Well with Arielle Lorre - 10: JERA FOSTER-FELL - From BBG to Balance

Episode Date: June 19, 2019

In this episode Arielle talks to Jera Foster-Fell about her journey from BBG, to Soul Cycle instructor, to finding balance after it all.  They discuss body confidence, evolving fitness approaches, what it’s liking being an “influencer,” dealing with social anxiety and walking through fear. Jera is a positive, light spirit and has a refreshing outlook on life that is sure to help many! Find Out More: www.jerabean.com/ Follow Jera on Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/jera.bean/ For Arielle's cookbook:https://theblondefiles.com/the-blonde-files-cookbook/ Follow Arielle here on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ariellelorre/ And catch up with Arielle here on YouTubeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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without sorrows under-sorg. Go to your riceadviseur on Sunnycars. combe. You're listening to The Blonde Files podcast. That's right. If you came here looking for over the influence, it is no more. I kind of just

decided that I didn't want it to get too confusing with my Instagram being my name, Ariel Lurie, and my website and YouTube are the blonde files, and then the podcast having a different name. As most of you probably know, I started the blonde files three years ago, and I always planned on operating under that umbrella. So I just decided to go back to my digital roots and what did they say? If it ain't broke. So from now on, this is the Blonde Files podcast and I'm your host. I don't know what that was.

Like a question? This is the Blonde Files podcast. This is the Blonde Files podcast and I am your host, Ariel Lorry. Okay, guys, I am really excited about this episode today with Jera Foster Fell. I started following her on Instagram probably right around the same time that I started my account three and a half years ago. She was doing BBG at the time as well, and it's been really cool to watch her journey unfold between then and now. And she and I have been on a kind of similar trajectory, although I definitely do. did not ever become a soul cycle instructor. But other than that, we kind of started our accounts around

the same time and went from just having a fitness Instagram to being influencers, even though I still hate that word. But Jera is not your typical cookie cutter influencer. She talks about things that matter. She's real and unfiltered and raw. But she's like just a bubbly, unique personality too and there's something really like light about her and her energy real talk I've been in a major funk lately and I just came off of editing this episode and I felt so much better than I felt before I started it something about her and her perspective and her outlook is just really uplifting and I think you guys will feel that too One note, and I hate to deter you from listening to this episode, and I hate to, like, preface it this way.

But I don't know if you've noticed. I have been recording in a studio, so the quality is probably up to par now. But this one I recorded at my house. We had some technical difficulties. I don't know what the F was going on with my mic, but I tried to fix it in post-production. Hopefully it'll be okay. thank you as always for bearing with me. And without further ado, Jara Foster Fell. Okay, so welcome. Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to be here. Yeah, I'm really excited to talk to you. I think it's so cool. There's like this group of women who I followed for such a long time who like started BBG around the same time as I did. feels like centuries it goes yeah doesn't it feel like it was so long yeah it really does when did you when did you start your account so it's strange i remember the exact day it was april 4th 2015 and it was

it coincided with the exact day that i started day one week one of the bbg program and i started my account because i've been following kela for kailet'senis for about a year and just saw all these other girls with their fitness Instagram accounts. And I was like, okay, I'll just make sort of this anonymous account to hold myself accountable as I start this program. And so I just kind of did it on a whim. And it just felt like good to sort of start this new project, but I really had no intention of it becoming anything. Yeah, I can relate to that so much. I, too, remember the exact day, February 2nd, 2016. Oh, cute. I love that. I don't know why it's like ingrained in our brains, right? But, yeah, it's so cool to like see

women who started in the same way, like anonymously and for accountability, who now have these amazing platforms and are using them to help other people. Yeah. I mean, it's amazing to see some of the girls that and women that I started out with who were sort of my peers, just sort of in the BBG community and sort of seeing how everyone has evolved and shifted and use their platforms. And some people aren't on Instagram anymore. And some people have completely sort of created their current careers and passions and lives around Instagram. So it's been pretty amazing and beautiful to watch the progression of so many women who started around the same time as me just with BBG. Yeah, I totally agree. So I really want to talk about your platform.

today and where you see it going and all of that. But why don't we start kind of at the beginning? So you started BBG in 2015. What was your, so what was your lifestyle like before that? Were you, were you healthier? Were you looking to? Oh, good. I, oh, it was like, I say that just with exasperation because I was in such a weird spot. It was so, I look back now at this sort of a couple years of my life. And I don't cringe because I think, you know, we go through things and they shape and evolve us and make us who we are in current day. But I just feel sort of sad for Jera back then. And I was in this weird spot. I used to be a graphic designer. I did that for about five years after I graduated from college. And so I was in my graphic designer phase. And I sort of

struggled with it. I think less of the profession and more of the companies that I worked for. and just had a really hard time and landed up in some pretty shitty, stressful jobs. And I had a four-year relationship that had just come to an end. And I really didn't have a whole lot of friends or any friends to be exact. And it was just this weird combination of not being happy at work, being very unhappy in my personal life. And that was also, I think we'll probably talk about this later if you'd like when I realized I had social anxiety. So all these kind of twists and turns happened at once. So that was my kind of current state of mind for a couple years before I started BBG.

And I look back on the moment now when I started BBG and I think subconsciously this thought and this like presence was happening within me that I don't think I thought it exactly at the time. But looking back now, I think my body and my mind was like, yo, Jarrett, you got to start something good for yourself. You need to find something that you feel happy about. you need to do something that is for you. And I woke up one day, went to the gym. I had been following Kayla for a while, so that's why I was familiar with her program.

And I just started working out. And it was this incredible sort of turning point. I didn't know it at that exact moment, but it was an incredible turning point for me that sort of shaped and shifted the next couple years of my life. So this is probably a question that you get a lot. but when when did you start noticing changes like once you started doing BBG? Because a lot of people ask, you just want to know when my body started changing. And I'm like, yeah, I don't really know.

But like the mental changes were like immediate. Yeah. Well, I have a couple things to say about this. I like this question because one, I look back. I've been through so much since then with BBG and SoulCycle and now doing Instagram full time. Like there's so much that has changed in terms of just me and my mindset. Yeah, just looking back on that time, we, me, the other women participating in BBG, it was a very common thing to every single week take a side-by-side transformation photo. So comparing your week zero with your

week one, your week zero with your week two, week zero with your week three. And it's just looking back on that now, I just am like flabbergasted that we did that because our bodies take more than a week to change. And especially as women, we can be bloated or have our period or whatever reason. So to compare it week to week, I think it's just a recipe for disaster and a recipe for not really feeling very well emotionally and mentally. I think if our goal is to change our bodies, which, you know, there's nothing wrong with that. You know, comparing it every month or two months, that's totally fine to give yourself a little bit. a little bit more time. So it's, I look back on that now and kind of laugh and feel sad that we were so intense with trying to seek out transformation and changes in our body so quickly. Like it just seemed

a little bit unfair to ourselves. But if we are talking specifically about me and how my body change, so my body, now that I've gone through BBG and now that I've been, that I was a Soul Cycle instructor, I can see now that my body is very prone to change. Like if I work out and whatever it is running, Soul Cycle, BBG, my body does get fairly toned and muscular somewhat quickly. So when I started the BBG program, I personally saw changes actually quite quickly. But, you know, everyone's different. Everyone has different bodies and we all react differently to physical, to physicality. So not everyone. sees changes quickly so that can be very frustrating for someone else to hear if they do it for 12

weeks and don't quite get the same results yeah totally we're all different and it's funny because I think back to when I was especially when I started too and like yeah there was this emphasis kind of on like never miss a Monday I don't know if you remember that yes oh good I just did a post about that saying yeah and like like one perfect week I used to do like one perfect week I used to do like one week all the time. And like if I, it was like this rigidity and like comparing your body to last week's body. And like you were saying, like there are so many fluctuations. And to give it the benefit of the doubt, I think the intention was good. Like, you don't need to step on a scale. You can just compare yourself to yourself. And but like when I look back on it now, I mean, it's just I, I,

I feel like I was in a constant state of like anxiety. Oh, yeah. I. I was just going to say that. No, I totally agree. I think it was sort of like jumping into it really quickly and probably this hunger to want to be healthy and fit and feeling passionate about it, which I think is absolutely wonderful, but just going a little bit too far. And I think it was also being misinformed a little bit. Like when I first started BBG, I'm so embarrassed to admit that I was looking into skinny teas. And like even looking at, I never bought one, but those waste trainer things that the Kardashians had. Like I just had no idea and was very influenced by the things around me just in this hopes

and eagerness to be healthy and fit at the time, whatever that meant to me within that moment. Yeah. What was your dialogue with yourself like then, if you remember? You know, I don't think of anything really negative. I mean, I look back now and I wouldn't do it the way I did it back then just because I feel a lot more relaxed about health and fitness compared to when I first started. But I actually was just having the thought the other day admiring how disciplined I was back then. I've been struggling a little bit the last couple months with getting my workouts in and waking up early to sort of fit in as much as I want to into the day.

and I was thinking during my BBG days, yeah, I mean, I think we all struggle with that. My goodness, but I think during my BBG days, I was working full time as a graphic designer. So I was getting to the office around whatever, 9.30, normal time. I was waking up every single day at 5.30 a.m. to go and get my workout in. And I'm like, yo, how did I do that? Because if you asked me to wake up at 5.30 a.m. now, I'd be like, you're insane. like, no thank you. I need to sleep. So I don't really, I think the dialogue was intense. And I don't necessarily think I had everything right. But I do admire my persistence and my dedication and my focus when I first started. I'm like, damn, Jarrah, you were kind of killing it. Yeah. Yeah. I can relate to that. So how did you go from BBG to becoming a soul cycle instructor?

So when I was in my BBG phase, I think it was during my second round of BBG that during my list days, and for those people who aren't familiar with BBG, you do three circuit workouts each week. And then I believe three other days, you're supposed to kind of do a running thing, like on the treadmill. There's like a whole formula behind it. And I was getting pretty bored with running on a treadmill. So I was going to other types of classes. And I was getting some yoga classes in. and I had done SoulCycle in the past. It had been a while since I'd done it, but I decided to take a class again.

And I'd always loved it. And I'd always loved spinning in general when I first started it at like my local college gym back in the day. And so I just instantly re-fell in love with it. And I just loved riding. I just loved the whole experience. I loved how it made me feel. And because I was so entrenched in the fitness world and gaining a following and kind of becoming this, fitness influencer.

I was like, oh my goodness, what if I could become a Soul Cycle instructor? Like the thought slowly came into my mind. And to be honest, even before SoulCycle was in my life and even before fitness was really in my life, back in college, I always thought, oh, my goodness, it would be so cool to be a spin instructor. So it wasn't the first time I had this thought. And so it just kind of launched me into this crazy hype dream that I started really to fight for. So I went to classes. I started talking to instructors. This one incredible instructor and

incredible human, Tremel, a Soul Cycle instructor here in New York City, took me under his wing and helped me a little bit and got me an in in terms of auditioning. And it just started this wild process. And I'm happy to dive into it more. But there was auditions. There was the 10-week training program I had to go through twice. And it was such a fight and a struggle to become a soul cycle instructor, but I don't think I'd ever felt more passionately about anything in my life before, and it was something that I fought like blood, sweat, and tears to make happen. But that's sort of the general evolution of the journey. I can't even imagine what that must have been like trying to become an instructor,

like, because the competition is crazy, right? Oh my God. It's cuckoo bananas crazy. crazy. Like, I think I remember doing all my research beforehand, looking at articles, blog posts, and coming off some, coming across some article that described the Soul Cycle auditions, like American Idol on a bike. And I feel like that's just a really, like, good, quick way to describe it, because in a way, it's like, you have all these people in a room and the emotions are so high and everyone feels like this is their dream. And you have a approximately three minutes to do your audition once you're up there. So all this heightened emotion, all this anxiety leading up to this moment, and then it's gone in an instant because

three minutes is like nothing. So it's, yeah, it's absolutely intense and crazy. And it was, I did auditions twice. And it was nothing like I'd ever experienced in any other part of my life before. I'm curious how, and we'll get into this more in a little bit, But, you know, you're vocal about having social anxiety. How did you overcome that when you were in that environment? Because I feel like, you know, I struggle with social anxiety. And the thought of that is terrifying. Yeah.

Holy smokes. I think, oh, goodness. I think a couple things. One, I think within the audition process, it was probably a little bit more of a struggle. with fear of public speaking and then mixed in with anxiety. Just because you get up there and it's like it's not even a social interaction. It's like a performance and you black out and there's all these people in front of you, but you don't even know what's happening.

Like it's such a mix of emotion and like all these wheels turning it once. But I think overall, well, one, I did go to therapy for a year for social anxiety. so that helped immensely. So I don't feel like I'm struggling with it full force like I did however many years ago, about five years ago. So I have some tools in my toolkit to kind of help manage it. So that was just super helpful in terms of a baseline. And I also think just reflecting now, when you really, really want something and something's your dream and you're willing to fight for it, you're willing to try to overcome whatever obstacles or things that you have that could be potentially holding you back. So yes, I had anxiety and fear of public speaking, but my dream on hopes

to become a soul cycle instructor were stronger than those fears. Right. Yeah. So it kind of outweighed the fear in some way. Yeah. Yeah. I think I was looking back now with hindsight, Maybe it didn't feel like that in the moment, but I think looking back, it certainly did. Always clear in hindsight. So what are some of your tools for dealing with social anxiety? I don't consciously think of them as much anymore. I think at this point, even though I struggle with social anxiety, I actually just did a post about it last night because I had this event that I was dreading, going to, and ended up having a blast once I got there.

and it was my anxiety holding me back and sort of creating those feelings of dread and fear. So yeah, I don't, I still have it and I think a little bit less about the tools. I think probably what I use the most at the moment, if I'm like super anxious, I just try to sit and breathe and just calm myself down because I think sitting and closing your eyes and taking a few moments to connect with your breath isn't a total solution, but it helps sort of bring. that heightened sensation down a bit. Another tool, which I actually haven't used in quite a long time, it's been like sort of an emergency go-to. This one always stuck with me for some reason after my therapy. So my psychiatrist explained to me that your brain is really terrible at multitasking. Like even if you think you're a great multitasker in life, it's probably not true. So when you are going through anxiety, experiencing it, whatever the situation,

may be, your brain is probably racing, different thoughts, you're running through, like, all these emotions and scenarios. And so if you can kind of trick it to switch a little bit, and so a very specific example, it sounds silly and very basic, go through the alphabet. And for example, maybe you're going through the alphabet and every letter is a woman's name. So you go Annie, Beatrice, Cynthia, Daniela, that kind of thing. And if you get to Z, you start over again, you can do more names, or maybe you do vegetables, something like that. So it sounds very basic and silly, but you're all of a sudden switching gears

and making your brain focus on something else, and it's a simple task, so it's relatively easy to do, and it can help subside your anxiety. So I've used that in the past. It's actually been a while since I've done that. But the only other thing I can think of off the top of my head at the moment is also reminding myself of the fact that I've done something like this, before. So for example, if it's going to an event where you have to socialize, or I also will get

anxiety before photo shoots. I actually have a video shoot tomorrow, which I feel my anxiety creeping up about. But I've done these things before, and I haven't just done them, but I've also enjoyed them and been successful at them. So I try and remind myself of past scenarios where things have been totally fine and actually not just fine, but positive as well. Yeah, I think for, anybody listening who might be struggling with this. This is kind of like what you were touching on, but I know for me, like, the anxiety about the thing is always worse than the thing itself. Oh, my God. Ain't that the truth. And the more that you can walk through these things and like you're saying, like do the things that you're afraid of, the more evidence you collect, right,

that you can actually do it. And then the future things get kind of less scary. I guess. Yeah. Yeah. And I think I read some sort of like Instagram inspirational quote. I don't know if it's like a real quote or just some random untagged, uncredited thing going around. But something along the lines of worrying or stressing out about something is like experiencing it twice rather than just, you know, not worrying about it. Easier said than done, of course, and then going through the thing. So that one really stuck with me. It's like all the lead up to an event or to a serious talk that you have to have with someone, whatever you're stressing out about. If you're worrying about it, then shit, you're like putting yourself through that multiple times. That sucks. Oh my God, that's so true.

I'm going to remember that one. So you talked about your influencer event last night. How did you go from SoulCycle to full-time influencer? So I have been doing this full-time in terms of Instagram being an influencer for a year now. So four years total, full time for just over a year. I left SoulCycle at the end of April. So it's been like a year in a month or so at this point. And a lot of people wonder, they're like, why the hell did you fight so hard to become a Soul Cycle instructor? And then you quit? Like, that just seems pretty crazy to a lot of people. And I left for a few reasons. Goodness, I think SoulCycle, I had put it on such a pedestal and thought of it as this dream job.

And then once the reality hit, I just realized, you know, it really is, I don't want to say it's just a job. But when you get a peek behind the curtain into something that you think is the most incredible thing, chances are once you're doing it every single day, it might not be what you believed it to be. And don't get me wrong, I had, I'm so grateful for my soul cycle journey, both the audition, the training, the year and a half that I taught. It changed me. It created so much confidence. It really empowered me in so many ways. But I just got to a point where I realized it wasn't making me happy and it was time to change.

And I had an incredible opportunity to pursue me, my own brand, Instagram, all of that. So I left and I've been doing this full time now and I can't even believe it's been a whole year, but I have to sometimes stop and kind of remind myself like and be grateful that I have figured out how to do this, how to be an influencer, how to be successful at it and, you know, support myself in terms of finances and really go at full force. It takes me, you know, sometimes you can be so in your head about things, but I really try and stop and think and be grateful that I've managed to get to where I am with this so far. Yeah. Do you, I have so many questions that I want to ask you because we're kind of on the same, like,

we're on like the same timeline, kind of. Like I left my full-time job last, I guess I officially left like last August-ish and then started doing this full-time last fall. How are you? I mean, okay. I need to organize my thought because like, okay, where do we start? What do you love about it? I think I love, and it's funny, this just popped into my head. It's kind of what I loved about Soul Cycle as well. I love having the opportunity to connect with people, to also connect people, and provide some sort of positivity, optimism, and perhaps even deeper, some sort of

of, I don't want to say like life changing. That might be too strong of a word. But being able to provide something of value to people, whether that, because my account kind of ranges from sort of silly stuff. Like at the moment, it's actually, I'm laughing because it's one of my favorite things. I don't know if you've seen it, but I do this thing with a banana. Have you seen it? Oh, God. It makes me laugh. And if anyone has not seen it. I'll just summarize. I get on Insta Stories. I peel open a banana and I bite it and zoom it up on my face really quickly. And it's just very strange and I'll do it four or five times in a row. And so I bring this up because that's a really simple thing that doesn't really have any meaning.

But it makes me laugh and I always get a lot of messages from people whenever I post that that someone's like, oh my goodness, I just cracked up watching this or someone's like, hey, I've been on my couch really sad all day and this just brought a smile to my face. So being able to provide little moments like that. And then going deeper, there are other times where I've shared a story that's been a personal story, whether it's about breakups or sharing about my anxiety or sharing about my soul cycle experience, whatever that sort of more vulnerable story is, I've had people reach out to me and whether it's just that's made them feel better about what they've gone through in their life, or perhaps they then take some sort of action after reading what I've been through or reading about

any advice that I have to give. That feels really powerful and special to me to be able to be in a position where I can provide that to people by being super open about my life and what I'm going through. And you have this ability to go from like kind of silly, goofy in one post and then in the next post go really deep. And like you have a way of, I think just being really relatable and really real and um but like overall i would say like you kind of emanate this light and it's very refreshing um oh thank you you means a lot yeah do you do you get a lot of hate or like trolls you know oh oh god here's the thing i don't really and i would say for a while um it was at such a minimum. And it used to be more in my BBG soul cycle days where I would post a transformation photo

or something with my body. And for the most part, I got really positive feedback. A few people who would say things like, you look like a boy or some guy once was like, I'm looking for the penis in the second photo. I guess he's referring to how muscular I was and that it wasn't very curvy. Who the fuck knows? So I used to get stuff like that. Now, to be super honest, I've definitely gotten a few things recently about some of the products I choose to do for sponsorships or that kind of thing. A few people have had some issues with that, which, hey, you know, everyone's allowed to have their opinion. So I've gotten a little bit more negative feedback, less about me and more about those kinds of things. I will say I've gotten a few things sometimes

that have just boggled my mind with how I just, I'm like, how could someone have a problem with this? I'll give you an example. And you tell me what you think. Maybe, you know, maybe I was in the wrong. I don't think I was. But about a year ago, I had an apartment with a big balcony. And there was a parakeet that flew onto my balcony. And it was, I grew up with parakeets.

Like parakeets, at least in Brooklyn, where I was living at the time, are not why. and flying around. And it had a little ring around its, uh, its claw, its foot. And I, I googled that. And that means it comes from a breeder. So this, this bird was never wild. And so I was like, oh my God, I got to save his parakeet. I somehow got it in my apartment. I freaking went to Petco spent a hundred dollars on a cage and bird food and all these things. Got it in the bird cage posted on Craigslist, all these different pet sites, hoping I could find its owner. And I couldn't, I couldn't find anyone.

But, of course, as I always do, anything somewhat interesting that happens, I posted on stories. And this one gal writes to me so mad because I'm promoting bird captivity. Oh, my God. And I'm like, believe me, I'm, if it was a pigeon or I don't know what other wild birds are in New York City, I would understand her being upset. but this was a parake, clearly someone's pet. So it's like those moments sometimes they happen every couple of months where I'm just, I'm just like, I thought I did something nice.

I'm trying to find this bird at home and not have it killed by like a car predator. So yeah, sometimes I'll get something like that. I think that you were in the right. Okay. Thank you. I'm sure there's someone listening maybe who does not agree, but I was trying to do the right thing, you know. But yeah, I would say for the most part, I'm not really getting too much, like, hate about me fortunately.

That's, I do feel fortunate about that. Yeah. You mentioned, though, that you do get backlash a little bit about doing sponsored stuff. And that's something that I've received as well. And I feel like there's just kind of this. There's what the job is and like this and then what people expect. And when I feel like people will have this expectation. for you, not you, but like, okay, I'll say the influencer in general to like deliver content all

the time for their enjoyment. And I mean, it's a job at the end of the day, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I think people, yeah, I struggle with it too. And I think that people, I think that sometimes the negative backlash come in terms of just sponsored posts in general. I would say in my mind, a large amount of time, it's that they don't understand, which is totally normal because this is a new job. Sponsored posts are totally a new thing as of the last couple of years. I actually wrote a really long blog post called The Anatomy of a Sponsored Post. If anyone wants to go check it out, it's just on my website, on my Jared Bean.com in the blog section.

And I break down everything that happens with a sponsored post. from the moment a brand reaches out to creative briefs to how I prep for my photo shoot to taking the photos to caption approvals because I just want people to and I'm I try to be as transparent as possible I just want people to know what goes into it so if they have that information and still want to be upset about it then you know that's their choice but at least understand sort of the work that goes into it and another thing that I wish people would understand that perhaps they just don't is that that At least for me, I can't speak for everyone who's an influencer.

This is my full-time job and I don't have any other income right now. I don't have a product. I don't have a service that I sell. I hope to in the future. I have something where I'm making another stream of revenue. But this is my full-time job. And girl, I got so many bills. Shit, like I added up my monthly expenses in terms of my rent and my insurance and

I pay my assistant and like my email list convert kit. service, you know, my Photoshop, my Adobe, and it's thousands of dollars. And like, I don't have a family giving me money. I don't have a husband who's supporting me. I don't have a trust fund. Like, it's just me at this point. And so when some woman a couple weeks ago commented, like, all you do is sponsored ads, it's disgusting. I'm like, first of all, that's not true. But second of all, I mean, if we had an honest discussion about how I'm supporting myself and trying to save money, would you still think that's disgusting? Probably not. So, yeah.

Yeah. I listened to a podcast yesterday and it was with like a big digital agency. And they were saying like in the beginning from a brand point of view, brands were like, why would I pay a blogger? It was like blogging at the time or now an influence. and and the agency, the publicist or whatever agent was saying, like, you would pay a photographer and you would pay like the makeup artist on a shoot, you know what I mean? And the influencer, the blogger does all of that. Right.

So the whole package in one. Right. And like it costs money to produce content. So. Yeah. We need to get for it. Totally. Yeah. And I think the more we can sort of speak about that and be transparent, whether it's with our

followings or with brands, the more understanding will be provided. And then people can make a little bit more of an informed decision of how they want to feel. So we kind of covered like, I mean, what do you not like about the influencer space? Ah, goodness. I mean, I think there's probably a good amount that I that I don't like or that I struggle with to balance out all the wonderful and positive things about it as well. I think it's easy to kind of get caught up in the comparison game, just looking at what other, just as anyone would in any other field, I think, looking at what other people are doing and how they're progressing and looking at their success. And of course, I'm happy for people. But then also you're like, wait, why am I not doing that? Or am I not good

enough. It's easy to let those feelings creep in when things are so visible and things are so apparent and everyone's posting about sort of every moment of their life. So I certainly struggle with that just like anyone else would. And I think this is something I've talked a lot about over the last few months, just internally to myself with other people on other podcasts. I think I'm frustrated because I love Instagram and this is my job right now and I've made a living from it and I'm successful at it within the moment. But I don't really know what the next step is. Like I don't know, I don't have an answer for what this looks like in two or five or ten years. And I don't necessarily want an answer for 10 years, but I wish I had a little bit more of a grasp on what I would like the

next step to be. So that's also something I'm struggling with right now because I want to sink my teeth into a project in addition to Instagram or even linked to Instagram, but something more than just what I'm doing now. So that's not necessarily a negative. It's just sort of a gray area that I find myself in currently. Yeah, it's hard because it's kind of the industry is evolving so quickly. I mean, if you think about, you know, five years ago, it was influencers were like maybe just becoming a thing.

Yeah. And like so much has happened in five years. And like I was talking to someone about this the other day about like diversifying and being across different platforms. Because I mean the way technology is advancing like you just there's just kind of that like fear in the back of my head at least that like Instagram happened to be around forever. Right. I mean look at 10 years ago was MySpace, right?

Yeah. Oh God. nostalgic for that day. Like top eight. It's like that's obsolete now. Right. Right. So I totally, totally relate to that.

All right. Well, why don't we go to some listener questions? Ooh, that's exciting. I had people spend in questions last night. Cool. I'm ready. How do you, and I might put my own spin on this one, actually. How do you handle body image issues?

and I'm going to add staying out of the comparison trap. Yeah. Well, I'm in a very interesting point in my life right now in that my body has changed a lot over the last year. So we talked a little bit about my BBG days. Looking back on photos just within my BBG days, I was definitely a lot smaller and muscular than I am now. And then when you add soul cycle into the mix, so it took me about a year to become a SoulCycle instructor between the crazy amounts of writing and the training. And then I taught for about a year and a half. So that was about two and a half years of really, really intense soul cycle.

And I look back on photos because I have like 45,000 photos in my phone, something ridiculous. So so much my last couple of years have been documented. And I honestly am shocked when I look at old photos because I am so tiny, like shockingly so, especially when you compare it to where I am right now. And hey, you know, I'm still like, like small, but I'm not as, I have more fat on my body than I used to. I look at old photos and there's pretty much zero fat on there. So it's been an interesting journey to go from my, what, quote unquote, regular body to begin, to sort of BBG, to super intense soul cycle. And now kind of get back to a point. where I think my body is probably similar to what it was when I first started BBG,

like before I even got into my fitness journey. And I got to say, I'm so happy with it because I focus more on how I feel. And especially when I compare it to my Soul Cycle days where I was just so exhausted and drained and the life was kind of sucked out of me. And I don't feel that anymore because I'm not. teaching 13 to 17 classes a week. So even though I very much respect the body that I had at that time because it just came because of hard work and fighting for the dream of becoming a soul cycle instructor and actually teaching for a year and a half, I've nothing against that body. But I think I feel

much happier now because I feel more rested and more grounded and more centered. So I try and keep that in mind when I think about my body image. That being said, now that I'm not like a size 23 jeans and like teeny, teeny, tiny, like it was a year or two years ago, there certainly are moments where all of a sudden I'll think like, oh, wow, like I look fat or am I gaining weight? Like these thoughts that I haven't had for so long are now a little bit more occurring a little bit more often than they used to for the last couple of years. And it's just like you have ups and downs and sometimes those thoughts come in. And I think it's a little bit of a practice to try and soften them or quiet them or get rid of them entirely. But I also think it's normal to have those and also not

beat yourself up for having them. So yeah, I would say when it comes to body image, it's sort of really embracing how you feel and not focusing 100% on how you look and also just taking the ups and downs as they come and not beating yourself up for having a day where you're not feeling so awesome about your body like that's totally normal yeah I love that so this is kind of related what is what does balance mean to you balance oh hmm it's like the yeah it's like the hot word I think for me, I think balance really coming back to that idea of how you feel and trusting what your body is telling you. And every day that means something a little bit different. For example, I have been trying to sort of get back into working out.

And what I mean is just getting a little bit more of a consistent schedule because working out a couple times a week makes me feel good. and I felt really proud of myself on Monday and Tuesday. I woke up early. I went to like my 7 a.m. yoga class. And then yesterday, Wednesday, I had every intention of going to my early morning yoga class and I actually slept through it. And I sort of beat myself up about it. I was like, oh, you should have woken up, whatever.

But my body clearly wanted to sleep. So the days that you feel like you want to get a sweat in and you know that's going to make you feel good and empower you. then go to the gym, get your workout on, whatever that is. But on the flip side, if you're feeling tired and your body needs rest, listen to that and don't be yourself up for needing to sort of relax or skip a workout, that kind of thing. When it comes to food, that's a little bit more challenging for me because, to be honest,

I just sort of, I feel like I eat so intuitively, like, yo, if I'm hungry, I'm going to eat this. If I want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I'm going to eat this. Like, I don't really think about it that much. And for me personally, that works. I just listen to my body and when it's hungry, I feed it. And that's kind of the balance that works for me when it comes to food specifically. But that's such a very specific issue, or not issue, but a very specific case-by-case basis, I think, because we all react so differently and need different things when it comes to food and nutrition.

Yeah. What is the main thing that helped you find self-love? These are some hard-hitting questions. I know. I'm just kidding. They're good ones. I think the first thing that comes to mind is pushing myself out of my comfort zone. And I look at leaving my job as a graphic designer because I wasn't happy.

I look at immersing myself in Instagram and this new world that was completely different a couple years ago. I look at my soul cycle journey. I look at leaving Soul Cycle. I look at over the last year trying to tackle my fear of public speaking and do more panels and talks and teaching classes. So I look at this process of getting out of my comfort zone as a form or sort of a journey to self-love. Because even if you're scared, shitless, and one of my favorite mantras and sayings is feel the fear and do it anyway. I think by tackling something that you're scared of, whether it's a one, off thing or whether it's a longer journey, you prove to yourself that you're capable. And if you don't do it and you

somehow fail, then damn, like at least you had the balls, for lack of a better phrase, to try and put yourself out there. So I think when it comes to self-love, it's sort of learning to challenge yourself, whether it's physically or emotionally or mentally, spiritually, and regardless of the outcome, being proud that you had the guts to do it. I love that so much. Thank you. It just came right to the top of my head. I was like, I have no idea what this answer is going to be, but we're going to go with what my guts telling me.

Yeah. It's really poignant. I love it. Okay. The last one is from, I'm totally calling her out from Kennedy. Yay. Hi, Kennedy. This is a really, this is going to be a really hard-hitting question.

Oh, my God. Why do I feel like it's not going to be? But go for it. what's it like dating an older man oh my god i love that question um my husband is twice age by the way so he's twice your age you said yeah yeah hey girl you know honestly like love and relationships i mean it's such uh there's no right or wrong that's i think the beautiful thing about like my dad i think is 13 years older than my mom um so it's whatever works for you but um in terms of me i'm like smiling so big right now because i'm so in love and my my boyfriend

just so he's the freaking best ever for lack of a better term he's just so awesome um i love him so much and in terms of dating an older man i mean i feel like with aaron it's just it's more of who he is and less that he's less the fact that he's older he's only like i think well right now my birthday's in a couple days so once it's my birthday he'll be eight years older than me but at the moment he's nine. And I think what I just love about him and regardless of whether it's because he's older or what, it's just, there's an emotional maturity there that I love. And I think I really have yet to experience in my life in terms of a relationship. And he's just so giving and attentive and makes me a priority. And I'm just dumbfounded each day that I'm so love.

to be with someone who cares for me so immensely. It honestly blows my mind every day. I'm like, what? Like someone can be this nice and loving and wonderful and sweet and just incredible to me, which it sounds so silly to say. But when you haven't had that for pretty much your whole life and then you get it, you're like, holy shit, this is what I've been missing. And this is why all the relationships in the past didn't work out. Like, this is what I've been waiting for. Yeah, and you had to go through what you had to go through to get there, right? Yeah. Totally.

And know what's right and what's wrong and what works and what doesn't work. So all the things that we go through, whether the relationships or otherwise, they're all learning blocks. So nothing's ever necessarily a mistake. But it's just sort of a stepping stone towards getting to what is the right thing. So what's next for you? What's coming up? Oh, God.

We're finishing with my least feeling. favorite question. No, I'm just kidding. No, I only say it's my least favorite just because, as I mentioned earlier, I do feel like I'm in this gray area of not really knowing. However, I will say, you heard it here first. I am doing this coaching program in the middle of June, and it's like many, many weeks long, there's someone I follow on Instagram. His name is, well, his name is John Kim, but his handle is called The Angry, sorry, the Angry Therapist. He's really incredible for a variety of reasons, but he is a real-life therapist, and he has this incredible coaching program that my friend went through, and I'm going to do it not necessarily

because I specifically want to become a coach, but I have this idea and I think a common thread through a lot of my content and what I like to speak about is about confidence. And I would love to, I don't have an exact answer, but whether it's like workshops, or an event or a reoccurring event that happens across the city or the country, like several different states, I don't know, or an online course, something around the idea of building confidence in women and empowering women to feel more confident. At the moment, besides my personal experiences and what I share on Instagram, I don't really have the tools to do that. Like, I don't know what that programming or

content would be in order to have a real genuine effect and actual outcome for people. So I'm thinking that this coaching program could be a good foundation and sort of to get those wheels in motion. So that's sort of the next tangible step that I'm taking in terms of something besides Instagram and another project that I'm taking on. But I don't quite know what the end result is, but I have to be honest, I'm excited to work towards something. And I do think it would be, or it will be beneficial and sort of taking a next step around helping people more and providing more content and advice and the theme around confidence. Yeah, I love it.

I would take your course. I would let you coach me. Oh, my goodness. Any day. Okay, well, cool. TBD. Maybe we'll be happening later. I'll keep you updated.

Yeah, but like, honestly, what you're doing daily on your Instagram, I think I can speak for myself, but and others because a lot of women DM'd me when I said that you were coming on the podcast and said that they love following you and they have for years and that you help so much with their own journeys. So you're doing something right. Oh, thank you. Yeah. It's always, you know, it's always nice to hear that.

So I appreciate that a lot. Of course. So where can everybody find you? I'm on the gram at Jarra Bean, but I've got a period in there. So it's at jera. dot bean. I've got my website, jerrybine.com, my blog lives there. You know, Twitter's like, there's some stuff happening on there. So I'm jerebean on there as well. And I think, I think that's about it. Don't look at Facebook, not too interesting. So the gram is probably where you guys

want to head to first, for sure. All right. Love it. Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you for having me. I hope you loved that convoy. And as always, please rate, review. I know the sound quality on this one maybe was shitty. So you don't have to review that. I know. Anyway, share on your social media. Tag me. I love seeing when you guys are listening to it. Subscribe. I totally forgot that subscribe was a thing. You know, just do all the things. it really is going to help me in the long run to be able to keep doing this and I really appreciate you