Well with Arielle Lorre - 19: AUBRE WINTERS - No One Is You and That Is Your Power

Episode Date: August 21, 2019

In this episode Arielle talks to Aubre Winters about navigating the pressure, competition and expectations in the professional dance and fitness worlds; walking through fear and fear of judgement; and letting go of what we think we should be and aligning with our true purpose. They also discuss the pros and cons of social media, modern communication, and how to stay out of the comparison trap. Aubre has such an inspiring story of growth and while your circumstances may be different, you will find yourself relating to her feelings navigating career and personal pressure in today's world.  Follow Aubre here: http://www.instagram.com/aubrewinters Follow Arielle here: http://www.instagram.com/ariellelorre  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Go to your reisadviceur orsonicars. I'm ARIAL-Lori, and this is the Blonde Files podcast. where I talk to experts, influencers, and inspirational people in the world of wellness and beyond. My guest today is Aubrey Winters, and I have to say I really love this episode. It might be one of my favorites. I love all of them. They're all my little babies, special in their own way, but I found myself really identifying with Aubrey's story,

not the circumstances. We have totally different lives, but with the feelings and with the challenges and some of the triumphs that she's gone to. And I just found myself really connecting to it. And I think you will too. So a little about Aubrey. She grew up dancing. She wanted to be a professional dancer.

So she moved to L.A. to pursue that. She's going to get into her story and what happened. But she ended up working in the fashion industry for a short period of time. teaching fitness and then developing her own group fitness class called sweat sessions and she's going to get into everything so I will not bore you guys with a long intro and I hope you love the episode okay so I'm here with Aubrey Winters hi Aubrey hi guys and Kennedy Meek sorry hello hello hey girl hey I don't have a voice today so Kennedy is a little under the weather but we were saying, or at least I was saying, I like a sick voice. I don't know. I like my voice

when I'm sick. I can tolerate it more. It's me out for sure. A little deep, raspy, it's a little sensual. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Kennedy is bringing the sensual energy today to the podcast. Oh my gosh. Hit me up. Yeah. Slide in her DMs. But don't actually. Well, hey, you never know. I've actually, I saw somebody. On Instagram, I can't remember who, who just got married over the weekend to a guy that she met in her DMs. So, I recently had a guy reach out in my DMs saying, can I come get sweaty with you and then take you to nobu after? And I was like, I mean, I'm not opposed, but no. Like, how about the no boo part?

Tempting, but. Have you ever gotten like the sugar baby proposals? I get a few of those. I actually haven't. No. But I've heard it. I've heard. Yeah.

these foreign dudes are like I'll buy you everything and I'm like you don't have money though and they're like but really there's nothing in it for me I just will buy you everything it's happened to one of my friends oh god yeah thanks no thanks it's so tempting you don't really read your DM that much or the you don't read the mass amount of them so I try to um and I don't mean this and like a so many people message me but like on top of everything else because I try to respond to every comment and then being on stories and then doing all the other work with this and with content. And then your email. It's a lot.

Yeah, which I'm terrible at, as you know. And so, yeah, I try to respond to as many DMs as I can. But, like, the other thing is that sometimes you do and then these whole conversations start. And it's like, okay, I don't want to be rude, but like I can't sit here and like text all day, you know. So it's hard. How are you with your actual texting? Terrible. Yeah.

Horrible. I was talking to someone the other day. I was like, it used to be like the best when you'd get a text and, and like I would always respond. Now I respond two days later and I feel like such a jerk, but I feel like that's common these days. I know. It's so, I always wonder though, because I'm like, I mean, you know, I have a following and I'm very like tight-knit with my community. But, you know, even for you, like, you have such a large following and I'm always wondering, like, how do people do it? Because I know how terrible I am with it and responding to people's text messages like days later.

I also keep my phone on Do Not Disturb because when I'm teaching during the week, it's just, and when I'm trying to work and email and do all the things, it's just so much to be getting messages and calls in. But then I just feel like such a flake. And I'm like, gosh, it's always my intention to be better with my text because I feel like those are the people that I need to be responding to the most or prioritizing. But it is a lot with the emails and the DMs and commenting. It's crazy.

It really is. I've been trying because at night, like I'll do kind of like a like a roundup of my day. like what was good, what could I work on? And what could I do better is a question that I try to answer. And I'm always like, I could have responded to all of my texts. And sometimes I'll text people back at 11 because I'm like, oh, shit. Like I just remembered. Yeah.

But, yeah. I feel like a good thing that I was doing and then I realized, actually, no. I was trying to wake up in the morning, give myself a little bit of like a moment in the morning where I'm not right on my phone, but then take like 30, minutes to just get back to people, whether it's in text or DMs or whatever. And then I read something on Instagram. It was from one of those really big, like inspirational guys. I think his name is like Stephen on Instagram or something. And he was like, think about this. Like you are choosing to wake up in the morning and get to get back to thousands of people, hundreds of people, rather than just like going

inwards and like doing what you need to do to set yourself up for an awesome day. Like how how much is that chitter chatter like affecting your morning? And like, having that responsibility of being in touch with that many people. And I was like, gosh, you're right. I need to just, like, stay off the gram in the morning and, like, maybe make it an afternoon exercise or an evening exercise where then you start to, like, incorporate those, like, conversations. But it's just so much.

Yeah. That's a really good point. Because then you're, you're starting your day not being, like, firmly rooted in reality and, like, the present. Like, and your energy is going everywhere else, but exactly, where it should be going. Yeah. The other thing that I find that's hard is that I think because people see me on like Instagram or on Instagram stories, people who text me like think that I'm just free to talk all day because I'm

not doing anything. And I'm just sitting on Instagram and I'm like, no, no, no. That's not how it happens. So yeah, it's like we see you on your phone. We see you. We see you on here. I'm like, I know, but like it's not like that. But like how many apps do I have to check like on an hourly basis?

Yeah. texting is in that list but it's towards the bottom yeah every time yeah it's a balance for sure it's yeah it's hard out here so let's rewind yeah and kind of go back you we were talking a little bit before you're not from here so where are you from yeah what was it like of the kids yeah um so i grew up in Kansas, Overland Park, Kansas. I, you know, just like a Midwest gal doing Midwest things. I was a dancer my whole life. I always knew that I wanted to settle in a city. Growing up, my dad worked out of town, so we were always flying into Chicago and then going to visit my dad. He was working in Green Bay, Wisconsin at the time for most of my life. So we were kind of always going to Chicago,

spending a few days in the big city. My mom is from there and then driving to see my dad. So I got really used to this like on the go lifestyle from a really young age. We were always kind of like in and out of school and taking trips to just see my dad every other weekend. And so, you know, through high school, you know, we were still in Kansas and then I was like, I want to go out of state for school. So I went to University of Arizona where I studied dance. And once I graduated, my parents had moved back to Chicago and I was kind of like I could either, you know, go to Chicago and be close to my family or let's go to L.A. what the dance scene is like out there. So I ended up going that route. And it was definitely a culture shock. Like even when I went to college in Arizona, I remember going to visit with my mom and just

being like, oh my God, where am I? The scenery is so different. I will say growing up in Kansas, it was I feel very grounded just being from a place where people are just, you know, they're all about like connection and there's not a lot to do there. So it's just like getting to hang out with your friends and doing silly things at sleepovers and just really like grounded. I don't know, lifestyle. And, you know, going to college in Arizona, I showed up to school, and I'm around all these, like, very beautiful tan blondes from California and very, like, surfer style. And it was just so different. And then moving to L.A. was just a whole other eye-opening experience. So, yeah. So you were dancing from a really young age?

Yes. Always was in class. You know, did, like, dance team in high school. and then moved to when I went to Arizona I was like kind of in this in-between of wanting to have my social life and be you know in a sorority and then also wanting to pursue my dance stuff too so I ended up doing both in college and then when I graduated I wanted to there's kind of that you can either go like more of the company route with your dance or you can go more of the industry route and doing you know movies and TV shows and music videos and all that stuff so that's kind of what my calling was so when so you came out to L.A. right after college and what were you doing? Did you get a job right away? Yeah so my first job in L.A. was working at Katsuya as a hostess.

I love Katsuya oh so good the one in Glendale I like moved to Hollywood and at that time my number one goal was to get with an agency and just kind of jump into the dance scene. I talk about this often, but it was just I was weighing over my head. I always believed that I was like a very talented dancer, but it's so much more moving out to L.A. It's all about like who you know and what you look like and you're kind of just dumped into this pool of thousands of other people going after the same dream and the same thing that you want. And I wasn't as grounded as I thought I was when I moved out here and kind of got into that scene. It was really, really crazy. So yeah, I was working on the side at Katsuya. I was doing auditions. I ended up signing with an agent and going to class all the time and just auditioning.

And through that is actually how I found fitness too. So it's kind of funny looking back now because you look at all the like little steps and the little paths that you choose and how they all get you to be exactly where you are right now. And I'm grateful for that. I'm really curious about being in the environment from a young age, like the dance environment. I know, Kennedy, you were in that too, and you've shared with me, like, how much pressure there was.

And I would imagine, like, also, like you said, going to Arizona where, like, girls that are notoriously beautiful at that school. And then coming out to L.A. and being in this competitive thing where a lot of it is based on not only talent, but how you look. So how did that pressure affect you and how did you navigate that? Yeah, it was really hard. I mean, I think that I started in

college when I went to UVA, I definitely had moments where I felt like I wasn't pretty enough. I wasn't skinny enough. I wasn't good enough at dance. I shouldn't have been recruitment chair because I wasn't the prettiest girl in my sorority. You know, all those things like kind of go through your head. But I will say my, just the way that I felt to moment. myself when I moved to LA it like totally went downhill. It was a struggle for me for many years. I would say it wasn't up until maybe the last like two or three years where I've really started to own who I am and feel comfortable in my own skin. We all go through these uphill, you know, battles with how we feel on the inside and comparing ourselves to one another. I think with dance,

the hardest thing for me was I wanted it so bad. So I was really willing to do anything to get certain jobs or to show up to auditions looking the part. So it was whether I had to step out of my comfort zone and wear really short booty shorts and a crop top and push my tits up to my chin and wear combat boots and look like that hot girl that I never felt like I was. Or, you know, having my agent be like, we need you to like kind of lose this amount of weight or color your hair like this or give us a like short chop on your hair. So you're a little more of the edgy girl, which I've never been either. Well, maybe sometimes. but not really.

So yeah, I think that up and down of just always kind of having to feel like I had to conform to be someone that I wasn't in order to get somewhere that I really wanted to be, it was very confusing. Yeah. Did it benefit? I mean, did it work?

Did you get any jobs because of it or anything like that? I mean, I definitely booked jobs in my dance career. I was never really getting the jobs that I wanted. I think a lot of it too. I got so wrapped up in comparing myself to other people. It was hard for me to show up at auditions and feel really confident in the work that I was doing. I would always look around and it'd be like my turn to go up. And we basically had to the dance auditions how they work is like,

well, sometimes they were smaller calls. Sometimes they were larger calls. At the larger calls, I might be in a room with 400 other girls who are 5, 7 and blonde, you know. And so I always remember like I would feel so confident learning the combination and be like, oh my gosh, I have this in the bag. And then I'd start to see all these other women go out and crush the audition. And then it'd be my turn and I would completely lose my shit.

And so, yeah, I mean, I definitely, I don't know, I just never could get it together. I always felt really self-conscious. I knew that I was good at dance. I'd go to class and be like, hell yeah, I've got this. And then you're just comparing yourself to other people. I really just never felt comfortable in my own skin. So it affected me very negatively. Yeah.

Because I just could not show up. I could not get my shit together. Yeah. How did you function? I mean, it was confusing for many years. I was very confused in my 20s. I, you know, I always knew so deeply. I'm like, I have to be a dancer.

This is all I've ever known. Like, this is it. I didn't study anything else in college. I was into fashion and I was into fitness. I was teaching Pura Bar 2. I'm at career evolved we can talk about that but um you know I was really I moved to L.A. to pursue a career and dance and so it was very confusing when I wasn't booking jobs and I would always just go back to I've been doing this since this since I was three how am I not how is this not working you know

and so now I look back though and I'm like well it wasn't working because there was something else bigger in the mix for you there was something else out there for you but um yeah I mean it was it was confusing and it was really hard for me yeah I definitely felt like I was like what is my purpose in this life yeah you know I went to college for this I studied my whole life and now I'm I'm not I'm not succeeding at this in fact I felt like I was failing every single day yeah yeah I can't imagine the feeling because I know how it is to feel like you have to get something and this is the only thing and you're kind of operating out of fear and that's kind of like frenetic energy like this has to happen otherwise you know whatever and and when it doesn't happen

I mean that's where the growth happens and that's where in hindsight you can always see how it was kind of like guiding you to the right thing but it's exhausting so on top of all of that yeah I can't imagine so how long was your dance career yeah so I did it for four and a half years out here okay and yeah to your point I think I was like trying to make it work so so so so much and then finally when I started to let it go, so many other things started to flourish. It's like that portal opened. And it was like, all right, this is time to explore Aubrey and do all these little things, even if they feel off of what I thought my path was supposed to be in order to figure out what my path is really supposed to be. You know? So yeah. So what did that look like? So around 27, I was pursuing dance. I was

working at Pure Bar. I was a studio manager in Beverly Hills and I was also working at free people on the side like doing like a little visual merchandising on the retail side and dipping my toes into all these things and I guess in the back of my mind kind of trying to set myself up for like what does my future look like. You know if dance doesn't work out I'm like teaching fitness and working at free people could this take me somewhere. So one day I just kind of woke up and I was like, whoa you're managing a studio your eyes are closed basically every single day you're just kind of aimlessly going through life obrey like it wasn't like i showed up to class like i do now just so passionate ready to like get people moving back in the day it was very much so like oh here's the

curriculum for purebar here's what it takes to be a purebar instructor i'm going to show up i'm going to teach the class i'm going to like connect with the people and you know say all the things and then just like check out the second that i left and then it was kind of the same thing with free people like that was just an aimless thing that I took on. I've always loved fashion, but I, I mean, I didn't know really what I was doing there. They'd be like, you want more hours? And I'd be like, no. I'm going to go dance, but not book anything. Cool. Um, so I woke up one morning. It was just like, what, what am I doing? So I ended up applying for some full-time jobs. I was like, maybe I should go the corporate route. All my friends were doing that. It felt like it'd be really nice for once to have

a salary and to have vacation days and a structured schedule, all of the things. And I applied for a job at Forever 21 headquarters. I got it. And I was like, this is it. I'm about to make it back. We went into the fashion industry. So I did visual merchandising and styling for Forever 21 headquarters. And that was kind of like the start of, it was funny because, I mean, that job was not meant for me at all. and I realized that very, very quickly. But it was the start of me, like, finding my self-confidence. I remember crying to my best friend when I decided that I wanted to get a full-time job. I was like, no one is going to hire me.

I'm literally, like, I've never had a full-time job. I'm 27. What am I? What these people are going to look at my resume and laugh. And she's like, Aubrey, look at all the things that you've done through your 20s. Like, all the things that you do at your auditions, the way you connect with people at your classes, the things that you do at work at free people. like use those, put those things on your resume. And once we did, I was like, wow, I actually am

equipped to like work a full-time job. I just needed to like have someone there to like believe in me and help me see all these things on paper. You know what I mean? Because I felt so confused for so long. And so when I got the job at Forever 21, I was like, oh my God, this is badass. Yes. I did it. And from there, you know, I started working that job. And then I realized really quickly, I was like, oh my gosh, I miss fitness, I miss movement. I miss all, like, all the things that, like, fed myself for so many years. So, yeah. So when was sweat sessions born?

Was it born out of that? Semi, yeah. So worked it Forever 21 for, like, eight months and was just miserable. I was miserable. I was still teaching Pure Bar, but I went down to, like, one class a week at a different purebar studio. And I think, like, I realized that. I missed connecting with people and I never really knew that I was like a good fitness instructor,

I guess, until I left the studio that I was at and saw the people and saw my client's response to me leaving and we're like, oh, wow, you really changed my life. And I was like, I did me? And I'm like, yeah, you. I'm like, oh, wow. And then it started to click with me like, I actually have an opportunity to like use my talents in another way to like help women feel like the best version of themselves. And even if I wasn't in a place to do that at the time, like, I knew that I was capable of doing it.

And so when I quit Forever 21, I was like, I'm just going to get back into teaching fitness and eventually maybe have my own concept and maybe have my own brand one day. I didn't know what that looked like, but that was kind of the goal. And at this time, like my Instagram was semi-growing. Like, I was kind of still doing a lot of fashion posts on my Instagram. I don't even know what I was doing actually looking back, but I just remember making my ex-boyfriend take photos of me 24-7, like for free shit. And that's how it starts. Wait, how long ago was that?

This was like three years ago. Okay. Yeah. If you go back like deep, deep, deep, deep, deep on my feed, you'll be like, wow, content creator. Like all the flowers and like at a diner. Yeah, yeah. All the extreme edits. Yeah.

So funny. Light leaks on like every photo. Literally. So vintage. When you had to crop them to like fit because they couldn't, you couldn't do like the full-length photo. Yes. So cringy.

Yeah. So many. I tried to have a fashion blog like right when I got sober five and a half years ago. No, you didn't. I didn't know this about you. Oh, it's still up. The website is still up. The writing was actually really good.

But the Instagram. Oh my God. There's an Instagram. It's cringy. Oh, we have to look at it after this. Okay. Let's go deep after this. I also have my Instagram from before.

I got sober and that is like scary. I have one of those too. Because everything is like drugs and alcohol. And I'm like, Jesus Christ. Like how did nobody like 5150 me? It's so bad. Anyway, my gosh. Not to hijack. So, okay, so you had the Instagram. Yeah. So starting around that time. Yeah. So I left for over 21 and my goal at that time was to just start teaching again and to grow my Instagram and to do like fashion stuff to become a fashion blogger and a fitness instructor. People had asked me like, are you going to do? And I'm like, well, I'm going to be a fashion blogger and a fitness instructor with my own fitness brand and a content creator and all the things. I love it. You had a vision. But yeah, so I ended up teaching right away with Equinox. I got hired on by them and went back

into teaching full time with Pure Bar pretty much. And then got a website built out and wasn't really like blogging. Like I feel like Instagram for me has been like a great. great way to express myself. I don't necessarily love sitting down and like writing full on blog posts, but at the time I'm like, well, this is what I need to do to be considered a fashion blogger. So silly. And then yeah, I mean, the evolution of sweat sessions just kind of came from me feeling like I had something more to share with fitness. And I kind of started to morph into this like fitness brand just, I don't know, through like going from fashion more into lifestyle. my Instagram and then being like a fitness instructor by day and I guess like a fashion blogger

on the side too I don't know I just I felt like fitness was more my route and when I really looked at my career I'm like wow like fitness and teaching and lifestyle and inspiring people through movement is exactly what I want to be doing and it felt a little bit deeper and a little bit more connected to like my soul's purpose than just like posting and OOTD which is amazing and like love that but for me, I just, I needed something a little bit more. So I kind of started partnering with different brands to host events and eventually sweat sessions evolved. It was the Aubrey Winters method. It evolved into sweat sessions and it was me kind of finding dance again through fitness and combining all of the things. It's crazy how full circle it is when you look at it like gives me the chills.

Yeah, me too. Yeah. I want to rewind a little bit and talk about like walking. through the uncertainty of like leaving even though you hated the job at Forever 21 I'm sure it was like secure so leaving that for kind of the unknown were you if was there fear and anxiety or were you kind of like just so you knew what you wanted to do and you were going to do it so much fear and anxiety and I also think a lot of the fear came from me feeling like I was going to be really judged by like my parents who were finally like oh our girl got a full-time job and just like feeling like people were going to be like she can't figure out her shit like she's going from this to that she's you know 28 now like what is she doing and um you know

initially what had happened was I knew I wanted to get back into fitness and I wanted to become a soul cycle instructor so that was the idea of quitting my job and crushing the soul cycle audition and becoming an instructor that was like what my vision was at the time and then I auditioned twice for them and I didn't end up getting it and so then I think after I didn't get soul cycle that's when I was kind of like oh shit like this isn't going the way that you wanted it to and a lot of fear financially of course but I'm a hustler and I just I was like well if I have to teach 18 classes a week that's what I'm going to do and I'm going to make my money that way and I will figure it out. And so that's kind of what I did for two years. And it hasn't been until

recently where I'm like able to kind of take scale that back and really put back into my brand and all the things. But yeah, I mean, it's been it's been a wild ride of two years of just straight grinding from 6 a.m. until 8 p.m. every single day. How do you take care of yourself with that kind of schedule? It's, it's bad. I mean, it's not bad. It's just it's hard. You know, it's, I definitely have days where I'm like I have done nothing for myself today. I've just been giving my energy out like candy to every other person except for giving myself what I need. And I'm trying to be, especially after my breakup, like really trying to give myself time and like listen to like, what does Aubrey need today? Is it just an hour workout? Is it maybe not forcing myself to go post

up and email every other person that I need to get back to? And maybe it's putting on my roller blades and going rollerblading on the boardwalk, you know, or sitting down for a lunch where I'm not like having to eat in my car and rush around. Setting up a morning routine has been huge for me, even if it means that I have to wake up at 5 a.m. It's been game changer. What is your morning routine? I think somebody asked that, but. Yeah. I actually did a, I did a little thing on my Instagram about it yesterday. Well, I've just been, I'm realizing how important it is to have a space in your house that feels like a sanctuary and I'm still like decorating my place and all the things but I'm really trying to make my room like a no cell phone zone-ish especially like before bed and in the

morning so in the morning I have a little corner of my room with like my candles my palisanto and I actually have like a deck of tarot cards which seems really witchy but I love it and I try to just like wake up, light all the things, pull a card from the deck, and just like, I've been really into the Calm app lately. I love turning that on. I actually go to bed now to the Calm app, which has like an array of bedtime stories, and I love it. It puts me right to sleep. In the morning, I'll like wake up and use it as like just to get connected to my breath, make my coffee, and then, you know, after like 30 minutes, I'm kind of ready to like see. what's happening with my day.

What is a typical day like for you? Yeah. I mean, it is really just on the freaking go. It is wake up, do my little thing at home, get in my car, run and teach. Maybe work out, maybe post up, do emails, go run and teach. Same thing. Have a little, you know, slice of time where maybe I need to shoot some content, work on some projects, go and teach. So it's very like teaching is what makes my world go around though like as exhausting as it is especially with the driving.

I will say there's like nothing more fulfilling than teaching for me. It lights me up. I could be so tired. It could be my sixth class of the day. Like Wednesdays are my really long days. And the second that I'm done at the end of the day, I'm like, oh my God, what's next? Like let's go. I just feel so fiery full of energy.

even if I'm like falling asleep like before I walk into class. It just gives me so much energy. I love it. I would imagine social media plays a role in what you're doing. How big of a role does it play? Yeah. Because I don't, I feel like there's a whole world of like fitness influencers and instructors and like this

whole I feel like it's like an underground thing. Yeah. It is. You're part of it. I feel left out. there's a few angles with it I feel like and how it applies to me and what I'm doing for like the last year I've been so like in the zone of like needing to grow my Instagram but not in terms of sweat sessions at all like it's been I need to grow my my following so that I'm more of like

a brand and I have more opportunities coming in from brands and like all this stuff and again, I'll kind of go back to this. When my boyfriend and I of six years broke up, I was like, wow, I've been putting so much energy into like all this shit that just doesn't matter with Instagram. I'm like, I am really good at teaching. I've always known that like the experience that I can give in a studio is like, that's why I've been so hesitant for the last few years to like go online with like videos or tutorials on my Instagram or even showing that I'm with.

like a dancer or a mover on my Instagram. I'm always just like, this is like what I have to offer in real life. And I love the connections that can be made through a studio setting. And I'm a group fitness instructor. And so with social media, it's been more of like, what brand partnerships can I get? And like, how can I be seen as like Aubrey Winters? You know, I'm like the fashion girl. I'm the fitness girl. I have cute outfits. I'm a content creator. I'm this. I'm that. And I cared so much about like getting the shot and like editing my photos in lightroom and like all this stuff that just really, when it applies to Aubrey Winters and my sweat sessions brand does not matter. So through my breakup, I was like, oh my God, my eyes opened. And I'm like, I was spending so much

time on all these little things. Like, I want to build sweat sessions through Aubrey Winters' Instagram. Like, I want to show people that I just love being silly and I love movement and I, I love content creation, but like it doesn't matter to me anymore because at the end of the day like what does that have to do with like getting people moving absolutely nothing so now my focus with social media is just being myself and inspiring people to just live their best fucking life whatever that looks like for them in the most authentic way and like speaking up on things that they want to speak up on being silly and not being shy to like put themselves out there like maybe they're not a dancer maybe they hate fitness maybe they don't think that they can do this but like showing up

and just trying it and like recognizing that it makes them feel good afterwards. Like that's what I want them to get from like watching my stuff. And so now it's like posting the dancing videos, even if I mess up in the videos and not giving a shit about how my, how curated my feed looks. And it's so funny because the second that I let go of all of that stuff, every opportunity I've wanted for the last year has come to me. I was going to say I feel like, and I fall into this too, like the trap of feeling like you like it has to be so curated and perfect and the brands and this and that and then as soon as

you start as soon as you're you're just yourself and you're authentic and especially now people are just craving authenticity they're done i you do have a very aesthetically pleasing instagram i will say that so you're still but like that's why i followed you i still got it you still got it girl but like yeah i mean i feel like people are moving away from that anyway and um yeah and I love that I love that I'm kind of going through a similar thing where I'm like I don't know if I should be saying this on my podcast I can edit out um but I'm like I don't want to be like just doing these transactional things like and I've always been very selective about who I work with but I'm like what is me doing um I have to be careful here an ad for you know whatever yes I will not say what but like how is that making any kind of difference in anybody's life. And like on the one hand, you have to do it because it's income,

and that's how you can then do the other majority of the time, the authentic stuff. So there's kind of like a balance, but it's kind of like it can be soul-sucking. 100%. And I've been in this mode for the last few years where I'm like, I'll just take what I can get, you know? I'm like, oh, is this working with this brand? You know, they're going to pay me this much. Like, absolutely I'm going to post about it.

I actually ran into a situation this last week. end where I committed myself to this big project and there was an event involved with it and all these deliverables and the pay was amazing and I showed up to it and I totally just dropped the ball and I was like usually if the if it's I really do try to be choosy with who I work with of course but you know sometimes it's like okay this might not be something that like my community will understand but I'm going to I'm going to put like everything I have into like, you know, doing it the most authentic way that I can and giving it a shot and speaking to that. But man, I went to this event and I was looking at the deliverables and just looking around me and I'm like, this just is, why did I do?

Why did I sign up for this? You know? And I left and I got content and I was, I had to email the brand and be like, I'm so sorry, but I can't get behind it and I can't do it. And I'm like, I'm proud of myself because. I'm like usually in the past, I would be like, oh, no, I'm going to do it because it's a thousand plus dollars and this is money. So money in the pocket. But it takes a little piece of you.

It totally does. It's like energy you can't get back. It totally does. And yeah, I'm like, well, what is this, you know, what is doing this? Like, how is that going to enrich your brand? What is it going to do? Not even enrich, but like, what is it going to do to like make you feel good? Yeah.

Nothing. So let it go. No, I love that. Yeah. So it's kind of interesting because. being in the dance world from such a young age and then coming out here, excuse me, you were in this environment where there was a lot of comparison and now here you are in this kind of Instagram world and I know it's not your whole thing, but like how do you not fall into that comparison

trap? Because there are so many people. I mean, it's so saturated. Yeah. I really live by the motto that no one is you and that is your power. And that is like something that I go to almost every single day. I love that. Especially when growing sweat sessions, I think in the beginning, I was really nervous because I'm like, well, there are a few people in this dance cardio fitness industry right now, more so New York, who already have this made. And I kept going to them wanting what they had and like looking at their stuff on Instagram and feeling like, oh my God, how am I ever going to get there? And that literally got me nowhere. You know, that really got me nowhere. You know, that run around sitting on my phone trying to be strategic and like oh what are they doing that's working

and blah blah blah like no you just have to start doing and for me it was like Aubrey like you you might be teaching dance cardio like all these other fitness influencers who have their concepts but you all can own your own thing and it's just so unique to each individual and the community the people who will go take these classes and who love dance cardio they're They're going to probably go to this teacher for this element of their class and they'll come to you for something else. And even if they don't try all the different, you know, classes, you will find your tribe. You will find people who come to you because it is you. And that is something, that is worth something.

So the second that I kind of took away, the comparison game and feeling like I didn't have enough followers to do what I wanted to do or whatever it was, like it just knowing that like, we all, there is space for all of us, you know, there's no point anymore for me to look on Instagram to see what other people are doing or feel like, you know, I'm not this or I'm not that. It's like just stay focused, stay in your lane and recognize that you are so unique. And we all are, you know, we all have something to offer. And people will gravitate towards that. Yeah. I feel like for me too, like it's, it's easier said than done. But when I can put on blinders and not look at what other people are doing, I get so much more creative because it's not like in the back of my head like, oh, well, this person did this, so I'm going to do this. It's like just

all very unique. Yeah. I don't know. So why don't you talk about sweat sessions and like it's your baby, right? Yeah, it is. It's my little baby. So sweat sessions is a dance cardio sculpt class. and you know it's just really people are always like I can't dance I can't do this like you know what's the sculpt stuff like is it super hard and I mean for me yeah it is even if even when I teach the full class I am dying but I think I always just want people to know that it's not about the moves like it's not about the choreography it's follow along I don't really love to like go through it slowly when I do that the energy drops in the class I've tried it um I like to just have it be follow along and let people express themselves however they want to.

You know, it's not about how it looks. It's all about how it feels. It's what I love saying in class. And it's really just about like showing up and moving your body and getting sweaty. And there's I just, there's so much like self expression that you can, you know, so, what am I trying to say? So much that you can express through movement. And I feel like a lot of times we don't even take that step because we're so afraid of what we might look like or what someone else in the classroom might think of the way that we look in the mirror or whatever.

I don't get the move. So blah, blah, blah. We like have all the chit chat in our head going on. And it's just, I just think that like when you can let yourself go and open yourself up and like move your body, you just feel better. So that's the point of my class is just to get people to come in and to walk out feeling better and feeling stronger and feeling more connected to not only themselves but to a community. That sounds so empowering.

I was supposed to do it a few weeks ago. Kennedy did it. Can you talk about it? Tell everyone. As a participant in the class. No, I just love it because I think that it essentially achieves the goal that you were trying to achieve in the first place, which is you want people to move. You want people to enjoy their body.

You want people to enjoy, you know, kind of just being silly. and just looking at themselves and not putting so much pressure on themselves. And that's the exact vibe that happens when you walk in the class. But it's still really hard. Like, very difficult. Doable, but very difficult. I think that comes from my background in bar. And that was one thing that was hard for me when creating sweat sessions is like,

I mean, my body changed so much from consistently doing bar classes. Not even, I mean, from dance, I was always in shape. when I started doing bar regularly, I mean, whoa, that is what, like, made me really passionate about fitness because I was like, this shit is effective. And so with sweat sessions, I was like, this needs to be really effective. But then at the same time, my whole mentality with, like, working out is just, like, I've never been the one to, like, weigh myself or to, like, you know, count calories or count how many calories I burned in a class or, I mean, I watch what I eat, but it's all about balance for me.

And so with sweat sessions, I've just really tried to get out of that mentality of like counting numbers or just anything numbers related. Like let's just go in and do a workout that makes us feel good. Like nothing makes me happier than it's so corny. But like when I'm in class and people are like hooting and hollering and smiling and like fist pumping each other and clapping after a combo when I tell them not to, I'm like, hell yeah, you guys. You know, it's just like the best feeling.

ever because you know that they just like move their body and they felt so good while doing it. And so that's like the most fulfilling thing for me with sweat sessions is just seeing people smile and seeing people like excited to move. Oh, it lights me up. It's so fun. I feel like it's like so relevant right now too like because everybody is so caught up in like perfection and like the aesthetic and what we look like and being perfect and that the end like it's so like rigid and uptight. and so that just sounds really refreshing. I'm like, I need to come like tomorrow. Please.

I'd love to have you. And get loose and yeah, I love that. You talked recently about celebrating small wins. And I wanted to ask you how you're able to like celebrate the small wins and stay present and enjoy that while still having like bigger goals. Yeah. Well, for me, I've always just set the really big goals. So I can give you a few examples.

For the last two years, some of my biggest goals were to teach at Propel Fitness Festival, were to get on pop sugar, were to teach at Bandier, or to go to New York and teach at project, were to up my rates and get paid by brands, an amount that felt really good for me. and I was so set on all of these things and like the first thing that happened for me this year with sweat sessions was going on pop sugar and I like I mean I just died when I got that opportunity I was like holy shit like what's happening and I didn't really expect any of the other things

to even come into fruition but they did and it's all good but point being that like after some of these big wins I kind of started to feel a little empty on the inside and um Propel was actually a big thing for me and I felt really empty afterwards like completely just like oh like I had all this build up this was something that I've wanted for so long like I did it and now like what's next you know like that feeling of like what's next like am I going to have another opportunity you know so going back to the small wins I've had to like really mindfully like wake up every morning and just be like teaching a class even of five people is a great win for me you know it makes me feel really good it makes me feel more connected i get to do what i love like all these little small wins that i've had

all all the little things you know even like a little a comment that i get on instagram that's a small win to me someone who messages me and says like hey i live in nebraska and i really want to do your dance cardio how do i do it that's a small win for me you know and And just looking at all of those little things and realizing that without them, like, I wouldn't be, I would, it, it makes the big ones so much sweeter. It makes the big ones feel so much better. And I can't forget that those little things have gotten me, everything that I've like been wanting and have helped me along the way and progressed me and kept me motivated. And so if I didn't have those small wins, I wouldn't have had the motivation to keep going and to keep seeing that there's more light at the end of the tunnel. So, yeah, just, I think it's just small wins, just being grateful. And it's like the littlest thing, you know? Mm-hmm. Such a good reminder.

Yeah. So what is next for sweat sessions and for the brand and for everything? What do you see? Yeah, I mean, I laugh because, like, I've been doing all these dance videos on my Instagram. And, like, right now, like, I don't know if you guys know my obsession with Diplo, but, like. I'm obsessed. So right now I'm like manifesting a big like flash mob dance party on the boardwalk in menace with

Did he ever get back to you? He's been liking my tags. So I don't know. He's there. He's noticing me. He's just liking them in the DMs. That's a small win. Actually probably a big win.

I mean both. For those of you listening, Diplo reposted my shit last week. He did. I have to say I was obsessed with him like. 10 years ago when he was kind of like just on Twitter and like before Instagram was really a thing. He, I feel like, yeah. He's electric. Like, he's just so funny.

I mean, he's cute for sure. But it's just like he used to be super cute. He's just so unique. Yeah. You know, the way he dresses and is like, I don't give a fuck attitude. He does what he wants. Yeah. I love that.

Yeah. And he's silly. So manifest it. So flash mob on the boardwalk. So yeah, that's like a silly goal. But for sweat session, I mean, it's a silly goal. It's a real goal. Maybe we'll do a follow-up like next year and you'll be like, oh my God, I had that flash mob.

I'll manifest it too. Yeah, that would be amazing. But I think for sweat sessions, I just, I want to get more in the digital space with it. And that's happening soon. So I'll have like a subscription service online where people can access my workout videos. And this has been something that I've been resisting for so, so, so long. so to just kind of use even my Instagram as a way to start putting some of those videos out there it's gotten me more comfortable like filming myself and realizing that like I can have energy through

the screen and people can feel that energy through the screen and it's given me the motivation to move forward and monetizing a little bit more so that's been that's definitely one of my like big things this year that subscription online service and I just want to be reaching more people in terms of like events and traveling and I think building community through sweat sessions it's like everything to me I I just again I get lit up seeing people you know connect with others through coming to my classes so that's that's like the biggest goal is just getting people to connect and to feel good in their own skin and to move their bodies and whether it's to a room of five people or 300 or maybe even one day thousands like it will all be fulfilling to me but i definitely just want to see it grow in that way and

i think the community element is like the number one thing maybe a clothing line too clothing line tvd it's coming i love it it's so kind of like altruistic of you and to have that goal that's really not about you it's about other people um it's just very refreshing you don't hear that very often people are like i want to do this and i want to do this and i want to do that and i do that too so um It's a nice way to kind of like redirect the energy, I guess, like make it about other people. Yeah, well, energy is, it's contagious, you know? So it's just, I don't know, I think in this last year I've realized like, and even through social media and sharing, like, how many people hold back and feel like they don't have anyone and feel like they're alone and like all those things. And like I've felt that way a lot this year.

And just by using my platform to like, even when it feels really uncomfortable to go on and share more, like I've realized, wow, like there are so many other people going through the same stuff. Like let's rely on one another. Let's not rely, but like let's turn to one another and like build each other up. And that is powerful, you know, just by opening up and sharing and like, I don't know, like spreading like sweet words and encouragement. And it means so much. And it really can one, you know, one positive thing that you can say to someone and one hello that you can give to someone, like it can really change someone's whole mentality. So it is, it's important. Yeah. Well, on that note, why don't we switch gears and get to some audience questions? Listener questions. I love it. I don't know what audience would on Instagram, but I call them my little monsters. I totally snagged that from Lady Gaga. I was like, you and Lady Gaga. I was to say, I'm, I'm going to say, I'm. never heard you do that before. I more so do it with my friends. Like they'll be like they'll ask me something. I'll be like, well, my little monsters. You could do something like you've got to come up with like a play on your name, right? Like the winter something.

Someone recently. Yeah. Someone recently was like, call them your little sweaty buddies. I was like, oh, that is cute. That's cute. It's like a little too girly for me. All right. We'll see.

So with your crazy schedule, I got this. question a lot. What do you eat in a day? I'm sure it varies, but it varies, yeah, especially because my mornings are, well, every morning looks different. I definitely do get up very early every morning, but mornings where I don't have to be out of the house until like eight or nine, I'll try to like make, you know, have like overnight oats at home or make some eggs or just like a protein bar, but I honestly my eating is so bad you guys I have to be honest it's just like I'm not a meal prepper I'm not so I do try to keep breakfast food in my house because it's like for me very important that I like don't leave the house without anything in my stomach unless if I'm going to a workout of course then like I'm okay with eating after a workout but um my on the go schedule like since I'm out of the house most of the day I need something to like jump start my energy um and then you know I go to Aeroon a lot. Yes.

We are team airone here. I, you know, go to Sweet Green a lot. Do you ever do two a days at Airwant? I don't. I have to limit myself. I mean, Ariel demo. Well, sometimes I'll do two a days at different air ones. I'm like an, I mean, I am a recovering alcoholic, an addict, but I'm like an addict with

that, like I'll go to a different one so that they don't see me. But recently, I had a really shameful day where I went to the same air one twice within three hours. Like I went and had lunch before therapy. I went to therapy. And then after I was going to meet my husband for dinner before we had a meeting. But he had to cancel. So I was like, Airwine. I had to go back to Erwan. And the ballet guy was like, oh, you were just. And I'm like, yeah. I'm like, yeah, don't look at me. It's very embarrassing. Anyway. So Arawan and Sweet Green. Yeah, Erwan, Sweet Green. I've been trying to be better about cooking dinner at home. During the week, like, I'm not going to go as

far as saying I'm a health nut per se, but I do like to just, you know, very like, vegetable-based, proteins, healthy, healthy for what feels good for me, right? It's like my whole thing is just balance. I try not to deny myself of things, but I do try to like stay on track during the week. And then on the weekends, it's like where the fries at, you know, like French fry addict over here. Yes. Oh, good. That sounds so good.

Yeah. That sounds so foody. So, I mean, my eating, it's just. It's honestly all over the place. Yeah. But just eating for energy, basically for energy. Yep. And, you know, French fries on Friday.

So with all you're working out, you have amazing skin. Oh, wow. Thank you. How do you take care of your skin? Do you wear makeup when you work out ever? Or do you just go on natural? Here and there. So I appreciate you saying that.

I've actually, in the last like year and a half, two years, have been getting really bad cystic acne and I think that it could be from wearing makeup while I'm working out and sweating and all the things so I'm during the day like I just try to keep it super light like if I have some pimples I'll cover them up but I do have like I use like you know good skin care

and I'm all about the serums and the face moisturizer the sunscreen um have you heard of obaji oh yes I love obaji Obagi I don't know if I can talk about that I can yeah You did the whole system?

I did the whole system. It's gnarly at first, right? Oh, yeah. I mean, my face was like burning. I was like, is this normal? Yeah. But when I started getting the cystic acne, I noticed that like even though I had like pimples coming up, my skin just felt really clean still.

So that really helped clear my cystic acne. But I will say like washing my face after workouts and even if I have to reapply my tinted moisturizer, like I'll do it five times a day. but I will always, always, like, wash my face after workouts. And I've been trying to shower a lot more, too, after my workouts because it's easy for me to just, like, stay in my workout clothes all day. But, no, we got to, like, get those sweaty clothes off, get some fresh clothes on, clean up a little bit. You're like, how many sets of active where do you go through in a day?

Maybe three to four. Yeah. Yeah. Shamelessly, yeah, it's a thing. I'm still thinking about Obaji. I've been breaking out. like I've never broken out before in my life. I think mine is hormones.

Yeah. But no matter what I do. Yeah. What is Obaji? And my mom actually used Obaji. Like when I was younger, she swore by it. Yeah. And she still used it.

She has amazing skin. And I got it a couple years ago. And then when it got bad, I was like, I can't do this. So I stopped, like right in the beginning. But that's a good idea. I actually, I, so Obaji, he's like a dermatologist. doctor yeah I guess he has his own like skincare line basically and my thing with him with his products were I noticed though if I was using that like I would use the morning and night and after a few

months it's kind of like proactive I don't know if you ever use that like back in the day in high school but like my skin would get like used to it and then it would stop working yeah so I noticed that with Obaji too but I also like I do have this like I want to start using cleaner products on my skin. So right when I'd like get to that point where I'd be like I don't really know if this is like as effective anymore, I'd start bringing in more natural products. And then when I really feel like my skin needs it, then I go back to Obaji. And I like let it clear it out and then go back to using more. Kind of like that finding that balance. Yeah. I do that too with my skincare because my skin gets used to everything. Yeah. So I'll do that too. Like I'll go something that's all natural

and oils and then I'll go back to like the harder stuff. Yeah. Okay. Do you what's your strategy for getting your name out in the fitness industry? I don't really have one. Honestly, I just kind of like to show up as myself and see what the fuck happens. Hustle. Yeah, honestly. I feel like what worked best for me and it was very exhausting, but I would not trade teaching 18 to 22 classes a week for the last two and a half years for anything. It gave me face time with. people all over LA. It was exhausting, but it was those like in real life connections that I was making with my clients that I think have kind of propelled me in a lot of ways when it comes to me teaching group fitness at other places, like and having sweat sessions. You know, it's like everyone's

seen me at aloe. Everyone has seen me at three different equinox clubs. People have seen me at Peer Bar for the last seven and a half years. It's just, and I've put myself out there, with teaching at events and other things and just, you know, so many opportunities have come from just meeting people in my classes. So I would say for me, it was just getting FaceTime with the people who are showing up for classes in my city. So, yeah. Okay. This will be the last one because I work kind of over. How did you get through your breakup? And I can, I can. And I can, kind of want to add in like how did you navigate that and deal with it when you had to show up for other people and show up on social media and probably put on a happy face yeah oh hard a f um so

i would say that i at first was like to your point how am i going to continue to like show up for classes and other people and be on social media i took like three weeks off of social and it actually felt really good. But it felt necessary because I was like still teaching during that time. But I'm like, how am I supposed to show up on Instagram and like put on a happy face when like I actually resented Instagram a lot because the differences in my relationship and some of the struggles that we were having were due to like my career with Instagram.

So I was kind of like trying to restragize with that and just couldn't get on there. But I kind of got to a point after it, my breakup. happened and then I was like gone for two weeks I had two different trips like work trips planned and so with teaching it was kind of nice to like take that break but even when I got back I was still like an absolute mess and so there were a few classes I showed up and I was like oh I'm going to just kind of put on a happy face and deal with it but then I was also having panic attacks like every other few hours and like extreme anxiety and couldn't stop crying and just like looked like absolute S-H-I-T so one morning I walked into Equinox and I was just like

all right you guys can't put on a fucking happy face anymore like this is what's happening like I am going through this and I'm going through that is anyone else going through like the shittiest thing right now like we all have shit right and everyone in the class raised their hand and we had like a moment before one of my class classes where like some of us started crying and I was like I feel like absolute shit like this is awful and I'm depressed and like having anxiety attacks and all the things but like let's go in for 55 minutes kick some ass and then cry again afterwards and just know that if I have like a breakdown in the middle of thigh work like we're still going to get through it we'll just you know where I'm at and so it was like that honesty I think um it was just it was

good to be able to connect with other people through that um I'm so grateful for my fitness community and for what I do and even for social media because I didn't want to, like, show up on social media right away and, like, talk about my breakup. I mean, my boyfriend, my ex-boyfriend wasn't really, like, on my Instagram that much. But, like, I was in a relationship for six years. So it was, like, a very big part of my life and a lot of my, like, growth that I've had over the last years, like, through a lot of growth on Instagram over the last few years. Like, it came, you know, with him, too. So it was the sense of community that I felt going through it.

The second that I did open up, I mean, it was like, I'm so great. for it. And I think too, just not to say that I was like trying to distract myself, but like literally my relationship ended and all of the things that I've wanted in my career started coming to me. Like just I didn't do anything. It was like my career ended and boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, all of these things. And so with that, I didn't really have a choice. I was just kind of like, okay, I'm jumping right in. Like I'm distracting myself, yes, but like this. is my career and I have to keep going and this is my fucking time right now. Like if I'm not going to have this relationship, I'm going to fucking have my career. And this is everything that I've wanted,

not for me, but like for the bigger picture of just like community and people and like connecting and like this is my time. So let's go. And so it was just chills again. Yeah. It was just like I don't, it's honestly crazy. But yeah, I got through my breakup by just turning to my community. turning to my career. And I think that like it all comes with balance because I realized that like through my breakup, like I didn't have any balance. I mean I wasn't like doing things for me. I never wanted to go out. I was always exhausted. I'd come home and I'd fall asleep nine o'clock on the dot every single night. And now I'm just like, no, you know what? I'm going to make that extra effort to like meet up with some people and maybe to connect some of my clients outside of

classes. Go get a glass of wine. Go wake up in the morning and take a walk on the beach. Like finding ways to like find that balance on the weekends it's not all about shooting for me anymore like for what you know like i have my clear path my vision with sweat sessions it's going to evolve but like i don't need to get so wrapped up in all of that instagram stuff anymore like it's just having a clear vision and a purpose with my career in sweat sessions is allowing me to have some freedom too so it's that's yeah sweat sessions caught me through my breakup you guys no it's amazing It honestly did. It's crazy. It's so cool to like to just see how everything kind of works out and so cool to see what you're building.

And I can't wait to see where it goes. And I can't wait to come take a class. I can't wait. I can't wait. Where can everybody find you? Yeah. So basically just open your eyes if you live in L.A. and you'll see me. I'm everywhere.

Can't miss me. I'm wearing obnoxious outfits. She's no. She looks like the fitness share her with today. Hey guys. I'm loving it. Totally. Oh, yeah.

It's so good. Like, maybe I'll take a photo. You guys can see. I love it. You guys can find me teaching all over L.A. I will just list off where I teach and look it up. Sweat sessions is my fitness brand. So I teach that on a pop-up basis.

I work at Bandier and West Hollywood. I teach classes there for sweat sessions. I work at Knockout L.A. and Playa Del Rey. I teach sweat sessions there. I am at Equinox, and I am at Allo, Yoga, and the Palisades teaching classes there. And then a new fitness studio that just opened up in West Hollywood called Health House, which, I mean, I know that I teach bar and I teach dance, but this is strength training with rowing. And it's very different than anything I've ever done, but the concept is sick. The studio is sick. So you can find me there as well. Aubrey Winters on Instagram

all of the things you guys you really are everywhere so much driving oh my god I just got anxiety for you well I'm this is this is one of my goals is to scale back on the teaching and I think once I get into the digital space

a little bit more with the fitness videos like that will be a great way for me to take my drive time down but in the meantime I'll just turn on your podcast and listen to it in the car and all the things love it thank you so much for coming. Thank you. Thanks for having me and so good talking to you guys. Yeah,

you too. This is awesome. Thank you. As always, thank you for tuning in. I appreciate you guys sharing, sharing on social media, sharing with people in your lives. Please rate, review, subscribe if you haven't already, and do all of the things. I'll talk to you next week.