Well with Arielle Lorre - 184: Behind the Scenes Reality TV and Life After Laguna Beach with Stephen Colletti

Episode Date: July 13, 2022

In this episode I'm talking to Stephen Colletti, star of MTV's Laguna Beach, CW's One Tree Hill, Hulu's Everyone is Doing Great and co-host of the new Dear Media podcast, Back to the Beach. We discuss how Laguna Beach came to fruition and what it was really like being the star of one of the first reality TV phenomenons. We also chat about what was real and what was fabricated, how the experience shaped his life and how he moved on and found purpose after the show. Finally, we talk about moving on from unhealthy habits learning how to be comfortable in your skin.   Sign up at StitchFix.com/BLONDE for $20 off your first purchase.   Visit recreationsweat.com and use code BLONDE at checkout for 20% off your first purchase.    Visit athleticgreens.com/blondefiles for a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D and 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase.   Get a free LMNT Sample Pack for the cost of $5 shipping at DrinkLMNT.com/BLONDEFILES.   Produced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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go to your re-sadviseur or sunnycars. The following podcast is a dear media production. Hey, welcome to the Blonde Files podcast. I'm your host, Ariel Lorry, and I'm here to talk all things wellness. From how to achieve optimal health and well-being to the best beauty tips and everything in between, no topic is off

limits, and I'm bringing it to you real and unfiltered. I know there is so much information out there, so I'm here to help you navigate it all. Thanks for listening. Let's get into it. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show. I have an exciting episode for you today. I am talking to Stephen Coletti, who I'm sure many of you are familiar with. A lot of you probably had a crush on him in high school during the Laguna Beach days. And he was just so fun to talk to. We had a great time, a lot of similarities, even though obviously our lives are very different. And it was really interesting hearing a lot of like the behind the scenes of reality TV.

and also kind of how that shaped him and how he moved forward from that. And we just get into a lot of different topics today. So, of course, he was on Laguna Beach for two seasons. He also was on One Tree Hill. And then he has written, produced, and co-starred, and everyone is doing great, which is on Hulu. And now he and Kristen Cavaleri are co-hosting, a podcast on Dear Media called Back to the Beach. And they are rewatching seasons one and two of Laguna Beach and then spilling all the

details. And that's a Dear Media show. It's going to be out on the 19th. So next Tuesday. And yeah, in the episode today, we, of course, talk about Laguna Beach. And he talks about like how that show came to fruition, how he ended up being on it. what it was really like being the star of one of the first kind of reality TV phenomenon. It was such a huge thing in pop culture at the time.

He spills a lot of details of like what was fabricated versus what was real, what it was really like kind of being in the middle of this love triangle and what was really going on with that at the time with Kristen and Lauren Elsie. And then we kind of get into like how that shaped him. and how he moved on and found purpose after the show. And then we talk a little bit about, like, moving on from unhealthy habits, learning how to be comfortable in your skin. It's actually funny.

I think I'd probably say this to him in the episode. I can't remember. But I was going to do, like, part interview, part advice. I thought he would have an interesting perspective to give advice on some of the questions that you guys sent in. But we ended up kind of going off on this different direction. And we talked a lot about like wellness and growth and a lot of different things that kind of covered a lot of the questions that people sent in. So with that, I will stop rambling and get to the

episode. I hope you guys enjoy Stephen Kuletti. Right. Welcome, Stephen. Hello, hello. Thank you for having me. Hey, thank you for being here. I am very excited to get into everything that you're doing with the podcast and all things, Laguna Beach. I, of course, grew up with Laguna Beach. I think we're the same age, or maybe I'm a year older, but definitely. I'm looking much more weather than you are. Are you really my age? Yes. Well, well, well, well done. My listeners know there's a lot of maintenance that goes on here. I'm going to need some tips. So we can talk, we can talk off of air. Yeah, we can talk after. I got all the tips. But it was such a big part of pop culture back in the day. It still kind of is. I'm wondering, like, I'm sure it's having a resurgence

and especially with the podcast coming out that you and Kristen are doing on Dear Media. Like, it's so interesting how a lot of these things are kind of having like a second life. And I heard you doing another interview with James actually about One Tree Hill and how like that has had a resurgence, especially with streaming and people's kids are now watching it and all of that. And it's just really interesting. But to that point, you guys have a show on Hulu and the premise is basically people who were on a show together when they were younger, really popular, right? And then that show ends. And then it's kind of about like how they navigate their lives after that. And I would imagine it's partially autobiographical. Yeah. I mean, we, we'd like to joke with ourselves that it's,

this is a version of us that if we had taken a path continuing on down a road of just kind of, you know, the way you are, the majority of your 20s, you're throwing caution to the wind, you're making a lot of mistakes. You're doing a lot of dumb things. Hopefully you're learning from them. And thankfully, you know, the guys in the show, Seth and Jeremy, of course, it mirrors our lives and our experiences, you know, write what you know. And so we have a very unique perspective. And I think that there's been certain situations that we have found ourselves in that we could tell and drop into these characters. But as far as the, I mean, these guys have, they're making a lot of bad decisions. They're absolute knuckleheads. And the whole part of the show is there's two guys that

need to be leaning on each other at a very trying part of their lives. They both can't figure things out. You know, one is just a completely lazy bum who's smoking weed and has no path forward. And the other is trying to carve out his path forward and trying almost too hard, but the harder he tries, you know, the further he falls. So having those two guys lean on each other was really the whole, you know, beginning germ of the show and playing with that. And so, you know, thankfully, while, you know, not on your HBO, Game of Thrones type successful shows after a good run on a show like One Tree Hill, we have been able to continue to work in the industry, but that it does come with a lot of growing pains and that, and those are in the show and in these characters,

it's ingrained with them along with a lot of the silly stuff that they go through. But, but yeah, we definitely feel like we had that unique point of view and have had different struggles at different points in our lives, and we wanted to play with that. But, you know, these guys are in their early 30s as they're going through it. So it was a little late. And James and I can thankfully report that we got through some stuff a little bit earlier. Maybe not as early as most, but a little earlier than that. I feel like you had such a unique experience with Laguna Beach and like being on reality TV

before really what it is today. But I feel like at the time, there were actually less options. Like right now with streaming and everything, there's so much content out there that it's kind of hard to have a show like that that really like captivates everybody. And I feel like that's what that did at the time. And you were kind of like thrust into stardom at a young age. So how did that all come to fruition? And then I'm curious like how that did kind of shape who you are today.

Oh, yeah. It's, you know, I mean, we were basically plucked from obscurity. It was it was something that was rumored for a little while about a year of MTV wanting to do some sort of a documentary about kids in high school in California. it was now people like to parallel it to when the OC came out and from what I hear from the producer of MTV they were actually trying to do like a Melrose play so the OC just happened to come out and I think they even looked in LAA but eventually they moved down to Laguna so there was a whole process on her development side as things go in Hollywood takes a long time to eventually

find Laguna and land there and at the same time the OC had been out for a year so I think it really added to it all for them but yeah they all of a sudden after all the rumors, they showed up one day on campus and they are just trying to meet people. And I kind of just stood back with a lot of the other guys. It seemed like it was a lot of the girls seemed to jump on it more. Guys were like trying to play it cool. I think a lot of us were still interested in what was going on. But we know, when we caught dead going up to the table and picking up the packet in

front of our other friends who were like, you know, FM TV, like whatever happened in music television. So and I was other guys. Yeah. And I was one of those guys where at the time I knew I wanted. to work in entertainment. You can even go back to middle school when they're doing it for eighth grade. It was like they do the senior best like you do it senior year in high school, but they would do it for eighth grade when you're graduating eighth grade and going to high school. And one of the things was,

you know, most likely to be an MTV BJ. And I wanted that secretly so bad, but I wasn't going to exactly go out and campaign for it or anything. So it's just kind of like I used to go home from school every day and watch Carson Daly on TRLs. I want his job. So obviously having MTV around, I was very curious about meeting some producers and some people from MTV. So to During one of my classes, I excused myself to go to the bathroom. It was between break and lunch, second or third or fourth period and went up to the producers and we're still standing there at the table, kind of organizing packets and was like, what are you guys doing?

What's going on? And then they gave me one. I kind of took it home and kind of secretly filled it out. Didn't really tell my friends. And I think what happened is they wind up having a big meeting with a lot of the girls. And they really started to get names and stuff like that. And from there pulling the packets of maybe the guys that they had heard or, that were mentioned and then bringing them in for an interview. So then I came in for an interview

and just was probably way too open with them. I feel like we just shot the shit. And I was, it was funny. They came. They couldn't have come at a more perfect time. I think my, you know, obviously they jumped on this whole love triangle. And it was a time where Chris and I, after dating for a while, it really started to be on and off. Lauren, who was one of my very good friends. You know, we had kind of tried dating for a minute and it really worked out. And so they kind of picked up on all this and then they ran with it, which we obviously did not figure out until a little later on, until it was too late, right? So yeah, and I think, look, we never knew that it was going to be what it was. It was very overwhelming. I think, I think when it all started to come out and it

became this thing that was actually being watched by people, because I never thought people would take it seriously. And I just thought we'd end up in a box at MTV. But, you know, back then, there are limited viewing options for the audience out there. There are no streamers to go to. And when you're a kid in, you know, the aughts, you're watching stuff like MTV, VH1, and whatever they're showing on that channel is what you're watching. And you don't even have a TiVo or anything yet.

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Hello, I'm Ariana Maddox, reality TV star, author, mixologist, and major daydreamer. My show, Earth to Ariana, is where we can all get lost in conversation together. Whether it's the weird things we fan girl over or our trauma and triumphs, we all have have a story to tell, including you. We really are all connected and I can't wait to explore these conversations with you. Every week, we will be putting on our comfy as BJs, circling up with a cocktail and chatting with fans and friends alike. We might even get a little too comfortable. Check out Earth to Ariana anywhere you listen to podcasts. We release new episodes every week. And so, you know, it caught fire and became something bigger than we definitely expected. And, you know,

I was, it was, it was tough for me to try to adapt. I just try to kind of live in denial about being famous. It was like, this is not really a thing. Maybe some people are watching it. And I just was trying to go about kind of my life, even though I still wanted to work with MTV, but it was the whole, the extreme fame that kind of came with it at that moment, which was really trying because I elected to go to school in San Francisco to kind of have a new start. Like I was like, all right, a lot of kids from Laguna in our little bubble, the bubble shift to USC,

Santa Barbara, San Diego, and you still with some same friends. Wanted some culture. I wanted to meet some people. And so I wanted not start anew, but just like start fresh in a way. And I go up there in about a month into college, the GoTo Beach starts airing. And so from being unknown around campus to now being, that's the guy from the TV show. And I mean, I was in the dorms and you're walking down the hall to go to the showers. And literally an arm would just pop out of a door.

And it would be a camera and just like, click, click. And you're just like, oh, my God. And that was before social media, right? Or like the very, very early days of Facebook, maybe. It was the very, very early days of Facebook. So I wasn't on it yet and not a lot of people were on it yet. But I think the class before me is when Facebook really started. And then, yeah, it wasn't until about 2006 when it really started to pick up with Myspace and Facebook. So that was, the internet was, it was growing rapidly at that time. But yeah, there's still just the, the, you know, people coming up to you and taking pictures, which I was okay with. It's fine to do it. If they're really interested, I'm like, oh, it's okay. But it's just the whole weird,

the fame for something that is so silly to me. It's like the show is about these people's kind of lives in a way. It's very sensationalized version of their lives. It was MTV's version of our lives. And for that to be like, I guess to be famous for that. And for people to like want a picture with you, it didn't really compute for me. How much of it was real? You said it's sensationalized. So like how much of it was kind of curated by MTV and how much of it was real? You know, it's they have the foundation of all the relationships of these people knowing each other, right? And it's my belief is that they, once they learned everything and kind of had an idea, they had their finger on the pulse of what was going on in this high school and these kids and their relationships. They really set up situations for that to thrive again, hopefully. And if it didn't, they were going to edit it to make it so. And for me personally, and which has been kind of shocking and watching back the first season of Laguna Beach, is that they dragged out

this love triangle over the course of the whole, you know, basically 11, I think it's 11 episodes in the first season, which to make it seem over like a six-month period. And it just, it just wasn't the case. Again, there had been, when they came around, Chris and I had been, you know, broken up for a minute and Lauren and I had tried to date. And in our little terms back then, it was it was hooking up, right? It was the hookup culture of high school. But we never kind of really took that next step to a relationship. And then Kristen and I would start dating together again, seriously. And so, but MTV, you know, kind of heard that like there's feelings there. And again, it was, it was so they really jumped on that and they tried to make it, the fact that they made it seem

over like multiple episodes over multiple months that I'm like playing both of these girls. Like they, they, there's episodes that are edited that are like I, when one night hanging out with with Lauren and then, and they made it seem like we're like sleeping together. And then the very next night, I'm going over to Christian's house and it's like, it was not like that. And look, there was like, look, it's not, it was not pretty back then as far as like, you know, people when you're single, hookup culture and all that. But to, to make it seem like I was just this guy that's like out there trying to like, all right,

let's see how long I could get away with just playing both these girls. It's not true. Like I did not have fun in that situation. Like Kristen was my first love in high school and, you know, I'd been cheated on. And so we would break up and I was devastated. And then you kind of go, you know,

naturally you go and you're with a friend. And then that doesn't work out, unfortunately, and you kind of, you know, and so it's feelings are being hurt. And it was, you know, not something that I was seeking. it was a victim of circumstance in a way, but of course, there are, you know, there's, there's, blame to be had on my end of decisions that I made at that point. But to have that kind of drawn out through all those episodes, you're able to see a lot of moments where they're editing together

certain things to make it fit their storyline. So, you know, that's a very long way of saying that you could put it probably somewhere around 50-50, but I would put it, there are pivotal moments in that show that I think stuck out as far as like, oh, like, you know, you could see what's going on. This is what they've got this relationship going on on the side where it is heavily edited. And they're using lines, wild lines that we were recording on a different day, looks from other scenes to piece together their stories. So look, the foundation of relationships are there, but the story that MTV told is sensationalized a lot. We are talking about healthy habits and consistency in this episode. and one habit that I have been very consistent with over the past year or so

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That's stitchfix.com slash blonde to get $20 off your first purchase. This is a limited time offer. So purchase within two days of sign up. I will say, though, I haven't watched it in a long time, but I feel like you never really came off as the villain. Even though they did have you kind of like seem like you were playing these two girls, I felt like the focus was kind of on Kristen as being like kind of the bad guy in the show. And you came off pretty well despite the circumstances.

Like I don't feel like you got the blame. Maybe you did personally or it felt that way. But it seemed like it was more like the burden was more on her. You know, it's interesting you say that there are, we talk about certain things that reality shows where they find a certain part of your personality and they kind of latch on to it. And they really, they really expand on that and make it a thing. Like Kristen was, and she actually kind of ran with this later, to her credit, was very smart and ran with it with the hills and helped build her brand.

But she was the bitch, if you will, right? And that was just, she was kind of brutally honest. And she'll admit now that she was an insecure girl in high school. And she said a lot of things, as a lot of us do, just because you're insecure and you're, you're projecting it away. And, you know, Lauren, to contrast that in this little love triangle was, you know, I don't want to say soft spoken because she stood up for herself a lot. in the show, but just, you know, sweeter and when it wasn't so quick to talk bad about people or

say something maybe brutally honest, if you will. And so it was tough to see for Kristen that she, they made her seem terrible. And even watching it back, we joke in the first couple episodes. It was like, wow, I don't even know why anybody would have a root for us. They may have seem like the worst couple in the history of relationships. Like these two are complete assholes. They're both playing each other and they should never be together. And so that was tough to see, you know, that they never showed the good. And then even as we as we see, this is what's been fascinating about watching it, we see the development of our little relationship in MTV's world. They eventually start to show some quote, quote, good, if you will, which is us kind of going

on a couple of dates. And it seems like Lauren's out of the picture in their world. And but even then, they'll take like little awkward moments of like maybe Kristen's like, you know, lying about her score on miniature golf or like saying, And like, are you know, are you just saying that to me just to like make me feel like parts of little moments of conversations between the two of us that still make it seem like, oh, these two people should not be together because it plays to their to their narrative. And that was, that was frustrating because, you know, we, Kristen and I dated for a couple of years and went through a lot of ups and downs, but we had a lot of fun together. And the memories looking back are very fond.

And so there's that. I say for myself also, yeah, I mean, I think it's tough because to me, the whole love triangle thing is silly. I mean, guys would be like, yeah, bro, like, dude, you're like playing those two girls and like want to high-five me at bars. I'm like, oh, no, it's not cool, man. Like, it's not, it was not fun. And another thing is there, I had this, you know, one episode where, you know, I had way too much tequila. We were in Cabo and I, and I blew up on Kristen on camera, which was a huge mistake. And my one, I guess, big regret, if you will, of the show as the way I handled that situation. And from there, you can see how they reverse engineered so much of that moment into episodes

leading up and two episodes after as now Stephen is the jealous rage guy. And I mean, that is like one of my top three most like drunk, messy moments of my life is being completely blacked out on tequila and covo at one of the worst parts of my relationship with somebody. And so everything coming to a head. and then to them have them spread out through a few other episodes, you know, jealous rage guy was tough to see. Exploitative.

Yeah, but look, at the same time, I mean, that's the correct word. It's exploitative, but it's their job. I mean, this is what they're creating is entertaining television, and people are watching reality TV to watch. Look, I mean, I think they want to, these days, it's different. You're seeing some drama, but you're learning about stuff, whether it's real estate or travel or different parts of, you know, of, you know, the country and work and people's shops.

But back then it was like, we just want some of the worst moments of these people's lives, some of the worst things that they say, some of the drunken moments, some of their missteps to be at the forefront of the story, because that's what's going to be entertaining to the audience. I'm just sitting here thinking, if I had had cameras on me when I was that age, and all of my, I had a really toxic relationship as well, like throughout high school and beginning of college, and, you know, drinking all the time.

Like, it's just, I just cannot imagine. Did you feel kind of traumatized by that after? Or did you just kind of, I mean, you seem very like even keeled, level-headed, you're a rational guy. When that experience was over, were you like never again, did you feel like it was, I don't know,

like how did that affect you in the long run, I guess, is my question. Yeah, I wanted to get out of it as soon as possible. I did not want to be in the second season is I really kind of got a little wise to what they were doing. So I turned down a lot more stuff in that second season. Thankfully, they still, I guess I say thankfully, this is, I'm thinking on contractual terms, because there was a renegotiation for Lauren and I in the second season where we actually got a little bit of an episode rate that was a little bit more than the pennies that we were given for the first season. So there was, there was nice that they kind of used some pieces or that I was, you know, that I was in that I was like not as much as they expected to you know to use me but you know I yeah I rally

TV it was it was shocking and very uncomfortable and I just wanted to run away from it and so I don't ask me why but from there after I enjoyed working at MTV for TRL it was a really fun experience and it was something I thought I wanted to do at the time but I quickly found an interest more in acting it's something I'd done in middle school started to learn it a little more and and caught the bug. And so I do not recommend you start your career with a reality TV show before going into a serious acting career. It's not exactly the best path. But for me, it was at that time, you know, I think I was so young when I did that show. And I still, you know, I had a lot that I needed to learn and grow upon. And even though this whole identity that MTV had created for me and that

kind of the early blogs ran with of like this, you know, I don't know, it was, I just, there was was things that were online at the time, some of the early blogs that would bother me. And we were easy targets in there go after. And it was, I felt so misunderstood because it was like, I'm not this kid who's sitting here trying to be famous and just like be a complete wreck. And like, you know, again, the whole kind of player persona that the show had put on me. And so, you know, I just kind of tried to settle back. I was living in L.A. And so at the same time, it was like, this weird juxtaposition of like trying to live under a rock and focus on studying acting and apply myself there but at the same time i did enjoy going out i got caught up in a lot of the like

people are inviting you to things there is a party every single night and you're still you're 20 years old 19 years old and you're like oh my gosh and you have access because of the show i would imagine yeah so it was it was difficult at the time to say no and that's something that's taking me time in my 20s to really grasp to be able to say no to things. And while I, look, I took work hard, play hard to heart. I think that's it. Like I had a lot of fun. But I also, you know, I took care of business when I needed to and would not let the two overlap, you know, too much. I think, of course, early on probably there's some things. I can look back on on the way I think I looked in my early 20s as I was clearly boozing. The majority of the nights, you know, more nights than I

wasn't is basically the facts, which. As a lot of us do, though, that's forgivable. Yeah, and the old baby fat in the face carried on a little longer than it should have in my 20s. But that was, yeah, that was a very swollen, drunken man. But, you know, I think it helped me find a sense of normalcy, as weird as that is, because I hated going out to clubs in Hollywood. It just was not, it seemed it was what everyone was doing, so you did it, but it's just a loud place.

You're yelling at the friend next to you. there's, there's, you know, some people you don't want to be around too consistently that are frequenting those places. And there's a lot being thrown at you, you know, and so, thankfully, I kind of, you know, there'd be times where it would be, I would, you know, really, I need to chill out, you know, we're having a little too much fun, quote unquote, and I would do that. And thankfully, you know, I had work, whether it was going to work for MTV in New York or eventually going to North Carolina to work on One Tree Hill that would get me out of L.A., which I am very grateful for because it kept me on my path and, you know, kind of kept me focused on where I needed to be headed.

But again, that took time. I mean, I really didn't, I feel like it didn't click. I didn't become comfortable with myself until I was in my late 20s. And that's with the fame, with the fact of doing Laguna Beach and understanding what I needed to do, what was my path forward and how I was going to go about it because yeah, before that, it was early 20s. You're just saying yes to everything. And, yeah, trying to just skip your way through it. I think that's so important for the audience to hear, though, because my audience ranges, like, I mean, probably as young as like 18 all the way through like 60, but a lot of them are kind of 20s, early 30s. And I know for me, and a lot of people, I think when you're in your 20s, you feel like you need to have it all

figured out. You, why don't you feel comfortable in your skin? And it really for me, too, like once I hit my early 30s, like late 20s, late late 20s, early 30s, that's when I started to like feel like I was leveling out a little bit and like achieve comfort in my skin. I feel like it only gets better every year. But when you're in your 20s, you're having this existential thing where you feel like you have to have it all figured out. And oh my God, I'm coming up on 30 and like I don't know what I'm doing and I feel uncomfortable. And so something is wrong with me. And I think that's just so normal. So I think it's helpful to hear your perspective on that, too, that that was your experience. Yeah, you know, I feel a lot of it is a pressure to, because yeah, you think you have it all

figured out, but you really, really don't. And so in doing so, I think the saying yes and being around certain things that you wouldn't necessarily normally be around or you wouldn't, you would say no too easily in your 30s. I think it's important for people to learn that, look, it's good to go out there and experience things because obviously knowledge comes from experience. and I learned a lot. But I feel like the quicker you can kind of focus in what it is you want and work towards that with discipline, then you're going to be ahead of the pack, which I think is what we're ultimately all wanted to do back then.

You kind of to show up and, you know, whether it's going to these parties or going to social events and looking a certain way and talking about the great things you're doing within your jobs, like it's you're trying to, you know, you're trying to share that you've got it all figured out and that everything is fine when it's not necessarily. And it's okay that it's not. But I think that the quicker you can kind of really lock into what's driving you is key, because you'll realize that's much more important than what is ultimately hollow, which is going out and trying to project that your life is great and you've got all these great things going on. And ultimately, you're actually going out and wasting time. You know? I talk about that a lot. Like I feel like a lot of my 20s were

spent trying to, I don't know, put on this facade. And that facade like nearly took me out. It's, it's like, it wasn't until I started peeling back those layers and like being okay. It sounds so cliche, like so cheesy. But I think everybody does it too. Like I think everyone gets caught up in that. That's what your 20s are for. I mean, it's a cliche because it's true. There are, you know, yeah, that trial and error is key. And yeah, I mean, to me, thankfully, getting to a point of understanding, take, for example, a Friday night, you know, you've got those friends that are maybe a little bit later to kind of figure out the like, wait, going out every weekend night is not great thing. Like, it's not the right decision ultimately

as we're all trying to build careers and move ourselves forward in life. Well, look, maybe for some networking it away, sure, if you could do it, maybe sober, then that's great. But to say yes to every Thursday, Friday, Saturday night and realize kind of as you get a little older, you're a little sluggish going into your next week. You're also like it's taking a toll on your body inside and out. You know, thankfully I kind of realized somewhere around 27, 28 that look, it's important for me, especially with my job, you know, to be a lot more, I think, clean cut in the, you know, keeping things together and then keeping things healthy, making good decisions. And so I started to adapt that. And it took time and it was tough. But, you know, as things should

be in life that are important. Once I got there, I was so happy to kind of reach another side where it was like, the idea of like honestly working out on a Friday night and waking up Saturday morning feeling great, knowing that just a few months earlier and still what a lot of my friends are doing my age are out there now waking up completely hung over, having spent a bunch of money the night before. And like, you know, you feel like you're getting ahead. And that's like a weird thing for me that I kind of clicked into in my 20s where it's like, look, you need to find a way to feel like you're out in front of the pack a little bit in some little way because you're in a very competitive industry. And it's not that you need to go out and share all that. It doesn't,

you don't need to necessarily put all these Friday night workouts on Instagram, but it will come out. I feel like, you know, you really want that respect. It's going to be something that is, people will learn that from, you know, they'll find that out from you. And at first, it's going to be tough. Like for me at first, a lot of my friends would make fun of me. Like, oh, what do you, you have nothing going on? You don't have a real job. Like, you don't have, what are you doing? And I'm like, like, sure, I don't have a real job, but like my company is my, myself, you know? And, and, yeah, it's, it's, it's, I report to myself. And if I'm not doing well, and if I'm just blowing shit off, then how well is my company doing? Yeah. It's doing terribly. I feel like it really helps with, like,

to what you were saying before, like, finding your purpose and, like, being focused. I I got sober in my 20s. And I don't know, people always ask me, like, again, those same people, I think, who are, like, in their 20s, feeling a little bit aimless or even 30s, whatever, not able to find something that they're passionate about and not able to find a purpose and or feel like they're working towards something in life. Like, stripping away a lot of that bullshit really helps. Like, it really does. Yeah. I think a lot of people are, it's hard to do, though. I mean, it can be really hard.

I think and finding out pinpointing out what that stuff is in your life. Yeah. And some of it is having, for me, another, a really big thing is having honest conversations with yourself, you know. I mean, there could be, there's certain people in your life maybe that, you know, that you do love, but ultimately it's an unhealthy relationship, you know, looking at that, looking at, you know, just certain decisions that you're making and how you're going about your business.

And don't, don't sell yourself on this lie. of like, oh, I'm working hard. People are quick, quick to throw out, I'm working hard. Well, how hard are you actually working? Like, have you said no more times? And you've said, yes, have you put yourself in a lot of positions where you're like, fuck, I'm missing out on this because I got to do the more maybe responsible thing or the thing that I don't necessarily want to do, but it ultimately I know is good for my

work or furthering myself as a human being or as a professional. You know, those are going to be hard decisions to make. And it may alienate you a little bit. Like I said earlier, some of your friends are going to judge you. I think that's when you know you're in a good spot. Yeah, like it kind of weeds out, I think. Yep. A lot of people, it like prunes.

Yeah, you know, you're right. And you do find the people that I think that are receptive to that. There will be plenty of people like that that respect that. Like, those are the people that you want around, right? Yeah, I love it. You know, it's so funny. I was telling you before we started recording that I was going to have people sending questions for advice.

And I feel like we're just doling out the advice without even asking the question. But a lot of them are things that people, were asking me, like, how to change careers, how to find something that you're passionate about, how to feel comfortable and confident, you know, in these different stages in your life. So I'm curious, aside from like the changes that you were just talking about, if there's a change that you can think of that you made in your life that, like, impacted the trajectory or impacted who you are today. Yeah, it's a pretty simple one, which is just consistently working out in whatever form that that is for you. I was never a gym guy. I grew up playing golf and soccer. So a long walk,

right? Yeah. A lot, well, it's, it's a walk. A walk in a park spoiled or something. A walk in a park ruined. Yeah, basically, or a long walk spoiled. You're right. That's the same idea. And so, you know, I was active at the beach. I would skim and surf growing up. So I kind of had that. But again, that the whole going to the gym wasn't my thing. And even when I started to, it took time. And I would just kind of go through the motions in the gym. And it wasn't very disciplined. You're just kind of there. And over time, I kind of started setting goals. And it's this weird thing that I'll pinpoint. And I started setting a goal for how many days a week I wanted to work out. And ultimately, how many days a month and ultimately what my year goal was. And to have that accountability with myself,

I had just this little wall calendar and for every day that I had a good workout. That was something that was sufficient. Definitely broke a good sweat and not like just a walk to the grocery store and back. I would throw G on my calendar. And it was mainly for gym. And at the time, I also went, I think I just got a membership to like an equinox, which is normally incredibly overpriced. And, you know, eventually I did learn you really can't put a price on fitness. It really is important for, you know, obviously your physical being, but also your mental being. And it took time for me, but I eventually started to get up to my goal and I hit it. And even though that year was over and you're kind of like, oh, I was kind of sad to see the calendar being thrown away.

I'm like, you know, I put a lot of work in there. I moved into the next year. But it also clicked for me of like, kind of what I alluded to earlier, like waking up on maybe a Saturday morning, not feeling well and hung over from a day before. No matter how much fun I had the night before, no matter how great and all the best people in my life were there, I still felt better, obviously, when I went and did a workout. And so from there, again, it was the hard thing over what might be the easier,

more fun thing. And to start to get that routine and make fitness a big part of my life, it really helps stabilize me mentally and physically. I moved out of L.A. two years ago, and one of the big reasons was I wanted to be back in the water, at the beach a lot. You just don't really do that up in L.A. You know, it's the, in, in Santa Monica where I live, the beach is a little different from Laguna. So, you know, started surfing again. And it's just, that's just become, you know, obviously something that's, that's really centered me and that I feel

that I need now, and I'm not the same or not working and operating at my best, unless I'm doing that. And it's okay to look. I'm okay when I take breaks or if it has dips and you can take your vacations or whatnot. But knowing that, like, that's what you always need to come back to. We're like, oh, I'm not feeling, I'm feeling a little off these last two weeks. Well, you haven't been working out these last two weeks. So start, you know, riding the ship again that way. I love it. Well, this is a wellness podcast at the end of the day. So bringing the hot tips. I think it's important, though, for people to like just take inventory of their life. I don't think enough people do that and like look at what's working and look at what's not

working and where do you want to be and what is holding you back from being there. And I like that idea of like having a visual. I'm a very visual person. And I think in your head, it can seem like one thing. But when you see it in front of you, you're like, oh, I'm actually only doing this two days out of seven or whatever. Like it's just completely different. Yeah. I think that is something. I mean, I still write goals and I have to write them down on a piece of paper. I don't type of them in the notes on my phone. They have to be in a notebook. And that's another thing for me that I've found, that really helps center me and keep me disciplined and focused is, you know, where I'm keeping my stuff organized that are not just thoughts in my head, things that I want to be doing.

Or I don't know, I have so many notes in my cell phone. My notes app is, it's completely unorganized. It's saying that I, that I almost am like, I can't really put anything that I need to hold myself accountable for in there because also, I mean, our phones are such a, distraction in so many ways. You can go from that like reviewing your goals on your notes app to maybe you're getting halfway down the goals list and then all of a sudden you're on Instagram. So it's like we're all guilty of it. And so to have that separated out and yeah, again, I mentioned that wall calendar that was helpful at that point of my life to then being able to actually write down physically, you know, goals and stuff that is important. It registers in a different place

in your mind than just obviously jotting something into a notes app. Really, I'm the same. I'm such a proponent of like putting pen to paper, like actual pen to paper, not notes. There is something so different about it. And I feel like I heard some very smart person. I can't remember who they were, what they did or anything. But talking about like why exactly it is that it's different when you're like writing something versus when you're typing it or it's funny that it's like, I mean, think about notes app being the go to. How would you say this? I don't even know if you can call it stationary. But. But like if you're seeing it, if we have an apology to write, like maybe at the top of the list is going to be type it into your notes app and throw it on. This is what we've seen in our society. And it's just funny that it's become a thing where it was like, oh, got to do the notes app apology. You know, and it's the long lost art of writing a letter to somebody. I say like, look, when I get a thank you card from somebody that is handwritten, I write them back and say thank you for your thank you card that is handwritten. because there is nothing greater than a handwritten note.

And I tried to handwritten thank yous whenever I can. I'm not 100% great about it. But whenever you can, I highly suggest doing that and mailing it to somebody. It's just different. But there's also certain business things or certain acquaintances and stuff. It doesn't really call for it. But for people that are important to you, I think writing stuff down and expressing it that way is important. I love the thank you for the thank you note.

I get it, but I'm like that that will set off like a huge, like just an endless cycle. But I feel the same way. If I get something like that, I'm like, oh, thank you. Like that's just how I am. Yeah, I'm a bit of a people pleaser. That's kind of how I am. That's funny. I am too.

I feel like we're similar in a lot of ways. So your podcast comes out on the 19th, right? Yes. 19th. So this is going to come out next Wednesday, I believe. So it'll be like the Wednesday before it comes out on Tuesday. Tuesday, right? Okay, about a week before. Yep, it's a Tuesday. Since Kristen was your first love, you guys have this whole history. Like, what is it like doing this show with her and tell

everybody kind of the premise of the podcast? So the podcast, we, basically, it's Kristen Cavalry and myself. We were rewatching the first two seasons of Laguna Beach, the ones that we were in. There was a third season of Laguna, but we're on it. So we elected to just skip that and go through what was also important for us to kind of keep it limited to kind of what we knew of the show and not go off too much. We didn't know, you know, how interested people would be in talking about 70 episodes of reality TV if we continued on. So like, all right, we'll just keep it. Let's do more of a limited series, if you will. And we basically, separately, we watch the episodes and then we come together with notes. We discuss what we saw, memories that popped up, what was

real, what was not real. One of our biggest segments, if you will, are bits are MTV or IRL, what's in real life and what was MTV. And there is, oh my gosh, there is so much to be broken down in every little scene. I mean, we wanted our episodes to kind of be a little shorter, maybe 35 minutes, but everyone has been around 45 minutes plus. I'm not sure where they're going to end up, but they're all edited down. But it's just, it's been this fascinating rollercoaster of like all the different memories that come flooding back that you totally forgot about. to also comparing notes of like what did, you know, what was happening on your end at this time and why did you say this or do that or who were you saying that to or who were you actually talking about

to also just examining what life was like back in the mid-a-a-a-a-t's, which is, you know, barely getting cell phones. We've got VCRs. Yes, yeah. There's no, you know, we've got big-ass TVs as far as, you know, there's no flat-screen TVs. They're just super clunky and ugly. some of the fun, I mean, the sidekick cell phones eventually. So we really have fun kind of breaking down. There's some, the nostalgia of it all. And then also going into the details of what exactly MTV was portraying of our lives and how it different from what was really happening. And then behind the scenes, like what you didn't, what you didn't see. A lot of, and this is, you know, coming back to Kristen and I's relationship with this podcast and our relationship from back in the day,

we get to share some really fun stories of what we did, like of some good, that we got into back of the day and also some of the bad trouble. And I mean, we share anything from, you know, big blowup fights that we had off camera to, you know, ditching school and going places. I mean, even talking about maybe running away at one point. Like, we go through all these funny memories that we didn't necessarily plan on going through. But as we go through and discuss it together, these things pop up. And we love it when we surprise each other on the show. And one of my favorite moments is when Kristen kind of says, like, oh, are you okay if we talk about and she'll quickly kind of like throw something out that'll,

you know, spark a memory of mine. And I'll be like, oh, yeah, yeah, that's fine. She's like, yeah, fuck it, we can edit it later. And whenever she says, fuck it, we can edit it later. And then goes into a story, I'm like, okay, here we go. This is going to be a good one. And so there's a ton of that material. And of course, we bring in our cast members and different guests related to the show and discuss their experiences as well. And it's been really fun connecting with them. And yeah, Look, Chris and I have, you know, we've connected over the last couple years, and it's been fun to do so because we shared such a big history in our little relationship back in the day. But we're good friends now and it's been, it's been really fun working with her on this. You know, she was the top of the list. She is a spark and the gunpowder and a wick. She's a spark, a wick, and the firecracker all wrapped up into one. I really have a lot of respect for her and what she's done with her life. So we have a really good experience. And look, she doesn't hold back. She's going to tell it how it is. And so having that whole dynamic play out has been really fun.

And we're excited for the audience to check it out. Sounds incredible. I can't wait to listen to it. And I'm sure everybody listening is very excited too. So where can everybody find the podcast? It's on Dear Media. It comes out 19th, as we said. Yes.

On Dear Media, just like yourself, who we've had an amazing experience working with. They're a fantastic team over there. And we are going to launch where, where everyone, where all you can get your podcasts, where all podcasts are on all them, Spotify, Amazon, iTunes. Yeah, wherever podcasts are available, you can find us. Yeah. Is there?

There's so many now. Well, thank you so much for coming on. We didn't get to do the advice because we just. Oh, so long-winded again. No, it's great. I told you, I think we covered a lot of people's questions and then some. So thank you so much for coming on. Well, thank you for having.

me. It was wonderful chatting with her. Nice. I hope you enjoyed that episode. If you liked it, and if you like the show in general, please take a second to rate, review, and subscribe. It goes a long way, and it's actually the best way to support the show. Also, if you want to see more about each episode, you can head over to The Blonde Files podcast on Instagram.

I'm always posting about each episode there, or over on my personal page at Ariel Lori.