Well There‘s Your Problem - Episode 194: Broken Arrow: A Compilation

Episode Date: March 4, 2026

when nuclear bombs... go wrong donate to heather steele: https://www.gofundme.com/f/rally-for-heather-steele-a-true-union-sister-in-need?attribution_id=sl%3Aa37117c9-be19-4809-afe2-f32fb4265e98 check out scooter on bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/angryscooter77.bsky.social or on the horrible website for bad people: https://x.com/Angryscooter77 Our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/wtyppod/ Send us stuff! our address: Well There's Your Podcasting Company PO Box 26929 Philadelphia, PA 19134 DO NOT SEND US LETTER BOMBS thanks in advance in the commercial: Local Forecast - Elevator Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Okay, I got a local going. I got the OBS going. And the Zencaster is going. I'm going to say, oh, hang on. There we go. Okay, here we are. I'm going to say three, two, one mark. Three, two, one mark.

Close enough. Crispy. Okay. Scooter, turn your camera on. I don't have one. Scooter, get a camera. I don't have a camera either. I promise.

If I'm welcome back, I'll do it next time. You've been welcomed back plenty of times. This is not acceptable. Only I'm not allowed. Only I can have not a camera. Yeah. Only I cannot have a camera. Only if you're doing great,

I go get my damn laptop and firing it up, but I don't have any space on it. Oh, the Justin G. Rosiak Institute of Computing has welcomed. It's new a student. How do computer? How to compute?

You have an engineering degree by guy. Yes, civil engineering. There's no computers involved in that. I know what it is. You're supposed to be able to do it all on paper. I remember what I was at. And your brain. Return with a V.

Return with a V. When I was a, whatever, comps I would have three of my freshman year at Drexel. They made us do all the, all the CS exams by hand. You just have to run out the code. I was just like big, frowny face.

And then I decided to be a math major because I could do less damage that way. They made that. the mechanical engineering students do finite element analysis, but on paper. Oh. Yeah, no, that's, those are some scary numbers right there. I had a, I had a, I had a Compsi professor who made us write OpenGL on paper for the exams,

which in retrospect was kind of insane. Victoria, did you major in ComCSI? Yeah, my degrees in computer size. Can you tell with how much I love computers? Well, you're a trans woman, so I figured they just gave you one to pun transition. Here's your order of valiant transition metal and here

is your science degree. Here's your here's your degree. You have fun. All right. Now manage the polykylosplex server. Hope you guys like Martin Supreme. Yeah, I'm not wrong. Am I? I don't manage the polychialplex server. My

girlfriend does that. I'm just dating the person who manages like the greater Seattle, like genuinely like a third of the Seattle like Transitin television shows watched go through this one woman's closet. Mine is just on the floor of my wife's office because it's me

and Roz doesn't know how to use Plex. Yeah, I don't know how to use it. I have access to it. I don't know how to use it. You do. And then I guess I'm never switching to jellyfin so all of you can just suck a fuck. I've already sunk the money into Plex. I'm not getting rid of it now. I'm sorry. I know

subtitles don't work, but that's okay. Use your imagination. do better audio like setup inside your living. Yeah, exactly. That's not my fault, but your responsibility. Yeah. All right,

why are we here? Hello, and welcome to, well, there's your problem. It's a podcast about engineering disasters with slides.

I'm Justin Rosniak. I'm the person who's talking right now. My pronouns are he and him. Okay, go. Oh, shit. I guess, I guess it goes straight to be.

Damn. Oh, what I'm crazy. No, it's, no, wait. No, Victoria, you go. Yeah.

I'm saying. Yeah, you're Nova now. Yeah, okay. You are Nova today. It finally, I've finally usurped her. Yeah, because you sent that car to kill her. Which we thought was very rude. Look, you know, that's the way of the car, you know. One day you're driving, the next day you're getting run flat. My name is Victoria Scott. I have the person who's talking right now.

My pronouns are she and her. Yay, Liam. Yeah, Liam. Question mark. Hi, I'm Liam McAnderson. My pronouns are he, him, his. That's right. I've outwoked all of you. And with us, we have returning featherweight champion. That's a little much.

What weight class you want to be, Scooter? Well, featherweight counts, but that's about it. Hi, I'm Angry Scooter. Pronouns, he, they? Sorry, praise. And that's it. We don't have five guests like last time. No, and you may be noticing,

speaking the biggest absence of one voice. Angels we have heard on high. November is sick, we think, question mark. And she didn't respond to the Discord. So here we are without her. This show is going to suck, but we're putting it out anyway. Because Nova is the glue that holds us together. And we're got three dudes here.

And most of them are incompetent. We'll see if we can do a sequel of shit from my first time. Oh, God. I will be here to inject some degree of transatlantic. humor, although admittedly, it will not be as funny. That's okay. All right. We need some about it. We need at least one trans person on every podcast or else it's just not going to work.

No. Otherwise, it's just me and you talking, which I lived with you for a number of years. I see you fairly regularly. It'll just be that. Yeah, I'll be confusing. That's okay. This whole episode is supposed to bomb. Oh. Oh. I get it. Oh, that hurts my voice so fucking bad.

Mike? Yeah. What am I looking at here, Scooter? Yeah. So you're looking at the crane naval weapons depot in Indiana, and a forklift driver has done a small oopsy. That's not a broken arrow, actually, I found out, but it's close. But it's not a nuclear warhead.

So simply a nuclear capable weapon. It's, no, it's just some asshole dropped a forklift off a dock. just thought was funny. That actually is the first picture that has been shown to me in the Forklift Safety Briefing, in my old jobs weapons handling safety briefing. And I have heard it has been shown at like almost every Air Force base's safety briefings. So I had to put it in here as the first. It's just Chef's Kiss.

But it's actually an airdropped submarine mine. Yeah, I can see that it was air dropped. good or you don't have to insult me. Sometimes they mislead you. I can't believe Klaus did this. So what we're talking about today

is continental United States broken arrows, which is where we'll get into it later. But the reason I'm here and Devin for the love of God, please bleep this comedically if you can, I'm sorry to ask a favor. I would

seven minutes 34 seconds oh you do that's the thing I do that's the thing I do on 10,000 losses too when I like threatened threatened Tom and it's just like and I'm just like oh yeah you know Neil X elected official over Y ditch but I'm not allowed

to talk about that yeah all right all right so the rest of the slideshows could be a little challenging then isn't it oh this is all history it's fine I have the book that says declassified on the front sitting next to me. We're good.

Oh, the boy. Yeah, today's today's subject is Broken Arrow. Some of the greatest hits of Broken Arrow, some of the various the, what's the word? The goffaws,

the whoopsies, the whoopsies. The oopsie-dupsies, as you will, of handling nuclear weapons. But first we have to do the goddamn news. do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do this is the vibes are catastrophic like oh what if what if what if what if people don't want me on the show right she just needs to listen to this we're in shambles

this is not working there is an episode that was never released where it's just razz and i and a guest who will remain nameless and without nova it was like I feel fine with us doing it with like four people, especially because Victoria, you're a host now, basically. I feel fine doing it. But it's also like,

we scrapped that. Roz and I sat there in basically silence for three and a half hours, and we're just like we can never release this to the problem. We can't let people know how we live. It's just like dip can after dip can after dip can. Like, oh yeah, I can't just like,

huh? Was that back when you, at the vice news. I looked at that, yeah, I looked up that email, and I realized that like, still in an email from those boys. But now there's, de minimis is over, so it doesn't matter. But, yeah, they were like, the subject line of their email to us, if you go into the, well, there's your palm inbox,

is, is it finally happening? They were like, we understand you've been trying to get a hold of us for quite some time. I was like, oh, God. I didn't, you know, I said no ads on the, on the podcast, but like, you know, I mean, if they actually want to sponsor, sure, I support tobacco products as a concept, even though, you know, I don't partake. Smoke one cigarette every 18 months and look like you're going to die doing it. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. I quit smoking repeatedly and I'm still currently quit as of the recording of this podcast. However, I do think. The thing is, cigarettes are cool is the problem. Cigarettes are cool. Yes, cigarettes are cool. So like, if you- I have to endorse them because my father-in-law used to work as to sell them. Yeah, I mean, the thing is, is like, I suppose it's kind of like, I know that the tobacco industry is evil, kind of like in the same vein as like BP is evil.

The tobacco industry episode actually is coming. I have started gathering research for that. It's just 40 slides of like the best cuts of snoot from my smith. We're just going to do the Marlboro train episode a second time. No, I, I, I, if you look, the very first episode of 10,000 loss of speed is me just talking about this news for like eight minutes. Hell, I bought a book about it and like the history of it. But yeah, we're going to do the tobacco industry episode. So if anyone out there is a MPH or a doctor of public health, get at me, I guess, because I'm not competent enough to know what lung cancer is.

yeah i mean like but it's a deeply evil industry but that was never good enough motivation for me to quit because i was like i wake up every day in america you know like yeah i've already used six evil industries by the time i walk out the front door i have diesel exhaust fumes so it was really hard to be like i know it you know it's bad for my lungs oh yeah no no i had to do like the mental gymnastics required were unbelievable to get me to quit smoking and a lot of it is because it is cool and I was like I don't know if my reputation can suffer this kind of where I'm just like standing around like Han from Tokyo drift endlessly eating from a small bag of Fritos to satisfy my oral cravings. What got me to quit was I

stopped lighting the cigarette but still putting in my mouth for the oral fixation. Oh yeah. And oh yeah I kept doing that at work and on jobs and finally somebody was like I say finally, because this went on for months, somebody was like, you look like a fucking idiot. I'm like, got it, done. Shortly after the events of the Deepwater Horizon episode was recorded, and we had that goddamn news. I was so mad that I literally, like, went for a run around my block at 10.30 p.m. With a cigarette just dangling from my lip and a lighter in my pocket that I kept flicking

to be like, this would feel really good, but you don't get to have it. just for like an hour. It was insane. It was the most deranged shit I've ever done. And then I found out afterward that I was like, this is a pretty cool story. And then I found out later that like that is a John Green novel character trait where somebody walks out with an unlit cigarette.

And I guess it's played. Yeah. And I felt again, I thought I was being cool. And then it's like, no, you should have kept smoking if you wanted to be cool. Anyway.

You have to like the thing. I, I does not lost on me. I was talking to my wife about this today. So we're going to look. redacted and there's goats there. And she was like, we're not going to have a repeat of the incident where she got very allergic to horse stand or horse fur or whatever the hell horse staff.

And she had to go to bed at like 654 on a Wednesday. And I was like, the irony that you married a former smoker is not lost on me. Like a person who can't breathe the air because it has too much allergens. It's just like, and then there's me like, I invented something called triple decking, right? Where you smoke with a lip in and then you take a drink of whiskey, right? That's triple that. That's triple-crouting. The Edward 40 hands of cigarettes.

Yeah, you pack a lip, right? And then you have to smoke, and then you have to get Ross to hand you the drink of whiskey because all your hands are occupied. You know the picture of the spy with all the cigarettes in his mouth? I did that as a joke at Polar and then lit them all to try it. Do not recommend. Don't do that.

I was recently able to pull an Uno Reverse card on my landlord, right? Because the foyer of my building constantly smells rinks of cigarettes smoke, yeah. Yeah. She thought I was smoking in the apartment, which I am not. I don't smoke. Right. And so after she complained to me about the smoking, I was like, no, I don't smoke. Also, the cigarette smoke is awful.

Could you please fix it? I thought you were, when you said you pulled an Udo reverse on your landlord. Just stuff a cigarette to this poor lady's mouth. I thought you figured out some way to get her to pay you rent. Yeah. Went up in her apartment and just started smoking and lighting it up. Your apartment smells like smoke. Exactly, exactly.

Anyway, I don't know what you're talking about with this slide, by the way. I just was going to throw that out there. It's like 55 degrees outside right now. Here is something that is cooler than smoking and that's outdoors right now. Holy shit. It's been like two, two or three weeks at this point here in Philly, like underneath like 20 degrees out. It's been crazy. It's been bizarre.

Here you can see all the snow that accumulated up against my purple door enough that, you know, there's an indent. there from the door. How's the deck holding up? Has it collapsed yet? It is not collapsed yet. No, it should have collapsed. But, you know, it hasn't done that yet.

This is the first time in my life I've been mad at snow. Normally you like weird weather. Yeah, I love, I love when it snows, but then when it sticks around for like three weeks, it's,

and it never goes above freezing that entire time. This has been awful. Oh my God. You know what it sucked on our end is the sun would come out, melt the top layer, and then it would go down to negative 20. Yep. So you get the ice refreeze, yeah.

Yeah. Not to like rub it in, but we've had like false spring for like the past two and a half weeks. But we've had both spring in the past two weeks. In the Super Bowl champion city of Seattle. That's great. That's great. You know what?

Cutter. Cutter. No more. Off the podcast. Oh, shoot. you always regret if you had a trapdoor under my own desk yeah it's been it's been uh the the the lack of snow plowing has been pretty crazy um just uh the the general the it's not been good snow vibes this is the first time i've

experienced like really bad snow vibes in my life has every asshole in philly forgotten to plow their uh yeah sidewalk yes that's why yeah Yep, yep. Yeah, naturally. But also usually, like, it snows a bunch, and then it's like 40 degrees for a few days. No, it was like, I don't know, three or whatever. Yeah, it was not fun. It's very bad.

It was very bad. Today, when I went out to go to the grocery store, it was like, holy shit, it's a puddle of liquid water. Oh, my God. Can you imagine that in weeks? No, when I, the only, it's been a while since I had, like, bad vibe of snow, but the last time I experienced it was living in rural Idaho because... Oh, yeah, that tracks.

You get that first one in like late October and November and you're kind of like, oh, this is going to be kind of nice. Like the mountains look so pretty. And then it just stays below 10 for four fucking months. And there's just always more snow. And like, you know, it's like, it's a town of 3,000 people so they don't know how to snowplow things or, you know,

maintain like infrastructure. So it's just a hateful. Hey, you probably can't even, can't even a walk. somewhere too you know I mean that's that's definitely I the leases I you couldn't walk anywhere like just trying to get off the bus or the trolley it was like you're you're gonna fucking immediately be dumped into a snowbank and die yeah it's just only Victoria's on camera they're hi something's happening what is happening something's happening on leopside love you I'll see you in four to six hours I promise, I cut this down so it's not like that.

I, I, so here's the thing, right? Here's the thing with that. Scooter, you've met my wife. You've met. Yep, yep. My wife yelled high. Hi, Gren. Hi, hi, sweetie.

Anyway, so my wife, the highest compliment, I think my mother has ever given my wife. And this is true. is that my wife would make an incredibly effective dictator. She runs in this house like we're the goddamn Navy. It's fucking horror. Like for a guy who's not especially detail oriented, you know, I'm just like, oh yeah,

like I'm fucking go bubbling through life with my pants down. And then my wife is like, why are you doing the things that you're doing? I don't understand. It's a very, it's very DIY podcast it is. Yeah. Yes.

Shall we move on? We do it ourselves. Well, I mean, so it's cold. In other news. I see. I see your headshake, Victoria. I know it's bad. There were more Epstein files released.

And unfortunately, some of our faves were implicated. Yeah. J.K. Rowling? Jesus. J.K. Rally, who turned off her yacht transponder and erased all the, what is it, like a doc record or something? Yeah. That's against the law, by the way.

It was a mistake. It was not a mistake. Look, the sooner we just fucking kneel J.K. Rallying over a shallow ditch and put- Say it with me if you know the words. You can't say that on YouTube. And Norm Chomsky, apparently. Yeah, and Nome Chomsky. because all men are misogynistic dickheads who don't care who they harm.

The only thing that I've discussed about the, the thing about all of the Epstein case, right, is like it crossed into tabloid information, like, I don't know, in 2019, probably. And nothing really has been treated differently since then, even though it should be kind of one of those scandals that sort of rocks America to its core. Right.

America has no core, so there's nothing to be rocked. It's just like, wow, can you believe in all these? people do this. It's like, well, yeah, I kind of can. We should probably make it. We should probably punish them for the crimes they have committed. But since that's off the table, we're all just kind of like watching human suffering. So the only information that I pulled out of this that I was able to like wrap my mind around and process is that Jeffrey Epstein tried to import a Toyota century and failed. Which I thought was really funny. The guy literally is like one of the like all time evils of America, which is insane. Because like, that is, like, Kobe Bryant of pedophilia and

could get away with basically any crime in the entire world and still could not import a non-federal legal car without the 25-year law getting in his way. That's, I have no words. Is that how we got away with getting an A class? What? It's a very long story, but my boss bought a Mercedes a class off an auction that had been imported recently right after. Yes, it's... Okay. The law in the United States... The law in the United States is...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you have to wait 25 years after a car was made. There is a short list of cars that you can get a show and display exemption for, which is, like, if you see somebody bringing, like, an R34 Z-tune or something, well, I guess I'm six now is, like, close, yeah. But, like, you can bring in stuff sooner. Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates actually advocate. for that law because they wanted to bring in their 959s and those were never federally legal.

But like Toyota centuries do not qualify, generally speaking. It also puts very strict limits on like how many miles you can drive it and stuff. And like, I guess that wasn't good enough for him. I don't know. I just saw the emails and I was like, wow, okay, I could actually, this one I can wrap my head around. This feels like something that is like actually comedic. Everything else is like, cool.

Wow. I love living in a culture that just treats human beings as disposable. As commodities, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. There's a lot of nasty stuff in there. But thank God we stop that Toyota century from coming into the country.

Pedophiles don't deserve nice things. I would hope. I would hope. The thing is, is like, they don't, but they keep having them. Yeah, we got to execute these fucking people. I'm looking because I don't remember. I remember what this looks like. I wanted to just make sure this joke will work.

Okay, yeah. Nevermind, that won't work. What were you trying to look up? The Toyota Century. My brain mashed it with a Mercedes for some reason. Toyota Century is better than a Mercedes. I know, but it's, I was saying it's totally different car. They're lovely.

With a V-12 that makes like 190 horse power for reasons beyond V. Yeah, you can also get a hemie in them. Why? I've driven one that had a hemispherical head V8. This one makes 198 horsepower. Yeah, it's kind of like, I don't know, Platonic ideal car. I've driven it like a 94 that somebody imported. It's absolutely amazing.

Wool upholstery is awesome. More people should do it, but we live in hell. So instead, you can get the $110,000 RAM, EREV. I'm going way off track. That's a different time. Sorry. Check out. Trans-Gurleism.

But yeah, I guess that is the main takeaway from the Epstein files is not even Jeffrey Epstein can import a Toyota Century. That was the goddamn news. Bipipo-Bi-Bi-Bi-Bi-Bi-Bi-Bi-B-B-a-B-B-d-all. All right, here we go. Okay. So the Cold War, am I right? Oh, yeah. No, it's fucking cold out right now. I don't think it ended. God damn. No, that's not true. It was like 40 degrees today. And he don't open the pools. Oh, the Cold War went hot. That's not good.

But the pools. No. So like, I'm expecting like maybe 40% of the listeners to have actually lived through this. Maybe. 40% is probably being a little generous, but we got some old heads on here. Oh, I know. I know I get yell at it if I said nobody. But the Cold War, and I'm going... I'll be right back. Jesus, man.

We never saw Liam again. I got a poop. What? Oh, yeah, okay. I got a final. Shit my pants. No. No.

It's not presented to you in Sullivan. What do you care of? I have, you have your camera on. I'm going to watch this and hide down. Oh, yeah, yeah. You ready? Yeah. This is a crop in some jurisdictions. All right. I'll be right back. Okay. Thank God. So the Cold War. I'm going to start off this whole presentation with if you don't have any inkling of what happened between 1945 and 1991, and also don't understand what a nuclear bomb is, you're going to have a hard time. But to try and, like, simplify it is the Cold War was a time where the United States hated Soviet Union because they were communist.

The Soviet Union hated the United States because the Soviet Union was right and they were wrong. I'm glad you waited for the anarchists to get up to land that bit. The base, the base situation was that FDR in Stalin were great buddies and FDR died too soon. Yeah. And then the next guy was like, I don't, I have, you know, maybe not. I think maybe he's a fake friend, you know. Maybe not, yeah. There's a lot that goes into it, but simply,

USSR, which was a bunch of countries that that Russia had made friends with sometimes and America who was a bunch of country states that are all friends and friends with other countries called NATO sometimes friends that didn't like each other but were too afraid of what each other had to do anything about it. And what they had

was nuclear stuff. This is the thing. that the United States came up with in 1945. If you don't know what a nuclear bomb is. Moving pictures in this slideshow? I can't believe it's fucking working. This is the first time a GIF has worked on this podcast, yeah.

Hallelujah. So in the 1940s, the United States hated a country called Germany. And Germany was bad for a lot of reasons. And still is. Yeah, I was going to say. But mainly because they were doing horrible genocide.

Every time I drive a Volkswagen, I'm like, Morgenthau was right. But we were afraid they were going to make their own bomb to fuck us. So we made our own bomb to fuck them. But then the war was over in Germany before we could fuck them, about two months early. So in July, we tested that bomb. It worked. And then we took it to Japan to fuck them. and we fucked them hard.

Yeah, we do it. I think, I think bombing, okay, okay, I've got to push back slightly and just say, I don't really think that the nuclear bombing of Hiroshima Nagasaki was necessarily to win the war in Japan as much as it was. Well, I'm just saying, I think that it was mostly to show the Soviets, hey, we got this thing. Check this out. That's crazy.

And just like, Japan happened to be there and like, you know, quote unquote, an acceptable target to show off to the world. Well, we had no problem. firebombing the shit out of them right before it. So it was kind of like you know. Well, yeah. That's what I'm saying. It's like at this point it was, you know, oh, I got disconnected

because I was pushing back on Harry Truman too hard. Oh, no. Zencaster is a pro-Hary Truman software. I think it's still going. Keep going. Okay. It's still gone, yeah. Says you're still here. Oh, she told me it was kicking me out.

Anyway, yeah, you go on. I just wanted to be clear that like, you know, I, I don't think it was quite a necessary strategic maneuver. I think it was more of just like a kind of America doing what it does best and blowing up 70 to 110,000 people per city up to as a flex. Every nuclear person on the internet's going to yell at me for this. But yeah, yes. Why would they yell at you?

Because there's two theories and not a third. Theory one is the bombs won the war. The bombs sold Japan. Okay. I didn't say it was right. It's just theory one. Okay. Theory two is that Russia invading Manchuria was what won the war.

Because Japan went, oh, fuck, no. We ain't going to be with them. We'll go with the United States. The reality is somewhere in between is not the right answer, but your answer is the one I agree with. Yeah, I mean, I get... You probably didn't have to do that. Yeah, no.

That was, it was pretty... I mean, it was pretty clearly gratuitous in every history I've read of it. But, you know, I mean... Oh, yeah. Yeah, but again, so it was the fire bombing beforehand. Yeah, again, before we started recording this episode, I was like, you know, when I was a kid, because I have, you know, I'm on this podcast, I read a ton about World War II history.

And I made it to about age 12 when I stopped reading, like, sanitized children's books and started reading, like, you know, actual history books where I was like, I can't read about the air war with bombing anymore because it makes me upset. Yes. So that was, I am less good at that side of things. and I don't know if I'd be able to clearly delineate when exactly the air war over Japan went from like

from necessary to gratuitous. I don't think I'm quite qualified for that. But I feel like I'm pretty qualified to say like I don't think that they, I think I'm going to say have a very controversial opinion to say that I think Hiroshima and Nagasaki were bad. Well, if that's what gets

me cancel on the show, so fucking this is this is this is in a hard contrast with our previous bonus episode, the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki were good, actually. Oh, yeah. The first of a pill episode, along with Israel is good, actually. Yeah.

Yeah, that Pennsylvania G.G1 conversation got really derailed. Yes, so to speak. I mean, a lot of the scientists that built the bomb traveled on the PRR. So. We'll get to them. Oh, yeah. Long story now long is those bombs were created to wipe out Germany. They didn't need them, so they wiped out Japan instead after they already wiped out Japan with a bunch of fire bombings.

And then we went a little crazy with thinking that it was fine to continue using these bombs. In 1946, they did atomic testing in Bikini Ataul, which is all stolen land. in the Pacific Islands, that we saved them from the Japanese. Why did I air quotes Japanese? Whatever. We saved them from the Japanese. But we saved them and then moved them to a whole different island so that we could blow the shit out of their native land.

And through that atomic testing program, everybody decided nuclear bombs good in the military. Everybody wanted them after that. Oh, yes. So we go into this disagreement with the Russians, planning to just bomb the ever-loving shit out of them if they ever come west. And they get a little upset about that. So they took all their intelligence and started making their own bombs. Yeah, and if I can just share my favorite anecdote about this,

this sort of like early Cold War era in like 1946 or 1947, GE started building the what became known as the Little Joe's, the electric locomotives, or the Soviet railways. Yeah, yeah. Based off of, like, their own specifications, what they were going to run, like, what they were going to run for their, you know, overhead lines. And by the time the locomotives were done five years later in like 1952, the U.S. State Department was like, you can't export things to the Soviet Union. It had gone bad quicker than you could build an electric locomotive.

Yes. So then they went into service. in Brazil and then also the Milwaukee Road which is the bonus episode I have to write because it's my obsession is like what if what if things had gone differently that's like there are a couple of like inflection points to American history I love to think about like

what if the world were not as bad as it is and that is definitely one of them well if there's anybody that knows anything about exporting locomotives to currently a hostile to American country it would be me um So anyway, Justin, can you go back a slide?

Yes. So anyway, there's kind of a really bad primer about the history in, what, seven minutes? But the thing I wanted to implicate is everything that was made to make fun of the Cold War is 100% accurate. And this slide is on the. right is the headquarters of strategic air command, which is who ended up taking all the air deliverable nuclear weapons and planning and plotting how to use them against the Soviet Union. And they had the big board where they would show where and what everything was doing in the 1950s. And on the left is Dr. Strangelow, where they have the big board where all the planes are going in the 1950s.

Well, is this like a, this is like a move, a scaffold that goes up and down, right? So you can, I don't know, right on the board. And the guy has the pole queue that moves the planes that are magnetic to the board. Oh, my God. It's so fucking cool. It's so 1950s. I love it. But yeah, there was a guy in the Air Force that his entire job was to have the highest security clearance possible, take a pool queue, and just move stuff on the big board.

God, you see a job that you were just born a little too late to have. Like, sure, the U.S. military is kind of evil, especially in like the 1950s. We're about to transition from, ooh, we beat Hitler to, oh, we're going to invade Korea. But also, you get to push around little magnetic airplanes with pool queue. I could do that. The whole point of this presentation is, man, the Air Force is kind of fucked. So is the military. But it's also so fucking cool.

That's like all of my interests. but also my ex job. Yeah, again, this is why, you know, in order to remove the moral complexity from the things I'm interested in, that's why I just got into fighter planes after I turned about 15. Oh, that's fair.

Because, like, fighter planes are the most consensual war has ever been. Those two guys up there who are trying to blow each other out of the sky are living for that shit. That is pure distilled dudes rock. And as long as you do it over, kind of like a non-populated area, so your flaming carcass doesn't take out an apartment building.

That's just pure clean fun. Until you get into the 1960s and we'd have air deliverable fighter-to-fighter nuclear weapons. Well, yeah. But like, that's the thing, right? It's like, you just, you just read the best era of like fighter plane warfare to be really, really into, in my opinion, is the Korean War. If you just strip away all context from me. your mind and become like perfectly smooth-brained.

And you just look at like F-806s and Big 15s fighting it out and forget about all the geopolitical context outside of it and like mass death. You're just like, okay, it's about these two planes right now. It's, it's, I watched a lot of dog fights on the history channel as a kid. And they have ejector seats so no one even gets killed. You won't. Yeah. Sure.

You know, we can go with that. This is the best war thunder game I've ever played. Yeah. Well, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the world war one fighting strategy of, eh, don't worry about it. We got more guys. Oh, God. Oh, okay.

So, we should move on. So that's, that's kind of your recap. Two slides, please. Those slides. That's the one. So, the bomb that you saw falling in the gift of Medigo is this. one. The last big one, the largest bomb we ever built, the Mark 41. The spikes on it make it more menacing. Is that truly it? No. Oh, okay. I was just like, all right, it seems like something

the United States military is doing. He's like, hey, fuck it on it. Who gets the shit? We're going to annihilate the planet. I only put this in here before we get into the subject because it always pisses me off when people talk about this. This is the biggest bomb. This is the biggest bomb. No, bitches, this is the biggest bomb we ever dropped from a plane. And it is the last one we ever dropped from a plane and actually detonated. Sorry, ran over. Next slide. Yes. So, we're here to talk about broken arrows. What is a broken arrow? Well, the movie Broken Arrow came out in 1996. John Travolta facing off against Christian Slater, where John Travolta steals the B3 bomber, a bomber that doesn't exist, but might now because he's considered what the two little Raider

bomber is. And he steals it and steals the nuclear weapons to go bomb Salt Lake City. But that's not what we're talking about today. We should have bombed Salt Lake City. The 2002-al image should have never happened. Mitt Romney wouldn't be alive right now if we had done the right thing and nukes the Mormons. I was about to say, I thought, you know, you bombed Denver, but you have to do that with a train. Well, they get on a train. The movie has a train. It's not right. I didn't know there was a train in them. Okay. You'll have to watch. I was thinking about the atomic train. What was it with this kind of like 90s spate of sort of like, oh, the Cold War's over. We have to reinvent all the anxieties now for the movies. Yeah, because it was like this. I feel like this is the same kind of like genre as the Harrison Ford movie where he

has to like fight a bunch of people on Air Force One. Air Force One. Yeah. Clear and present. It is clear. It is clear. No, is it? No, is it Air Force One? I think Air Force One is the one where Harrison Ford is on Air Force. worst one. What am I? Yeah. Whatever. Yeah. My bad.

I just feel like there were a bunch of movies where they were like, okay, well, we can't make every movie bad guy be the Soviets now, so we have to figure out a new bad guy. And they were just like, it was about like the anxiety of having to fight somebody within the United States. Yeah. Which didn't really materialize at all or become oddly prescient about how America treated a, you know, polar world. Anyway.

Yeah, no kidding. So this is a scene from the movie. and it's the Undersecretary of Defense with the Secretary of Defense. And for some reason, the Undersecretary of Defense doesn't understand what the fuck of broken arrow is. The broken what? We call it a broken arrow. It's what we call when we lose a nuclear weapon. I don't know what's scarier losing a nuclear weapon or that it happens so often that there's actually a term for it.

Both is bad. Yes. We'll go with both here. So it was defined in the 1960s as a broken arrow because the military needs a code word for everything or an acronym for everything. I'm surprised it's not like a BRA nuclear whatever, you know, but nuclear separation event. Conscious and coupling of a nuclear separation event, otherwise known as my parents getting a divorce. No Oh.

Shit. Sorry. That's so sad. So this this is a term used mainly for paperwork, but it has been and a lot of the research I've done is somebody has quoted like,

sir, we have a broken arrow. Oh, God. Like that actually fucking happened a bunch. So I can't really make fun of it. But there's other terms that are also used in this, and people might have heard. A nuke flash is when, like, a broken arrow has gone so bad that it might start nuclear war, which we'll get into later. There's also a bent spear, which is like the first slide where a forklift fell off and knocked the bomb over. there could be thousands of bent spears.

They just have not be classified them. Like there's there's just so many incidents of like a carrier, weapons carrier moving and the hydraulics fail and the bombs slam into the ground. Well, and also like isn't, I assume that the guys move around the bombs are like, you know, 20 year olds that, you know, enlisted. That have been so shit-faced drunk for the past nine days. Yeah.

Yeah. It's like, you know, they're doing their best, but also you've given a 20-year-old a forklift with a nuclear bomb on it. And so, like, you know, that's just going to happen. Well, especially in, like, the 50s and 60s. Like, they're... Oh, my God, yeah.

And then you get... I'm forklift certified. Well, and you get into, like, the post-Vietnam era, and these incidents were, like, constant. Because everybody's on drugs, everybody's drinking. Nobody believes in the armed forces anymore.

So, like, they were firing guys left and right for, like, Oops, I dropped the nuke. Oh, you're also high. Why? You know? So there's quite a few very hard to find data on them other than what you know. I feel like personally being drunk would make me better at operating a forklift,

but being high would make me worse. Yeah. Yeah. Agreed. Can't attend to that. So there's also the empty quivert, which is a seizure or theft of a nuclear weapon. There are none declassified, but you never know. I'm just going to leave it at that.

And then a faded giant, which is what I was on here for a full episode last about, which is a non-weapon military radiological incident. And that's your SL1 disaster, where the army was operating a nuclear reactor, and it became very nuclear suddenly. Had a Looney Tunes incident. Had a very good news incident, which certainly. Speaking of Looney Tunes, next slide, please. Reach its projected power output in 0.01.

A mere second. So now it's time to talk about the apparatus that built why there's so many of this. If you know anything about military history, you've heard the name Curtis LeMay. It was a bomber general or bomber colonel in World War II that led the firebombing campaign against Japan. And then he left, left Japan, came to the United States and built the strategic air command and took it from its early years where it was just a cluster fuck to being the most capable military organization on the face of the air. Went from a cluster fuck to just psychopaths.

Yes. Because in the beginning, when there were only a few bombs, nobody really treated it seriously. and there was no real like urgency because the Russians didn't have a bomb yet. It wasn't until late 1940s. So everybody treated it like, oh, we're here just to go to New North Korea when that kicks off.

You know, we're just going to go bomb Moscow for the fun of it. Which we should have done. Oh, God. Okay. Now we're getting into, now we're getting into some strange politics. It was good that you said what you said earlier when the anarchist wasn't on the, episode.

Ah, ah. So Curtis LeMay turned it into the machine, but if you

go back to the World War II, there was this guy, General Thomas Sarsfield power. That middle name

is correct. I did not make that up. He is the craziest man in the military by 1960.

And I say this because he went to, he didn't have a high school degree, and then he got a GED equivalent and went into the military and became a general, the last general since, should not have a college education. I'm sure this won't come back to bite us. Well, he went to like every Air Force school ever. He went to, I mean, I list them all in the notes, but it doesn't matter.

He went to like the Air Corps training school, the commanding school, the Air Mail Corps school, he learned engineering and armament at the bombardment squadron. He was just like a very early military version of those people that go get a bunch of like master's degrees. Yes. He's just doing that in the Air Force. He became a flying instructor. He learned he did tactical air air school. And then he was sent to he was sent to the Pacific to carry out LeMay's firebombing campaign of Tokyo.

So, like, he was crazy good at managing operations because he had done everything. Right. His job is to murder civilians. And he's real good at it. He's rarely enough for it. Yeah. But after World War II, he gets sent to Bikini Aetal for Operation Crossroads and is the Air Force or Army Air Corps, but whatever, liaison for.

the weapons testing. So he's saying up the planes, saying up the support for the Navy who's running the operation. And he sees the atomic bomb go off for the first time and has that like, this is what changes the world. Yeah, as I say, presumably he's starting to get withdrawals from mass murdering civilians at this point too. Correct. Kind of like scratching himself like, damn, you got you got any more of those fire bombs? Oh, come on. Just one wing of me 29. That's all I mean. Just one more bomb. Just one really big bomb.

Come on. Taking a long, a long pole on a cigarette. I'm going, I just need one more. Just a couple of megatons. I swear this will actually be the war to end all wars. I promise. Just one more. Well, after this is sticks and stones, boys.

He goes from crossroads to strategic air command to be Lemaise. you know, hatchet man. He's who what takes, LeMay orders him around, but he's the one that goes from location to location and makes the bomber force go from jerking themselves off and maybe dropping an atomic bomb one day to having 15-minute ground alert of all aircraft that were capable at all the strategic air command bases.

So if the Russians came over the polls, we have all of our aircraft up in 15 minutes. on their way to rush. This is like when they were having all the B-52 crews, like sleeping in the airplanes and stuff like that, right? We'll get there. Oh, good. But so he gets kicked out of Strategic Air Command to go run the Air Research Development Command. And why that's important is he, okay, the books, either the books are really pro this guy and really, really, really crank or really this guy was fucked, but also

really, really cranked. So it's hard to like... You have to clarify your usage of the word cranked here. Oh, God. Awful people. Just maybe not the authors, but their mental image

of nuclear war is not right, you know? Not everything we did is a good thing. So what you're saying is You want to invade Cuba, right? This is like one of the things I know about him. Yeah. And he ran with George Wallace.

Okay. So what you're getting at here is that like there's a certain subset of, uh, of military historians who are like, wow, this guy was a like drug addled freak. And some of them are like, wow, what a base Chad. Yes. Okay. But both are like, this guy did a lot of good for strategic air command. Now, that's bad or that's good is the way it turns.

But it's always like, what he did was a good thing. And it's like, whoa. He was effective at his job. He was effective at his job. It was a good or bad thing. It depends on the lens of the story. You know, he was great at his job, but the problem is the strategic air command is ontologically evil and also psychopathic. The whole point of it is, yes.

Yeah. But so he's who was in charge of research development command when we were developing missiles. And so a lot of sources will say, like, he championed the missiles. he was better than Bernard Schreber who did it all. And a lot are like, he was a hindrance. He won nothing but bombers. He fucking hated the idea of missiles, et cetera. That's important because he's the reason why the XB70

supersonic bomber exists. He's who approved that fraud. Don't know why I'm talking about. Look it up another time. It's the hottest bomber we've ever built. Hottis isn't good or Hottis isn't on fire a lot. Like looks so fucking cool. It's got the wings that like they, they, they tilt.

they tilt down and then the rides on the shockwave oh my god it looks so pretty it looks like the concord but but like but it goes way faster yeah it goes mock three it's so fucking cool yeah it goes mock infinity it's really cool it'll deliver a present to your best friend in like 20 minutes there's a i posted on on blue sky a picture somebody designed it to drop a minute man missile for launching satellites just because they couldn't find a reason to keep this thing. It was so expensive. So they never actually deployed

it, but like they're trying to do anything to build more. And one's like, we'll put a missile under it and we'll launch things into space at Mach 3. It'll be really cool. Cool shit. It's a good idea. And now I'm one of those motherfuckers

there. Like, he was actually cool. Oh, no. No, man. But in 19- I was just going to open the door to this podcast. The room's going to be on fire. What did you do? I was gone.

In 1957, he becomes the commander of the strategic air command because LeMay goes up the military chain and becomes the chief staff. And this is where he just, it's his time to shine, baby. Because the commander of strategic air command has the authority to start nuclear war without the president if he can't get a hold of the president. So he's really fucking excited. He also fucking hates the communists. A lot of parallel. Like a lot. So, and he has a book called Design for Survival, which I read before I came into this. And he's just like, it was published right before he died. And he's just like, you just fuck them. You just nuke them. Like it just reads,

like, we will fuck them. The only way to get for us to win is for them to live. It's for them to lose, it's bad, you know, it's so bad. America, America being like we should just commit mass murder to ensure the victory of capitalism. I can't. What a fringe position for someone to hold. It's very funny when you think about people who are, you know, like anti-communist as like, I don't know, a human rights thing. It's like, no, no, actually, we should have just nuked Moscow because those people are hauntologically evil. What an autological evil of this episode, huh? Yes.

So this is where I get to my comparison. Because everybody says in Dr. Strangelove, General Buck Turgisand is LeMay. And after reading this guy's book, it's like, no, this is 100% general power. Like just the, you know, 20, we'll only lose 20 million people if we strike now. I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair must. Yeah. Yeah, we wouldn't get our hair must. Exactly.

It's amazing that, what's his name? The guy who directed the moon landing films. Kubrick. Cooper. Yes. Kubrick. Stanley Kubrick accurately described every single archetype in the military with one guy, Peter Sellers.

This is apocryphal, so maybe, I don't know if it's 100% true, but I had read that part of the reason he made Dr. Strangelove was because he was trying to assuage his own fears about like nuclear war. And this was the best image of like the military industrial complex that he could get with from declassified information. And he was basically right about literally everything. Yes. And he was kind of like, well, I guess it's not worth worrying about because it's all really stupid. Yep.

Well, like that scene where Turgisans like the, you know, will he make any of? He's like, he gets down real low and he comes along the tree line. Oh, yeah, hot damn, he'll make it. Like, that's this guy. It's 100%. Like LeMay, who's like, Curtis LeMay was there for Cuba for the Cuban Missile Crisis. And he was one of the guys telling Kennedy like, go get him. Oh, the, bum, fuck him.

Yes. And yes, I thirst for blood. He said that power was a sadist. Oh, dear. A subordinate commander of powers described him as a hard, cruel individual. I used to worry about general power. I used to worry that general power was not stable. Oh, dear.

I mean, that's, yeah, that's, that, that average biography of a rabid anti-communist in the U.S. military from the beginning of the Cold War to the end of the Cold War, not being a stable individual. Yeah, that seems accurate. Yes. That's not all right. Yeah. So just imagine this guy in charge of everything we're about to talk about because he was. So next slide, please. So now it's time to talk about the good guys of this presentation.

Something tells me that we are firmly into an area where God has never witnessed anything. Oh, God's witness it. All these people are going right to hell. So I just feel like this is like occasionally we have episodes where there's like hey this guy was pretty cool like you know the guy who invented like the blowout preventer like he seemed nice I don't think anybody in this episode is like oh he seemed nice no these guys are all fucking psychopats there there is one guy it was Einstein and then everyone else was like no there's one guy in the in Sandia which is what we're about to talk about that's actually As close to a saint as you can get as a person that developed nuclear weapons.

Glowing reference. The patron saint of nuclear weapons. But, all right, so Sandia Corporation. Hopefully I'll get on it. Yeah. Los Alamos, which I'm sure you've heard of, if you've heard of the nuclear bomb, and livable or national laboratory, which you probably know if you're in California, were two bomb designing laboratories.

So they would come up with the amounts, the systems, the way to make a nuclear explosion happen. Sandia was created in 1949 to take the design of making a nuclear bomb an actual bomb instead of just a theoretical operation. This was the bomb factory for all United States, production. They are who came up with safety systems, or lack they're up, triggering systems and how to put it all together. That's not great.

Yeah. But they came up with like 90% of the 3,000 to 6,500 components that made all the nuclear bombs work and happen. But the problem is back in the 50s and 60s, we needed this shit now because the Russian, had more of shit, right? So theoretically. Theoretically. So Sandia was in a really tough spot because they had customers. The Air Force was their customer, not just a government liability.

So they had to deliver what the Air Force wanted and the Air Force wanted now. So safety. You got to love American military procurement where it's like, yeah, we, no one else is allowed to do this. And there's just this one company that we've actually given the ability to handle all of this nuclear material. But we're going to treat them like an actual corporation that we're going to put an order in with.

Yeah. Like when you see those, I've seen pictures of like the ads in D.C. Where it's like thinking about defense, try ordering the joint strike, the F-35 joint strike fighter. And it's like that is an advertisement that somebody paid several hundred thousand dollars for to appeal to two people who will use the D.C. Metro. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

It's fascinating. What a great system. You know, I totally get why it was worth killing hundreds of thousands of people for desiring a better world to make sure we could continue doing this. I'm not. I think that should be the new line of the podcast, actually. This was a completely worthwhile tradeoff to kill like millions of 20 million. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. You know, I don't know. I was going to say, I should probably look up. like what the actual total death account from like all, you know, global South incursions that Vietnam and Korea were. But I think I'd get too depressed. So we're just going to say it was a bunch.

I wonder how much an advertisement of the Pentagon Metro station would cost. We could probably put one in. Oh, I'm on it. Hang on. Yeah. Do you see Metro advertise? I'm on it. I'm on it.

I'll get back to you. Okay. We should we should turn. We should turn, well, there's your problem into the new war thunder. forums. We could just get guests to come on and give us classified information. God. Just the pot. God, whistleblot us. We can be trusted. So, yeah, I'll just forget who told me the information, like, insomely.

Not, like, as, like, a k-fabe thing. Like, I'll actually forget it. Oh, yeah. I'm, like, mostly faceblind anyway. Like, you could do like deep throat to me in broad daylight and I'd be like I don't know my war takes is probably about to have a stroke their their whole brain must be burning right now from this conversation all right hold up yeah all right so I gotta go to out front but I think I can do it um you want me to see how much of costs or what do you want me to do you want to go have zies you want to do like half well there's your problem do half train girlies mo yeah I don't see why not cool I'll contribute to this go fund me yeah I'm just in a

one, just one side at the, well, there's your problem. The Pentagon Metro. Good what you wanted to say. Leap to us. Well, there's your problem. Just like a god milk font and it just says,

like war thunder? Well, there's your problem.com. I know a septa bus advertising campaign is not so expensive. Got secrets? Where are your people? on leak us your state secrets you fucking nerds so back on topic

sandia stopped being totally evil in 1979 when they became a national laboratory which they were so desperate for money they started getting other projects like supercomputing and less evil stuff but they still do the evil stuff I was to say powerful computers are certainly only used for good today.

I said less. This stuff ends things in a second. Oh shit. These guys built the Whopper. Yeah, pretty much. Oh, man. Yeah, war games. War games.

Oh, I thought, I thought it was perfect. I was like, damn, I didn't know we had a whole laboratory to build the perfect burger. Describing military procurement to an American. Imagine a burger. God damn it. So anyway. Home of the Whopper. There's a guy that comes up in all these instances,

not all these incidents, but a couple called Bob Purifoy. And he starts out as a general technician and ends as one of the directors of the laboratory. He is in safety. He is one of the guys that's sent out when a broken arrow happens to go decide. if the safety systems are intact

and if it's okay to like proceed with the weapon. He never really felt like he did his job right and was happy with what the military ended up demanding of him. So as we go on... Nuclear bomb safety guy with imposter syndrome is a really good character bit.

Just imagine a guy that every time somebody is like, you know, we should put we should make it so this can't detonate if somebody drops a screwdriver or a socket. And everybody in the room's like, ah, no, no. And he just starts bashing his head against his desk. This guy. It's this guy. So anyway, next slide, please.

Yes. So what you're looking at is the first real safety system of a nuclear weapon. And this is what was used on the bombs in Japan. This is what was used in pretty much all bombs up to late 1950s. It's called the Birdcage. That's a picture on the right. And what it is is a, you would take the bomb in the casing, which has all the explosives, all of the detonators, and all of the timing and radar devices that tells the bomb where it is

and what it's doing. That's the bomb. Then you'd pull out the core, which is the part. that makes the bomb nuclear and you put it in its little lockbox essentially. I am trying to think with the BDSM device.

Chastity Cage. Chasty Cage. That's it. That's why you have me here. Come on. That's a lot of it. Or the vacuum cube. That also could be a vacuum cube. The latex vacuum cube is what I was thinking, yeah.

Oh, God. Why not both? It's got a padlock. Move on swiftly, please. So for our next two incidents, this is how the bomb was rendered safe. Quotes, safe. Okay. So next slide, please. Oh, baby. Oh, I'm so ready.

This is a B-36 peacemaker. It was designed during World War II to be a bomber that could take off from the United States, bomb Germany, and come back. Question mark. Question mark. I don't love TBD on getting back. The thought was, you know, it'd either go to Great Britain and refuel or question mark, depending on what happened to Great Britain.

So, and... Yeah, yeah, a glide slope to Reykjavik. A great landing is when you get to use the plane again. So this was used, or sorry, this was in service from 1946 to 1959. Because at this point, military procurement was like, keep everything. everything. And as this got, you know, stopped being, fuck, what's the word? Operational? No. Relevant. Relevant. Relevant words. So when this stopped being relevant, you still had to keep it because it's the only playing that could deliver certain bombs. And

it, they had it. So why not keep it? Use it for, it can fall behind the B-52 and just clean up the mess, right? And by clean up the mess, you would make the mess considerably worse. So I could talk about this thing for hours. I love this plane, but it's not the point of this. This is back when Boeing used to make planes that fucked. Conver. This is a Conver. It's a Conver.

Okay. My apologies. It's magnesium. It's the magnesium overcast. They had reconvaries. I love using flammable metals. I'm just going to say, magnesium, that stable metal from everyone's favorite season of Le Mans. But it had recon variants.

It had a version that had parasite fighters that could go into the bomb bay and fall out and go fight off fighter aircraft and come back. They built the XC99, which was like the KC one, or sorry, the C5 of its day, which was this just a huge cargo plane that they used a little bit and then stopped using because who cares about moving shit around. We just want to nuke shit. And they made a nuclear variant that was. propelled by nuclear reactor, a nuclear reactor. I'm beginning to see how the writers have fallout created the world that they wrote into every Transment's favorite video game. Accurately depicted the world as it was if they had gone a little bit further.

Yes. Just a tiny bit. Yes. This is famous for, and I'm taking a statement from a former pilot. There's many ways to put this. This is famous for six turning, four burning, because it had six prop engines and four jet engines, but it also was known as two turning, two smoking,

two sputtering, and two burning. That sounds about right. That's not enough. What about the other two? Just keep two on account it for. Just keep tacking more engines. More engines more good. This thing's going to get the great break if it kills us, man.

Two are doing nothing. They're just relaxing. They might have fallen off. You never know. But it was so fucking cool. It is the largest plane. at the United States Air Force Museum. It is like that one that scared me shitless when I was a child.

I love this plane. But it's also the coolest plane because next slide, please. The engines on top of this fucking thing came off that plane. Jay Sate, I regret to inform you. I have to hand it to you. This is cool. The M497, the still fastest self-propelled rail car, still to this day, flew it with J-47 engines on top of the damn thing.

They took them off a decommission bomber and bolted them on top and went for it in 19. Dude's fucking rock. Still has the North American Railroad speed record to my knowledge. Also very funny that they have a, is this a Pito tube? Yes. Oh my God. I'm just, now I'm just rotating in my mind the concept of this, but with a Penn Central livery on it.

We got damn. close. God, I just, I had to have the Green Hat Simp time after the G.G.1 episode. You're disgusting.

I hope you and Jay are very happy together. Dickhead. 193 mile per hour. Eat it. Okay, I'll eat it. Whatever, man. I've already taken L's of this episode.

I'm sorry. I just, I had to. So next slide, please. So the big fuck off plane, existed to carry the big fuck off bomb.

This is the Mark 17 thermonuclear bomb, which thermo means fusion, hydrogen bomb. It had a 15 megaton yield, so a thousand times more powerful than the bomb

dropped on a thousand. I did math. I did math wrong. 15 million tons of TNT. So imagine a big crate of Acby Dynamite. Right? And then 15 million of those.

That's this. That's this. Yeah. You can see it makes the guy look really small on both pictures. That's because it's also the heaviest thing we've ever dropped out of a plane as a as a nuclear bomb. It was in service from 54 to 57. So like for three years, this was the spicy boy we had.

Our first incident, we don't really have a good picture of, but imagine New Mexico. Mesa's desert, it's about it. Coyotes, roadrunners. In 1957, that's it. Maybe an Air Force Base, maybe some trains. That's about it. We're in Curtin, New Mexico, which is the Air Force Base Sandia is up against, and where all the spicy boys here are stored for either being built or decommissioned

because the Pantex is still in progress. On May 22nd, there is a B-36 ferrying one of these bombs to Curtland Air Force Base. And as it comes in for approach, just about noon o'clock, they're four miles out, about 1,700 feet up, coming down. And there's a rule when it came to nuclear weapons and planes. And that rule was that when you take off or you land, you have to pull the locking pin out of the, there's a, like a bicycle chain. a hook, quick release. If you ever seen Mythbusters, it's almost literally the black quick release

that they had on that show. You had to pull a pin out of the quick release so that if you needed to drop the bomb for any reason, an aborted takeoff, a crat, potential crash, et cetera, you could. So they deemed it was,

so just because I want to make sure I'm getting this right. Right. They deemed it safer to drop the bomb from 2,000 feet in the air and make sure it was thrown clear of the burning magnesium wreckage, correct. Okay. Yeah. I mean, that makes sense, honestly, since the plane is magnesium. Well, it's just general. It's whether it's magnesium or not, the thought was if there's a better chance the crew survives if the thing full of plastic explosives is not in the plane.

The U.S. Air Force was a was a no seatbelt type of institution. I understand this, yes. Yeah. Slapping my Puntisher belt buckle to get the chime to stop so I can land my B-36. So, so they,

they have to pull a safety pin out because it's, you put it in when you're in flight, you take it out when you're landing or taking off. They go to take it out and they pull it and bomb goes straight through the Bombay doors and straight to the ground. It's the ground and goes off.

Now the core is in the bird cage because they're, this ferry unit, but it still hits the ground and detonates. And all the plastic explosives in the bomb, just for three miles, you just throw shit everywhere. Blows out windows, makes Kirkland Air Force Base, shit their bricks. Bad. Very, very surprising and bad. Apparently the plane lifted up like 20, 30 feet instantly and then like an extra 100 as it, like,

coasted up from the weight loss, scared the shit out of the crew. and just generally was bad. I do imagine that, yeah, the shock experienced by accidentally dropping a nuclear bomb somewhere over rural Texas probably is pretty bad. Yeah. Well, and luckily, again, desert, it just falls into the desert by the Air Force base.

And turns it all into glass, easy peasy. And that's a glass factory. Even if you're in the Air Force and you don't care about anybody else on the ground, flying 1,700 feet above a detonating nuclear bomb is not a survivable situation, no matter how good your airplane is, I don't think. You got to go faster. Just, just, just, yeah, it's the SR 71 approach. Fly faster.

So this is, this is like the first broken arrow in the continental United States that gets any kind of press because, like, well, those like, everybody in Curtland knew something had gone off. So, because there was a, the first broken arrow, a plane crashed into a mountain in, in Canada. This was the one that was like, oh, oh, fuck. This can happen here. But it gets, but the bird cage worked. So, you know.

The bird cage worked. That guy with imposter syndrome should be like not quite as hard on himself, honestly. It's a start, but we move on. Next slide, please. This is the B-47. This is what was in essentially being built to fill a gap, between the B-52 and the B-36. Well, good thing we retired all those B-52s, huh?

Replace everything with the A-10. I know who's going to yell at me on the TV. Trump's Wiki, and I don't care. Give the A-10 newts. I like it's three engines on each side, but it's on teapods. Stressy-A-L-L-L-L? Yeah. One of my favorite things is that we have a B-52 here at the Aviation Museum,

at Boeing Airfield here in Seattle. And they have to leave it parked outside uncovered to comply with nuclear disarmament treaties so you can fly a satellite overhead and be like, yep, they're not using that B-52 because we still use them all the time. And so that one is decommissioned. So for it to not count as one of the active bombing force,

we couldn't put it under the covering that we made for the Concord and the 747 and stuff. A friend of mine took me there and told me that. I thought that was pretty funny because it is, they don't look like we should still be, flying at all. B-52s, that is. I mean, they just, they do not seem like a 21st century technology. Yeah, but they're so fucking cool. I don't know. I think the thing is, is like, you know, I was talking about, well, I was talking about like my strategic disengagement, you know,

kind of making my brain smooth to enjoy specific airplanes. And I think the thing is the B-52, I have never been able to achieve a level of smoothness where I can be like, oh, yeah, that's cool. It's just like, oh, man, we're still using this thing. It's dark. Well, because it can carry so fucking much. I mean, I understand why we use it, but also like, you know, you see a B-29, like, you see a B-29 and you're like, well, there's, there's, you can, you can convince yourself that like at some point this, you know, beat the Nazis or whatever, right?

Like, you see a B-52. This was exclusively used for the world's, like, most cold-blooded anti-communist freaks to murder entire, like, raised villages full of civilians because, you know, they didn't want the red venice to encroach on land 5,000 miles away from America. And we just keep doing that forever. And so it's like, I don't know. That one, I think the B52 is a little difficult for me to be like, it's cool. Plus it's goofy.

It's goofy. That's why it's cool. No, I think that the, I, like, this is a silly looking airplane. It is a silly looking airplane. We're going to get to it. There's a bunch of slides about it. I just, but you know what's sillier? The center wheels are really silly looking.

This is a beef. 47. That's why it's the dumbest fucking jet plane we've ever made. And I know I'm going to catch flag for that. But it's on bicycle gear. So if you break one of the little wheels off on the side, it goes tumbling over and skidding out. It didn't have enough power when loaded to get off the fucking grounds. So they had to put J-do and Rado engines on these things. Yes. Yes. The famous picture of this is one with the Radoes going off. But I like this one because it shows the other problem with this fucker. It's got a parachute because it doesn't have

enough ability to stop. Good. All gas, no brakes. Oh, gas, no brakes. But there's not enough gas to get off the fucking field. No gas, no brakes. It's balanced. We've achieved harmony. How did the U.S.

put up the kill counts it did with airplanes like this? Lots of them. This is insane. This, the worst part is this never bombed anything conventionally. I mean, No, I think that's good, actually. No, it's the worst thing. I think that's the good part.

Well, the problem is they made thousands of this fucking thing. I think it was like 1,100 and change. So this is the one post-World War II unproblematic fave for bombers because its kill count is measured solely probably in pilots. The B-36 is the same way. The B's 36. Same thing. It only dropped conventional bombs once, and that was for an air show. Dude's wrong.

We used to be a country. You could drop bombs at an air show. We're going to take out some sheep for you. I was reading the book on the fucking thing. That was like one of those like, wait a minute. It's, you know, forget what air show, but it's just like, drop for, you know, to prove a point at air show. I'm like, what?

Today we just crashed civilian airliners. Oh, my God. We should. Yeah. We could finally get rid of all. of the excess office space problem in Bellevue if we just made seafar a little bit cooler.

Everybody's like, what are we going to do with all these vacant buildings that we're never going to be able to use it for anything else? There you go. Oh, God, fuck. So, B-47 is the dumbest fucking plane we've ever built. And it also has, like,

a problem when it comes to doing its fucking job. And we're going to go to March 11, 1958 in Georgia. Oh dear, a date Second date This is in Savannah, Georgia I don't know why the fuck I kept thinking

Carolina I get those confused as well It's the south It's all the same It's all the same place It just goes on for miles So this thing takes off At 434 PM

As part of an operation Because the B-47 can Refuel in the air But they're trying to move these aircraft to Britain to be closer to the Soviet Union because we're not doing the air alerts yet in there. So they want to have it at RAF Brunting Thorpe. Brunting Thor. Base. That's where they're headed to and they're going to fly partially over the continental United States, then go out over the ocean, aerial fuel on the way, and then land.

You saying R.A.F. Brunting Thorpe really made me miss November. Yeah. I, that was one. I feel like she would know something about this. Yes. That's why it's in the notes, because it doesn't matter because they never made it. Oh, dear. Hi, Bert. Hi, Bert. Hi, Bert.

Oh. Where's me? Anyway. That's the problem with the, the, the, the, the, I have to have the slides up. I don't get to see Bird. Oh. Oh. Well, you got to hear him, though.

This is true. So, so this dumb fucking thing is up in the air on its way. Next slide, please. It's carrying the Mark Six nuclear bomb. This is essentially what was dropped on Japan, but just upgraded a little bit, sensors, safe, quote unquote, safety systems, and contact views on the front. Sorry, what's a contact fuse? What do you mean?

It's the, when it hits the ground, it goes off. Oh, okay. Boom. Yep, makes sense. Boom. So not an airburst. No, you could be, but it's not. That's the yellow dish on the front.

Okay. Somebody's going to yell at me for that. I don't care. But the policy still at this time is to pull the locking pin when you take off, put it back when you are in the air, right? 25 minutes after they take off, they have a device that puts it in now. You don't have to have a guy go back there. Well, the device isn't putting it back in. It's not locking.

Oh. So they send back Air Force Captain Bruce Kolka, who's the Navgarh Bombadier. It's his problem anyway, right, since he's a bombardier. They say, go back, knock out the fault light and put the fucking thing back in manually. So he crawls through, and if you look on the right, there's like that little hatch panel there. He's crawling down through the aircraft. And he's short. He's a short king.

Oh, no. And he can't actually get up to the locking pin to shove on it. So he has to lean up against the bomb to try and try and get the pin in. This is, you know, a couple thousand feet up in. the air. The bomb weighs about 76 to 8,500 pounds depending on the bomb, and he goes to

pull himself up to get to the pin, grabs a cable, and next slide, please. The cable he grabbed was the release cable. Oh, no. It's cut poorly. Oh, dear. The bomb falls onto the Bomb Bay doors. He shits

himself. Yeah, I would be, I would be breaking loose. puts both hands on the release cable and the bomb pushes the bomb bay doors open and falls out of the plane. Falls out of the plane! He does not. He is hanging on for dear life to that release cable

until the doors, because they were just pushed open, the bomb didn't fall through them. They just closed and he walks it back into the cockpit. Guys. The worst walk of shame ever completed. I have an announcement. Guys, you have no idea what happened. I'm sorry.

Well, they had an idea because the plane lurched up like 50 feet. I seem to have been a whoopsie-duce. This could happen to anyone, guys. Listen. Someone called the president. Well, well. Do you promise you won't be mad at me? No, I do not promise that.

Well, that I'm not going to tell you what happened. You want to go back there and check? I don't think so. Hey, is the pin back in? Doesn't matter. So a couple seconds go by. Next slide, please. And the crew hears the boom from the plane.

Oh, good. Well, look out the window. There's the end of civilization, assholes. Well, this is a birdcage bomb. So luckily, they didn't vaporize Mars Bluff. But it fell down onto a house in Mars Bluff, which is near Florence, South Carolina. Long South Carolina.

Long, South Carolina. Yeah, you can do it better than I can't because you're from below the Miss Dixon. So it falls down about 100 yards from this guy's house, Walter Gregg, and it goes off when it hits the ground, and contact you, right? And he says it's like an artillery shell went off next to their house. But his family was there. His kids were out playing.

And it just, boom, suddenly. And Knox's whole house almost over, like blows out the roof, knocks his garage over, destroys his car. How his kids survived? I will never know. Because if you look at the picture, like, it vaporized the trees nearby. Look, no one wants to admit it, but like, kids are pretty durable. It's like, I forget what movie it is.

It's like, I don't, I can't recall, but like, there is a movie where, um, some kid like runs out into traffic and like gets hit by like six different trucks and just gets up and keeps running. It's dust himself off. It is kind of the average kid. Yeah. Yeah, like right about you hit like, uh, you hit like 18 and, um, you know, then you become a delicate little flower.

It's a testament. And it's a testament to how poorly designed American trucks are and like SUVs, they kill so many kids. Because generally speaking, like it can get hit by a Honda Civic. They just walk that off. Yes. Oh, he's yawning. Get some coffee, Roz. I can hear it in your voice there, bud.

So House becomes Hausent. And the crew, so the crew gets transferred overseas after they like land, debrief. everybody gets like, you're a communist spy and they're like, no, Kolka's just an idiot. But they get transferred overseas for another assignment as a in Strategic Air Command. And they all wrote letters to Walter Gregg

saying we're sorry, which I thought was adorable. Like, sorry your house anymore. But good things your kids can survive a nuclear bomb. So, so he sues the Air Force. for obvious damages, and they gave them $54,000, which is like $600,000 in today's money.

It's not that bad. That's pretty good for your house getting house leveled, your car getting blown up. Your kids never. Not getting vaporized. Not getting vaporized. Yeah, all that stuff was a lot cheaper back then, especially the kids. I mean, really like, my hearing here is like control. These are, these are some policy suggestions.

The U.S. military should write up, a, uh, a, letter apologizing for everybody's house that they blow up. And they should give them $600,000. Like, that would be a notable improvement in like U.S. foreign policy. Right. Well, my favorite little fun fact at the end of all this is in 1958. The family went on CBS for the show, I've got a secret. You know, one of those where they like ask questions to figure out why you're famous. And their secret was our house was hit by an atom bomb. Oh, dear. It's like back then, like, nobody's going to fucking believe you.

I mean, to be fair, I don't think that's necessarily a back then type deal. I don't know if I'd believe it if somebody came up to me now and was like my house was hit by an Adam bomb. I'd be like all over social media. Sure. Show me the video. This is going on TikTok immediately. So next slide, please. So the Sabrina Carpenter dance is just like that.

Papyrized in front of your house has turned into fucking piles of brick. So like you can go see this still technically not really They there used to be like this really nice The the crater's still there and there was this like little nice Like information thing and signs pointing to it Is that say crater road? Yes They named the trailer park road

Crater Road I fucking love the South That's awesome I like the federal highway administration, you know, styled sign that says atomic bomb crater site. Yes. So all this has been taken down since the trailer park disappeared. And now it's trespassing to go back there.

So you really shouldn't. Some of us have not saying who. But the metal highway sign's still there. So you got an idea where it is. But in the Florence County Museum, they have pieces of the bomb. Neat. That was found after the accident. And a congressman kept them and then donated them.

with the um i every story about a 50s congressman is insane oh yeah yeah i just segregation forever here's some atom bombs if it if it falls in your district it's legally yours yeah yeah it's public property well like i also i also know

somebody that has a piece of it with pain on it still i'm not going to say who but it might be the same idiot in the picture with the pieces the congressman gave. I just love the, the museum did this like whole thing with like the bomb falling towards the house. And they're just so proud that this happened in their little county.

Like, come look at our museum. There's nothing else, but we almost got newped. It's almost South Carolina. Florence County, South Carolina. You go to Myrtle Beach. You go to that hearties I used to manage it. They call it party arties. Is it drugs always better to do?

Florence County, Sanctal Quay? No, I think I've been to this fucking horrible county, hold on. Why? It has... I forget, if it was a Dow or a Monsanto plant was like the other big thing in the... Myrtle Beach is a...

Like, no, I think this is where I went to crew camp. Oh, you poor son of a bitch. Horry County, South Carolina, it's Myrtle Beach. Gotcha. I love Myrtle Beach, man. I will never surrender my love trash. Hold on. My wife's from there, so I...

My family did Hilton Head as a kid. Oh, you want to help that. Oh, that's nice. Hilton Head's nice. Yeah, this is not what we're talking about, Victoria. That's the only thing I know. I don't know what Murgle Beach is like. So... A shithole.

It rules. For time's sake, I had to leave off the time that we almost nuked Hilton Head. Oh. When a B-47 broke up over top of Tybee Island and dropped a bomb, that we still haven't found. Yeah, I remember that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

A fun prize for the listeners of this show. Tybee Island fucking rules, by the way. You get so goddamn drunk there. I left it out because that's pretty much the whole story. It's plane hits an F88A6 falls apart. Bomb goes into the sand, never found again. But had I have known you went to Hilton Head, I would have included. Yeah, Ty Bell.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been fucked up drunk there. It rules. Well, I mean, what better plays. And then they have Fort Scravon where they're like, oh, yeah, the brave men of the Confederacy. You're like, maybe not. Maybe we should have new. Boys in gray.

All right, fun. Real in a little bit. I like the thought that that bomb has dissolved in the saltwater by now. But there's also a part of me that's like, man, I wish it would just go off. Yeah, you can go to the, what's the bar I'm thinking of down there with the, the uh the dacheries that got me fucked up drunk and my wife had to drive me home because I was just like oh I had one of these now

nope that's a good daccarry one can get you like that yeah no fucking kidding next slide ever clear my my my muse and mortal enemy oh my computer just glitched hard uh okay we're good Ross by he's tired

he's a sleepy baby I'm going as fast as I can I know I'm not mad at you I'm mad at Ross I got I got uh I got I got I got I got fucked up last night making chili. Did you save me some at least? Yeah, no, there's plenty of chili left. Thank you.

I'll be over soon. Chili sounds so fucking good. I know what I'm doing tomorrow. Okay. Sealed pit weapons. So probably should have a thing earlier about how nuclear weapons work, but I didn't want to have to do this twice.

So here we are. Is it fair? A standard plutonium nuclear weapon is a sphere of plutonium with a neutron initiator, put right in the center of the sphere, surrounded by a soccer ball essentially of plastic explosives. And when all those explosives go off at the same time,

it takes that sphere of plutonium, makes itty-bitty, makes all the atoms hit each other, makes all the neutrons go out, and then the whole bomb goes, and you have your nuclear explosion. The whole bottom goes, ooh, talk to me about Pride Night. Yes. So that is your standard system.

Looney Tunes shit. Yeah. I love that we've created a way to annihilate civilization with Looney Tunes shit. Well, true. You take an amount of, you know, plutonium, and it's like, well, this is not a critical mass, but if we make it smaller it is. And so you explode a bunch of stuff around it and then there she goes. Off, off to the races.

So, but that's how, because it's that simple, that's how you can get the birdcage style weapons where you pull the whole core out and you're just left with the explosives, right? Okay. As weapons design gets more intense and you start coming out with what's called boosted weapons, which is where you put like deuterium or tritium gas inside the core for a detonation, which gives you a little bit of a fusion boost instead of fission. Or you have your thermonuclear weapons, which you use a primary, which is your, vision weapon to start a secondary which creates your nuclear fusion, things get too complicated to

where you can pull the core out like as a guy. Like you have dissembled whole fucking thing to do it. So on the right kind of shows you how these worked where there was a gas reservoir, the teal thing, that would pump the gas into the core, which is, you know, a mixture of plutonium and other alloys. And then you still have the soccer ball of plastic explosives and detonators set to a timing unit that's called the X unit, which is essentially the flash bulb system to flash all the detonators at once. Make sense? Enough to guess over the road. Yeah. You're Winston Link bomb. Yes. But this in front, 611, perfect. My problem's in. Wouldn't be the first time 611 killed someone. So that's, we're now on that system where they're not pulling the cores out, they're entirely

reliant on the safety systems in the bomb, which are little to none in the 1950s. So next slide, please. Yeah, but like, obviously all of these planes are incredibly reliable and would never crash. So it's not going to be a serious concern. That B36, that looked like a solid piece of engineering that would certainly never have any failures. Well, we're in the age of a different kind of plane. So power is always like... I'm going to use the restroom.

I'll be right back. Got some coffee while you're there. Oh, that. Well, I have to brew it is the problem. Okay, so do that. Get an energy drink. He doesn't drink them. He thinks you're gross.

I keep telling them. Ross, we're at the halfway point. I think you're safe to brew some coffee. We're at the half. Are you fucking kidding? There are 20 more slides. This speeds up. There's like four.

that are like, no, it doesn't Scooter, why are you lying? Yeah, I was just going to say, I did. This is my first, this is my first episode where I've actually, you know, co-guested with Scooter, but like, I think I've learned at this point that that's not true. Thanks. Appreciate it. Yeah. Yeah,

absolutely, you're thorough. You want to see what I can do? Watch this. Can you see the back of my chair? Ready? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, boy. So one of the comments is like, I appreciate that Leah makes visual only jokes that we never get to And I was like, yep. Here comes in a... That's right, dickhead.

Well, I didn't say it earlier, but when Corinne was standing in the hallway behind you, Yeah. It looked like fucking Slender Man was about to get you from the picture and picture I've got right now. If, if only. Oh, God. Jeez, what? All right, well, I will do my best to keep this under three hours. hours. It's not. Oh, it's not going to be under three hours. Come on. I said my best. Don't worry. I cut out

12 slides. Fuck you. If things go well, there's a whole other episode. All right. So if Roz is going to do God knows what, I'm going to also, uh, I'm going to grab some more beveragey knows because we're going to be here a fucking minute. All right. Scooter, I'm not mad at you. Keep talking. Can we take a quick break? Yeah, go. Yeah, go. I have to pee! Alright, so pee, I don't-do on stream, so to speak.

If only I had my camera, just for you. Hang on! Alright, I'll be right back. All right. Philadelphia flyers. Three seconds. Victoria, do you know where I live? I do, but just like, I don't know.

It's a teen dating violence awareness day. We're supposed to wear orange, so this is the one orange thing I own, and it's a Lindross jersey. Lindrauss jersey. I'm a social worker, man. You're back. All right. Hi, it's Justin. So this is a commercial for the podcast that you're already listening to.

People are annoyed by these, so let me get to the point. We have this thing called Patreon, right? The deal is you give us two bucks a month, and we give you an extra episode once a month. Sometimes it's a little inconsistent, but, you know, it's two bucks. You get what you pay for. It also gets you our full back catalog of bonus episodes

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or don't it's your decision and we respect that back to the show oh cool I'm the only one here yep it's just me Victoria oh okay I'm here too hey scooter

thank you for the break that was much needed yeah don't piss your pants that would be bad you wouldn't know oh daddy I've got allowed to piss my pants on air now

I live under tyranny. I don't know. I, you know, no, I'm not even going to make that joke because someone's going to get way too into it. What? Someone here is going to have a piss fetish.

Oh, guarantee. Yeah. In the audience? Yeah, at the audience. Which is fine. You know, consenting adults and all that, but, you know.

Not me. Hello? Not with me. No, I don't have a piss fetish. I know that. I was just waiting for Ross to just like turn around to be like, I came in at the wrong time. Well, we're ready when you are, handsome.

So what I'm getting from this image is that Iceland is just island. Wait a minute. Oh, shit. Oh, okay. Well, this fucking image is used everywhere for this. So that's funny. It literally just says island. Yeah, it's island.

Just island. Yeah, that's an island. We don't give a shit. You don't give a shit about Rakey. I look that Elzer Island is labeled, but Iceland is not. Yeah. Okay. Well, shows how much I've added it.

So we're here, speaking of fetches, we're here to talk about Chrome Dome. Oh, yeah, I love bald guys. Fuck, Daddy, fill me up. I thought it was Golden Dome. I thought that was how President Trump was going to protect this. You want this to last seven hours? I'll start talking about that, but not today, buddy. Oh, buddy.

I've written papers on how mad I am about fucking going to dome but not today I'll be good but not today so Chrome Dome is powers is like magnum opus it takes bombers that are sane on runways with weapons loaded ready to go with 15 minutes warning they can get from on the runway to up in the air and away from the base

to there is always a bomber in the air at all times less than two hours away from the Soviet. That is psychotic. Yep. And there's three different routes there on too. Yeah. So I, just as like a side note, as like an American kid who had a grandfather who served in Korea,

this was like one of the things he was happiest about when he would talk to me about, like, the American military. This is a weird point of pride for a certain generation and a certain mindset of person. This is boo nan's. as Jay Sonti would say. Yeah, no, I don't think it was good. I mean, I love my grandfather,

but I think his opinions about American foreign policy were bad. You got to hang out with my dad. I like a complicated and elaborate system. Yes, you do. I'll be honest with you. This was, buddy. So there were, Chrome Dome was keeping 12 planes in the air at all times,

with aerial refueling, and they'd leave from United States bases, go to what was called a fail. safe point, hang out there for a minute, and then come back. Bailsafe point is the point to where they're sitting there waiting for a go code, which is strategic air command getting the authorization from the president, or whoever the hell sends it that's got permission at the time, to go nuke the Soviet Union.

God, this is psychotic. This is boo nanos. It's even there were some pilots who were like, damn, I hope we get it this time. I hope we finally get to do it. Oh, yeah. Just like one figure, like, come on, Mr. President. Come on, Nixon, you son of a bitch.

Let's go. Let's cook. This will be it, buddy. This will be it. Just because the president is drunk doesn't mean it's not a valid command. You go, that's out saying, I'm a spirit here. So with this operation, right, there's a lot of aerial refueling. We'll get to it.

And also, there are a lot of planes just constantly. shulling around in the United States to make sure there's enough bombers at the bases these about it. Moving this, moving these guys are almost of a nightmare fias. Yes. Yes. And keeping the planes maintained and keeping the bombs armed and maintained.

Absolute fucking nightmare. And during the Cuban missile crisis, 66 B-52s were on these routes at once. Jesus. Wow. 60 fucking six. Like there would, If you were in like Plattsburgh, New York, one would be taking off like every 10 minutes. And Plattsburgh, I've been there. Yeah.

But imagine, imagine you're like, I have to instigate the nuclear holocaust and also I have to live in Plattsburgh, New York. While I have been there, we, we get to say it. They won't even let me go, go take the ferry to Burlington. So there's also one other that we'll talk about coming up, but there's also that little figure eight up there, Tully. We'll get to that later. So next slide, please. So for these missions, they're used, I keep waiting for the slide to change, like no dumb ass that you tested. So the plane that they had to use on these was the B-52. It's the big fuck-off bomber that we came up with in the early, or late 40s and put into service in the early 50s. And it went through like

iteration after iteration after iteration to keep adding bullshit to this bomber. Yeah, what are we all now, B-52H? Yes. Something like that. I mean, the airframes are still like a million years old. Yeah. Yeah. As I said, Amfleet of the skies.

Yeah, no kidding. You can loiter forever. Yeah. So my great-grandfather flew this plane. My grandfather flew this plane. My daddy flew this plane. His son will fly this plane. And so on and so forth.

2040. 2040. Oh my God. Fuck you, America. You know what's really nice, at least, these planes will finally get the retirement they deserve when America no longer exists. Oh, sister, you're wrong about that. Oh, I mean, they'll get displayed at like various Chinese air museums. I mean, you know.

Oh, the Museum of American Exceptionalism I was going to fund with our Pentagon dollars. Link it to us! I was going to say, these things are fucking everywhere already, man. Yeah, we got the one sitting outside here in Seattle. Yeah. You know? They're like every Air Force base there ever was because there were so many fuckers. Anyway, the one we're looking at.

Luckily, they were only ever used justly to advance the cause of democracy. Yeah. Unlike all the other planes, these were unfortunately used with conventional weapons a lot. I'm aware. Again, I was the one who earlier in this very episode was like, yeah, I get a little nauseous whenever I see it B. 52, because I just think about like what the kill count is. Yeah, they were secret Cambodian bombings. They didn't really happen. Operation linebacker. Oh, God. No, I fully admit that like, you know, America's kind of like cool plane overwhelms my sort of like anti-imperialism sometimes because like the Super Bowl was this weekend.

They had a B-1 go over? Mm-hmm. And now I was like, oh, damn. that's pretty cool honestly yeah one of my it's a it's a slick looking airplane I don't know I mean like sure we commit atrocities but like damn one of my high school like best friends flies the B one now and it's one of those like god damn man how you do that also god damn yeah you know that that was that was definitely complicated feelings arose and then the Seahawks one so I was like okay so what we're looking at is the B52 D this

This is, you know, they're building iterations as like the productions going. They're finding laws and fixing them. Kind of, maybe. Boeing's not really, how do I put this? The Air Force doesn't give a shift. There's flaws, but they're fixing them as they think about. The important part about the D model is take a look at that big fuck-off tail. It's very tall.

It's very very tall. That is very important because the 52 lives by, uh, spoilers instead of ailerons. So it'll just, instead of the little flaps on the side that like turn up and down, these just go down, depending on which direction you want to go and steers you. I'm not, I am an airplane fanatic, not an airplane engineer. If I'm getting this wrong, yell at me in the comments. I don't care.

But it uses spoilers and that's like, you know, it's kind of like putting your foot down on one side if you're on a skateboard. It'll help turn you a little. Oh, okay. So that makes sense. I don't make any bones about pretending to know how. planes work. I have no fucking idea. Well, the best I can

describe. This podcast is, uh, it's several times in the past, uh, fucked up on airplanes. Yeah, we do that. Yeah. I'm doing my best here because like, you're doing great, handsome. Very complicated. Yeah. To like imagine. But anyway, that's how they turn these fuckers is power and the spoilers instead.

And as big fuck off tail helps keep it, you know, everything in line. Uh, this design was what was, used, this is like the famous picture of the ones used to bomb Vietnam because they did the black paint so you couldn't see them versus the silver and white for nuclear

flash protection. So there you go. We're going to January 13th, 1964. One of these is coming back to Turner Air Force Base from Westover Air Force Base, Massachusetts, where it landed and needed maintenance

to go back to Turner. And it is carrying two B-15, 53 nuclear bombs. I'm sure nothing bad will happen based on this episode so far. This is the second largest bomb ever fielded. It's a nine megaton yield. So the first one, the one at the very beginning, the 41, was in short service. This one was designed in 1955.

It was retired by Obama. That's not real, is it? That's real. That's real. I've had enough of you. The last. Obama came to the bomb and said, I relieve you of your duty. He came to the retirement ceremony.

Really? I'm pretty sure there's either he like did a signage signature or he's there. I can't remember, but like, I'm just imagining Barack Obama signing the bomb personally. Just pulling the core out himself. Well, there it is. No, just like, just like pulling out a Sharpie and just like be a bomb. Let me be clear. I relieve you.

He's just signing him. his name across it. But anyway, so these things are in ferry configuration, which they have the electrical connections pulled so that the arming switches on the bomber can't arm them, right? So technically they should be safe, but not really.

Because like anything can happen, right? Well, speaking of anything happening, next slide, please. Something's gone poorly here. Yeah, over Big Savage Mountain in Western Maryland near the Western Maryland Scenic Railroad. Yeah. That's where they got that big steam locomotive.

1309. And like three of my train friends is, you know, hi, Cameron, I know you're listening. I will say, somebody reached out to me to be like, hey, I'll give you a tour of the Snoqualmie Railroad Museum because I was on the show and talked about how much I love it. Like my wife and I, like, you know, had our first date there.

That was a perk of being on here. I never realized. Was it just like railroad museums would reach out and be like, hey, you want to come check out trains? I think I probably would have signed up to be a host much sooner if I had known that was kind of like one of the perks of the job. They have the train plushy, the squishable train. Highly recommend you go just to get that.

I ordered one. It's adorable. I had to support them. We donated a Talgo to them. Yeah, I have the, on my laptop, I've got the Trains Pride, Transflag, colored steam locomotive sticker that they designed there. Hell yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Back to the tail. getting ripped off this fucker. So they're over a big savage mountain, they're having problems with turbulence, so they're going up and down, trying to find a good spot in the air to be. And they drop down from 33,000 feet,

and all of a sudden, the plane just, like, stops planing and starts to, like, spin and roll. That's good, right? Yeah. What had happened was the tail. What happened was? The tail, but too big

and Boeing knew about it this had been happening a lot and just three days before one did this in its like in like testing they called it shake row and roll testing where they're like trying to get into turbulence and low altitude high speed

you know stuff and it just these things the tail would just shear off due to turbulence because it wasn't properly it wasn't properly supported are you telling me that Boeing knew about an issue with an airplane and didn't publicize it? Fuck you.

The Air Force also knew and then publicize it to their crews, because they knew how to arrest this. That's why this one's still flying. Jesus. Jesus. Just put it back on. Just put it back on. Slap it back on.

What are you whining about? Get in there. Just have the guy get out of the bomb bay. Go get it. Okay. The thing is, is like, I, you know, I think usually on this show, you know, pictures are just kind of like the illustrate things. the audience. But occasionally one picture is so incredible that I think about the mindset of

photographer that took it. This is one of those photos. Like, yeah, this is in a chase plane. How the fuck did you get this shot, man? This is a change plane. The pilot's probably just going, holy fucking shit. Are you guys okay? Hold it steady for a second. I need to get a photographs. We're going to be in a podcast 50 years from now. You know, this is obviously like solidly in the film era and like my grandfather who I've mentioned previously in this episode did was a photographer for the U.S. Army

during the Korean War era. And he told me about how he would like mess up shots sometimes because he was a 22 year old guy with a film camera. And I just can't imagine the tension of going up in the air with a with a film camera and being like hope I got that.

It'll be fine. So speaking of being fine, it's not fine with the guys in Western Maryland because it's snowing, it's shitty out. They're just over a mountain. They hit turbulence of the mountain. That plane spins out and goes down. Into a field near,

oh God, did I not put it in the fucking notes? You did not. Oh, it's not. You are. You are, of everybody, of everybody who's ever been on this show, you have the most seat of the pants notes I've ever seen, I think.

Because I used to write about the shit all. Salisbury. It's in Salisbury, Pennsylvania, just south of that. Or Salisbury, Maryland. Salisbury, Maryland is on the eastern shore. You're right. That's why I was confused. Yes.

Yeah, it's Salisbury PA. Okay. Sorry. Yes. Yes. Yes. Right there near Grantsville. Yeah.

Okay. Somerset County. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah. My fault. My fault. Yeah, it goes down south of Grantsville.

Salisbury is where it like breaks apart. Also, coincidentally, where Flight 93 went down, basically. not totally there, but close. It's north, northeast of that. So anyway, it's all connected. I can't believe Epstein did this. I got to tell you, I'm going to be in Dallas briefly, and I was like, oh, speaking of connected,

I'm going to go to JFK. I'm going to see where JFK got. I said, I'm going to Dealey Plaza. And I'm going to be like, Justin Rosziak did JFK's assassination. Please link to us. I thought North Carolina and barbecue did that too. What do you got? I mean, I just did that.

No, I didn't. do that. And the nuclear weapon isn't mine. No, no. It's not a broken arrow. It's a one piece, motherfuckers. How do you think they got it? I don't look at it. I don't know what the status is.

Just going to the base with like a burning your eyes. So next slide, please. So plane crashes, surprise, surprise. And we'll get to what happens to the crew. But when the plane goes down, the bombs stay in the bomb bay.

Good, right? Well, Yes. The first person... It's called Mumbai now, dude. Uh-huh. It's called Mumbai now, dude. The first person to show up is the sheriff.

Oh, they were. And he's trying to, like, look over the crash site to see, like, what's going on. And he climbs on top of something in the field. And he'd later describe it as the big silver round object that look like a fuel tank. He was standing on one of one. of the bombs. Oh my god, you fucking moron. So, are you seeing what it looked like? Believe it or not, he was actually the smartest cop American ever had.

So, all right. So planes and just shattered all over the place. Bombs are there. It's snowy. Is this, it just, just as an aside, is this the one where they can still like go visit the tail? Like, there's still like a tail somewhere. That's in Maine. Oh, okay. Yeah, they're all the parts, like all the big parts are gone from this one. Oh no, my can. So it's like super fucking snowy because it's Western Maryland in January and it's really

bad out. So of course the Air Force like freaks out, panics, and sends the bomb squad of the Army instead, just because they're close. And they get there and find two bombs, just kind of like chilling in the middle of this plane crash and they're like, we got to get this move now because the news is going

to see this and we need to get these bombs out of here. So they go to the local quarry owner and go, hey, you have heavy equipment that can get us through the snow. We're borrowing it. And he's like, cool beans. I'd love to help. And they're like, okay, we'll help. So they go and start lowing this shit on his, like, tractor trailers and stuff with, like,

bulldoze, right? This is so fucking raggedy ass. But they're worried. Liam Anderson engineering shit. But they're worried that, like, the rough ride might. fuck with the bombs. So they go and get mattresses from the local boys camp.

What? Yes. I am dead serious. This is in the documentary. This is how I moved my big printer. This is in the book. They go get mattresses to put on the tractor trailer

and on the bulldozer to help push onto the trailer. Now, the guys from Sandia earlier fly out to this and show up and see this mess and they're like, is it, are the bombs safe? And they're like, what? Are the bombs safe, you idiots?

Are they damaged? The internals, okay. Well, no, we just want to get them out of here. We'll look at them at the airport. What? I do really appreciate that this truck trailer has a side of it that says explosive. Yes. Possibly the greatest understatement in the history of America.

So, so they trailer this thing up from, if you look at Google Maps, like south of Gransville is just space. And this is pretty highway. So they're trailing this thing through the mountains. And they take it to the Cumberland Airport, which if you've ever been to Western Maryland, one of the like three restaurants that's actually good, is the hummingbird at the Cumberland Airport.

And I've been there a lot. And I can tell you one thing. I have no fucking clue how they landed a military plane there and took off with these heavy ass bombs. Very carefully. out of that fucking airport on top of a mountain. Jados. Jados.

Jados. Jados. Just some many days. Forward and backward. C-47, just like, yeah.

A great one is where you get to use the plate again. Don't worry about that, boys. It had to have Jados for the landing and the cargo bay was entirely Jados for the takeoff as well. Whatever happens. you what's happening to you. Don't worry about it. Roz Airlines does not turn

a profit, but it does get you to some crazy fucking destinations. Very fast takeoff. That's some, we're going to get some hostages. Ross is putting down at 747 on fucking Catalina Island. Yes. Yeah, you know, you're like one of those airports

with the sloping runway in the Alps. Except it's the Appalachians because I serve the people. Okay, next slide, please. So the Air Force knew about this problem and was fixing it on the G&H model, and it was already like being put on new planes.

So they started like adding kits to the old tails that like reinforced the tail. And that was it. They just reinforced the bolts and shit. Oh, okay. And then told the pilots like, if it rips off, here's how you fly it. That's it. I'm dead serious

They did this all the way through fucking Vietnam It's great So the pilot Co-pilot survive The radar navigator Dyes in the crash Couldn't eject

The navigator gets stuck in a tree Drops 30 feet Walks 3 miles dies of exposure Jesus Oh God in Maryland In Maryland Oh God I don't like that The gunner has it the worst

feels he he has a broken leg he walks up a river embankment with the leg and dies 800 yards from a Salisbury streetlight oh that is undignified yeah yeah the there's a good movie called Buzz 1 4 on Amazon about this and there's still a website about this so you can go see and see everything exposure seems shitty yeah I'm not gonna lie well so yes that's why I forgot is they didn't have their winter gear because they were just flying a transport flight. Oh, no. They didn't have like their cold weather park as and gone. Eastport said the bitches.

That sucks. You should not die of exposure east of the Mississippi, except in like West Virginia. I'm sorry. Yeah. Or Maine. West Virginia and Maryland are next to each other. You have been through these mountains, man. I took you.

Yes. You are asleep at the back of the car, but you were there. Maybe parts of Eastern Tennessee as well. I remember just thinking like if this son of a bitch, and I remember I was driving a rented Ford Fusion hybrid. And fucking Ross falls asleep and I slam the brakes. And I'm just like absolutely fucking not. If we die, we die together.

Continue. All right. So that's what happens with them. You can go see these side. you can, there's a good memorial in Grantsville. Very interesting. There's a lot I left out for time. So do your own research.

You want to see more. Do your own research broken arrows, inventing a completely new conspiracy theory brain. For the late 2020s collapse. This place called Politically incorrect on 4chan. Go look it up. Next slide. So

now we get to talk about aerial refueling. which pretty simple. KC-135 or KC-97 has a big boom because the Air Force for some reason likes the boom instead of like a basket with a hose. So they have a boom, it extends down to a hole on top of the plane, plane flies up, connects to the boom,

locks on, and transfers hundreds of thousands of gallons of fuel a minute. Yes. We're talking like the B-52 has like 300,000. gallons capacity and in a refueling they'll get like a hundred ten hundred twenty five thousand pounds sorry this is in pounds not gallons um it's like insane numbers and remember they did this with 12 planes 24 seven 365 from 61 to 8 68 god do you imagine if we applied this kind of like energy to building housing no shut up back into the context

That might you, go, Vicky. Everybody, everybody complains, like all the carbon dioxide in the air. It's like, dude, yeah, bad, bad thing. One of these was doing, like, what my car does forever. The food must have been terrible after, like, day three. Yeah. Do you guys also have just avgas in your cold potatoes? So, so this is important because a couple of incidents happened with aerial refueling.

but before we get their next slide, please. Finally. The Air Force was really fucking horny about aerial. Our goal is your hole. Absolutely. I will say. I mean, I know like the Navy is kind of like the gay branch, quote unquote. I don't think that's true.

I think it's the Air Force. Look, and I want to be very clear on this. Any holes a goal except for aerial refueling. Do I say any holes a goal or any goals a hole? That is... What did I say? That is absolutely some like proto-furry art of the planes sucking another planes. They want to fuck this plane.

They're trying to fuck the plane. Yeah. Well, of course they're trying to fuck the plane. But this is like some pilots want to fuck the plane heterosexual. This is homosexual. This is this is, yeah, this is this is plain bottom. This is the kind of shit that started all of that. I fucking love it.

I found that on my, like, literally research, because of, like, the French call it for Todd. That's crazy. I have no other words. This is magnificent. I isn't waiting two and a half hours to get these jokes off. You know how they have male gays, lesbians. This is male gays. Gays.

Yeah, this is just, have you guys heard of my queer philosophy club, gaze into the abyss? Jesus great. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Thank you, Roz. That was, that was, that was, yeah, fuck you, actually. You all got out of your system yet?

No. No. Our goal is your whole. Come on, like, we got it. We got to start selling bootleg shirts and just say, well, there's your balls. Can you imagine how much less fucked up America would be if, like, people were trying to fuck the place? We had not made homosexuality a career ender for the first, like, 50 years,

We'd have a much stronger navy. Yeah, oh yeah, absolutely. Our Navy would be unfucking blue. We're already blue water. You can't even imagine the nuclear capacity we would have. I'm not true to say we're already blue water. You can't imagine what we'd be blowing. The sky's the limit because we have submarine launch ballistic missiles, but that's...

Oh, that's a whole other nightmare. We'll say that for another episode. Do they have gay patches for that too? I'm sure they do. I didn't find any on the way, but I'm sure there are. Show me your blowhole. So I know a decent number of transmen who are in the military at this point, just because that's pretty common career path.

You repress, you go join the military, and then you're like, wow, this sucks. Yeah. Yeah. But like, it's amazing to me that troops are considered heterosexual at all from what I have heard. Yeah, yeah. Next line, please. There is a question before we go. Yeah, bud.

Well, they have, you know, our goal is your hole. Sure is right. And they have sexy, attractive women who are presumably going to peg you. Yes. Yeah, what do you care? Yeah. Do you not see the hose that they're going on raw? Oh, my God.

The Air Force is made up of chasers. Yeah, it does so. The rectum will expand. That's why they have to do all the evangelicals. because they're, they're ashamed of it. But let me break this down for it. Here they are out in the open. Imagine,

imagine a big, thick Italian hoagie, right? Yes. Yes, I'm imagining that right now. It's delicious. In your butt. That's, that's, I... See, here's the thing. If I imagine it with a trans woman behind it,

then I don't want to eat a butt hoagie. Well, no, you're not eating. That's where you and I differ, buddy. You're boothing a hoagie. Can you imagine? With the hot relish too? Oh. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Can I get a salami, uh, ham, uh, capacola and progesterone. Yeah.

I call this one the ring burner. All right. Wow. This is the most two hours and 30 minutes into a podcast I've ever been in my life. I do. I do like that, uh, that's it.

brag or you know be metter or whatever the hell that this podcast is like we're never serious except for very specific times like um uh bo paul stuff like that and it's just like oh here's here's someone who like has like deep in like in depth knowledge of nuclear weapons

and we're going to derail that by talking about boofing hoagies and you're going to sit there and listen to it you ungrateful hogs eat your slop that's why I brought this here is it's funny as hell that's why I'm like all this is funny as hell no matter how horribly the people around it died, unfortunately. It's, there's so many jokes.

Anyway, a nuclear weapons program is an inherently funny thing. What if we made a portable saw and dropped it out of an aircraft? That would be pretty good, right? All right, see you in the morning. There are two people on Blue Sky, and if you know these people, you'll know who I'm talking about. They're going to be screaming that we made fun of this

and didn't take it seriously. I'm so ready for their comments. I'm pretty sure that, like, that's kind of the point of the podcast, though, isn't it? Yeah, but because it's nuclear weapons. I'm not going to lie. I mean, if you notice, a lot of the episodes that I've tried to write in my career,

well, there's your problem, is, you know, I try to pick ones that are at least either we can pick somebody to be really mad at or in here of very low fatality. But I do kind of feel like the vibe of the show is, hey, a bunch of people died. We're going to try to laugh about it

Because living is horror. Yes. Yeah. Speaking of horror, we're on to the bad one, the worst one. Oh, but okay, great. The scary one. So we're onto the B-52 that had wet wings. Now, wet wings.

Oh, does that say bag fuel cells between ribs? Yes. Okay. All right. So that's when they were putting rubberized filling of the wings to get as much fucking fuel as you could physically get in this. playing. So like... So if this thing goes down, it's lighting up like a zippo is what I'm wearing.

Well, wing fuel is like totally normal, but like this isn't putting it in steel tanks. This is like literally putting it anywhere you can fucking fit it. Okay, that sounds terrific. That's the best way I can put it. Like, again, yell at me airplane people. A bunch of grocery bags full of gasoline and the lens, you know. Yeah, so it's the equivalent. The always sunny episode where they fill up the back of the land.

Yes, that's what I was going to have. Yes. Wild card. Strategic Air Command's version of that. So in 1961, right before Chrome Dome started, they were doing qualifying flights for crews to get qualified to do the long trips out, long trips back, right? Including aerial refueling. Excuse me.

So we have an B-52 that takes off midnight of January, 1961, on the 23rd leading into the 24th, right? And it leaves Seymour Johnson Air Force Base, takes off and goes north to Wellington, North Carolina, which is where it's going to meet up with a tanker that's orbiting, waiting for them, and refuel for the first time, and then it's going to start its track over the ocean, right? While they're refueling in the middle of the night, the boom operator from the KC-135 looks down and sees the right wing is like spewing fuel out the side.

Oh. right around the engine pylon. Between the engine pile on the end of the wing, it's just like all over and spreading. So they, tanker tells them, like, you guys need a abort and go.

And on the gauge, it was like 37,000 gallons in three minutes they lost. Oh, dear. To just like, you know, like taking your V8 car and stepping on the gas and just watching the fuel gauge go like, well,

I'll have a GTI a few times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So they, obviously, the crew is like, huh, where's all this fuel going? Let's check, let's inspect the plane. So they send the, they send the navigator-bombadier back down into the hold

and where the bombs are. And not only is where, okay, sorry, let me back up again, do I have myself. To get there, you open a hatch and you go into the wheel well of the plane. So if the wheel well is open, you fall out the plane. But you can't do that. It has to be closed. then you climb over the landing gear and climb into the bomb bay to get to the bomb bay when he climbs

into the bomb bay it's full of fuel when he climbs into the wheel well it's full of fuel so he climbs back into the cockpan goes hey guys we're there's a lot of fuel back there we need to like kill every like shut all the electronics off on this plane right so they do they start turn everything off they start flying back to seymour johnson after being told to orbit and lose as much fuel as they can before they land. So if it's a crash, it's not horrible. Well, it gets so bad that the base commander's like, fuck it, just get back here before you go down. Right. They're, they're just over Farrow, North Carolina, and all of a sudden, the plane starts going in a horizontal spin. Next slide, please. Oh, oh, geez. So it's, it's in a horizontal spin, you know, it kind of going ass over

T-kettle sideways, you know? So the forces are in play now as it spins. The pilot ejects, the co-pilot ejects, the evaluator goes, or sorry, I mean, I'm starting to get way too ahead of myself, I apologize. That's all good? Pilot goes up out the top. Co-pilot goes out up the top with ejection seats, right, by the diagram. The evaluator seat is in the middle of those two, and that's where Lieutenant Adam Mattox is. He becomes important later. He's the third pilot for these Chrome Dome missions.

You had to have three, so one could take a break as they went. He doesn't have an ejection seat. So just what? Climes out and says, Exactly. That is exactly what they're expected to do. All right, man. Go to God, let's do this.

As the plane spinning, he goes for the hatch and gets thrown out it by the forces. Oh. The... Fucking no thanks. The electronic warfare officers behind them and facing backwards,

they go out out of the top and both of them go out the top and then the gunner goes out the top because they're back facing backwards right going down you have the radar navigator and the navigator navigator navigator bombardier they're in the two front seats and then in the back you have a rider so if you're like just the guy getting shuttled somewhere you're in the back sitting on a jump seat that's above the hatch or you climb into I adore the idea they have a jump seat a nuclear bomb equipped to be 52 well it's over the hatch to get out of the plane. Give the same a real seat.

The idea of being like, oh my God, I'm waiting standby at the fucking Air Force base. It's like you get up on this aboard this nuclear bomb equipped B-52 is insane. No one's going to stop us. So I'm getting priority

landing. So the navigator and bombardier eject their ejection seats go down. So if they're like on a runway and they have to eject, they're fucked. They get shot into the ground. But in the air, they go down, and then this poor bastard has to climb his way forward and crawl out and go out under the plane. It's great, isn't it?

So the gutter never ejects. And it's the suspicion per the one book I read was he had been in other accidents and he probably had PTSD kick in. Yeah. Unfortunately. And then the radar navigator that goes down broke his neck as he came out of the plane. So he was found in a tree, parachute into the tree. The guy in the jump seat never made it out of the plane. He was found in the wreckage.

Maddox, the guy that made it that crawled out the top, thinks because of the way the plane was spinning, this guy got sucked back in and pushed up against the ceiling of the plane. Horrible scene, horrible. But that's all important for the next part. Next slide, please. So it's January 24th, 1235 a.m. The plane spreads out around Farrow, North Carolina.

Just like, Kises, shatter everywhere. The body comes down and cartwheels when it hits the ground because of the week. Because it had been spinning the whole way down, right? Yes. The guys that make it out land and land in farm fields and all around this thing. And because they're near base, but had no radio because they shut everything off, the base doesn't know they crashed. So now I have to find a phone or get back to base to tell them that there's been an accident.

So, hey, yeah, I, you know, you saw me in the plane. No. It's worse. Yeah, it's, uh, yeah, we crashed the plane. I'm sorry. You all promise you won't get mad at me. It's worse. It's in pieces.

Good news, I am not. It's so much worse than that. Jesus, what? Maddox and Lieutenant Raird, or not looking at it, I'm sorry, Captain Rairn. I'll be right back. oh, you're going to miss the best part. So they get out, they get found, right? They get rides back to the base to the front gate.

Once they get to the front gate, nobody has told the base that something happened, right? Oh, no, because they couldn't. Because they couldn't. So they get to the gate, get dropped off. Maddox is black. Oh, dear. Maddox is an African American. We're in segregation, North Carolina.

We're in segregation, North Carolina. in 1961. He walks up in an Air Force uniform carrying his parachute and his helmet. And instead of, Hey, man, are you okay? What the hell happened?

He gets arrested by base police. Why? For stealing a parachute. What? God. Meanwhile, he's like, our plane went out.

We're a nuclear bomber. What? You're not see? I'm like covered in shit from this. I literally, Victoria, to catch you up. Do you see the burning wreckage behind me, dickhead? Maddox is an African-American man

who gets a ride back to base and gets arrested by base police. Yeah, that's right. For stealing his parachute. Yeah. You can only imagine what, the precise phrasing that the MPs used. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. So Rairdon shows up in the same way. He gets a ride back. Evil? Day ain't so. Rairden gets a ride back. He shows up.

Look, ACAB includes MPs. So Rarden gets a ride back. He shows up and they start doing the same shit to him. He is not African American. He is white. They still. don't fucking believe either of them. And they're both screaming out.

I'm like, you saying you fell out of a flying machine? So like, they're like runs through. Is that what your big napkin is from? They're like running through everything. Like, dude, dude, I swear to God, call the tower.

And they don't, again, they're like, we're not calling the tower. You guys, like, no, call the tower.

And they gives them the go code that would have been their code to fly and go bomb Russia, like, tell the Tower this. They will believe you. He does. They get let him almost instantly. Tower has that moment of like, uh, what happened? And the worst part, from everything I've read, they could actually see, because it's night, like light from the fire in Farrow, because it was so big. So that happens, right? Meanwhile, all the volunteer fire departments in like the whole area of Goldsboro, Farrow, et cetera, all start coming out because big plane. They're, they start going

through the wreckage because they're afraid somebody's in it. There was, but they obviously didn't make it. One volunteer fire department sees a parachute in a tree and runs up to it, looks around, doesn't see anybody, and leaves. That parachute wasn't attached to a person. Next slide, please. Jesus Christ, Almighty. So this is the Mark 39, Mod 2 nuclear. Bob. It is a contact detonation bomb. Same thing where it's the yellow nose plate. That crushes and it goes off. It cannot go off any other way. As a yield of 3.8 megatons, which, you know, big boom, very, very, very big boom. If this went off in Goldsboro, fallout would be all the way to D.C. and Philadelphia with prevailing ways. On the nose,

painted on the nose, it says, reject if denned or deformed because of the context. attack views. Because if you are, the parachute opens, it would just go off. Attach orbiter here. No, black side down. So

next slide. Do not do this. All right. So this is the procedures this thing has to do to go off. When you want to drop it. This is before like permission of action links.

and any kind of like sync code from bases. This is literally just the aircraft commander and the bombardier throw a couple of switches. You flip the T380 Rayness switch, which is what the captain does. That tells the bombardier he can turn on his switch, which is the T-249. That's the one in the left-hand bottom corner, right?

Turn the power on, you turn it to air for ground. Bombs ready, right? Could you imagine the intrusive thought? you would have as that guy constantly. Well, and so you have to do that to electrically arm the bomb. Then there's rods in the bomb that you have to pull a lanyard from the cockpit and it pulls arming rods out. So that's your safe inside the bomb bay.

With those in, it won't even think about turning power on or anything else. That's on a lanyard. I remind you, after that, when it falls, when it's released from the bomb, Bomb Bay, the parachute has to be deployed. So you have a drogue parachute and then a big 100 foot, big parachute. That pulls out the back and that starts arming everything else in the bomb. So it has a barometric switch that confirms that it's out of the plane and dropping. It has a timer that makes sure that you have enough time to get the fuck away,

which is why there's a parachute there, so it gives the time for the plane to get away. And then it's got a thermal battery that turns on and starts charging the X unit, which I said earlier was the flashbowl. And then when that nose is crushed, off it goes. Right? Right. I did want to note just for a second here. I appreciate that the font on this unit here is it's all Futura.

I bet you like that, you fucking dirt. Yeah. I like a nice geometric. It's the same one we put on the moon. God, I love the military. Yeah. So in the upper left corner is the MC772 arm safe switch. This is actually what's in the bomb and it's a rotating, what's it called?

It's a dynamo. So it turns safe arm, right? And shows you the little flag in the window. Oh, good. If it turns and the red's facing the window, that bomb is ready to go and just needs the falling procedure to happen, right? This means the bomb is Scandinavian air service That's not a good joke

Don't acknowledge that one excuse me I just saw that and I immediately That went through my brain and I had to say it Yeah no but it's yeah okay Next slide Three hours in all jokes are funny Yeah it doesn't matter anymore man We're so close

No we're not you fucking want What are not talking about You wrote the slide deck I know where we are all right Hello, Bert. Next slide. So bomb two falls out of the plane as it's spinning. It gets like yeated out, like shot out the side.

The parachute doesn't deploy. It just takes off and hits the ground as hard as it can, right? Right. Drills a crater 25 feet down. When the bomb squad came out, they were flown out from Wright- Patterson Air Force Base, Dayton, Ohio, where I used to watch. Jack Ravel is like the main technician. He's 25 years old.

And he arrives on scene. They realize like it's buried, buried. So they have to start calling in construction crews to help dig it out. They have to dig like a hundred foot wide crater and then kept going down. They go down 25 feet and they find the parachute pack and the primary. That's the part that initiates the thermon. nuclear explosion. With it is the arm safe switch. And to quote the man himself, they pull the switch

out and his sergeant that's digging says, Lieutenant, we found the arm safe switch. He goes, great. And the sergeant goes, not great. It's on arm. Oh. Should have just covered it back up and abandoned the area, you know. Just kicks him dirt on it like that, nah, da, da, da, da, no longer our problem. You got to remember, with the parachute not out and the, the parachute not out, nothing else happened. So in theory, it should be okay. What actually happened was because of all the forces, it spun that little dial and didn't actually activate the bomb. And there's no electrical signal. So it just looked like it was on arm. Oh, well, that case, we can't laugh about it. Yeah. It just looked like it was harmed. It's not. He said it's funny in the aftermath. Epic,

prank. Just a prank, God's sexual YouTube face. So they found the primary, right? They haul it out. Next slide, please.

But they can't get the secondary because it drilled itself down 180 feet estimate. The water table's really high here, so they keep trying to dig for it. And it just fills with water. They try and pump it out, turns to mud.

It's bad, right? So what does the Air Force do? Barry it. Cover it all back up. We'll just get a lease on the land. And they did. For 99 years at a time, this 250-foot piece of property is the Air Force's problem and not yours. At 30-45 Big Daddy's Road. I love the South.

Yeah, that's... Those sheer wine ass, North Carolina, barbecue's motherfuckers. You know, that's up there with Big Daddy's Liquor Barn. White's a Black story. It was a great story. That was a good story. I'm just trying to piss off my wife

at this point. I make fun of her for shit. I don't like this all the time. So the Air Force leases the property, but like there's still a big uranium piece of metal drilled down into the ground in probably the water

table. And they say they check on it, but nobody ever sees them out there drilling. Yeah, they fucking don't, bud. So that's bomb two. Well, the U.S. in all of its kind of like eagletarian beliefs, it doesn't care about the U.S. South, just like it doesn't care about the global south. So, you know, fuck it. That's fine.

Well, it's not like it could be a nuclear explosion. It'd just be a nuclear accident. It'll be fine. I mean, like, come on. I grew up drinking Teflon in my water supply and look at it. how normal and well-adjusted I am. I am the picture of health. Look, you're not going to me.

She says wiping her nose. It's got flurrying in it. If it was actually fucking with your system, you would notice. Because we have 55-degree weather in Seattle, it is shedding season. I am, everything is coated in it currently,

including my nose. Okay, next slide. Bomb one. This is the bad one. So that parachute those guys found was attached. to bomb one. And if you remember the diagram, the parachute pulls

and the rods pull out, the only thing stopping this thing from going off is the arm safe switch, right? And I included the table from Wikipedia just to like drive it home. The arming wires were pulled. The pulse generator activated. The explosive actuator fired.

That's what kicks the parachute out. The timer started and ran down all 42 seconds. The differential presser switch, the barometric switch fired. The low voltage thermal battery activated. The high voltage thermal battery activated. The rotary safing switch did not get operated. The ex-unit did not charge, but the nose crystals crushed. So the only thing that kept this bomb from going off was a 28-volt signal.

That's it. Block. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. in a crashing plane that's falling apart, 28 volts. It could have been from anywhere. If those liars got crossed, 28 volts, and this bastard would have second touched the ground. God damn.

Mm-hmm. So you want to know it? I love nuclear weapons. I wouldn't. So, yeah, everybody freaks out about the one in the ground, and then the, and then the EOD saw this, and they're like, wait a minute. when they opened it up.

We got really close then, yes, we did, sir. But you know what's even scarier? I don't like that. Next slide, please. One year after this happened, they pulled... We failed to learn our lesson.

Oh, we sure did, Budrow. They pull these Mark 28 bombs out of the bomb bay of a B-52. They're very similar in design. They're actually a little worse, but that's not the point. They use the same arm safe switch and circuits because it's B-52, right?

Pull them out, go to put them in storage, and when the techs look at them, and they're all armed, they're all ready to go. Yeah, why'd you put them on a plane otherwise? Like, if you drop them off the plane, it'll go off. Don't do that.

Well, don't do that, yeah. What did happen? It's like the fucking, what is it, the, the Fremen with the, knife, you know, you got to draw blood before you put it back in the sheet. Well, what had happened was a nut fell out of the plane, fell down onto the conduit, and shorted the two wires from that safeing swing and armed all four bombs. Had that have happened in the previous plane, Goldsboro, North Carolina would be gone.

Washington, D.C. would be having a lot of problems right now to this day. Not the kind we're dealing with. The radioactics. I was going to say, would it have destroyed the east wing of the White House? Yeah. Oh, my God. So Goldsboro's in the past, right? In 1960.

Presumably, it's in the south. So, I mean, that's the same assumption. So in 1966, these Mark 28 warheads become the focus of an accident in how more, Palo Morse, Spain. I can't say it right. I was, anyway, that is another time. It is the worst we've ever done to another country, nuclear-wise, except for, next slide, please, Greenland. Canada. Greenland.

Oh, yeah. I mean, I still feel like there was one other time that we did something worse to another country in a nuclear fashion, but, you know. Shut up. Okay. Good point. Spreading one. this is spreading material. This is the first time it was, this is the first time it was accident.

Accident. That's the way to put it. Yes. Three hours in, I'm doing my best here. You're doing fine, Scooter. So this is another, not today, but we accidentally may have bombed Greenland. Oh, well, no. I figure, I figure this is a good, a good for the Greenland episode that's going to have to happen one day because of current events. But, yeah, I got to, I got to see Deacon Corpies available. That would be so good.

That would rule. But the point is, is we had a Chrome Dome mission that would go up to Greenland and fly around Tully Air Base in Greenland. And that was to make sure that Tully Air Base, which is where our early warning system was for missiles, wasn't evaporated. And the bomber could call back and say, hey, it's fine. if like the power went out or, you know, some phone lines went down or something. So we knew we weren't starting nuclear war yet. The problem with that is, is what happens if the bomber crashes into the airbags? I guess we're host.

Yeah, that is a problem. You got me there. Hadn't thought about that one. We got really close to that, like really close with those same bombs from the last slide. But again, that's for a future episode. that could be its own thing. It goes to show the resilience of the Greenlandic people that we could crash a bomber

full of nuclear weapons into their island. And they still kind of want to be friends of this. They were really fucking pissed. You know, that's fair, actually. We weren't supposed to be flying planes over them at all. So, oops, loaded nuclear planes. But yes.

Next slide. I like how that plane departed from Minot. I don't know how it's pronounced again. The place I have been through there because I think it's the Amtrak Empire Builder goes through there. And it's like the town where nothing happens. It's like where you get sent if you're in like Air Force hell. Yes. Yeah, mine's a place.

So there's one more broken arrow after Tully. Tully kills Operation Chrome Dome. There is no more airborne alert after that. And even though we have a nuclear weapon buildup, it's mainly focused on missiles and not on bombers, except we came up with the cruise missile. The cruise missile was a standoff weapon, so the B-52, which there's no chance in hell it could get past radar and Sam missile, surface-air missiles. This is a stand-off weapon so they can shoot the bomb into them, low altitude, eliminate them,

and then keep flying into country, and then start shooting stand-off weapons at the their target. We came up with... Yeah, we converted Russia to capitalism and then we decided, well, we still have to, like, be able to bomb them, though, you know? Yeah, just in case. We're too comfy with that Burger King. Most of these weapons systems, like the...

What if the Pizza Hut falls? Oh, shit. Like, the latest weapon systems until Sentinel comes out, it was like, everything was, like, built in the 80s and it has just been modded since. There's not really been a lot.

lot that's like original since then, which is not great. Including this. You're going to watch out if Yeltsin sober's up, you know. So it's not a broken arrow, but it's pretty damn close. In 2007 in August, a B-52 was loaded with what was supposed to be training warheads, left out on the runway, and then flew over the United States to Barksdale Air Force Base. It had 12 AGM-129 cruise missiles, which are like stealth cruise missiles, six of which were loaded on a pile-on,

but instead having training warheads in them had W-80 dial-of-yield nuclear warheads. The problem was the warheads, the warheads built for training were stored in the same bunker as the warheads that were locked. This is the most Bush era problem that you could possibly create. This feels like a Colbert report bit. This got out by like your chance.

There could be hundreds of these incidents that just never got out. But this is the one that like completely wrecked the Air Force and created the Air Force Global Strike Command. You got to watch out. There could have been like a bunch of Albertan separatists, you know, ready to receive those missiles when they get. Any idiot could have just gone out there. and fucked with them. Like, it was just at the end of the runway. Like, they didn't have any guard,

so, like, a fucking truck could have, like, accidentally driven into the plane and caused a radiological incident. Anything. Jesus. But, like... This is a reminder to all of our listeners. If you see a B-52 sitting at the end of the runway on attended, you should go check it out.

Take it. Yeah, they don't tell you. They don't tell you that the B-52s at the Air Force base are free. You could take the bomb. If they're saying on the Christmas tree, you can just fly one out of there. Cartridge start that bitch and go. That's public property.

That means it belongs to you. It's pretty much what they do. They have cartridges, explosive cartridges that spin the engines up instantly. It's great. Yes, the aviation equivalent of hitting the starter with a hammer. Yes. So,

yeah, we could probably steal a B-52, yeah. It can still happen. Like, this isn't gone away because the Cold War's gone away. It did in 2006. it's probably since. But possible. You never know. Until we can make all nuclear weapons disappear

or at least calm the fuck down with them any day. But... I have a new live show idea, actually, if you're receptive to it. Live show from a B-52 armed with nuclear missiles. Yeah. Yeah, actually, that'd be a lot of fun. Hey, are you in the Air Force? Leaked to us.

So... You think Clearview would let us do that on the sign? No fuckers So there's one more incident That we haven't talked about Next slide please This is this is the craziest one

And it deserves its own episode That's why we're not talking about it It's the last broken arrow Officially reported It was the only one That had an incident with a missile That's in any of the reports Like there's little ones with missiles

But it's not a broken arrow It's been spears is the only time we fucked one so hard that we lost the warhead. Happened to Damascus, Arkansas, and we'll have to talk about it another episode. And I... Folks, I only mention... Don't drop the socket. Yeah, don't drop the socket.

I only mention it, because I know everyone would lose their minds if we didn't. We'll save it for another day. There we go. Broken arrows, a little teaser. What did we learn about nuclear weapons? Oh, my God. I learned that this podcast is very difficult to do without November on it. Yeah.

Thanks. Fuck ass. I. Am I the fuck ass? Are you the fuck ass? I don't know. I don't know. This is one that she's going to hopefully be upset.

She missed because, you know, Air Force. I don't want her to be upset. I wanted to be upset. Not like upset, upset. Just like. Kind of upset. Yeah, I got you. Yeah.

You know, I mean. I learned that nuclear. weapons are a good idea, which is beneficial to society. And God bless America. You know, I love my country. You see by the Dodds early light. What so proudly we have from the twilight's last. Who's broad stripes?

Sam, Bradstor. All right. Yeah. Safety third. Bombs bursting in air. That's right. It's an air burst. All right.

Yeah. I mean, since November's gone, we can confidently say God bless America. No, that's why you have me here. That's how I keep you from getting away with it. I mean, one staunchly anti-American train. fans of it on this podcast at all times. To turn the keys to begin the podcast.

I get it. We have a segment on this podcast called Save you 3rd. Uh, shi, shank hands of danger. Dear Justin, November, yay Liam,

Victoria, and maybe guest. Yes. Maybe not. Maybe not. As a shop teacher who paid his... No, Devin mentioned. though. As a shop teacher who paid his dues in industry starting at 15, working in a machine

shop pool of Vietnam vets and Gen Xers, I have more safety third stories than I can count on my 10 fingers. At least they're all there, buddy. I was about to say surprise, you still got all 10. This one, however, focuses on my time in college, specifically one near where Liam grew up. Oh, no. In training to become. a shop teacher, it is essential to become a jack of all trades and very much a master of none during your college years. The coursework is so varied that it's difficult to get in depth on a lot of the equipment and processes you learn. You are flying by the seat of your pants a lot of the time. One morning might be pouring molten bronze while hoping you don't cause

a molten metal explosion somehow, with an afternoon figuring out how to incorporate an ultrasonic sensor into a product designed to assist someone with a disability and inhaling soldering films because dorms aren't very well ventilated. All right. Go, buddy. This particular incident focuses on one of the 100-level courses I took my freshman year. The course was designed to get you comfortable in the woods and ceramic slum. labs. That's a fun, the wood lab. That's very funny. It's not a wood shop, the wood lab.

It consisted of many small projects. So the time in the lab training on all of the multi-step processes was very rushed and students had to rely on each other to understand what the hell was going on. Prepping them for real life. Yes. My background was in metalwork. So I was out of my element. but a few of us 19-year-olds can figure this shit out, right? Oh, boy. One cold February evening, I was in the ceramics lab, having gotten a 10-minute tutorial on how to make an RTV or room-temperature vulcanizing rubber mold of a part of our choosing

and then to create a ceramic mold investment cast at a later date. I'm not sure what that means. Someone who knows about this probably does. I unmolded the ring. headcast into the RTV. That's the room temperature vulcanizing rubber mold by carefully splitting it with the razor knife, then replace the RTV mold into its PVC pipe housing. It's a PVC pipe. That's like a plumbing pipe, right? The next steps, yeah, the next steps seem so simple. Fill the mold with jewelers wax using a wax injector. See figure one. This is a scary device. It looks like

something out at Doctor Who. It looks like a Doctor Who prop for like a much scarier device than what it is, but it's scary to begin with. Where was I? By using a wax injector, C-figure 1, by placing the open end of the RTV against the brass nozzle and giving the injector a few seconds to fill the mold. This is usually a very low temperature and low pressure operation. The professor did not spend any more than five seconds discussing this machine. and therefore had not told us any of the recommended injection pressures nor did it seem like that was a concern.

Monkey see monkey do on this one. I walked up to the machine with all the confidence a college freshman shouldn't have. Yep. And pressed my mold. Up against the brass nozzle and bam, my whole world was hot and pink. I rushed to the bathroom to cool off my face

and figure out what the fuck just, happen. Upon removing my now 100% wax-coated safety glasses I saw in the mirror, I had been blasted by pink jewelers wax from my chest up. I looked like an extra in Ghostbusters, too. I was just thinking that. Somebody said it to force them. My face was almost fully covered. Some of it was in my mouth, and a lot was stuck in my hair. my statement. Upon return to the lab with just a few minor red marks and a lot of wax in my hair and clothes, I walked over to the machine where I saw the professor hastily adjusting the air regulator

down, way down from where it was. Someone had jacked the air pressure so high that it had blown my entire RTV mold out of the PVC pipe housing, and the split in the mold directed the hot wax up at my face. Oh my God. From that point on, I didn't trust anyone to set a machine other than myself. Lesson here. Demand proper training and when in doubt, read the goddamn manual, kids. I'm told my pink wax coated safety classes are still on display as a safety lesson.

Hell yeah, being mentioned in the briefing. There you go, buddy. That's good that you're in the safety manual and you lived. Thanks for all the laughs helping me to keep me level-headed through during these times. Reminders to keep my students safe through good practice. Hopefully things will thaw soon. I saw a puddle today. It was amazing. Anyway, sincerely, a proud union teacher. All right. Yeah. So check the pressure on, I'm still confused at what the thing does. Don't spray hot wax in your face, folks. that was safety third.

But I brawra-brow. Always check your machinery to make sure it's not set to force them. I had the exact thing. Unless you like that sort of thing. It was fun. I had the exact same thing happened to me with septic trucks. I totally get this guy's flight. That's force.

No, that's just spraying a lot of poop in your face. Yeah. Yeah. That's not even like, I mean, I don't know. Probably for some like Germans or something that's a same. thing. Otherwise, it's just unpleasant. We were talking about pee fetish earlier. This is like a septic tank fetish. That's, I don't know. I don't like that at all. No, it was awful. But yeah, I'm glad he survived. Our next episode will be on Chernobyl. Does anyone

have any commercials before we go? Yeah. If you like cars, you should listen to Tran-Gurliismo, which is my podcast, my friend Jordan, and we're doing the, boy, we sure like cars. Too bad about the society we built around them and also the collapsing empire that makes it we can't afford them. Yes, it's a good podcast. You should go listen to it. Oh, yeah. Well, I've only listened to episode too, which we'll be launching like later tonight after I upload it is November. Hell yeah. You miss November here, as you should have. Yes. You can go get more of her on Tran, Grilismo. We talked about Jeffrey Epstein's Toyota Century or lack thereof. Or lack thereof, yeah. Perfectly. I just have the, uh,

the fundraiser for Heather Polly, if you don't mind putting it in it. Oh, yeah, I was going to ask about that. Yeah, that's probably a good thing. She was an M-Track conductor who got pretty fucked up on the job and just having difficulty paying medical bills. Got fucked up on the job by a passenger who attacked her, trying to fight her off, and she didn't have an assistant conductor. So she was on her own and that really put her down.

So she's trying to get her, trying to deal with only having disability and get around all the physical therapy and trying to get back on the job. So I appreciate everybody who's donated and can or at least share it. She's a good friend. Yes. Donate to that. That link is in the description. Thank you. Yes. All right.

Well, I guess, yeah, that was a podcast. How do I? I don't know. I don't know how to end this. Bye everybody. There's no November here. It's very confused. Bye everybody.

Nova, we missed you. We miss you. We miss you, Nova.