Well with Arielle Lorre - 16: HEATHER MCMAHAN - Doing the Most

Episode Date: July 31, 2019

In this episode Arielle talks to comedian, actress and Instagram star Heather McMahan about her unexpected career trajectory; life in New York vs. LA and the south; social media; relationships; plastic surgery and being naturally unnatural. They compare their struggles with stress and hormone dysfunction, and Heather also gives a wellness update and takes listener questions. This is a fun, light-hearted conversation that also touches on important topics in life, career and health! Follow Heather here on Instagram! The Blonde Files Podcast on Instagram    Follow Arielle here on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ariellelorre/ And catch up with Arielle here on YouTubeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You are listening to the Blonde Files podcast. I'm your host, Ariel Lorry. My guest today really needs no introduction. Unless you've been living under a rock, no offense, you probably know and love and follow Heather McMahon. She is an internet sensation, an Instagram superstar, a comedian, an actress, actor, actress. I feel like I don't hear people say actress as much. Maybe it's not PC in 2019 to say that. I don't know. I can't keep up anymore.

She also has been on the Today Show like twice in the past month, including co-hosting it this past Monday, which is major. And she is just the nicest person ever. So if you are one of those people who did not know who she was or do not follow her on social media, you will and your life will be a little bit better for it. Anyway, I don't love a long-winded intro, so let's get to it. So that works. All right, so I have Heather McMahon here. Hi. Hi. Oh, wow. Look at you. Radio voice. Girl is literally doing the most these days. You are doing the most. I have to admit, I'm kind of a newer follower, I think. Okay. So a girlfriend sent me your story. Okay. Maybe a couple months ago when you were talking about Instagram.

verification. You were like, call my mom and she sent it to me because I've been going through the same thing. So what is going on with that? So it's interesting. As a comedian, like, I'm doing a tour this fall and all these things that are now starting to happen. All I wanted for the blue checkmark

was simply because I thought that, like, if you got hacked, Instagram basically, like, kept your shit in a database somewhere. Now I realize that's not even it, so I don't get that. No, I guess they can keep it. They can protect you from you know, impostors coming in and making other accounts. But I was just like, listen, you guys won't verify me.

So I went to Instagram, had a meeting with them because they were like, who the fuck are you? What do you do? We want to know what's going on. And I was like, yeah, I love a verification. I've applied. My agents have called. They won't verify me.

They don't have enough press. I'm like, you know what? Call my mother. Talk to her. That's all the press you need as far as I'm concerned, you know? I'm sorry, but that is bullshit. Right. Because, well, wow.

I like your dedication. I like that you went to Instagram because that same thing went through my mind. I was like, I'm going to New York. I wonder if I just pop in there. Yeah, and just say, what's up? Where's my blue mark? So many people who get verified left and right who have nothing. And I'm not shaming a mommy blogger, but it's like a mommy blogger who has like four followers.

Yeah. And she's like breastfeeds her kids until they're 15. Like that. You're like, okay, you're going to verify them, but I'm actually like hitting comedy clubs. Okay. Yeah, sure. And I mean today show, hello. Hello.

I'm not a stalker, but I was like personally invested in your verification and I was like, it's going to happen this weekend. And I kept going back and checking because I feel like the injustice. I'm like, this is not fucking cool, especially because I have girls that, you know, follow me and that I see and they have like a quarter of the followers, no press, nothing at all, not doing the most. Right. And then they get it like last week. And I'm like, I'm like, I'm, I think it's off about that.

I feel like we're like indie band. We're doing the Lord's work, right? We're out there, like, connecting with the people. So let that girl who's selling flat tummy tea all day, let her have her check. And I'm going to have the people. That's all that matters. True. And that's what you got.

You are the people's, I mean, we'll get into that. But, like, I want to know what it's like. I mean, you're getting stopped in the street. People are giving you jewelry. That was wild. Do you get recognized everywhere now? I do, but it's funny before I was even, like, really put myself out in the public. I also just have one of those soft,

southern faces where I, people, before anybody knew who I was, they would say, you remind me as somebody, I can't put my finger on it. So I've been getting that since I was like 11. Usually it's like Anna Nicole Smith. They're like, oh, yeah, it's Anna Nicole Smith. She was hot though. She was hot. But I do think I probably, right now, where I am in my life, I'm probably a little bit more like trim spa when she was speedballing Anna Nicole. And that's fine. I'll take it, you know. But yeah, it's crazy. People come up to me because I am so like honest and open on Instagram. They're like, oh, she's my best friend. Yeah. Which I love it. When I get approached places, I'm like, yes, like the people are out there.

They're feeling it. I love it. And the verification will come. It will come. The only person who needs to verify me is the Lord. Wow. And he gave me a blue check a long time ago. There you have it. That makes me feel better. Right. It's easy to get really caught up in it, especially when it's like part of the work. It's part of your work. I know for me it's a little bit different because I'm like influencer or whatever. But, um. No, I. I'm. I'm, I literally now go to your page so I know like what I need to do with my life. Oh. No, I do.

No, but you're good at it. Like you're really good. I like explaining like products and things and like what you're doing in like wellness where I'm like, oh, this actually makes sense and I believe it. Thank you. I mean. I appreciate that. I never, you know, I think I was telling my assistant last night. I'm like I think I kind of look like a major basic bitch.

Like if you just looked at me like I check all the boxes. But beneath it, like I've always wanted to just be like, no bullshit. This is what you get. And I use all of my experiences to, like, try to help other people who might need to navigate all of that. I love that. I don't know. I mean, from the outside, like, if you're giving basic bitch vibes, I'm more of, like, you know, Vegas hooker is kind of, like, the energy that I give off to a lot of people. I don't know why I could be at a bar waiting for, you know, a family member.

And I will always get nasty looks from women. I don't know what it is. Yes. But the thing is, you are so nice. Thank you. I agree. It's so nice. I mean, we don't know each other. You were like crazy day trying to sell shows and show up here after I DM'd you. Like, of course. So cool. And we actually, so we were kind of connected in a funny way. Okay. So you were on the Lulu Lemon Wellness Retreat. Yes. And my internet friend who I hadn't even met in real life yet, Sarah. You know, I was like, oh my God, you have to go find Heather McMahon. And she didn't follow you at that point. So I sent her a bunch of your stories. And then at like 11 o'clock one night, she DM. me and I was like, I know, I know what this is going to be. And I open it and it's you two. And

and then that was how like the thread started. And I never wanted to be like, I don't know, you know how it is. Probably when people DM you and you answer once because, but you can't have full, full conversations all the time with everybody. Right. It's a lot. I never want to do that. But I was like, you know, I'm going to ask and you were so gracious. No, she was fantastic. And and then we all just connected. I mean, listen, I try to be very engaged with people. And I really am just a down-ass bitch who likes to have a good time and a good conversation. Yeah. You know?

And Sarah's fantastic. I'm excited to get back into yoga. Here's my thing. Have you been to Y-7? I haven't yet. I mean, I just got back to the city and she's like, come whenever you want. And I know that that's my vibe. Dark room.

Totally. You know, just no judgment kind of feeling. And I'm really good at yoga because I'm flexible. Oh. I mean, I can, I'm like, could have been a contortionist, but my legs by my head. I just don't know any of the, like the phrases. Yeah.

Like what's chataranga. Right. You know, Downward dogs should just be face down, ass up. That's what it is. So let's just simplify it. Yeah. You know?

No, I'm totally with you. And she was just here. So it's fresh in my mind. And she was like, yeah, you don't have to know any of that stuff. Right.

It's not all like upper east side moms and their, you know, whatever Lulu Lemon and like all perfect bodies and models and whatever. So I haven't tried it yet either. But like a tribe called sweat. I was like, that's pretty cool. Yes.

Yeah. And she's just very. she's just down to earth and that's what it is. I think yoga, okay, it's an ancient practice but it should be something tangible that the everyday gal can do. Yeah, yeah. You know? So you just got back to New York.

I did. Let's get a wellness update on New York right now. So wellness update, here's the deal. I think I'm allergic to New York. I lived here years ago, that's how I met my fiancee, Jeff. And now that I've been out of New York, New York's one of those places when you come in your early 20s, you either stay for 15, 20 years

or you stay for a year at E. you up and you leave. I was here for five years, did my thing. But once you leave New York, it's very hard to come back because everything is a thousand times exponentially harder here. I mean, everything, getting your groceries is a schlep. Just trying to get to a meeting, it's a schlep. You know, that's an old Yiddish word just to say, it's a pain in the ass. So for me... I have to like Instacart because I can't deal with the grocery situation, like walking to the grocery store. It's too much. You're buying like water and stuff like that if you don't have delivery. I mean, it's, yeah, it's way too much. Oh, and I tried to do the fresh direct,

but they're like, we can't get your stuff to you until Saturday. I'm like, what? So I've got to figure out like my Amazon Prime, my whole foods. Yeah. It's just a whole thing. But because I'm, I can't cook, like, I'm the worst chef in America. I'm still an OG where I like to go to the grocery store and, like, touch products. And like, what is this dip? Like, I just buy a bunch of dips and a bunch of pretzels and that's how I live my life. I love it. Yeah. Hashtag healthy living. Hashtag wellness. Yeah. Yeah. New York should It's just a pain. It's a pain. It's a lot of, it's very aggressive on all your, like, your sights, your smells, the feeling. It's hot. It's muggy. It's stinky. It's all those things. Yeah. It's very unsettling when you're walking around. I mean, I think I did like a story on this the other day, but I was walking around and I was like, you feel like in the summer, like the heat kind of, it bakes the pavement, right?

Right. Therefore, it bakes the bodily fluids. so much urine. So much urine. And it just blasts you in the face. And you don't know, and feces. And you don't know if it's human or animal. Well, here, the thing

is we don't live in San Francisco, which is a good thing because you know what happened in San Francisco. So many humans were shitting in the streets that they had to, there was an app because people, I think it was, yeah, there was there was like a philanthropic app because there were volunteers, I think, from like the

health department that would go around and collect the human feces because the homeless are so bad in San Francisco. My girlfriend just moved to Atlanta from San Francisco and she said, Heather, like, we would have a neighborhood watch where, hey, somebody just shit outside of our building. Isn't that disgusting? Oh, my God. That is San Francisco. That's intense.

I didn't know that about San Francisco. Although, are you talking about Kathleen Barnes? Yes, yes. Because I follow her and I don't remember seeing that, but I know that she not like San Francisco. This was a private conversation. Because I sent her message. I was like, How's the human poop, you know, trail?

And she's like, oh, girl, let me tell you about it. Yeah. Yeah. Where were we? Oh, I had an event yesterday, and these girls were talking about, there were a few different situations. There was one who saw someone just poop on the subway. No.

Just pants down. Yeah. And then I was, like, walking behind a group of girls two days ago, and she was like, can we talk about how somebody just had diarrhea right in front of me in Central Park? And she's like, she said there was no warning. They didn't even squat. They were just walking. And then she heard it.

And then she saw it. Like no squat, nothing. What was this like, you know, a housewife who just, okay, okay. On like a skinny tea. Got it, got to, got, got it. Because, I mean, I've been there. Like, I've been there where I've, like that espresso hits. And you're like, not going to make it.

Uh-oh. Something's happening. It's happening. Yeah, yeah. We've all been there. We've all been there. But, wow. Yeah.

I mean, it's kind of to the point where. You know, I'll get like heckled by a homeless person. You know, if they're like, hey, do you have change? I always, if I can give something, I will. Who carries cash? No one carries cash anymore. I literally had a man scream at me. Just like, you dumb bitch?

I was like, I am a dumb bitch. What do you want me to do? I'm so sorry. I have no change on me, you know? Yeah, they need to get like those square things. Yeah, I'm like some kind of system. Seriously. Just swipe it.

They would probably get so much more. No, they would. I'll give you five bucks. I see what we're dealing with. Yeah, yeah. I know. It's crazy. But, you know, New York is funny.

I always say there's L.A. in New York. The difference is there's the L.A. invite where people pretend to be invested. Hey, let's go get lunch. You're like, great. I'm available Thursday at 2. Oh, I didn't think you were going to actually, like, show up to lunch or, like, follow through, you know? It's so flaky. It's so flaky. And do you think, like, after living in both cities, I feel like in L.A., everyone just has such crippling insecurity. True. Yep. So that's what it is. It's like if you can't give me something, do something for me or elevate me in a way, then I'm just, I can't be bothered. Yeah, I agree with that. I feel like I'm kind of, I'm in a phase right now where I'm a little bit over L.A.

Right. And I'm really feeling the city aside from the shit everywhere. Just the fact that I feel like I'm dying. Right. At the time. Aside from that, it's just the people here, and I'm originally from the East Coast. You're from Atlanta, right? Yeah, yeah.

So just different people. I don't know. You get it. It's just weird. Being in your car all the time. Right. It's just kind of depressing. Yeah.

And I, I always. say like LA well they well there's an old phrase leave LA before leave New York before it makes you hard leave LA before it makes you soft okay and I feel like I've spent I did five years in New York then another like four in LA so I've kind of like I bounce back and forth so I'll do another like two years in New York and then go back you know how that works I'm not a creature of habit I don't like to sit anywhere too long so I think I kind of have to bounce back and forth to keep perspective a lot yeah I like that you're always on the go like always I mean at least since I've been following, you're all over the place. It's been wild. I'm trying to rack up those Delta

points. You know, it's a loyal forever. Yeah, I've been traveling a lot. We're going to do a tour in the fall. We're announcing it this week. So I'm going to be kind of hitting the United States. I love it. Are you going to do like by bus? No, not going to do it by bus. We don't have that kind of money yet. But I'm waiting to get a bus where I can just like plaster my like nude photo on like a bear skin rug across a bus. Yeah. And you'll get verified. Yeah, yeah. That'll definitely be verified. Yeah. Amazing. So you kind of had. So you were kind of touching on how you went from New York to L.A., but what was your experience in L.A. like? I mean, how long were you there for?

I was there, I think, four years. And then my dad passed, and I had to kind of pick up everything and move immediately back to Atlanta to help my mom and my sister kind of figure out life after my dad. The interesting thing was all my East Coast friends told me before I moved to L.A., you're going to hate everybody there. They're so fake. But because I'm in comedy, I'm very observative people. So to me, everyone in L.A. is very open about how many pills they're on, what kind of psychosis they're dealing with. It's just very open. People in New York and on the East Coast bottle it up. So you find out like two years into a friendship that someone's like fucking nuts. Yeah. Like that's kind of how it works. We're in L.A. They're just like, hey, I'm name's Lauren. So I'm on Xanax, Kalanapin. And sometimes I do Adderall. But like, I love tacos. Like, how are you? And you're like, great. Thank you so much for living your truth.

Right. Yeah. It's the lifestyle. Yeah, it's how it is. Were you trying to act? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I was acting. Yeah, yeah. I was acting, stand-up, kind of doing all of it.

You know, I went to school for theater. Like, that's my love. I'm a theater nerd. But comedy's just always been my love. To me, the biggest reward is getting to put a smile on somebody's face and have them laugh. That's just the greatest feeling in the world. Yeah. So I would imagine that the move back to Atlanta was unexpected.

Yeah. I was listening to a podcast. guest that you were on this morning actually. I can't remember the name. Directionally challenged. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Candice and Kayla. Very interesting.

Yeah, they had me come on and do a whole episode about grief because I think grief is something we're all starting to experience now as we become adults. And I never expected to lose my dad that young before I was 30. He died very quickly of cancer. I mean, it was literally, he basically had a heart attack as far as I'm concerned. It was seven days from day of diagnosis, the day of death. Wow. So I just learned a lot.

I had to kind of grow up real quick. And I was in a very dark place in my life because I thought, oh, you know, not only if I just lost my dad, but now I'm having to go back to Atlanta and God, life is so unfair and look what's happened in me. It was all about me. I didn't think about all the other people that were affected by my dad's passing. And so it was interesting, though, because coincidentally, like my career started to take off. Once I moved back to Atlanta, Instagram stories became a thing.

So I started kind of blogging, vlogging, if you will, my day to day. of living back home with my mom and going through the grief. In the darkest times, it's the funniest shit. Like, genuinely, when you're going through something hard, it's usually the funniest moments are those little glimmers of light that say, like, you're going to get through this. So I was just able to become really relatable to people,

and I think I had to go home to have a fresh perspective. You can get really bogged down in the day-to-day my new show of living in New York or L.A., and, you know, you only see things in one point of view. Yeah. But then when I had to go home and, like, live through shit, I was like, oh, life just got that much richer. Yeah.

You totally live in a bubble when you're on either of the cities on the coast. I mean, and you don't realize it because you don't have the perspective. And like, I'm from Rhode Island. So as soon as I go back home, I'm like, oh, my God. Like, that is not real life at all. So it's interesting that that happened and that it kind of was a turning point in your career almost, right? It was. And I just think it's because I was able to connect to such a bigger audience.

And then the engagement really started because everybody would message me Heather, I just lost my parent, I just lost a relative, a friend, you know, whatever. We're all kind of in this together. And I just started to live my life really authentically, openly, honestly, on the internet. And it was wild the response I got.

So that's why I went, you know, to circle back to when you said, do you like it when people come up to you? I love it. It's so fun. Because I like to know I'm a part of somebody's everyday life. That's all I want to do is bring people joy. So however I can have, help somebody get through a hard time, whether it's me making fun of myself or talking about

something crazy that's happened to me. Let me do it. You know? Yeah. And I think people right now are craving, like, authenticity and they're craving, like, people are over the Instagram aesthetic, the whole curated thing. I don't know. I was reading some article about, like, the next generation influencers who are like 17 and they have, you know, it's just crazy. But they were saying that they're all like they're they're way more real than like people our age now I'm sounding like grandma over here but now you don't have kids right no no would you I always get asked would you ever let your kids on social media and I'm like no not till they're 18 never I cannot imagine okay so Kennedy you had social media growing up right that's okay smart your mom's smart and now here you are right now you're

a thought Tiana no I see her pose But I could learn a couple things like from, like, I don't know how to take a sexy photo. And anytime I am not just being funny, like, if I put up, like, a photo that I love, people just lose their mind. They're like, whoa. They don't know what to do. They don't know what to do. I'm like, you guys, I don't know how to put on a little rouge and a fur coat and hit the town. A little rude.

Do you know what rouge is? Oh, my God. It's an old, it's an old word for, like, blush. Yeah, a little rouge. That's okay. You don't know what blush is? made makeup Oh, I thought it was like a turn.

No, no, no, no, no. I love it. She's like, what is that short for? I love that now. Oh, my God. Kids. Yeah, kids. I had to hire a super millennial

because I don't know how to do Instagram and YouTube and all that stuff. That's such a smart move, though. Yeah, yeah. I was sactic. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, I mean, had to be strategic about it. I mean, you know how to, can you show me how to do a couple of things on my iPhone after this? I was in the car with some younger girls and back of the cab and they,

paid for their cab they just put up their phone and it like it's an app i downloaded it okay well i don't know how to do this i literally turned your mic on by the way welcome to the podcast oh hi i mean i'm fumbling through my purse i'm like you know sweating trying to get out of the cab as quickly as possible i did not know that you could just hold up your phone and pay for shit yeah like can you do apple pay at like a grocery store or something can you yeah no you can but do you know how oh no i don't know how you can do the same thing. You can do the, and now like, curb? That's what it's called here. Well, damn. You should have a new podcast where the millennial explains things to us as elders.

Us elders. Yeah. I'm both of your elders and then, yeah, yeah. How old are you? I'm 24. Okay, wow, baby nugget. I love it. So Facebook came out when I first, it was my first year, no, senior year of high school, 2005, right? And I went to college and you had to have a college, you know, email address. You had to be invited, too, I remember. You had to be invited. And I remember, you know, I would carry my little digital camera around my wrist when I went to the bars in college. And then I have to come up with, like, funny album names.

And it was very strategic about which photos you uploaded. I mean, if there was Instagram around when I was in college, I wouldn't have made it out a lot. No. And I actually did drop out of college. And so I couldn't get the, I couldn't get Facebook. Right. I didn't have the dot edU thing. I was like, okay.

That's incentive. To stay in. Yeah. So what brought you out to L.A.? Oh, God. Well, I have a sorted past. So I was like a hardcore alcoholic drug addict. Okay.

And I, so I dropped out of college, moved back to Rhode Island, got my first DUI at like 19. Wow. Went to Florida for rehab with no intention of stopping or anything. I was just getting started. I stayed there for like maybe four or five years. Just in Florida or four or five years in rehab? I should have been in rehab the whole time, but no, I was bartending and out in Miami. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Living your truth.

I was in Florida. Yeah, exactly. Well, Florida will get you. It's, oh, whether you think it's going to get you or not it's disgusting. So disgusting. And you know what? You'll never meet somebody from Florida who won't disagree with you. They're like, no, it's trash. Yeah. Yeah. So my parents actually, it got really bad. And my parents were like, nope, you're coming back to Rhode Island. So I moved back up there. And then I was supposed to go out to California. for like two weeks to go on vacation, see a girlfriend who lived there. And everybody was like, you're not going back. And I was like, of course I am. Right. I just went out there and I never left.

Wow. Yeah. And then I was like still drinking, using really, really bad though, like seizures all the time, hardcore, like drugs. And yeah, and then I got sober five and a half years ago. Wow, good for you. Congratulations. Yeah. Thank you. Wow. That's intense. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, God, social media, like, Could you imagine if you were on social media while you were doing this? No. I mean, I still have access to my old Instagram account. I got back in from like when I was doing all of that. It's very depressing.

Like very dark. But if you go back, like it was all, I mean, it's so obvious. It's like this girl is like a gnarly drug addict, like everything. But yeah, if it was around when I was younger and just like to see everybody, it's airbrushed and every, like to be a teenager. And I don't know. I saw this one account today. there's like a pre it's like a tween influencer she's like 10 or 11 so her mom runs her account no and there's a picture of her like yeah there's a picture of her and like workout clothes like in like the

influencer thoughty pose right and the caption is something like um we're perfectly imperfect she has fat over her leggings yeah and then her mom is like I just love how she's showing that um a little bit of fat can be normal or something like that like just some rows of rose I hate it. I hate it. I was like, this girl is like 11 or 11 years old. And it's like it's called baby fat actually. Exactly.

It's called like a child's body. Like what the fuck? Like it was just so, oh my God. And then all the other pictures she's in like trying to recreate like adult influencer poses like in the bikinis and with her girlfriend. And I'm like this is for pedophiles. Yeah. Like other tweens aren't looking at this because they're not on social media.

This is for for some guy named Ronnie who lives in Kansas City. Yeah. like being a crete. Yeah, exactly. I mean, I was back at, I went to the University of Mississippi, and I was back visiting. And so, you know, I got on the Instagram, like, I did a hashtag like, you know, Oxford Mississippi. And so all these, like, the sorority girls popped up. I was in my sorority, loved it, did the whole thing.

But when I was in college, I put on, like, 45 pounds and, like, wore, like, Palazzo pants and was just like a hot mess. You know what I mean? Yeah. I wasn't wearing midrifts. And so I started looking at, like, the sorority girls now. And I'm like, we would never be caught dead in this shit. No. I mean, I would literally, like, there wasn't an option to wear, like, literally where

you're, basically your labia is hanging out of your jean shorts. Yeah, I know. And if I had to have that pressure to be thin then and to look a certain way, forget it. Right. I thought I was hot shit and I was truly, like, had seven chins and no eyebrows. My eyebrows, I need to go back to college and figure out where, who's, who's hiding my eyebrows. They were just gone.

Oh, my God. At least they grew back, though. They did. They grew back. I'm working right now. I can't. Yeah. Not microbladed.

I will tell you that 100% me. Wow. Yeah. Okay. Okay, I just got microbladed. But yours are good. Yeah, yeah. I have to go back for my next appointment.

Well, they look real. Thank you. Thank you. They look great. We were just having this convo with Sarah. We were like, everything we do is to be as low maintenance as possible. You can cut my face open and Botox me and fill me and put lashes on and do the tinting and it's all so that I can. Wake up.

And anytime, like I say, I'm going to go do something, if I'm like, oh, I got Botax, my husband is a different. generation. I will say that. Everybody knows. But he is like, he hates it and he's like, but you're such a natural beauty. And I'm like, there is not one natural thing left on me. Well, my boobs are natural. But he doesn't get it. Right. I'm like, this is not natural. I'm naturally unnatural. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything. Right. Yeah, naturally unnatural. I like it. What is Jeff thing? Jeff is, he always says, I tell him like as soon as we have like pop out two kids, like I'm doing the mommy makeover. I mean, my two. I mean, my two.

It's already down in my knees. Like, if I sneeze hard, I'm going to trip over them. It's all the thing. That's why I don't run because it's just too much shit hitting me in the face. He's like, do whatever makes you feel comfortable. But he said, don't mess with your face until you're like in your 40s. And we like, you know, we really got shit. Draggy.

Heavy lifting. Right. Well, so the interesting thing is, so I'm going to put Jeff on blast for a minute, but he's very particular about his hair because he was balding and then started getting on, you know, those hair pills that they, you know, everybody gets on. So I was just getting baby Botox by my, my little. boy Dr. Nelson Castillo in Atlanta and he said Jeff you have really great hair and Jeff's like yeah it was thinning and got on these pills he said well listen whatever you do just so you know if you

guys want to get pregnant you have to quit those pills like nine months before 100% your baby's gonna have like a horse hoof growing out of its head oh my god so Jeff lipidamins yeah no it's not vitamins oh it's like an actual like propitia or one of those hair restoration pills so Jeff was like huffin and puff and he's like are you kidding me I got to lose my hair so that we can have like a thinking, I was like, yes, Jeff, it's not always about you right now. But I also... He wants to adopt. Yes, no, literally.

But I also didn't realize, like, how detrimental that kind of stuff is. Yeah. And so my doctor was like, yeah, you got to be so careful on that. I feel like all of these things that we're all doing are going to have ramifications. Oh, I mean, yeah, I'm putting botulism in my head. Yes, of course. Yeah. Have you heard of threading?

Like, facial threading? Is that where they actually like... Video threads, threadlift, yeah. Does that work? So, okay, so I know two. people that have gotten it. Right. And the one person who I know who got it a year ago loves it. And then my girlfriend just got it last week. But yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Well, you don't need anything else. You're beautiful. They told me that I need it. And I was like,

oh, okay. Who told you? That's living in L.A. though. Okay. That's insane. You don't need it. Thank you. You're stunning. Thank you. Here's is what I will tell you. My, I have a fuller face, right? I'm like probably 25 pounds heavier than I usually am. but I will say my doctor said listen Heather you'd see that your face or your ass you either have a good face forever and you have a little bit more collagen a little bit more fat or you have a complete you have a skinny body like it's one or the other right so right now I'm kind of like holding on to that baby fat because I have good collagen yeah yeah yeah because it depletes yeah it depletes and that was so with the threads they put it it's for people I think that are more like sunken in or that have like lifting

because they they sew the inside of your face which just it's weird I can get surgery I can get needles, all of that, but like the thread, the idea of having, like, a thread suspended inside my face. No, that's terrifying. Yeah, but then it dissolves and then you, I guess your body, like, it's stimulated to build more collagen around it. But my plastic surgeon, who does a lot of facelifts, said that he's opened people up to do facelifts where they've gotten threads and it's all scar tissue. Oh, yeah, I believe it.

So I'm like, oh. No, don't do it. That's out. Also, no, you're beautiful. Thank you. I don't think you need it. But, yeah, yeah, later. Things fall.

But here's the thing. In whatever 10 years that you want to get something like a little nip and tuck, think about where the technology is going to be. True. That is a very good point. So just keep that in mind. Wow. Inspiring.

Right? I'm trying to be. So inspiring. So are you doing anything for the wedding? Are you doing like any beauty stuff or like? Well, you know, so we're getting married in September of 2020. So I'm over a year. And I'm truly, I'm at, I had all these hormone problems.

Actually, after my dad passed. my body like shut down even though emotionally I was fine dealing with it I didn't realize I've learned so much about like the mind-body connection my hormones went fucking crazy I had adrenal fatigue I put on it all this weight like I have been to a nutritionist a hormone specials all these people but they were like until your body learned to relax and I was always basically waking up like in fight or flight so it's been really hard for me right now because I'm probably I said 25 I'm really probably 35 pounds I'm the heaviest I've ever been and it's really hard for me right now and it's really hard for me right now and because no matter what I do, I can't take off the weight. So I kind of had to say, I mean, I'm usually a healthy for me. It's like 180. That's great. I'm 5'9. That's perfect.

I'm 215 right now. So I don't know. Do the math. It's more than I should be. But I just can't fit in my clothes. I'll never be tiny. I just want to be the best version of myself. So I said really had to take a look in the mirror and say, listen, you've got to

cool your jets. Take a second and just relax. Because until your body relaxes, you're just holding on to all the stress. Yeah. So it's been really eye-opening for me to have to kind of pump the brakes. Usually when I got to get in shape for a roll or something, I'm just like, okay, I know what I have to do. Don't eat carbs. Go to the gym a thousand times a day.

And my doctors are like, quit doing everything. And so that's been really hard for me to just let go of the reins and let my body have time to heal. You don't do that enough. No, it's so important. And I went like this because I was telling her this morning. I'm like, I am 24-7 in fighter flight mode. And for me, I've been working with somebody, like I have other issues. I have hormone issues really bad.

Yeah. And gut issues, which I've gotten better, but it's because of old trauma. Yes. Old, like a major big T trauma that I never really dealt with. I started working on it in therapy, and all of a sudden, it's like, it's like the subconscious thing. It's fascinating. And it's like if I work out, I just feel like shit and I get really tired because of the adrenals.

And it's like your body is working so hard to keep things. To protect it. Yeah. Exactly. Oh, I would lead the gym. and I'd feel like I had the flu. Yeah. I'm like, why am I so tired?

Exercise should energize you. Yeah. And so I'm on all these supplements. I'm seeing a great doctor at Stat Wellness. Kristen, she's incredible. She's out of Atlanta. I saw a bunch of really expensive specialists, and this was finally the one person who fully got it.

She was like, until you heal everything, it's a full mind-body connect. Yeah. So it's been really challenging for me. I mean, about a year after my dad passed, all of my hair fell out. just like chunks of it. It's starting to grow back, but I used to have like luscious locks.

Hair started falling out. I mean, it was crazy. Cistic acne. I just got ovarian cyst, and it was all because my hormones were freaking out. Yeah. Have you ever had a cyst? Yes. Ovarian cysts.

I have to have it removed, laparoscopic. I didn't have to have that. I haven't have mine taken out. I mean, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. It's brutal. I thought I was dying. Yeah. Mine burst, and then finally I had, I know.

That's really bad. It was awful. And I didn't realize what a tough cookie I was because other girlfriends were like, oh, I ended up in the ER. I was like, no, I just, I let it ride. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's like, you can get, you can die from that, right? Because whatever's in the actual, I had a dermoid.

So mine was like hair and teeth. Oh, so it was like an actual like baby human. Yeah, yeah. A little, not a baby. I don't want to say that, but it was like an actual like. Yeah. It was like a little grimlin. I didn't know that about you.

Yeah. Yeah. And when I came out of surgery. I was so out of it. And they handed me these pictures of the cyst and of my insides clamped down. And I was sending them to everyone I knew. And I was like, new profile pick. And they were like, can you not?

Right. Right. See that. Yeah. Yeah. But it's painful. It was a cruel. It's crazy pain.

I finally got back on birth control, which I didn't want to do. And I was like, listen, if I can just get on that through my wedding so that I don't, because usually birth control or having a baby helps get rid of the cis. Yeah. I was like, I'll do it. Yeah. I mean, I'm really trying to be anti-medicine, like only, you know, holistic, but. I'm at the same exact place right now.

Yeah. I'm doing with the acne and all the issues, and I'm like, I think it's just time to squash it right now. Yeah. I don't know. I feel you. I mean, I went back on it kicking and screaming, but finally my last cycle. I really hope it's mostly ladies who listen to this. Yeah.

But my last cycle was so bad with the cyst. I mean, I'm an apple shape. I'm bigger in the middle of tiny little legs. But literally, I looked seven months pregnant. because my abdomen was so inflamed and swollen. And even though the cyst was only, you know, the tip of like an eraser. Right. It literally was so inflamed.

And like, did you have gut issues? Oh, yeah. So I'm on like a medical grade probiotic. Yeah. I'm also on this medicine. I don't know the name of it and I can find out. But my holistic doctor basically put me in an anti-cancer medicine. Oh.

So I'm on this really intense anti-inflammatory. She's like, Heather, you were so inflamed. It's unbelievable. Wow. Yeah. Is it working? Yeah. I'm on it.

I've been on it for like a month now. I am feeling less, I'm definitely less swollen. My thing is, it's just like I had to really take a minute and say, I got to fix everything. It's not just about losing weight. Yeah. My hair's falling out. What are we going to do? Yeah.

That's not. So, I mean, hormones, it's really wild, too, as a woman, because I still have normal periods. Even with the cyst, I had a three-day, easy period. No big deal. But I'm like, why do I feel like I'm dying? Yeah. Yeah, it's hard. And there's no easy solution.

No, and every woman, not all hormones are the same. Right. So you have some time, though. But then the added stress of the wedding, are you stressed about it? Or are you like? No, I'm not. I actually jumped the gun pretty quick and went to, we're getting married in Tuscany, which I'm so excited about. I knew where I wanted to get married.

So we went. We looked at a bunch of places, got that ball rolling. So now I kind of have some time, which is nice. But I'm sure, Jeff and I both joke. We're the kind of people where we work really well into pressure. So it'll probably be like two months out. and then we just like literally lose our minds and like get in shape. Yeah.

But we have a year. It's, it's too long. I need to be in a pressure cooker. Like, let's go. I don't know how people. So my husband and I were engaged for a year. Right.

And I never thought that I was much of like a planner. And then I met him. And he is like so last minute. Like he'll decide to go to Africa like next week. Right. He's like, I don't want to go on vacation. I don't want to go.

And then he decides and then it happens. Right. So I was trying to push him about the wedding. And it was just, it was not being met with. with anything, you know, it's not sexy. Right. So I let it go.

And then he was like, okay, let's get married Labor Day. This is in August of last year. And we got married here, but we were in L.A., but I got an amazing planner. So we were only planning for like a month. And that was like enough. Like, I don't know how, because I feel like you would just change your mind and like change your mind on the invitations and the dress and that's how I am. Like I feel like it would be.

Oh, I'm all over the place. To drag it out. Yeah. Yeah. And Jeff is a Virgo and he is very. has a plan has an Excel spreadsheet and Pisces. So, you know, I'm, yeah, girl, what's your birthday? I'm a Capricorn, but I'm most compatible with Pisces.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, we're Dreamers. Like, actually in my, like, horoscope breakdown, it says, like, terrible with money. Like, 100%. I'm like, Dreamer, fly by the seat of my pants. So I'm like your husband. I'm just like, great, let's do it on a whim. So the fact that I'm, like, a year ahead of the game, I'm actually quite impressed

with myself. Yeah. But I kind of had a premonition that life was going to get busy. So I said, let me go ahead and hold the venue. And fuck, thank God, I did. You get out to Italy and you're like, I'm two years out. And they were like, good luck. We have nothing available.

So I got the place that I wanted. But I just kind of depict that. And then it'll all fall into place. And I have a great wedding planner. Thank God. It'll be amazing, I'm sure. So, yeah. So, yeah, you are crazy busy.

What do you have going on now? You have a new podcast, which I binged in a day walking around the city and I looked like a crazy person because I was laughing hysterically like to myself. But I guess I fit right in. I, you're true. It's so good. Thank you. And yeah, it's the absolutely not podcast.

We have a hotline where people can call in. It's just a safe space for, you know, ladies to bitch. There's a lot going on in the world. We don't always have to keep it rosy. If you see something out in the world, you've observed an absolutely not. You can call in. We'll dissect it. Or if you have an absolutely yes, something positive you want to talk about.

Colin, let's discuss. I really just want it to be an engaged podcast. Yeah. No, it's so good. I love it. Oh, great. I love that. So who do you, is there anybody that you absolutely,

do like right now like any podcasts anybody that you're following yeah so my favorite right now is actually Theo Vaughn it's called this past weekend I never listened to it's so great I hear it's good though yeah he has my sense of humor but he's very goofy giggly

his stream of consciousness just his word vomit is so brilliant he's a fellow southerner I just really love his podcast but I mean he talks about some like wild stuff but he's really my favorite right now I could listen to him all day Who do you follow on Instagram that you like?

God, I have so many. The funny thing is it's actually like, even though I'm not really like a wellness, it's, it's, I enjoy following people who like tell me how to fix my life. Right. Really? That's interesting. Yeah. I'm trying to think like comedian-wise. Oh, there's so many.

There's so many. I mean, I'm buddies with my Benito Skinner, Benny Drama. He's great. Yeah. It's my favorite. Yeah, everything he makes. And he's so genuine and so cool in real life. A millennial intern.

He's so great. It's the fucking funniest thing. Right. Wasn't it Generation Z? Yeah. Generation Z. Yeah. Yeah.

He's great. And he is just who he is on camera, like in person. He's fantastic. And I used to do sketches and characters and all that. And I kind of pumped the brakes on that because I got so burnt out. And now I'm like, all right, I'll throw a wig on every now and then. Like when Benny calls me, he's like, hey, I need you be eye in a garden. Can you, you know, be the bare fucking desert?

Your eye is the funniest thing I've ever seen. Well, it was terrifying how much I look like her. Oh, my God. Put on that wig. I am the bear fucking Tessa. Have you seen, Kennedy? Is it on... It's on Instagram.

Yeah, so he and I did something... Yeah, but I have... I have not seen... I need to watch it. It's far back, because I don't post a lot of characters. We'll pull that. I went way back. Yeah, I love that.

I was entertained. I'm like, way back in the archive. So what are you doing health and wellness-wise? Are you obsessed with something? Like, can you just like scan me and fix me? God, I'm like the worst person about health and wellness right now because I'm not really doing anything. Okay.

Like, I got to a point last year where, like I was saying, hormones were out of control, stress was out of control, and it's not like external stress. Like it is from work and stuff like that, but it's mostly like stuff that I'm dealing with internally. Right. So I like stopped working out. Right. And I was like healing my gut. So I was gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free.

Oh, I may do these cookies, by the way, that are gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free. Can I have one now? Yes. Is that tacky to eat on camera? No, no. They've been away from me that I've had like seven. They may have melted a little bit. Wait a minute.

What are they made at? Oh, my God. And they're soft. They're almond flour, cashew butter, maple syrup, apples sauce. Oh, my lot. Are you being serious? I swear to God.

Chocolate chip cookies. I call them my air cookies because I'm like, they're basically air. They're gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free, vegan. I'm trying not to chew on the mic, but. That's like a popular thing right now, right? Oh, yeah. So we do that? What is it called when people eat in front of?

of muck bang muck bang i don't know i'm not i don't know but i'm not i don't know but i was reading don't know it's weird read some article in the new york times about some woman who lives here i think like in the bronx or i don't even know did you read this i haven't read the article but how much money does she make millions millions we're doing it wrong yeah i bet we would be verified and making millions if we just ate some weird food in front of a camera where they're like like there's this one girl and she literally like eats weird objects like soap and stuff. No, I'm not into that.

And she makes millions too. That's what she does for a living. She eats soap on camera. Yeah, some people are into that. You have to give me this recipe. I will. I'm a sweet treat freak. Okay. I have to have a cookie. Cookies are my favorite thing in the entire world. I don't mess with a cupcake. No, no. Cookies. I want a really good chocolate cookie. This is fantastic. I'm just not going to gross everybody out by smackin. I'll send you the recipe. Yeah. Please do.

I never had a sweet tooth and my husband has the worst, not worst, the biggest sweet tooth ever. And so I started, I caught on and I got it. Do you have any marriage advice for me? Because I'm living with Jeff for the first time. We've been together eight years and we're living together for the first time now. Can you believe that? Because we're long distance. That's crazy.

I mean, that keeps the flame alive, I would imagine. It does. People are always like, how do you do long distance? I'm like, honestly, it's great. That would be part of my advice. It's like from the beginning of my relationship, I've always made it a point to leave. Good, smart. And have your own thing going on, which you do.

Right. You're doing everything. So I still, you know, I just, I don't think anybody wants to be smothered. So, like, yeah, maintaining your independence, make them miss you, leave. I don't know. I've only been married for like nine months. So I don't know. That's great advice.

I mean, when I am busy, I think that's what's healthy. Jeff and I have totally opposite schedules. So when we come together, it's like we actually want to hang out with each other. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, and travel and have, like, shared experience. experiences that you can have. Right. Like, you know.

Did you have a proper honeymoon? So we didn't, no, because we got married in New York in September, and then we, he had to fly right back for work. Right. They were shooting. So we went to Turks and Kekos in December. You know, Turks and Kekos is my favorite place. I know it's your favorite place.

We stayed at Amoniar. Yes. Okay. She stayed at Aminjara, but I think everybody should say at Waimara, which is my favorite place in the world. Yeah, we didn't, we weren't like that impressed. So we went to this place called Lucala. Okay.

It's owned by the guy who owns Red Bull. We went there the year before in December, and that's like full-blown private island. Right. Crazy. So we went to Amoniar and we were like, eh, and like the service. It just wasn't the best. Well, here's the thing with Aminiar. It's too quiet over there.

Yeah, it's so quiet. So I say when you go to the Turks, the Turks to me is the most beautiful place in the world. I like Weimarra the resort. I've been going there since they opened. And it's just, it's the luxury. It's the service, but it's also like you're, it's not so quiet that you feel uncomfortable. is like being above a whisper at breakfast. All my friends who go to Aminjar are like, great, it's an arm and a leg and you're out there,

but you're literally out on like an inlet and you don't see anybody and you feel like you can't like have a good time. Yeah. So definitely check out Weimar Resort. It's unbelievable. But I love the Turks. Turks is like my favorite place. So beautiful.

But I feel like for honeymoon too, yeah, if you want to really have that moment where you're in a bungalow over the ocean by yourself, I'm into that. Yeah. But, you know, I think, I mean, we're not really like go lie on a beach kind of people. Like the best vacations that we've taken I like to mix it up a little bit But we did like a bike trip in Vietnam That was like amazing

And yeah It was crazy We went from like the north to the south And like a bunch of different stops We flew to different places And we went to an island there That was like It was incredible

So we did that And we went to Africa last year And did a safari That's something I want to do Those are the kind of things That at least he and I like Because it's like Doing something totally different

And like having this crazy experience But, yeah, but a beach is always nice. I mean... I think that's my goal, is to do a safari and get Jeff's a little bit of a creature comfort kind of guy. So I have to get him out of his safety zone. And he's super adventurous and loves to travel. But I don't know if he just... Whatever he did in a previous life to a flight attendant, I don't know if it's just like karma coming back.

He's so polite. You know me. You follow me. I'm very big on etiquette on an airplane. My whole family was in the airline biz. But for some reason, Jeff always loses his luggage. his flights always get delayed there's something that just goes wrong it's a shit show traveling with him so I'm like I don't know what you did in a previous life to get bad karma

when it comes to travel oh my god and the last thing you want to do is like be stuck in Africa like exactly nothing right right that actually happened to us we stopped in Dubai and we didn't have our bags and we were like oh and we were going to Kenya the next day so what did you do like brutal we found them we found them okay but and then flying back it was 26 hours straight so it's like a it's a yeah tedious yeah yeah yeah so So I want to get to some listener questions. Great. See if anyone had anything good.

For the most part, people were just like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Also, you're so easy to chat with. Me? Yes, you have a great cadence to your voice. Thank you. Everyone tells me I'm monotone. So take that, reviewers.

Yeah. But you know what it is? It's calming. Yeah. I'm a lot. I know I'm a lot to deal with. But it's very, very calming. Thank you.

You should get into ASMR. I don't, yeah, maybe. also these cookies are fire did you hear a kiss in the microphone I'm like if that the noise oh you have to whisper okay got it I don't think any of the women who are listening to this

I don't know bring it back up yeah if there's crystal meth in these these are the best I'm not blowing smoke up your ass I'm being legit imagine working for her there are cookies everywhere all the time so good and I'm completely

about a problem that's not a problem, but like I eat them constantly. Wow. Thank you. Thank you. Okay. How can we get you on SNL? Do you hear that all the time? Yes. And I'm so embarrassed. My high school year, but quote, for senior year was live from New York at Saturday night. Because that's always been the dream. It's going to happen. And that's going to be like such like such a full circle moment. Well, you know what I said? Now I want to host. I don't need to be regular cast. I'll just host. Yeah. And I'll make my dreams. Yeah, yeah.

No, no, I thought I was a good at a cast member. But now I'm realizing, you know, maybe my comedy career is taking a little bit of a different path. So I just, as long as I can host and say I did it, I'll be happy. I like that you're like, go with the flow. But also, I don't know if you listen to Conan O'Brien's podcast. Of course. Conan is everything to me. It's my favorite podcast in the world.

It has to be twice a week because I can't just deal with just Monday. Like it's not enough. And he has a lot of S&L people. And they all make it sound like pretty. brutal. It is brutal. Really brutal. I did a move with Kate McKinnon two years ago and she was like, yeah, I mean, she was just like, it's a lot. Yeah. I mean, she won two Emmys for SNL. Right. And she showed up straight from shooting SNL and she just looked tired. She's the best. And she was like, yeah, we work a lot, you know.

Yeah. And then they like go out after and it's just like a whole thing. So I love that you love Conan. And I'll tell you why. That's why you've probably been engaged with me because whenever people, Whenever I talk to it, be like, what's her humor like? I always say I'm like, if Joan Rivers and Conan O'Brien had a baby. Yes. I used to stay up when I was little. And literally when I was sixth grade and I would take a nap right when I came home from school so I could stay up late to watch Conan. Yeah, me too.

Conan is my end-all be-all. Me too. Yeah. I mean, I'm not a comedian. But I did the same thing. He's not my end-all be-all, but he's amazing. And I remember like, yeah, being younger when I had that little TV with the built-in VCR. Oh, yeah.

And staying up, it was so good. It's amazing. He's our neighbor, by the way. So part of me, when we first got our dog, Harvey, I was walking him one morning and this Tesla drives up, like slows down next to me, tinted windows. And I was like, who is this creep? Right. It's like, seven in the morning.

He rolls down the window and it's Conan. And I was like, oh, my God. And he was like, who is this? I said, this is Harvey. And he was like, I'm going to be thinking of Harvey all day. And I told my husband and he's like, I'm texting him right now. Does he know that you're my bo-b-b-b-but-bye? He's not going to be thinking of Harvey.

He's thinking. I'm like Chuck, calm down. He texted him. He never responded. But I want to just, I'm like, do they record the, I thought they recorded the podcast at his house. But they don't. They recorded it at Warner Brothers, I think, or wherever he records. Listen, we know a couple people.

Let's just figure out how to get on there. I want Chuck to go on there. Yeah, I think they should do get out over. You should go on. Well, I'm not. If I got to meet Conan, I went to a taping of a show in high school once. If I got to meet him, I always said, like, the only late night show I'd ever care about really doing would be going on Conan.

Yeah. That's, I mean, he's my dream. So funny. Oh, my God. He's very self-deprecate. The next time you're in L.A. We'll just come over and bake some cookies. Hell yes.

To get my dog and show up. I love it. I'm so down for this. Oh, my God. Okay. Do you deal with negative people or negative thoughts? Oh, yeah. Everybody does.

How? How? Right, right. Just how depressed are you? Well, on a scale of one, to just fully, jumping off a bridge. No. You know, here's my thing. I get asked a lot by young girls are like, how do you have confidence? I said, listen, at the end of the day, you have to like yourself. And I also am in an industry where I'm the first person to make fun of myself. So for me,

nobody can say anything to me that I haven't already thought, right? Or like my own mother hasn't said to me, right? Right. So, yeah, we all have negative thoughts. But at the end of the day, it's like, who gives a shit? Right? Yeah. You don't like me? fine I don't like you we're not each other's cup of tea move on the world is big enough for everybody there's space for everybody you know negative thoughts I definitely

I've never really been a sad person I really genuinely think I'm just kind of a glass half full kind of gal always felt that way and after I lost after I lost my dad I was in such a dark place but I realized it was situational depression so but I was like okay my dad taught me you can't control what happens to you in your life

you can only control your attitude and that is something I try take with me that's my motto every day all right something shitty just happened i can't fix it in the moment but i can't fix how i'm going to react to it so i live by that i love that it's so wise and you kind of i feel like a lot of comedians are kind of cynical yeah that's like a stereotype but i don't get that from you at all like i always always in the few months that i'm following you it feels like it's been forever um don't worry my my tits are just fully out of my struggle right now you you just kind of like emanate positivity.

Well, I love that. I mean, all of comedy is like observing things and then breaking them apart, right? And I've been kind of doing a negative rant about New York. But it's, but whenever I'm negative, I think it still comes from a joyful place. Yeah. You know, it's not like, I know, I don't really gravitate towards super, super, super, super dark negative comics. I just don't. I like to giggle, you know?

Life is short. We all need it right now. We do. I mean, God. Life is so short, you know. And if I can be an outlet for somebody or I really truly don't take myself too seriously. And God keeps me humble. The moment I think like, you know, I'm making it.

Like things are happening. I swear to God, I was headed to a meeting in LA. Month ago, got in the Uber, was like, girl, you're fucking doing it. You look so hot. Split my jeans. Split my jeans getting in the Uber. Didn't have. I literally was like, what do I do?

What did you do? Well, I had to run back in. I had the guy to circle the block. Oh my God. And then I had to run back in and change. And I was late for a meeting. And I was panicked and embarrassed. Just, you know.

But it worked out, I'm sure. It worked out. Yeah. Have they called me back? I don't know. I need to follow up on that. I'm going through that same thing, but in the influencer industry, which is, I mean, I guess it's just another aspect of the entertainment industry now. It's brutal. It is brutal. But you know what's interesting, the power that you have. Yeah. People are moving away from the traditional, oh, I just got to get a celebrity to hawk a product. Because you know what? If you use it, you use it and you're honest about it. We're the new wave of marketing. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That brings me to my last question. Yeah.

Somebody asked, if I can pull this up, what are your favorite products right now? Oh, let's talk about it. So I'm obsessed with Megababe. It's an all-natural deodorant that actually works. I have it on right now. When my dad passed of cancer, I started to do a lot of research, and it was alarming the connection between, like, breast cancer and the aluminum that you have in your deodorant. Yeah. So I love all.

Katie Sterino is the founder of Megababe. all of her products are top quality unbelievable. I have thighs at touch. I use her thigh rescue stick. You just put a little on both sides of your thighs and the summer under a dress. You're not going to like have literal flames coming from your crotch because your legs are rubbing together.

I also use her bust dust, so it's all under the Megababe label, which is just a powder that you can put on your boobs, but it's talc-free, paraben-free, because I have huge tits, they sweat. So these are like my go-toes. I use all the Megabay products. I'm really into CBD. Okay. It's kind of changed my life.

I love CB distillery. It's one of those companies that I found early on, again, right after my dad passed. I couldn't sleep. I was up. I was stressed. I was sweating. CBD is calms me down, takes away the anxiety, but I don't feel like I'm on any sort of sedative. Can't take sleeping pills.

Can't even take melatonin. It's not for me. So CBD is kind of something that I take every day. That's the one thing. Like, it's just, I think it's like a slippery slope. Right. Sobriety. Yeah.

Oh yeah, I don't think it's technically like it's not it's not what's it called psychoactive. Right. But I can't, I just won't do it. And I wish I could. I don't blame you. it is. It just calm me down. But I don't at, and I'm very sensitive, I have a very sensitive central nervous system. Like I'm so anti-drugs because if I like take a hit of weed, I'm literally like, you know, take my clothes off walking down through Times Square. That's how I am too. I never like drugs And I get super like edgy and whatever

Right But I did cocaine all the time And Adderall Which is crazy And Zanax So I mean listen I have a drawer I call a drawer a roulette You know you wake up every day

You take a you know Whatever's in your bedside drawer And you see if it's gonna be an up or a down Or what day is gonna take you Love it I was never good I didn't enjoy coke Yeah

And Adderall I mean I could only if I I would have to drink the right amount To like level out Right And I have friends that can still do it And that's great If you can do it

And not wake up or not be up five days later, you know. But listen, they can't. Yeah. I mean, when we go out, especially, it's really big in LA. I mean, it's big in New York. When I go out and everybody is cook, I'm like, listen, live your truth. I just, it's never been my thing. Yeah. You know, because I literally already talk people's ears off. The last thing I need to be doing is jawing in the corner. Right. Yeah. You can usually tell and it's like not attractive either. Right. Like, come on. Or like when you're out with a girlfriend and her nose is actually running. Oh, yeah.

And you're like, okay. Lindsay, you good? You good? Yeah, I can't. Yeah, we didn't even get into Lindsay and Brittany and all that. I think that's self-explanatory. People are very upset. They're like, Heather, you need to be commenting on Brittany. I'm like, honey, I put the facts out there and I just want you to sit back and absorb it like a sponge. She's letting us know what she needs and wants.

And I think we just have to let her have her time to come to us. Yeah. Or just go somewhere and go away and have a normal life. Yeah, I want her to have a normal life. And I think she'll eventually get there. But I think it's all. out there for us to see. Yeah. And I wish you the best. There we go. All right. Well, where can everybody find you? Find me on Instagram at Heather Kaye-like Kardashian McMahon. And then my podcast is the

absolutely not podcast. And stay tuned because I'm going to be doing a tour this fall and into next year. So stay tuned for dates. Yay. Coming to a city near you. Thanks for having me. Thank you so much for coming. You're the best. I hope you enjoyed that conversation as much as I enjoyed having it. as always, thank you so much for tuning in. Please, if you haven't already, or if you feel compelled to do it again, rate, review, subscribe, share with your friends, co-workers, family, share it on social media, you know, do all the things. I really appreciate it, and I'll be back next week.