Well There‘s Your Problem - Episode 169: SS Pendleton & SS Fort Mercer

Episode Date: November 15, 2024

what if boat sink, but twice check out TEN THOUSAND LOSSES: https://lmndrsn.podbean.com/ check out our TOUR (new dates added!): April 30: New York City https://sonyhall.com/events/well-theres-your-problem/?id=18162 April 31: Somerville Mass https://artsatthearmory.org/events/bill-blumenreich-presents-well-theres-your-problem-podcast-2/ May 1: Somerville Mass  (SOLD OUT!) https://thewilbur.com/armory/artist/wtyp/ May 2: New York City (SOLD OUT!) https://www.ticketweb.com/event/well-theres-your-problem-sony-hall-tickets/13918973 May 3: Washington DC https://www.unionstagepresents.com/shows/well-theres-your-problem-podcast/ May 4: Philadelphia, PA https://concerts.livenation.com/well-theres-your-problem-podcast-philadelphia-pennsylvania-05-04-2025/event/0200615211C27E44 see gareth on RAILNATTER: https://www.youtube.com/@GarethDennisTV Our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/wtyppod/ Send us stuff! our address: Well There's Your Podcasting Company PO Box 26929 Philadelphia, PA 19134 DO NOT SEND US LETTER BOMBS thanks in advance in the commercial: Local Forecast - Elevator Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Three, two, one, mark. F***. Okay, good. Good enough. Fuck me. Oh, November. I'm good, I'm good. Don't worry about it.

The damp has gotten to your last words. Yeah. The rising damp has made it to your lungs. My final words will be, um, it'll probably go away on its own, it's fine, I don't mean to be a bother. And yep. Yep. Yep.

Yep. Yep. I'm looking like I'm gonna be on course for that. So this podcast has a massive international following, and some of you might not be familiar with Britain. Let me just explain how I explain, how I mean to explain Britain in a way that I do to other international people, like you know, my wife's family and others. Imagine Britain is like the sponge that you leave by the side of the sink and forget about and don't squeeze for a week. It smells like that. It's got

about the same consistency, smell and texture and moisture content. And what it does to your lungs is what is this? Yes. Is that? This is, this is not, it's not because the country has sick building syndrome, I live here, I'm adapted to that, I'm like one of those bacteria that grow on the inside of nuclear reactors. No, what happened is, I went to see the Glasgow premiere of The People's Joker, fantastic film, Vera drew for president, however, and I will say, I will preface this by saying it was worth it, I believed that seeing the

People's Joker got me the People's COVID. No. I mean, you're not, you're not, you don't sound like Jordan Peterson, that's the thing. You're not a bloody buckle buckle, you know. Okay, so we've established a problem already in the opening minutes, which is that making me laugh is quite painful. Well I gotta say, I wanna gripe about something. Having spent, you know, about a, almost a month in the British Isles plus Ireland in last year.

Can you guys have a fucking dry toilet floor? No. What a sentence. The only one was in County Kerry. It's the only type place in the entire Northwestern archipelago of Europe, whatever you want to fucking call it, that I encountered a dry toilet floor. You will slip.

I'm someone in like a kind of small minority here in that I can objectively compare the two and all I can say is that women's toilets are worse. Oh dear. I completely buy that. I've heard that's a common experience. I had to clean toilets at one point in my life. And yeah, that is a true statement based on my limited experience. Women, women are fucking nasty.

Girls are gross. That's why we don't let them in the treehouse. No girls allowed. I got grandfathered. them in the treehouse. No girls allowed. I got grandfathered. Congratulations. We're gonna give you a merit badge. Everyone listening to this, this is Nova at like 30% from illness and has destroyed all of us before we've even started the podcast. So this is going to be Nova's flu game.

This is going to be the best part of the podcast. No, Nova's going to hit a no hitter on LSD. No hitter on LSD. It's a lot easier to go over five on LSD, I would imagine. Oh. Oh. Welcome to... Welcome to 10,000 Problems podcast.

Yeah! Oh my god, shut up, C-Q. Oh my god, shut up, C-Q. Anyway, it's a podcast about sports engineering with slides. I'm Justin Rosniak, I'm the person who's talking right now, my pronouns are he and him. Okay, go. I'm November Kelly, I'm the person who's talking now, my pronouns are she and her. I love sports engineering because I'm gonna find out why all the jerseys are fucked up

now. Yay Liam! Well it's Fanatics' fault, but uh, hi, Yeah. Yay Liam. Uh, my pronouns are he, him death to rights to Ricky Sanchez. And we have, uh, yes. Well, Gare's your problem. A podcast entirely about Garrett Dennis. I remembered the joke. I have to be sheepish again, but fakily this time. Oh no, it's not that. It's not that. Um, yeah, my name is Garrett Dennis.nis. I am your temporary also co-host. My pronouns are he him and we have a guest.

Yeah. The one you bring on the ruin, everything you just make chaos. My name's Tom Payne. You may know me from 10,000 problems podcast. What the fuck? What the fuck? You fucking kidding me? Here you go again. Okay, well. Yeah. Alright. Hello, I'm fucking Tom Payne. I'm saying this for the third goddamn time. My

pronouns are he, him. And we're here to talk about the case of a Hassan Reddick, maybe the first retroactive Heisman. We're all wearing Hassan Reddick, maybe the first retroactive Heisman. Yeah, we're all wearing Hassan Reddick jerseys. ALICE That's true, I don't... I don't know why you gave me this. It took a lot of foresight to like, mail this to me. SEAN Well, it was the... the shame was, the dead drop I made in Glasgow must have been intercepted by Ned's, and uh... ALICE I still can't believe you were in Glasgow and I fucked up arranging to do anything.

Like, that's gonna be a source of deep shame to me, is the thing. SEAN Next time, I'll... Well, you'll make it up by shooting guns at bucks, can't we? How about that? ALICE Mm, hell yeah. Which we're gonna do, in the course of, well there's your problem, Northeast Corridor, we probably can't say Northeast Corridor at all.

They don't have that fuckin' trademark, do they? Northeast Corridor. Trademark it now, trademark it now. That's not a trademark. Which we're gonna promote some more. May 1st we're gonna be in Somerville, Massachusetts. May 2nd we're gonna- Go ahead. Okay.

May 2nd we're gonna be in New York City, New York, May 3rd we're gonna be in Washington, DC, May 4th we're gonna be in God's Own Country, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and- Possibly some other dates, because Summerville is sold out, New York is close to selling out. By the time this goes up, Summerville, or Boston, will be, the second show will be on sale, we can say that, tickets hopefully available. Yep. Yep.

Yep. My physical appearance in all of these is contingent on me surviving whatever the hell kind of Covid this is, and on the United States Customs and Immigration Service. However, I hope to, I'll be very excited if I do. We got some things planned, not least me going out to Bucks County to shoot bottles and cans off a fence. Did the fucking Zen cast- ALICE I'm gonna- I'm gonna redacted your fucking

offices and all your friends keep going if I if the audio recording of the man in front of you Drops out pick up the recording and keep going I've got the lounge music play the wtyp lounge music playing in my head right now. That's that's that's the current situation We'll be right back Yeah Yeah, so I guess we just rely on the local for now and I'll attempt to investigate what the hell is going on at the end of this recording. I, yeah, I mean it still shouldn't just, it's no one's fault except Zencasters really, this

shouldn't be, it shouldn't be this unstable. If Zoom can do it, yeah. Yeah, yeah exactly. Entry sensor open. Oh shit. Don't worry about that. You're getting killed. If Zoom can do it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Entry sensor open. Oh shit. Don't worry about that.

You're getting killed. Yeah, no, I'm not getting killed. The guy who just came into my living room is about to, uh... Meet an untimely demise. Doing the Kamala Harris thing of being like, I keep a Glock or whatever at what she said. I have a Glock. Yeah, it's a Remington 870 because I'm an adult. Oh, yeah Liam's about to exercise castle doctrine

So anyway So now that we're 20 minutes into technical difficulties, but theoretically going now Yeah Are we giving Hassan reddick a retroactive hyphen? I barely know what any of those words mean. It doesn't matter, you just need to take... Cut their mics, Devin. Get, get, get, get, get, move, but, no.

Let's do the dog gam news? Yeah, okay, that's fine. The dog gam news. The dog gam news. The news about a bunch of like, um, 1950s pinup anthropomorphic dogs. God damn, it's the news. It's the Dog Game News, with the names. It's the Dog Game News.

Oh, please, sweet merciful God, let this end soon. This is the last episode before the election happens, but will be released after the election is over. So we might go hog wild here and tell people all kinds of awful things, make terrible predictions, let's go. I hate this fucking election so much. My phone's been unusable for four months. SEAN It's already unusable, dude.

LIAM Yeah, but it's worse. ALICE I'm fascinated to even consider the phone situation you have going on. It's like a stuck in high contrast tax of the keyboard's massive. I don't know how to fix that. Why do you do this to technology, Ross? I'm envisioning a kind of screen crack, the likes of which has never occurred in any other piece of glass anywhere in the world.

No, he just got its first crack like, a month ago. He's good about that, it's just that like, he uses his phone in a manner divorced from reality, right? Where he's just like, yeah, like, I see him go on Twitter and I'm like, okay, that's a normal fuckin' thing to do, and then he brings up his keyboard and I'm like, I'm out. I'm good. Like, there's no life form on this planet or any other that can understand what the fuck is going on here.

ALICE This cannot be my homeboy. JUSTIN Look, I just wanted to talk about the election in Pennsylvania, it's been miserable for everyone, this is the worst thing you can experience. ALICE I understand there is an election going on in parts of the US that are not Pennsylvania, but I also understand that that doesn't matter. JUSTIN It doesn't matter, you as a Pennsylvanian, uh, your vote counts for like 50,000 votes in Manhattan, or like 75,000 votes in Wyoming. So every single canvasser, every single phone banker, every single- like everything in the

country is aimed directly at you, and you just get a barrage of mailers, and like, text messages. It's such a fucking relief that this comes out after the election, and so, for worse or more worse, it's over, and I don't have to tell people to like, vote, or not vote, I... people are still gonna get mad at me anyway, regardless of what happens, but like, vote or not vote, I, uh, people are still gonna get mad at me anyway, regardless of what happens, but like, I don't have to have a take, because either everything continues to be bad roughly at the rate that it was, or it's worse, um, so, yeah. Great, fantastic.

Yeah, it's- As I was gonna say, as a Bucks County resident, who is basically my camp, my vote is gonna decide the election so you can praise me for that, but I'm just waiting. And you're voting for Jill Stein, right? Oh yeah, absolutely. I'm just waiting for, uh, Dr. Brother Corner OS, of course. No, I'm waiting for to look out my window and see the fuckin' Bucks County courthouse on fire.

Yeah. And I'll just know it's go time. All right. That's it. I mean, they've they've they've been selling ballot boxes on fire already. So like, it's a short it's a short walk. Well, Trump Trump is suing Bucks County. Like when I when I see my county and fucking Elon Musk is tweeting about tweeting about it, I am I can't say what I want to say right now.

But didn't didn't I mean, possibly relatedly, didn ALICE Didn't, didn't, I mean, possibly relatedly, didn't you guys, and by you guys I mean Bucks County, try to kill him and miss? Like- SEAN No, that was Butler County. ALICE No, that was Butler County. SEAN That was Butler County. ALICE Okay. SEAN That's how I, uh, one of those, yeah. It's not out past like this.

SEAN It's like north of Pittsburgh. ALICE It's west of Uruk, I don't give a shit about it. SEAN It's not Les County Dauphin, you know. ALICE Dauphin County. SEAN Dauphin County. SEAN I don't give a shit about it. It's not Les-Counties-Dauphins, you know. Dauphin County. Dauphin County. You know it. I know you know it.

Welcome to York-Dauphin station. The bit of Pennsylvania having a time share with Quebec. We're in a condominium with St. Pierre and Miquel and Mickey Aon. That's why Wildwood exists, all the Quebecois can come and Miquelon. That's why Wildwood exists. All the Quebecois can come and ruin my fucking beach. I will say I'm like I am should be no surprise who I'm voting for. I'm I'm yeah, Jill Stein, of course.

But I am I am so goddamn sick. I know people are going to be in the comments like, hey, it's the most important. I know I know how important this election is. shut the goddamn hell up, stop calling my cellphone. I already voted, my shit is fucking in the box, please stop. Yeah, don't bomb- Stop calling me. Don't bomb ballot boxes, though.

Please, please. That's federal, baby. The US Postal Inspection Service can't wait to nail your dick to the floor. Don't. Stop emailing me. Stop calling me. Stop emailing his wife. Stop texting me. Stop emailing me, stop calling me, stop texting me, stop emailing my wife.

ALICE Stop, stop, this period of you mattering to federal politics has to end. JUSTIN Please. I want to be insignificant. ALICE Yes. I think we just need to flip a coin and determine whether Pennsylvania is a red or blue state, and just be done with it. Because no one wants this.

ALICE And the thing is, it's like a traveling road show, it's gonna go on to the next swing state, it's gonna be... I mean, it already is, in like, Wisconsin and Georgia and Michigan, but, y'know, if the demographics hold, then, y'know, after whatever kind of Trump-girter dammering it'll be like fucking South Carolina, or whatever, y of like, Trump-girter dammering, it'll be like fucking South Carolina, or whatever, you know? Virginia. Yeah.

So, it never ends. It never fucking ends. Unless Trump wins, and the world does, in fact, end. The chonk-gutter among- or however you fucking say it, that's a great mod for HOI. No it's not. I will say, on one small little nibble of good election, Sarah- Trumpa Demerung. Thanks for the compliment.

Oh, fight you. Sarah McBride, the first openly transgender member of Congress, if she wins, is running in Delaware, and she runs an ad that's the only good political ad, which is all the unions who back her. My favorite one is the last one, it's the sheet metal workers. But she's like, Sarah's endorsement, like teachers, like nurses, you know, all these all these union workers. And then they go sheet metal workers like really loud directly into the mic. Like guys in their 50s being like sheet metal workers. And it's the only good bit of politics I have. Like,

ALICE The last the last three guys in America who know how to make this specific shape of sheet metal, they're all woke, is the thing. You wouldn't have guessed, but they are. The good news is, when the three of us singlehandedly push Jill Stein over 5% of the popular vote, owing to our oversized Pennsylvania voting power, the Green Party will get federal matching funds and immediately tear itself apart much like the Reform Party did. Ross, hello you stupid asshole. Provisional Green Party, the original Green Party, the real Green Party, the workers,

the workers Green Party. Brackets, bras. Oh, that's when I run for Green Party. Yeah, I listen to that. Howdy here, fresh folks. It's fucking, it's amazing because like I said, we are, I, I cannot think of the last time I saw an ad that was not for either draftfucks.com or a political ad. I'm just like, I, I, I just want, not a big fan of Bob Casey, but I do want him to take Dave McCormick out back like a dog.

See, I didn't put an actionable threat there. I didn't put an actionable threat there. ALICE I'm sure that, like, Gareth will agree with me on this one. But even- SEAN Take him out like a dog for a nice game of fetch. SEAN That's it, that's what I'm doing here. I hope they have a nice time, I can say that, that's not actionable.

ALICE Even from outside the US, this is both exhausting and terrifying to watch, and I simultaneously feel that this election's been going on for 18,000 years, and also, like, a minute. Genuinely, I feel like, there's only like 13 sleeps until we find out who the new president is, shit, has got me fucked up, psychically. So at a state level, okay, loads of activity, fine, fine, fine, but the thing that struck me is how low energy it feels from the leadership of both potential- Well Trump has PTSD, he has trauma.

Oh yeah, that's right. Yeah, we should be sensitive to that trauma. No, it should. That's right. Yeah, I want to do- I hope you get some like exposure therapy for it. Oh, that was genius. Kamala, Kamala, she's, she's just kind of, uh huh. She's just kind of not around.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's just baffling and. You know what Tim W is doing is doing twitch streaming Which I mean, I don't recommend that shit for anyone. Yeah, yeah, e-girl Tim walsh went Well waltz was waltz was doing great until people started giving him advice Yeah, jeez, I know who those people

start giving him advice. Um. Yeah. Yeah, jeez. And you know who those people were? Labor. The fucking Labor Party. From Britain, we came over here and we were like, listen, you gotta do two things. You gotta get much weirder about trans people, and you gotta wet every bathroom floor.

Yes. It's like, let every, like, you know, lift every voice and sing, wet every bathroom floor. I don't like that too. I don't even know if the wet bathroom floor joke is in this version of the podcast that we've recorded six times already. I have no idea. I don't know. I don't, I don't do these jokes for them. I do these jokes for us. And you know what? I'm glad of it. You know what? I'm going to end this new segment by, by, by simply saying that I look forward to the WTYP episode on liberal democracy. It'll be a bonus. Look forward to that one in the future. Cause my

God have to be a bonus. I'll just say, I'll just, I would just like to say, county Kerry, come here. We have the dryest Jackson all the Ireland. Oh, that was dreadful. Liam, how's your, I, Liam, how's your Irish accent? How does it do it? How's it going? I don't insult my own people.

Oh, do the accent. Do the accent. Oh, I'll fucking do an accent, buddy. Fiddly-D potatoes. Yeah, this'll be the accent. This is the accent that I put on when I wanted... What's the nuclear self-holocaust button, I guess? This is...

I think a lot about the Sinn Fein guys who had to come over to the US to raise money for more car bombs or whatever, and they had to put up with this shit every day they were there. I still remember, like a flashbulb memory, me sitting next to Gareth and me doing, trying to do the laundry next to him, and just the cringe on his face. It was like I genuinely harmed his soul. And we'll have to do it again. Anyway, let's put the Electoral College and its insanity to one side because I'm sure the result will happily represent the majority of the American

people. And will be accepted non-violently by, you know, by Trump's people. Yes. Oh yeah. In other news... ... ... I think the first time he's been happy in his life was working at McDonald's.

This is the second time. The first time was when he had the hamburger- when I had the hamburgers with the big football players. When he had the- That's true. That's true. The joy in his face. Donald Trump just wants to live a kind of like, suburban existence. All the times when he's happiest have been this, the like, also fast food connected football

player burger thing, when he sees- Talking about musical theatre, talking about Arnold Palmer's dick, talking about fashion. When he sees a big guy in the audience, oh yes! Big guy, yeah. And I think the most like, elegiac Trump quote is when he was looking at some trucks and he said, I could just take one of those and just drive off into the distance, my life used to be great. Get this man a heavily financed Ford pickup truck and a job managing a McDonald's franchise. ALICE You think Trump could drive a semi? You think Trump could be an owner app?

LIAM No, I do not think that, no. I don't like the American Truck Simulator DLC. I don't like it. It's like Trump busting out like a fucking Siegfried Sassoon fucking ass poem. Just really. Trump has a future in like rapid logistics because if he becomes an owner-operator while president, the Secret Service will have to clear away for him the whole way. Where's this McDonald's, if you're wondering? It was this weird Potemkin McDonald's, because it wasn't open, it was only open for him to work there. Yeah, it's the fucking fatalist of McDonald's, of Goddamn Bucks County, Pennsylvania, please

leave! This is already surreal, I can't imagine how much more surreal it is to see Trump at like my McDonald's. Yeah, well, I'm no fucking lower county yet. Knowing that if you order like a McFlurry there, his hands may have been on the McFlurry machine. I mean, big enough to hold the cup? You know, it's... So far I've had the street behind my house blocked off by Mike Pants, Joe Biden, and

as of last week, Tim Waltz. So, as, I just imagine, you know, the lower part of Bucks County being settled by William Pitt, and he's really trying to find his green country town and an estate to escape away from the madness, and have religious freedom, and y'know, two, three hundred and fifty fucking years later you got a guy like, look at these hamburgers, they're so good. I didn't know they made them back here. ALICE It's like the end of From Hell, as he's signing the treaty he gets a flash forward into the

future. The 21st century, for better or worse, I have delivered it. That's why he went back to fucking England, he's like fuck this shit, I don't see what's gonna happen. I need to go back to somewhere where the bathrooms are wet. Are the bathrooms wet in Buckinghamshire? Oh, almost certainly. We'll fight them in the puddles. Buckinghamshire? Oh, almost certainly. We'll fight them in the puddles.

Home counties bathroom? No. Yeah, that's it. Is it like at a pub that you have to drive to and drive from? The wet bathroom line was there during World War II, you know, trying to... We'll stop the Germans by having a wet bathroom. They will not be able to advance any further than this line. This is a German guy being like, I must clean this bathroom before we advance any further

because it's disgusting. And if you leave it, it is going to get mold. I was thinking I'll know. I cannot see the book. The only other nationality- This story is so bad, Andrew. I'll know. I cannot see the poop when I make this. Fuck, you're talking about white people. The only other nationality that is up for a wet floor would be the Germans. Surely, they're into that kind of mucky shit, you know. What if it's Italian? No, no, I mean, because they're like, everything has to be completely sterile, like all the time. Except when they're doing sex stuff and then you get pissed and pooped on. I was so glad, Roz, that it was you who took us there. Beautiful. Beautiful.

Should I bring out the Szechuan sauce? Do you want me to bring out the Szechuan sauce? I didn't know Trump was German. I didn't know Trump was German. I would say that, I have to admit it, yeah. Because of the P-tape. Which is real. We're all 2016 liberals, we've become 2016 liberals. That's the funniest possible November surprise, I guess, I don't like calling it that, but like late October surprise would be P-tape real.

I would get the hat back out. I would get the hat back out The only thing that makes that like slightly less German is I think the video was allegedly filmed in Moscow which no German has ever Set foot on so yeah, that's good points good point. Yeah Scoreboard baby. Yep count the rings Hehehe, scoreboard, baby. Yep. Count the rings. My favorite part about this was Trump being so happy to find out that in McDonald's, no human hand touches the fries.

Oh, that's right, yeah. He has this gift for the poetic, you know, in anything he does. Like, were he not the awful, awful human being that he was, he could have been our, like, civilization's homer. You know? He was about to say, I... No hand touches the fries is like wine dark sea. You know?

But within it, it evokes a whole way of, not just of seeing the world, but a whole method of being, you know? Yes. Oh for a muse of fries. Sing muse of the Bucks County McDonalds. Alright, a McDonalds first stage, Trump's to act, and the President's to behold the swelling scene. Then should the warlike Trump, he like himself, assume the port of Mars, and at his heels,

alright don't remember the rest. Yeah, so this guy's president now, maybe. Like, 50-50 chance. 50-50 chance, yeah. I don't know what's going on. Listen, either way he's getting punished, they're taking him out of the McDonald's, and they're either taking him to prison or the White House, and he hates both of those things.

So... Every political prediction I've ever made is wrong, so I'm gonna say he wins. Oh, okay, yep. Yeah. I'm holding you to this, like, weird bit. Devon, please put up either, like, confetti, the sound drop of all the kids cheering, like, you know, like crying laughing emotes if Justin is right, or like various wumps and like, uh, buzzes, and so on song if Civil War starts.

This is my fight song. That's what the fight song is, right? Um, fight, fight. Yes. Alright, alright, alright, alright, listen. That was the dog-gom news. Ah, it's a shame about the Civil War, you know, fewer listeners to hear all this. Well, hopefully, hopefully this comes out the day after, I'll be fine. None of them are gonna fight.

Hogs, rise up. Prove me wrong, listeners. I think it would be cool if I, like, you know, sort of hold off and got killed in the second American Civil War. Like, one of these weird guys who went to fight in the first one, y'know, I just end up face down in a ditch in, y'know, Kansas or whatever. You could be like Giuseppe Garibaldi and like, y'know, Kamala Harris, please, I will fight in the American army, but you have to make me the army chief of staff.

I'm gonna look into getting Polish citizenship. The like, August Willich thing of being like, I'm gonna raise a regiment of like, communists, and then, you know, I also will be a communist, and I'm gonna fight for a bunch of like, the slightly less worse, like, you know, American libs. And I'm gonna be like, you guys should look into this communism thing at some point, and they go, yeah yeah sure. I do look forward to, if Kamala Harris wins, the absolute dunks we're gonna get from the resist lib wine mums. Oh, listen, I will allow myself a brunch. I will be brunching with them.

You have a couple brunches, yeah, that's a good idea. Bossamless mimosas. Oh, we're not allowed to have that in Philly, except in very specific circumstances, because the PLCB fucking ruined everything. Technically, if I have mimosas, they're not bossamless, but like, y'know. Is this a sex thing, or uh? Yeah, yeah, it was a sex thing. Oh good, okay.

Everyone's a fuckin' tap at this goddamn brunch. Yeah, well that's why I was, yeah, quite, it was. Yeah. That's alright, I'm sorry, I'm just confused confused because I've spent all day watching my wife Dom Lord Handy, so I, yeah. Anyway, oh wait, it's the fuzz. They're after us. That was a perfectly timed, uh, sorry. All right, how is boat four?

Yeah, sorry, there's pictures on screen. And uh, what's, wait, on the left, there's Liberty ships. We're looking for the audio media listeners. The USS, we built this yesterday. Hell, uh, what's... wait, on the left, those Liberty ships, we're looking for the audio media listeners. ALICE The USS We Built This Yesterday, hell fucking yeah. SID The USS John W. Brown, the USS John E. Brown, the USS John A. Brown, like, it's just in a row. ALICE Yeah, the USS Aaron A. Aronson, and then it goes all the way through to...

RILEY These ships are famous for their build quality, I believe. Oh no, that's foreshadowing. ALICE We fixed it, we fixed it, we fixed it. We'll get to that in a sec. The fucking SS Richard Montgomery is still down there. Still down there. Future episode. Future episode and then slightly later in the future much longer episode. Yes. And we're looking at two aerial photographs right? Black and white aerial photographs, they look fortesey. Yeah, Tom you wrote these slides you're gonna have to leave this here I did so how is boat formed is the question how is bad how is body for are we are we sitting crisscross applesauce everybody? I'm all snuggled up. Yeah, let's do this. I'll ship you already get pregnant

The zoomers will not be getting that that one Riveting That's the zoomers will not be getting that that one. This is riveting stuff. We're going to get there. We're going to talk about rivets. Yeah. We have a but I'm the covid variants in my brain are funny. You got the chuckle strain. So how is boat formed? Boat is formed at Shipyard. And we

have two shipyards here that will be relevant to the subject of this episode. Because again, we just fucking faked you out. It's not about Hassan Reddick, you fucking losers. Yeah, I was about to say. It is. It is. We're actually talking about that. For God's sake. I'm done. Okay, well, he comes to the plate. You know what? Someone find the connection between

these two ships. And we're going to be talking about the SS for immersion SS Pendleton to two ships and To ships a like and dignity I like in make as well Yeah, wait a minute if we're talking about two ships Then we usually only talk about one event does that mean the two ships become one se- oh, okay, right. I don't like where this is heading. Yeah. No, the two ships actually become three ships.

Yeah, that actually does happen. Okay, rule, dear. Now there's two of them? Um, Star Wars, uh, prequel reference. I love it, Nixon. Rule! Yeah. Yeah, so boats reproduce asexually.

That's only kind of true if some of the rivet gun guys are fucking each other then. I'm gonna give you a hot rivet. Um, all right. Keep it together goddamn it. Um, Jesus Christ, yeah, it's already like an hour. Um, and we're on slide four. Uh, so on the left is Swan Island Shipyard in Portland, Oregon. So that's that's where the Pendleton was born. And on the right is

Chester County at the Sun Shipbuilding and Dry.com. Hey, we talked about that shipyard before on the episode we did on. What was the what was the first one you have me on yeah El Faro El Faro El Faro was built there too but later on yeah so so we see the the I don't know if those are actually ships but uh that's where they were born and what kind of boat were they next slide a type t2SEA1 tanker. Yes. Of course, the type T2SEA1 tanker. We have talked about

them on this podcast before. Rolls off the tongue. And, and uh, yeah, so, so, uh, Gareth, you were spot on. 1940s kind of reminds you of Liberty ships. They were built at the same time. Ah, okay. Like similar hull patterns and stuff or? Yeah. So they were like designed to be like, like rapidly produced. You know, if you played hearts of iron two, the good one, that's like your serial production, right? You're trying to make a lot of them quick.

Yeah. Blast from the past. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so, uh, designed to transport oil and, uh, oil and oil accessories, rapidly across the ocean. Yes. Because, you know, hey, Germany ain't gonna bomb itself. Yeah, you need a lot of stuff, you know?

So yeah, it's, the idea is we're just making this shit quick and it's not supposed to be a particularly amazing vessel. Yeah, USS, we built this yesterday. Yeah, combination wartime economy and jobs program, because we love FDR. Thanks FDR, yeah, you ruined everything, man. Fucking shouldn't have changed as Vice President. But yeah, so built at the same time as Liberty Ships had some of the same problems. Okay.

Oh. Yeah, so they were built out of ass metal. Oh yes, ass metal. Yeah, and what ass metal does, Rye has clicked the first animation. Oh, okay. Yeah. So that's the Schenectady? Basically asses have cracks.

Someone took this thing to a chiropractor. Como se dice, Schenectady. someone took this thing to a chiropractor. wall walls up there. I loved that fucking movie when I was a kid. Yo, but Crank, we ain't gonna make it on top. Crank, yeah. Yo Crank, Crank, we gotta stick a drive-thru out of the face, we gotta get us up there. Delirious setting. Crank, Crank, Crank, we can't stop to fucking steal the car batteries, We got to go. Oh, no. Think of all the lives wasted, all the catalytic converters left on the stolen.

I like how Jason Statham's guy in this crank guy in this instance, he's he's he's, you know, I can't do the voice. He's got the thrill of stealing the catalytic converter instead of fucking the woman. Like a popsicle. Yeah. Raising me all right by stealing the catalytic converter. Instead of fucking the woman in the street. He's like a popsicle, yes. Raising me alright by stealing the catalytic converter. I like how we're making NovaTv voices while we're on Friday. I am lightheaded.

Nova, you're ill and we are working you harder than ever before, it's tricky. And then this other one cracks if you click on it. I put their names on there. This is another great name. Uh. Hold on. Let me, let me see. I don't know if the animation's translated to PowerPoint. God damn it. Uh, I, I saw it move. Oh! What great software we use. You mean the annotation?

Oh, the annotations. Excuse me. Oh my god. Click to pull up image. Oh, right. Go to one. Yeah, oh now the arrows on the wrong spot You can still kind of see what's on the wrong press E right yeah What this is gonna be an all-timer for all the wrong This is gonna be an all-timer for all the wrong fucking reasons. They asked for me to come back. They asked for me to come back and specifically be with Liam on this and this is what you fucking get.

So this is the, I don't know, Pontagansett? Some fucking place. Oh hey, Sherman! It's the ass crack joke again. It's split in two. Boats are typically not supposed to do this. Generally they don't just split in half at the dock. They only do it when they're very distressed and and and rise a big stretch And rise you know more about this, but apparently it's something to do with metal fatigue. Yes

Alright, so I think a good place to start here is to talk about joining two pieces of metal together There's two ways to do it. There's riveting, well there's three ways, there's actually several ways to do it. Um, the two... The fuck is... God damn you! The two ways we're going to talk about today are riveting and welding. What a riveting topic. Well we made that joke already.

Fuck you Tom. Fuck you Tom. Fuck you. Fuck you. So, older steel ships... It's a very welding topic. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you, Tom. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Right? You see this here, right? In between World War I and World War II, this began to change. Welding was the new thing, right? Welds aren't necessarily inherently the superior form of joining two metal plates together. You know, even today, you'll have steel bridges that are largely held together with bolts instead of welds. Why do you do the change, right? And a big part of it is that riveting is very labor-intensive. You need four guys to install a rivet, right?

You have the warmer, the catcher, the holder, and the basher. Yeah, so much for reproducing ice actually, Jesus. Tag yourself on the basher. much for reproducing ice actually, Jesus. Yeah, tag yourself on the basher. So okay, what you want to do is picture a Looney Tunes cartoon where you know there's like a, you know, in the construction site, right? Exactly. Just keep going.

The warmer heats the rivet in a furnace, he gets out a big set of clamps, and he throws the red hot rivet to the catcher. That sounds like it fucking sucks. Yeah you can see old newsreel footage of this, I've seen it in old footage of the Clyde shipyards, and it is crazy the number of rivets that are just flying around in red hot at head height. Yeah, I mean, let's be honest. You guys, you guys thought MLB was losing ratings before.

Well, now what we're going to do is introduce extreme baseball. Aaron Judge, good luck to you. Trying to wrestle the red hot rivet out of the, out of the catcher's hand. People often talk about old timey times and the fact that, you know, health and safety got mad and then everything, Men were harder back then. But if you ended up with one of those hot rivets, you misjudge it. And one of those hit you in the head. It didn't hit you in the head. It hit the floor and your head was merely a brief obstacle that has now a hole in it. So, um, yeah, no, not good. Also a little thing to talk about. So people

often, you know, when ships got hit icebergs like the Titanic, you know riveted ships It wasn't so much that the metal tour But that actually you end up with these metal plates Buckling and the rivets popping and water kind of seeping through the gaps between plates just a little yes Factoid there look back at the 20-hour Titanic episode We will we will talk a bit about different failure modes for these different things in a moment.

So the the the thrower throws the red-hot rivet to the catcher the catcher hands it off to the holder the holder puts the rivet in the hole and he holds it there with another special tool then on the other side of the steel plate, the basher hammers the other end of the rivet from the other side, creating, uh, you know, a seal on both sides, right? That sounds unbelievably fucking miserable. Um, yeah, now imagine you have to do this like tens of thousands of times, or hundreds

of thousands of times. I couldn't do this once! I'd be bricked- not bricked up, I would have been bricked with a brick. I would have been hard as fuck. No, no, no. The rivet goes in the hole. You know, sometimes you can get away with skipping the catcher if the furnace was close by, but not often, because the furnace is heavy and hard to reposition.

Yeah, this shit sucks and it takes forever. On the other hand, a riveted panel looks cool as hell, and they fail much more noisily, which is very evocative for your movie or whatever. JUSTIN Between the wars, we developed this new process for joining metal parts, which is welding. Welding can be done by one guy with an arc welder. You just position the pieces next to each other and melt them together. Right, it's fast, it's easy, you just need one guy, and that's very important during

the war since manpower is short and time is of the essence. ALICE USS, we welded this yesterday. Exactly. You would not believe the words. Do not believe the words. Uh, sweet cheeses. this yesterday. Exactly. You would not believe how many welders get... Sweet Jesus. I've seen... occasionally, like, I'll do some shit like, I can't sleep so I'm gonna get really into something specific, and I've seen some... because of this, I've seen some welding gore in my time.

You can fuck up a weld in some really fun ways. Oh yeah, if you wanna see some of that, just look at the vehicle ends of the Class 800 family IETs running up and down the East Coast Mainline. That welding is fuuuucked. Conversely, you can look at, you know, go on fucking R slash welding or whatever, you can see some very like, very clean welds, very like, you know, beautiful smooth welds, and you're like, damn, that's crazy. I'm just imagining like a trad guy like, no, you have to use the rivets, that's how the Vikings built their warship using the clicker method. You can't weld it, that's

decadent. Give me one second here, I have to use the restroom, I know it's only been a bit, I'm sorry. It's been like an hour. It's been like an hour, it's fine. Right, it's calligraphy corner again. Nova, how's the calligraphy going? Nova, go. Actually really well. So I got set a brilliant challenge recently, because the kind of black letter calligraphy that I mostly do is called textualis quadrata, right, it's pretty simple. And I got asked if I could do something in this script called Rotunda, which is like, a lot more sort of curvy?

What the hell? I think someone's riveted panel just fell. Was that a gong? Yeah. Yeah, so I got asked to do this, like, Rotunda thing, and it is hard as fuck. Like I'm having to learn basically from scratch. You gotta, like, twist the pen as you're finishing downstrokes. It looks great, but like, I mean, mine doesn't, mine looks like absolute shit, cause I, y'know,

I'm still learning it, but like, it's been a really interesting thing to change up all the ways of doing this. And that's one of like, I dunno, a bunch of different kind of black leather scripts to do so, like, if I master this, y know, fucking inshallah, I got more. So you know, more, yeah, transifiers. If you want to, then yeah, post them on the old Twitter, I'd be welcome to see that. Yeah, I mean, the thing is, I'm always a bit of a perfectionist about this stuff, it's the same with the photography, if people are wondering why I haven't posted any film photography recently, it's not just

because I have ADHD and I've moved onto a new hyperfocus or whatever, it's just also because like, I don't wanna, no shit leaves the shop, right, I don't wanna put out stuff unless I like it, and with the calligraphy there's a lot of stuff where I'm like, this is okay, like it's consistent. Oh you don't want people to judge you on the idea that you're doing it for enjoyment and for the challenge, but uh. It's not good enough yet. I mean, give it time. There we go, the Hogs love calligraphy corners.

Did we lose Tom? No, I'm here. Oh yeah. I thought Tom you'd been replaced by ominous piano music, which is why. If you have a piano in the room I could start hitting it ominously. Don't. Don't do that. Oh, I, poor Dev do. If you have a piano in the room, I could start hitting it ominously. Don't do that. Don't. Don't do that.

Aw, I... Poor Devin. Devin, I... Well, the welds are strong, they make the whole damn ship one big piece of metal. Metal flexes, so in terms of expansion and contraction, that's fine, right? Or is it? Mmm. Mmm.

What if it does that on a cycle a bunch of times? Well, you'll see right here, this is a cross section of a butt weld. That's one little butt. So much for reproducing ace actually. Yeah. A butt weld is when you put two pieces of metal next to each other, and you weld them together, right? Uh huh.

No response to that. That's, okay, legit. Cool. This is, this is where this, this shaded area here is where the metal has been heated to a point where it changes its properties. Right. The heat affected area. Yes. And this can be good or it can be bad. Um, and especially if you don't know what you're doing, it's bad. Oh, I have no idea what I'm talking about. I see future up, I'm right. I'm currently holding my PWI Understanding Rails and Rail Welding book, just for the

benefit of the listeners. We may need Gareth's help here, because this is not my area of expertise. Studying the blade over there with the, uh... Studying the rail. Yeah. Studying the blade over there with the mmm studying the rail. Yeah Yeah, also because I changed the background to black all the the words that are supposed to be here Okay, so metals they're the meat and potatoes of the periodic table. Hi milkshake So a lot of chemicals they're made out of you know these tightly bonded molecules But metals are just this big party of atoms hanging out swapping electrons, right? Oh, I saw the poly Molecule that's why they call the transition metals

Was a pull-up jumper from 50 foot this is why alloys of metals are described in percentages and not chemical formulas there's not like a there's not like a steel molecule these aren't crystals yeah yeah no that's all I'm still I can give more metal shot, but no other one with crystals everyone in your mind. Yes crystals. Metallic bonds form atoms into large crystals of relatively uniform patterns, but with discontinuities between them, right? I just really like the idea of like now we know that these are crystals like you're kind of wine mom like setting out a bunch of healing crystals but they're all little steel I beams yeah exactly I beams out for George W Bush on 910 crystals underneath

New York subway how'd you know oh they told us to stay home gotta get the secret Jewish cabal cell phones. Is that the Obama phone? But it's a Blackberry from like 99. Windows Phone was unfairly maligned. I had a Windows Phone. Perfectly fine operating system. Perfectly fine.

It was 2006, dude. All right. The first iPhone didn't even have the fucking change. Getting a message not to come into work today on my Microsoft Zune. The problem is, you don't know if Hezbollah has an Uno reverse card situation for those. They literally did. The reason why I found this out, the reason why the pager attack went off like it did is because, and I found this out in, it was like a book by Ronan Bergman, I wanna say, that Unit 8200,

the Israeli SIGINT agency, they got entrapped like this in, I think the 90s, because Hezbollah left a cellphone full of explosives for them to find, and they brought it into their like, you know, exploitation area. And it blew a guy's hand. Yeah, and they killed two people, or blew a guy's hand off, or whatever. So yeah. This was the Uno Reverse card. Well, they call it the Uno Reverse card because it's the Unabomber.

You just gotta hope that Hespil doesn't have a second Uno reverse card. Yeah exactly. And just keep dealing the reverse cards. It's like Windows Phone, it'll just start a blue screen instead of blowing it up. Maybe in the 80s and the 80s they were trying to charge their Samsung Galaxy. So the Note 7? The billion dollar nugget! Um, anyway.

No, no, no. I've seized control of the radio station these crystals affect the mechanical properties of the steel they can be controlled in a number of ways through production through adjusting the level of carbon in the steel adding adding metals other than iron, reducing or eliminating various impurities, and also crucially controlling the rate of cooling. ALICE This is where you get all the different alphanumeric codes for different kinds of steel that knife people go absolutely nuts about and being like

yo, your pocket knife that you only use to open Amazon packages sucks dick because it's 410HC or whatever. As opposed to my Giga Chad 81ZF4. FOLD IT TEN THOUSAND TIMES. For clarity, you can have exactly the same alloy composition in a, and yes, rail steel, I'm the rail guy, I'm always going to say rail stuff. You can have rail steel, it's precisely the same chemical composition, so the same alloy percentages, but depending on its heat treatment you can end up with completely different crystalline structures so for example most rails out there have perlite as the Steel alloys crystal structure, but if you heat treat them, especially you can have what's called bay night

Which is much much stronger and resists Scratching the weird voice. Fire Knight. Yeah exactly. Merely adopted the West Coast mainline. It was born on it. Molded by it. It's probably molded by a rolling machine though actually. Well yeah but uh... I'm trying to think of a Ra's al Gh slash role joke someone else better than that the Rosal Gould my my Liam Neeson impression. I can't do that on the air

What you did the other one earlier right it's not the accent If for instance you're rolling out a big steel beam from a hot billet and you allow it to cool very slowly, you get very large crystals that results in a steel which is very ductile or like easy to deform, right, in other words. That's desirable usually in like structures, like buildings and like bridges and so on, because of things like thermal expansion Cyclical loading you want things to be able to bend a little bit You know in like or like in an earthquake or with any kind of like wind loading so on and so forth

It's better to have something that bends and you know if if it bends really badly you can look at it and say hey There's a problem there you can look at it and say, hey, there's a problem there, you can uh, fix or- They have a surgery for that. Yes, exactly, exactly. That's why they call them transition muscles. You know what- You know what I mean.

You know I've never subscribed to this philosophy, so like, what if I want a steel that is as rigid as possible, because that makes it more stronger? Oh, we'll get to that in a second. If you cool it down very quickly, you'll have something that shows no signs of problems and then shatters catastrophically. Oh no! Oh, that sounds bad. At least it fails in a way that you're aware of it, you know, very much so, when it happens.

Yes, instead of being able to correct the problem, it just happens and you die. Yeah, exactly. Saves everyone a lot of work, apart from the guy who has to clean up the remnants of you. Yeah. So yeah, if you want a steel that's very hard, like a chef's knife, or like a sword, some kind of big block of metal, you want a machine with like a bridgeboard or CNC or a lathe or something, you want to take a different approach and that's going to be rapid cooling or quenching. Oh, like quenching. That's why you'd fucking dump it in like oil or water or whatever so

it cools quickly. It's not just to look like a badass. Yeah, I thought it was. And I've watched like every season of Forged in Fire. No, it's very important you cool it as quickly as possible, because, okay, so we see up here, this is a slowly cooled steel under a microscope, right? You can see there's very consistent grain here with the crystals. And this is rapidly cooled down here, and it's a big mess of shit going all different directions.

There's lots of- My, uh, my favorite Forged in Fire thing, sorry, is, um, the first host they had, fuckin' Wil Wheaton or whatever the fuck his name was, was like- Wil Wheaton. Yeah, he was a troop, he was like an operator but in the Air Force or whatever. Anyway, they did like a military special, and you know, one of each branch forges a knife or whatever. And when the first guy who I think was a Marine loses an each ship, because he's made a knife

out of crayons and banging two rocks together, Wil Wheaton goes, um, I would never ask a member of our, like, armed forces to surrender his weapon, uh, like, leave with honor. And it's like, okay, man. I love that shit. Did they have a coastie on it, and if so, did they make, like, the- Oh, god, I hope so. The dive knife with the blunt tip so you don't accidentally stab yourself when you're trying to disentangle yourself from a line? I'm gonna look this up. Sorry Justin. I it's will well us, but I'm gonna

Wearing that weird fucking sweater from next generation. Yeah You know, he's he's he's serving I'm just gonna say that the zebra and the non zebra parents here are Actually that I think they are the crystals I talked about, I think the top one is definitely pearlite, and I think the bottom one is actually bainite, as steel crystals. I believe that is the case, yes. I glanced over the Wikipedia, I was just like, I need a refresher on this, and then I did that.

So as best I can tell, they had like, one coastie on Forged in Fire, but not in the military episode. So what even is the point? I know. I wonder what he made. So. Or they made another gender, but it's a- it's a guy. A trans guy, actually.

Oh, hell yeah. So, cool. Shout out. I got it right by accident. Yes! Yeah. I'm not gonna get cancelled again on this show. Does not say though. So, I don't know, could've been anything.

So this crystal formation results in these high internal stresses, you know, it results in all these crystals that are with each other, they resist deformation, because they're all fighting each other, you know? This is not- Like the left. Yes, exactly. Exactly. The top, the top is, uh, what? We got-

It's like Lib Steel. It's Lib Steel. Lib Steel. The bottom is Democratic Centralism? Yeah, exactly. It's going to, it's going to break before it bends. Remember that time when Abdullah Saleam just exploded with no fault. Mason- So this is good for context. This is good for a lot of applications, as Ross was

saying. For example, for rails where they're being inspected very regularly by like automated trains, you can predict when they're going to do the breaky shattery thing. And so you can exploit these properties for either for, you know, chef's sushi knives, or for having really good wear resistance on shallow curves on high-speed rails. MMMM. Yes. See, they're of my philosophy, they make it more rigid. Yes.

And this process can be reversed through something called annealing, right? So let's say you take your chef's knife that you spent, you know $90 on right and you accidentally leave it in the oven somehow you heat it up and you let it cool down slowly Congrats, you have a useless hunk of metal. That's gonna be defeated by three small onions Unheat treated your knife. Yeah exactly You used to be able to fix Nvidia graphics cards by baking them. Yeah, the temperatures involved aren't hugely... Yeah, they're not massive. We're talking, you know, a few hundred degrees Celsius.

Not like, uh, you know, we're not talking like crazy furnace temperatures here. Yeah. So the metal reverts to these large crystals that it naturally wants to form. The things... the knife is, youknow, not gonna hold an edge anymore. So don't do that. ALICE Yeah, you can bend an edge over on a tomato, or whatever. JUSTIN Yeah. That in turn can be reversed through cold working, right?

If you're bending or folding or otherwise loading this ductile steel over time, it develops small discontinuities in the crystals. We know this is stress hardening. Sometimes that's desirable, sometimes it isn't. And you can develop various alloys to affect the structure of crystals. Most impurities result in more imperfections in the crystal structure and then more hardness, right? Ambient temperature can also affect the brittleness of steel. That's important. We're going to get back to that one.

So what I just want to point out, I will have to beat myself in a second because I have to, I am on the third floor of my house where I live and my wife is, it is my job as the man to get the food, so I will have to get the food, bring it to my wife, and then come back to record the thing that pays the rent. Modern love. Modern love. Beautiful.

I love my wife, and she is the littlest baby. But yes, continue. So anyway, that's my imperfect understanding of metallurgy, but we have to talk about it in a wartime era. Oh dear. You've got all of this but a bunch of racism tacked onto for some reason. And less knowledge. They were calling these different types of crystalline structures by like different slurs.

Oh. You'd just be like, hey, why is this still like ****? Yeah, exactly. Grandma, we don't use that anymore. Come on now. Put the nutcracker down. We're the Blacksmith Hammer in this case. So big steel mills, they're spitting out as much steel as possible.

There's manpower shortages. Not all steel is what we would now know is like good quality, or at least of structural quality. A lot of it is coming out of the mill with like high sulfur content, low manganese content. This is stuff that's great for machining, not so much for structures, right? These these components like sulfur disrupt the crystal and structure, meaning the steel becomes harder, but also more brittle. But now these look. Sorry, they ran out of manganese.

Oh dear. Yeah. Why, that's gone poorly. It's not good for your steel. No one's paying a lot of attention to this when they're building liberty ships and associated ships because they're not really designed for long term use, and also sort of the knowledge of what alloys need to be used for this application isn't there yet, and welding's a very new technique at this point, at least-

Americans, you're so funny, you're just like, yeah I reckon we'll win the war in six months and who cares anyway. It's built five thousand of these. And this steel worked fine in riveted ships, so why wouldn't it work in welded ships? Sure. So you know, combine everything we just learned. Older ships were riveted. Those rivets, while hot themselves, did not significantly heat the metal around them when

two plates were joined. Now the ships are being welded. That requires melting the very metal they were made of, but also introducing new metal into the joint, the result here is, y'know, you've got continuous crystal discontinuities at each joint, the properties of the metal changed, and it caused some weak points, right? ALICE You have a ship-hole that is one piece of metal, but it's one really fucky piece of metal with a lot of weird areas in it.

Yes. I'm gonna put my Ben Shapiro hat on. Is it possible that maybe, that, in fact, the problem was that the rivets were being done by women. Who, in a traditional Judeo-Christian context, would not be allowed. I'm not even gonna continue that one, cause I... It would not be allowed. I'm not even going to continue that one because I, it would not be allowed.

The ships were actually made of weldings. I immediately go to Kermit, which then just takes me to thinking of Jordan Peterson singing It's Not Easy Being Green. It's not easy being green. Jordan B Peterson here. But then also Miss Piggy smacking Jordan Peterson at Jordanson? Jordan Peterson in face. Jordan Peterson. Jordan Peterson. Jordan Peterson.

Jordan Peterson. That fucking Norwegian guy. Oh god, yeah. It's the fucking, oh Jesus, Kurt Vonnegut book. Well anyway, Miss Piggy can smack him all in the mouth. Heeeeeeeyah! Like that. Yeah, she's waking him up from the fucking, you know, benzo coma. Yep.

So anyway, owing to all these factors, that's how the SS Schenectady split in half at the dock in calm waters in Portland, Oregon on the 16th of January 1943. This crack was heard around the city and was heavily reported on despite wartime censorship because it was in the middle of goddamn city and everyone could see it. Yeah. Put a tarp over it like when a plane crashes.

I love how much this is just like there's a model ship made out of like, like a Ravita's or something, like just made out of like crackers and it's justita's or something like, just made out of like crackers and it's just been snapped by just a guy. It's just like the boat has snapped. It's not like, oh, there's some, some like difficult to see in a photo warping. It is literally boat snap, which is-

I love that. Yeah, the front fell off. Yeah, front fell off, that's it. It was like that when I got here. This ship was completed, went out to sea trials, This ship was completed, went out to sea trials, came back to port, then split in half. ALICE And presumably, since this is wartime production, you're just like, well, I guess we had a bad one. Another 5,000.

They can't all be winners. JUSTIN So, the cause of the fracture was not known. They blamed it on faulty welds for several years. Until a woman- Ooh? The woman? The woman. Outside of the house? Yeah.

Named Constance Tipper- Oh wow. Did a study on liberty ships in the 1950s. Me trying to give a fake name to a waitress. Ron Mexico and Constance Tipper. JUSTIN So, Constance Tipper had a very long and productive career in which no one took her seriously on account of being a woman. ALICE Same, good thing I'm a comedian.

JUSTIN She was once invited as a featured speaker at the Royal Society, because they only saw her initials and didn't realize she was a woman. No, when you gave her CT it could ever possibly be a woman. They let her give the speech and then wouldn't let her come to the dinner afterwards. Fucking hell. Jesus. What is going on over there?

Yeah. Nothing good, I'll say that. That's like the Romans, one of my favorite historical facts is that Etruscans were relatively egalitarian. And the Romans are like, wow, I say these women are at dinners reclining with the men, they must all be whores. You know, like, that's... So they just had to stereotype that Etruscan women are all whores because they dared dine

with men, like, you know. Have you ever seen an Etruscan, like, statue where it looks fucking weird as hell? Like, evil looking statues? Don't know why. RILEY Uh, they're all- there's also a great vase of a guy fucking a goat, too. ALICE Oh. A civilization, and it's discontent. RILEY Fun fact, they had great art back in the day. RILEY They really knew how to make it. ALICE That's the Celtic influence right there. RILEY

Yeah. See, that's the traditional art that we're trying to bring back as part of the architectural movement. Goats being fucked. Put them on the doorways. Okay. That's how you know who's house to pass over. Okay. Yeah. Like Etruscan statues look at the way they do the faces. Right. It's like, fuck, they look like elves or something. Yeah, you're gonna have to put it up. Fun fact, Brad Lidge, the pitcher who got the last out when the Phillies last won the World Series in 2008, is now an Etruscologist. And no one in Italy knows who he is.

One Italian baseball fan being like, yaw! Oh, Jesus, poor Gadeo, you gotta get this guy over here, he threw the ball very hard! Well, I understand the Italian baseball league is dominant in the Italian baseball championships, which I can't recall the name of. That was... European, not Italian, and it said Italian twice, I didn't mean to say that. Giuseppe Garibaldi would be like, I really love the idea of this guy and his PhD thesis sort of being like in many ways the Etruscan culture was also balling out of control.

Anyway, um, Constance Tipper essentially invented modern metallurgy, especially with respect to crystal structures and things like that. Um, you know. Yeah crystal structures and things like that. You know. Something about women and crystals. Women know about the crystals. She knows about the crystals. I can't fault that.

Women, they say she knows all about the crystals. All. They won't tell you this anymore. Oh, my Trump's not really coming out today. You know a lot of times especially before the war the co-authors on her papers took a lot of the credit or got a lot of the credit. Tell us all this time. Yeah She determined the cause of these cracks was not the bad welds as

suspected. The welds were actually perfectly fine. It was the metal itself. The metal was just bad and that meant okay it would tend to snap around the discontinuities which are the welds right but you couldn't weld it better to make it better. The weld would just do that. Essentially, when the temperature dropped below a certain point, this steel turned into effectively cast iron. Oh great, ass muscle. Yeah. Yes.

Another interesting thing is, these sort of cracks that were forming around the welds were also happening on riveted ships, but because in rivets you have holes, I'm drawing some holes here, if a little crack started to form, it just went to the next hole and then stopped. As opposed to a welded ship where the crack just immediately, you know, went the whole way through. Interesting tidbit, both on ships and bizarrelyly aircraft. If you have a fatigue crack, one of the ways to stop the growth of the fatigue crack, and this may exist in aircraft, well, it certainly exists in older aircraft flying around 20 years ago, it probably exists in Boeing aircraft today, you can drill a hole where the tip of the crack is and that will slow down the,

well, stop the crack growth, at least for a bit. It does mean that there's a hole in your ship and or aircraft, but that is one of the ways that you stop the T-crack growth. Saves weight. Yeah, exactly. Saves weight. Adds speed. It works on bridges too.

Yes. It works on pretty much everything. Stress concentrations are weird. They are. Yeah. How do we make this stronger? A remove material. So Constance Tipper went on to develop a test for temperature, you know, to find out the temperature where metal turns from ductile to brittle. We now know this is the Tipper test. You know, it's required for any sort of material that's expected to be exposed to low temperatures,

you know, like a boat, or an airplane, or I dunno. ALICE What is it? What do you do to test the thing? JUSTIN I don't know, I kept trying to figure this out through several sources, and it's like I don't- ALICE Good thing it's not a, like, a sort of widely available piece of information. JUSTIN I assume you have to go to college to figure it out.

ALICE But just going back in time, you know, can I ask you at Yankee, in King Arthur's Court, you're getting really specific about it, and how do you perform this tipper test? I don't know. Yeah, I often consider if I were in that situation, like, do I actually have enough knowledge to survive? I mean if you got metallurgy, I'm going back in time and giving fucking Harold Guy Winson Like really fucking good. What's a good medal? We should give them the fight the Normans

Look, I mean if if I just knew an AK-47 how to do If I knew how to do the Bessemer steel process I'd be set. I think if you give me a full sized Glock with that magazine capacity I can make people think that I have an infinite number of shots and that's gonna get me through my lifetime. We get to the whole post-Alexandrian period where my generals are fighting over my territory and eventually they figure out that they've used all of them, and then things get fucky. You know?

JUSTIN Yeah, I think in a Connecticut Yankee and King Arthur's court... ALICE I'm a power-core sorcerer, and I cast Forty Smiths in Wesson Hole in your torso. JUSTIN The thing about the Connecticut Yankee and King Arthur's court is he was defeated by Merlin. Mm. Mm.

I'm just now imagining Harold Govinson with the Glock, like, in Pulp Fiction, and he's like, uh, hey, how would you say it? Sejist, khoat, ongyan. Sejist what? Harold Govinson inexplicably played by Samuel L. Jackson in this, too. What doest thou sayen? What a language. Sayest thou what in Normandy?

My understanding of the tipper test, by the way, just bringing this back on course, is that you just reduce the temperature, and then whack the metal, and then once... Oh yes, that's really underwhelming. That sounds about right to me. A lot of times it's pretty simple like that, yeah. Vonda bia sta on big burger. Or bai-ga. Bai-ga.

I don't know, my old English pronunciations. It's better than yours, so fuck you. Anyway. I don't know my old English pronunciation. It's better than yours, so fuck you Anyway, I was there and I wasn't even involved I'm an innocent bystander here. I was talking to the listener Okay, this is this is an interesting episode and then we've discussed the mechanism of failure up front But now I have to hand it back to Tom for what happened. So we have this war. Yeah, we talked about it a little bit.

This guy, Adolf Hitler, he's fuckin'- He's a badass. I'm not a great fan. He's got a lot of fans on X, the everything app these days. He was just up to all sorts of bullshit. You know, just a real, like, him and his pack of rogues just running around getting up the high drinks. Um.

Tried to change the German system of typefaces. Yeah, and also changed trackage to some weird wide version. You fuck those guys, for that alone. Getting so, getting so mad that your font is Italian in origin. Well, you're not using runes. Oh, guess where runes come from, motherfucker. They came from the Etruscans. And where were the Etruscans?

Making weird faces on stations. Motherfucking Italy, dumbass. And where did the Etruscan, where did the Etruscan alphabet come from? Okay, it came from the Greek alphabet. Where did the Greek alphabet come from? It came from the Phoenicians. And where did the Phoenician alphabet come from? Fucking Egypt.

We thought all on them, Tom. Yeah, so fuck you, Hitler. Don't know shit about... No, this is not a pro-Hitler podcast. Hitler banned from the dafont.org forums. Hitler, not allowed in the treehouse. No, no, no. So we have here a picture of a sword of dames and then fellas celebrating the end of the war.

And, um- Some fucked up haircuts here. I gotta say though, sometimes the World War II gal haircut does do it for me. There's something about it. Sometimes, though. Not any of these though. The weird sort of over-curly. The over-curly, no. The 40s bulb. Hello. Mm.

So, we win the war, we can- these ships that we built, basically disposable ships that we built out of ass metal. Yeah, built by Lodge. Ass metal with butt joints yeah, I bought a tee to at the store at the Cracker Barrel the Yeah, the the euros won't understand that You could buy cast iron pans the fucking Cracker Barrel general store. Yeah, yes, huh so Cracker Barrel Yeah, yes, huh so cracker barrel

Will take you to a cracker barrel yes, please Do they have a train above the city did they have a train above my head again? Because I enjoyed when I went to the supermarket about a train above my head. Oh Yes, we went to a Yes You gotta go the Wegman still they have good cheese. Yeah too. They have good cheese. Yeah, they have pretty good cheese. Lots of cheese. Keep her moving. So, you know, obviously, you know, America's going to demobilize, stop building weapons, find a peacetime economy, a peace dividend, build a...

Maybe we could scrap these vessels, make shitty homes for white veterans only No, no, no, no. Yeah, we're not doing that. Oh, those are still good ships because they're still floating You can make money by selling it to private private interests, which I said for a note of NA would be a good name for a late 70s porno This did a little bit of like jazz piano on the soundtrack. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, is that a crack in your, in your hole or? Oh, oh doctor, I think I need a new ass. This one has a crack in it. I need a hot rivet. Some butt welding. Oh boy. No, no, we're going to sell in the private interest. So let's take a look at what happened. So let's click the next slide. That's the Fort Mercer. Uh, she did not serve in World War II. Uh, she's a flat feet getting really like insecure about

it. Buying a bunch of like nine line shirts. Yeah, I was you know I was an operator, but I never deployed by the way I'm on my like third divorce but still care about traditional values Yeah, yeah, I would have fucking enlisted but as soon as that drill instructor would got my face. I would have fucking punched him You and every other dude from yeah Yeah, that's right. I don't fucking, I didn't graduate. The school of hard knocks is where I'm from. Alright. Fucking, um, Craig Yolkinson.

I too went to Father Judge. Yeah. You know, I dropped out for a judge second year. It was too hard. Fuck you. Um, yeah, so she was completed by a war after the, uh, a war after the month. Wow. A month after the war's end. Nailed it. And then, uh, yeah. So she was completed by war after the, uh, a war after the month. Wow. A month after the war's end. And then, um, so, uh, she was sold to the Trinidad corporation, which is a part of the barber asphalt family. Uh, yeah. So, uh, there are a lot of weird trumpets on the back of this vessel. What? What?

Well, we do have the diagram in a couple of slides. See back in the day, you used to be able to get all types of shit from your bar, but now it's just skin fades. I imagine that these are... Oh, Jesus Christ. I enjoyed that. I enjoyed that. I'm sorry, I stepped on that joke.

It's all good. I imagine that... Barbara Asphalt is like the new version of being tarred and feathered. Barbara Asphalt, I the new version of being tarred and feathered I imagine there's some that's I forget the term is for that but like let's air in but won't let the It's like a ventilation system on the back probably yeah So her career up till the the incident Was unremarkable. It's like your 30s. Yes

Yeah, so so we're gonna leave the Fort Mercer now. Imagine the Fort Mercer as you will, she is steaming north from Norco, Louisiana, laden with oil, well, yeah, with oil, with a destination of Portland, Maine. So we're gonna leave her there. Let's go to the next slide. Alright. Uh, the Pendleton was surprisingly hard to find. ALICE Almost identical ship.

SEAN Yes. It's almost as if they're the same class of ship. ALICE Yeah. Yeah. Almost. ALICE Sick paint job on this one though, so. SEAN Oh, and that will come out, that's important to... No. Yeah, we have the fucking, like, we have the murdered out Pendleton. ALICE Yeah. Fake tags on the back. The coast guard pulling her over because you have a legally dark tint. Again, it's got the Teletubby ass ventilation petal thing going on.

And they seem to be in like all random directions. Yeah. Maybe it's just aesthetic choice. You're going to get some airflow in or out of that, I guess. So she served in World War II, we know of at least one Atlantic convoy that she was part of but did not have a spotless career. There was a few incidents. Foreshadowing. Yeah.

So, in 1947, while still in government service, there was cracks noticed. Not a big large crack, but a crack was noticed. And then they installed these crack arresters. And this is common with this model tanker and also with the Liberty ships. So they would, with this ass steel basically failing in parts, they would then take a strip of stronger high quality steel, and like, band it on the inside. They were called cracker resters.

ALICE Did they drill a hole? Because drilling the hole would be a good idea. JUSTIN I'm actually not too sure. ALICE Yeah, a bit like a doubler plate in aviation. ALICE Just straight through, and it's leaking and you're like, listen, it could be a lot worse if you don't. JUSTIN That's why you have a bilge pump. ALICE Yeah, exactly. Just straight through, and it's leaking and you're like, listen, it could be a lot worse if you don't. That's why you have a bilge pump.

Yeah, exactly. These things always- every boat leaks, they're all full of piss water at the bottom. Yeah. Like English bathrooms. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. It's just a lot of English bathrooms. Why do you think we rule the waves?

I thought those ships were made out of oak. Oceans are now bathrooms. They already were. Yes! Key for enjoyment, not for employment, man. Now I'm trying to see here if the Pendleton's were riveting. Just a joke I remember. Genie comes to like two guys who are fishing in a boat in the middle of a lake, and the

guy wishes, I wish this whole lake was beer beer with his last wish, and the other guy turns to him and says, you stupid asshole, now we have to piss in the boat. Oh, Jesus Christ. In 1948, the Pendleton was sold to the National Bulk Carriers. Again, a nice straightforward company name. We don't have those anymore. They don't make them like that anymore. I'm sure there are like 45 similarly named companies that owned like two ships each and was like, we're bulk national carriers. We're American bulk carriers.

National bulk carriers of Delaware. This is kind of crucial, though. And so in 1951, she ran aground in the Hudson River. Don't want to do that. And she ran aground between the number six and nine tanks. We'll get to the diagram in the next slide, but note that for future reference. And she sat for a day with the weight on that section until she was refloated That is my by the way my favorite genre of dumb boater accident is getting is like getting Getting running a ground

Especially like a high tide Like then you're just fucked until like the next neap tide comes along or, you know, king tide or spring tide, something that comes along that actually will let you float. But yeah, no, so she was up for about a day. And I have a question for everybody. Is a ship designed to float on water with a... Yeah, typically. With a relatively balanced distribution of load along the hull?

Or perhaps, are ships designed to sit partially partially ground with stress unevenly distributed on the hull Yeah, like kind of like a see like I was gonna say like a seal, you know, they pull out they have a rest You know, they get birth they are Yeah, so fall it turns out it's probably not a good idea but the latter oh Turns out actually yeah the the weight has to be distributed properly. Yeah, it's almost like that's an incredibly important part of how ships are made. Although in high school, I did run a racing shell aground, and then with my fellow sculler, we managed to get it back in the water before the coach noticed and got mad at us.

It's the sweet, sweet water of the anacostia. Yep. Yes 10,000 gallons of sweet crude Yeah, it was a very big On the anacostia no one would have noticed Actually would have made it nicer. Yeah, Yeah. It doesn't smell like shit anymore. It smells like delicious sweet crude. Texas Tea. We got a, so after this, they inspected the vessel and found that there was a crack in

the bulkhead between the number four, a triple crack in the bulkhead between the number four starboard wing and center tank. This crack was not repaired. That's three more cracks than you want, folks. You gotta draw three more holes. They're having a cracking time. Save triple the weight. And cracking grommet.

What a cracking crack. Let's crack on. The CIA was involved in the distribution of cracks to... The CIA... We've exhausted this joke, let's move. Oh no, that's alright, we do the 20 minutes. Oh he's getting salty! Salt pouring through the crack.

Oh god, Devon's gonna have us hang for this. In January 1952, the Pendleton pastured Coast Guard inspection. Hooray! Ah, yeah. They cracked. Pretty cursory inspection. Yeah, yeah, no problem. The Coast Guard's never done that before, we definitely did not talk about that on the El Faro, this sort of cursory, ah, it's fucking fine.

Looks fine. Yep, looks good. Looks good to me. Just slapping it and then just half the shit just falls off. Don't you gotta get into all the containers? The guy with the confined spaces training, he's fucking sick today. I'm just filling in. Yeah, that's sure good.

Alright, next slide please. So here we have the outboard profile on the whole plants for the T2. So you can take a mental note where the zone of the cargo tank 6 to 9, that sort of area. So here is 6. The wrapper? Here is 9. That's where I was sitting. Nice.

I've drawn a VHS tape. Yeah, you have. 6 to 9, damn so fine. Give it to me so I can do a VHS tape. Yeah Give it to me suck it to me one more time and All right, and you can also point out where the where the the tanks are It's not that crucial on the overhead diagram but what I do want to point out is Sort of if you will divide the ship in the two and... I think that was the problem, right?

Well... Well... There's your problem. In the back... It's the problem? He said the thing! Well, there's your problem. Wow.

Wow, a celebrity. Yeah. I can't believe when they said, well, there's your problem, and they problem with over the place. Probleming off the walls on the ceiling. Probleming out the window down on the street. Probleming off the walls on the ceiling. Probleming out the window down on the street. Probleming off the buildings. Yeah.

So, the back, the stern of the vessel has the boiler room, has the engines, has a power plant, and the bridge is forward. Just make another mental note of that. So it's like a Great Lakes freighter, though the pilot house is not all the way at the bow, it's sort of amid ships. I believe is the word. I know boats. The only thing I know about Great Lakes freighters is the one song about the like one being doomed which you know, boats pulling. Is that the one the legend is told about that? Oh yeah, the shipippewa Arthur Anderson.

Yes. Oh, you fucker. It's that lake they call Gitche Gumee. Yes. Yeah, which that episode is coming eventually. Stop fucking emailing me about it. It's the John Munson, the, I don't know any other Lakers. I'm unrelated to Josh Munson.

Yes. The famous Laker LeBron James. Yeah. Yes, the famous Laker LeBron James. Yeah, you're not doing that episode till I can finish learning the guitar. We're gonna have a first live WTYP Unplugged. Were we talking about LeBron James? No. Well that's your problem, LeBron James. Oh, that charter school motherfucker.

Oh, no. You're gonna have me over for a different reason. So we leave the Pendleton right now, she's steaming north from Nolans, with a load of kerosene and heating oil bound for Baston. That's out there. Baston. Shipping up to Baston? Yeah. You could, one could say-

Shippin' up to Baston, man. Whoa. Shippin' up to Baston, man. Who wrote it? ALICE You could say-. Hi, it's Justin. So this is a commercial for the podcast that you're already listening to. People are annoyed by these. So let me get to the point. We have this thing called Patreon, right? The deal is you give us two bucks a month and we give you an extra episode once a month Sometimes it's a little inconsistent, but you know, it's two bucks. You get what you pay for

It also gets you our full back catalog of bonus episodes So you can learn about exciting topics like guns pickup trucks or pickup trucks with guns on them The money we raise through Patreon goes to making sure that the only ad you hear on this podcast is this one. Anyway, that's something to consider if you have two bucks to spare each month. Join at patreon.com forward slash WTYP pod. Do it if you want or don't,

it's your decision and we respect that. Back to the show. Alright, next slide, Riverboy. I'm gonna hedge my bets here. Thank God that, you know, Donald Trump isn't president, but it sucks that I have to do this for work. Oh, it sucks. It sucks so bad.

I mean, you are on the verge of death and you're putting up flu game numbers So i'm very proud of you. Thank you Um, so so we have up here on this slide. We have a chart two charts. Um Looks bad tom. Um, yeah, well, you know, uh, I can tell it looks bad too And thank because I got a c plus at meteorology 203 at penn state Um, I can actually read this. Garbage school for garbage treatment. It looks like there's a low pressure zone heading into Hyannis that's gonna bring some significant storms into the area

and also appears that there's a freezing. Jeff Case had just did that. The temperature over there, yeah. The freezing, yeah, there's that freezing, oh shit, the weather nerds are gonna make fun of me. It's an isohite, isoline, I don't know. There's a certain pressure height, depending on how far up it is, it basically is a good predictor of whether it's gonna be freezing or not. The precipitation is gonna be freezing or not.

Anyway, let's look at the left side. Would 1950s Jim Cantore be in Hyannis right now? Sure. During the like 1940s CGI storm, where it was just like all practical effects and they'd drown a couple of weathermen. LIAM Yeah, they actually drowned Jim Cantore. SEAN He's uh, he's getting ready to teach JFK Jr. how to fly plane in fog. ALICE At the same time. SEAN At the same time.

So Ry, you could do chapiquitic without, uh, even going off the bridge. Jesus Christ, Raz. You kinda said that unintentionally, like, with the Biden cadence there, and I- Yeah, I have no idea, I don't know. Drive, drive, drive off the bridge! Don't even have to- Don't even have to drive off the bridge! The water comes to you! Alright, Jack?

Alright, Jack? Alright, Jack? Yo, it's hedging my bets again. Yo, it's so crazy that Biden's president still, somehow. Yeah. Oh, well speaking of Joe Biden, there was a Joe Biden riff I had, delete it from this slide. Uh, Roz, can you say the bolded date? The witch?

The bolded date? The bolded date. In the notes. The bolded date. Sunday, February 17th, 1952. ALICE Alright, nice. See you on the left. ALICE Patching my bets again, it's cool that Jill Stein is president. ZACH It's really cool that Dr. Brother Coronel West is president.

ALICE I for one am pretty excited that the Pennsylvania National Guard was able to secure the I-76 corridor, keeping the crucial Pittsburgh to Philadelphia pipeline intact, you know, logistics corridor following the fall of Ohio to the JD Vance Catholic Integralist Brigade. It's really cool that Sherell Parker is now a president of the independent Pennsylvania Commonwealth. No, that's not really cool. That's not really cool.

That's gonna be bad. Imagine her wearing, like, the Zelinsky fuckin', like, uh, Zip. That's- that guy's ahead of his time. Every leader is gonna be wearing those in like, A24's Marvel Civil War. Like, guaranteed it. Somehow, Sheryl Parker gets a Maz, and is just DUI-ing her way through fucking West Philly.

Um. Look, look. It got stuck in the commuter tunnel. It's gonna be Parker versus Fetterman, I'm going with Parker. Yeah, I'll... Oh god. Yeah, they can't find a quarter that's big enough in his ass. Put the gun in my mouth now.

Imagine that coalition, like, it's like the scene from Downfall, where they're all, like, Federman. Federman's losing his mind. Send the Parker! The Parker Brigade! There is no Parker Brigade. Alright, so, weather. So we have what we call here a surface weather analysis chart. It's for the morning of the 17th. So you see, there's a, a thousand four Milibar low off of Delmarva.

And imagine with you will in Scranton, there's a little Joe Biden. My Joe Biden's turning into a Obama for some reason. ALICE You really are the party of you to nail by yourself, Tom. ALICE So crazy that Obama's president again. I didn't think that was possible, but you know. TOM I was a slipping screen. It was so. So I'll see you Joe Biden.

That's actually my job. Was that was that your Obama? No, that's my Josh Shapiro. Okay. The merger of Joe Biden and and and so fucking tired of Josh Shapiro. Yeah, this is just going to be I think I've killed Gareth. But I think at some point this when this just becomes an all Pennsylvania politics podcast, I just I fucking hate Josh

Shapiro. I want to go on record as saying that shit when he runs in 2028, and he's just like, oh hi, I'm the dorky little guy that ruined the fucking Amtrak, meh meh meh meh and I killed SEPTA all by myself and I fucking suck ass. I'm Josh Shapiro, bookmark this podcast. It's so crazy that Josh Shapiro is warlord of Pennsylvania. Yeah, I will personally make sure he has enough time to prevent, uh, have a good time to prevent that. Um, can you take him out like a dog?

Every presidential candidate got assassinated simultaneously. Yeah, well, it's really crazy that Liam's president right now. Wooooo! You bitch! I hate to tell you, I'm president again. No, not you, Dylan. I've come back. Back in the hole you go.

This is it, this is it. It's crazy that Jimmy Carter is president again. I can't do that one. I'm not a pretender. Get lost. Brackets in automatic. That's what it deleted. She said Jimmy Carter and you went to Dixon yeah, cuz I can't do a card. Yeah, I can't neither can he at this point

Linlind and Johnson comes back from the grave. Oh, yeah, but this is I can do I can do a chance It's just to me That's me a slapping jumbo on the desk, all right That's me slapping Jumbo on the desk. All right. What does he do? I mean, yeah. So, so whether. So yeah.

LBJ masturbate to me by slamming his dick against the resolute desk. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You've done a two for a check. Who's to say? Oh, a second.

I'm gonna get some come out the song bitch now. Bring in the fucking British ambassador. I want him to see this oh wait a second I'm gonna get some cum out the sock bitch now bring in the fucking British ambassador I want him to see this get a fucking kick out of this that was the last thing that went through JFK's head after the bullet was that realization that he would be replaced by

LBJ whipping his dick on the wrestling deck. And then he went to like Catholic hell. Oh, this is all, all time for nothing else for the flu game numbers. Oh, my tummy hurts. I'll tell you what, you believe it? Believe this fucking shit was underwater. I can't do a good Water I've heard in my entire life just there Like it just like getting a letter

Like signed Robo signed by LBJ is like a sorry your son got owned in Vietnam or whatever. And you're like, why does this have a dick print slapped into it? Who was who was the British ambassador to to America back then? Kim Philby, probably. I don't know. Some kind of like got that some kind of freak show. Get a good angle. Kim from the area that killed the film.

Look how big this thing is. Look at this. All right. I'll tell you what. Get Dangle, uh, Kim Fremley in here. Look how big this thing is. Look at it. Alright, how about that? I'll tell you what. President Boomhauer. I say, I say, I say, I say, uh... Whoa, whoa, I dare say, uh... Tell him, tell him, Kim, you got Dangle, Dix, that big down

over in Britentown, fuck it. Are you trying to do Pangem? No, I'm doing boom hour. So we take sex. They go boom hour. They can go slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip, slip Dang old pregnant man. Uh. Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old-

Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang

old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang old- Dang Oh, I was feeling delirious before we started. Dangle, Dangle, John Franklin died. Now I'm just turning back into Obama. I don't know if it's because I'm sitting down weird, I can't get the chest projection for my Obama. Let me be clear. Let me be clear? Let me be clear. I would like to apologize.

I like this. Apologize? No, why am I doing it fucking apologize. I like this. Apologize? No, why am I doing it fucking wrong? God damn it. Okay. Okay. Obama announcing that the US is going to like come to terms with his troubled legacy by

you know, convening a new thing to try and buff the dick imprint out of a regular death case. Hillary, no, Monica get in here. We're going to put another dick print into the desk I come into the white office and the president Sorry, let's talk about the weather you asked me to be on this fucking podcast. All right Can you guys just get to the fucking weather already, please I just want to know how to read the chart Okay, well now for whether on the eights Hey, what do you do? And then you would have a fucking place on was present. We have had I have had enough of Italy and Italians.

I keep the thing. The thing is right for as far as I know, I have zero Italian DNA or heritage and I'm proud of that. Yeah, you say that in every conversation. I do. I have zero Italian DNA or heritage, and I'm proud of that because Italian's- ALICE Yeah, you say that in every conversation. SEAN I do. I lead with that. And Corinne's like, there's no way that's possible, like, everyone's a little bit Italian. Unfortunately, Corinne is a little bit Italian, so when I have children they're gonna be at

least partially Italian, and that brings great shame and dishonor to my bloodline. ALICE My like, 1% Etruscan kids. Oh my God. How do you say it? Rasna. Get back to the weather, Tom. This is your job. Yeah, this is Tarkin Superbus with the wetter. All right. So so so we had we I didn't I didn't even do the fucking Joe Biden where he's sleepy. He's sleeping in Scranton. It's snowing outside. He's very cozy. He's 10 years old because Joe Biden was 10 years old in fucking 1952. He's dreaming of his move to Delmarva. He's dreaming about beautiful women's hair. He's going to he's going to get a red rider carbide action BB gun with the the the scoping

thing that tells time. Yeah. Yeah. I fucking hate that. And and so this this this low pressure systems formed off Cape Hatteras and it's moving moving up. So the peasant Pendleton is moving up the eastern seaboard. It's the Pendleton is experiencing the weather the entire way. So they have like a real shit ride of it. The weather kids keeps getting worse on the 17th as the 17th wears on. They reach the outskirts of Bassin' Habit and they can't find Boston light. So what do you do when you have bad weather on a boat before GPS was invented? have bad weather on a boat before GPS was invented, you're going to just be like, fuck it. I'm going to stay out at sea and wait till this whole thing blows over.

I think if I'm outside Boston Harbor, I just start shouting slurs until somebody comes back. I agree with you. The Loran Sea radar, the operator is just a fucking guy from Southie yelling slurs. Yeah, it's just my dad. Slurs. It's just about fucking guy from Southie yelling slurs. Yeah, it's just my dad. I'm not yelling slurs. It's just about the Cuban Revolution. We've developed, we've developed... On the news today, the boys have developed a new type of guy from Boston

who could say slurs with accuracy up to one half arc minute. It's just daredevil, I think. And that's how Mark Wahlberg was invented. So... So they laid a course out to keep her off of Kate Cod, And that's how Mark Wahlberg was invented. So they laid a course out to keep her off of Cape Cod, facing into the wind and weather, sort of lying to. Standard procedure, it still is. It's the best thing you can do when you can't find a safe harbor.

And Cape Cod is not a particularly, it's somewhat treacherous. The East Coast of the United States has a lot of shallow water, it's a gently sloping shallow, so it sneaks up on you. But further north, which it gets north of Long Island, there's a lot of little, you know, because of the glaciers and that kind of stuff, there's lots of little rocky sea mounts and stuff like that.

So it's not a smooth, if you're thinking of, if you're someone from Philly, it's not like a Jersey Shore, perfectly smooth coastline. You can blame the Laurent head ice sheet for that. And I do. Yeah. Fuck you, Greenland. During this time also, the Fort Mercer was steaming north, now she's a little further south, but she's experiencing the same weather, big strong ship, weather storms before, she's still making way for Portland. But again, by Sunday evening,

the weather's getting pretty bad and she starts lying to in the wind, just trying to ride it out. And it's nothing that, I mean, these ships are designed to go across the ocean. They're designed for this weather. They're not, you know, metallurgy aside, right? On paper, they're not, they're not, you know- Metalurgy aside. Metalurgy aside, right? On paper, they're not like ships that suck. They're not- Well they've been built across the Atlantic, right? And the Atlantic is famously, how can we put this, not a walk in the park. Right, it's- It's not a walk in the park.

Yeah, I'm not trying to do some Pacific Ocean where it's nice and peaceful, I'm trying to do the Atlantic, that's where, you know, remember when the oceans were hard. Yeah. Atlantic actually comes from the Latin for you will get your ass beat here, as opposed to Pacific, which is like Latin for like chill. Yeah. Yeah. The Pacific is very calm until it isn't.

The Atlantic wants to kill you all the time. Yeah. The Pacific in Latin, man, that just, the Pacific is just like, dude, we're gonna keef out, we're gonna chill, man, the Pacific is just like, dude, we're going to keef out, we're going to chill, we're just going to relax. And the Atlantic is, I don't know, do meth. Yeah. So, she's trying to write out the worst of it, but things started to get worse.

Ross, say the date. Monday, February 18th, 1952. So you can see on the right, this is the west- That was a good- Yeah, I enjoyed that a lot. Thank you. Yeah, they- the- the- I'm now looking at your John Maddening where you're drawing the pressure line like it's a movement line, or the isohyte.

That's okay. Oh, is that- is that wrong? I don't know, no, wait, hold on, because I'm looking at the real tiny version. Oh no, that is the movement of the low, you're right. So that's the movement of the low off the coast. And we have what's what's now basically a really straight. It's a classic nor'easter. It's a really strong nor'easter.

The it's a nine hundred seventy seven millibar low. There's getting Portland, I think, has the it still stands as like the fourth most snow they ever got. For those who are not in the know, a nor'easter is a particular type of storm that hits the northeast of the United States during the winter, delivers a lot of snow offshore, a lot of rough seas and wind and so on and so forth. Yeah. They're great.

I love when we get like four feet of snow. It's fantastic. You do. Yeah. They're awesome. And this, this is sort of a classic, um, this is like a classic nor Easter that, that forms, that forms off of like Carolinus and moves up the coast. It's worth saying, sorry, sorry, just worth saying. Um, so certainly in the, in the second picture here, uh, where you've got this formation of the wind, I mean the wind runs sort of along the isobars, right? So you get, so you've, and in this case you're going to have, well let me get this right,

it'll be anti-clockwise winds spinning around. Yes, counterclockwise in freedom words. Yes, yes, sorry, counterclockwise. And yes, so that's blowing off the coast for where like blowing from the coast onto the sea for where the, our, our, our two hero ships are at this point. Right. Yeah. So on the south side of the low, you would have like wind being pulled in from like the, the land and then on the northern side of low coming in from the sea. Yeah. And you can see the frontal boundary there.

Friction doesn't means that it doesn't and the Coriolis effect means it doesn't perfectly line up. But yeah, it's generally blowing in counterclockwise into the low. And it's an extra tropical cyclone, which is a typical that's what a nor'easter is. Sometimes, though, they do become semi tropical subtropical Sorry is the word for it in this case regardless the classification it is it would would be classified as a tropical storm That's how strong it is possibly even a low category one. Oh, we just don't have the thing the the data These weather maps work where people at the National Weather Service drawing them.

Right? So... Before you could fly an airplane into a... I bet this feels good as hell to be a meteorologist. Oh, I mean, yeah. It's a sick job. You get to draw all day and be like, oof, looks bad. Shit.

Damn, hope this one doesn't hit Tampa Bay. It didn't hit Tampa Bay. Yeah, it might rattle my drawing table. You have to pretend that you're like, man, yeah, I don't want this to intensify to a really cool big storm, because people will die, that would be horrible. I don't, you know, I would hate to have to draw one of those. Really cool ones that's like big. And also if you notice that the ISO lines there, the tighter the ISO bars are, the faster

the wind. And the the tighter the ISO bars are, the faster the wind and the steeper the pressure gradient. Yeah. So, um, people in Britain should be familiar with this because most of our weather comes from weather patterns that look like this. Like pretty much all of our weather does. These, these move offshore become European wind storms. They give them stupid names like storm, storm Frankie. No, that's a recent gimmick. We haven't always done that. That's a recent thing. Weather alert red, or whatever you guys use over there. I remember first time that, I

was like, oh we have a red alert! I was like, for what? The dukes? Wind, wind. You might get some roof slates knocked off. Oh my god, we're gonna get two inches of rain. That's one inch more than we usually get each day The two the two the jacks are gonna be soaked that I carry the fucking jacks are gonna be fucking soaked We pride ourselves in our dry jacks down here in Dingle Jacks down here in Dingle. Um. Uh.

Shouts out Dingle. Um, I- I- one of the few places I shit my pants. Um. Oh yeah. It was the 10,000 losses that I shit my pants on the Great Blasket Island. Uh. And all I got was this lousy change

of pants. Yeah. Which I had to- I had to wipe my ass with. And then, uh, discreetly dispose of in a protected environmental area. Dicking a grave for your pants with a trowel? Like your wild camping? Reading my Peg Sayers, uh, you know, story of the Blasket Islanders, why, you know, like- Just throwing a pair of shit-covered Levi's into a protected water course, and calling it good and leaving the country the next day.

The Irish- Doing a prayer nude from the waist down. That's how my Celtic ancestors did it, Roz. Why is that guy covered in brown woad? Oh, it's not woad. That's it. There's gonna be too many hallucinatory mushrooms and going to berserk around. All right. Weather. Jesus, this is going to be an eight hour

episode. Sorry, Devin. Yeah, we're already at two hours. Holy shit. So this is a bad storm. It's blown about 30, 35 knots inland. The cutoff, I always forget it, cut this part out. Yeah, that should take this episode down to a mere eight, you know, like seven, seven hours. Yeah, seven hours. Save it boys.

34 knots. That's what I thought it was. I wanted to double check. 34 knots is the low end for a tropical storm. Sixty four knots is a hurricane. Tropical storm in February, not very common. Yeah. So it wasn't a tropical storm, but it was tropical storm strength. And out at sea with the lack of friction, winds could just blow over the fucking ocean. Sixty, seventy knots gust blowing over the fucking ocean. 60, 70 knots, gusting into the 70s. And seas building to 50 feet.

Fuck that. I don't like that. I don't want to do that in a ship that isn't made out of cast iron. No, that's insanely... I wouldn't want to do that on a fucking oil rig. That's bad. This, this, so like I said, this nor'easter would be considered probably a strong, a strong tropical storm. So we have, we have, um, we ends up having, there's a phenomenon that happens here. Uh, this,

this low deep into 27 millibars in 24 hours. So that means, yes, folks, we have just experienced, uh, explosion sound. Explosive Cyclone. BRABRABRABRABRABRAAOOOOO. J-SUS J-SUS J-SUS. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. Is this what is also sometimes called a bomb cyclone? You're reducing a bomb cyclone, dude.

Sick. Oh, sick dog? Thank you, Pennsylvania. I believe since it's near Boston, it'd be wicked. It's a wicked. Yeah. Wicked cyclone. Liam, do the Boston voice, please.

It's just my dad. Explosive psychogec- cyclogenesis. Liam, what more do you fucking want? Leave me alone. There I was, it was March of 1968 and... I was high as a kite in the Massachusetts State House and I remember much of it. I was doing research on King Phillipsmore. Let me tell you about, let me tell you about Cuba for the next four and a half hours.

Let me tell you about the Metacom. Yeah, literally fucking that. That was my whole childhood. Uh, surprisingly Hebrew sounding name for Native American. Maybe the Mormons were on to something. No, they weren't. Refunded wizard reformed Egyptian. So crazy that Mitt Romney is president of the New England Commonwealth. He could be president if you voted for him.

So Dev, in post, can you add like a cool announcer guy reverb FX thing when I say explosive, psycho Genesis, Explosive, cyclogenesis Sunday, Sunday, Sunday at the municipal arena. Grave digger is facing up against explosive cycle. Genesis

having to throw away my jeans after I experience Cyclone so yeah, so real shit happened during a night neck. Yeah, you had to throw your pants If you think I had to shit my pants I was on an island what do you think these guys did all right? Let's go to the next slide bring me my brown pants I love that part of master commander where they bring the the wax tarpaulin drawers So for the guys who shit their pants fighting the yeah So So, for the guys who shit their pants fighting the a-khalom. So- May I just say, fuck this. So this is from the pretty mid movie, The Finest Hours, of which I probably should've

said at the beginning, a lot of my shit is based on the book, and so a couple other sources online, but The Finest Hours is a good book. The movie's mid, it's got Chris Pine, it's got a shoehorn love interest because you can't just have guys on a fucking boat. See, that's why Master Commander did it well. It's guys on a boat. There's no romance. Guys, what a fucking boat?

Are you fucking gay? Sometimes it's just guys on the boat, you know, or it's guys on the submarine. Well if you see a bloke, none of these guys like their wives that much. No fucking gay women around. None of that shit. Real, real, yo, it's just real fucking sacred band of thieves type shit. Real, just boys, men, being, just men, just hanging out with the bros. That's what we're trying to do. All right So this is from the movie, but the movie and nothing sexual

It's gotta be a bicep Come hang out with us in our party tank. This is when you have fucking five hosts with ADHD. No, not a single one of us is neurotypical. No, no, no, that's correct, yep. No. I haven't had a drink in like two weeks. This is, this is, this is pure, this is, yeah, me, this is pure Tom. I haven't had a drink in like two weeks. This is, this is, this is pure. This is amazing. This is pure Tom.

I haven't had a drink in like two seconds. Oh, I don't think so. You got a sponsor milkshake. Your sponsor for that. Yeah. The cutest sponsor ever. So the CGI is actually pretty good on this one. In the movie. I watched it on this one in the movie. I watched it the first time I had COVID. All right.

So the Pendleton is lying to, trying to hold position, whether as you said, tried and true tactic. The most important thing though is keeping an eye on the lee shore where the wind is blowing you into any land that the wind might blow you into. And this is still a concern, even today, doubly a concern back when navigation was whipping out the chart and doing some dead reckoning, maybe have some Lorian Sea. They don't have GPS. They have a compass, and they have dividers, and they have, y'know, a fuckin' sextant. ALICE Yeah, and you're doing this in the bridge that is currently being like that's White like Neptune. It's a giant unseasoned cast iron pan

You're in the lodge cash. They're both the cute little mini ones you get at the No, I mean it's got paint on it. So I guess it's enameled. Mm-hmm That ain't gonna save you the that the. But you can use soap on it. So when the 17th, as the sun sets, things are shitty but manageable. By midnight, things are still kind of shitty, but the waves are, as the book describes, the size of small buildings. By morning, the seas are so bad that the crew are forbidden to as the book describes, the size of small buildings by morning, the seas are so bad that the crew are forbidden to go on the weather deck.

You cannot leave. Yeah. Um, you are fun fact. You are exposed to weather on the weather deck. Um, just, yeah, you do not want to know where it's going on the poop deck. What is, I'm on the, it's wet. It's where the jacks are. It's where I am. What is the weather deck? Just the deck that is exposed to the atmosphere. Okay, so is this like the lower parts of the ship in the middle?

It's any deck that's exposed to weather. It's a fancy way of saying outside. Yeah, you're not allowed to go outside. You can't... Okay, I see. You, you're not allowed to go outside. Right? You can't... You might have a safer, more enclosed deck. Actually, Tom is fucking idiot, and it's the...

It's the weather deck is actually... Sound off in the comments, tell me how much of a fucking idiot you are. Go in the comments, everyone. You've made it this far. Well, this is the thing They self select the ones who make it this far the ones We are I know this one has all the telly-tubby

Air let things on the CGI. So yeah shout out to the CGI people. Yeah, how about that? Hey, it looks better than a Marvel movie. Yeah, it is a production. Mm-hmm. Oh Yeah, sorry movie. Yeah. This is a Disney production though. What? Oh yeah. Sorry. So by early morning, right, it's that bad and the lee shore is coming closer. The Pendleton is not able to, and this is where like lying to, the formula lying to, right, you want to be making enough forward progress. You're not getting pushed as a lee shore, but you don't want to be going so fast you're gonna ride the waves poorly. And at this point you can't go fast enough to outmaneuver the weather without shaking

the shit out of everybody and getting some nasty slams. Or having the helmsman literally... And I don't even think you can do it. You know, a powerboat, you can go up and down on the throttle as you take seas. In this case, right, there's probably a significant... The engine response time's not quick enough, so it's not going to... Yeah, it's not a fucking, you know... It's not an outboard motor.

Yeah, it's not a fucking Mercury 150. So by 5.50am in the morning on Friday, Monday... Just say 5.50am. I put that in there just to annoy you, Liam. I know you did. Oh, deep cut for the real heads. And he still caught it, which is impressive. The Pendleton took a wave so hard that she was cloven in twain, between the number six

and number nine tanks. Ah. Nice. I would hate to take a wave so hard that it was cloven in twain. Between the six and nine decks and tanks, yeah. One of the things that is sort of scuttlebutt is, she might have like bottomed out, and uh... Daddy.

I would hate to... Be pushed into shallow waters, we're talking like 34, 30 foot waters, where the trough, you actually get this for that one, where like the trough of the wave will actually take the ship and slam it into the seafloor. Cause yeah, cause I suppose the water might be like 15 feet, if you've got shallow areas, the water is only 15 feet deep. The boat's just going to slam straight through that. So one of the, one of the, there's just no decisiveness. The people on the ship report that the, it was like the ship got picked up by God and slammed into the water.

Oh, fuck that. Yeah. Running aground. Yeah, like where in the middle of the fucking ocean. Where you're not expecting the running ocean. There's a video game called Sailwind that has a pretty realistic water component, and that can actually happen to you in the game. People complain on the Discord, they're like, oh, this is, no, it actually is realistic. It can happen. But we don't know- But the movie Interstellar also very realistic in this sense.

And there's no way to determine for certain if that actually happened based on what happened following this. The stern of the ship, as we mentioned, contains power plant engineering propulsion. That was still afloat. Because of the Titanic, we have a much better watertight compartment design. So they were able to slam all the bulkhead doors shut. The stern is afloat and powered. The bow was not. The bow is just bobbing in the fucking ocean. The front fell off. The front was not. The bow is just bobbing in the fuckin' ocean.

The front fell off. ALICE The front fell off. Like in the fucking bed. SEAN The people of Stern, they're alive. ALICE Oh wait, so that implies there were some people in the bow. SEAN There were nine people in the bow. They had the radio in the bow.

ALICE Oooh. SEAN But they don't got electricity anymore. ALICE Or a floating vessel. Right. That's gone poorly. It's still, it is still floating. Oh, okay. Oh God. But it's, but it's, it's got no propulsion.

It's very weird to think of, it's very weird to think of two halves of a ship still being able to successfully float, but uh, another thing. It's very, it's kind of cool, but right, they were still... I mean, the ships were not horribly designed in the sense, so they were still able to... The people in the stern were still actually able to maneuver. Bloody hell. Yeah, in reverse. It was easier to go in reverse. But... Yeah, because the front fell off. The front fell off. The stern had no radio. So the people in the front got all the radio

and no power. The people in the, plus the people of Boston can't even hear you shouting slurs over the storm. SEAN Yeah, fucking Marky Mark can't pick it up. There was no way for either section of the ship to call a May Day. They're absolute nightmare. And the movie does a really good job showing that the ship split and just the faces on the guys are like, what the fuck? You don't expect your ship to split in half in just one go. To worse still, splits in half and you haven't died. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And... Damn, I still have to do the survival shit, god damn it. And... I'm so tired of this. Yeah, and damn I still have to do the survival shit god damn it That's the most the most ros reaction you can have in any kind of emergency situation Why have I exactly should be killed instantly no? I'm still alive. I can still get out of this somehow Damn it. I was outside of the really difficult. Yeah, yeah It's it's it's not that it's not the despair I can take the despair, it's the hope.

I didn't want the hope. Come on, come on. Come on, hit me with something. Come on. Oh my god. You just have to move closer to strategically important locations. So... I'm not gonna kill myself, but something should do it to me. Come on. You want to get taken out in the explosion or the fireball at least, or just be pulverized by the shockwave, right? That's not happening on this boat.

And even if the Pendleton had the radio, the Coast Guard's already busy. Oh, why? Let's see. Next slide, please. No, Gareth, that's not the Loch Ness Monster, that's Cape Cod. I was gonna say, I did think that was a Diplodocus in the thumb. Stealing, stealing South Coast valor having a Chatham, although I assume you pronounce it Chatham. It is Chatham.

They do tend, in New England they do tend to say it a little closer, but every town in New England is either like, Penobscacobus set, or like, Cunningham. Penobscabud. It's Wynneham. It is Framelingham in England, we don't know why we dropped the L. Bawitch. I really enjoyed the Lib Dems winning here annotation.

I love, this is from the Boston Globe too. Yeah. So a shout out. Don't, don't copyright strike this. Uh, so at 8 AM in the morning on the 18th, the Fort Mercer, uh, crew noticed a slight crack on the starboard side. Now, unlike the Pendleton, the crew of the Fort Mercer was able to radio for help and the message was actually widely received. There were vessels out, it's the 18th, so the storm, it's picked up by the Coast Guard Cutter East Wing. And the East Wing was out because it was looking for a fishing boat that was overdue and never came back.

It had an Italian name too, I can't remember what it was, Pasalina or something like that. ALICE The fucking MV Italian Bill Clinton. JUSTIN Uh, Guillermo... what is- is it Guillermo? No, that's Spanish. Yeah. The Guillermo del Toro. ALICE The Guillermo del Toro. JUSTIN Uh, what if Bill Clinton was Italian?

ALICE I'm not even gonna try that. JUSTIN Alright, he's falling asleep, keep it moving, Tom. ALICE I'm not falling asleep, Keep it moving. All right. I'm not falling asleep. I'm fine. I just went to go grab a beer out of the fridge. So so I am fucking sweating like a goddamn pig right now. I'm podcasting too hard. So the East wind the East wind was about 150 miles away looking for this. The Italian fishing vessel has probably had a new Haven or something like that. And it was looking like the good pizza there.

It was looking grim. They didn't really find anything. And kind of like a sad aside is they only ever found bits of pieces of that boat. Don't go out in the fucking storm. And have you learned nothing? Did you guys not see the perfect storm? I was going to say? You say that's not talking to the perfect storm, it's set in the future. Guy who looks exactly like me getting swept off the weather deck is that good. So the skipper the East wind decides to move. All right, we're gonna we're gonna go to

help the Fort Mercer. It's a they know it's it's gonna take about three hours to get there. to go to help the Fort Mercer. It's a, they know it's, it's going to take about three hours to get there. Um, and, uh, the Fort Mercer at this point is reporting 68 foot waves. That's, uh, that's, uh, that's taller than my house. Yeah. It's taller than two of my houses. Enjoying the specificity of, of, of 68 feet of like, in the send a guy out to count them? In the book, I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I Let me take out my sextant. Let me take out my sextant. Ah shit, it hit me the fucking eye. Going down. So it weathers fairly well until about 1140 AM. And at this point the crack starts to rapidly expand and by noon the ship splits in half. Oh wow.

Yeah. Well. Yeah. So we got two fucking ship splits in half. Oh, oh yeah. Well yeah So we got two fucking ships split in half. No, we have four ships. We have four ships now. We have four ships Yeah, we have the reverse ship of Theseus here Again mitosis Yeah, Theseus is flotilla kind of sick band name. The they were able to prepare like ahead of time, the bulkheads are sealed off. But again, the same situation, the stern of the Fort Mercer has all the power propulsion. The bow has the command, the radio and no energy.

In this case, the Fort Mercer's bow, first it floats away. It takes like two two bangs for it to really split in half. It was like you can pull it apart. So like I pulled apart once and then another wave pulled it, completely separated it. And the bow again bobs away forward and then the waves start pushing it back. And for some fucking reason, the Fort Mercer engine, they shut it down, and the guys in the stern are like, yo yo, turn the engine back on! And they slam the fucker in reverse so that the bow...

I guess the Fort Mercer bow was trying to reconnect, and they back the fuck out. ALICE Yeah, they ghosted their own guys. All of this is going on- ALICE Fake friends never believed in magic until I saw my dog turn into a snake. The last thing you want to do is go down in history as the only ship that collided with itself. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. That would be quite fun. And in this case, still no one knows about the Pendleton. Next slide, please. All right. So, so, so, so news of the Fort Mercer spreads. The Coast Guard activates for like a response. So there's a bunch of cutters all over New England. Those who don't know

a cutter is a Coast Guard vessel, 65 feet length longer. So they're the bigger ones they can weather. Most of these are like decommissioned or former destroyers that were turned over either turned over by the Navy or the Coast Guard used them in naval service during World War II you know like destroyer escort type of vessels the rescue to read of the Fort Mercer was on so the Coast Guard's like gets fucking send them all out wherever gets there first so it's a race the East Wind is sort of like the mobile command post there even there even is a USNS ship the United States naval ship, which is not, it could be further the USS, it's part of like the merchant marine.

At the time I think it was the Military Transport Command? ALICE That's Military Sealift Command, I think. SEAN Yes, yes. It was a predecessor. The MTS- ALICE It's a naval ship, yep. SEAN Yeah. So, the Shorts- it's called the shorts place I like it when they name boats after knots or like knot related things. It's kind of cute

mmm, and So it just becomes a matter of time right the the cutters they're very seaworthy, but they are slow Now the Fort Mercer was in range of several Coast Guard stations and in the interest of time the Fort Mercer was in range of several Coast Guard stations, and in the interest of time it was decided that we're gonna get the 36 foot motor lifeboats up and ready. JUSTIN Oh god. SEAN Now look at this 36 foot motor lifeboat to the right, they are... The motor lifeboats are the coolest shit the Coast Guard does. Besides, like, you know, the helicopters. I think...

ALICE I will note that there's no... SEAN Besides jumping onto the moving drug submarine. Yes. There's no roof on this. That's okay. Put a top up, you know. I was going to say, like, the UK equivalent of this does- the famous Coast Guard orange boats that are, I'm going to be honest, are based.

They are very cool. They have bimini tops? So they have collapsible tops. Yeah. I was just like, my immediate was like, Oh, is this thing going to get swamped? You know? Well, so funny you should say that. So what's really cool, it like the RNLI, their lifeboats as well, they're designed to be self-righting. Yeah. You cannot, you cannot get these upside down. Yeah. If you tried.

They are cool as shit. If you go look up, there's some great, like early 2000s compilations of the guys off of Oregon taking their 47 foot motor lifeboats out and trying to flip them to let the bodies hit the floor. You're fucking saving guys, you dumbasses. Why are you doing it? And you know there's some fucking coasties like, dude, this is going to be so fucking tight. This is good. I love this song. Cause all these, cause you know, cause what you actually have is like army guys doing war crimes compilations to that song. Uh, and the coast guards are like, now we're going to, we're going to try and flip our boat as hard as possible.

While they're sitting at the top, so they get, cause they have to train to get used to, We're gonna try and flip our boat as hard as possible. While they're sitting at the top, because they have to train to get used to... You know how people will flip their kayak, you have to learn how to write your kayak? Which is, to me, is an anxiety inducing idea. ALICE Yeah, simply don't get in the kayak. SEAN No, fuck kayaks. ALICE They offered me this one time, and I'm like, fuck that, I'm gonna get in the sailboat, and then I flip the know about that. They offered me this one time and I'm like, fuck that, I'm gonna get in the sailboat and

then I flip the fucking sailboat. I understand it is possible to right yourself in a rowing skull, but I was terrified to try and do it. Especially since it was right under the Pennsylvania Avenue bridge and I was like, I'm gonna knock my head on the ground if I try and flip this thing. I don't want to know what's under the water unless I can see it. It's slimy. It's very slimy.

Seeing a bunch of slime covered murder weapons. No thanks. No, I have inadvertently flipped at that location and my foot touched the ground and it was not, it did not feel nice. It was very slimy. Exactly. I have done snorkeling where I didn't realize there was a shipwreck underneath and it was like far enough down it was in the in the gloom and that scared the shit out

of me. Fuck. Fuck being underwater. I like being on top of the water. Like being on top of the water. Very nice being under the water. We were not supposed to be in that realm. It's not our realm. Leave that to the leave that to the fish. And billionaires, apparently. Yeah. Yeah. Well, no, the mist of billionaires. So they're like, all right, guys, you got to get into the lifeboats. Let's, let's get these ready. You guys might be able to make it there on time because these can haul ass. And the, but then the racer is throwing waves twice their length. That's not, I've been in like six foot seas on a

boat. That fucking sucks. On a boat. 68 doesn't sound like fun. No. So they- Two foot on a river sucks. Two feet sucks. Yeah, two feet fucking sucks. The, the, uh, this is the old school Coast Guard era. They're fucking soft as shit now. They got like a risk management model. They talk about, they have like safe words. They talk about, are we green? Are we amber? Are we red? Same. They, you know, hey, do we have the personnel?

Do we have the equipment? Back then it was like, you gotta go out, but you don't gotta come back. That's literally the unofficial model of the Coast Guard up until, until, until woke ruined it. Um, and remember when the sea men were hard. That's a confusing sentence. Yeah. Uh, so the cruise, uh, there's, that's a confusing sentence. Yeah. So the cruise, there's there's the two closest lifeboat stations, the two

closest lifeboat stations are in Nantucket and Chatham and they're told to get ready. Chatham has two and it's kind of weird. Chatham Harbor. It's like on a neck called Tom's Neck, which is kind of cool. And on one side is Chatham Harbor, the

other the other side of Stage Harbor. So they got one in Stage Harbor, one in Shatam Harbor. And the reason is the geography of the southern part of Cape Cod was at Monomoy Island. Stage Harbor can come out when there's an Eastern, like you can go out of the west side, the southwest and go around Monemoy Island where you don't have to cross a shallow bar to get out to sea. And the Chatham Harbor, if the wind is blowing from the east, you're gonna go over Chatham Bar, directly into the face of the wind with

breaking seas. So it's like depending on where the wind is blowing, you could send out one from the other. So they get these boats ready to go. The Nantucket lifeboat leaves first around noon. Remember, they're still heading to Fort Mercer. We don't know about the Pendleton. The Nantucket lifeboat gets its shit wrecked and they go and they turn tail to the Pollock Rip lighthouse. The only light ship. Polak RIP lighthouse, the only light ship. And it's called Polak RIP because no one told the Polish guys that it was a light ship, not a lighthouse. So, you know, yeah. So so they like the crew gets banged up.

There's like lacerations and shit. So they they're like, we're tying up to the fucking light ship and we're just chilling there. Like we're we're we're not coming back yet. We went out. We're not coming back yet. Like it's like, you know, come back with your boat or on it. Sort of attitude. So they went away until things get a little nicer before they go back out. At this time, a little bit later at 1230, the Coast Guard, the State Harbor lifeboat, part of the Chatham lifeboat station 36 383 coxswain by all-time name guy Donald Banks

I have a question. He's the coxswain and Presumably he calls the strokes. Yes, and it's got a I would assume a some kind of reciprocating 95 horsepower to stroke Yeah single engine too, I believe I I recreated this in the game Stormworks, which sucks, don't ever play it. Yeah, yeah. They sold me all this, build and rescue, and then it's like, I got guns and zombies now, you can go to space, I wanna build a fucking coast guard boat and rescue people. No, the reason why Stormworks sucks is because they expect you to design like a diesel engine from first principles out of LEGO. Alright, but I like that part.

It's, it's a great game that isn't very good. Yeah, there's some great, every single aspect of the game is half baked. Oh, so transport from Fingertip. The learning curve is very, very steep. I learned how to do logic gates because of it, that was kinda cool. So I feel bad for my wife like what's Tom doing in the fucking go on the computer for 12 hours I'm learning logic gates I'm building a boat in the game look I look at the

motor revs and I have like I have like limiters on it so it doesn't spin around the dial yeah because you actually have to do shit like that that game sucks don't play it it's bad game I play play it all the time. Don't don't don't put yourself in my Hopping out of a session of factorial. I see you've been on the mountain blade banner alert subreddit Um, I fuck this game fucking sucks 700 hours. Um, I To play Civ 4. Yeah So so Donald bangs god god I fucking love that name, he bangs his way out of Stage Harbor, not Stag Harbor, Stage Harbor for the Fort Mercer stern, they gotta go all the way around

the Montemoy Islands, they find out their radio's defective, they can rec- Everyone's radio's perfect. No one knew how to make a radio back in the day. No, no. Everything fucking- Swiss cheese theory here, right? Much like steel, radios in those days depended on crystals. Yes, literally. And the crystals- yeah, no, I know.

And the crystals were fucked. The crystals were invented by a woman, so- It's like a bridge too far, the fucking- yeah, you got woke radios. But then you could fix it, like a child could fix it then. That's the only thing. But so they may they also make the way to the Pollock Rip Lighthouse light station, light boat, not lighthouse, light ship. It's there on the left ship. Yes, they're on the left. It's it was still afloat in the era of digital photography.

And they use their radio. Let Chatham knows is like, we can only receive signals like so I can hear you, but I can't. They popped the the chirp. Oh, shit. The chirp chirp on their boost mobile.

Again. All right. Next slide, please. We're making we're making our way. We're making progress. All right. So this becomes like a pretty region wide Coast Guard search. The weather still sucks,

but it's starting to get better as the day wears on. And it's clear enough that the Coast Guard can send some good old PBYs out. The Catalinas. Yeah, lovely. I love a Catalina. Nice. They're not going to land on the ocean, obviously, but they're sending out the coordinate search from the air. So they arrive on scene around 2pm, and they discover the Fort Mercer stern. So they're the first to see it. And you can see the Fort Mercer stern on the right there.

Jesus. Yeah. There are tons of photographs of these ships if you look them up. I found a lot of these on some Scandinavian guys' website. Oh, don't ask too many questions about that. And this is something odd. So, Chatham lifeboat station has a radar in a watchtower to look out on the water. Which is not very common anymore. I guess it must have been left over from World War II.

But the radar was down. The U-boats and shit. Yeah, the radar was down in the morning and they finally got it working. And they turn it on and they see two objects about five miles off the shore. But the Mercer is 32 miles off of the shore. And so the guys in chat are like, what the fuck is going on? Who is out in this in this weather So they'd say they rated the PB PB wise to say hey, can you go do a swing by?

Apparently they can't see shit. They're like fighting the wind there You know because this is like the era of mechanical linkage. This isn't like a fucking Airbus fly-by-wire, which I literally could fly Thank you for the little joystick. You know, it's fine. I know how to program the computer now. I know how to do the knobs. I played Microsoft Light Simulator. I can fly an Airbus.

I have the Fly-By-Wire A320 with the manual. More like Die-By-Wire. Yeah, right. Oh, that's really all I'm going. Come on now. Yeah. So the PBY gets there like two hours later, and they're like, there's a T2 tanker, the bow is off the Pollock rip, like off Pollock rip, not too far from the lightship.

And he goes, the paint's... that's not the former, sure. Someone has repainted the shit in the store. Because the bow, they hadn't found the bow yet. So they're like, what the fuck? And then he swoops down low enough and sees the Pendleton on the bow, he's like, are you fucking kidding me? There's fucking two of them! What the fuck? So the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the...

The... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... The... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... The... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... The... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... The... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... The... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... The... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... The... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the...

The... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... The... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... The... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... The... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... The... her at the dinner. Yeah. So the first ship on scene is the short splice. And ironically, a boat, a ship named after a splice in a line doesn't have the equipment nor really the capability to maneuver safely close to it. So they don't really do anything and they decide we're just going to if anyone to like jump off, we'll come in and pick them up. But we're just going to like keep an eye on things. But yeah, there's two,

there's two there. There are now, you know, Mr. President, second, uh, a second tanker has, uh, hit the Polakrip lighthouse. I don't know. We now have four tankers. Yeah, we have four tankers. Yeah. Next slide please. All right. And in case you were like, where's my fucking geographic reference? Here we go. There's another one. Thisers. Yeah. Next slide please. All right. And in case you were like, where's my fucking geographic reference? Here we go. There's another one. This one.

I forget what newspaper this one was from. But I love a nice hand drawn diagram in a newspaper. Yeah, that is very nice. It is nice. It's nice hand lettering here and everything like that. It's gorgeous. The different italicizing for like islands and then, you know, the font for bodies of water.

Love it. Local on the right hand side where the Pollock Rip Lighthouse is. That's where the bow of the Pendleton is to the northwest. Alright, so while we've realized that there's a fucking bow of the Pendleton, a woman living in Chatham like hears the slurs finally. She hears, she hears, she hears, she hears, she hears, she hears, she hears, she hears, and she hears seven of them. And she gets up and looks out the window and said, Oh, holy shit, there's a boat there. There's like half of half a ship. And she calls it Olock.

Wap. Wap. I just imagine a guy standing there like going in circles like standing in place spinning. So if there's a Doppler effect going on and that's how they can tell how far away it is. Polak! Oh, okay, yeah. Iris! Alright, how about that?

Yeah, see, this is still highly classified outside of the war thunder forums, but this is still how all military radar works. In those coming to the F-35, there's like three of these going at any one time. It's much worse than that in there, we're only saying the ones you can say in polite society. Yeah. Uh, the anti-Italian ones, yeah. And Polish.

Um, the Irish, they're Irish have become presidents, so we can't really say that one. Not yet. It's 1952. Oh no, I guess Biden's Biden. Papist. I guess Barack Obama is, does count? JFK, dude, come on. Nah, I'm gonna go with Obama.

Papist. I'm gonna go with Obama. It's a paaapist. I'm gonna go with that. Barrick Oba- Barrick Obama. The Barrick Obama Toll Plaza. That's a real thing. Soooo, okay.

So they confirm, they actually send They send a duck boat on land. To go drive and take a look. and see, is there a boat? Is there a ship there? And they go and the orders are, well, if you could take it out and there. No, we're not taking it out. So they drive the duck boat back and they get they get the

CG 36, 500 ready to go. For those of you who are not aware of the duck boat is an amphibious vehicle, which, you know, is used for military purposes. It's like a big bus. It can also be a boat. Listen to friends of, oh, they're friends of this podcast too, friends of the show, Beyond the Breakers, where I was on the talk about the Philadelphia duck boat incident.

Yes. They did murder a lot of people here. And there's a great episode on the Dave Matthews tour bus dumping its effluent tank onto a passing duck boat full of people. Alright. Anyway. So, Chatham gets sands up the lifeboat. All right, we're gonna get ready to go out.

The timeline gets weird here. All right, so while this is going on, Donald Bang's boat makes their way to the Pendle's bow. They find their sign of life, then they're ordered to go to where the Pendle's in Stern. They make their way through there. Now around sunset, which at this time is about 5.20 p.m., the 36500 departs Chatham Harbor.

Now, you can see on the chart here, if you go look on a modern chart of Chatham Harbor, it's one of those charts where it's just blue with no depth indicated, it just says variable. Oh dear. The Chatham Bar is one of the most treacherous bodies of water on the East Coast. It is infamous. The guys, there's a reason the lifeboat station's there.

Because dumbasses take their boat out and it gets swamped. You can see it shallows up fairly quickly the chart here. I got from the CG 36 500 Facebook page The the I guess I guess it's the people who restored it but the the chart there is from the 1950s, so it's relatively true to the time period and and the You could see that it's it's it it's gotta come out in real shower water, 10 foot breakers. Um, it's going to suck.

The coxswain of, of the, um, the, the CG 36, 400 big dick Bernie Weber. Um, he kind of, the movie shows him as like being like this like resolute brave guy. And he apparently was like, please fucking call me back. Please fucking call me back. Please fucking call me back. Please fucking call me back. Please fucking call me back. Please fucking call me back. I hope that they, if they ever do a biopic of me, that's how they do me as well. It's just like any, the experience in which I was mostly crying and shitting on myself, they're like forward, onwards.

Yeah, right. Doing the charge of the light brigade in the background. Yeah, I got you. This was the bravest podcaster who ever lived. Yeah, it's much like we're having to cut out all of me complaining about the running time of this. Yeah, no, I was brave the whole time. Please, Sabaton, write a cool song about me. So yeah, it's called like strength of determination. It's 11 minutes long. With bad Latin. It's 11 minutes long with bad Latin Staminatus In oceanum perditum

Swedish paramount Yeah, so This this this begins probably one of the coolest parts of Coast Guard lore. The movie, The Finest Hours focus on this. You can again read the book. The book does a good job of kind of taking the timeline. It splits it up like Tolkien does once, once the, once the fellowship breaks. Um, so you have part of the book focuses on Bernie Weber. He could be like the sort of Frodo character.

Um, one of them focuses on, uh, what's the guy's name? Dick, Dick, Dick Buck. Uh, um, uh, what's the name? Bangs, Donald Bangs. Dick Bangs. It's Dick Bangs. Donald Bangs. It's Donald Bangs.

He can be, he could be like, um, you know, Aragorn and company, uh, running to the, to Rohan anyway. Um, so, so it takes it like chronological order, but focusing on each group, uh, it does it really well. Uh, next slide please. All right. Here's big Dick Bernie Weber. That's what he looks like. We like a powerful man with a near unibrow. He is not. Scared of everything except tweezers. Yeah. Yeah. Nothing except tweezers. Yeah.

Scared of everything except tweezers. What a life. I had to get my unibrow waxed before a wedding once. Aww Ross. Just having your pair of like self soothing tweezers with you all the time. I got my pair of weighted tweezers for when I'm getting overwhelmed or uh, I'm getting overstimulated by all the other scary things around me. Sometimes that's just how it is on this bitch of an earth.

I gotta tell you, I've worked in those class over the oh man You're scared of everything. I really feel bad for you Not Chris pine not fuck boy Chris pine way to wait way too hot. He's got those Liv Tyler lips Mmm, hey Liv Tyler. What's up? It's not gonna work Tom You're married. I like it. I've got all pants for love, Tyler. Probably good for you. Probably keep it moving.

We're at almost three goddamn hours. It's still a safety third. I'm getting hateful messages from my wife. We're getting there. We're getting there. You got two more nights of this limb. So around. So it's it's nighttime and they make the way across Chatham Bar around 6pm.

Please note this is what true Sigma on his grind set looks like. So crossing the bar at this point, I mean, so there's a reason that crossing the bar is a euphemism for dying in nautical parlance. This is a treacherous bar he's got to cross. What do you have to do to cross the bar? It's- A lot of studying. You've got to basically gun it and sing rock of ages I was thinking put on the 11 minute long sabaton song. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah about over. Yes. I um, I mean the rude sandstorm

One time I was I was uh, my wife heard me listening to sabaton out loud and she's like turn that off This is music that dyash listens to uh, you know. It's making me anxious. I love that Sabaton song the black banner's in for us. Yeah. Uh, fucking Sabaton, do a song, do a song about Pittsburgh Grandad. Um. Uh, shit.

All right. All right. We're almost there. We're getting close. It's called Honor of Combat. You know, he says iron instead of iron. So they're gunning it to get over the bar, and it requires like timing it. This is where, to see the movie, the movie doesn't kind of, it flows weird, it doesn't really show like the effort, and I think in a flows weird. It doesn't really show like the effort.

And I think in a really realistic way, it doesn't show like the wave sequence. There's too much time between the waves. Um, a rogue wave breaks the fucking window and shatters the glass all over their fucking faces and it blows the compass out. No, no toughened glass gets shredded. So they have no navigation. You're not going to whip out a fucking chart and sextant on your boat in, you know, 10, 15 foot breakers. Well, that's cowards talk. Yeah. Yeah. You have fucking Joshua Slocum just like shaking

his head sadly from heaven. Like back in my day, you know, I, we used to have the road, the boats out by hand. Which is true. So they nearly capsized at one point, they say there's a 45 degree angle. It's a self-rating boat, but I'm not sure how good the self-rating is in the breakers. So Bernie's like, fuck it, send it. But it doesn't move. The engine dies. The boat capsized so hard that the engine was starved of fuel. So they send the engineer down there to, as this boat is like bobbing

in the breakers to go fuck, he's going to prime the goddamn engine. And he's getting slammed into the fucking thing. It's hot. He eventually gets the motor running. And they, again, send it fucking full throttle. They make it across the bar. They're covered in blood. Like, shit fucking sucks. Next slide, please.

All right. So Bangs returns to the Pendleton's bow while this is going on. After a cutter, one of the cutters that responds reports signs of life on board. One of the survivors jumps, but is unable to be rescued, they lose him in the dark. That's the only person who was ever seen alive from the Pendleton, and he wasn't seen alive for long. ALICE Double oof.

Man fucks up the like, extreme difficulty parkour jump. And this is a photo taken after she ran aground, and came to a stop. You probably could've lived by not jumping. It's possible, yeah. But when they finally get on board everyone's dead. Hypothermia. They had no heat. No heat? Okay, yeah.

Yeah, next slide. That's horrifying. Okay, yeah. Uh, yeah, next slide. So, that's horrifying. It is horrifying. This is the Pendleton Stern. The CG36500 is able to meet up with it. Now, this is on its side, it was not on its side when they come to rescue it, it's bobbing in the ocean.

Bernie is able to time his vessel. And do you see that little ladder, the Jacob's ladder hanging down the side? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how they got off the ship into the 36 foot motor lifeboat. Everyone except one guy is able to make it off the stern. It's kind of sad.

There's, it was the ship's cook. Shouts out to Tiny, the fat guy, kind of given, you know, the era of giving the ironic nickname. So RIP. By all accounts, like a friendly funny guy, he was not able to make it down the ladder. He fell off the ladder. Oh, that's not good. Yeah. And you can see just in this situation, imagine trying to make that jump down the side of a boat. Yeah. And you could see just in this situation, imagine trying to make that jump down the

side of a boat. Yeah. I've been alongside a 200, what's it, 287 foot boat, a ship in a small, in a 25 foot boat while in the Delaware Bay. That was intimidating. I can't imagine doing that in 50, 60 foot seas. Yeah. I've been on ladders on the sides of buildings.

They're not even moving. And I'm like, this is unpleasant. I am, I am not doing well here on this ladder. They, so every, these guys are getting hypothermic. The crew, the crew of the boat, Bernie's crew is getting hypothermic. They don't have the neoprene drysuits, right? They're- You're wearing like fifteen layers of wool. Yeah. Exactly, yeah.

Yeah, World War II leftover shit. And they're getting cold. The station says, alright, go to the east wind, and dump off the guys there, and go to the Pendleton's bow and try and get those guys. Bernie says, there's no fuckin' way in hell I'm doin' that. And he goes back to chat him. He does get almost, like, discharged for that. Because he disobeyed a direct order. But he was saying, I'm not killin' these guys.

These guys, we're gonna die. Like, if I die, these guys aren't, they don't know where we are, we don't have any fucking compass. Like... ALICE Some Coast Guard Stalingrad shit. Yes. Alright, next slide. ALICE I'm sending in more lifeboats. SEAN Here's the Fort Mercer.

So the Fort Mercer is a little more fortunate. The Morphers, you have the bow there and you have the stern on the right hand side. The Fort Mercer crew is able to be rescued by the Eastwind and a bunch of other boats acting in unison. You see one of the cutters there patrolling nearby it. Overall, this was a success as a rescue.

I know that it's weird that this has got a mostly happy ending. Most of the disasters you guys have are pretty fucking depressing. And the El Faro was really sad. Merchant Free Enterprise, very sad. So this one, it's sad. People died because of shitty engineering, but the Coast Guard fucking nailed this. Despite all odds being against them. No one in the Pendleton Bell was found alive.

So yeah, that fucking sucks. Unsurvivable. Alright, good, next slide. So this is the CG36500, now restored. They actually, there's some cute pictures out there. They gave Bernie the helm and let him drive it around again. Aww. Yeah.

So, after the rescue, Weber's a fucking hero. Even though he almost gets discharged for that, the Coast Guard very quickly realizes this guy's a fucking, he's badass, and he exemplifies the values. And I'm sure there's a little bit of good PR for the Coast Guard in there too right? They're gonna give him the gold life saving medal which is basically like the highest medal you can get for a rescue and the rest of the crew is silver and he's like fuck that give them all fucking gold you don't you don't either I will refuse the medal unless you give everyone the gold. Hell yeah. So he stood up for his crew.

Great example of crew resource management here. Yeah, sort of 1952? CRM, crew resource management or crew receive medal. Still cooking. Yeah. So, you know, it's sort of that old school naval, like the US Navy, well the Coast Guard's not part of the Navy, but the Sea Services of the United States have been the closest thing to like an aristocracy in a way in the American military. Very nepotistic, very, you know, about hierarchy.

The senior service. Yeah, the senior service. You know, he kind of stood up for that. They wanted to make him an officer. He's like, nah, I'm good. I'm just going to be a, you know, an NCO. Yeah. Let me be a normal guy.

Real working stuff. I don't want to join your weird club. The movie has a whole love plot where like, he's like, trying trying talking to a girl over the phone and stuff like that and He marries the girl. He has a happy nice life. They do send him on a weird Goodwill tour Where at later on they sent him to Vietnam and have him drive a riverine patrol boat and like have him like shoot Shoot like so he leaves the coast guard. He's like I did this to save lives I'm the one I don't want to drive a fuck. I don't want to be in a brown water Navy shooting people. Very weird.

This country is bizarre. The fate of the rest of the sort of the boats. So the Fort Mercer, all right, let's go to the Pendleton first. The Pendleton, the stern still lies off Montemoy Island. It was never recovered. The Pendleton bow though, was towed to Philly and scrapped in Delaware River. So yeah, go birds. We used to made it that far. Go birds.

We killed it and ate it. So the Fort Mercer though, becomes two boats. The stern was towed and given a new bow. What? And Chris into the San Jacinto. That's a great Peter Gabriel track. It is actually. The San Jacinto splits in half in 1962. What?

Do they turn into two more boats? Every boat. The flotilla of Theseus. They rebuilt it and they renamed it to the Pasadena. After a famously indivisible city. She was scrapped in 1983. 1983? Bloody hell. Do you just know that when they scrapped it the first thing that happened was it split in half? I think and I think she was scrapped in like Bangladesh

To add to a lang well lang is India yeah broken up there the I guess they used a shitty fucking sulfur fart steel for something else It became a drink up in a lang. Yeah, but kind of interesting to see the track that hopefully wasn't put into like a beam for a building Call that's a dud. It's a hundred percent became a beam in a building. Yeah in Bangladesh. Yeah Turn into razor blades And now it's in the so you can have your own piece of the Fort Mercer in because you're one of those weird safety razor guys you live in an old-fashioned house that has like the razor blades slide in the back of the So, um, yeah, next slide.

No, I put this in here because I figured you would appreciate the breakdown here. Yeah. Uh huh. Yeah. So, and looking at the name tag, I don't- I think- is that- is that Commander Yif? I don't know. Um, I- it could beICE It could be almost anything. I'm enjoying the sort of like, Maryland state flag rank chevrons.

SEAN Well, also Commander, with basketballs on the collar. ALICE Uh huh. Yeah. It's a... That's, you know, that's Chief chief pass the officer commander of the basketball division. You know, I figured that I figured the, the, the big fan, big, big fan. Thank you. I figured the hogs would also like this to Tom place. What do we learn? What do we learn? I don't

know. A crew resource management or whatever the equivalent for boats is, is it, is it just called research resource management on the coast guard for some reason. Oh, risk management. My bad. Just RM. It used to be called TCT. Do we learn anything about boats? No, I believe what we learned is that the progress of science is good because now we don't have boats that randomly split in half because we didn't know we were supposed to make very hard steel. You were supposed to make more ductile and flexible steel. Listen to women. That's all we've learned.

Listen to women. That's what we've really learned today. Listen to women. Oh, and ironically actually. Manganese is important. You guys were saying it ironically? Interesting. We need to go top. Manganese is important- You guys were saying it ironically? Interesting. We're gonna go top.

Manganese is important? Yes. Well in that case, why isn't it Wumanganese? Oh shit. Good point, good point. Someone in the metallurgy engineering class dropped that one. For the one woman in the class.

The one woman in the class who was going to revolutionize the field, apparently. Yes. Yes. Yeah, so that's the story of Coast Guard's greatest rescue. It's pretty cool. It's beautiful. Watch the movie, read the book.

Read the book. Read the book. The book's good. Read the book. There's some good interviews out there with Bernie Weber. He's pretty candid about, I just, you'know, fuck, I gotta do this. Shit. ALICE That's real heroism is when you're just like,

yeah, I know, like, fuck. And then you do the thing, it turns out. JUSTIN If I don't do this people are gonna die. LIAM I'm gonna die. JUSTIN Yeah, I'm gonna die. LIAM Okay. I'm probably also gonna die. Whatever.

JUSTIN Might as well do it in a way they're gonna make a Sabaton song out of it. Well, we have a segment on this podcast called Safety Third Dear November Liam Justin and Gareth. Oh almost almost no guests. Please don't Please don't use my real name, but my pronouns are they and them. What does it say? What does it say on there? Frankfurt Jones, oh shit. Don't use the real name Love your podcast and was delighted to hear you talk about HF in the most recent episode As I have been meaning to write in for a while. I thought you might like to hear some horror stories of mine, having worked with HF for a decade. No, I might not. Point of order, we're not talking about high frequency radio.

No, we're not. We're talking about hydrochloric acid. Oh, that's not good. HF radio is cool. No, it's bad. Yeah, HF as an acid is not cool, it's the kind of thing that melts your bones. Ooh, yeah, yeah. Ooh, fuck that. Yeah, turns into goop. I like bones. I'm a paleoecologist.

Sick. Sick. Worth all the years of school to be able to say a sentence like that, I bet. So I'm someone who uses pollen from the sediment record to understand past vegetation and climate change. Awesome. Amazing. One of the ways we process sediment to get the pollen out is using HF.

Nope. No. Fungal. Don't get in the worst chemical in the world. Well, one of them. Yeah. Pollen doesn't care about HF. It's pretty indestructible. But HF does a good job of dissolving sand in our sand.

So you dissolve everything around the pollen. Well, pollen doesn't have bones, so I guess... Yep. Second most cool, uh, in a related field to this, is Paleo-Tempestology. That's another cool one. Ooh. Let meology. That's another cool one. Ooh. Let me guess, weather from the old days. Yeah, oh.

Historical, horrible weather, I would imagine. Unfortunately this means using HF in a university context, where health and safety has often not been updated since the 1970s. It's really funny for a lot of stuff, it's like, well where do I go to learn to use this safely? Oh, the most dangerous place you can use it. Right. A fun fact is, the last safety training I had, the trainer said,

yeah, people love to say it dissolves your bones. And at this point I thought, oh no, I've been sold an urban myth. But then he continued, and it absolutely will, but you'll be long dead of heart failure before that happens.'" Oh good! "'If you get an area of skin the size of your palm exposed to HF, you're basically a dead

man walking as it will spread and cause a chain reaction with the calcium ions in your body, destroying your nervous system.'" CAUSE A CHAIN REACTION WITH THE CALCIUM IONS IN YOUR BODY, DESTROYING YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM." No, not my ions. New fear unlocked. It's that and the deer. Maybe we can turn them against each other, you know, just fire HF at some deer. Just a HF attack. Giant like water gun.

That's how we're gonna solve chronic waist disease. If that doesn't denature a prion on I don't know what the fuck well Do you venturing deer at scale I like It was like the deer never existed your kids like a giant giant bad giant bad of dissolved deer. The deer dissolved? Eric Adams. Eric Adams. He's just lifting the mid of his rat bucket. Dude, I heard that at Maryland Death Fest, deer dissolver? Anyway, here's some fun stories of my time using HF in academia across different countries and institutions. in academia across different countries and institutions. Number one. One time a lab that was using HF was discovered to have glass sediment traps under the sinks.

Meaning the HF remnants were slowly eating their way through them. Ooh. I don't like that sentence. Number two. HF has to be transported double-containered. Oh, I don't like that sentence number two Hf has to be transported double-containered so bottles inside plastic sealed boxes a

delivery guy once delivered a single bottle of Hf to an administrative office with his bare hands, where it sat, naked on the floor of the office with the nice administrative ladies working around it. Oh god. I turned up in full PPE to remove it to some concern. Yeah, I bet.

I mean, that must feel pretty good to enter the situation in your fucking hazmat suit, you know. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I have to do this. This is triggering me, like when I worked in a redacted factory and a pregnant woman was smoking cigarettes by the hydrogen-oxygen tanks. And refused to believe me when I said you know that's rocket fuel right? yeah people are so goddamn dumb it hurts my head oh go ahead number three the time we lost

nine liters of HF what? enough to sort of like you know How many deer can you dip in that? Fill like a hot tub with HF. It's like how you buy a chest freezer in Pennsylvania, it's like how many deer you can fit in there. We are the dumbest state, and we're gonna decide the election by the time this comes out. How many deer can you dissolve in this? I mean, ultimately, infinity. Yeah.

It was eventually located in a chemical store that was unventilated in a high shelf, HF should always be stored on the lowest shelf, in a metal cabinet by a window that got baked by the midday sun, it was not double contained, and it was stored with a load of other chemicals. Oh good the head of chemical safety for the university and I Who was a postdoc on about? 10,000 pounds a year salary Were the only ones present trained to handle it So we went in wearing our PPE, by the way for those

of you who are not familiar with that's personal protective equipment. The last barrier in a safety situation like this. Ideally you do other things before you have to don the PPE. Mmm. We're wearing the PPE and ventilators to remove it from the cabinet. I was so convinced that the bottles might have corroded to the point of failure that I told all the technicians waiting outside, who had never heard nor were aware of the dangers of HF, Don't listen to the podcast, I guess. Fuck em. to just run, if anything happened, and call the fire service, and we would be as good as dead

Jesus I think I think the PPE at this point has to include like a pistol Ross is something is gonna kill me. I'm so glad that my OCD is specific one of the subtypes of it is I'm afraid of chemicals. Mm-hmm I I'm not going in the chemical room without knowing every chemical and having the material safety data sheet. Fuck this. RILEY What's the MSDS for hydrogen fluoride, it's like... ALICE Pirate flag.

ALICE The long are very short. It's like the business card. Yeah. When we lifted the bottles up, the metal underneath had visibly started degrading. See the photo! You gotta put the Yuck sticker there. Ah, hold on. Um, yes, I lost- every time I do an annotation now, that PowerPoint scrolls up on the notes When we lifted the bottom when we lifted the bottles up the metal underneath that visibly started degrading see the photo Which you can show if you like all the glass bottles in the cabinet had been etched with frosted patterns

Due to the HF fumes Never want to see that Number four. Look at this, another one. In one lab I worked in, HF used to be stored in a wooden, unventilated cupboard under some stairs. Much like Harry Potter. Yeah.

I and a co- my colleague and I, excuse me, won't stand for grammatical errors in safety third submissions. My colleague and I essentially forced our boss to purchase a chemical storage cabinet for the lab. A few months later, the building suffered a huge fire, which burnt the cupboard, but the storage cabinet in the lab was safe. Had that cupboard still had

large quantities of HF and other chemicals in it, I honestly think there could have been emergency service lives lost. Yeah, no kidding. Bloody hell. In summary, I now try to use other techniques for processing pollen samples but there's always the possibility.

You could have done that all along! Wait, there's another way? I don't have to use the death acid? But there's always the possibility that HF might be needed. There's two ways of doing this, right? We can use HF or ordinary dish soap, but it takes like five minutes longer. We can distill water. Yeah, just a little spray of distilled but it takes like five minutes longer. So. We get distilled water. Yeah, just a little spray some distilled water on that, that's good.

Time is money, time is money. Oh, and we neutralize it with slaked lime, so. Oh, for fuck's sake. Calcium hydroxide. You have to be careful what you use, as some cause problematic gases to be giving off. I mean... Oh, that's what happens when I eat a Chinese food. Join the chemistry department and die a death unheard of since 1918.

This is not the chemistry department, this is the paleoecology department. Join the paleoecology department and experience a sort of paleo mortuary situation Thanks for making a great podcast Best from a paleo ecologist wondering how the fuck they are still alive Yeah, thanks for saving all those firefighters lives. Yeah That alright that's fucking That was safety third. Jesus Christ. Oh, I know what that is.

Our next episode will be on Chernobyl. Does anyone have any commercials before we go? Hope we got it the first time. Yeah, probably should have put them up front if you want to be able to hear them. I was about to say, I was about to say, um... We still do have the thing at the free library, which have thing at the free library which I'll write that next week Yeah, we're gonna do that. Well, but this is we're delirious Go yeah, and this and we got a just say fuck it and export the locals to Devon, right?

Exactly. I go listen to them and thousand losses ten thousand losses. It's a lot shorter