Well with Arielle Lorre - 186: Life Updates, Advice and Q&A

Episode Date: July 26, 2022

In this episode I discuss some life updates and take listener questions about topics ranging from relationships to beauty advice; my thoughts on Kim Kardashian's recent Botox revelations; my current routines; tips for habit building and productivity, as well as a round of rapid fire Q&A at the end.   Save 15% sitewide at justthrivehealth.com using promo code BLONDE.   Visit recreationsweat.com and use code BLONDE at checkout for 20% off your first purchase.    Right now, you can get $10 off your first month of Nuuly when you use the code BLONDE10. Just go to Nuuly.com and enter the code BLONDE10 at sign up.   Get 20% off with code “BLONDE” at KEANHEALTH.COM.   Right now, our listeners get 10% off their first month at Betterhelp.com/FILES.   Receive 20% OFF a case of Karma Water now when you go to drinkkarma.com/blondefiles.   Produced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Auto-hue with Sunny Cars feels as if the children Not me be seen. Tisel stramble. Zandvo. Actis forcare. Viscaned. Vacantia can chaotic

but who zorgalos an auto-hurt says Oneo dos no stress. No own-verwachted costs. Always fullledgird. So, would auto-huees under-sorgue. Go to your reisadvice or

Sunnycars. The following podcast is a dear media production. Hey, welcome to the Blondefer podcast. I'm your host Ariel Lori and I'm here to talk all things wellness. From how to achieve optimal health and well-being to the best beauty tips and everything in between, no topic is off limits and I'm bringing it to you real and unfiltered. I know there is so much information out there so I'm here to help you navigate it all. Thanks for listening. Let's get into it. Hi everybody. Welcome to the show. Welcome to a bonus solo episode of the show.

I hope everybody is doing well. I'm doing well. I'm a little overwhelmed as I record this on Tuesday, July 19th. And since this is coming out on Monday the 25th, I can address this a little bit. And this is all I'm going to say about this situation. But I do feel like I just want to say something about it and this will be it. So when this episode comes out, it will have been announced that Chuck and I are getting divorced. It feels weird to even say it. But that is the reality. And the thing I'm overwhelmed

about right now is just the potential response to the filing, like whether it's going to be picked up by any media, because unfortunately, there are people. people who basically sit at the courthouse and wait for anybody notable to file. And of course, the inevitability of trolls rejoicing, whether it's people who follow me or who follow other outlets and feel the need to comment and write me shitty things because there are a lot of those people out there. I get it all the time. I've gotten it all the time throughout the relationship. And I know that there are people who listen to this podcast too, who did not wish us well, put it that way, because I would get messages. So that is definitely daunting because I am a human being,

but I just have to remember that it takes a lot of inner turmoil for somebody to comment nasty things and be like an internet troll, especially about somebody's relationship. So anyway, I know people were just kind of wondering over the last few months since I have been in a different house and sometimes wearing my rings or not, which really doesn't mean anything, because a lot of times I would take them off to cook and do skincare and get a spray tan. I mean, that isn't really a clue. But let me tell you, I got a lot of messages from people that were pretty creepy, just about noticing different things. And anyway, this was a lot of messages. And so, this was a lot of messages from people from people that were pretty creepy, just about noticing different things. And anyway, this was not an overnight thing. It's not something that we did

lately. Obviously, I'm going to respect his privacy. He's way more private of a person than I am. And my privacy obviously is really important to me too. So I did just want to like address it. And we are in a really good place. We love each other a lot and have remained super close, which I think makes it a little bit harder and a little bit more sad. But I'm also hopeful that, you know, we'll be in each other's lives in a really meaningful way. We are co-parents to Harvey. And that is my little statement on that. So ironically, I'm doing an advice episode today, and there were so many relationship questions. I don't know if I'll be answering those. We'll see. I was actually going to do an advice portion and answer some of these with Stephen Coletti from Laguna Beach, but we ended up talking for so long that we didn't

have time to get to the advice portion. So you guys are stuck with just me. And I was hoping that he could answer a lot of the relationship stuff, but things changed. So I guess I'll dive into it. I did get a lot of questions about how to deal with the breakup of a relationship. So I mean, it's just really sad. And I think the most important thing is to let yourself be sad. Don't just try to distract yourself and numb out from the uncomfortable feelings. I think so many people stay in relationships where they are unhappy or unfulfilled to avoid feeling the painful emotions and doing the uncomfortable shit like when you have to disentangle your life from somebody else's who you've shared so much with, whether you were married or not, even if you were together.

just for a few months, like it's painful. So I think as hard as it is, I think you can focus on the fact that you're doing something hard that's going to get you somewhere, hopefully better. I think we all have the tendency to think, if not this, then worse, meaning if this thing ends, whether it's a job or a relationship or whatever this situation is, we think, well, if it's not this, it's going to be terrible. I think I've talked about this before on the podcast, but I remember when I was newly sober, maybe two years sober, I was working in retail, managing this group of boutiques in L.A. and not making a lot of money. I was very proud of myself, though, proud of the job and proud of earning a paycheck and being self-supporting, essentially. But there were a lot of

issues with that job. And I knew it was time to leave, but I was terrified. And I'll never forget, I was sitting in the back room and I just couldn't picture my life as anything else. When you're going through it, you can't picture the future. And I remember one of the girls who I worked with was back there and she was talking to me and she said, Ariel, this isn't it. Like this is not it. Look around. This is not it for you. And it was so hard for me to see, but other people could see it.

and that can apply to any kind of transition. So I don't necessarily want to say, like, if not this, better, because relationships, I guess, like, we don't always have to compare it. So I'm thinking of my own situation. It's not like I'm coming out of this going, well, just going to find something better because that's not the case, like what the last six years were amazing. But it also doesn't mean that things are just going to be terrible

when you do make a change. So I don't know. I think that it might be hard for a while, but if you can try to shift your thinking towards, if not this, better or if not this, it'll still be great. Like this is opening me up to incredible things and opening me up to whatever the next chapter is.

I think that would be a tip of mine. I've been writing a lot, like not formal journaling, but just stream of consciousness, which really helps to process my emotions and see things written out in front of me, it always brings clarity and it always helps to remember why things are happening and whether you're the one who initiated the breakup or if you were broken up with or if it's mutual, it's still painful. And there's only one way out of that and it's to go through it. So I think back to my original point, like really just

allowing yourself to feel all of it. And then my other advice would be to fill your calendar with things you love. It doesn't even have to be with other people, although that is really helpful. But I think weekends can be the hardest. There's so much free time. So I will like schedule my day on the weekend, like, okay, I'm going to walk from 9 to 10.30 and call a few friends or walk with a friend. And then I'm going to go get this smoothie that I love. And then I'm going to, go to lunch with a friend and then I'm in a grocery shop and maybe I'll cook this recipe or get some work done and then go to the beach. Whatever it is, you can fill your time with doing things. Even if they're just mundane things, I think it helps to do so instead of just sitting

around like ruminating with nothing to do. But that said, there's definitely a balance between like being busy and being distracted and also allowing yourself to sit with the discomfort and feel the feelings. So I would just say allow yourself to do both. and try to get excited for what's coming because I still believe that things don't work out for a reason. And if you're going through this, it's just a time for you to grow and start a new chapter in your life. Pain is the touchstone of growth, right? There's also something in recovery that I learned when I got sober that I love. And it's basically an exercise where, like, you write down your ideal and a partner.

So like what you want in somebody else. Like you want someone who's warm and humble and generous and funny and ambitious, whatever it is. And you write it all down on paper and then you go out there and you embody all of that. Forget about the other person. You try to live up to that ideal. And I really like that it takes the focus off finding that person, like desperately seeking another person to, I don't know,

fulfill all of that and check all of those boxes. But instead becoming that person. And I really think you attract what you are. Water seeks its own level. So once you become that, I think you will attract that. So those would be my tips. But every day is different. So I think you've got to just know that and be flexible and like allow yourself to go through all of the different stages. So I drink kombucha all the time and I found out some information that it was a little unsettling recently. And that was that the vitamins and probiotics in premixed drinks and kombuchas actually deteriorate over time. So I found karma water. They are revolutionary because they store the probiotics, vitamins, antioxidants, and adaptogens in this patented protective push cap.

So basically when you're about to drink it, you just. push the push cap and it infuses the ingredients just seconds before drinking. And that way it ensures that all the nutrients, basically the reason why you're drinking the drink, are delivered at peak potency to deliver the greatest health benefits to you. So they currently have two lines. They have their karma probiotic water and then they have their karma wellness water. They are each formulated to deliver distinct wellness benefits in a variety of natural tropical flavors. All of the flavors are so good and perfect for summer. Karma water is vegan, non-GMO, gluten-free, lactose-free, as well as free of preservatives and artificial colors and sweeteners. And they contain 110% of seven

essential vitamins plus nourishing antioxidants and adaptogens, which can help the body adapt to mental and physical stress, soothe inflammation, and reduce fatigue. And if that weren't enough, karma probiotic water delivers 10 times more probiotic cultures than yogurt. aid in digestion and help boost metabolism and immunity. I know you guys are all about your gut health, so this is perfect for that. You can receive 20% off a case of karma water right now if you go to drinkcarma.com slash blondefiles. Again, that's drinkcarma.com slash blonde files for 20% off. By now we all know how important gut health is. It literally can impact everything from your mood, to your skin, your weight, and of course your digestion. And because your gut houses up to 80%

of your immune system, a healthy gut is truly the gateway to feeling your best. All of that said, there are so many things in our modern world now that are kind of wreaking havoc on our gut health from stress to environmental toxins, even just eating a lot of processed food. But thankfully, with Just Thrive probiotic, it's now easier than ever to give your gut what it needs to thrive. So Just Thrives Breakthrough award-winning probiotic is the only product on the market that's proven to turn your gut into an antioxidant factory. This probiotic actually produces antioxidants right in the gut, meaning you get maximum

immune, digestive, and total body health support. Also, it is vegan-friendly, gluten-free, dairy-free, histamine-free, and non-GMO. And the best part is you can open the capsule and sprinkle it into any food or drinks. I put it in my oatmeal. It is the perfect recipe companion to keep your whole family healthy. It survives at really high levels of heat so you can bake with it. You can also put it in something cold like a smoothie. This is a great option for if you are just starting out on a probiotic,

you don't have to take the whole thing or if you just have a more sensitive system, you can kind of build up incrementally. Just Thrive has been loudly endorsed by some of the biggest health luminaries on the planet it and you can learn more by listening to my episode with Tina Anderson back in April. She explains a lot of the science behind it and just gives you a lot of information on the probiotic and how it works. So right now you guys can save 15% off sitewide if you go to justthrivehealth.com and use the promo code blonde at checkout. Again, that's 15% off sitewide when you go to just thrivehealth.com and use the promo code blonde at checkout.

Someone asked how to break up with someone you love. I want to put a disclaimer that like I'm not talking about my relationship when I talk about this stuff. I'm not like saying that this is what happened. So don't speculate. This is just like in general relationship stuff from my perspective and my overall experience is not necessarily this experience right now. But I will say this is the toughest thing, I think. I think that it can be easier to end a relationship, obviously, if you are not in love anymore or if it's more contentious. I think it's harder when things are really good because you're constantly, constantly second guessing and doubting your decision. But if you are feeling like your heart just isn't in the relationship anymore, or if you're looking

elsewhere or whatever your reasons are for ending the relationship, I think the most loving thing you can do is to release that person, even though it'll be painful for them and it'll be painful for you. But I think in the long run, you're giving them a chance at happiness instead of like holding on for whatever your reasons are. And I know relationships are complicated and nuanced and it's not always as easy as saying like, I release you with love. You know, they're so complicated and people have reasons for staying in relationships where they're not fulfilled. And I get that. It's not my place to judge, basically. But I think deep down, we all know what's right for us and right for our partner. It's just a matter of whether

we are willing to act on that or not. I don't know if I'm answering this. I guess my answer is there's no easy way to do it. Again, back to my last answer. Like, it's going to be painful. The shit is painful no matter what. And you just have to endure some pain and discomfort. But I think arguably the more painful thing is prolonging a relationship that isn't right or isn't working anymore or your heart's not in it. Even if you are staying in that relationship for the other person, I don't think that's fair to the other person, even if they don't know. That's just my opinion on it. But again, like, shit is complicated, especially with finances and kids. And when your lives are really intertwined, it can be really hard to make the

decision to move forward with, like, splitting up. Okay. How to navigate judgment about the age gap in a relationship. You guys probably know my answer to this and just about other people's judgment in general, but I guess this is kind of relevant, like the judgment piece. So people are going to think whatever they want to think about you based on their own experiences, their insecurities, their opinions, their projections, et cetera. It really never has anything to do with you and it has everything to do with them. Like, if I think about times that I've judged somebody or taken pleasure in some like salacious gossip or even like judged an age gap relationship because I get it. I see pictures of like,

I don't know, David Foster and Catherine McPhee and I'm like, oh, okay, that's interesting because we're not used to seeing it. I guess I just didn't see us that way. But I get it like from the outside. It looks different and it's like a little bit eyebrow raising, I guess. So I am not above it. I've been there, but I know that I'm not doing that. I'm not really having that reaction when I'm super content and satisfied with my life and things are good. Like, when I'm good, I don't really have a reaction to any of that stuff. When I'm not good or even just like a little bit off, like then I'll start to get like more interested in the really like gossipy stuff and like just take more pleasure in that. So I think people will think about you or judge you for such a

brief moment in time like probably seconds if not like one minute. And then they're going to go back to obsessing about themselves. So definitely don't let that dictate your life. That is like my mantra just zero fucks at this point. So. I mean, in my relationship, I've talked about this before, but like we just decided early on we're either going to let it deter us or we're not. And I'm so glad we didn't because I would rather live my life, taking risks, following my heart. Even if it means experiencing loss too, I don't regret it for anything. And I never will. Like I would just rather take risks than stay safe and miss out on love and experiences and all of that. So it's on you to decide if you're going to let others dictate how you feel and how you live your life or not. Now that I feel like I'm getting a little preachy, it's kind of a buzzkill. Let's do a fun one. Not advice, but comment on Kim Kardashian saying she has no filler.

Well, I have some thoughts on this. I think we can all agree. This is absolutely absurd. We have eyes. If anybody in the legal field is listening to this, this is all a big allegedly, okay? But the thing that I don't understand about people who deny how. having work done is like there are receipts. I mean, anybody can Google, for example, Kim Kardashian before or Kim Kardashian-Yung or Kim Kardashian-20-10 or whatever. I'm using her as an example because

of this question, but the same thing goes for other deniers. Haley Bieber, for one, allegedly, Kendall Jenner, it's another one, allegedly speaking for myself. There's receipts, okay? So I'm not saying I'm a celebrity, okay, because people will constantly remind me that I'm not. I'm like, okay, I never said I was. I don't think I am. So Kendall Jenner is another one. I think her work is a lot more subtle. So I think she has more people fooled. Bella Hadid. I mean, and I want to say that this is not really shade because I understand not wanting to endure the criticism, like going back to my last question about the judgment

and all of that. It can be a lot. And I have received it on such a tiny scale because I'm not a celebrity, but I can't imagine being in that position. So I understand that aspect of it, but I don't think that's why they lie. I think they lie because they want people to think that they are perfect for whatever reason. And for that reason, I will throw shade because it's like completely gaslighting people, especially their younger fans. I have issues you guys know with like the two-a-day workouts when obviously there are surgeries and LAPO and all of that involved because young women and,

And probably young men, whatever, like we'll go out there and try to diet and work out multiple times a day thinking that that's going to achieve that body and it's just not. And they know that. So it just sets these unrealistic beauty standards. And it can be hard. I can't imagine how hard it is for younger people because it can be hard as an adult woman. I think we're all susceptible to comparing ourselves to these people who have access to the best everything, the best doctors, the best procedures, et cetera.

So that, I think, is problematic. And I always say, like, I don't know what the answer is because I also don't think that telling your 13-year-old superfan that you had a facelift is the healthiest thing either. But I don't know. With Kim Kardashian, I'm sure everybody remembers when she went on a talk show. I can't remember which one it was years ago saying, I don't have butt implants. Let's do an x-ray of my butt. See, no butt implants.

because of course an x-ray is not going to show fat transfer or BBL. So it's kind of a clever, sneaky way for her to not have to admit having work done because she didn't have that particular procedure done. I think she's kind of employing a similar tactic in this interview where she said she doesn't have filler. Maybe she doesn't have filler right now. But again, allegedly, this is just from having had a lot of these procedures myself and being able to recognize it in other people and just there are photos out there.

Like we have eyes, like I said. So it looks like multiple rhinoplasties, a lip lift, midface and necklift. You can go to IG Famous by Dana. She posts and stories about it. And there have been a couple really recently that she has showed scars. Looks like maybe fat transfer, cheek implants. I think maybe something to the jaw or chin surgically. Some eye surgery.

I always mix up canthopexy and canthoplasti. But one of those where the eye is kind of slanted up. So yeah, maybe there's no filler, but probably everything else under the sun. And I also think it's funny that in the same interview where she said all that, she was telling the interviewer that she has a running list of all the best doctors and that she would be a plastic surgery or aesthetics consultant if she wasn't famous or doing what she's doing now. So like, why would she have all this information if she's completely natural? Like, it just doesn't make sense.

And I guess she never said she was completely natural, but she basically attributed her entire. beauty regime to late-night lasers and a tiny bit of Botox, which is laughable. She also told the New York Times that she would eat poop every day if she knew that it would make her still look young. So like you're going to go to those lengths, but you're not going to get filler. Like that is just weird. That don't add up, right? So my thoughts are that it's just absurd. You don't even have to say what you've done specifically, although I think the more honest answer could have been like, I do Botox, I've done some filler in the past or whatever. Let's just say I have the best doctors and access to the best beauty procedures. I have a lot of help. I do it all. I love it all.

Or something like that. At least you're owning up to the fact that you're doing all this stuff and you're letting your fans know that you have a lot of help in that arena so people can manage expectations when it comes to themselves. Okay. Advice for anybody wanting to start out as an influencer and is it too saturated? People ask me this question all the time, especially about oversaturation and how to break into the industry. So when I started in 2016, it was obviously way different than it is now. But even then, it was considered a little bit late to break in as an influencer, I guess. Like there were already a lot of the big people kind of established, like the Ami songs and like the big fashion influencers.

And it was still pretty hard back then, at least for me, to build a following. I was pretty strategic about knowing what kinds of things went viral, which at the time were like before and after pictures, transformation pictures, pictures that Kayla had seen as the trainer with millions of followers would repost because you guys know when I started this account, it was kind of like a fitness accountability thing. And that was really how I grew a lot in the beginning. obviously a lot has changed since then.

And I think it is harder, especially on Instagram now, to grow. I mean, numbers-wise, I've only grown like 100,000 in the last several years, which is kind of depressing. But there are people who grow really fast, especially with reels. It feels like kind of a crapshoot. Now, with TikTok and sometimes with Instagram reels, although the conversion is a little bit different, there is more of an opportunity to really grow overnight, no matter who you are, it's kind of changing the influencer game where like anybody and everybody can be a

quote unquote influencer, especially on TikTok. And I think during this kind of transition period that we're in with social media, where the landscape is changing. Everybody who wants to be an influencer can be an influencer, whether it's a micro or macro. It's just changing the game. Our gut plays such a big role in so many different functions in our body. We know that it can influence our metabolism, our energy levels, our mood, our mental health, our skin. And it all depends on the balance between the good and the bad bacteria living in our gut. So if you are having kind of unexplained symptoms that you can't attribute to anything else in your life, I have been there. I definitely know how this is. Or if you're having more obvious symptoms,

like with your digestion. And you don't know where to start. The best place is by taking a gut microbiome test. Keen Health's gut plus microbiome testing kit is the perfect tool to give you the inside scoop on what's happening in your body all from the comfort of your home. Keen Health will give you a complete analysis of the health of your gut microbiome and how it may be affecting your overall health and wellness. Gut Plus will also give insight into your probiotic, prebiotic, and vitamin needs. And basically the best thing you can do for your gut is to stop guessing and start testing. This way you are not taking a bunch of different supplements. and doing different diets and whatever else you may be doing,

trying to treat the issue without actually knowing what's going on. I'm a big proponent of testing. I've done it in the past, and it really helped me to get clarity, figure out what to do, and take action in a really effective way. So right now, Keene Health is offering 20% off with the code blonde. All you have to do is visit keenehealth.com. That's K-E-A-N-Halth.com. and the code is blonde, B-L-O-N-D-E, for 20% off.

Again, keenhealth.com with the code blonde. Summer is here, and for so many people, that means that we are booked and busy. There are weddings, vacations, parties, happy hours, brunches, lunches, dinners, park hangs, pretty much anything and everything. And trying to have a cute wardrobe that is constantly changing for all of these things can be really difficult to maintain. And it can also be really expensive. So this is where Newley comes in. Newly is a subscription clothing rental service. And for just $88 a month, you get your choice of any six styles each month. You get access to thousands of styles from more than 300 brands,

everything from party dresses to premium denim to one-of-a-kind vintage pieces. They also have fast, free shipping and returns and professional cleaning in Newley's state-of-the-art laundering facility, so you don't have to worry about laundry. And you also have the option to buy what you love at a discount. Newley has everything that you need to bring your closet up to speed for the summer. You can stock up on new dresses for events without breaking the bank. You can say yes to the current summer trends like Y2K throwbacks, sets, checker print, crochet, without feeling that fast fashion ick. Renting through Newly also means getting to wear more, sometimes thousands of dollars worth of clothing while spending way less. And it's just designed to give you everything

that you need to get inspired, get creative, and explore your style. You can check out new trends, silhouettes, and sizes without any commitments. Newley is already a great value at only 80s. $98 a month for any six styles. But right now you can get $10 off your first month of newly. When you sign up with the code blonde 10, just go to newly.com. That's N-U-U-L-Y, newly with two-U's.com, and enter the code blonde 10 and sign up to get $10 off your first month. Again, newly.com, newly with two U's with the code blonde 10. Newly subscription clothing rental, change your clothes. So whether somebody can monetize that and make it a career, that's going to vary. I think you'll either need good management and there are management firms for micro influencers as well as macro influencers or teach yourself the ins and outs of the business. There's a lot of TikTok videos on this

about rates and analytics, insights, how to determine your rates based on engagement, how to negotiate based on analytics, all of that. But it is, I think, something that is better left to professionals. And also, size of your audience doesn't determine how lucrative your business is going to be. There are people with millions upon millions of followers who can't really charge a good rate because there's no conversion. Or, I mean, I can just think of like an Instagram model, for example, who might have 15 million followers, but they're all, you know, dudes all over the world who aren't going to buy what she's selling. Well, that's not a good investment for a brand. So they're not going to be able to charge that much. Whereas somebody who maybe has 50,000 followers, just for example, but they do have a community and it's 98% women between the ages of, you know, X and Y. And they are engaged with that community. They're going to be able to charge more. So, So just learn the nuances of the business. I think it's a good idea no matter what as you're building. And then obviously aim for the goal of signing with a management company so that they can negotiate all of that for you and make sure that you're getting the best deals. But that brings me to saturation. So I think because so many people want to be influencers or just monetize their lives, which is what I'm seeing a lot of on TikTok, I think that's kind of where we're heading when I say like everybody can be an influencer. Even with podcasts, there are millions of podcasts. now compared to when I started a few years ago, there were still a lot, hundreds of thousands,

maybe like around 800,000, I think, when I started, but not millions. So I think you have to have a unique perspective and set yourself apart from everyone else. I was actually talking to talk about this a couple days ago because the same thing happened with television. I mean, when he first started 30 plus years ago, there were so few options on TV compared to now when you know, arguably there are too many options you can get like this paralysis of choice and just end up not watching anything. So I asked him how that has changed his approach to his work given all of the competition. And he basically just said like you just have to work that much harder to keep people's eyes and ears on you. And the same thing applies on the internet and social media, which for me doesn't necessarily mean working harder like,

24-7 around the clock, burning yourself out, creating content, although that does happen. But I think working smarter and really honing in on creating content that sets you apart from your peers or just brings your unique experience and perspective to your audience. So it's valuable to your audience. I mean, I make lifestyle montage videos with audio that I find on TikTok. There's a lot of other people doing that. but it's not 100% of my content. So you just have to be strategic about it. So I think really nowadays what I notice is that people connect the most to your story. So I think writing down your story and some

bullet points of things that you've been through, things you've learned, what you can offer as a result of that is a good place to start and build content around that. And I again, keep bringing up TikTok. I mean, it's just, I think a good place to start now because the opportunity for growth there is just like any, I mean, unlike any other platform. Although I think as far as monetization and community building, it's still really valuable to have a presence on Instagram too. But you can largely recycle TikTok content for Instagram now with Reels if you're doing it in a smart way.

So now I feel like I'm kind of rambling on this topic. But I think long story short, I don't think it's ever too late to break into an industry, especially because of saturation. I think if anything, the saturation kind of means that there's like more of a demand, more of an opportunity to reach a community of people who want to hear what you have to offer. You just have to be really consistent and really persistent and know what you're offering and understand that while for some people it really does happen overnight for others and maybe for yourself, it will take a lot of time and work.

I am very excited to partner with my next sponsor, Recreation Sweat, because it is the company of my Instagram friend Rachel DeVoe, aka Rachel's Good Eats, who I'm sure so many of you guys follow. So I've been using some of these products, especially the bands and the sliders, since they first came out. And something I love about Recreation Sweat really is that they make the highest quality fitness products and accessories and guides. Rachel is a certified trainer, and I'm sure, as most of you know, if you follow her on Instagram, she develops and tests everything so that every move, every guide, and every product is thoughtful

and tried and true and has her stamp of approval. The other amazing thing about recreation sweat is that they really empower people to work out anytime, anywhere. They don't require heavy equipment. It's perfect for travel. It's really good for people who are short on time, moms, students, no matter what your circumstances are. Their hero product is the banded body guide. So it's 30 workouts under 30 minutes, including 15 mini burnouts.

And you can stack them. So the workouts can be stacked together based on your desired training time or muscle group, which I absolutely love. Another thing that I'm going to be trying is the 30-day jump rope challenge. I've seen Rachel do it. she makes it look really easy, obviously. I know that it's not, but this is like an alternative to running, jogging. It's just a different kind of cardio that I haven't tried. And they also have a jump rope that goes along with this 30 day challenge. So if you guys want to join me in that, definitely check that out. So right now, you can use the code blonde at checkout for 20% off your first

purchase. Just go to recreation sweat.com for more information. Again, that's recreation sweat.com and the code is blonde for 20% off your first purchase. This podcast is supported by BetterHelp, how we care for our minds affect how we experience life. So it's super important to invest time and care into keeping our minds healthy. I think we talk a lot about what we can do for our bodies, but our minds are as important, if not even more important than maintaining our bodies. So there are plenty of ways to support efforts. healthy brain like learning a new language or meditating or getting adequate rest. And then there's also BetterHelp online therapy. So given everything that I have been dealing with lately, therapy has been a

huge helpful tool for me. I'm a proponent of it, whether you're going through something difficult or not. It can be super useful and effective no matter where you are in your life. BetterHelp is online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat-only therapy sessions. So you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. It's also much more affordable than in-person therapy. And you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. So right now, my listeners can get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash files. That's betterhelp.com slash files. Again, 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com slash files. Tips on how to get back into or start a routine and stay motivated.

This is kind of more of a Q&A than advice. Most of the questions are just questions, though. They're not advice on specific things. Okay. I always recommend like making or building your routine with really manageable pieces and just doing a little bit at a time, adding a little bit at a time because when you try to overhaul everything at once, chances are you're going to feel like you have failed if you don't do it all, and then you're

just going to fall back into old habits. So I love incorporating things into your day that you know you can do and then you can build off of that. So something that Lisa, the therapist, who I had on my show last week said, really resonated. We were talking about grounding techniques. And she recommended like inserting them into your day like snacks and meals. And I just loved that analogy. So I'm going to borrow it for an answer. So if you think about habits that you want to have or elements that you want to incorporate into your daily routine, break them up into snacks and meals and fit them into your day that way. So maybe you want to meditate or you want to have some kind of stillness in the morning, but you're starting from nothing. You could, for example, start with two minutes of sitting in silence or doing a two minute meditation on headspace or something. And that's a snack. And then maybe you want to start. walking or working out, but you've been struggling with consistency or again, you have no workout routine right now. Maybe start with a 10 minute Pilates or sculpt class. There are so many platforms now or a 10

minute walk. And that could be like a meal. Then if you want to do something grounding during the day, I'm really taking this analogy and running. If you want to do something grounding during the day, but you don't have much time, you could do like a five minute walk around the block or you can eat your lunch outside, there's a snack or a meal, whatever you want to call it, or reading before bed, snack or a meal. You get the idea. It's just like this visual of sprinkling things into your day, the same way that you would something else that is kind of like a non-negotiable. So I just think the most important thing is to not be like, okay, starting tomorrow, I am going to wake up at five instead of eight, and I'm going to do a 45-minute hit class, and then I'm going to walk 12,000 steps.

and I'm only going to eat a whole unprocessed food and I'm going to drink 47 gallons of water and then I'm going to get off my phone at 5 and I'm going to bed at 8. Like, no. Write down what your habits or what your routine is now and then write down what you want it to be and then just pay attention to the difference and write down like manageable and realistic ways that you can start building to where you want to be. So I feel like we kind of forget about this, but when it comes to this stuff, there's literally no final destination here where anybody feels like, okay, I'm doing everything

perfectly and we'll do so for the rest of my life. Like, I don't think anybody is like, okay, level 10 unlocked, this is where I'm going to be forever. I've done it and it's perfect. No, it's always evolving and fluctuating and life happens. So you've got to be flexible and just notice where you can make changes and work on building the habits that you, want to have that support you and make you feel good. I guess kind of to that point, my current morning and night routine. So my morning is a little different because I have the morning to myself. So I have been using it to work. And then I like to take a break kind of when most people's days are starting. So it's just kind of what's working for me right now. Like I was saying before,

these things change and evolve. And there's no right or wrong. I definitely have been in a place before where like I get up, I do my meditation, all of that. I walk or I work out. I don't get on my phone or I try not to. I eat breakfast and then I start my workday at like a normal hour. But right now that's not what's working for me. So I get up around 6 or 6.30. I'll have my macha in bed and do some meditation, maybe some breath work, like just the 10

minute Wim Hof breathing for beginners, which you can find on YouTube. So it's pretty quick. It's like 20, 30 minutes total for me to do all of that. And then that brings me to like 7 a.m., which is when I'll start working, whether that's doing emails, finding people to book on the podcast now that I'm doing seven episodes a month. It's a constant, constant thing. Or I'll be doing outreach for the podcast, writing ad copy, planning an interview, editing, coming up with content ideas for TikTok or Instagram, editing or posting for TikTok or Instagram. This is usually the time of day that I am the most focused. So I really utilize this time to just do whatever is a priority. that day. And then I'll take a break around like 9 or 9.30, go for a walk for an hour outside. And then I come back and I'll have a snack before I walk. Come back and have breakfast and continue working through the day. But I take breaks and I'll like go get a smoothie or go sit outside and call or FaceTime a friend or go work out with Harley or whatever. I don't just power through

until the end of the day. Typically, I try to finish working around 6 or 630. So that varies depending on how much like sponsored content I have and deadlines and whatever's going on that day. But for the most part, I try to really be done by six or six 30. And then I can shift towards doing things that are good for my mental health. So my nighttime routine lately is I will either see friends or do something for my recovery. And then I will do my skincare routine when I'm done for the night, which I like to do listening to either juicy scoop, my fave, or armchair expert. It's kind of my nighttime thing now. Like, I'll do my skincare, listen to a podcast, shower, get in bed, and then I'll read for like 30 minutes to an hour, and then I go to sleep. Okay. How to focus and stay productive. I think we feel this pressure to be

productive all the time now because we're constantly seeing what other people are doing and achieving. And it can feel like if you stop being productive, you are going to fail or you're going to fall behind. And it's just this really unsustainable pace, I think, to life. So what has worked for me is kind of like I was just saying, like finding out what my strong points are and maximizing on that. So for me, I just don't thrive workwise right now waiting until 9 a.m. Like my ideas and my brain, everything's firing really early. So I love going with that momentum. And I know during that time I'm super focused.

Then I can kind of go shake that out of my system once I feel like I've hit a wall or I'm getting a little burnt out. I remember Dr. John D'all, he's the neurosurgeon and neuroscientist who was on my podcast a few months ago. Actually, maybe it was beginning of the year. I'm losing track of time. But I remember he said, like, we're not meant to power through the day nonstop. But we can definitely power through chunks of time. So find where those times are in your day and capitalize that. and put your phone on, do not disturb, or like, turn on some music, light a candle, do whatever

you have to do to feel focused in those moments. Obviously, I am essentially my own boss so I can largely be in control of my own schedule. And that is not the reality for a lot of people. But if you can apply some of these principles, even if it's just scheduling in some breaks during the day so that you can replenish and then you have more energy for those productive chunks, then I think do that. I also think time blocking is super helpful if you're feeling really scattered. So if you can group similar tasks into their own chunks of time, that really helps to not feel like you're distracted and being pulled in a lot of different directions. Okay. I'm going to try to do some rapid fire, maybe some lighter ones, because I feel like this

episode ended up being a little serious, but this might be hard to like pick and choose which ones will end up being light. Okay. Does meditation help with intuitive eating? In my experience, Yes, it did because it helped me really tune in to myself and my feelings. And I always talk about this, but I feel like we just blaze through our days. We're distracted 24-7. And when you are not really feeling what's really going on, you're not in tune with yourself. You are not going to have cues when it comes to like hunger and fullness and all of that. Again, in my experience. So for me, Meditation really helped me to slow down and it kind of carried over into all aspects of my life and that included eating as well. Can microneedling do what Botox does? Okay, I'm not a professional,

but Botox is a neuromodulator. It works basically by like paralyzing the targeted muscle that it's injected into. Microneedling is more of a surface thing where it can help stimulate collagen, help with tone, texture, all of that, but it's not going to affect. the muscle. Somebody said, I'm 33, but I look 43, only in my under eyes. What are my options? Again, not a doctor, but I like to think I am. So without seeing a picture, there are different treatments for different concerns under the eyes. If it's just some creepiness, some wrinkling, Botox can be a nice option. Filler can be a nice option. If there are bags, then you might want to look into a blephoroplasty. If it's just excess skin, there's something called a skin pinch.

I think if you go back and listen to my episode with Dr. Amir Karam, we talk about different solutions for the under-eyes. Being 30 and newly single, I have no advice because I am older than 30, and here we are. How do I get my boyfriend of seven years to propose? I think this might sound a little harsh. I don't think you want to get somebody to propose because then you're going into it with some resentment, with some issues. I think that person has to want to propose. I think maybe if they don't know how important it is to you, there's a way that you can bring that up and just say like marriage is something that's really important to me and are we on the same page here kind of thing? But seven years is a long time. And I'm assuming you've had that conversation before and the boyfriend knows it's important to you. So I don't know.

That's tricky. But I don't think that you want to get somebody to do it. To get a breast augmentation or not, I think that is totally up to you. I would just say do all the research to find out what your best option is. And I don't know. That's such a personal decision. So I can't really answer that one. How do you know when drinking isn't serving you anymore? I would say stop drinking and see what comes up.

That was very revealing for me when I did try. to stop. Obviously, you guys probably know my story. It got to the point where I didn't really have an option whether I stopped or not. But I think for people who are like more moderate drinkers or even if you binge drink or whatever, but you're not like a 24-7 round the clock drinker like I was, the way that you can kind of gauge where your relationship with alcohol is is by trying to stop drinking. And yeah, see what that brings up. Process it if you're in therapy or do some journaling. I think that's always very helpful. Where do I get my fashion? and inspo. You know, I get asked this question a lot and I really feel like my style has always been

one specific thing. I've always liked exactly what I liked. It's always been kind of like classic, neutral, but with like a twist. So I don't really get too trendy except for in like shoes and bags and stuff like that. But when it comes to actual fashion, I feel like, yeah, I've always just kind of had the same style. Obviously, it evolves a little bit. And I kind of go with the trends here and there as far as like silhouettes and stuff like that. But I don't even know where the inspo comes from. I guess right now it's teenagers. You guys know I'm in my adult teenager phase. Maybe I'm having like a midlife crisis. There are certain celebrities, very young celebrities like Haley Bieber, whose style I always love.

There are certain stylists that I follow that I like. But for the most part, I just kind of see something I like and I buy it. How to Stop Comparing Our Looks with Others. This is so hard and it's so hard to manage the inputs that are coming in. But we do have so much control in regards to like what we're seeing with who we follow and And that is going to kind of dictate what we see on our explore pages and stuff like that. We can kind of hone that a little bit. So I would definitely recommend going through who you follow, muting people if you have to,

unfollowing if you have to, if you find yourself on the explore page and it's all Kardashians, like mine has been at some points, or all Haley Bieber or all like little Thottianas, whatever it is that's like bothering you. I would say go in there and you can, you know, click. not interested or I don't want to see this. I can't remember the phrasing on Instagram. Same thing on TikTok. When I get like just anything that's like mildly triggering, I'll just hit not interested and you are kind of shaping the algorithm. Obviously things are going to get through. But I think we sometimes forget how much control we do have. Obviously like media and all of that

we're inundated with a lot of this stuff anyway. So that's like obviously the most obvious component to the comparison piece. But then there's also like the inner work. And I always find for myself personally, if I am directing a lot of my energy outwards and thinking about like, what am I putting out there? What am I doing for other people? What can I do for the people in my life today? In return, I'm building my self-esteem that way. I'm very much less prone to comparison and like getting into a depression about that. Not depression. you know what I mean. Okay. How to wake up and not reach for the phone? I have no fucking idea. Okay. This is one of those things that I aspire to. I hear like motivational people on other interviews and podcasts

talking about how the most critical part of their day is the first 30 minutes and they don't reach for their phone and but but I am not that person. I hope to be one day, but I'm just not. I think obviously if you can have it in a different room, that can help. And if you have things that you do in the morning, whether it's journaling, meditation, all of that, it's good to build those things in. I do those things and I still get on my phone first thing in the morning. I think it's just becoming less realistic. I don't know.

If you guys figure it out, let me know. Is it ever okay to reach out to an X? Without context, this is so hard to answer. But in general, I think yes. I think we can have healthy relationships with our exes. I mean, again, not to speak to my situation too much, but like we are such good friends right now, so I can't imagine not reaching out to an ex. If that relationship was toxic, then we're getting into different territory.

But I think that people can be friends with exes and that it can be okay to reach out, depending on the circumstances. How to help my man be more healthy without being a nag? This was a struggle in my relationship. Kind of in the beginning. Like, I kind of stopped trying as the years went on. But my strategy was always to add things and not take things away. So I never wanted to be the food police.

I never wanted to take away something that would bring him joy. Okay. How did I know I didn't want kids? So growing up, I just always kind of assumed that I would get married and have kids. I never really thought about whether I wanted them or not. And obviously, throughout my 20s, when a lot of people my age were getting into serious committed relationships, getting engaged, settling down, all of that, I was not doing that. So eventually when I got sober, I was talking to

somebody and I think it was around when I turned 30 and I was kind of having that existential crisis that you have when you turn 30 and you think you're ancient and your life is over and I was like, should I freeze my eggs? I don't know what to do. And this person said to me, well, do you even want kids? And nobody had really ever asked me that before. So I had never really thought about it before. And I just realized like, no, I just don't see myself with kids. Obviously, at this point in my life, that could change. I still don't want them.

But like, does that mean that I would not be open to it if like I was dating somebody and they had a kid or, you know, who knows, maybe in five years meet somebody and decide that I want them. I don't know. So I'm not saying never, ever, ever, because I just have no idea how life will turn out, but I don't want them now. This person got accepted for her master's in the US, but her partner doesn't want to go. I say go, do you, if this is important to you, go and take that opportunity and your partner should understand that it's important to you and want to support you regardless of whether they want to go or not. Hopefully you guys can make it work long term.

But I would think that your partner wants you to follow your dreams. And if it's important to you, then it should be important to them. All right. My brain is officially mush. I hope that was somewhat helpful, somewhat entertaining. And just thank you. I feel like the people who listen to my podcast, like I feel like I'm the closest to you guys, even though I can't see you, but I just get in general the most supportive messages and it's just

like such an honor to be part of people's day in this way. I don't know. I'm feeling kind of emo right now. So I just appreciate you guys listening and the support. And I'll be back Wednesday. All right. Love you. I hope you enjoyed that episode. If you liked it and if you like the show in general, please take a second to rate, review, and subscribe. It goes a long way, and it's actually the best way to support the show. Also, if you want to see more about each episode, you can head over to The Blonde Files podcast on Instagram. I'm always posting about each episode there,

or over on my personal page at Ariel Lorry.