. Yeah. There once was a man named edifice Rex. You may have heard of his odd complex. Yes. So I know Tom Lair Sogs to asshole. Initially, initially, this was suspected to be a bomb that caused the explosion, right? And invented that yet, though. Yeah, they had a bomb guy who was just

out of the war who just like brought his bomb on board. Yeah, fun. Initially, you know, the popular suspicion was this was a bomb, right? But forensic investigation of the bodies proved something else. There was traumatic lung damage, indicated with everyone's lungs, like, eating popcorn. No, no, they've been smoking. This was back when men were men. That's another thing you got to remember about the the D'Avlin comment. You could smoke on this. Full of cigarette smoke. Yeah. So anyway, everyone's lungs had exploded. Yeah. I hope that doesn't happen to me. I don't. The plane had clearly decompressed very rapidly, right? But the cause of the decompression was uncertain.

Most of the aircraft was recovered by the Royal Navy, because it was in bits and pieces and it sort of ripped apart on contact with the ocean. Very light. But the actual cause of the aircraft accident could not be determined. But eventually, to have a land figured, okay, this was probably a throne turbine blade, right? So they created a design for uparmoring the turbine

housing to stop it from happening again. B O A C grounded their fleet until all the aircraft were retrofitted, all the aircraft were retrofitted, problems solved, right? Yeah, easy. Yeah. Oh, does it? Oh, no yeah easy. Yeah, oh, no until You're getting your money's worth like a lot of disasters for one I look at this old-school Shelby P truck. This is pretty. Oh, yeah, look at that. Yeah, lessering on that That's hand-lessed, too. Yeah, yeah, it's back when you know you had to actually go up there and paint you could paint your own font Yeah, you know how to paint Ross. Do you know how to paint, Ross?

Do I know how to paint? Yeah. I can do watercolors, but I'm pretty rusty on it. Oh, I don't know that. I've shown you the watercolors I did on study abroad in college. Oh, yes, you did. I'm sorry.

Yeah. I have a drinking problem. That's fine. We're for the children. Yeah. We're paying. South African Airways Flight 201. Oh. Oh,

spirit of alarmingly racist. Yes. On 8th of April, 1954, they were using a least B O A C comment on this flight would travel with intermediate stops from London to Johannesburg, which is very popular route apparently. Yeah, I bet it is. They took off from London and I went to Rome, Chiampino Airport, the airport that kills the Havelin Comets.

Yeah, it landed and they were delayed a full 25 hours there for some light repair work. Oh, fuck me, no. Get off the plane, dummies. I mean, I hope you they book you on the next plane And just everybody who's booked on this one missed it. But I Who knows? I mean back then I was like, okay, what's my alternative for getting to Johannesburg? Swim real slow. Yeah, take ocean liner. Take a steamer right exactly It's because I'm 25 hours at Rome Apple. Yeah, I was about to say Cecil Rhodes never finished Cape de Cairo Railroad. So, you know, this is a sneakably drunk on my layover, yeah.

This is your only option. So after being delayed for a full 25 hours at the airport, the plane took off from Rome, Chimpino and Rome, Chimpino mulched another comet. It disintegrated over the ocean about 70 miles west of Naples. Naples? No, Naples. Naples like sea Naples and die. Naples, I guess they did. Naples is very nice. I want to spend more time there. I've only been there for like six hours and that was go to the train museum. Very good train museum. Anyway, so the ocean was too deep here for a salvage operation. So it couldn't be conclusively determined what happened here.

But it was that deep, wasn't it? Apparently in this location it was. They did not recover any of the wreckage of this one to my knowledge. And the one guy who like brought his bomb on the plane got away with it? Well, sort of. Well, no, at this point it was starting to raise suspicion like, okay, why did these two planes just disintegrate for no apparent reason? Yeah. I assume they tried to figure out if the airport was malicious in some way, but eventually they had to move to scientific methods. They put the plane in jail.

They put the plane in plane jail. Yes. That does not look very error by now. Yeah. How do we figure out what went wrong with the plane is you build a huge fuck off water tank and test it. This was the Cohen committee named for Lurard Cohen, who I forgot to put his first name in the notes here. But essentially, there was some suspicion that,

okay, maybe there's some pressurization failures here. How do we find out if that is correct? Let's do full-scale testing. Incredible. Yeah. So, BOAC donated a whole airframe to the committee and They had what they called a water torture chamber built around the fuselage This being plain jail. This is plain jail. Yes, they let your wings stick out, but you're submerged Yeah, the test procedure was very simple the aircraft was filled with water and then submerged in water. The fuselage was then pressurized and then depressurized from 0 to 8.25 pounds per square

inch over and over and over and over again. It was observed by means of both mechanical stress gauges and something called an inverted periscope. Yeah, because normally when you use a periscope, you're under the water and the top of the periscope is above the water. But in this case, it was inverted. You use this telescope. Telescope.

So this was too. And they determined where and how stress fatigue affected the skipper. So this was too. And they determined where and how stress fatigue affected the airframe. As cracks formed in the airframe, they were monitored very closely, but they only had one airplane to work with. So when it was determined that they were nearing catastrophic failure, they actually drained the tank and the airplane went in and patched up the airplane.

Magnificent. Yeah. the tank and the airplane went in and patched up the airplane. Um, magnificent. Yeah. So they did 11,319 pressure cycles in the airplane jail. That's not a lot for aircraft, isn't it? Like, um, yeah, you had to think, um, if you're doing, I mean, you're doing the short hops, so you might be doing several pressure cycles a day. Um, you know, so it's not, it,. So it's probably a few years worth, but it's not like a huge amount, right? Yeah, that.

And this one had had 747 pressure cycles applied to it when it was in service, which were counted towards that number. And they observed nine cracks in total. Oh, that's not so good. There were seven on the windows, two at the port forward, escape hatch, and yeah. What you got to do, if you notice the crack opening before you, if you're on the comment where you got to get your drill, that you bought from the airport harbor freight in Rome,

and you got to drill a hole at each end of the crack, which will instantly depressurize the aircraft and kill you, but we'll stop the crack from spreading. Hold that thought to the next slide. Oh no. I hate when I anticipate shit so much. So the investigative concluded that when the cracks were big enough to observe, they were already 90% of the way to catastrophic failure When they were big enough to observe was when they were a quarter of an inch long And this was on an airframe which had no paint on it. So it was easier to look at the cracks, right?

Once you once you had that crack You had very rapid propagation afterwards Which was sometimes propagation afterwards, which was sometimes temporarily stopped from a rivet hole. Yeah. Why don't they make the whole plane out of the river holes? That's a good question. Well, no, it's not.

I know you wouldn't have a plane then. You just have a kind of a flying colander. Yeah. So these cracks usually propagated from why don't they make the whole plane out of the rivet holes and it flashes up the like like false correlation plane with all of the holes. Yeah, I was about to say, you wind up with a negative plane, like the anti-plane. Yeah. What happens when you hit an anti-plane with a plane?

This is a mirrored block through the legs. Yes. So, almost all of these cracks propagated from rivet holes instead of from the edge of the windows, which is something that is sort of in the popular conscious. We'll get to that. So if you had a crack that was from the outer row of rivets, it tended to propagate outwards, which was a big problem.

But if it was from the inner row of rivets, it went inwards and then stopped at the window. Yeah, because it runs out of the riverhole, all the window. There were some that propagated from one river hole to another and then they stopped for a while. Yeah. So yeah, you see this is a window corner here, which is a curve. This is an escape hatch corner here. That's another curve. You have the rivets shown here. The started line is the outline of the glue. Oh, it's sweet, gracious God. Now, they did all these pressure cycles and they tried to avoid doing a catastrophic failure

just to make sure that they could figure out what was going on. Eventually, it did happen. Yeah, this is at the forward escape hatch after 11,246 cycles. You have a kind of stable door effect where you can open the top and the bottom separately. Yes. And so, you know, obviously we have sort of a root cause here.

We can see that the airframe is failing a lot sooner than it should. What is the cause, though? And this is something called stress concentrations, right? So if you have materials under stress, they don't like sharp corners. You should make it less rigid and have fewer rise angles. Yeah, it's good to have curves. I personally feel this also. Yes. So under loading conditions, stress tends to build up in sharp corners. We built an airplane that's like feminine, but not curvy enough. We built a twink plane. Yeah. And so this could sort of increase loads on specific parts of a part very significantly. Right? So the twink plan is suffering from like

two intense loads. Yeah. What you're sort of looking at here is we're looking at stress lines here, right? And these are sort of a way to illustrate how forces distributed. I forget where I got this from. So I don't know how to credit it. H. Bomber guy, do not make a video about us. If nothing else, we could, you know, gloss houses about making four hour videos. Yeah.

So you can sort of see, this is a way to visualize how loads flow. You can see these lines get much closer around this corner, right? So you have an increase in stress around here. And what that means is even though the actual load here is whatever, right here in this specific location, it's three times whatever. in this specific location, it's three times whatever. And you can actually reduce this load just by changing the shape of the material or the part. Not even necessarily by adding material,

you can remove material and make a part stronger just by changing the shape. So yeah, stress concentrations are bad. Now on the comet, this was particularly bad because of how the rivets were designed. They were countersunk, right? So they're flush with the fuselage. You can see here, this is a cross-section

of a countersunk hole, right? A lot of times you do this for screws so that they're flush with the surface. This is not bad in and of itself, if it's done right, but when they put the rivets in, they did not drill the holes, they punched the holes. So there were like little flakes of metal in there. There's all kinds of these little places where you could,

you could opportunistically start a crack propagating from an existing little metal flake, right? These stress concentrations were greatly exaggerated by just the methodology here. The other thing they did go back to slides here this Redox joint the glue. Yeah, I decided they didn't need it Around the windows they forgot to put the glue on the plane. They forgot to put the glue on the glue plane. They didn't put the glue on. No. Damn it, dude. That's amazing. If nothing else, I want them to use like an excess of glue.

Like, I want the plane to be like sticky to the top. Yes. I just didn't use the glue. It's apparently probably fine. Turns out it was not fine. Yeah, so all these reinforcing panels around the windows and other holes in the fuselage were supposed to be glued on there. Instead, they were just riveted. So in these areas where they expected stress concentration, the material was rough and stronger.

It was weaker instead of stronger. Yes, and they had a lot of flaws. Yes. So there's a lot of extra. Yes. Yeah. So there's a lot of extra stress there where there should not have been. Now, simultaneous to these experiments being carried out, they had reconstructed most of BOAC flight 781. They still hadn't found the smoking gun that correlated the committee's findings. Is always can you take these like pieces of wreckage and reassemble them over the thing? And that's me is cool. Oh, this big, this big fuck off hangers they have for this.

Yeah, like the world's biggest and grimaced jigsaw puzzle. Yeah, yes. Sending the kids at Lutheran Sullivan House, the world's biggest and grimaced jigsaw puzzle. Oh, I always said the kids. Yeah, it was sent. Send the kids are real to have, Lynn'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. an Italian fishing boat picked out the forward roof of the aircraft, including the panel for the automatic direction finding equipment, which is a sort of radar thing. I don't remember what that is. Early also pilot stuff. So you could see this is an opening up here. You can see how the crack propagated from here and from up there and it turned out. We imagine that being your window.

It's not. It's on the top of the airplane. Oh, I see. Yeah. It's it's it's it's an opening, but it's not an opening that has glass in it. It has other crap in it. Yeah. Yeah.

As as some, yeah, automatic direction finding crap in it. Yeah So spinny antenna Exactly you can see the fatigue failure. It all added up. This was This was Metal fatigue that was greatly accelerated by the fact the plane was a little bit too lightly built Hmm all originating from the antenna that they also put on the plane to detect TV license evaders. Yes, and so this is determined to be the cause of the problem, is that the stress concentrations and the metal fatigue that happens very quickly. Now, what sort of

lodges in the popular conscious is something else entirely, which is square windows. Perfect little echo on that. I will not have the most beloved member of this podcast, landed. Activate Windows logo has done nothing wrong. A friend to us all, Trillie. Yeah, but this is the thing that you, like I thought this was going to be going in, which is when you noted the square windows I'm like oh damn square windows that that makes them much more vulnerable to like stress at the corners shortly and it does But you can engineer for that right A lot of folks say the problem with common one was the square windows as evidenced by the fact that the next iteration of the aircraft had round ones. And this is not entirely true.

The next iteration of the aircraft also had several square openings, including the ones that failed in the first version. Okay, we've made an upgrade, we've changed nothing. We've made it worse, no, we've done nothing at all, I suppose. But all this stuff, you stuff, they have rounded corners. All that's reinforced appropriately, right? When you're on them to put the glue on. Yeah, the main cause for rounding the windows

was to cut down on the number of rivets so they could use the glue instead. Which they then didn't do. Well, bond the comet for, they used the glue. Oh, okay. Yeah, so the next version of the aircraft, they used the glue. This one, they're like, maybe we can get away they use the glue. Oh, okay. Yeah, so yeah, the next version of the aircraft, they use the glue. This one, they're like,

maybe we can get away with not using glue. Turns out you need the glue. Whoa. And so yeah, the modern aircraft also have a lot of square openings on them. Like, you know, let's say the big door, you bring the luggage in on. You know, it's not the squareness of the windows that's the problem.

It's how you build them. I mean, you look at like these sorts of high performance, pressurized environments, like say, the International Space Station, that has square windows. Well, yeah. Yeah, there's a right-wing conspiracy theory that one of the NASA astronauts like tried to sabotage the station by drilling through a bit of the thing because she was like, she's a you know, there's a right when conspiracy theory that one of the NASA astronauts like tried to sabotage the station by Drilling through a bit of the thing because she was like she's a woman. She was probably trying to stop a crack She saved the international space. Yeah. Yeah. No, I so you're telling me we could go back to the like square aesthetic windows anytime

We wanted yes, God dammit. Why don't we do that? Sort of. I want like a sort of like a really retro like multi-pain aircraft window. I'm not I'm not technical enough to answer that question. I think that to have land comment windows actually weren't that big. You know, but the but they were probably bigger than a lot of aircraft windows today. Yeah, you know, I'm scared. but they were probably bigger than a lot of aircraft windows today.

Yeah, you get some aircraft now. Aircraft windows, I think, in general, leave a lot to be desired. It's kind of, I don't know. I think the main thing is, you're going to be stuck in the middle row, 500 miles away from the window anyway. Why bother? Yeah, I mean, listen, I like looking out of the window.

I find it relaxing, but on the other hand, if you just get, if you just do as the airline industry clearly wants to do and just give me no windows and just go, okay, you were in a like, you know, P3A Poseidon, we've painted it like flat gray, you have no windows, each shit fine, you know, good. Yeah, give everyone like submarine-style bunks. Yeah, the canvas nesting off the back of like a galaxy or a Herculean's. Yeah, exactly. So yeah, the square windows weren't the problem. It's fine to have square windows and planes. Plans have lots of square openings.

As long as they're rounded off in the corners, obviously, which they were on the comment. Mike, can we fuck around and have like triangular windows? That's the way of the future. You know, the rounded triangle. I have like some kind of like, I don't know, you're just just, you're starting to design like the Zaha Hadid plane. I don't know.

It's only a matter of time before like Saudi or like Emirates. Don't give them idea. Test-lighting triangular windows where it's like you know one up one down believe the house of sod but the first Private jet which was a to have a land comet for huh? Yeah That's right. So what's the end result here? Well, you know what it's still beautiful Yeah, it still looks good. Um all the comet were grounded. All the comet twos, which I believe they're only a couple of, they were grounded. De Havilland had to come up with a new thing, which was the comet three. The prototype flew in late 54, did not enter servants in 1958,

and most airlines had canceled their orders for them at that time, because they wanted the bigger and bolder comet four, which you can see here in Malaysia, Singapore, airlines, which seems like a short flight. So with the comet four, which was much improved, you can see they had the round windows here. It was a, it had thicker gauge, outer walls. It did not have the same metal fatigue problems. It was much improved aircraft. And it had the proper big Rolls Royce engines, so it could go farther and faster.

B O A C became the first airline to provide non-stop transatlantic service, but only eastbound. Yeah, westbound you have to stuff and I guess a Ganda, you know? Yes, you did have to stop and gander. But the time and effort that were taken to develop the new safer comment meant that Boeing in Douglas had time to eat to have one's lunch with the 707 and DC8 respectively. Yeah, yeah, I mean, I listen, I like a DC8, not as much as I like a DC10, but you only get to make like one or two mistakes in this business at this time. And we ended up with a set of airliners with a much less interest in visual language,

which is a great shame. Yeah. And one of the things is privately, the executives of both of those companies were like, well, if De Havilland hadn't fucked up this way, we probably would have. Yeah, because you're used to designing for, you know, in the same way as De Havilland. Yeah, exactly. But the 707 and the DC-8 were after the incident, designed to be much heavier with thicker gauge materials, so you wouldn't have the same metal fatigue issues. To have them in itself, they never really recovered. They were bought by Hawker Siddly in 1960.

They were fully folded into that company in 1963. The name lives on in the form of the havelin' Canada, which was I think acquired by Bombardier in 1992. And they made a wide variety of these sort of small but very rugged passenger prop planes. Yeah. The DIC-2 Beaver, for instance, beautiful, beautiful aircraft. The twin otter.

Yeah. It's like two otters flying together. Yeah. Well, all of the like bush planes, big fan. Just anything with the de Havelin name on it, I'm very, very attached to it aesthetically. Oh yeah, they're all very, very nice looking. Yeah, absolutely. And that's the story of the de Havelin comment. Everybody else got it wrong, everyone who talked about the windows, we have debunked this. We've done it. And by, and by, and by, we loved by children everywhere. We said, yeah, we're about to make it so that we're going to teach them, this is a

misunderstood aircraft. And we're going to teach them that like, we're going to make it so that we're going to teach them. This is a misunderstood aircraft. And we're going to teach them that we're going to do a big like YouTube, like YouTube bait thumbnail that's like, you know, like Windows falsely implicated question mark. Oh, yeah. I'm going to AI generate it. Oh, geez. What did we learn? Return with a V and go back with a time machine and tell them to fix it.

And, uh, we would be living in a much better Britain question mark. Yeah. Maybe you'd have the bowing of bread and it'd be to have a lint. Yeah. We'd have more interesting aircraft. We would. Hopefully. Hopefully, you could still, you could still have a bar on board. Yeah. Well, we

was segment on this podcast called safety third. Fantastic picture already. Yeah. Hello, activate Windows logo, Devon and lesser hosts. Devon and lesser hosts. This week's safety third is from my time, a fair few years ago aboard a mine hunter. We'll call the HMS redacted. I'm saluting with my palm down. I believe that was in Gilbert and Sullivan, operator. I was an oo sub-Lute tenant. get your sub jokes out of the way now. They're going to get your ass for saying lieutenant instead of left-handed.

A left-handed, left-handed, right? I have to, I think, yeah, exactly. Okay, I got to get myself in British mindset now. That's right. It's been an all-brit episode. Yeah. Broad strokes of our normal operations, but that we have Broadstrokes of our normal operations where we have a couple of a bees. I don't know what that is. Oh Abel Seymans Abel Seamans staring at a sonar screen for hours on end looking looking for anomalies, once an anomaly that was sussy enough to be a mine was detected. We had more or less two options. Either we send a dive.

That's the role, naval officers that I expected to talk like horned lower officers are saying that mines are sussy. Yes. Either we send a diver down to physically inspect the mine or we use a little underwater drone. Cool. On this occasion we decided for various reasons to send down the drone, which comes in a few different variants we had. A training vehicle used for training, a survey vehicle, used to look at the things we reckoned were mines to give them the old

ocular pet down and both of those were reusable. So we're always keen to make sure we can use these as much as possible. The final type is an explosive underwater drone that we basically drive up to the mine and Kaplanmo. The mine is successfully disposed of and the remnants of the drone simply joined the millions of tons of other rubbish, including the submarine service littering our oceans. One fateful day while haunting for mines in the Persian Gulf, the board Abel Siemens, noticed an anomaly raised it with the PO. Pety officer. Pety officer, who ran the drones,

but who will hereafter be called POI test. Hope okay. After identifying it as officially sus by sonar, we were ready to send out a survey vehicle to give it a look. After hucking the survey vehicle over the side like a used car battery. I got to join the Navy, man. Yeah. Imagine something like this, but orange. Yeah. The PO got to work. And soon enough, he had closed in on what looked like a single 1000 pound bomb likely left over from the Iran Iraq war. But honestly, it's the Persian Gulf. So it could have been for more or less anytime.

The most lost American like an national guard pilot, just like letting it bark over the Persian Gulf. P.O.I. test saw a single live 1000 pound bomb and in collaboration with the MWO, the mine warfare officer. Thank you for explaining that acronym. Only that one though. Yeah, only that one. Because they knew that you had me on. Yeah. They decided it was time to move the disposal and the survey vehicle was recovered. An explosive drone was then popped into the sea for the last time ever. And finally,

after all was ready, P.O.I. test hit the button. The only problem was that the explosion that resulted wasn't exactly proportionate to a single 1,000 pound bomb going off. Everyone immediately knew that someone had fucked up somewhere. As it turned out, P.O.I. test did really live up to his name as there was not a single 1,000 pound bomb, but seven of the fuckers. Just like some Iraqi navy guy in like the late 80s just kicking seven bombs off the like the deck of a ship and being like, well, never going to see those again.

Yep, done my job. Yeah, we play some strategically. Yeah, we play some strategically. The resulting explosion busted every single shock absorber on the ship. Those are used for loads of pieces of sensitive electrical and mechanical equipment to protect them from the shocks of the ship rolling well in high seas. It tipped two people out of their racks and nearly had me eating ship shit up on the bridge. If it weren't for the help of my fellow watchkeeper making sure I didn't fall all the way across the bridge. The moral of the story is that the ocular patdown, though an important part of military tactics, should perhaps not be the be all and end all of mind hunting operations. And that able rates

are to the Royal Navy, what freshmen are to the American education system. Oh boy. This is what happened once you start ending press ganging as soon as they're voluntarily, you know, it stops having the same legion as I quote, I've since moved on to bigger and better things of the Navy, but love your podcast a lot and has helped me through some fucking shit over the last couple years. He would up folks yours. I left tenant redacted RN. Thank you for your service blowing up a shitload of disused Iraqi thousand. We have a PS to this as an ancillary to this.

HMS redacted was then forced to limp back to port without the use of a lot of sensitive navigation gear, which was a hell of a task, and replacing all of the shock absorbers took several months because those aren't the kind of things that you keep and stock big enough numbers to replace all of them on a ship. I just, I think a lot about any, any military, any military organization is one of the like few places where you have that much equipment that is that difficult and that expensive to replace in the hands of, you know, the 19 year old. Yeah. And I think the comedy potential of that is really unmatched in any other industry. Oh, absolutely. Well, this has been known since Gilbert and Sullivan. Oh,

yeah. Yeah. Well, stay close to your desk and never go to see and you all pay me rulers of the Queens and AV. Um, well, that was safety third. Handle, reinforce, steer. I don't remember how the rest of it goes. Thanks. Yeah. Shake hands with danger. All right. That was a fun one. Our next episode will be on Chernobyl. Does anyone have any commercials before we go? We're going to do it again. Sullivan house. Lutheran settlement.

Settlement. Settlement. I've been selling Sullivan the whole time. So I've just, I've been selling it for some random Irish guy. I've just attached to this. I think it's actually it's Louis Sullivan house. If you like, uh, be, uh, Sullivanist, uh, Random Irish guy, I've just attached to this fucking thing. It's actually it's Louis Sullivan House. If you like, uh,

the, uh, Sullivan, uh, Skiscraper is the fucking hell you're, I'm gonna fucking piss in your mouth. I'm gonna shit in a hole. I that used to be your fucking chess cavity. I, I'm not about to be building artistically considered. I'm navigating here to one one hundred and 44 scale

FX to have a and comment full B model kit 29 95 surprisingly reasonable. I'm gonna add that to cart and I'm gonna send that to you. Thank you. In all seriousness, Lutheran settlement house settlement LutheranSettlement.org. If you want to mail toys, we will put the description in the video, we'll put it put the description in the video. We'll put it in the description

for the video. And if you want to mail gift cards, our Walker W-A-W-A-L-K-E-R at lsh filly.org. I can't speak or spell the caffeine's wearing off. Thanks for everyone who's donated or given us shit so far. I know the kids will appreciate it. I know the homeless families we help will help, we'll love it. Thank you very much. And all the children who are in therapy as witnesses of domestic violence. Thank you.

Thanks so much everyone. Yeah. Thank you. That was an episode. Bye everybody. Bye, Ron. Bye, Ron.