Well with Arielle Lorre - 256: Breaking Up, Body Image, Walking Through Uncertainty & Current Wellness Practices with Alyssa Lynch

Episode Date: July 5, 2023

In this episode I talk to Alyssa Lynch candidly about her recent breakup, how she made the decision to leave a long term relationship, the freedom she experienced on the other side of that decision, and how she walks through fear and uncertainty. We also discuss how she is evolving personally and professionally, how her approach to wellness has changed, how she got her period back after 8 years, energy work, body image, beauty practices and so much more.This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.Visit facerealityskincare.com to take their skin quiz and choose a Certified Acne Expert near you to jumpstart your way to clear skin.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Find more balance with BetterHelp. Visit www.Betterhelp.com/files  today for 10% off your first month.Visit ritual.com/BLONDE to start Ritual or add Essential For Women 18+ to your subscription today.Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/Blonde - plus you’ll get free shipping!Visit CleanSimpleEats.com and use code BLONDE at checkout for 20% off your first order.Visit sephora.com/clean to learn more about Sephora’s range of clean products.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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says, Uno dos no stress. No, no-verwashed cost, always full-ledgiverts. So, foo-hueur without your re-sadviseur or Sunnycars. The following podcast is a dear media

production. Welcome to the Blonde Files I'm your host, Ariel Lori, and I'm here to talk all things wellness. From how to achieve optimal health and well-being to the best beauty tips and everything in between, no topic is off limits. I know there's so much information out there, so I'm bringing on expert guests and sharing my own experiences to help you sift through all the wellness stuff without the BS. Enjoy the show. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show. I feel like maybe I haven't said this. in a while. I know that I say it every now and then, but this is one of my favorite episodes that I can

remember recording definitely in the last few months. And this is not a knock on my other guests, because I really am happy and proud of every episode that I put out and really come to enjoy the people that I get to talk to. But sometimes I'm just sitting there having a conversation and I can relate to my guest so much. And I kind of listened to it through the ears of the audience, I think, and I hear how impactful it's going to be for a lot of people. And I feel like this was one of those conversations. So I am talking to Alyssa Lynch. I'm sure a lot of you are familiar with her. She is a wellness and lifestyle content creator. If you are not familiar with her, she has a huge following. She's absolutely beautiful. But she also is really refreshing because she's

She's so honest. She is so introspective. You'll hear in our conversation today, she's really desiring to grow and better herself and evolve and explore new parts of herself. And it just was a really inspiring conversation. So she shared in the conversation in the beginning that she just got out of a relationship. It was a four-year relationship. And I had people sending questions on Instagram and a lot of the questions were about that because she hasn't talked about it on social media yet. And she was just really candid about what led up to that breakup and why it happened and how she was feeling before and how she's feeling after the breakup. And I think a lot of people who might be feeling like they want to make a change in their life, they might be feeling like they're

in the wrong relationship, are going to be really inspired by this part of the conversation. So So we talk about that. We also talk about walking through fear and uncertainty, which I think we are all averse to to a certain degree. And we talk about how she's evolving personally and professionally. We talk about how her approach to wellness has changed and her body image. And she's been really honest in the past about having issues with body image and food. And she's like, yeah, sometimes my. followers call me out and they're like, yeah, we don't think you're so healthy right now. And she's like, yeah, you're right. Like that's what I think is so refreshing about her. She's just so honest and you don't get that with a lot of other influencers. So we talk about that. We talk about energy work. We talk how she got her period back after eight years. We talk beauty practices and so much more. It's just a really vulnerable, candid conversation. I think you guys are going to love it. So please enjoy Alyssa Lynch. Welcome, Alyssa. Thank you. Hi. I feel like we've met before. Yeah.

Because when did we last record? It was like maybe 2020 or like 2021. It was a while ago. Yeah, a couple years ago. Just changed so much with the both of us. Yes. Wow. Yeah, we were just talking off mic about some changes that we may get into today. I wanted to start by asking you what you're struggling with right now. And I don't mean just like in that situation that we were talking about before. But like what are your struggles currently? Well, I would first say I as like corny or cringy as this could sound.

I don't know if it's my age or the circumstances I'm going through. But like I feel like this time in my life is the most transformative that I've ever felt before in the best way. but obviously like it comes with struggles like minor. I like to say transformation, but like you could also say it's an identity crisis at certain times. I think they can be simultaneous. They can coexist. Yeah, exactly.

You have to have like a little bit of an identity crisis, I think, to change and to grow. Exactly. And I'm having that. And it's beautiful. But obviously it started, I guess I felt it starting. And then that's probably what allowed my breakup to happen. after like four years. So then I was single and just feeling like a lot of different things with my job. I think this job and you can tell me if you can relate it all. It really is hard to not be put

into a box because you find out what works. You find out how you make money. You find out what people respond well to and you stick to that. But like we are all changing all the time. And there's also so many different versions of ourselves that exist and a lot of the times some of those versions aren't shown on social media and I feel like with all of this change happening I'm really stepping back into like my more artistic self and I want to be able to showcase that but I don't really know how to with my job and I've been pinned for this like I don't know just happy wellness girly that like is just very light and bright and like there's a lot of like dark artistic emotions to myself and they've always

been there and so I feel like I'm just figuring out how to be like every version of myself and take some of it into my career but have some of it for myself. This is all, you know, it's all a pile of I don't know. I totally understand what you're saying and I do think we are at kind of a nice time creatively where on the one hand it feels like we're on a hamster wheel and it's never ending and what's the end goal right but at the same time i feel like especially with a platform like tick talk where so many people can kind of become their own brand and your life is your brand and your interests are your brand like there is room to explore the different things that interest you and get other people interested in that whereas before when it was like you know the

little days of Instagram where it's just like you post a picture and you edit the picture and like you you really are pigeonholed I think and it was hard to adapt initially to video and like the style of TikTok and now Reels and all of that but I think it is offering creators like more opportunity to explore different versions of themselves. No absolutely totally and I I'm very grateful for that I think it's just when you're figuring it out too it's hard to know like it's hard to like trust yourself in such a like when you're in the middle of like change to know exactly like what you want to put out there and I'll have some of these brands that I've been working with being like oh well we love your morning routines can you do that for this content

and I'm like no I can't do another morning routine I won't do the fake stretch like oh just waking up here like I just I feel like I'm letting a part of me die not to sound too relatable no we were just talking before we started recording and I'm sure some people listening who aren't in this job are like oh please like give me a fucking break totally but I'm ready for it not like an endless creative well like I'll speak for myself I'm not an endless creative well and I get the same thing and you know I was just saying before we started recording like I have all these campaigns that I'm doing right now, which I've really stopped doing for the most part. But it's the same thing. They want to dictate how the content is going to be created. I'm like, well, why are you having me

do this? Like, if you're remind. Yes, exactly. Like, I'm not in this. Like, it's not me. It's just, it's hard. It's a, it's an interesting dance. And you can get the groove of it for a while. And then you got to, like, figure out the next steps and find the groove again. So I'm just in the midst of that. Yeah. So you said that you were starting to evolve and transform and grow a little bit prior to your breakup. And you did, you know, you said that you were willing to talk about that. So for the listeners, I'm not just springing this on her. But I know this is something that a lot of people are curious about because obviously like heartache and breakups are so relatable to people at any age. And I know for me, just watching your life from the outside, I'm like,

wow, she seems to be really like navigating this well, whereas like, I'm a fucking disaster in breakups. So can you talk us through maybe some of the ways that like you were growing and then how you came to that decision to, you know, end this for your relationship? Yeah. I mean, I think obviously being so like committed to like a self-growth practice is so beneficial. And I really have been in the last year and I realized a lot of things about myself, the main thing being that I am extremely codependent. And I didn't know that because I'm also an extremely independent person. And I've, so I've always really held on to that being like, oh, well, I love being alone. I love doing things on my own. I don't need anyone to tell me what to do. But you can be both codependent

and independent. And because I am an extreme or have been in the past an extreme people pleaser, my relationships in my life, not even just my romantic relationship, it was so, I was so hung up on how to keep those people happy versus myself. And even my, my job took such a backseat. My family took such a backseat because I was so focused on like making the other person happy and unfortunately I was in the exact wrong relationship for that because this relationship you know the the person I was in a relationship with had a lot of caring needed for me to do or I felt that way and I didn't know how to not nurture and caretake every second and I started to just really realize that and just look at try so hard every day to look at my life outside of the bubble that

I was in and it's so hard. It's almost impossible. But I also am so grateful that I have such amazing friendships in my life that would never ever tell me that I shouldn't do something. It's always like whatever your heart says. But at a certain point, you can pick up on maybe their real opinions and their minds. And I just started to pay attention and I was so patient with it. but I think that's why when finally the breakup came about a few months ago, it wasn't as dramatic and intense and emotional as you would expect before your relationship ending to be because I honestly had been fantasizing about being alone and just having to take care of myself. That weight lifted off my shoulders was so I was dreaming about it for months that

I think the biggest feeling I felt and mind you I still like cried my eyes out and like you know couldn't eat for a couple days and like of course those things are going to come about when like your life is turning upside down it feels like but I think the biggest feeling I felt was freedom and I still feel it to be able to wake up and that's how you should feel in a relationship is waking up and being like what do I want to do today or like I don't care if this person is working working until seven. Like I don't need to be home when they get home. I don't need like and that is my I take full responsibility for putting myself in that position. There was not any, you know, ask on my partner's part of saying like you need to do this or you need to do that. But I think to

be self aware of like I can get caught up in these patterns. I want to work on that while I'm single now, but also the next time I get into a relationship, I want to be with someone who also can hold me accountable if I ever fall back into that. When you look at bags of dog food, you probably see pictures of bright carrots and juicy steaks, but when you open the bag, all you get are burnt, smelly pellets. Dog food needs some fresh thinking, and honestly, our dogs deserve better, and this is where the farmer's dog comes in. So the farmer's dog is real fresh, healthy food with whole meat and veggies, gently cooked in human-grade kitchens to preserve their nutritional value. Just go to their website and tell them about your dog and

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Podcast is here to help. I'm Marianna Hewitt, a Los Angeles-based influencer and co-founder of the Clean Skin Care Line, Summer Fridays. Each Tuesday, I'm talking to my friends from business owners, wellness experts, and more to share all of their best advice for you to live your best life. Make sure to tune in and subscribe to my podcast and follow me on Instagram at Mariana underscore Hewitt to see what's coming up each week so you don't miss an episode. Do you have any tips for listening who's like, I feel that way too, but I'm afraid. Like I'm thinking of friends of mine who are single and who are maybe in like not super fulfilling relationships. But there's fear. There's like a scarcity mindset, I think when it comes to relationships where it's like, well, if not this person,

then who? And then especially as you like get into your 30s and like in LA that's elderly. And you know, like the everyone's saying what a nightmare. The apps are in the dating scene. and nobody can commit. And I think that keeps people in the wrong relationships. And how did you get over that fear if you had it at all? Yeah, of course. Of course you're like, I've envisioned myself marriage kids maybe like I did with with this person. And, you know, when you're in that state, too, the thought of dating someone new is repulsive. And, you know, just terrifying and you want to curl up into a ball and go back to what you're familiar with. And I did that for a really long time.

I really did. And also it's confusing when there's so much love there because you're like, well, I'm not just, you know, I'm not just beating myself up by going home to this person and sleeping next to them. I love them. So I'm like, I'm happy at times, but also I am thinking about like how I'm, I need to be free, but freedom, am I going to really feel free? Like, how do I know that that's going to be the feeling? And I went through all those emotions and thoughts, but in the end, like, I just think, I feel so deeply that if you're feeling these ways, you have to give it a shot and you have to know that that

person isn't dying. they will still be there and you can go and take time for yourself and figure it out. And if they are meant to be, they will, I'm not saying that you should expect them to wait for you. But like if they are meant to be, like you will be together. So to be able to take the time for yourself and do that while you have the time versus when you have kids or when you're older and. older and you're tied in more ways than you already are. Like, I remember my mind would go to, like, who's going to have the couch? Like, like, weird little things like that you'd make excuses to scare yourself out of like, oh my gosh, I can't even imagine how we're going to split

this furniture or like, who's going to stay in this apartment and who's going to leave. Those are just all the, the most, like, silliest excuses. They feel like it's the end of the world. But then when you're out of the bubble, you're like, that's hilarious that I would have stayed for that reason because I didn't know who would take the lease, you know? Yeah, it's like, I think our brains are wired evolutionarily to see anything unfamiliar or unknown as a threat. Like, so we start making all these excuses of like, oh, well, I shouldn't leave because this, because of the couch and who's going to get the lease and who's going to get the dog and there's never there's never a good time right and there's never like there are always going to be reasons to stay so I think it's very inspiring

that you ultimately were like no like I needed to see this through because I was feeling this way myself and like you're sitting in front of me and I'm like oh yeah she's free like there's a lightness to you for sure no it really feels that way and I I think that if you are, I started reading this book called codependent No More. Melody Beatty. Yeah. I was just going to ask you if you have that book. I was going to send it to you.

It is triggering me in the best ways. Like it's what made me realize. Like, oh, I am the absolute definition of that. And yeah, I think you have to really, I mean, I would recommend anyone listening to read the book. But also, if you do feel. like stuck in a relationship or something because you have to take a look at your relationship and really ask yourself, am I building up resentment? And am I going out of my way to make this person feel loved? And I'm not feeling like it's being reciprocated. I'm feeling like I give more.

I'm feeling like I'm getting taken advantage of sometimes. Whatever those feelings are, if if you do not leave that situation it is only going to continue to build and you're going to live with resentment in your life forever and like that is not healthy at all yeah we have a saying in recovery that's resentment is drinking the poison and waiting for the other person to die yeah i always remember that because i'm like yeah that is very true there's another book the language of letting go. Do you know that one? No. It's a daily. It's like a daily reader. Melody Bity as well, Melody. And it's for codependence. But I read it every morning because it has like just the most inspiring short daily passages. I love that. That's like her other book daily meditations of love

or whatever. I love that one. I have a bunch that I read in the morning. I'm like, let's go. In the morning, like I have my recovery ones. I have that. It's amazing. Spiritual ones. So that's a really good one too for people to like incorporate into the language of letting go. Yes. Noted. Yes. It's so good. And then another thing that I was thinking when you were talking was another saying and I'm

going to butcher it, but something about like the universe whispers until it screams or something like that. And I think the same thing goes for us. We get these intuitive thoughts, right? And feelings. Like maybe this isn't right. Like maybe I would be happier. Maybe like I want this freedom.

Maybe I'm craving something else. And you can try to ignore it. I was just having this conversation at lunch. Really? Literally just because we were, I think a lot of, I mean, the power of a woman's intuition is like no other. Listen to it. It is your gut. It's not anxiety.

If it continues to show up, it is not anxiety. I used to say that excuse all the time. I just don't know if it's my gut intuition or if I'm just nervous and having anxiety about it. I can't tell the difference. anxiety will go away. I mean, like very, very soon. But if it's a reoccurring feeling so deep within you, like, that is your intuition telling you something and you like have to listen to it or it will just keep coming back until it screams,

like you just said. That's such an important point too, because I think it's hard for us, especially when we're in it to differentiate between what is anxiety, what is fear-based thinking and what's actually real, especially when it's not something that's being presented to you maybe as a fact, it's just a feeling. Totally. And I know for me, like, I am wired to run on fear. Yeah. That's my thing.

That's my area. You know, I know a lot of people get to recovery and some people have issues with resentment. And some people have issues with selfishness. And, like, I definitely have those things too. But fear, that's dictated so many aspects of my life. and I have a coping mechanism or like a design for living that helps me navigate that. But it's still hard for me even like nine and a half years of sobriety to be like, is this real?

Like this feeling that I'm having, this gut feeling or is that fear? Right. So how do you differentiate? Is it just like what you were saying? Like if it goes away, maybe it's more anxiety fear. Yeah. I think I think it's amazing to. I used to get made fun of like from my family when I was younger that it would always be like

you are so over analytical about your feelings. I obviously was the more emotional one of the family and to like my family doesn't, like I'm grateful for it, but they don't struggle with any type of mental health whatsoever. Like they are truly, they're just good. They are just good all the time. I can't relate at all, never have been able to. Nope. Me neither.

But I actually think as much as they would tease me about it, I think it's a blessing and a curse sometimes. But I think it's a blessing in the sense of like being able to dissect your feelings and like journaling is a huge thing. I know it gets overly talked about. And I don't mean just like in the morning like writing down three things you're grateful for and it getting like super repetitive. Because I definitely take breaks from that. I think there's like a reason it's amazing, but also sometimes I mean like journaling in the sense of like, okay, is this fear or is this my intuition? I'm going to write down exactly what I'm feeling for the next week because these emotions are so strong. And being able to like see this on paper, you're reading it, it gets pretty clear.

And the only thing that might make it not clear is your. your self wanting to ignore the truth. Yes. And I am a big proponent for like pen to paper. I think there is something different that happens. Yeah. When you're actually writing it versus like typing it. But you can do that too.

Yeah. It's always different when you get it out of your head. And it's so revealing because we generally don't lie to ourselves, right? Like when you're just stream of consciousness, journaling, writing, whatever's going on. whereas when it's in our head we can rationalize and we can justify and we can do mental gymnastics but if we're just like brain dump on a piece of paper you're like oh wow like often like I've found that it can just take one time where it makes me change my entire perspective on something absolutely like that or an amazing therapist too I mean I finally just last couple months found

one that challenges me. I think that's so important. I had one before and I was just, which is great too. I was just talking to myself, which like sometimes you just need that to get it out. But this woman will catch me and be like, why do you think that? Do you think that this is a toxic pattern? And I'm like, oh gosh, yes. Unfortunately, you're right. So I think both of those are really good ideas. What else is working for you right now. I think we probably talked about it on our last podcast episode maybe that and I'm very vocal about it on social media that I went eight and a half years without a period. And I actually haven't shared too much about this, but I just got my period for the first time in eight and a half years without any birth control supplement. I mean anything. And I

I firstly went through a breakup, which was a freeing feeling. And then I decided to do some, like, energy healing with my friend Jess Stone. She does, like, a lot of tarot card readings. Why do I know that name? You probably met her. She does a lot of, like, events. Does she have a place in Venice? She would do, like, a little pop up at that honey place in Venice.

That's what I might be thinking. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And so we'd be. become friends and she was like, I do like one-on-one energy healings. And I was just feeling so called to it because first of all, I've tried everything to get my period back in a holistic way. And I really wanted to try absolutely everything before having to turn to something like birth control. I was like, I think that there's something going on within me that's resisting that.

And I also have not really opened up about this, but there's just been something in my life always that's a little bit afraid of men. And being intimate, I've always been the shy, like a guy puts his arm around me. I want to have a panic attack. Don't like don't know how to have fun in like nighttime environments due to being afraid of that. I started to, you know, do a lot of breathwork and meditation. and that would keep coming up. And I started to realize maybe the two were related. The reason I don't get my period is because of this fear or there's something I'm holding

on to. And so I did a really amazing long energy healing session with her. And it became so clear to me why those feelings where I went back to being a child. And nothing like dramatic. It was just very clear of like, oh, like, That makes sense. Like that, I took that as a traumatic experience or just, I'm sure so many women can relate of being, like, overly sexualized when they're, like, way too young to be just by, like,

even little tiny comments from teachers or whoever. And I was able to just look at these situations and be like, I forgive that person. I forgive myself. And I'm releasing it. And this sounds so weird, but I woke up the next day with cramps. And five days later, I got my period. Wow. Yeah.

That is incredible. Yeah. I don't think it's weird. I think it makes sense. I think that there's so much going on in our bodies that we don't understand that can't be measured by whatever traditional, you know, Western practices. And it's kind of similar to, I don't know, acupuncture. And I'm sure you tried that as well. But, you know, they talk about these meridians and these energy connections. And that's not something that can be measured or quantified, but how many people do acupuncture and it works. So I think like the energy thing totally makes sense. Yeah. And I also think leading up to that, I see this guy named Brian. His company is called Shen Generation. And that's exactly what he does is body work. So Jess is more of like the mental.

side of energy healing and like she does do like reiki and stuff and then Brian is he is like hitting points of your body like he sometimes even uses like chiropractic therapies as well and he's in Venice he's in Culver City oh I know I'm like I think I know that guy too he's amazing and so I think the the mix of working with both of them along with being free from being in a relationship I allowed me to fully have that. And like, to be honest, it's been only two months. But since that day, I am, like, I genuinely didn't know this level of happiness and freedom existed in my life. And I feel like I've stepped into my, like, feminine side.

And it's just become so apparent how much I was living in the masculine. And of course, like, if you're living that much in the masculine, you're not. Like your period is such a feminine thing. And it just makes a lot of sense. I think honestly, even though I was doing the right things, I would say I started to really try and do the right things and heal my body and eat properly and have more protein and like do all the things that the like doctors were telling me to. But I do feel like COVID really instilled this like hustle and girl boss culture in us.

And I think it really screwed a lot of us up. I mean, I'm sure a lot of people got rich, which is great. But also, I think that there was so much of like, what more can I do? What more can I do? The algorithm, this. Like, how can I go viral? Like, oh, I'm afraid I'm going to lose my job. A lot of fear. Which resulted in people having a lot of hustle culture. And so from that point on, I was just like, that's why I say, too, when I look at my social media from like last year and the year before, I don't even really recognize myself because I'm like, this was all so. fear-based. And I just feel like ever since the last couple months, I've really, it's not even that I'm like, oh, I'm healed and I'm good. And I don't have any of those other sides of me. Of course, they still exist. But I'm just so aware of it now. This show is sponsored by Better Help. Sometimes in life, we are faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear. I have to say, I've been dealing with a lot of uncertainty lately.

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Just visit ritual.com slash blonde. to start ritual or add essential for women 18 plus to your subscription today. Again, that's ritual.com slash blonde. Yeah, and if you're in fear all the time, like, I'm sure there's a cortisol element to it where, like I know, because I personally run on fear, like I said, if I'm not doing certain things to kind of counteract that and be mindful. And I've had period issues my whole life, like shocker, you know, because when you're in fear, even if you're in fear, even if you're counteract that and be mindful.

you're not consciously thinking about it and it's just subconscious. Yeah, you're a fight or flay. Your body is not worried about reproducing. So I think that's probably not necessarily in your case, but I think that's a big part of that. And I think our thoughts really dictate a lot of our health and our experience. And I think so many people have the experience of being like, okay well I'm like working out I'm eating right I don't eat gluten dairy sugar whatever like maybe they're not drinking alcohol I'm meditating I'm journaling you can do all the things but if you're still talking to yourself in a certain way or if you're in that relationship where you're always wondering and you have that like narrative going on or you're desiring to be free

and you don't feel free like so many different things if that's happening like that's going to dictate a lot of what a thousand percent I think like such a prime example too is I got to go to Italy on a trip for a friend's wedding and it couldn't have come at a better time I've never done the the summer in Europe it looked amazing and I was I've it's been you know I'm a Pinterest board for my whole life so I was very excited and it couldn't have come at a better time I was drinking so much wine and I have a glass of wine here and have the worst hangover. I don't really drink. So much wine, three bread baskets at dinner and lunch and honestly sometimes breakfast. Like I mean bowls of olive oil. Like just really for me too, I know that's maybe not a big deal to some people,

but I am extremely careful with what I eat here because I'm just not and that doesn't come anymore from a fear base. It comes from like an addiction to feeling good. And I do have a more sensitive body. So I know that like I have to take certain steps that make me feel good. And usually it's not bread and wine. But there I would wake up more clear minded than ever. And then coming back to L.A. being in, you know, the same neighborhood as the partner that I just got out of a relationship with and kind of having the like fear of maybe running into that person as well as all the memories that come back as well as like the food here is just and the wine is not the same but I didn't even do that I had like a salad and did a cold plunge and did a sauna and did all

the right things but because all of those other thoughts were still surrounding me felt way worse than I did when I was in a new place of like freedom out there and I'm not saying everyone needs to book a trip to Italy because that's like so unrealistic but I do think sometimes it is good to like be in a new environment if you can or switch things up even if that just means like switching up your furniture and your apartment and letting go a little like not being so strict on what you think works because sometimes like change means you actually need to like change other things as well. Yeah.

What I'm hearing from all of this is like that there's so much freedom in the unknown, which is so ironic because that's what we're all scared of. But it's very inspiring to like just take that leap. And I'm sure everybody listening has something that they want to do that they're afraid of, whether it's leaving a relationship or being in a relationship or changing their career or moving or. or whatever, down to like little things. But for whatever reason, like, we're really, we're really wired and I think we're really trained to, like, stay in what's familiar.

Yeah. Totally. And I think we're also so trained to, like, be so sure of things. And it's like, you don't need to know. Like, you can just make a decision. And if you want to change your mind in a couple days, change your mind. Like, I think if only everyone really understood. that like they are in charge of their own story and they don't need to do it anyway like we're

it's inevitable that we're going to disappoint people and we're going to disappoint ourselves so you might as well just do what you feel you need to do yeah whenever I do Q&As or like solo episodes people are like how do you like not care what people think and how do you not live your life and I'm like I just could never like because regardless of what you do do. People aren't going to agree with things or they're not going to like it or they're going to feel let down like that's on them. That's not on you. Like I just can't imagine not following like your own truth and like the things that really call you. I don't know if I'm articulating that right. No, you are. I completely agree. I'm just thinking of the questions that I had that were coming in.

And we're kind of like in this area a little bit. So I'm curious how. this experience and maybe everything leading up to it, like has affected how you feel in your body and your body image. And I know that like you started eating meat again. And that's kind of to that. I'm sure you got a lot of flack for that from people online. I actually didn't. Wow. So much support. I feel like you have a good community then. I also just feel like people are so into eating meat right now. Yeah. Like there's like a movement of meat eaters. And there's like a movement of like people not having a label on their diet. So I think there was just a lot more, you know, Pita commented on a couple of things being like, no, come back to us.

I'm sure I'll get the comment or it's here on the podcast. They love to leave a one star review. Oh, yeah. They don't agree. Yep. They'll do that. But besides them, no, so much support. I also just think like people can obviously feel your energy even if it's through the phone.

And I think they could tell how like I did feel kind of guilty about it. Like it's not like I was like, F it. I'm just going to go and eat me. I don't care anymore. Yeah. It was like this is everything I've ever been against. And this is a really weird moment for me. but like I am going to after nine years finally listen to my body and it's screaming at me.

I mean, I'm dreaming of myself sitting at Airwan eating steak. Like, got to go. Got to go do it. Was this around when you got your period back to? Say like three months before I started to like, honestly, I've only had steak. That's, I ate fish. I had steak like honestly, maybe like five times. just it's kind of like I treat it like oh I'm craving this I'm having a craving I'm going to go

and you know give my body that I feel like again like the sense of freedom I think there's there's such a confusion when it comes to if you've dealt with body dysmorphia or any type of eating disorder or body issues whatsoever, you can get so confused because like being bloated right now is having such a moment and it's the real deal. Like it's the most uncomfortable feeling. Yet, I do think especially all of us women, we, we are going to deal with that, especially living here in America, move to Europe, maybe not. But we're going to deal with that and it can really mix your mind up because you're like, I just don't feel comfortable. in my body, but I think it's like sometimes we're actually like holding on to just so much

stress that's causing that because I still get bloated and I experience it and I'm a proud, you know, bloat queen and we'll still take all the supplements needed. Yeah, but the amount it has reduced is actually insane. And I genuinely think that is letting go of stress of, of, honestly, I just think the amount of pressure I put on myself to look a certain way because it was where I got myself worth from in so many aspects to truly like commit to like the self love practice of like what you love about yourself beyond that, what you love to do for other people or how you want to feel. Like I just had a big. wake up call and it doesn't mean I still don't want to look good like I'm still going to work out

and eat the right things and like I don't know do some M sculpts sometimes because I want to like I I still will but it's such a not first priority anymore and so that freedom like I feel so comfortable in my body mind you I just want to preface like of course I still have my days like I did cry once in Italy because I was like, I don't feel amazing. But I only cried once. And like usually I would cry every day. So that's a win. That is definitely a win.

Yeah. Okay. Let's do some listener questions. What's one wellness practice you couldn't live without? Practice or treatment. They said like sauna, cold plunge, etc. But it could be anything. Yeah.

I got to say the cold. cold therapy, whether it's a cold plunger, even just a cold shower. I think that's just because anxiety can be such a debilitating feeling where you're like, there's nothing that can fix this right now. And I feel like that reduces my anxiety. Everyone's asking about your period. Yeah. Big deal. Favorite skincare or makeup products? Skin care is clear stem. I would say their hydra berry mask. I got like during. So I never had any skin problems. And last year I got it and I had to stop using everything.

And Clearstim is that along with like a couple of products from other lines. But their products are the only products I like truly, truly, truly, truly trust and anything that's non-pore clogging. SOS Tower 28 spray. That one I couldn't live without. And then makeup would say refined. lip liner and rare beauty bronzer. Amazing. Yep.

I want to try that rify. Oh, it's, I'm wearing right now. It's so good. You're wearing the lip liner? It's a really good shade. Okay. How to deal with disordered eating thoughts on the daily? When like those types of thoughts would come up, I just think the simplest thing of closing your eyes and taking like three really big deep breaths and then sometimes going on a walk.

Like even if it's, I know that those can come up a lot of the time when you're like about to eat. And so what I would do is three really big deep breaths and go on a little walk and then just be able to like clear your head. I know not everyone like has time for that. But even just the breathing like it's your nervous system is just like it's almost like your shoulders are up to your chin and you're just really tense. So to just like get realigned with yourself. I know that sounds so simple, but I feel like it really does the trick. Mm-hmm. You know?

What do you get done to maintain your youth of favorite treatments? Ooh. You are youthful, though. And how old are you? I'm 27 and I hang on to that number until Friday because I turned 28. No way. Happy birthday. Thank you.

I get disported. in my forehead honestly too not even just to like reduce the wrinkles because I actually don't dislike wrinkles but the glassy glowiness it gives you I'm obsessed with that so I probably do that every maybe like four five months and then I get lip filler I actually got a little in my chin last time but they were just like it's a little uneven we could put it in your chin and I was like, hey, go for it. Oh, that one hurt. The next day, I was like, what did I just go through? It can feel like you got punched in the face. Yeah. And I also do like radio frequency facials like Forma or something like that. And I honestly don't know truly if those are like, it's hard to tell on those because it's

not like overnight progress. But I feel like I hear a lot of people saying that they're beneficial. So do you color your hair in episode? What do you tell your stylist? I don't know. I know. Natural. I feel like that was a very vain way to answer. How do I keep my youth?

No, no, no. That's what people want to. Drink a lot of water. Yeah, yeah. Go outside, ground myself, eat a lot of vegetables. Oh, they listen to this podcast. They want the, they want the vein stuff. Good, good.

Well, I guess I'll just come up with a question because we answered most. Yeah. What are you most excited about now? I'm really excited to see just honestly what comes up in my life being a lot more open. I've never felt excited to date. And I actually really feel that way and like be, I feel like this is so weird to say. But like step into like that more sexual side of myself. And I don't mean like I'm going to have like a. slut girl summer like or whatever they call it. Nothing wrong with that though. No, nothing wrong with that.

I just, I think I'm actually like wanting to be alone and do that, but just step into that like side of myself. And I feel like it's going to change the creative projects I do, the work projects I do, even some of the relationships I have in my life. So I'm honestly just really open and and excited for that. Well, thank you for coming on. This was such a candid conversation. that I think so many people are going to relate to and get something from and get inspired by. And I'm sure you and I are going to get messages like I left the relationship that I've been wanting to. Put that pressure on me.

No, I'm kidding. I think it's great. Like I think it's honoring your truth. Right. Like, and you can only try to quiet that for so long like we were saying before. And then I think when you do that, it manifests itself in so many different ways. And it's just really inspiring to see you like honor that and walk through the fear, like feel the fear and do it anyway and grow and evolve. So thank you so much for coming on.

Thank you for having me. All everybody where they can find you. Ad Alyssa Lynch on Instagram, TikTok, all that. Thank you. Yeah. I hope you enjoyed that episode. And if you liked it and if you like the show in general, please take a second to rate review and subscribe. a long way, and it's actually the best way to support the show. Also, if you want to see more

about each episode, you can head over to The Blond Files podcast on Instagram. You can go to Arialuri.com, and I'm always posting about each episode over on my personal page at Arial Lori. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.