Well with Arielle Lorre - 174: Solo Q&A: How I Deal with Comparison & Expectations, Daily Non-Negotiables, Feel Good Tips and more!

Episode Date: May 25, 2022

In this solo episode, I'm taking listener questions about dealing with expectations of others and comparison; whether I've had body work done; my daily non-negotiables and feel good tips; surgeon recommendations; diet and how I healed my gut issues; my number one anti-aging tip; and my advice on dealing with alcoholics in your inner circle.   Sponsors: Framebridge.com code BLONDE for 15% off Thirdlove.com/blonde for 20% off Betterhelp.com/files for 10% off your first months Ritual.com/BLONDE for 10% your first 3 months   Produced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. Hey, welcome to the Blonde Files podcast. I'm your host, Ariel Lorry, and I'm here to talk all things, wellness. From how to achieve optimal health and well-being to the best beauty tips and everything in between, no topic is off limits, and I'm bringing it to you real and unfiltered. I know there is so much information out there, so I'm here to help you navigate it all. Thanks for listening. Let's get into it. Hi everybody. Welcome to the show. I haven't done a solo in a while. So I figured we would catch up. I'll answer your questions and just see where this goes. I feel like when I have you guys sending questions on Instagram, I'm starting to feel like I'm seeing a lot of repeat ones. So hopefully I cover something new in this episode. It's always kind of a surprise to me what's going to come out. So let's just see where to start.

I guess I guess I'll start just with some podcast related things since I have you. The podcast has kind of exploded growth-wise this year, which is very exciting. And I'm so happy to see you guys posting and sharing. And obviously that's how it grows. However, there's like no reviews. I mean, there are, but compared to how many people listen, it's such a small fraction. And they've basically just not increased over the last year or so. So, it's a lot. So, if you haven't left a review, please do. It's just one of those annoying things that actually does help just a little housekeeping here before we start. And honestly, I will admit that I don't really read the reviews anymore because sometimes people are just total assholes and I just don't really

need that in my head when I'm doing my show. But I do see like a roundup when I have quarterly meetings with Dear Media. And occasionally, I will check. So if you do leave a really nice review, just know that I appreciate it. And if you leave a shitty review, I'm probably not going to read it. But yeah, so the majority of the ones that I have seen are very nice. I will say, I didn't look the other day for the first time, like all year. And I saw one that was about the episode with Entie. That was like, wow, I admired you until you defended Arm. Hammer unsubscribe. So I will just address that here, not to like give it more energy, but I actually did consider cutting that part out of that episode because of how it sounded.

However, I left it in because I felt like me repeating what somebody told me is not me defending Army Hammer. It's literally just repeating information. And I said in the episode, I have no idea. It's just what I was told. So let's just take a collective pause. here. I feel like repeating information that may or may not be true is not defending somebody. So this reviewer said she unsubscribed anyway, so I'm sure she's not even listening. But if anyone else interpreted it that way, there you go. And that episode actually did really well, though, I think, at least from the feedback that I saw on Instagram, it seemed like people loved the Hollywood tea and gossip. And a lot of people have asked for more NT. So I've been talking to him

about doing more or doing something together kind of regularly. So let me know what you think. Obviously, this won't become like a gossip podcast, but I feel like once in a while it's kind of good respite from more of the serious stuff and a lot of the stuff that's going on in the world. And I really enjoyed recording that episode, but it's funny because I feel like there's so much I have seen just being like Hollywood adjacent from being married to Chuck, but I would never talk about it. So when Entie was talking about crowdsourced gossip and gossip people get from just being on the periphery and how that is actually pretty accurate, you really do see and hear so much just being around it. And there have been so many times that I've seen things publish. And I'm like,

that is so false. So I don't know. I'm kind of going off on a tangent now and I'm probably being kind of vague, but people message me a lot asking for me to talk about it on my podcast, but I just wouldn't cross that line because the things that I see and hear usually have to do with people in Chuck's world, and it's just like a boundary thing. It would be like talking about your significant other's co-workers or something on a podcast, which would just be kind of weird. That's the only comparison I can really make. But I do like doing episodes about gossip and Hollywood and all of that. It's just kind of brain candy and light and mindless and we all need that sometimes. So yeah, let me know if you want more of those. Usually you can catch me in the Instagram, the podcast Instagram DMs.

I have a way higher likelihood of seeing a message there than in my own DMs. Okay. So I'm just going to take questions from Instagram. I feel like I said this gets kind of repetitive sometimes. I'll try to take some new ones or at least put on a new spin. Okay. One of the main questions I got over and over again was, how am I doing? So I'll start there. I think because I've alluded to going through some hard things this year, people are curious. And I'm really not trying to be vague or mysterious about it, but it was just relevant in some of those conversations where it did come up, especially around showing up on social media and how it's not the greatest representation of someone's life. So I'm

actually doing very well. I did a lot of work I feel like on myself and my life, like starting last fall through this winter. And there were some definitely some rough patches. But I'm in a good place right now. And I appreciate people asking. And again, like not to be vague, but that's probably all I'm going to say about that at this time. But let's see. Maybe I'll segue into this question about like dealing with comparison to others and other people's expectations about your life and your life timeline. So I really get this. I really understand the pressure and the comparison because as you probably know, I got sober in my late, mid to late-ish 20s and completely started my life over.

Like I'm talking, I had no friends, no money, no job, no job history, no degree, no car, no home, nothing. And I honestly think one of the reasons why I couldn't ask for help before I got sober aside from massive denial and a pretty astonishing level of delusion and shame around my addictions. all of that was because of this. Like at that point in my life, most of my peers who I grew up with and who I knew and even people I was hanging out with were in relationships, maybe starting to settle down, working. They were basically productive members of society. And I was the complete opposite. And I just kept thinking if I could only fix those external things and like get a job and be productive

and catch up to my peers and get the right relationship. and get the right car, all of that, I wouldn't be an alcoholic or an addict anymore. So I really had to just accept where I was in order to get sober and be like, okay, I'm starting from scratch here and that's okay. And I think that really helped me not compare myself to others. And also just like where someone is, timeline-wise really doesn't mean anything because somebody can get married at 28 and have a career and then get divorced and laid off at 35 and someone else can get married at 50 or get successful at 60. I mean, Chuck is a good example of this. So he, well, I mean, he started to get successful like around 35, 40. But his biggest

successes and like money and all of that came later in his life. So, that always, it's good for me to see that and be around that. It's a good reminder. And I feel like timelines are just so arbitrary. I feel like they're also just kind of antiquated. Like we're no longer living in a time where you get married at 21 and you have babies at 22 or whatever. Like this is the best time to explore and live life on your terms, not on society's terms, because that's changed and it's going to continue to change. And as for other people's expectations of you, that's a really tough one, especially if it's family, but hopefully the people in your life ultimately just want you to be happy and fulfilled and productive in whatever way that looks like

for you. And I think their expectations of you is probably their own shit for lack of a better word. So try to just pursue those things for yourself because it's your life, not theirs. And if you're doing things for other people, it's just going to lead to like so much disappointment and resentment. This podcast is supported by BetterHelp and BetterHelp is here to support your mental health. It is always a good time to do therapy. In my opinion, you don't have to wait for things to get bad in order to work through various challenges or just have an objective, neutral person in your life to help you navigate life. So BetterHelp is not a crisis line. It's not self-help. It is professional counseling done securely online. They have licensed professional counselors who are

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It's just super classic and chic. I also love gold, which is what I'm doing for my house, and they have so many different ones to choose from. So you can order online at framebridge.com or stop by a framebridge store to work with a designer in person if you're in New York, D.C., Atlanta, Philly, Boston, or Chicago. And again, you guys can get 15% off your first order at framebridge.com if you use my code blonde. I used to care so much about portraying a perfect life and acting like everything was okay when really things were far from it. I was secretly battling anxiety, depression, and an eating

disorder. So it was a lot. I'm Victoria Garrick, former division one athlete, mental health advocate, and host of RealPod. Every Wednesday, I sit down with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more to talk about the inner thoughts and feelings that we're all struggling with. So leave the filters and face tunes at the door and join me on RealPod. What do I think is the biggest waste of time? I think the biggest waste of time or wastes of time are living your life or doing things according to what other people think or their expectations, which I know is easier said than done, especially, again, if it's like familial pressure or something, but in general, doing something or more importantly, maybe not doing

something because you're worried about what other people will think. and conversely being over-concerned with what other people are doing and their lives and their decisions and all of that, that's just such a waste of time. That's time you cannot get back. I can't remember who said this. I think actually it was like the Buddha or something, but it really stuck with me. And that is that the biggest mistake people make is thinking that they have time. Like we all think that we have time, not to be morbid, but you have to really cherish your time and spend it wisely and follow your heart as cliches that sounds. And that quote like really lit a fire inside me and made me want to live my life exactly how I want to in a way that fulfills me,

even if I have to make hard decisions and face my fears and walk through pain and challenges and all of that because my biggest fear, and this is actually another quote, but I just saw, I'm just full of them today. But my biggest fear is a life unlived. So, or a life lived in a comfort zone or like lived safely without taking risks. So I personally think that just caring too much about what other people think about you or about your life decisions and also you caring too much about other people's lives and their decisions are just big, fat, wastes of time. Oh, someone asked for tips for not caring what other people think. I don't really have tips per se and I've talked about this on Instagram and in past episodes, but I think it's just a choice that you

have to make. And remember that people are generally maybe going to like think about you for a few seconds or a few minutes and then go back to obsessing about themselves. So just try not to let that dictate your life. Number one, feel good tip. Hmm. I think as far as like overall feeling good, I would have to say getting good sleep. I have not been sleeping well lately. or it kind of feels like it goes every other night. So one night I'll sleep well, I'll feel good. Then the next night I don't. And let me tell you how I feel and like who I am as a person is so dramatically different with eight hours of sleep versus like 6.5. It's kind of shocking. Like I can do 6.5 if like I'm not sleeping because it's, I don't know, for a good reason, like something exciting going on or whatever. Then it's kind of exhilarating. But normal life, It's just not the vibe. So with eight hours, I am calm, I'm serene, I'm optimistic, joyful, benevolent, all the good things. My appetite is normal. I'm productive. I'm social. I could go on. And then when I get less than seven, especially less than like six and a half,

I am not great. Like I can get through the day and I can handle my commitments, all of that, but I'm not going to be excited about it. So it's been kind of funny. to observe. But aside from that, if I just want to get like an instant boost, I'd have to say walking. And I don't even mean getting 10K, 12K steps, whatever, nothing like that. But even just walking around the block in between meetings or in the middle of the day, like taking a break from work, I like just getting outside for a few minutes early in the morning. That kind of helps to cleanse my mind a little before the day. And I know this is hard. but I love a silent walk. It's challenging because you want to throw on a podcast, put on music,

handle a phone call, whatever. But it really, if you can do it silent, even just for five or 10 minutes or whatever, it really awakens your senses and really helps you to be present. It's just an instant mood booster. You just notice like the sights and the sounds and the smells and I'm a very sensory person. So for me, like that's so calming. And someone asked for ways to pull yourself out of anxiety or bad mood. And like for me, this is it. When I had Dr. Samantha Bordman on the show last year, she was talking about how studies show that walking is an effective way to stop rumination. And my anxiety is usually related to like rumination, things that I have to do or something like that. So it really

helps to disrupt that. But I also think with anxiety and bad moods, sometimes you can pull yourself out. and sometimes you just need to let it run its course. It's like that saying, and I just can't believe how many quotes I have today, but what you resist persists. If I focus too much on trying to change a feeling or a mood, I'm focusing on that thing. I'm putting all my energy into that and it proliferates,

whereas if I just allow it to be, it'll pass. Okay, let's see. I'm recording this on a Saturday night, so my brain is a little, Funky. Top three tips that can be done at home for better health and wellness. Well, sleep is definitely one. And that also means good sleep hygiene. So getting off your phone at least an hour before bed or if that feels totally undoable, try 15 minutes and then go from there. I'm all about like taking manageable steps and setting yourself up for a win versus like

trying to do things that are so different from what you're doing that you're just going to end up, you know, failing or whatever. And then you're going to scrap the whole idea. But yeah, I would say getting off screens in general, having a good routine around bedtime is just huge, at least for me. I would say two is cooking. I have been ordering so much because things have been so crazy before taking off for the rest of the month. Or actually when this airs, I think I'll be in Italy. But I'm recording this right now, like right before I leave. And let me tell you, it has been absolutely insane getting all my content done before I go. Hence why I'm recording this podcast on a Saturday night. So I've been ordering a lot. And even when it's like, quote, healthy food, it's just still

not the same as home cooking. So cooking is a huge one. And I promise you'll notice a difference, not only because you can choose what ingredients you're using and all of that, but it's also something you can do that just helps you stay in the moment, stay off your phone, which is great at night if you're going to make dinner or something or in the morning, anytime, obviously. I think we all need that right now. And then three, I would say meditate, whatever that looks like for you. You don't have to do TM or meditate for 20 minutes or even five minutes, even if it's just two minutes. again, like manageable things, just anything. I've been super inconsistent with my meditation lately too.

And the difference between when I do it and when I don't is quite noticeable. So I still do my TM, but I've been doing this morning meditation from Joe Dispenza. And it completely changes my energy for the day. It's pretty wild. And it's really just at its core about like setting an intention. And you just focus on that. you focus on like a vision for the future is what he says. And he says, if you change your energy, you change your life. And I know some people love him. I know some people think he's kind of a quack.

I'm completely neutral because I don't really know anything about him. But I really like this meditation. So you can just search Joe Dispenza, morning meditation on Spotify. It's like 24 minutes long. So it's a little bit long. But if you can do it, definitely try. It's guided. And it's been pretty crazy. for me. Like the things that happen and the way that I feel when I do it is just kind of wild. So I just think any kind of stillness and quiet that you can squeeze in your day, even if it's just a few minutes, is so important, especially now when we're all probably pretty addicted to our phones and podcasts and Netflix and working and just always doing. And I really believe that like if you can get a couple minutes of stillness and quiet, it will carry over into other areas of your life

and it will just benefit you in so many ways. Okay, so this is a good kind of segue too. How to get into a good morning and night routine and stop scrolling. I think I've always been pretty honest about the fact that I'm terrible in the morning. Like once that phone is in my hand, even if it's just to look at the time or to do a morning reading, I am a moth to a flame. The flame is my phone. I am the moth and it's effing on. I just can't change it. I don't know. I don't know.

It's just like one of those habits that's like congealed my brain. But my friend Todd, he posted a funny meme the other day that was like, I just keep opening apps on my phone hoping one of them will bring me joy. And I was like, that is relatable. I'm like, Instagram, no mail, no TikTok, no, mobile, no, mobile banking. like just keep opening things. But with that said, I do try to at least do my meditation and a few readings and get outside for some fresh air before I'm on my phone all day because I have to be for work. But at night, I usually have a very good boundary with it. Lately, I've been not so great. I'm really calling myself out in this episode. Things have just been crazy. So I'm kind of off my routines. Like the other

night, I was getting in bed to read at like nine. And I got an alert from the citizen. an app and I ended up watching a helicopter rescue of a woman who drove off Mall and Drive at Universal City Overlook. I have no idea how she did that. Dropped 450 feet. It was like the most dramatic thing. I'm like reading all the comments as they're coming in. It's such crazy stimulation and like pretty morbid.

She survived. I don't know how she's doing. But you can imagine how I slept that night. I was like, what the F? am I doing. So to really avoid this, I usually charge my phone in the bathroom at night. And that way, I don't even have it near me. So I do my skincare. I get ready for bed, say around like 8 or 8.30 and get in bed to read for an hour or so. And if my phone isn't near me, I won't be tempted to scroll. Again, if it's like in the vicinity, it's just magnetic. It's just too tempting. So it has to be

physically elsewhere because my mind is just not strong enough right now. to resist, just being honest. So yeah, my tips would be to sleep with your phone in a different room, put it away at a reasonable time, give yourself time to relax before you go to bed, and try to do the same in the morning, even if you have to use it as a reward. Like I can check my phone after I do X, Y, and Z. And I'm going to be taking my own advice here. So we can all do it together. Okay, let's switch gears to food. I get a lot of food questions. always and I feel like this might be repetitive, but a lot of people asked for advice for finding what works for you with intuitive eating and how to cut out the noise. Let me just say,

my friend Lisa, she has the podcast, The Truthiest Life. She also has online courses, I believe, called Fork the Noise. I'm not sure what she's doing with them right now, but just go follow her. She is a registered dietitian and she is all about how to cut out the noise and how to really tune into your body. And she was on my podcast too twice. So you can go look for those episodes. She obviously is a professional so she can really give out good advice when it comes to this. But for me, I would say step one is cutting out the noise. So unfollow or mute any accounts that are like influencing what you eat in a negative way. If it's influencing how and when and why, even if that's me and my what I eat in a day's, although those are hopefully just to give

like meal inspo and also show that you can actually eat. But I know that I always get comments like that people are triggered. There's always one. But I would say to eliminate the noise, you've got to first just cut off those inputs at the source. And I really get asked this question a lot. And for me, it was kind of, for lack of a better word, a journey. It was a lot of trial and error. It's really hard for me to give concrete tips without knowing any context. But back when I was tracking macros and really obsessing over what I ate, I started just with one meal at a time. So, for example, I would not plan my lunch, for example. And once I was okay with that, then I would not plan my dinner and then breakfast and so on until I was not planning out my food for the day.

And it helped me to realize that like nothing terrible was going to happen if I made spontaneous choices about what I was going to eat or if I ate something I deemed bad. And it helped me trust myself and my body again. And there were and there still are times when I eat something and I'm like, okay, well, that didn't feel great. like I feel groggy or bloated or whatever after. So I take a mental note of that. But for the most part, I'm good. So back to the cooking thing too. I think cooking your own food helps so much with this because it can turn eating into an enjoyable experience.

You can find recipes that you're excited about and choose your ingredients and you can make things in bulk if you want. So you have those things on hand. I don't know if I'm even answering this because, again, it's not like I just did something or heard something and then everything clicked, it was really a process. We can all benefit from a daily multivitamin, and my absolute favorite is ritual. Rituals essential for women 18 plus multivitamin was formulated by exhaustive research to help fill nutrient gaps in the diets of women ages 18 plus. It's formulated with nutrients to help support brain health, bone health, blood health, and provide antioxidant support. But ritual didn't stop there. They invested in a gold standard

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Somebody asked, do I eat ultra-processed foods? So I'm not sure what would be considered ultra-processed, but I think the answer is probably no 95% of the time, but I'm sure I do sometimes. I feel like for the most part my diet consists of like fruits and veggies and some kind of protein and smoothies and trail mix and some chocolate and tacos and pot. pasta, things like that. So when I think ultra processed, I think more like snacky packaged foods,

which I just don't really buy aside from crackers and chips. And I'm not talking like chips or I'm talking like Twinkies or something like that when I think ultra processed. And what I eat one, maybe that's a bad example because I don't think I like Twinkies. But if there was something like that that was quote unquote ultra processed that I actually liked like sure I'd eat it once in a while I think it's not great if your diet consists of only that but I don't think anything is bad once in a while so that kind of brings me to what I say I have fully healed my gut I don't really know how you quantify that but in the sense of like not getting bloating or discomfort or anything like that I would say yes and I'll tell you what really worked for me

and this is just me. But when I healed my relationship with food, I stopped having gut issues, like period. Full stop. That was kind of it. So initially years ago, I think six years ago at this point, I had to take steroids. And then I went off those and I took some herbs and, yeah, just herbs when I was working with my nutritionist back then to help me get off the steroid and not have any issues. and then I tried having a restrictive diet, meaning not eating any potentially triggering foods like gluten, dairy, soy, sugar, corn, legumes, I think, eggs at one point, just on and on.

And I was still always bloated. So this is just my personal experience. But when I stopped stressing over food and if I was eating gluten or dairy or soy or corn, or sugar and stopped obsessing over how everything would affect me, I stopped having issues. And that's not to say if you're having uncomfortable symptoms, you're not dealing with something that needs to be addressed. And I know people really do have intolerances. And I just, when I got rid of the rules and the labeling of things and the fear and all of that, and I just ate and noticed what affected me, if at all, and how.

my issue is just kind of dissipated. But I'm not a doctor. I'm not a professional in this area at all. So take what I'd say with a grain of salt. But if you're feeling like you're backed into a corner of restrictive eating and avoiding all kinds of potential triggers and not really able to figure out what's going on, maybe consider the psychological effect that all of that anxiety and stress has. I talked about this a lot with Dr. Emmerin-Mayer on my podcast last year. He's a gastroids. anore neurologist and neuroscientist, professor at UCLA. He studies the gut brain connection. And yeah, the episode was last year, but you can just search his name. And my podcast should pop up. It's Emmerin, E-M-E-R-A-N-M-A-Y-E-R. We talk about it on the episode two weeks ago with Dr. B, Dr. Will Bolesowitz. So it definitely is valid. Okay, this is the last food one. I will do. I'll make it kind of quick because I feel like I've talked about this one as well, but how to control cravings. So again, when I stopped restricting things, I kind of stopped having cravings. And you guys know I have nightly dessert. Like I just need something sweet after

dinner. Not to keep referring back to old episodes, but Evelyn Tribbley, who is the woman who started the whole intuitive eating movement decades ago was on my podcast last year also. And she talked about this compensatory response that we get as a result of restricting. Just like if you were holding your breath or underwater or whatever, you come up and you gasp for air or you take a deep breath. And at least for me, that same thing happened when I tried to overcome cravings by being restrictive, like by not allowing myself to succumb to the craving or however you want to say it. It always backfired. Maybe not after a day or two or three, but eventually. I am going hard on some cookies and more so than I would if I just eat what I'm craving

and try to do so in some sort of moderation in the moment. And I'd also say just if you're eating regular meals or satisfying snacks and as like Harley and Rob Yang, if you guys remember him, say PFF, protein fiber fat. That should be your focus at your meals, staying hydrated, sleeping, staying active. Cravings just shouldn't be so overwhelming if you're doing all of those things. Unless it's emotional or from boredom or something, that's a different story. But I snack when I'm emotional and bored, so I'm not the best person to dole out advice around that. Okay. I'm going to go through some of these kind of quickly, if I'm capable of that. Let's see.

Number one, anti-aging tip. I'm going to be so boring, but SPF, it's just that's it. And then if the damage is already done, still do SPF and then lasers. Like I love IPL. I love fractal. I did BBL. I don't know if that really made a difference. But yeah, SPF, lasers, good skin care, surgery, if things have gotten really bad. Would I start Botox earlier if I knew what I know now?

If this means for prevention, I guess. maybe, yeah, but I don't know how much of a difference it would have made. I feel like maybe it can help with formation of static lines instead of dynamic lines. Again, I'm not a doctor, but I feel like it doesn't really address things like laxity and stuff like that. However, I would have stayed the fuck out of tanning beds. Excuse my language and the sun, but what can you do? Have I tried sculptor? No. Have I had body work? No, but I'm going to do my boobs soon. Fat transfer. I don't want to get implants. Hopefully I'm a candidate for fat transfer. Okay. Kind of on this same topic, I got a gazillion messages asking for surgeon recommendations. So I'll just answer now. I really don't like to give recommendations to people I don't know and even people I know sometimes because I have no clue what the issue is that you're wanting to address and what you're desired out to. is or any of that, I don't have a huge network of surgeons just at the top of my mind. There are people way more qualified than me to help with that. And I also don't want people to

blame me if they're unhappy with their outcome. So for me personally, you guys, I'm sure at this point know who I go to, Dr. Mascarro, and that's because I feel like we have the same aesthetic. Obviously, he's super talented. But I trust him to the point where I can just say, just do your thing. I don't even have to really tell him what I want. I actually ask him like what he thinks I should do. And I really don't, like we don't even have to have the conversation. Like I just know he'll make me look good. And I definitely recommend him to any of my friends and family.

But I remember Dr. Talley actually said to me after I had Dr. Mascarro do my lip lift a couple years ago that doctors are like clothing designers or artists or surgeons. plastic surgeons are like clothing designers or artists and everybody has a different style. So for me, it was about finding someone whose style I liked and I found that with Dr. Mascarro, but that may be someone different for you. You might be looking for something totally different, although like I said, very talented. And no, I don't have a special way of getting you in to see him before the year 2075. Okay. How to deal with toxic. We're going to take a left turn here. How to deal with a toxic alcoholic parent trying to get sober. You got to set a boundary and tell them you can't have contact with them until they get help or whatever the boundary works for you with your

circumstances. It's hard to say if I don't know them. But I would say definitely disengage with love. let them know you're there and let them know that you're there for them if they want to get sober and then you you've got to just kind of cut off communication or enabling or whatever the situation is but disengage protect yourself. Am I still married? Yes, I'm still married. Fuck, Mary, Kill, Macha salmon pasta. Definitely marry matcha. Like my morning matcha is the peak of my day always. And then this might shock you all, but I would have to kill salmon, I think, and fuck pasta. Like I could not, I love salmon, but I couldn't, it's just not like I couldn't live without pasta. A life without pasta is a life not worth living, in my opinion.

How to know if you have a drinking problem. Try stopping or moderating. That will probably tell you everything you need to know. How do I feel about the glorification of alcohol by other influencers? People ask me this on occasion. I don't really see it because I don't really follow many influencers or the influencers that I follow are generally not like glorifying alcohol. Most of them are in the wellness space and, you know, cooking and meditating. But I also don't really scroll social media, I just kind of use it for my own stuff. But as far as glorification of alcohol goes in general, I guess I'm just kind of neutral about it. Like I think, I feel like people ask me this because they think that I'll have an opinion on it, like where I think it's glorified and I think it's bad.

I guess like, I don't know. People ask specifically a lot about the emphasis on like women drinking wine and needing alcohol after a long day and things like that. And I think maybe it shouldn't the go-to coping mechanism for life. But to be honest, it just doesn't bother me. Maybe I just don't notice it. So I don't really have an opinion. I think people's relationship with alcohol is a really personal thing. And I'm just like completely neutral about it. I just don't notice it. Terrible answer. My brain isn't working anymore. Let's switch gears here. What is my philosophy about going in the sun, sunbathing, on vacation, etc.? Well, let's see. I really did the damage for half my life. So now I just try to be really diligent about sun protection. I wear SPF every day. If I'm sitting outside, I'll be in the shade or under an umbrella. I definitely don't sunbath. However, if I'm on vacation and I'm in the sun, I'm not like running for cover. I just reapply my SPF a lot and try to protect my skin as best I can when I was in Florida. Like I read in the sun for like 30 minutes.

with a ton of sunscreen on. And then I would go under an umbrella. When I was in Greece last year, you know, I wasn't, I'm not like hiding. I also feel like the Mediterranean scent, still sun, but way lower you, you, the index. Wow, I really can't speak anymore. Yeah, I do the best I can while also living my life,

not wearing like a sun protective hazmat suit. I know there are people out there. who are like, we thrive off vitamin D, a sun doesn't age you, it's your lifestyle that ages you, blah, blah, which I completely disagree with. I know people are deficient in vitamin D and it has benefits, whatever. And maybe for some people, obviously lifestyle does contribute to aging, but sun damage is not the vibe. And especially if you're Caucasian, fair, fair skin, that will definitely show up when you hit a certain age and it's not cute. Okay, I'm going to do a couple more here because I feel myself fading.

Daily non-negotiable. So I would definitely say, I know I talk about a nighttime routine being more important than a morning routine because it kind of like is the foundation that everything is built upon. but I would say my daily non-negotiable is my morning routine with my macha and a couple readings and a meditation, even if I'm inconsistent with my meditation sometimes. I still do it like 85% of the time probably. And the matcha and the readings I do daily and it's like something that I really look forward to. When I make my matcha the night before, I'm like excited for the morning. like I just want it to be morning so that I can drink it.

You'd think after so many years of doing this, I would get sick of it. I hope I never do because then I would have a big problemo on my hands. Oh, and I do wordal. Wardle also is a non-negotiable. And I was doing wordal, quirtle, octurnal, and spelling bee. New York Times spelling bee. Now I mostly just do wordal because I don't have time for all the other ones. If I do have time, I'll do them.

And now there's foodal also, P-H-O-O-D-L-E, and it's a food wordal. It's pretty easy, but it's fun. Okay. Thoughts on intermittent fasting. I feel like it's not magic. People might come for me in regards to this. Again, I'm not a doctor. I'm not an expert.

But every doctor and expert that I have spoken to is basically like, yeah, it might have some benefits. At the end of the day, it's really a calorie deficit. but I would say if it feels good, do it. If it doesn't feel good, don't do it. I did it. It didn't really feel good. However, I do kind of unintentionally intermittent fast in that I eat dinner pretty early, like usually around six. And then I'm done eating by like seven. And then in the morning, I'll have my matcha. So that's not technically fasting because it's like a nut milk base. But I don't eat breakfast usually until, I don't know, maybe 10. But that's what feels good.

When I was trying to do like a 16-8 fast or whatever, I felt terrible. And I was thinking about it. And I was like thinking about when I could eat and it was stressful. And it's not, I don't need that added stress in my life. Okay, what makes me truly happy? I would say my relationships, traveling, like, having the independence to do the things that I love and live my life in a way that I want without constraints. That all makes me happy. Harvey makes me happy. Cooking makes me happy. Music makes me

happy. Those are things. But I would say like the foundation of it are like definitely my relationships with my friends, family, traveling and being able to live my life in the way that I want to. How did I find my inner happiness? Definitely getting sober was a good start. And ever since then, it's just been kind of a process of cultivating a life that I love. Again, like I was saying before, and also just getting really comfortable with who I am and uncovering a lot of different aspects of myself and just accepting myself exactly as I am. I always talk about this when I talk about like my drinking and addiction. It was to, cover up who I was. Like I wasn't comfortable with myself. And so I needed external things,

namely drugs and alcohol to make me feel comfortable. So a big part in my sobriety and just being happy is accepting myself as I am. And when I accept myself, then I like myself. And I feel like those are kind of the foundations. And then my life is built upon that. And then I can direct my energy outwards. And of course, when I do that, I get kind of sustained happiness in return as well. Okay, I think I'm done. I have more questions here, but I will save them for my next solo, hopefully soon. As always, thank you for listening. Love you guys. Bye. I hope you enjoyed that episode. If you liked it, and if you like the show in general,

please take a second to rate, review, and subscribe. It goes a long way, and it's actually the best way to support the show. Also, if you want to see more about each episode, you can head over to The Blonde Files podcast on Instagram. I'm always posting about each episode there, or over on my personal page at Ariel Lorry. Thank you.